1
00:00:10,528 --> 00:00:12,262
(exclaims)
2
00:00:16,834 --> 00:00:18,635
(school bell ringing)
3
00:00:21,507 --> 00:00:22,474
(belches)
4
00:00:22,542 --> 00:00:24,476
(whistle blows)
5
00:00:24,544 --> 00:00:26,411
(yells)
6
00:00:30,749 --> 00:00:31,849
(beeping)
7
00:00:37,221 --> 00:00:39,155
(playing the blues)
8
00:00:40,358 --> 00:00:44,026
(playing the blues)
9
00:00:44,094 --> 00:00:45,191
(tires screeching)
10
00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:48,058
D'oh!
11
00:00:48,126 --> 00:00:49,225
(tires screeching)
12
00:00:49,293 --> 00:00:50,760
(grunts)
13
00:01:01,003 --> 00:01:03,271
Excellent.
14
00:01:03,339 --> 00:01:05,473
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
15
00:01:08,544 --> 00:01:11,111
(laughing)
16
00:01:17,051 --> 00:01:18,451
(screams)
17
00:01:18,519 --> 00:01:20,920
Don't worry. I'll put out the flames.
18
00:01:20,987 --> 00:01:22,154
(thuds) (groans)
19
00:01:22,222 --> 00:01:24,522
Oops! I used the wrong end.
20
00:01:24,590 --> 00:01:27,258
(muffled grumbling)
21
00:01:27,326 --> 00:01:28,426
(groaning)
22
00:01:28,494 --> 00:01:30,395
(laughing)
23
00:01:30,462 --> 00:01:31,896
Hilarious!
24
00:01:31,964 --> 00:01:33,531
I don't like this.
25
00:01:33,599 --> 00:01:36,567
Real humor comes from people
being nice to each other.
26
00:01:36,634 --> 00:01:38,034
Aw, come on, Marge.
27
00:01:38,102 --> 00:01:40,836
There's nothing funnier than
a good old bonk on the head.
28
00:01:40,904 --> 00:01:42,838
I concur. D'oh!
29
00:01:42,906 --> 00:01:44,706
(giggling) Not funny.
30
00:01:44,774 --> 00:01:47,809
Good night kids, and don't forget,
Krusty loves you!
31
00:01:47,876 --> 00:01:50,111
MAN: That's a wrap!
32
00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:52,112
And you kids in the studio audience,
33
00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:54,548
please hand back all the hats,
toys, and savings bonds
34
00:01:54,616 --> 00:01:55,916
I passed out during the taping.
35
00:01:55,984 --> 00:01:57,718
(kids exclaiming sadly)
36
00:02:01,456 --> 00:02:03,223
Great show, Krusty.
37
00:02:03,291 --> 00:02:04,858
Terrific! We've got to make changes.
38
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,092
Big changes.
39
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,160
These are your ratings with young girls.
40
00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:10,562
Hey, if my writers knew
how to appeal to girls,
41
00:02:10,629 --> 00:02:12,728
they wouldn't be writers.
42
00:02:12,796 --> 00:02:15,563
First of all, we love being
in the Krusty business.
43
00:02:15,631 --> 00:02:18,766
The subtitle: "We u at all."
44
00:02:18,833 --> 00:02:20,801
Anyway, we're giving you
a new female co-star
45
00:02:20,868 --> 00:02:22,268
and she starts Monday. What?!
46
00:02:22,336 --> 00:02:23,903
A new co-star?!
47
00:02:23,971 --> 00:02:26,339
Suppose I refuse to go along with this?
48
00:02:26,406 --> 00:02:28,307
Then we've got an entire reality show
49
00:02:28,375 --> 00:02:30,308
all set to pick the new you.
50
00:02:30,376 --> 00:02:32,877
Hey, hey! I'm non-union!
51
00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:35,245
Okay, okay. Change the
show however you want!
52
00:02:35,313 --> 00:02:37,413
Make it exactly like the
other crap on your network,
53
00:02:37,481 --> 00:02:39,448
but just let me stay!
54
00:02:39,516 --> 00:02:41,250
(sobs): Just don't fire me.
55
00:02:41,318 --> 00:02:43,552
Now that's groveling.
56
00:02:44,388 --> 00:02:46,655
Time to try out my new deep fryer.
57
00:02:46,723 --> 00:02:48,224
Who wants fresh doughnuts?
58
00:02:48,291 --> 00:02:49,726
Me! Me! Me-me-me! Me! Me! Me-me-me!
59
00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:52,229
And I even got rainbow sprinkles.
60
00:02:52,296 --> 00:02:54,563
Some rainbow-- there's no violet.
61
00:02:54,631 --> 00:02:55,664
Then don't have any.
62
00:02:55,732 --> 00:02:56,898
Hey, don't listen to me!
63
00:02:56,966 --> 00:02:58,466
What do I know about rainbows?
64
00:02:58,534 --> 00:02:59,567
(smacking lips) Mmm.
65
00:02:59,634 --> 00:03:00,768
None for me, Marge.
66
00:03:00,835 --> 00:03:02,535
I get free doughnuts at work.
67
00:03:02,603 --> 00:03:03,835
I can see them now.
68
00:03:03,903 --> 00:03:05,703
In the break room, beside the fridge,
69
00:03:05,771 --> 00:03:07,772
the pink cardboard box awaits.
70
00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:11,041
Groaning with a "United
Nations" of doughnuts:
71
00:03:11,109 --> 00:03:13,611
jellies rubbing elbows with cream-filled,
72
00:03:13,678 --> 00:03:16,413
the masculine contours of the box juxtaposed
73
00:03:16,481 --> 00:03:18,883
with the feminine curves
of the treats themselves.
74
00:03:20,218 --> 00:03:21,685
Why didn't you try to stop him?
75
00:03:21,753 --> 00:03:23,920
I did, once.
76
00:03:23,988 --> 00:03:25,521
(humming happily)
77
00:03:25,589 --> 00:03:26,689
(exclaims)
78
00:03:26,756 --> 00:03:27,855
No pink box?
79
00:03:27,923 --> 00:03:29,457
Wha-what's going on?
80
00:03:29,524 --> 00:03:32,160
I'm afraid your daily doughnuts are no more.
81
00:03:32,228 --> 00:03:34,362
You. Can't. Do. That.
82
00:03:34,430 --> 00:03:36,597
Until Mr. Roosevelt's
New Deal starts working,
83
00:03:36,665 --> 00:03:37,832
this country's still in a depression.
84
00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:39,868
I'm spending a fortune on atoms,
85
00:03:39,936 --> 00:03:41,170
and we have to cut costs.
86
00:03:41,237 --> 00:03:42,805
But we have way more expensive
87
00:03:42,872 --> 00:03:44,305
unnecessaries than doughnuts.
88
00:03:44,373 --> 00:03:46,073
Yeah, like the ceiling furniture.
89
00:03:46,141 --> 00:03:48,476
Or all the joke ID badges we order.
90
00:03:48,544 --> 00:03:49,843
No doughnuts!
91
00:03:49,911 --> 00:03:51,578
No! D'oh! Nuts!
92
00:03:51,646 --> 00:03:53,179
Exactly.
93
00:03:55,049 --> 00:03:56,683
Hey! Hey!
94
00:03:56,751 --> 00:03:58,586
But seriously, hey, hey, kids.
95
00:03:58,653 --> 00:04:00,154
A word about today's show.
96
00:04:00,222 --> 00:04:02,523
The network "geniuses"
97
00:04:02,591 --> 00:04:04,992
with the ink still drying on their MBAs...
98
00:04:05,060 --> 00:04:06,894
(derisive laughter)
99
00:04:06,961 --> 00:04:09,829
...think your old pal Krusty
should share his limelight
100
00:04:09,897 --> 00:04:12,264
with an up-and-coming new star.
101
00:04:12,332 --> 00:04:14,333
Let's give a respectful welcome
102
00:04:14,401 --> 00:04:16,635
to Princess Penelope.
103
00:04:16,702 --> 00:04:18,035
(sparse applause)
104
00:04:18,103 --> 00:04:19,869
* *
105
00:04:22,706 --> 00:04:27,343
* Where do I keep my princess-ness? *
106
00:04:27,410 --> 00:04:31,612
* It's not in my jewels or my crown *
107
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:36,918
* It's not in the smiles
of my handmaids three *
108
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:39,019
* Who hold up the train *
109
00:04:39,087 --> 00:04:41,655
* Of my gown *
110
00:04:41,723 --> 00:04:47,299
* It's the part of me that wants to be *
111
00:04:47,366 --> 00:04:52,003
* The girl whom everyone flatters *
112
00:04:58,275 --> 00:04:59,309
(groans)
113
00:04:59,376 --> 00:05:01,844
* 'Cause in her heart *
114
00:05:01,911 --> 00:05:04,012
* A princess knows *
115
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:09,015
* She's the only girl who matters *
116
00:05:09,083 --> 00:05:12,984
(trilling high note)
117
00:05:13,052 --> 00:05:16,086
I can't keep watching this dreck.
118
00:05:16,154 --> 00:05:17,621
(relieved sigh)
119
00:05:17,689 --> 00:05:18,989
Much better.
120
00:05:19,056 --> 00:05:21,257
First, girls ruined Sex and the City.
121
00:05:21,325 --> 00:05:22,425
Now this.
122
00:05:22,493 --> 00:05:24,127
I agree it's cliché,
123
00:05:24,194 --> 00:05:25,361
but she does have a certain...
124
00:05:25,428 --> 00:05:27,162
(gasps) Unicorn!
125
00:05:29,264 --> 00:05:31,198
(exclaims)
126
00:05:31,266 --> 00:05:32,799
That is so fake.
127
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:34,600
You can see the strap on the horn.
128
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:35,668
Just give me this!
129
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:39,337
Easy there, Habitrail.
130
00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:41,105
They took away our doughnuts at work.
131
00:05:41,173 --> 00:05:43,674
All I've had are my meals.
And the worst thing is,
132
00:05:43,742 --> 00:05:45,142
there's nothing we can do about it.
133
00:05:45,210 --> 00:05:46,577
I think that's the best thing
134
00:05:46,644 --> 00:05:47,978
'cause then you can say, "Well,
135
00:05:48,045 --> 00:05:49,646
there's nothing we can do about it."
136
00:05:49,713 --> 00:05:52,447
Bartender, buy these men a round on me.
137
00:05:52,515 --> 00:05:54,415
You want to "buy a round?"
138
00:05:54,483 --> 00:05:56,283
I heard about that in bartending school,
139
00:05:56,351 --> 00:05:58,185
but I never seen it happen.
140
00:05:58,253 --> 00:06:00,286
Oh, this is very good for me.
141
00:06:00,353 --> 00:06:01,586
Very good indeed.
142
00:06:01,654 --> 00:06:03,655
Gator McCall. I'm a headhunter.
143
00:06:03,723 --> 00:06:04,956
(screams)
144
00:06:05,023 --> 00:06:06,157
(chuckles)
145
00:06:06,225 --> 00:06:07,525
I'm a corporate recruiter
146
00:06:07,593 --> 00:06:09,795
who specializes in nuclear workers.
147
00:06:09,864 --> 00:06:13,334
I guess these days,
headhunters can be anything.
148
00:06:13,401 --> 00:06:16,504
You nuclear workers have no
idea how valuable you are.
149
00:06:16,571 --> 00:06:18,439
Times have never been
better for your industry,
150
00:06:18,507 --> 00:06:20,440
now that all the protesters
who marched in front
151
00:06:20,508 --> 00:06:22,175
of nuclear power plants are dying off
152
00:06:22,243 --> 00:06:23,510
from radiation poisoning.
153
00:06:23,577 --> 00:06:25,744
Are these business cards
154
00:06:25,812 --> 00:06:27,846
or passports to a better future?
155
00:06:27,914 --> 00:06:29,781
Those are business cards. Nice.
156
00:06:31,417 --> 00:06:33,151
Krusty, thanks to Princess Penelope,
157
00:06:33,219 --> 00:06:34,952
your studio audience is packed.
158
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:37,688
And we didn't need any cardboard kids.
159
00:06:37,756 --> 00:06:40,123
Yeah, but they're all girls.
160
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,558
Girls don't laugh,
and they don't buy cigars.
161
00:06:42,626 --> 00:06:45,327
Dutch Masters is gonna
drop us like a hot potato.
162
00:06:45,395 --> 00:06:47,095
(music plays, excited
chatter) Hey, hey, kids!
163
00:06:47,163 --> 00:06:48,596
Let's see what's in the news.
164
00:06:48,664 --> 00:06:51,866
I see we reached a soft
timber agreement with Canada.
165
00:06:51,934 --> 00:06:54,101
GIRLS (chanting): We want the Princess!
166
00:06:54,169 --> 00:06:55,436
Don't forget the unicorn!
167
00:06:55,504 --> 00:06:59,473
Did I hear the sound of wishes being wished?
168
00:06:59,540 --> 00:07:00,940
(girls clamoring): Yes! Yes!
169
00:07:01,008 --> 00:07:02,641
* *
170
00:07:02,709 --> 00:07:06,311
* Glitter and sparkle, one, two, three *
171
00:07:06,379 --> 00:07:10,347
* You're all princesses just like me. *
172
00:07:11,516 --> 00:07:14,351
(sneezing)
173
00:07:14,418 --> 00:07:17,787
Breathin' all this stuff can't be good.
174
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,288
Poor Krusty.
175
00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:21,356
He's become the lowest
form of life: a sidekick.
176
00:07:21,424 --> 00:07:22,857
You said it, Bart.
177
00:07:22,925 --> 00:07:24,425
Way to sum up the situation.
178
00:07:24,493 --> 00:07:25,894
Take it easy, little buddy.
179
00:07:25,962 --> 00:07:27,729
That's exactly how I'll take it.
180
00:07:32,255 --> 00:07:35,256
Do you want to come in and get
your sister with me? Hell, no.
181
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:37,258
Watch your language. Now, why the hell not?
182
00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:39,359
The Krusty Show sucks now.
183
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:41,593
It's all pink and princessy.
184
00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:43,561
Why are great things always ruined by women?
185
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,629
The Army, the Fantastic Four.
186
00:07:45,697 --> 00:07:47,297
Think how awesome American Idol
187
00:07:47,365 --> 00:07:48,832
would be with just Simon and Randy.
188
00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:50,767
(chuckles)
189
00:07:50,835 --> 00:07:52,802
Oh, Bart, you say that now.
190
00:07:52,870 --> 00:07:55,004
But when you're grown up,
you'll just think it.
191
00:07:55,072 --> 00:07:56,772
Now you stay here and I'll get your sister.
192
00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:58,140
(humming)
193
00:07:58,208 --> 00:08:00,575
Princess Penelope, sign mine, sign mine!
194
00:08:06,315 --> 00:08:07,648
(gasps)
195
00:08:07,716 --> 00:08:09,082
What the...?!
196
00:08:10,885 --> 00:08:13,086
Where's all your Krusty stuff?
197
00:08:13,154 --> 00:08:14,721
Right through that magical door.
198
00:08:17,825 --> 00:08:18,925
(gasps)
199
00:08:18,993 --> 00:08:20,326
Ay carumba!
200
00:08:20,394 --> 00:08:22,127
(groans)
201
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:27,231
Krusty?
202
00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:29,833
Snap out of it!
203
00:08:29,901 --> 00:08:31,635
You're Krusty the Clown.
204
00:08:31,703 --> 00:08:33,570
One of Look magazine's hundred mos
t-promising clowns
205
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,205
of 1958.
206
00:08:35,273 --> 00:08:37,841
A lot of suicides in that group.
207
00:08:37,909 --> 00:08:41,177
Funny suicides (chuckles), but still.
208
00:08:41,244 --> 00:08:42,677
My day is over, kid.
209
00:08:42,745 --> 00:08:44,178
What are you talking about?
210
00:08:44,246 --> 00:08:45,646
Whose name is on that sign?
211
00:08:48,917 --> 00:08:50,716
D'oh!
212
00:08:50,784 --> 00:08:54,219
(Krusty doll laughing) Hey,
how'd this one get way over here?
213
00:08:57,622 --> 00:09:00,123
That's it. I've hit rock-bottom.
214
00:09:00,191 --> 00:09:01,891
Well, my comeback starts now.
215
00:09:03,059 --> 00:09:05,929
I mean, now. Ow!
216
00:09:05,997 --> 00:09:08,731
Let me start by getting out of the Dumpster.
217
00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:12,335
Oh, why do clown things
always happen to clowns?
218
00:09:19,608 --> 00:09:21,375
Now other nuclear plants let their employees
219
00:09:21,443 --> 00:09:24,411
tape Gary Larson cartoons
on their workstations.
220
00:09:24,479 --> 00:09:26,846
But here at Cap City Nuclear,
you can actually see...
221
00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:28,014
Gary Larson.
222
00:09:29,616 --> 00:09:31,751
Gary Larson?! I thought you retired.
223
00:09:31,818 --> 00:09:33,152
I was retired
224
00:09:33,219 --> 00:09:35,520
until I got the call from
Capital City Nuclear,
225
00:09:35,587 --> 00:09:37,087
offering me the chance to be
226
00:09:37,155 --> 00:09:38,922
the in-house cartoonist at a nuclear plant.
227
00:09:38,990 --> 00:09:41,657
Gary, why don't you whip
up an instant classic
228
00:09:41,725 --> 00:09:43,859
for my friends here? You got it, Gator.
229
00:09:47,663 --> 00:09:51,332
Man, a lion would not want
to see that on his X-ray.
230
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,869
(New York accent): Where are you? Where?
231
00:09:55,937 --> 00:09:58,371
You're not even in Nassau County
anymore. You're in Suffolk.
232
00:09:58,439 --> 00:10:01,407
Look, look, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
233
00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:02,675
You're going the wrong way.
234
00:10:02,743 --> 00:10:03,776
(knocking) Hold on.
235
00:10:03,844 --> 00:10:05,978
(lilting voice): Coming!
236
00:10:06,046 --> 00:10:08,247
Now see here, Little Miss Scene Stealer,
237
00:10:08,314 --> 00:10:10,014
I'm the star of this show.
238
00:10:10,082 --> 00:10:12,216
You're just the reason people tune in.
239
00:10:12,284 --> 00:10:14,518
(New York accent): Krusty,
there's something I have to tell you.
240
00:10:14,586 --> 00:10:16,387
No, no! Let me finish:
241
00:10:16,455 --> 00:10:18,188
I work like I drink: alone.
242
00:10:18,256 --> 00:10:19,823
Or with a monkey watching me.
243
00:10:19,891 --> 00:10:22,191
Krusty... I love you.
244
00:10:22,259 --> 00:10:25,094
That way, if I pass out,
he turns me on my side so...
245
00:10:25,162 --> 00:10:26,595
You what?!
246
00:10:26,663 --> 00:10:30,732
I have loved you since I
was a 12-year-old girl,
247
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,133
in Mineola, Long Island, watching your show.
248
00:10:33,201 --> 00:10:34,934
WDQT?
249
00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:37,636
They had this fat, pathetic station manager.
250
00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:39,471
That was my father. Great guy.
251
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:42,407
I still have my Krusty Klub ring.
252
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:46,177
I wasn't popular because I was
more beautiful and friendly
253
00:10:46,245 --> 00:10:47,712
than everyone else,
254
00:10:47,779 --> 00:10:49,413
but whenever I looked at this ring,
255
00:10:49,481 --> 00:10:52,549
I knew I had one friend.
256
00:10:52,617 --> 00:10:55,118
You know those rings came
with a membership card.
257
00:10:56,787 --> 00:10:57,920
That's the one.
258
00:10:59,122 --> 00:11:01,223
Oh, my God.
259
00:11:01,291 --> 00:11:04,192
Please don't tell me I died
on the operating table again.
260
00:11:04,260 --> 00:11:05,193
You didn't.
261
00:11:05,261 --> 00:11:07,596
This is real, Krusty.
262
00:11:07,663 --> 00:11:09,798
(nervous chuckle)
263
00:11:16,149 --> 00:11:19,885
Welcome to the Krusty and
Princess Penelope
264
00:11:19,952 --> 00:11:22,220
Smoochie-Poo I Love You Hour.
265
00:11:22,288 --> 00:11:24,922
No laughs, just hugs a cuddles.
266
00:11:24,990 --> 00:11:26,323
Don't worry.
267
00:11:26,391 --> 00:11:27,791
Mr. Teeny's t a flaming arrow.
268
00:11:32,828 --> 00:11:34,462
Oh, yuck.
269
00:11:39,534 --> 00:11:43,003
(to the tune of "This Old Man") *
This old clown, tee-hee-hee *
270
00:11:43,071 --> 00:11:45,272
* He's as happy as can be *
271
00:11:45,339 --> 00:11:47,841
* 'Cause I got a girlfriend under 33... *
272
00:11:47,909 --> 00:11:49,843
Boo! Boo!
273
00:11:49,911 --> 00:11:52,480
I walked 19 miles for this?
274
00:11:52,548 --> 00:11:55,083
* Can't you kids be glad for me? *
275
00:11:57,553 --> 00:12:00,088
* I am her, she is me *
276
00:12:00,156 --> 00:12:02,323
* I'm just like Penelope... *
277
00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:07,128
* It's still on in my head *
278
00:12:07,196 --> 00:12:09,163
* It will be there till I'm dead... *
279
00:12:09,231 --> 00:12:10,264
(groans)
280
00:12:10,332 --> 00:12:11,933
(humming tune)
281
00:12:13,369 --> 00:12:15,803
Whether she was competing
in equestrian events
282
00:12:15,871 --> 00:12:20,274
at the 1976 Olympics or spending
her summers at Holyrood Palace,
283
00:12:20,342 --> 00:12:22,643
Princess Anne is truly a world leader.
284
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:29,681
Okay, so far, for "Inspirational Women Day"
285
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,148
we've had one Princess Anne, 15 Dias,
286
00:12:32,216 --> 00:12:35,017
two baby Princess Ingrid
Alexandras of Norway,
287
00:12:35,085 --> 00:12:36,585
and one Princess Leia.
288
00:12:36,653 --> 00:12:38,987
I'm a Star Wars. (sighs)
289
00:12:40,589 --> 00:12:43,825
(satisfied moan)
290
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:47,862
I dot care what anyone says.
Massages are relaxing.
291
00:12:47,929 --> 00:12:51,064
Now if you boys sign up
with Cap City Nuclear,
292
00:12:51,132 --> 00:12:52,632
you'll get weekly massages,
293
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:55,768
plus free sushi right through the face hole.
294
00:13:01,008 --> 00:13:03,408
Sir, I have some unsettling news:
295
00:13:03,475 --> 00:13:05,476
three of our workers are being poached.
296
00:13:05,544 --> 00:13:06,944
The heart of our tug-of-war team.
297
00:13:07,012 --> 00:13:09,580
No. No, this is our year.
How can this be happening?
298
00:13:09,647 --> 00:13:11,947
Sir, I'm afraid your doughnu
t-cutting measures,
299
00:13:12,015 --> 00:13:14,715
whe reasable, were perceived as draconian.
300
00:13:14,783 --> 00:13:17,951
Comparing me to old Draco, eh?
301
00:13:18,019 --> 00:13:19,886
I'll have to do something about this.
302
00:13:22,122 --> 00:13:23,689
(cracking)
303
00:13:26,392 --> 00:13:28,426
(lush romantic music playing)
304
00:13:30,797 --> 00:13:34,066
* I was a parched little seedling *
305
00:13:34,134 --> 00:13:39,437
* Until you were watered with love *
306
00:13:39,505 --> 00:13:45,941
* Love, love, love, love, love. *
307
00:13:46,009 --> 00:13:47,809
op the music!
308
00:13:47,877 --> 00:13:49,277
Thank God.
309
00:13:49,345 --> 00:13:51,345
I'm sick and tired of this woman...
310
00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:52,480
Yes!
311
00:13:52,547 --> 00:13:54,281
...not being married to me.
312
00:13:54,349 --> 00:13:55,549
Huh?
313
00:13:55,617 --> 00:13:59,319
Penelope, will you be my princess bride?
314
00:14:00,822 --> 00:14:04,524
Oh, Krusty, yes! Yes!
315
00:14:04,591 --> 00:14:06,259
(trilling high note)
316
00:14:06,326 --> 00:14:08,294
That's it. Game over.
317
00:14:08,362 --> 00:14:10,863
Is it, Bart? Is it?
318
00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:12,398
What are you talking about?
319
00:14:12,465 --> 00:14:15,234
A wedding is a complex thing, Bart.
320
00:14:15,302 --> 00:14:17,669
It's so easy for something to go wrong.
321
00:14:17,737 --> 00:14:19,203
(gasps)
322
00:14:19,271 --> 00:14:22,139
Milhouse Van Houten,
will you do me the honor
323
00:14:22,207 --> 00:14:24,308
of ruining Krusty's wedding with me?
324
00:14:24,376 --> 00:14:27,211
Oh, Bart, this is all happening so fast.
325
00:14:27,279 --> 00:14:29,046
Let's call my mom together.
326
00:14:35,099 --> 00:14:36,766
Good-bye, power plant.
327
00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:40,800
(sobbing) I'd better get out of
here before I have a meltdown.
328
00:14:40,868 --> 00:14:44,537
If I hadn't had to work in you,
we might've been friends.
329
00:14:44,605 --> 00:14:46,105
So long.
330
00:14:49,342 --> 00:14:50,275
Oh, right.
331
00:14:53,079 --> 00:14:54,512
(all gasping)
332
00:14:56,115 --> 00:14:57,782
Gentlemen.
333
00:14:57,849 --> 00:15:00,783
Please don't leave me.
334
00:15:00,851 --> 00:15:02,751
Sir, I'm afraid it's too late.
335
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:05,220
Oh, I imagine Cap City's been wooing you
336
00:15:05,288 --> 00:15:06,788
with trips to the seashore,
337
00:15:06,855 --> 00:15:09,124
a Christmas goose, Spanish lemons,
338
00:15:09,191 --> 00:15:10,558
folderol I can't afford to match.
339
00:15:10,626 --> 00:15:14,430
But please, accept this
little going-away present.
340
00:15:14,498 --> 00:15:16,031
(scoffs)
341
00:15:16,099 --> 00:15:18,532
You can't win us back with mere doughnuts.
342
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,134
Oh, but these aren't just any doughnuts.
343
00:15:21,202 --> 00:15:24,271
These doughnuts were made
the old-fashioned way:
344
00:15:24,339 --> 00:15:26,706
the dough is sweetened with Cuban sugar
345
00:15:26,774 --> 00:15:30,609
from pre-Batista plantations,
then it's deep-fried
346
00:15:30,677 --> 00:15:32,744
in the tallow of three different animals,
347
00:15:32,812 --> 00:15:35,080
two of which are now extinct.
348
00:15:35,148 --> 00:15:36,481
Hmm?
349
00:15:39,785 --> 00:15:42,954
(Delibes' "The Flower Duet" playing)
350
00:15:43,021 --> 00:15:46,954
That is the most amazing
doughnut I've ever tasted.
351
00:15:47,022 --> 00:15:50,023
Well, if youtay on at the
Springfield Nuclear Plant,
352
00:15:50,091 --> 00:15:52,292
you could have one of these
tasty beauties every day.
353
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:54,560
(groans)
354
00:15:54,628 --> 00:15:56,395
One of these every day might kill us.
355
00:15:56,462 --> 00:15:58,563
Can we get a health plan to go with them?
356
00:15:58,630 --> 00:16:00,430
Sure, you can have a health plan...
357
00:16:00,498 --> 00:16:02,765
or two doughnuts a day.
358
00:16:02,833 --> 00:16:05,767
(moaning ecstatically)
359
00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:08,035
Move over, Brangelina.
360
00:16:08,102 --> 00:16:10,237
Take a back seat, Queen Latifarod.
361
00:16:10,305 --> 00:16:13,239
Because today belongs to "Krustelope."
362
00:16:13,307 --> 00:16:15,408
This is the 15th marriage for Krusty,
363
00:16:15,476 --> 00:16:17,310
and the first for "Princess Penelope,"
364
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:18,978
who is not, in fact, a real princess.
365
00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:20,947
Her actual name is:
366
00:16:21,015 --> 00:16:24,853
Penelope Mountbatten Hapsburg
Hohenzollern Mulan-Pocahontas.
367
00:16:28,058 --> 00:16:30,026
(singing in Hebrew)
368
00:16:38,033 --> 00:16:39,734
(clearing throat)
369
00:16:39,802 --> 00:16:41,836
Well, let's do the ceremony.
370
00:16:41,903 --> 00:16:43,904
("Bridal March" playing)
371
00:16:47,275 --> 00:16:50,243
Friends, loved ones,
we are gathered here today
372
00:16:50,311 --> 00:16:53,145
to marry a Jew and a...
373
00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:56,515
Congregationalist-- is that even a thing?
374
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:59,084
And now, let's continue with this mockery.
375
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,719
Hmm? Hmm?
376
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,320
You're not my ringbearer.
377
00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:03,955
What happened to the monkey?
378
00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:05,489
I locked him in the Torah room.
379
00:17:05,557 --> 00:17:08,792
(chattering)
380
00:17:08,859 --> 00:17:10,559
Kid, what's your angle?
381
00:17:10,627 --> 00:17:12,728
I'm trying to seal the deal over here.
382
00:17:12,796 --> 00:17:15,063
Princess, before you marry Krusty,
383
00:17:15,131 --> 00:17:16,331
there's someone you should meet.
384
00:17:16,399 --> 00:17:17,565
Holly Hippie.
385
00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:21,769
Krusty's sidekick in
1969 and his first wife.
386
00:17:21,836 --> 00:17:23,970
He wouldn't let me watch the moon landing.
387
00:17:24,037 --> 00:17:27,106
I was jealous of Neil Armstrong.
388
00:17:27,173 --> 00:17:28,974
And his last wife, Eartha Kitt,
389
00:17:29,042 --> 00:17:30,975
recorded this before her untimely death.
390
00:17:31,043 --> 00:17:33,244
They were only married for six hours,
391
00:17:33,312 --> 00:17:35,347
but she still hated Krusty.
392
00:17:35,414 --> 00:17:37,782
He was asleep for five of those hours.
393
00:17:37,850 --> 00:17:41,184
And the one he was awake,
was a cat-tastrophe.
394
00:17:41,252 --> 00:17:42,452
(snarling)
395
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:46,022
Wow, wow, this is such an eye-opener.
396
00:17:46,090 --> 00:17:49,960
I am blown away by how
little this bothers me.
397
00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:52,063
I really love this guy.
398
00:17:52,131 --> 00:17:56,799
And you are the greatest thing
that's ever happened to me.
399
00:17:56,866 --> 00:17:59,468
d that's why I can't marry you.
400
00:17:59,535 --> 00:18:02,236
This kid and his ugly sister are right.
401
00:18:02,304 --> 00:18:03,737
I won't be good enough for ya.
402
00:18:03,805 --> 00:18:06,840
You can never disappoint me.
403
00:18:06,908 --> 00:18:09,743
I know your past-- your mug shots,
404
00:18:09,811 --> 00:18:13,245
your bowling alley shoe spray addiction,
your country album.
405
00:18:13,313 --> 00:18:14,713
They don't bother me.
406
00:18:14,780 --> 00:18:16,447
They don't?
407
00:18:16,515 --> 00:18:17,748
Don't you love me?
408
00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:25,958
Princess, you're the only
woman I care about enough
409
00:18:26,026 --> 00:18:27,559
to ditch at the altar.
410
00:18:27,627 --> 00:18:29,096
Okay, Krusty,
411
00:18:29,163 --> 00:18:31,164
if that's how you feel.
412
00:18:31,232 --> 00:18:34,399
We'll always have Sideshow
Mel's dressing room.
413
00:18:34,467 --> 00:18:36,267
What?! Ew!
414
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,475
(lively music playing)
415
00:18:43,543 --> 00:18:45,343
(laughing)
416
00:18:46,978 --> 00:18:58,454
* We're after the same rainbow's end *
417
00:18:58,522 --> 00:19:02,857
* Waiting 'round the bend *
418
00:19:02,925 --> 00:19:06,960
* My huckleberry friend *
419
00:19:07,027 --> 00:19:15,033
* Moon river *
420
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:23,507
* And me... *
421
00:19:25,411 --> 00:19:27,745
Merci. Merci.
422
00:19:48,833 --> 00:19:49,866
(gasps)
423
00:19:50,668 --> 00:19:51,868
Oh...
424
00:19:51,936 --> 00:19:53,536
Just my imagination.
425
00:19:53,604 --> 00:19:55,004
KRUSTY: No, it wasn't.
426
00:19:55,072 --> 00:19:57,306
I came here looking for you,
and I fell off the boat.
427
00:19:57,374 --> 00:19:59,976
(gurgling)
428
00:20:00,043 --> 00:20:02,778
Krusty! My Borscht Belt baby!
429
00:20:05,715 --> 00:20:08,017
You changed your mind.
430
00:20:08,084 --> 00:20:13,189
Ah, I'd rather be a happy
schnook than a noble shlumpf.
431
00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:40,633
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
432
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:19,676
(trilling high note)