1 00:00:27,996 --> 00:00:36,426 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:37,075 --> 00:00:39,210 Oh, I love going to aquatic parks. 3 00:00:39,277 --> 00:00:41,876 Sure, they have worse rides than amusement parks, 4 00:00:41,944 --> 00:00:45,478 less fish than aquariums- but the parking is ample! 5 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,412 (Marge humming) 6 00:00:49,214 --> 00:00:51,647 Now to seal you in for safety. 7 00:00:54,517 --> 00:00:58,051 Oh, there's so many photo ops, 8 00:00:58,119 --> 00:01:00,586 but I already filled up my camera in the parking lot. 9 00:01:00,654 --> 00:01:03,254 Parking lot C sign, the tram, 10 00:01:03,321 --> 00:01:04,821 a license plate from Canada, 11 00:01:04,889 --> 00:01:06,923 a bird eating potato chips, 12 00:01:06,990 --> 00:01:08,190 my feet walking, 13 00:01:08,257 --> 00:01:10,324 that boy who got sick on the tram, 14 00:01:10,392 --> 00:01:12,258 Grampa talking to a mermaid hedge, 15 00:01:12,326 --> 00:01:14,160 the park rules in Spanish, 16 00:01:14,228 --> 00:01:15,662 a fat baby, 17 00:01:15,730 --> 00:01:18,064 Grampa telling a story to a trailer hitch. 18 00:01:18,132 --> 00:01:20,700 (ding) Oops! I erased them all! 19 00:01:22,137 --> 00:01:23,604 I want to do that! 20 00:01:23,672 --> 00:01:25,841 (mechanical whirring) 21 00:01:25,909 --> 00:01:27,238 (gasping) 22 00:01:27,306 --> 00:01:29,007 I'm going to take stuff from the lost and found! 23 00:01:29,077 --> 00:01:31,011 (humming) 24 00:01:31,079 --> 00:01:32,511 (chuckles) 25 00:01:32,579 --> 00:01:34,477 (people screaming) 26 00:01:34,545 --> 00:01:35,945 My feet hurt! 27 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,614 left ear's freezing! 28 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,114 My right ear's burning! 29 00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:41,150 I got fish smell in my wrinkles! 30 00:01:41,217 --> 00:01:42,451 (grunts) 31 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,686 ANNOUNCER: Attention, exploro-nauts! 32 00:01:44,753 --> 00:01:45,853 That's us! 33 00:01:45,921 --> 00:01:47,620 In one minute, we'll be starting 34 00:01:47,688 --> 00:01:50,719 our rock-quatic roll-tacular! 35 00:01:50,787 --> 00:01:53,219 Hurry! If we don't get a seat in the splash zone, 36 00:01:53,287 --> 00:01:55,722 I've worn my bathing suit under my clothes for nothing! 37 00:01:55,789 --> 00:01:57,489 GRAMPA: A splash-'em-up show? 38 00:01:57,557 --> 00:02:01,192 Reminds me of the time I hig h-dived into a damp sponge 39 00:02:01,260 --> 00:02:04,930 for the amusement of Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker. 40 00:02:04,998 --> 00:02:07,032 Grampa, no stories! 41 00:02:07,099 --> 00:02:09,832 You can come with us, or sit here on the shark bench. 42 00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:12,333 You know, I did sit on a shark once... 43 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,867 d, bathing suit! 44 00:02:13,935 --> 00:02:15,368 (grunts) 45 00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:17,169 Oops! No bathing suit. 46 00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:18,403 * * 47 00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:20,271 Let's give a wet and wacky welcome 48 00:02:20,339 --> 00:02:23,374 to Springfield's oldest performing mollusk... 49 00:02:23,441 --> 00:02:24,808 Get to the show! 50 00:02:24,876 --> 00:02:26,376 This is the show! 51 00:02:26,444 --> 00:02:29,712 Here's the original Octomom: Slimu! 52 00:02:33,115 --> 00:02:34,215 * Whoa! * 53 00:02:34,283 --> 00:02:36,217 * I feel good * 54 00:02:36,284 --> 00:02:37,618 (applause, cheering) 55 00:02:37,686 --> 00:02:38,619 * I knew that I would... * 56 00:02:38,686 --> 00:02:40,521 Slimu! Did you get my letters? 57 00:02:40,588 --> 00:02:42,656 Slimu wasn't expecting company, 58 00:02:42,723 --> 00:02:44,791 so he's got some cleaning up to do! 59 00:02:44,858 --> 00:02:47,459 *...I wouldn't now * 60 00:02:47,527 --> 00:02:49,160 * So good * 61 00:02:49,228 --> 00:02:50,928 (muffled laughter) 62 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,232 Slimu looks kind of uncomfortable. 63 00:02:55,299 --> 00:02:57,300 Wouldn't you be if you were a saltwater fish 64 00:02:57,368 --> 00:02:59,436 in a freshwater aquarium? 65 00:02:59,503 --> 00:03:02,238 The country has its first black president. 66 00:03:02,306 --> 00:03:05,340 Maybe it's time for the first octopus president! 67 00:03:05,408 --> 00:03:08,676 ("Hail to the Chief" playing) 68 00:03:08,744 --> 00:03:10,644 And when it comes to signing bills, 69 00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:12,546 he can provide his own ink! 70 00:03:14,749 --> 00:03:16,983 Ahh, oily! 71 00:03:17,051 --> 00:03:19,986 (cheering and applause) 72 00:03:20,053 --> 00:03:22,621 They'll cheer a dancing octopus, 73 00:03:22,689 --> 00:03:26,557 but not an old man complaining about everything. 74 00:03:26,625 --> 00:03:28,859 Excuse me, sir. Is this seat taken? 75 00:03:28,927 --> 00:03:31,761 Well, not for a pretty girl like you! 76 00:03:31,829 --> 00:03:33,697 (chuckles nervously) 77 00:03:33,765 --> 00:03:36,232 Well, this is the first time I ever sat on a shark. 78 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,634 Not me-- sat on a real one once! 79 00:03:38,702 --> 00:03:40,168 Tell me more! More?! 80 00:03:40,236 --> 00:03:41,569 (gasps) 81 00:03:41,637 --> 00:03:43,070 Play it cool, Grampa. 82 00:03:43,138 --> 00:03:45,105 Play it cool! 83 00:03:45,173 --> 00:03:47,340 It was back in World War II. 84 00:03:47,408 --> 00:03:49,409 I was a Seaman First Class 85 00:03:49,476 --> 00:03:51,978 on the USS World War I. 86 00:03:52,045 --> 00:03:53,679 We were minding our own business 87 00:03:53,747 --> 00:03:56,248 when we were attacked by a hea t-seeking torpedo 88 00:03:56,315 --> 00:03:59,083 we had fired the day before. 89 00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:00,484 (explosion) 90 00:04:00,552 --> 00:04:03,220 (men screaming) 91 00:04:03,287 --> 00:04:04,454 (gasps) 92 00:04:06,857 --> 00:04:08,624 Don't worry about the sharks, boys. 93 00:04:08,691 --> 00:04:11,559 Just play possum and they'll leave you alone. 94 00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:14,894 GRAMPA: Unfortunately, sharks love possum. 95 00:04:18,162 --> 00:04:21,396 Hey, boys, these sharks can't bite us if we're on their backs! 96 00:04:21,463 --> 00:04:23,397 (grunts) Yeah. 97 00:04:23,465 --> 00:04:26,299 It's like riding the Cyclone back at Coney Island! 98 00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:27,633 Whoa! 99 00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:29,637 It's like riding a dust devil back in Yuma-- 100 00:04:29,705 --> 00:04:32,307 like I read about in a book back in Boston! 101 00:04:32,375 --> 00:04:34,743 GRAMPA: By the time the rescue planes came, 102 00:04:34,810 --> 00:04:37,343 we had those sharks trained pretty good. 103 00:04:44,348 --> 00:04:47,050 I still keep in touch with all those men 104 00:04:47,118 --> 00:04:48,485 and some of the sharks. 105 00:04:48,553 --> 00:04:50,921 Why, here's us in Hawaii last year. 106 00:04:50,988 --> 00:04:53,689 Good times. 107 00:04:53,757 --> 00:04:55,791 Sir, my name is Marshall Goldman. 108 00:04:55,859 --> 00:04:57,726 I'm a newspaper columnist 109 00:04:57,794 --> 00:05:00,195 specializing in human interest stories. 110 00:05:00,263 --> 00:05:01,429 You're in the newspaper business? 111 00:05:01,497 --> 00:05:02,730 (chuckles) 112 00:05:02,798 --> 00:05:04,766 Something that's gonna die before I do! 113 00:05:04,833 --> 00:05:06,935 You have any other stories you'd care to tell me? 114 00:05:07,003 --> 00:05:09,270 Someone's listening to me! 115 00:05:09,337 --> 00:05:12,773 Now I know how a radio feels! 116 00:05:12,841 --> 00:05:14,275 (school bell ringing) 117 00:05:14,342 --> 00:05:17,077 Well, class, it's Friday afternoon. 118 00:05:17,144 --> 00:05:19,410 That means it's time to find out which one of you gets 119 00:05:19,478 --> 00:05:21,909 to take Larry the Lamb home for the weekend. 120 00:05:21,977 --> 00:05:22,843 (all sigh) Oh! Oh! Oh! 121 00:05:22,911 --> 00:05:24,076 And don't forget, 122 00:05:24,144 --> 00:05:26,379 the lucky student gets to add his or her page 123 00:05:26,447 --> 00:05:28,313 to Larry's personal journal. 124 00:05:28,381 --> 00:05:31,082 Just like Martin did last week. 125 00:05:31,150 --> 00:05:32,150 Ha! 126 00:05:32,218 --> 00:05:34,219 I want him first! No, me! 127 00:05:34,287 --> 00:05:36,754 Oh, not that stupid stuffed lamb again. 128 00:05:36,822 --> 00:05:37,789 This isn't learning! 129 00:05:37,856 --> 00:05:39,157 Do you want to learn? 130 00:05:39,225 --> 00:05:40,958 No, no, no. I'm just saying... 131 00:05:41,026 --> 00:05:42,126 This weekend, 132 00:05:42,193 --> 00:05:45,029 Larry will go home with... 133 00:05:45,097 --> 00:05:45,863 (all gasp) 134 00:05:45,931 --> 00:05:47,465 Please, God, I need this. 135 00:05:47,533 --> 00:05:48,967 ...Bart Simpson. 136 00:05:49,035 --> 00:05:50,202 (all groan) 137 00:05:50,269 --> 00:05:52,537 Oh, cruel irony! 138 00:05:52,605 --> 00:05:54,973 Hey, the only thing I bring home are notes to my parents, 139 00:05:55,041 --> 00:05:57,042 and those do not arrive the way that they left. 140 00:05:57,110 --> 00:06:00,077 Hmm. 141 00:06:00,145 --> 00:06:02,979 Oh, what a nice note! 142 00:06:03,047 --> 00:06:05,581 I'm not sticking my hand in that can again. 143 00:06:05,649 --> 00:06:06,849 You're getting the lamb. 144 00:06:09,053 --> 00:06:11,355 Not so fast. 145 00:06:11,422 --> 00:06:14,158 Tell the diary how special he makes you feel! 146 00:06:16,328 --> 00:06:19,264 More adjectives! 147 00:06:19,331 --> 00:06:20,698 That's an adverb! 148 00:06:20,766 --> 00:06:21,800 (grunts) 149 00:06:21,867 --> 00:06:23,702 (sizzling) 150 00:06:30,340 --> 00:06:31,574 Top of the morning, Homer. 151 00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:32,675 Seen the paper? 152 00:06:32,743 --> 00:06:34,809 No, I get my news off the Internet. 153 00:06:34,877 --> 00:06:36,909 (laughing) 154 00:06:36,977 --> 00:06:40,212 Well, sir, it looks like your dad is a quotable notable. 155 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:42,547 Huh? 156 00:06:42,615 --> 00:06:45,049 That's a... It's funny. 157 00:06:45,117 --> 00:06:46,584 It's poignant... 158 00:06:46,652 --> 00:06:47,819 It actually happened! 159 00:06:47,887 --> 00:06:49,988 My father is interesting?! 160 00:06:50,056 --> 00:06:52,391 The whole world's upside down! 161 00:06:52,458 --> 00:06:54,526 That must mean Cathy is funny. 162 00:06:54,593 --> 00:06:55,793 Nope. 163 00:06:57,328 --> 00:06:59,629 Abe, I never knew you were so full of... 164 00:06:59,697 --> 00:07:01,631 (speaking Yiddish)! What does that mean? 165 00:07:01,699 --> 00:07:02,998 It's like (speaking Yiddish), 166 00:07:03,066 --> 00:07:05,500 but with a pinch more (speaking Yiddish)! 167 00:07:05,568 --> 00:07:07,569 Yep, I may just be 168 00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,872 the best known Abraham in history. 169 00:07:09,940 --> 00:07:11,607 So, Abe, what else you got for me? 170 00:07:11,675 --> 00:07:13,442 Hmm, well, let's see. 171 00:07:13,510 --> 00:07:16,345 Ooh, I was working as a shoeshine boy 172 00:07:16,413 --> 00:07:19,247 at Springfield Union Station. 173 00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:21,079 * * 174 00:07:25,215 --> 00:07:28,216 Every Monday, the Tinseltown Starliner would stop 175 00:07:28,284 --> 00:07:30,784 at 1:17 p.m. on its way to Hollywood. 176 00:07:30,852 --> 00:07:32,748 I never rode that train, 177 00:07:32,816 --> 00:07:35,218 but I'd palaver with the movie stars 178 00:07:35,285 --> 00:07:38,087 when they got out to stretch their legs. 179 00:07:38,155 --> 00:07:39,988 Hiya! 180 00:07:45,163 --> 00:07:46,997 (clicking) 181 00:07:57,938 --> 00:08:00,538 But none was more memorable than... 182 00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:01,706 Clark Gable! 183 00:08:01,774 --> 00:08:03,541 Looks like someone has seen my work 184 00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:05,376 as an extra in Du Barry, Woman Of Passion. 185 00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:06,710 I sure have, Mr. Gable. 186 00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:08,778 How come you ain't a star yet? 187 00:08:08,846 --> 00:08:10,512 Maybe my ears are too big. I don't know. 188 00:08:10,580 --> 00:08:12,147 (laughs) 189 00:08:12,215 --> 00:08:14,084 Hey, what you reading there? Oh, it's called 190 00:08:14,152 --> 00:08:15,654 Gone with the Wind. You can have it. 191 00:08:15,721 --> 00:08:18,091 It's only got one swear word, and not a very good one. 192 00:08:18,159 --> 00:08:19,392 Gone with the Wind, eh? 193 00:08:19,460 --> 00:08:21,761 Well, let's see: garbage, garbage, my line. 194 00:08:21,829 --> 00:08:23,497 Garbage, garbage, my line. 195 00:08:23,564 --> 00:08:25,399 Atlanta burns, nice dresses. I like it! 196 00:08:25,466 --> 00:08:27,467 Thanks, kid. 197 00:08:27,535 --> 00:08:30,336 Don't tell this story to anyone for 60 years. 198 00:08:30,404 --> 00:08:32,372 (train whistle blowing) 199 00:08:32,439 --> 00:08:34,473 "Clark Gable owes me a book. 200 00:08:34,541 --> 00:08:36,575 "And he never paid me for the shoeshine. 201 00:08:36,643 --> 00:08:39,110 "But his big blue eyes could melt the butter 202 00:08:39,178 --> 00:08:40,845 "you kept in your pocket for lunch. 203 00:08:40,913 --> 00:08:42,647 Lunch butter we called it." 204 00:08:42,715 --> 00:08:45,783 How come Grampa never shared those stories with us? 205 00:08:45,851 --> 00:08:47,184 He does all the time. 206 00:08:47,252 --> 00:08:48,352 You just never listen. 207 00:08:48,419 --> 00:08:50,620 Marge, my brain is like a computer, 208 00:08:50,688 --> 00:08:54,456 and I file away Grampa's stories in a very special place. 209 00:08:57,627 --> 00:08:59,160 (crunching) 210 00:08:59,228 --> 00:09:01,062 Hmm, while I'm up there. 211 00:09:02,997 --> 00:09:05,064 (crunching) 212 00:09:05,132 --> 00:09:07,099 (dings) 213 00:09:07,166 --> 00:09:08,634 (chuckles) 214 00:09:08,702 --> 00:09:10,303 (beeps) 215 00:09:10,371 --> 00:09:11,571 Uh-oh. 216 00:09:11,639 --> 00:09:12,839 (dog barking) 217 00:09:15,643 --> 00:09:17,476 (growling) That's it, boy! Go for the nards! 218 00:09:17,543 --> 00:09:18,810 Bart! 219 00:09:18,878 --> 00:09:20,512 If you're not gonna take care of him right, 220 00:09:20,579 --> 00:09:22,079 then give him to me. 221 00:09:22,147 --> 00:09:24,581 How come you don't get mad when I torment real animals? 222 00:09:24,649 --> 00:09:26,949 I do! It enrages me! 223 00:09:27,017 --> 00:09:29,585 I thought you Hindus were supposed to love everybody. 224 00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:31,188 I'm a freaking Buddhist! 225 00:09:31,256 --> 00:09:32,323 A Buddhist! 226 00:09:34,759 --> 00:09:37,594 Larry, please don't judge our whole family by Bart. 227 00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:38,995 He's the black sheep. 228 00:09:39,062 --> 00:09:40,663 I mean, not that black sheep 229 00:09:40,731 --> 00:09:42,331 are in any way inferior to white sheep. 230 00:09:42,399 --> 00:09:43,933 I do not judge wool by its color-- 231 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,768 only by how itchy it is. 232 00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:46,902 (chuckles) Ooh, look! 233 00:09:46,970 --> 00:09:48,203 Jazz! 234 00:09:48,271 --> 00:09:51,272 Larry, what sub-genre of jazz do you like? 235 00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:52,940 Fusion? Neo-bop? 236 00:09:53,008 --> 00:09:54,308 Afro-Cuban? 237 00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:55,809 (gasps) 238 00:09:55,877 --> 00:09:57,611 Larry! 239 00:09:57,678 --> 00:10:00,313 Gotcha! (screams) 240 00:10:00,380 --> 00:10:01,748 (water splashing) 241 00:10:01,815 --> 00:10:03,750 Larry? Oh, Larry? 242 00:10:03,817 --> 00:10:04,984 Larry? 243 00:10:05,051 --> 00:10:06,885 Larry?! 244 00:10:06,953 --> 00:10:10,455 You're coming off desperate, honey. 245 00:10:10,522 --> 00:10:13,892 That's how I got my idea for a suitcase with wheels, 246 00:10:13,959 --> 00:10:16,662 from watching a commercial about a suitcase with wheels. 247 00:10:16,729 --> 00:10:17,663 (all sigh) 248 00:10:17,731 --> 00:10:19,331 Hey, Abe, 249 00:10:19,399 --> 00:10:20,799 great stories. 250 00:10:20,867 --> 00:10:23,132 I'm Mitch Albom, author of Tuesdays with Morrie. 251 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:24,466 Never heard of you. 252 00:10:24,533 --> 00:10:26,001 Yeah. Sure you haven't. 253 00:10:26,068 --> 00:10:28,436 Take a hike, Hollywood. 254 00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,037 I've already got a college boy 255 00:10:30,105 --> 00:10:32,874 to turn my every word into syndicated gold. 256 00:10:32,941 --> 00:10:35,009 Yeah, beat it, sports page. 257 00:10:35,077 --> 00:10:37,679 And what if I don't? 258 00:10:37,746 --> 00:10:39,447 (grumbling) 259 00:10:40,649 --> 00:10:43,548 (grumbling) 260 00:10:45,251 --> 00:10:46,418 (grumbling) 261 00:10:47,620 --> 00:10:49,486 (groans) 262 00:10:49,554 --> 00:10:53,021 Clouds are God's sneezes. 263 00:10:53,089 --> 00:10:54,556 Ooh, I like this kid. 264 00:10:57,259 --> 00:10:59,595 (humming) 265 00:10:59,662 --> 00:11:02,530 Oh, Dad, I got you some Scotch. 266 00:11:02,598 --> 00:11:03,995 One of those fancy ones 267 00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:06,396 the checkout lady had to unlock the cabinet to get. 268 00:11:06,463 --> 00:11:07,830 Well, well, well, 269 00:11:07,898 --> 00:11:10,965 look who decided to visit me twice in one year. 270 00:11:11,032 --> 00:11:14,000 This man's more of a son to me than you've ever been. 271 00:11:14,068 --> 00:11:15,668 What the...?! 272 00:11:15,736 --> 00:11:18,872 Well, he's more of a father to me than you've ever been! 273 00:11:18,940 --> 00:11:20,341 I don't think that's true. 274 00:11:20,409 --> 00:11:21,376 Stay out of this, Dad. 275 00:11:21,444 --> 00:11:23,077 Uh, no. O-Okay. 276 00:11:23,145 --> 00:11:25,913 You only care about me now because I'm famous. 277 00:11:25,981 --> 00:11:27,047 That's it. 278 00:11:27,115 --> 00:11:28,582 Here's your ring back. 279 00:11:28,649 --> 00:11:29,817 Ring? What ring? 280 00:11:29,884 --> 00:11:31,622 It's a father-son commitment band 281 00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:33,657 that I bought and never told you about. 282 00:11:33,725 --> 00:11:36,060 (sobbing) 283 00:11:38,295 --> 00:11:40,295 And now I'm telling you. 284 00:11:43,426 --> 00:11:45,860 Okay, I need the stupid lamb back. 285 00:11:45,928 --> 00:11:47,463 He's in here, safe and sound. 286 00:11:47,530 --> 00:11:49,467 Let me just staple that bag for you. 287 00:11:49,535 --> 00:11:51,336 (panting) 288 00:11:54,974 --> 00:11:56,741 Hmm. 289 00:11:56,809 --> 00:11:58,075 This isn't Larry. 290 00:11:58,142 --> 00:12:00,276 It's just cotton balls on toilet paper rolls. 291 00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:01,444 Where's the real Larry? 292 00:12:01,511 --> 00:12:03,011 Well, what do you care? 293 00:12:03,079 --> 00:12:04,513 You don't even like him. 294 00:12:04,581 --> 00:12:06,781 Of course I don't, but other people do. 295 00:12:06,849 --> 00:12:09,150 Hey, Bart, can't wait to see Larry again. 296 00:12:09,218 --> 00:12:12,786 Um, what if someone were to lose Larry? 297 00:12:12,854 --> 00:12:16,489 They'd see a dark side of me no one knows about. 298 00:12:16,557 --> 00:12:18,557 * Nelson loved a little lamb * 299 00:12:18,625 --> 00:12:21,492 * Little lamb, little lamb * 300 00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:23,730 * Nelson loved a little lamb * 301 00:12:23,797 --> 00:12:26,766 * He kept me nice and sane. * 302 00:12:31,837 --> 00:12:33,070 (beep) 303 00:12:33,138 --> 00:12:34,238 ABE: You've reached Abe. 304 00:12:34,305 --> 00:12:35,606 MARSHALL: And Marshall. 305 00:12:35,673 --> 00:12:37,874 Abe can't come to the phone right now. 306 00:12:37,942 --> 00:12:40,776 ABE: And if this is Homer, you're too late for my love. 307 00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:41,944 (beep) 308 00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:43,245 Stupid Grampa. 309 00:12:43,313 --> 00:12:45,280 I try to end the cycle of neglect, 310 00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:47,382 and he hits me with some super neglect. 311 00:12:47,450 --> 00:12:49,551 Maybe you're not really mad at Grampa. 312 00:12:49,618 --> 00:12:51,052 Maybe you're mad at yourself 313 00:12:51,119 --> 00:12:53,554 for taking him for granted all these years. 314 00:12:53,622 --> 00:12:55,556 Marge, how can anyone be mad at himself? 315 00:12:55,624 --> 00:12:57,458 It's impossible. Watch. 316 00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:59,026 Why, you little... 317 00:12:59,094 --> 00:13:00,861 (gasps) Oh, I can't. 318 00:13:00,929 --> 00:13:03,530 When I look at those beautiful chubby cheeks. 319 00:13:03,598 --> 00:13:04,731 Come here, you. 320 00:13:04,799 --> 00:13:06,599 Ow! 321 00:13:06,667 --> 00:13:08,868 Ow! I'll kill you, you son of a...! 322 00:13:08,936 --> 00:13:10,804 Oh. No, no, don't-don't look hurt. 323 00:13:10,871 --> 00:13:12,138 Okay. It's okay. 324 00:13:12,206 --> 00:13:13,372 It's okay. 325 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:14,974 I'll show Grampa. 326 00:13:15,041 --> 00:13:16,842 I'll find my own surrogate father 327 00:13:16,909 --> 00:13:19,908 full of heart-warming stories I can share with the world. 328 00:13:19,976 --> 00:13:23,111 And that's how you win an opium war. 329 00:13:23,179 --> 00:13:25,113 Oh, great stuff. 330 00:13:25,181 --> 00:13:26,581 And the life lesson is? 331 00:13:26,649 --> 00:13:29,716 The Yangtze River swallows all secrets. 332 00:13:29,784 --> 00:13:31,084 Hmm. 333 00:13:31,152 --> 00:13:33,787 I'm just gonna put "Haste makes waste." 334 00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:37,023 Yes, although, these days, I can make neither haste nor waste. 335 00:13:37,090 --> 00:13:38,524 You know, Simpson, 336 00:13:38,591 --> 00:13:40,525 this has truly been a lovely afternoon. 337 00:13:40,593 --> 00:13:42,527 Release... a hound. 338 00:13:43,728 --> 00:13:45,962 Isn't that cute? 339 00:13:46,030 --> 00:13:47,697 He thinks he's a pack. 340 00:13:47,765 --> 00:13:49,098 (barking) (yells) 341 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,333 Where'd you get this rope? 342 00:13:52,401 --> 00:13:53,334 Swiped it from gym class. 343 00:13:53,402 --> 00:13:54,535 Climb that rope! 344 00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:58,239 There is no rope. 345 00:13:58,307 --> 00:14:00,240 Well, you better get to the ceiling somehow! 346 00:14:00,308 --> 00:14:01,575 (panting) 347 00:14:01,643 --> 00:14:03,143 Ceiling, ceiling, ceiling! (grunts) 348 00:14:03,211 --> 00:14:05,479 (groaning) 349 00:14:05,547 --> 00:14:07,214 Bart, I'm losing my grip. 350 00:14:07,282 --> 00:14:08,816 Put the rope in your teeth. 351 00:14:08,883 --> 00:14:10,350 What will that do? 352 00:14:10,418 --> 00:14:11,584 It'll shut you up. 353 00:14:11,652 --> 00:14:13,619 (grunts) 354 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:14,853 Hmm. 355 00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:16,153 Larry? 356 00:14:16,221 --> 00:14:18,821 Larry the Lamb? 357 00:14:18,889 --> 00:14:21,156 There you are, you piece of crap. 358 00:14:21,224 --> 00:14:22,457 (yells) 359 00:14:22,525 --> 00:14:24,391 There's rats in my pants! 360 00:14:24,459 --> 00:14:27,326 Chief, my brother fell in the storm drain! 361 00:14:27,394 --> 00:14:30,862 Um, I'm strictly an abov e-the-ground policeman. 362 00:14:30,929 --> 00:14:32,596 What you need is the sewer cops. 363 00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:33,930 Fine. What's their number? 364 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,198 Lisa, you're old enough now 365 00:14:35,265 --> 00:14:36,832 that I can tell you the truth. 366 00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:38,834 There's no such thing as the sewer cops. 367 00:14:38,902 --> 00:14:41,640 It's just something we tell kids to make them feel safe. 368 00:14:41,708 --> 00:14:43,142 What about Bart? 369 00:14:43,210 --> 00:14:45,678 Well, if you miss him, yell into a toilet. 370 00:14:47,247 --> 00:14:49,148 BART (echoing): It's dark down here! 371 00:14:51,852 --> 00:14:54,721 I have a column I'd like to submit. 372 00:14:54,789 --> 00:14:56,090 Pay me whenever. 373 00:14:56,157 --> 00:14:57,925 I'll just take this to our editor. 374 00:15:00,124 --> 00:15:02,290 (shredder whirring) 375 00:15:02,358 --> 00:15:04,423 Hmm. 376 00:15:09,196 --> 00:15:11,098 What? 377 00:15:11,166 --> 00:15:14,802 Pulitzer Prize application form? 378 00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:18,671 "When I rode with Abe Simpson on t Tinseltown Starliner, 379 00:15:18,739 --> 00:15:22,441 "I never dreamed his first voyage would be his last? 380 00:15:22,509 --> 00:15:24,509 "At 3:00 on Monday, 381 00:15:24,577 --> 00:15:26,343 Abe passed away peacefully in his sleep." 382 00:15:29,079 --> 00:15:31,614 How would he know Grampa was going to die today? 383 00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:34,951 Unless he was going to kill him! 384 00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:36,752 But would someone really kill a man 385 00:15:36,820 --> 00:15:38,854 just to win a Pulitzer Prize? 386 00:15:38,922 --> 00:15:41,824 (music plays dramatic sting) 387 00:15:45,494 --> 00:15:47,261 (gasps) 388 00:15:50,037 --> 00:15:53,638 All aboard the final run of the Tinseltown Starliner, 389 00:15:53,706 --> 00:15:56,440 the last ride into a nostalgic past. 390 00:15:56,508 --> 00:15:58,542 Anyone without a ticket will be beaten 391 00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:00,243 by classic railroad bulls. 392 00:16:01,812 --> 00:16:04,013 * Old Dan Tucker was a fine old man * 393 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:06,681 ALL: * He washed his face in the frying pan * 394 00:16:06,749 --> 00:16:08,483 * He combed his hair with a wagon wheel * 395 00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:11,085 * And died of the toothache in his heel. * 396 00:16:11,153 --> 00:16:12,987 You don't get a beatin' like this traveling by plane. 397 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,255 Ow! 398 00:16:14,323 --> 00:16:17,125 I'm finally riding the Tinseltown Starliner. 399 00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:19,594 I could die a happy man. 400 00:16:26,533 --> 00:16:28,000 (grunts) 401 00:16:28,068 --> 00:16:29,234 (panting) 402 00:16:29,302 --> 00:16:31,136 (grunts) 403 00:16:33,072 --> 00:16:35,306 D'oh! 404 00:16:36,941 --> 00:16:38,308 Drink up, Abe. 405 00:16:38,375 --> 00:16:40,576 Live each moment as if someone's about to kill you. 406 00:16:40,643 --> 00:16:41,777 I mean, 407 00:16:41,844 --> 00:16:43,778 as if it's your last. 408 00:16:43,846 --> 00:16:46,013 Sorry, my hearing aid's on the fritz. 409 00:16:46,081 --> 00:16:48,749 The only word I heard was "kill." 410 00:16:48,817 --> 00:16:50,652 (Homer whimpering) 411 00:16:52,789 --> 00:16:54,491 Hey. Aah. 412 00:16:55,660 --> 00:16:56,760 Look at that. 413 00:16:56,828 --> 00:16:58,929 They've recreated the '30s. 414 00:16:58,996 --> 00:17:01,564 Tent cities, failing banks. 415 00:17:01,631 --> 00:17:02,865 No, those are real. 416 00:17:02,932 --> 00:17:04,466 (mutters) 417 00:17:04,534 --> 00:17:06,268 (whimpering) 418 00:17:06,336 --> 00:17:07,836 Oh! 419 00:17:07,904 --> 00:17:09,504 HOMER: Beware of Marshall Goldman! 420 00:17:09,572 --> 00:17:11,072 What was that? 421 00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:13,308 Um, an elephant on a circus train 422 00:17:13,375 --> 00:17:14,709 bellowing for his mother. 423 00:17:14,777 --> 00:17:17,312 Oh, I remember the first time 424 00:17:17,379 --> 00:17:20,247 an elephant tried to eat me like a peanut. 425 00:17:20,315 --> 00:17:23,317 I was on the set of a Warner Brothers cartoon. 426 00:17:23,385 --> 00:17:25,219 Jack Warner came by and said... 427 00:17:25,287 --> 00:17:28,154 (whimpering) 428 00:17:28,222 --> 00:17:29,956 Hey, Slimu! 429 00:17:30,023 --> 00:17:31,223 (yelling) 430 00:17:31,291 --> 00:17:33,960 Huh? 431 00:17:34,028 --> 00:17:35,295 (laughs) 432 00:17:35,362 --> 00:17:37,430 Yeah, you'd better run! 433 00:17:37,498 --> 00:17:38,730 (loud mewing) (gasps) 434 00:17:38,798 --> 00:17:40,032 Sewer cats! 435 00:17:40,099 --> 00:17:41,133 (yells) 436 00:17:41,201 --> 00:17:43,667 (whimpering) 437 00:17:43,734 --> 00:17:45,001 Larry?! 438 00:17:45,069 --> 00:17:46,302 (grunting) 439 00:17:46,370 --> 00:17:47,470 (yowling) 440 00:17:47,537 --> 00:17:49,205 Larry, you saved my life! 441 00:17:49,273 --> 00:17:51,707 You're the most wonderful stuffed lamb in the world. 442 00:17:51,775 --> 00:17:53,041 I'm sorry about the mean things I said, 443 00:17:53,109 --> 00:17:54,976 and we'll have the rest of the weekend to... 444 00:17:55,044 --> 00:17:56,744 Whoa! 445 00:17:56,812 --> 00:17:58,179 (grunts) 446 00:17:58,247 --> 00:17:59,780 Huh? 447 00:17:59,848 --> 00:18:01,482 Larry! 448 00:18:01,550 --> 00:18:02,683 (sobbing) 449 00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:04,651 Man, everybody loves this guy. 450 00:18:04,718 --> 00:18:05,718 Give him my number. 451 00:18:05,786 --> 00:18:06,986 I'll teach him things. 452 00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:08,921 Things he can use. 453 00:18:08,989 --> 00:18:12,090 (train whistle blows) 454 00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:14,192 The older I get, 455 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:17,027 the more I like the taste of hot water. 456 00:18:17,095 --> 00:18:18,662 (snoring) 457 00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:21,231 (to "Here Comes the Bride") * Here comes the prize * 458 00:18:21,299 --> 00:18:22,933 * Pulitzer Prize * 459 00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:26,303 * I'll finally be successful in my mother's eyes. * 460 00:18:28,004 --> 00:18:29,070 A little ler... 461 00:18:29,138 --> 00:18:30,271 little lower. 462 00:18:30,339 --> 00:18:32,574 Drop that pillow! 463 00:18:33,843 --> 00:18:34,342 (yells) 464 00:18:34,410 --> 00:18:37,044 It gets worse. 465 00:18:37,112 --> 00:18:38,645 Ow! Yeah. 466 00:18:38,713 --> 00:18:40,280 (grunts) 467 00:18:40,348 --> 00:18:42,415 See you tomorrow at yoga. 468 00:18:42,483 --> 00:18:44,083 Jane is sick, so Tricia's filling in. 469 00:18:44,151 --> 00:18:46,518 As long as it's not a du! 470 00:18:46,586 --> 00:18:48,921 (both grunting) 471 00:18:52,025 --> 00:18:53,658 (choking) 472 00:18:55,728 --> 00:18:58,262 How can you stand up to this punishment? 473 00:18:58,329 --> 00:19:00,896 I'm the toughest S.O.B. there is-- 474 00:19:00,964 --> 00:19:03,898 a biweekly human interest columnist. 475 00:19:03,966 --> 00:19:06,733 And your father's gonna make me a fortune. 476 00:19:06,801 --> 00:19:08,801 Pathetic old fool. 477 00:19:08,869 --> 00:19:11,603 Maybe so, but I know how to play possum. 478 00:19:11,671 --> 00:19:12,771 (grunts) Um... 479 00:19:12,839 --> 00:19:13,839 (laughs) 480 00:19:16,909 --> 00:19:18,009 (brakes squealing) 481 00:19:18,077 --> 00:19:20,078 (groans) 482 00:19:20,145 --> 00:19:23,046 So many hat boxes. 483 00:19:25,183 --> 00:19:27,017 Dad, I don't have the right words 484 00:19:27,085 --> 00:19:29,152 to say how I really feel about you, 485 00:19:29,220 --> 00:19:32,586 but at least I know how to beat up a guy who does. 486 00:19:32,654 --> 00:19:35,689 Well, at least you never tried to kill me. 487 00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:37,824 Just with indifference. 488 00:19:39,126 --> 00:19:40,460 You did good, kid. 489 00:19:40,528 --> 00:19:42,562 This is for the shoeshine. 490 00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:43,863 It's a ghost quarter, 491 00:19:43,931 --> 00:19:45,531 but you'll be able to spend it pretty soon. 492 00:19:47,334 --> 00:19:49,902 So, Grampa, you really saved Dad's life? 493 00:19:49,970 --> 00:19:51,537 I sure did. 494 00:19:51,605 --> 00:19:54,173 But why don't we let Homer tell the story? 495 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,574 Really? Me? u mean it? 496 00:19:56,642 --> 00:19:59,510 I think you're ready for your first ramble. 497 00:19:59,578 --> 00:20:02,112 Oh, I've been waiting for this day for so long. 498 00:20:02,179 --> 00:20:04,514 The year is 1946. 499 00:20:04,582 --> 00:20:07,984 In a war-torn world, a single flower blooms. 500 00:20:08,052 --> 00:20:11,687 And that flower is an angry Japanese monster named Godzilla. 501 00:20:11,755 --> 00:20:13,121 How am I doing, Dad? 502 00:20:13,189 --> 00:20:15,656 I'm hanging on every word. 503 00:20:15,723 --> 00:20:18,124 Fortunately, there was one man who could help-- 504 00:20:18,192 --> 00:20:19,893 Colonel Tom Parker. 505 00:20:19,961 --> 00:20:22,529 The Colonel took this monster, cleaned him up 506 00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:24,397 and put him onstage under the name 507 00:20:24,465 --> 00:20:26,232 The Rolling Stones. 508 00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:27,933 The first concert was a sellout 509 00:20:28,001 --> 00:20:30,602 with many, many, many people eaten. 510 00:20:30,669 --> 00:20:34,539 But those that survived raved about the undeniable harmonies 511 00:20:34,607 --> 00:20:37,843 and brutally honest lyrics of what they had just seen. 512 00:20:37,911 --> 00:20:41,346 And that lasted for about five years. 513 00:20:41,414 --> 00:20:46,416 But then, Godzilla dropped out for a while to do movies, 514 00:20:46,484 --> 00:20:49,620 all of the awful movies we see now today 515 00:20:49,687 --> 00:20:52,256 in the driv e-ins that no longer exist. 516 00:20:54,792 --> 00:21:04,761 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 517 00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:25,417 Shh!