1
00:00:00,980 --> 00:00:02,780
You're watching The Simpsons.
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00:00:02,790 --> 00:00:05,790
You know your life sucks.
Just get drunk
like you always do.
3
00:00:05,790 --> 00:00:08,560
Catch all-new episodes Sundays
and check out
our other Fox programs...
4
00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:11,630
Brooklyn Nine-Nine,
Bob's Burgers and Family Guy.
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What is this,
and how can I make the rest
of my life about it?
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00:00:14,530 --> 00:00:15,760
Only on Fox.
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00:00:18,230 --> 00:00:19,230
LISA: Aah!
MARGE: Whoo!
8
00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:20,240
BART:
Wha...!
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00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:21,240
(Homer grunts)
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00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:22,240
D'oh!
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00:00:24,410 --> 00:00:25,680
D'oh!
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00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:26,750
(tires screeching)
13
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♪ I don't believe it
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♪ When you tell me
15
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♪ That it's all gone bad
16
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♪ It's true
17
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♪ To... you...
18
00:00:35,750 --> 00:00:36,750
Whoa!
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00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:37,810
(tires screech)
20
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(alarm sounding,
birds squawking)
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(alarm continues)
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(soft groaning, snoring)
Huh?
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Where's the snooze button?
24
00:00:52,740 --> 00:00:54,240
Ah, that's better.
25
00:00:55,870 --> 00:00:57,930
Hey, what?
I gotta get out of here!
26
00:00:57,940 --> 00:00:59,440
(alarm blaring)
It's... (yawns)
27
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After just five more minutes.
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(yawns)
29
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(alarm blaring)
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(laughing):
Oh... Marge...
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On a Tuesday?
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DR. HIBBERT:
Yet again,
33
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Homer will be fine.
34
00:01:18,790 --> 00:01:21,290
Mm. He's been sleeping
an awful lot.
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Look at these vacation photos.
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DR. HIBBERT: Oh, my!
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00:01:25,540 --> 00:01:27,200
(chuckling)
38
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Man, you people sure
take a lot of vacations.
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MARGE: That's just to remind me
where I parked.
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Hmm. I think I have an idea
of what might be going on.
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(gasps)
Huh? What?
42
00:01:37,410 --> 00:01:39,540
First, you're gonna
need a spinal tap.
43
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Please be the band.
Please be the band.
44
00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:43,220
Oh!
45
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Aren't you supposed
to give him anesthetic?
46
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Oh, I knew I forgot something.
47
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(screaming): Ow!
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(printer whirring)
49
00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,940
Oof. Very low levels
of hypocretin.
50
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I'm afraid Homer has...
narcolepsy.
51
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:04,130
Doctor, is it time
to pull the plug on my father?
52
00:02:04,140 --> 00:02:06,500
No, wait. I'll spare you
that painful decision.
53
00:02:06,510 --> 00:02:08,150
HOMER: No, Bart!
That's the TV!
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00:02:08,150 --> 00:02:09,750
Ha-ha!
That's the other guy.
55
00:02:09,750 --> 00:02:10,750
Stop that!
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00:02:10,750 --> 00:02:11,950
(laughs)
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Narcolepsy's merely
sleeping sickness,
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00:02:14,150 --> 00:02:15,980
and many narcoleptics
do lead normal lives
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00:02:15,990 --> 00:02:18,190
by avoiding stressful triggers
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00:02:18,190 --> 00:02:20,590
like, uh, oh, let's say...
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00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:22,430
Helping with the laundry?
Exactly.
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Having to pay my doctor's bill?
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Don't play with me, man.
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I will mess you up.
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Here's a signed certification
of your condition.
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This is a bona fide
medical excuse
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from doing anything
you find taxing.
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But you only use that
69
00:02:36,810 --> 00:02:39,440
when absolutely necessary,
right, Homie?
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Marge, please!
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I'll probably never use it.
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Dad, can you drive me
to Milhouse's?
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Narcolepsy.
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There's a spider in my room!
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00:02:47,790 --> 00:02:49,110
Narcolepsy.
76
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:51,360
Dr. Hibbert called in a
prescription for you to pick up.
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00:02:51,350 --> 00:02:52,350
Narcolepsy.
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00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,390
Yes, for narcolepsy,
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which you should get now.
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You can't spend
half your life napping.
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00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,470
Maggie does, and you
think she's adorable.
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Yes, because babies
are always cute.
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(snoring)
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(coughing)
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(sniffs) Oh, that baby
needs a diaper change.
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Nar-co-lep-sy.
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(groans)
88
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Homie, you have no idea
what it's like
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00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:18,470
being married to you.
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Me being married to me, eh?
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("Bridal Chorus" playing)
92
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HOMER:
Stop the wedding!
93
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What about our child?
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(baby whimpers)
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(dog barks)
96
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Don't forget me.
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Now I've seen everything.
98
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A window that talks?!
99
00:03:41,270 --> 00:03:44,240
Okay, can you explain again
how I take this medication?
100
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:45,530
One a day with food.
101
00:03:45,540 --> 00:03:48,270
Yeah, but what kind
of food, girly?
102
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Stuffed cabbage,
a nice bowl of soup?
103
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(sighs) Any idea
when you'll get to me?
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00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:55,540
Well, there's four
old people ahead of you,
105
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so how's Thursday at 1:00?
106
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Oh, you know it's funny
that you should say one,
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'cause that's how many
grandchildren that I have.
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I'm gonna have grandchildren
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00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:06,100
by the time I get
through this line.
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Oh, that's so nice.
Isn't that interesting?
111
00:04:07,370 --> 00:04:08,460
Oh, well, congratulations.
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(giggles)
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Narcolepsy, take me away!
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Oh! (grunts)
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(groans)
(toy squeaks)
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(sniffing)
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I smell beer.
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Did you go to Moe's?
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Every time I have beer
on my breath,
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you assume I've been drinking.
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(groans loudly)
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Oh, that's a long one.
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Did you at least get
the medicine?
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I tried, and I failed.
Miserably.
125
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But I'm willing to work
this out in counseling.
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(groans) We've been
to every counselor
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from Avery to Zabinsky.
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But not Zilowitz.
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00:04:44,330 --> 00:04:47,330
HOMER: And that's why
there'll never be
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00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:50,240
another golfer as good
as Chi-Chi Rodríguez.
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The name and the game,
he had it all.
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Okay, I think we got
a little off-track here.
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I know this marriage
isn't perfect,
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or even great,
but now I treasure the moments
135
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where it's just so-so.
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(snoring)
I'd kill for "okay."
137
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Please, please,
just tell me what to do.
138
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I've never said this...
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And I don't even know
if I'm supposed to say this...
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But this marriage is rotting
with the stench of death.
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Oh, that seems a little strong.
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How about reeking like
a trashcan in a dog park?
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Does my marriage have to be
something you can smell?
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(snoring)
145
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You see, Marge? You see?
146
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The only way you and Homer
will ever be happy
147
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is to spend a little time apart,
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followed by more time apart,
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followed by a divorce.
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What?!
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00:05:37,490 --> 00:05:38,960
What is... What,
what's going on?
152
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Wait, no, no, no, I remember.
153
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Happy anniversary.
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Homer, Homer, listen to me.
155
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There's just so much I can take.
156
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No, we can save this.
157
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We'll go to a therapist.
158
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We're at a therapist!
159
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How you doin'?
160
00:05:52,470 --> 00:05:55,370
What's going on here?
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00:05:55,370 --> 00:05:57,470
(sobbing)
162
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Nothing.
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Everything's fine.
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See? (sobbing continues)
165
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I'll love you forever.
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Kids, a professional felt
167
00:06:06,050 --> 00:06:07,750
the best way
for your father and me
168
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to work on our relationship
169
00:06:09,420 --> 00:06:11,090
was to give up on it.
170
00:06:11,090 --> 00:06:13,590
But after a while,
Dad's coming back?
171
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:14,660
Oh, yeah, of course.
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Maybe not.
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Oh, Marge,
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after all my divorce-worthy
statements and actions,
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many of which
you don't know about,
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how can you kick me out
now that I'm sick?
177
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Narcolepsy is a serious thing.
178
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:30,480
Maybe because you didn't take it
seriously enough.
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I pity you!
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00:06:36,610 --> 00:06:38,870
(Homer sobbing)
181
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:40,240
(Homer wailing)
182
00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:42,620
(crying):
Why is Daddy going away?
183
00:06:42,620 --> 00:06:44,290
Is it my fault?
184
00:06:44,290 --> 00:06:45,460
(crying stops)
Just kidding.
185
00:06:45,460 --> 00:06:47,090
I have been waiting for this.
186
00:06:47,090 --> 00:06:49,560
All my problems
are my parents' fault!
187
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,695
Mr. Flanders,
can I cry on your shoulder?
188
00:06:51,696 --> 00:06:53,120
Boys, get my tear dickey.
189
00:06:53,130 --> 00:06:54,500
BOTH: Yay!
190
00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:01,130
(snoring)
(alarm beeping)
191
00:07:01,140 --> 00:07:03,140
Five more minutes.
192
00:07:03,140 --> 00:07:05,140
(snoring resumes)
193
00:07:05,140 --> 00:07:07,270
Poor guy, living at the plant.
194
00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:08,780
And yet he's still late.
195
00:07:10,550 --> 00:07:12,280
(crickets chirping)
196
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♪
197
00:07:17,590 --> 00:07:19,660
(crow cawing)
198
00:07:28,130 --> 00:07:31,140
Smithers, come up
through my rear and grab me.
199
00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:33,200
Yes, sir.
200
00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:46,750
(humming)
201
00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:48,350
(blow dryer whirrs, stops)
202
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,280
(humming happily)
203
00:07:51,290 --> 00:07:52,660
I don't get it, Homer.
204
00:07:52,660 --> 00:07:54,760
You and your wife may
be calling it quits.
205
00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:55,860
How can you be happy?
206
00:07:55,860 --> 00:07:59,300
Oh, you guys missed
a very sad montage,
207
00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:02,370
but then I remembered that
after every fight we ever had,
208
00:08:02,370 --> 00:08:04,530
Marge takes me back.
209
00:08:04,530 --> 00:08:06,330
I wouldn't be so cocky, Homer.
210
00:08:06,340 --> 00:08:07,940
Marge has changed
her relationship status
211
00:08:07,940 --> 00:08:09,770
to "It's complicated."
212
00:08:09,770 --> 00:08:11,330
(whistles)
Not good.
213
00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:13,340
Complicated?
What's complicated?
214
00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:15,540
We're not together,
but we're not legally apart,
215
00:08:15,550 --> 00:08:18,015
and I have to fight for
the right to see the children
216
00:08:18,016 --> 00:08:19,510
I spent my life avoiding.
217
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,520
What's complicated about that?
218
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:24,520
Simpson, where are your shoes?
219
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:26,720
Narcolepsy.
Oh, sorry, sorry.
220
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:28,120
Now, to prove
everything is fine,
221
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,720
I'm just going
to give Marge a call.
222
00:08:30,730 --> 00:08:33,730
MARGE: Hello, you've reached
the voicemail for Marge Bouvier.
223
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:34,700
(beeps)
224
00:08:34,700 --> 00:08:35,730
Oh, my God.
225
00:08:35,730 --> 00:08:37,160
She switched to her maiden name.
226
00:08:37,170 --> 00:08:38,570
She must be serious.
227
00:08:38,570 --> 00:08:40,640
She's gonna have to
order new checks.
228
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,880
♪ ...fight, The Itchy
& Scratchy Show! ♪
229
00:08:50,550 --> 00:08:52,580
(doorbell rings)
230
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:55,220
Eh? Mm!
231
00:08:58,150 --> 00:08:59,780
(cackling)
232
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:02,650
Use a coaster.
233
00:09:05,690 --> 00:09:07,860
Oh, the pigeon sisters!
234
00:09:07,860 --> 00:09:09,120
(Pigeon Sisters cooing)
235
00:09:12,030 --> 00:09:14,860
Wish my head was filled
with guacamole.
236
00:09:14,870 --> 00:09:16,700
Now, on the bright side, Homer,
237
00:09:16,710 --> 00:09:19,440
guys get in much better shape
when they get divorced.
238
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,400
Not me.
I will not become a cliché.
239
00:09:22,410 --> 00:09:23,670
Well, consider yourself lucky.
240
00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:25,720
Most guys never
even get a chance
241
00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,685
to lose an amazing
woman like Marge.
242
00:09:27,686 --> 00:09:29,010
If Marge is in play,
243
00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:30,450
I'm cleaning up.
244
00:09:30,450 --> 00:09:32,610
♪ Got a date with an angel
245
00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:35,520
♪ Got to meet her at 7:00.
246
00:09:35,530 --> 00:09:36,790
(belches)
247
00:09:36,790 --> 00:09:38,620
Hey, guys, knock it off, huh?
248
00:09:38,630 --> 00:09:41,860
I'm sure Homer and Midge just
need to talk things out there.
249
00:09:41,860 --> 00:09:42,790
(phone rings)
250
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:44,700
And there she is now.
251
00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:46,460
Hello, baby.
252
00:09:46,470 --> 00:09:49,640
Y... Oh, it's the pharmacy.
253
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:53,310
They want me to pick up
my prescription. (sighs)
254
00:09:53,310 --> 00:09:54,880
Well, that man just won
255
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,280
the Saddest Man
in the Bar competition.
256
00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:59,780
I was so damn close!
257
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:05,720
Whoa, nice fill.
258
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:09,650
You've got amphetamines,
anticataplectics and GHB,
259
00:10:09,660 --> 00:10:12,730
also known as Georgia Homeboy
or Liquid Ecstasy.
260
00:10:12,730 --> 00:10:14,665
Do not take these with alcohol.
261
00:10:14,666 --> 00:10:16,830
What if I've already
been drinking,
262
00:10:16,830 --> 00:10:18,090
and I don't plan to stop?
263
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:19,460
Are you asking me out?
264
00:10:19,470 --> 00:10:20,800
I mean, you're not,
265
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,660
but it seems like
you'd be fun to hang with,
266
00:10:22,670 --> 00:10:24,470
and I'm pretty fascinating
myself; I'm an author.
267
00:10:24,470 --> 00:10:26,230
I thought you worked
in a drugstore?
268
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,270
Tennessee Williams worked
in a shoe factory.
269
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:30,480
Boy, you're pretty
fast with that fact.
270
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:31,815
You want to go out or not?
271
00:10:31,816 --> 00:10:33,910
Well, I don't know
what you see in me.
272
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,090
I'm just a lonely guy
with a bag full of drugs.
273
00:10:37,020 --> 00:10:38,860
Huh! Come with moi.
274
00:10:38,860 --> 00:10:40,860
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
275
00:10:40,860 --> 00:10:42,830
You're moving way
too fast for me.
276
00:10:42,830 --> 00:10:44,495
I get that a lot.
(sighs)
277
00:10:44,496 --> 00:10:45,850
No, what I'm saying is
278
00:10:45,860 --> 00:10:49,090
you're walking faster
than I can walk.
279
00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:50,930
How fast can you go?
280
00:10:50,930 --> 00:10:54,760
Pretend you're walking
a very slow old dog.
281
00:10:55,940 --> 00:10:57,740
(both growling, barking)
282
00:10:59,940 --> 00:11:02,000
(rock music playing)
283
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,180
No autographs.
284
00:11:07,180 --> 00:11:08,980
I just need you
to sign your bill.
285
00:11:08,990 --> 00:11:10,690
The monkey made the reservation.
286
00:11:10,690 --> 00:11:12,760
He pays.
287
00:11:14,190 --> 00:11:16,700
I think it's cool
how you owned your own baldness
288
00:11:16,700 --> 00:11:18,120
by shaving your head.
289
00:11:18,130 --> 00:11:20,800
Well, I saw a picture of
Jeffrey Katzenberg once,
290
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,700
and said,
"Yes, that's for me."
291
00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:24,870
Okay, listen,
I'm just floating this,
292
00:11:24,870 --> 00:11:26,570
but have you ever thought
293
00:11:26,570 --> 00:11:28,710
that it might be a good thing
Marge dumped you?
294
00:11:28,710 --> 00:11:29,910
What are you saying?
295
00:11:29,910 --> 00:11:31,875
You guys were so young
when you met.
296
00:11:31,876 --> 00:11:33,700
She was your first girlfriend.
297
00:11:33,710 --> 00:11:35,580
I've dated more girls than you,
298
00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:37,750
but now you're free
to try something new.
299
00:11:37,750 --> 00:11:39,380
Uh...
300
00:11:39,380 --> 00:11:40,880
it's... getting late.
301
00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:41,910
I should go.
302
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,820
The donut shop will be...
303
00:11:43,820 --> 00:11:46,860
throwing out their...
304
00:11:46,860 --> 00:11:49,090
unsold donuts.
305
00:11:49,090 --> 00:11:52,650
You can buy them... cheap.
306
00:11:52,660 --> 00:11:54,960
Don't you want
to finish your drink?
307
00:11:56,770 --> 00:11:59,400
Eh, you're the pharmacist.
308
00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:01,840
Whoa...
309
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:04,370
♪ Big city
310
00:12:04,370 --> 00:12:06,230
♪ Bright lights
311
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:10,870
♪ Cool, cool people
312
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:14,490
♪ Big city...
313
00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:42,440
♪
314
00:12:42,450 --> 00:12:44,720
(Homer laughing, heads laughing)
315
00:12:46,820 --> 00:12:48,450
(Patty and Selma chuckle)
316
00:12:48,450 --> 00:12:50,040
(gagging)
317
00:12:51,220 --> 00:12:53,490
(grunting)
318
00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,590
♪
319
00:12:57,590 --> 00:12:58,650
Mm!
320
00:13:00,660 --> 00:13:03,060
(laughing groggily)
321
00:13:03,070 --> 00:13:04,140
Hey...
322
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:06,900
What? Candles?
323
00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:08,230
Clean sheets.
324
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:10,180
Did I pass out
at Urban Outfitters?
325
00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:11,970
Oh, God! Oh, God!
326
00:13:11,970 --> 00:13:14,940
I've just committed
the one drunken mistake
327
00:13:14,940 --> 00:13:16,810
I've never made.
328
00:13:16,810 --> 00:13:18,070
Well, Bart.
329
00:13:22,620 --> 00:13:24,020
Oh, my God, oh,
my God, oh, my God.
330
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:24,920
What am I gonna tell Marge?
331
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,250
(gasps)
Don't move!
332
00:13:26,260 --> 00:13:28,090
There's a snake on your butt.
333
00:13:28,090 --> 00:13:29,330
That's a tattoo.
334
00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:31,860
Why would you do
that to your body?
335
00:13:31,860 --> 00:13:33,290
I thought you had one, too.
336
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:35,470
Those are stretch
marks, young lady.
337
00:13:35,470 --> 00:13:37,460
I've had three children.
338
00:13:37,470 --> 00:13:39,040
I got to call my wife.
339
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,040
I thought you guys
were separated.
340
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,040
I'm the kind of man who
never gives up hope.
341
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:44,675
I own property in Detroit,
342
00:13:44,676 --> 00:13:47,340
every Christmas I ask
for size 36 pants,
343
00:13:47,340 --> 00:13:49,870
and I still buy Beanie Babies.
344
00:13:51,050 --> 00:13:52,650
(phone beeps, line rings)
345
00:13:52,650 --> 00:13:54,050
Hello, Homer.
346
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:55,950
Marge is getting ready
for a date.
347
00:13:55,950 --> 00:13:57,980
Marge? On a date?
348
00:13:57,990 --> 00:13:59,860
Yep, but I'll make you a deal.
349
00:13:59,860 --> 00:14:01,890
I will try to save your marriage
350
00:14:01,890 --> 00:14:04,020
if you can guess which one I am.
351
00:14:04,030 --> 00:14:05,660
Patty?
Wrong!
352
00:14:05,660 --> 00:14:06,890
(dial tone)
353
00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:08,300
(sobbing)
354
00:14:09,870 --> 00:14:12,870
I'm gonna get one, two, three,
four, five scones.
355
00:14:12,870 --> 00:14:13,905
You guys want anything?
356
00:14:13,906 --> 00:14:15,030
We're fine.
No, thanks.
357
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,040
We're all right.
358
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,240
Candice, what is his deal?
359
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,500
(gasps)
Is he paying your rent?
No.
360
00:14:20,510 --> 00:14:22,880
Is he giving a kidney
to your mother?
No.
361
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,080
Is he good at sitting on
suitcases that are too full?
362
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:26,910
Yes, but no.
363
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,190
Is he your guest
at a dinner for schmucks?
No.
364
00:14:29,190 --> 00:14:31,890
(gasps) Are you a
Humpty Dumpty catcher?
365
00:14:31,890 --> 00:14:33,090
Be honest.
366
00:14:33,090 --> 00:14:34,690
All no.
367
00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:37,160
Does her remind you
of a childhood snowman?
368
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,200
Yes, that's it!
369
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,000
And the great thing is
he will never melt.
370
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,100
Man, I would love to get back
into snowman shape.
371
00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:47,430
I can't even fit
in my scarf anymore.
372
00:14:48,370 --> 00:14:50,570
Whoa, this is serious.
373
00:14:50,570 --> 00:14:52,370
Complimentary tattoos.
374
00:14:52,380 --> 00:14:55,345
Yeah, I've always been looking
for the very special lady
375
00:14:55,346 --> 00:14:56,940
who would match up with this.
376
00:14:58,110 --> 00:14:59,570
(whinnying)
377
00:14:59,580 --> 00:15:00,710
All right, very funny.
378
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:02,020
You two celebrating or what?
379
00:15:02,020 --> 00:15:03,750
Two Scorpinos, Moe.
380
00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:05,110
Scorpinos, you got it.
381
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:07,180
And those are served in, uh...
382
00:15:07,190 --> 00:15:08,390
Champagne flute.
383
00:15:08,390 --> 00:15:09,920
Champagne flute, got it.
384
00:15:09,930 --> 00:15:11,730
And that is a...
385
00:15:11,730 --> 00:15:14,730
Glass! A clean glass.
386
00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:17,030
Ah, coming right up there,
Your Highness.
387
00:15:17,030 --> 00:15:18,030
Nut case.
388
00:15:18,030 --> 00:15:20,090
(engine revs, tires squeal)
389
00:15:24,570 --> 00:15:26,870
Wow, Homer,
you really stuck the landing
390
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:28,380
after your separation.
391
00:15:28,380 --> 00:15:30,580
Yeah, it's great.
392
00:15:30,580 --> 00:15:32,820
Except her friends
are always over.
393
00:15:32,820 --> 00:15:37,220
I've been there for three weeks,
and I can't find the TV.
394
00:15:37,220 --> 00:15:38,620
And no one has any problems,
395
00:15:38,620 --> 00:15:40,580
except they talk
about them endlessly.
396
00:15:40,590 --> 00:15:42,160
Kind of like you're doing now?
397
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,390
And the weirdest thing of all is
398
00:15:44,390 --> 00:15:46,420
now she wants me
to meet her dad.
399
00:15:46,430 --> 00:15:48,330
Wow, who pays for that dinner?
400
00:15:48,330 --> 00:15:50,120
I plan to pretend
there's a bug in my food
401
00:15:50,130 --> 00:15:51,560
and get the meal for free.
402
00:15:51,570 --> 00:15:52,840
Smooth.
403
00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:55,340
H-Hello, sir.
404
00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:57,410
Thank you for inviting me
to dinner, sir.
405
00:15:57,410 --> 00:15:59,010
Homer, relax.
406
00:15:59,010 --> 00:16:00,580
I have no problem
with the age difference
407
00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:02,350
between you and my daughter.
408
00:16:02,350 --> 00:16:05,020
In fact, I've been dating a
much younger woman myself.
409
00:16:05,020 --> 00:16:06,810
Oh, here she comes now.
410
00:16:06,820 --> 00:16:09,190
(humming happily)
411
00:16:09,190 --> 00:16:10,660
(gasping)
412
00:16:11,820 --> 00:16:14,190
Okay, okay,
we can be adults about this.
413
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:16,260
Waiter, champagne?
414
00:16:18,630 --> 00:16:21,030
(sputtering)
415
00:16:26,870 --> 00:16:28,370
So I can't date an older man,
416
00:16:28,370 --> 00:16:30,200
but your girlfriend can?
417
00:16:30,210 --> 00:16:32,210
She's not my girlfriend.
418
00:16:32,210 --> 00:16:34,440
Candice and I don't use labels.
419
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:37,610
Mm, doesn't look like she uses
that much shampoo, either.
420
00:16:37,610 --> 00:16:39,010
Lay off my girlfriend!
421
00:16:39,020 --> 00:16:41,120
Roger is great with the kids.
422
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,020
He even taught Bart how to bunt.
423
00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:44,950
Oh, so now you're super dad?
424
00:16:44,950 --> 00:16:46,810
When I was a kid,
you were never around.
425
00:16:46,820 --> 00:16:48,280
You missed my high school play.
426
00:16:48,290 --> 00:16:50,130
You told me not to come.
427
00:16:50,130 --> 00:16:52,230
You're supposed
to fight me on that!
428
00:16:52,230 --> 00:16:53,230
Well, Marge,
429
00:16:53,230 --> 00:16:56,030
your Roger's not so perfect now.
430
00:16:56,030 --> 00:16:59,460
He's got a screwed up daughter
with a pathetic boyfriend.
431
00:16:59,470 --> 00:17:01,400
Candice, dear, I apologize.
432
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:04,130
I'm trying so hard
to set my life right.
433
00:17:04,140 --> 00:17:06,040
Oh, speaking of which.
434
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,200
Marge, I am going to do
something I should've done
435
00:17:08,210 --> 00:17:10,080
three weeks ago when I met you.
436
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:11,420
Will you marry me, Marge?
437
00:17:11,420 --> 00:17:12,510
Yes.
438
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:14,650
As soon as my divorce is final.
439
00:17:14,650 --> 00:17:17,255
Then you can put a ring
on my finger, Homer.
440
00:17:17,256 --> 00:17:18,650
I'm already pregnant.
441
00:17:18,650 --> 00:17:19,880
You're pregnant?!
442
00:17:19,890 --> 00:17:21,660
But I kept my shirt on!
443
00:17:21,660 --> 00:17:23,490
(echoing):
No!
444
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:25,900
(snoring)
445
00:17:25,900 --> 00:17:27,760
Huh?
What am I doing here?
446
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,160
Sleeping through
our therapy session.
447
00:17:30,170 --> 00:17:33,370
Dreaming only about you.
448
00:17:33,370 --> 00:17:34,940
So none of it happened?
449
00:17:34,940 --> 00:17:36,170
We're still together?
450
00:17:36,170 --> 00:17:38,200
Somehow.
Whoo-hoo!
451
00:17:38,210 --> 00:17:41,180
And you thought our only
option was to break up.
452
00:17:41,180 --> 00:17:42,910
I never said that.
453
00:17:42,910 --> 00:17:44,740
If I told people
that didn't belong together
454
00:17:44,750 --> 00:17:47,720
they shouldn't be together,
I'd be out of a job.
455
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,750
Huh, I must have
dreamed that, too.
456
00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:52,750
Okay, why don't you tell us more
about this dream?
457
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:54,590
All you need to know
about my dream
458
00:17:54,590 --> 00:17:58,130
is that Marge and I have been
completely turned around by it,
459
00:17:58,130 --> 00:17:59,930
and like Scrooge,
I will demonstrate
460
00:17:59,930 --> 00:18:01,600
I have learned my lesson
461
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,300
by making a boy run to the store
462
00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:05,370
and buy me a goose.
463
00:18:05,370 --> 00:18:08,105
I think you're going to have
to do a little more, Homer.
464
00:18:08,106 --> 00:18:10,470
Oh, I'll do a lot more
than a little more!
465
00:18:10,470 --> 00:18:12,570
I'll do some.
466
00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:14,545
If you could just be good
for a month,
467
00:18:14,546 --> 00:18:16,570
that would really
show me something.
468
00:18:16,580 --> 00:18:18,150
Absolutely.
469
00:18:18,150 --> 00:18:20,250
Can the month be February?
470
00:18:20,250 --> 00:18:21,220
Okay, March.
471
00:18:21,220 --> 00:18:22,490
(groans)
472
00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:25,750
You did it, Homie!
473
00:18:25,750 --> 00:18:27,820
And what a March it was.
474
00:18:27,820 --> 00:18:29,220
A beautiful Easter,
475
00:18:29,230 --> 00:18:31,490
a sober St. Patrick's Day,
476
00:18:31,490 --> 00:18:33,150
and impeccable behavior
477
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:36,220
watching the NCAA
basketball tournament.
478
00:18:36,230 --> 00:18:38,160
Mm-hmm!
479
00:18:38,170 --> 00:18:39,570
And with your love, Dad,
480
00:18:39,570 --> 00:18:42,040
I'm eating meat
and Maggie's talking.
481
00:18:43,170 --> 00:18:46,970
♪ I see trees of green
482
00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:49,450
♪ Red roses, too...
483
00:18:49,450 --> 00:18:51,350
What the...?
484
00:18:51,350 --> 00:18:53,350
MALE SINGER (rock beat):
♪ I see them bloom
485
00:18:53,350 --> 00:18:55,450
♪ For me and you
486
00:18:55,450 --> 00:18:57,410
♪ And I say to my...
487
00:18:57,420 --> 00:18:59,260
Aah! Huh? Huh? Huh?
488
00:18:59,260 --> 00:19:01,760
I got you one of those beers
you enjoy unironically.
489
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,790
This won a blue ribbon in 1890?
490
00:19:04,790 --> 00:19:06,420
What does that mean?
491
00:19:06,430 --> 00:19:08,330
Wait, so this is reality?
492
00:19:08,330 --> 00:19:10,300
That other dream
was just a dream?
493
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:14,200
Noooooooo!
494
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,200
But you forgot to pay!
495
00:19:16,210 --> 00:19:18,670
(distant):
Oh!
496
00:19:18,670 --> 00:19:19,730
(whimpering)
497
00:19:21,780 --> 00:19:22,850
(gasps)
498
00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:27,280
(sobbing)
499
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,380
I've lost everything.
500
00:19:29,390 --> 00:19:31,990
My wife, my family...
501
00:19:31,990 --> 00:19:33,020
(sobbing)
502
00:19:33,020 --> 00:19:34,780
You didn't lose me, Dad.
503
00:19:34,790 --> 00:19:36,490
(chuckles) Lisa?
504
00:19:36,490 --> 00:19:38,190
You can never lose me.
505
00:19:38,190 --> 00:19:39,550
We share the same blood,
506
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:42,320
the same mixed feelings
towards Bart,
507
00:19:42,330 --> 00:19:46,190
and you know I'll need support
in my teenage war with Mom.
508
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:49,000
(sobbing, laughing):
Oh, Lisa...
509
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,400
(both laughing)
510
00:19:50,410 --> 00:19:51,410
Oh, Dad.
511
00:19:51,410 --> 00:19:53,410
Dad!
512
00:19:53,410 --> 00:19:54,680
Aw, sweetie...
Nothing could ever
come between us.
513
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,880
We'll be together forever.
514
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,380
ROGER:
Lisa, where are you, dear?
515
00:19:58,380 --> 00:20:00,420
I thought we'd get in
a game of chess
516
00:20:00,420 --> 00:20:02,050
before we go pony shopping.
517
00:20:02,050 --> 00:20:03,710
Gotta go.
518
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:04,920
Lisa!
519
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:06,320
I'll Skype you at Christmas!
520
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,920
(echoing):
Noooo!
521
00:20:11,590 --> 00:20:14,420
(Homer snoring)
522
00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:16,670
Huh, so it was all my dream.
523
00:20:16,670 --> 00:20:19,500
I better find out
what this all means.
524
00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:21,700
It means,
like all married women,
525
00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:23,860
sometimes you're sick
of your husband,
526
00:20:23,870 --> 00:20:26,270
but sometimes you're afraid
of losing him.
527
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,240
And like all married men,
528
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:29,900
I didn't hear that first thing,
529
00:20:29,910 --> 00:20:32,670
and I'm overconfident
of the second.
530
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,440
So what do we do?
531
00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:37,290
I need some kind of guidance
to take away from all of this.
532
00:20:37,290 --> 00:20:40,120
Put your finger on it
so I can tie it in a bow.
533
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:41,280
Please?
534
00:20:41,290 --> 00:20:43,190
Well, one thing
we therapists can give
535
00:20:43,190 --> 00:20:45,520
is concise, simple solutions,
536
00:20:45,530 --> 00:20:46,700
and yours is...
537
00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:49,770
Hannah, what does that one mean?
538
00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:52,700
It means don't get
drunk in Brooklyn.
539
00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:58,300
♪ I see babies cry
540
00:20:58,310 --> 00:21:01,210
♪ I watch them grow
541
00:21:01,210 --> 00:21:03,910
♪ They'll learn much more
542
00:21:03,910 --> 00:21:06,110
♪ Than I'll ever know
543
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:10,090
♪ And I think to myself
544
00:21:10,090 --> 00:21:14,630
♪ What a wonderful world
545
00:21:17,390 --> 00:21:21,560
♪ Yes, I think to myself
546
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:24,960
♪ What a wonderful world
547
00:21:24,970 --> 00:21:27,470
♪ A wonderful, wonderful...
548
00:21:27,470 --> 00:21:30,510
♪ A wonderful, wonderful
world ♪
549
00:21:30,510 --> 00:21:34,140
♪ A wonderful, wonderful
550
00:21:34,140 --> 00:21:36,340
♪ Wonderful world!
551
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:40,220
Shh!
552
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:45,760
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
553
00:21:47,860 --> 00:21:49,760
You've just watched
The Simpsons.
554
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,560
Now here are a few more shows
to check out from Fox.
555
00:21:53,860 --> 00:21:55,860
The ultimate single guy...
556
00:21:55,860 --> 00:21:57,260
How's it feel
to be the prettiest girl
in the room?
557
00:21:57,270 --> 00:21:58,770
- is going
from mac daddy...
- Jimmy!
558
00:21:58,770 --> 00:22:00,370
- To new daddy...
- I'm your son.
559
00:22:00,370 --> 00:22:02,940
- to granddaddy.
- This is Edie,
your granddaughter.
560
00:22:02,940 --> 00:22:05,210
[ Whispers ]
Congratulations.
561
00:22:05,210 --> 00:22:07,550
We have a son?
How could you do this to me?
562
00:22:07,550 --> 00:22:09,700
Have you met you?
563
00:22:09,710 --> 00:22:12,370
The only thing that you ever
cared about was your career
and your sex life.
564
00:22:12,380 --> 00:22:14,540
- Speaking of which, girlfriend?
- Employee. Lesbian.
565
00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:16,150
- Smart.
- Job requirement.
566
00:22:16,150 --> 00:22:17,980
- Get back in the car.
- John Stamos.
567
00:22:17,990 --> 00:22:19,990
Josh Peck. Paget Brewster.
568
00:22:19,990 --> 00:22:23,590
Grandfathered.
Premieres Tuesday,
September 29 on Fox.
569
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,800
Dean is an actor
who played a lawyer on TV.
570
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,900
- Don't settle!
- His brother is a lawyer
in real life.
571
00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:33,800
- It seem truthful to you guys?
- It felt as real as...
as all the other ones.
572
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,000
But now...
I should be a lawyer
for real.
573
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,870
- This is a terrible idea.
- show business...
574
00:22:37,870 --> 00:22:40,400
- Are you Grinder?
- Once upon a time.
575
00:22:40,410 --> 00:22:42,480
What are you looking at?
What's up there?
576
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:43,710
Meets the family business.
577
00:22:43,710 --> 00:22:45,340
We're all a team,
working together,
578
00:22:45,350 --> 00:22:47,690
fighting for the people,
because that's the oath
we took.
579
00:22:47,690 --> 00:22:49,740
Th-That's not an oath
that anybody takes.
Whoo!
580
00:22:49,750 --> 00:22:51,580
Rob Lowe is The Grinder.
581
00:22:51,590 --> 00:22:54,660
Premieres Tuesday,
September 29 on Fox.
582
00:22:56,060 --> 00:22:59,500
Even the last man on Earth
deserves a second chance...
583
00:22:59,500 --> 00:23:00,930
(tires squealing)
(woman screams)
Bill!
584
00:23:00,930 --> 00:23:02,260
To mess things up.
585
00:23:02,260 --> 00:23:05,930
Sorry, little traffic.
WOMAN:
Hardy har har.
586
00:23:05,930 --> 00:23:08,500
ANNOUNCER:
"Kristen Schaal
is a comic life force."
587
00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:11,200
Jackie O, no, you didn't.
588
00:23:11,210 --> 00:23:15,040
- And Will Forte is "excellent."
- Bingo.
589
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:18,670
It's the return of the
"ridiculously entertaining
breakout hit."
590
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:20,850
He's gonna be fine!
He just got the wind
knocked out of him!
591
00:23:20,850 --> 00:23:22,920
The Emmy-nominated
Last Man On Earth
592
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,790
returns this Sunday on Fox.
593
00:23:27,090 --> 00:23:28,460
The Family Guy
season premiere...
594
00:23:28,460 --> 00:23:30,290
It's locked!
We're gonna die!
595
00:23:30,290 --> 00:23:32,250
(screams)
is a real scream!
596
00:23:32,260 --> 00:23:34,960
Gary, somebody e-mailed me
a video of a sheep screaming.
597
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:36,820
(screams)
Sunday
on Fox.