1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,500 ♪ The Simpsons 24x07 ♪ The Day the Earth Stood Cool Original Air Date on December 9, 2012 2 00:00:06,656 --> 00:00:09,141 == sync, corrected by elderman == 3 00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:12,211 Bart, stop it! 4 00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:13,879 You might fall. 5 00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:17,116 Oh, he's such a cute little rascal. 6 00:00:17,150 --> 00:00:20,152 Oh, my God, is she flirting with me? 7 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,638 I can see where he gets his good looks. 8 00:00:22,672 --> 00:00:24,373 She is flirting with me! 9 00:00:24,407 --> 00:00:26,225 Okay, Homer, let her down easy. 10 00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:27,910 Don't go breaking any hearts. 11 00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:30,146 What a lucky little boy to get a trip 12 00:00:30,180 --> 00:00:31,797 to the park with his grandpa. 13 00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,315 Grandpa?! 14 00:00:33,350 --> 00:00:35,017 Grandpa?! 15 00:00:35,051 --> 00:00:36,652 Oh, my God! 16 00:00:36,686 --> 00:00:38,020 Should I call an ambulance? 17 00:00:38,054 --> 00:00:40,439 Help! An old man is dying! 18 00:00:40,473 --> 00:00:42,491 Oh! This boy's grandfather 19 00:00:42,526 --> 00:00:45,544 is a shriveled-up corncob begging for death! 20 00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:47,313 I am his father! 21 00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:51,534 I can't believe I allowed you to hit on me! 22 00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:54,820 Beat it, ducks! 23 00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,472 I'm not old enough to have food for you! 24 00:00:56,506 --> 00:00:58,490 I'm sexy! Young and sexy! 25 00:01:01,077 --> 00:01:03,195 Old man. I'm not an old man. 26 00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:05,264 This drawing doesn't think I'm old. 27 00:01:05,298 --> 00:01:06,932 Don't you, drawing? 28 00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:10,502 Those aren't our regular donuts. 29 00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:12,922 They're huge! With crazy toppings! 30 00:01:12,956 --> 00:01:14,190 Gummy worms! 31 00:01:14,224 --> 00:01:15,524 Churro chunks! 32 00:01:15,559 --> 00:01:17,843 Russian nesting donut! 33 00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:22,431 I got to eat the rest! 34 00:01:22,465 --> 00:01:23,666 They're gone! 35 00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:26,335 Where did these Devil Donuts come from? 36 00:01:26,369 --> 00:01:27,920 I don't know. The guy who gives 37 00:01:27,938 --> 00:01:29,838 the sexual harassment seminars brought them in. 38 00:01:29,873 --> 00:01:32,775 Actually, Carl, there's no workplace-appropriate use 39 00:01:32,809 --> 00:01:34,710 for the word "bazooms." 40 00:01:34,744 --> 00:01:36,278 What about "thunderbags"? 41 00:01:36,313 --> 00:01:38,764 Get lost, pervs! 42 00:01:40,099 --> 00:01:42,234 Okay, where did you get these donuts?! 43 00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,770 From a guy with a cart. It could be anywhere! 44 00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:48,457 911. What is your emergency? 45 00:01:48,491 --> 00:01:52,111 I'm calling to report a missing donut cart. 46 00:01:54,130 --> 00:01:56,215 I'm not seeing anything. Can you get any lower? 47 00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:57,950 But, Chief, the power lines! 48 00:01:57,968 --> 00:01:59,585 "But, Chief, the power lines." 49 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:01,487 Go lower! 50 00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:03,739 Nope. Nope. Nothing. 51 00:02:03,773 --> 00:02:04,924 Nope. 52 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,475 I see... 53 00:02:06,509 --> 00:02:07,626 devil horns... 54 00:02:07,644 --> 00:02:09,561 pitchfork... pointed tail, 55 00:02:09,596 --> 00:02:11,463 hooves are... cloven! 56 00:02:11,481 --> 00:02:12,965 We have logo, people! 57 00:02:12,983 --> 00:02:14,016 We have logo! 58 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:18,103 Sorry, gents, we're fresh out. 59 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,606 I only make one batch a day. When they're gone, I'm done. 60 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,408 Oh, no more donuts?! 61 00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:24,009 Make more or I shoot! 62 00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:26,512 I'm not bluffing. Come on. 63 00:02:26,546 --> 00:02:27,680 Hmm. 64 00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:29,648 What have I become? 65 00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,116 It's not a good feeling 66 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,018 when you're saying, "what have I become?" 67 00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:34,954 more than once a day. 68 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,221 Mm. Mm-hmm. 69 00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:39,925 Tell you what, I could give you 70 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,794 a sneak preview of a new donut 71 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,979 that's still in the R&D phase. 72 00:02:44,014 --> 00:02:47,149 Oh. Beer keg donut?! 73 00:02:49,686 --> 00:02:51,086 I would be honored 74 00:02:51,121 --> 00:02:53,255 to shake the hand that glazed this. 75 00:02:53,290 --> 00:02:54,657 I'm Terence. 76 00:02:54,691 --> 00:02:56,825 Tell me everything about you. 77 00:02:56,860 --> 00:02:58,360 You're from Portland? 78 00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,362 I've heard of people being from there. 79 00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:01,780 No, I haven't. 80 00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:03,682 Yeah, but Portland just got too played out. 81 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,117 The city used to be real. 82 00:03:05,151 --> 00:03:07,052 Do you know there are now restaurants there 83 00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:09,188 with two locations? 84 00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:10,973 Not near my kids. 85 00:03:11,007 --> 00:03:12,708 Wait a minute. You have kids? 86 00:03:12,742 --> 00:03:15,394 You can't have kids. Look at you. 87 00:03:15,428 --> 00:03:17,363 You have a fun job, a skull ring-- 88 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:19,031 and it's not Halloween-- 89 00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:21,066 and your belt is a seat belt! 90 00:03:21,101 --> 00:03:23,652 No one would ever think you're a lame old man. 91 00:03:23,687 --> 00:03:26,271 Ah, you can't let being a dad slow you down. 92 00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:28,991 Me and the fam are doing the whole "urban nomad" thing. 93 00:03:29,025 --> 00:03:31,060 You know, just looking for an undiscovered city 94 00:03:31,094 --> 00:03:32,578 with affordable houses. 95 00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:34,229 Our houses are the cheapest! 96 00:03:34,264 --> 00:03:36,615 The one next to me's been on sale forever! 97 00:03:36,649 --> 00:03:39,084 I see them lowering the price every morning 98 00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:41,453 when I go out to pee. 99 00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:43,756 Please. Please rush into this. 100 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,190 Please rush into this. 101 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,592 What a find! 102 00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:48,427 Underneath all the ugly renovations 103 00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:50,429 this house has Neutra bones. 104 00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:52,464 In my house, we found human bones. 105 00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:54,066 Emily and I have always dreamed 106 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:55,701 of restoring an architectural masterpiece. 107 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:59,471 I have a graduate degree in Mid-Century Kitsch. 108 00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,240 Thanks for turning us on to this place, Homer. 109 00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:02,541 You're a pretty cool guy. 110 00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:05,544 Really? I'm... cool?! 111 00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:08,480 Oh, can I man-hug you? 112 00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:09,982 Sure. 113 00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:12,618 I don't know how! 114 00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:16,772 Okay, our first hangout 115 00:04:16,806 --> 00:04:18,323 with the cool new neighbors. 116 00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:20,125 I've already blown them away-- 117 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,827 their words, I assume-- 118 00:04:21,861 --> 00:04:23,612 so don't screw it up! 119 00:04:23,646 --> 00:04:26,465 Oh, relax, kids. Just be yourselves. 120 00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:30,002 Oh, great, Marge, now that's in their heads! 121 00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:33,005 Hey, this is my armadillo, Chewy. 122 00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:35,808 Uh, Mexico Chewy, not Star Wars Chewie. 123 00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:38,610 Star Wars Chewie is just a man in a costume, 124 00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:41,580 so he's not scary. 125 00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:44,683 And this is our baby, Corduroy, 126 00:04:44,717 --> 00:04:46,518 and our son, T-Rex. 127 00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:48,821 Yeah, neighbors. Heh, I get it. 128 00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:51,123 T-Rex? Even their names are cool. 129 00:04:51,157 --> 00:04:52,691 Uh, this is, um... 130 00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:57,162 Ice Cream, Bungee Jump, and... Viral Video. 131 00:04:59,682 --> 00:05:01,083 Wow! Whoa! 132 00:05:01,117 --> 00:05:02,668 Cool. 133 00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:04,803 Look at these obscure card games! 134 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:07,106 Hey, do you have Uno? 135 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,425 I did, when I was uno. 136 00:05:09,459 --> 00:05:11,477 Check out all these Sergeant Activity dolls! 137 00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:13,645 No, that's Combat Jack, 138 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,714 the original British doll 139 00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:18,317 that Sergeant Activity ripped off. 140 00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:20,886 Fine. You have a weird old version of something. 141 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,337 Let's just watch TV. 142 00:05:22,372 --> 00:05:26,442 Uh, TV? We don't own a TV. 143 00:05:26,476 --> 00:05:28,644 I didn't know that was an option. 144 00:05:28,678 --> 00:05:30,112 I think I'm done here. 145 00:05:30,146 --> 00:05:31,947 Lisa, go nuts. 146 00:05:31,981 --> 00:05:35,651 My dad only lets me watch what's on his queue. 147 00:05:35,685 --> 00:05:38,053 If I don't get off the Cloud Palace, 148 00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:40,189 I'll never get home for school tomorrow, 149 00:05:40,223 --> 00:05:42,858 but the Toad Spirit has Aunt Ginzee! 150 00:05:49,532 --> 00:05:52,167 "Scientists prove cat heaven real, 151 00:05:52,202 --> 00:05:53,802 human heaven not!" 152 00:05:53,837 --> 00:05:56,171 That's so sad! 153 00:05:56,206 --> 00:05:58,040 Those are joke headlines. 154 00:05:58,074 --> 00:05:59,842 It's not a real newspaper, 155 00:05:59,876 --> 00:06:01,910 it's just satire. 156 00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:04,680 Oh... satire! 157 00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:09,418 And these fake movie reviews are so mean, 158 00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:12,054 it's hilarious! 159 00:06:12,088 --> 00:06:14,189 Oh, those are real. 160 00:06:14,224 --> 00:06:16,358 Great paper. 161 00:06:17,427 --> 00:06:18,827 Maggie's a little hungry. 162 00:06:18,862 --> 00:06:20,829 Oh, you can go ahead and feed her. 163 00:06:20,864 --> 00:06:23,599 Corduroy could probably use a snack. 164 00:06:24,901 --> 00:06:28,570 Hmm, that's not applesauce. 165 00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:30,706 Oh, uh, you don't have to be uncomfortable 166 00:06:30,740 --> 00:06:32,541 around another nursing mom. 167 00:06:32,575 --> 00:06:35,110 Breast-feeding's just a healthy thing we all do. 168 00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:36,778 It sure is! 169 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:40,532 There's nothing more natural than... that. 170 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,401 It's just that Maggie's already... 171 00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:46,071 milked me today. 172 00:06:46,105 --> 00:06:47,606 Homer, I think we should go. 173 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,074 We're not like these people. 174 00:06:50,293 --> 00:06:51,610 Check out my new look. 175 00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:53,278 Terence shaved my head. 176 00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:54,963 You're all bald! 177 00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:57,966 No, I'm young-person cool bald! 178 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,135 Not old-person sad bald. 179 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:02,771 I never want to see these again! 180 00:07:09,602 --> 00:07:11,102 Check it out, Flanders! 181 00:07:11,136 --> 00:07:14,505 Us cool dads are sharing a mono-yard! 182 00:07:14,540 --> 00:07:16,908 Guess I can't be your best friend anymore. 183 00:07:16,942 --> 00:07:19,661 To be honest, that comes as a tremendous relief. 184 00:07:19,695 --> 00:07:21,679 Boo-hoo-hoo! You could cry all night, 185 00:07:21,730 --> 00:07:23,781 it's not gonna win me back! 186 00:07:27,903 --> 00:07:31,139 I can finally compost! 187 00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:36,594 Maybe we shouldn't rush things with the new neighbors. 188 00:07:36,629 --> 00:07:40,031 You know, we might not all be a perfect match. 189 00:07:40,065 --> 00:07:41,983 I have a plan to deal with that. 190 00:07:42,001 --> 00:07:43,935 Step one: Change everything about ourselves 191 00:07:43,969 --> 00:07:45,870 until we are super-cool. The end. 192 00:07:45,904 --> 00:07:48,673 But I always thought you were cool. 193 00:07:48,707 --> 00:07:50,308 Honey, I'm not cool. 194 00:07:50,342 --> 00:07:51,509 I was never cool. 195 00:07:51,543 --> 00:07:53,044 I didn't go to college. 196 00:07:53,078 --> 00:07:55,880 Every CD I have, I bought at a car wash. 197 00:07:55,931 --> 00:07:57,682 Black-and-white films make me angry. 198 00:07:57,716 --> 00:07:59,467 I can't pronounce "artisanal." 199 00:07:59,501 --> 00:08:02,320 I only know David Cross from the Chipmunks movie. 200 00:08:02,354 --> 00:08:04,322 Not only do I like Van Halen, 201 00:08:04,356 --> 00:08:06,491 but I think they keep getting better. 202 00:08:06,525 --> 00:08:07,659 Oh... 203 00:08:07,693 --> 00:08:09,294 But if me and my kids do 204 00:08:09,328 --> 00:08:11,362 the same stuff as Terence and his kids, 205 00:08:11,397 --> 00:08:14,248 I could be a cool dad. 206 00:08:14,283 --> 00:08:17,335 Well, sweetie, if it's that important to you, 207 00:08:17,369 --> 00:08:19,637 I guess we can try. 208 00:08:19,672 --> 00:08:22,373 Thanks, baby. Here, have a bracelet 209 00:08:22,408 --> 00:08:24,842 made of a '70s educational film strip. 210 00:08:24,877 --> 00:08:27,345 Ooh, hygiene! 211 00:08:27,379 --> 00:08:28,613 ♪ Yeah, it's a real cool club 212 00:08:28,647 --> 00:08:31,082 ♪ And you're not part of it 213 00:08:32,117 --> 00:08:34,085 ♪ Yeah, it's a real cool club 214 00:08:34,119 --> 00:08:36,287 ♪ And you'll never be a part of it. ♪ 215 00:08:37,790 --> 00:08:41,726 Your father took you to a Korean gangster film festival? 216 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:43,995 Yeah, it was great! This one guy was part 217 00:08:44,029 --> 00:08:46,047 of another guy's gang-- I mean, kkangpae-- 218 00:08:46,081 --> 00:08:48,366 but then he quit and joined another kkangpae, 219 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,218 and when the guys in the first kkangpae found out, 220 00:08:50,252 --> 00:08:52,270 they were so mad they put his feet in a blender! 221 00:08:52,304 --> 00:08:54,722 Then they cut to a guy eating noodles, and blood splashed on him! 222 00:08:54,740 --> 00:08:57,025 At the art walk, we walked into a gallery, 223 00:08:57,059 --> 00:08:58,760 and it was just a guy crying. 224 00:08:58,794 --> 00:09:00,828 That was the art! 225 00:09:01,930 --> 00:09:03,765 The kids are a mess! 226 00:09:03,799 --> 00:09:06,801 You brought them home exhausted and pretentious! 227 00:09:06,835 --> 00:09:09,404 No, we need to take kids to grown-up stuff. 228 00:09:09,438 --> 00:09:12,240 That's Terence's parenting style. 229 00:09:12,274 --> 00:09:14,625 Parenting shouldn't have a style! 230 00:09:14,660 --> 00:09:16,794 Parenting is about bedtimes, 231 00:09:16,829 --> 00:09:18,946 and passwords on computers, 232 00:09:18,981 --> 00:09:20,815 and complicated punishments 233 00:09:20,849 --> 00:09:22,283 you never follow through on! 234 00:09:22,317 --> 00:09:25,119 Are you wearing a wallet chain? 235 00:09:25,154 --> 00:09:27,422 You look like... a barista! 236 00:09:27,456 --> 00:09:29,474 Well, you won't be laughing when you see 237 00:09:29,508 --> 00:09:31,776 how many pickpockets this thing catches. 238 00:09:31,810 --> 00:09:33,277 And what's with the scarf? 239 00:09:33,312 --> 00:09:35,380 It's soaked in neck sweat! 240 00:09:35,414 --> 00:09:37,448 Wearing scarves in non-scarf weather 241 00:09:37,483 --> 00:09:39,450 is the essence of cool. 242 00:09:39,485 --> 00:09:41,119 The essence! 243 00:09:42,154 --> 00:09:43,371 Ooh. 244 00:09:45,140 --> 00:09:47,759 Aw, man, my goatee has barely come in! 245 00:09:47,793 --> 00:09:50,628 Why does my hair only grow in twos? 246 00:09:50,662 --> 00:09:53,598 Oh, I hope T-Rex likes the present I made him. 247 00:09:53,632 --> 00:09:56,467 Made? Why didn't you just buy him a toy? 248 00:09:56,502 --> 00:09:59,837 Homemade presents are how cool families 249 00:09:59,872 --> 00:10:02,140 demonstrate how awesome they are. 250 00:10:02,174 --> 00:10:05,443 If I show up with a toy... 251 00:10:05,477 --> 00:10:07,412 from the store... 252 00:10:07,446 --> 00:10:10,181 like we would give our kids... 253 00:10:10,215 --> 00:10:11,682 then I've failed! 254 00:10:11,717 --> 00:10:16,087 And these skinny jeans will have flattened my junk for nothing! 255 00:10:22,127 --> 00:10:24,028 Geez, is this a kid's birthday party, 256 00:10:24,062 --> 00:10:25,763 or the place a bad guy 257 00:10:25,798 --> 00:10:27,548 kidnaps you to in a movie? 258 00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:30,118 Yeah, this factory used to make blimp tires. 259 00:10:30,152 --> 00:10:33,521 T-Rex loves decaying industrial-scapes. 260 00:10:33,555 --> 00:10:35,356 I used to. Now I'm into 261 00:10:35,390 --> 00:10:37,058 abandoned ethnic union halls. 262 00:10:37,092 --> 00:10:39,293 Come on, dude, this party rocks! 263 00:10:39,328 --> 00:10:41,496 Love the temporary- tattoo station! 264 00:10:41,530 --> 00:10:43,798 Uh, temporary? 265 00:10:43,832 --> 00:10:45,533 I want kitty whiskers! 266 00:10:45,567 --> 00:10:47,301 You got it. 267 00:10:47,335 --> 00:10:50,471 There's got to be a bounce house around here somewhere. 268 00:10:50,505 --> 00:10:53,524 At least maybe a pinata? 269 00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:00,248 Holy aureole! 270 00:11:00,282 --> 00:11:02,216 Please, join our milk circle. 271 00:11:02,251 --> 00:11:03,718 I'd love to, 272 00:11:03,752 --> 00:11:06,237 but Maggie's a little shy. 273 00:11:06,271 --> 00:11:09,874 Oh, don't worry-- you can use a nursing apron. 274 00:11:09,908 --> 00:11:11,876 Play along. 275 00:11:11,910 --> 00:11:14,979 Oh, this couldn't feel more natural. 276 00:11:15,013 --> 00:11:16,681 Glug, glug, glug. 277 00:11:16,715 --> 00:11:18,282 That's a good little mammal. 278 00:11:21,620 --> 00:11:22,954 A bottle?! 279 00:11:22,988 --> 00:11:24,055 Plastic! 280 00:11:24,089 --> 00:11:25,206 Formula! 281 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:27,091 That is so wrong. 282 00:11:27,125 --> 00:11:31,028 Fine, I admit it, you nipple Nazis. 283 00:11:31,063 --> 00:11:32,897 I give my baby formula. 284 00:11:34,466 --> 00:11:36,367 It's okay. If you don't want to breast-feed 285 00:11:36,401 --> 00:11:38,419 your baby, we will. 286 00:11:40,772 --> 00:11:42,440 Stay back. 287 00:11:42,474 --> 00:11:44,025 You know I'll use this. 288 00:11:44,059 --> 00:11:45,459 Because you saw me using it. 289 00:11:47,496 --> 00:11:51,265 Huh, 1950s Pontiac Accordion Camera. 290 00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:54,936 I could always use another one of these. 291 00:11:54,970 --> 00:11:57,071 Bowling shoes. 292 00:11:57,105 --> 00:11:59,540 Not vintage, but you know, in a pinch. 293 00:12:02,544 --> 00:12:03,945 "Dino-Cool" 294 00:12:03,979 --> 00:12:08,082 Oh, I get it-- a T-Rex for the T-Rex. 295 00:12:08,116 --> 00:12:10,218 How long did it take him to think of that one? 296 00:12:10,252 --> 00:12:11,502 Oh, man. 297 00:12:11,537 --> 00:12:13,838 Hey, my dad worked really hard to make that. 298 00:12:13,872 --> 00:12:16,173 He took a class to learn denim painting. 299 00:12:16,208 --> 00:12:17,608 This is so pathetic. 300 00:12:17,643 --> 00:12:20,261 I can't even wear it ironically ironically. 301 00:12:21,730 --> 00:12:24,482 This guy's going on my "Poser Tumblr." 302 00:12:28,737 --> 00:12:32,256 No one bad mouths my dad except me. 303 00:12:34,159 --> 00:12:36,110 Hey, dude! 304 00:12:36,144 --> 00:12:37,611 ♪ 305 00:12:39,831 --> 00:12:41,832 My vinyl. My vinyl! 306 00:12:44,753 --> 00:12:46,420 Your son attacked mine. 307 00:12:46,455 --> 00:12:47,989 You've turned this former slaughterhouse 308 00:12:48,023 --> 00:12:49,991 into a place of violence. 309 00:12:50,025 --> 00:12:51,559 I thought it made blimp tires. 310 00:12:51,593 --> 00:12:54,128 Yeah, like factories are never repurposed. 311 00:12:55,864 --> 00:12:58,065 It's time for you guys to leave. 312 00:12:58,100 --> 00:13:00,234 Are we still on for midnight bike riding? 313 00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:12,280 Feeling included is life's greatest joy. 314 00:13:12,314 --> 00:13:14,165 Oh... 315 00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:18,906 Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh-ho-ho, boy. 316 00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:22,108 Oh-ho-ho, boy, oh, boy. 317 00:13:22,143 --> 00:13:24,377 Have you been "oh boy"-ing all night? 318 00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:27,247 Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, boy. 319 00:13:27,281 --> 00:13:30,350 We had the family version of a bro-mance going 320 00:13:30,384 --> 00:13:33,787 with our awesome neighbors and you had to screw it up. 321 00:13:33,821 --> 00:13:35,722 Look, that kid threw your present in the garbage, 322 00:13:35,756 --> 00:13:38,057 and he called you a poser, and everyone laughed. 323 00:13:38,092 --> 00:13:40,393 He called me a poser? 324 00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:42,061 Yeah, I was sticking up for you. 325 00:13:42,096 --> 00:13:44,330 You? Sticking up for your old man? 326 00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,733 You've never done that before. 327 00:13:46,767 --> 00:13:48,868 Also, I didn't want to tell you, 328 00:13:48,903 --> 00:13:51,738 but that wife and her gang looked down on me 329 00:13:51,772 --> 00:13:53,273 because I don't breast-feed. 330 00:13:53,307 --> 00:13:56,976 What? No one judges my wife's thunderbags. 331 00:13:57,011 --> 00:13:59,946 Well, maybe I was wrong about these people. 332 00:13:59,980 --> 00:14:02,916 Whoever thought a cool person could be a jerk? 333 00:14:04,118 --> 00:14:07,303 They can "goatee" hell. 334 00:14:07,338 --> 00:14:09,305 Humph. 335 00:14:10,508 --> 00:14:12,175 Yeah, that's right. 336 00:14:12,209 --> 00:14:13,877 The friendship between the Simpsons 337 00:14:13,911 --> 00:14:17,413 and the whatever-your- last-name-is-es-es is over. 338 00:14:17,448 --> 00:14:19,983 I want my moustache stencils back. 339 00:14:20,017 --> 00:14:20,984 Fine. 340 00:14:21,018 --> 00:14:23,470 Keep 'em. 341 00:14:23,504 --> 00:14:25,305 But you have to give back... 342 00:14:25,339 --> 00:14:26,473 Lisa? 343 00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:31,978 Mm-hmm. 344 00:14:32,012 --> 00:14:33,112 I just thought 345 00:14:33,147 --> 00:14:34,647 if we got together we could change 346 00:14:34,682 --> 00:14:36,683 the channel from "The Feud Network" 347 00:14:36,717 --> 00:14:38,284 to "Comity Central." 348 00:14:38,319 --> 00:14:40,837 Could we at least agree to both hate Flanders? 349 00:14:40,871 --> 00:14:42,572 I like him-- he talks in rhyme 350 00:14:42,606 --> 00:14:44,507 and owns a whimsical store in a failing mall. 351 00:14:44,542 --> 00:14:46,609 He's like the dad in a Wes Anderson movie. 352 00:14:46,644 --> 00:14:48,278 Shut up with your names! 353 00:14:48,312 --> 00:14:50,180 Well, we were just questioning the parenting 354 00:14:50,214 --> 00:14:53,183 that lead to Bart not using his words with Tyrannosaurus. 355 00:14:53,217 --> 00:14:55,318 Parenting? 356 00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:58,321 Let me tell you "cool parents" something. 357 00:14:58,355 --> 00:15:02,358 Parents are supposed to be lame so their kids have something 358 00:15:02,393 --> 00:15:05,995 to rebel against by becoming cool just long enough 359 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:09,933 to get married and have kids for whom they are lame. 360 00:15:09,967 --> 00:15:12,368 It's nature's way. 361 00:15:12,403 --> 00:15:15,138 When you're old, your tattoos will be saggy and illegible. 362 00:15:15,172 --> 00:15:17,473 Well, at least I don't put a corporate chemical cocktail 363 00:15:17,508 --> 00:15:18,875 into my child's body. 364 00:15:18,909 --> 00:15:21,177 See? See what I'm dealing with here, Ned? 365 00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:23,379 We invited them here and they repay us 366 00:15:23,414 --> 00:15:25,315 with insults and judgments. 367 00:15:25,349 --> 00:15:27,183 Yes, but there's two sides to every... 368 00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:28,852 Even Flanders agrees. 369 00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:30,987 This is our neighborhood, we were here first 370 00:15:31,021 --> 00:15:32,322 so you should leave. 371 00:15:32,356 --> 00:15:33,656 We're not going anywhere. 372 00:15:33,691 --> 00:15:36,159 Our house just got written up in Dwell. 373 00:15:36,193 --> 00:15:37,827 Oh, no, it's true. 374 00:15:37,862 --> 00:15:39,696 When I humble-brag about this article, 375 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:42,699 this towns about to get as popular as toe sneakers. 376 00:15:44,952 --> 00:15:46,853 The "us"-types are coming. 377 00:15:46,887 --> 00:15:47,754 Oh. 378 00:15:51,609 --> 00:15:53,610 ♪ 379 00:16:05,873 --> 00:16:07,173 Butts! 380 00:16:11,962 --> 00:16:13,129 ♪ 381 00:16:13,163 --> 00:16:15,598 Class, say hello to your new music teachers, 382 00:16:15,633 --> 00:16:17,066 The Decemberists. 383 00:16:18,569 --> 00:16:20,503 Now, who wants to learn a song 384 00:16:20,537 --> 00:16:23,206 about press-gangs and infanticide? 385 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:27,777 Stupid town. 386 00:16:27,828 --> 00:16:29,495 At least I still got Moe's. 387 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:32,565 Although probably not seeing where this is going. 388 00:16:36,654 --> 00:16:37,937 What happened here? 389 00:16:37,972 --> 00:16:39,238 I don't know-- everything crappy 390 00:16:39,273 --> 00:16:40,506 about this place, they like. 391 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:41,574 Even the rats. 392 00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:43,743 More manchego, Aziz? 393 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,131 Oh, Marge, it's bad. 394 00:16:48,165 --> 00:16:50,266 The cool people are everywhere. 395 00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:53,503 Somehow they've even made the weather rainier. 396 00:16:53,537 --> 00:16:55,705 I brought these people to Springfield 397 00:16:55,739 --> 00:16:58,308 and now they've taken over. 398 00:16:58,342 --> 00:17:02,078 It's a hellhole. 399 00:17:11,649 --> 00:17:15,185 Disco Stu has found a new thing. 400 00:17:15,219 --> 00:17:16,670 What happened to our town? 401 00:17:16,704 --> 00:17:18,638 Everybody wears clothes from the past 402 00:17:18,673 --> 00:17:20,924 and uses computers from the future. 403 00:17:20,958 --> 00:17:23,193 Where can I buy spats? 404 00:17:23,227 --> 00:17:25,412 Apu's House of Spats. 405 00:17:28,149 --> 00:17:30,784 Hey, better not attack me again. 406 00:17:30,818 --> 00:17:33,186 My mom gave me a salvaged police whistle. 407 00:17:33,221 --> 00:17:36,273 We had to replace the ball but everything else is stock. 408 00:17:36,307 --> 00:17:37,941 Ah, relax, I'm over it. 409 00:17:37,975 --> 00:17:39,593 Why aren't you at the block party? 410 00:17:39,627 --> 00:17:41,394 Block parties are lame. 411 00:17:41,429 --> 00:17:43,063 Why do you think everything's lame? 412 00:17:43,097 --> 00:17:44,331 I don't know. 413 00:17:44,365 --> 00:17:45,966 I don't get a lot of sleep. 414 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,802 I was out really late at an all-ages burlesque show. 415 00:17:48,836 --> 00:17:51,738 Sorry I was mean to your dad. 416 00:17:51,772 --> 00:17:53,640 That's okay-- he is pretty lame. 417 00:17:53,674 --> 00:17:55,141 Hey, want to watch TV? 418 00:17:55,176 --> 00:17:56,142 Real TV? 419 00:17:56,177 --> 00:17:57,310 With commercials? 420 00:17:57,345 --> 00:17:58,979 Terrible commercials. 421 00:17:59,013 --> 00:18:01,448 But I'm supposed to turn the compost. 422 00:18:01,482 --> 00:18:03,483 Screw that-- it's Krusty time. 423 00:18:14,779 --> 00:18:16,746 ♪ 424 00:18:26,857 --> 00:18:27,941 Okay, you win. 425 00:18:27,975 --> 00:18:29,142 We don't have to be friends, 426 00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:30,777 but can we live on the fringes of your world? 427 00:18:30,811 --> 00:18:32,679 Like those eels that eat whale poop? 428 00:18:32,713 --> 00:18:35,048 Yeah... 429 00:18:35,082 --> 00:18:37,183 Um, we'll talk about it. 430 00:18:37,218 --> 00:18:38,685 That's how we say no. 431 00:18:38,719 --> 00:18:40,520 What's that smell? 432 00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:42,956 Unturned compost and... 433 00:18:42,990 --> 00:18:44,324 Cuban movie posters! 434 00:18:44,358 --> 00:18:45,358 That's our house! 435 00:18:50,164 --> 00:18:52,182 If the flames reach my donut oil, 436 00:18:52,216 --> 00:18:53,800 the whole neighborhood will go up. 437 00:18:53,834 --> 00:18:55,885 Hmm? Huh? 438 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:58,688 Damn it. The community garden's using all the water pressure! 439 00:18:58,723 --> 00:19:00,056 You just had to have local radishes. 440 00:19:00,107 --> 00:19:01,207 Not now, Emily. 441 00:19:01,242 --> 00:19:03,059 Stop your trendy arguing. 442 00:19:03,094 --> 00:19:05,211 I'm trying to call the fire department. 443 00:19:05,246 --> 00:19:07,747 Sorry, our old-timey fire bell spooked the horses 444 00:19:07,782 --> 00:19:09,049 and they ran away. 445 00:19:09,083 --> 00:19:11,968 You're organic, all-natural lifestyle 446 00:19:12,003 --> 00:19:13,803 has doomed us all! 447 00:19:13,838 --> 00:19:15,205 Then to save us, 448 00:19:15,239 --> 00:19:18,975 we need something incredibly unnatural! 449 00:19:19,010 --> 00:19:23,213 50 gallons of baby formula will put out that blaze. 450 00:19:23,247 --> 00:19:25,715 ♪ 451 00:19:26,751 --> 00:19:28,168 Eh... yoik. 452 00:19:28,202 --> 00:19:29,386 Yoik. 453 00:19:29,420 --> 00:19:30,904 Yoik. 454 00:19:30,938 --> 00:19:32,172 Double yoik. 455 00:19:34,025 --> 00:19:35,392 ♪ 456 00:19:35,426 --> 00:19:38,895 The net of scarves and wallet chains is holding! 457 00:19:38,929 --> 00:19:40,997 They're necessary. They're necessary! 458 00:19:41,032 --> 00:19:43,500 They're finally necessary! 459 00:19:43,534 --> 00:19:47,404 ♪ 460 00:19:50,758 --> 00:19:52,709 I'm sorry we judged you, Marge. 461 00:19:52,743 --> 00:19:54,711 Your formula saved us all. 462 00:19:54,745 --> 00:19:56,746 I guess I do feel a little bad 463 00:19:56,781 --> 00:19:58,715 about not breast- feeding my kids. 464 00:19:58,749 --> 00:19:59,883 Except Lisa. 465 00:19:59,917 --> 00:20:01,084 I brest-fed Lisa for nine months. 466 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,664 ♪ 467 00:20:17,768 --> 00:20:19,536 I did it, I did it, 468 00:20:19,570 --> 00:20:21,304 I man-hugged! 469 00:20:21,339 --> 00:20:23,340 Daddy, Daddy, I want to go to Krustyburger with Bart 470 00:20:23,374 --> 00:20:24,607 and get a Laffy Meal! 471 00:20:24,642 --> 00:20:26,710 'Cause each Laffy Meal comes with a different toy! 472 00:20:26,744 --> 00:20:28,311 And I got to collect 'em all! 473 00:20:29,947 --> 00:20:31,881 Check it out! 474 00:20:31,916 --> 00:20:33,483 The New York Times travel section 475 00:20:33,517 --> 00:20:36,553 just named Springfield "America's Coolest City." 476 00:20:36,587 --> 00:20:38,355 See? 477 00:20:39,457 --> 00:20:42,459 That means Springfield is played out. 478 00:20:44,762 --> 00:20:47,047 Please! Please take me with you! 479 00:20:47,081 --> 00:20:48,448 I am one of you! 480 00:20:48,482 --> 00:20:50,734 I understood all your references! 481 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:53,586 No matter where you go, 482 00:20:53,621 --> 00:20:56,139 I will find you! 483 00:20:56,173 --> 00:21:01,173 == sync, corrected by elderman == 484 00:21:06,907 --> 00:21:10,877 Nuclear energy was a craft before it was a science. 485 00:21:10,911 --> 00:21:13,346 I mean, what's wrong with the old ways? 486 00:21:13,380 --> 00:21:16,215 When uranium came from a stream, 487 00:21:16,250 --> 00:21:19,385 and atoms were split by hand, 488 00:21:19,420 --> 00:21:21,587 then transformed into the kind of electricity 489 00:21:21,622 --> 00:21:23,689 that illuminated not just our homes... 490 00:21:23,724 --> 00:21:26,058 but our souls as well. 491 00:21:26,093 --> 00:21:27,860 Who decided that the electrons we produce 492 00:21:27,895 --> 00:21:30,563 can't stand for something greater? 493 00:21:30,597 --> 00:21:33,883 Sure, handmade electricity costs more and powers less, 494 00:21:33,917 --> 00:21:36,202 but maybe that's the point. 495 00:21:38,105 --> 00:21:41,174 The adventure begins. 496 00:21:45,596 --> 00:21:47,647 Shh.