1 00:00:46,703 --> 00:00:47,869 D'oh! 2 00:00:54,801 --> 00:00:58,301 ♪ The Simpsons 22x16 ♪ A Midsummer's Nice Dream Original Air Date on March 13, 2011 3 00:00:58,326 --> 00:01:02,726 -- sync, corrected by elderman -- 4 00:01:03,619 --> 00:01:05,270 The Queen will be held without bail 5 00:01:05,338 --> 00:01:07,789 until the sample is returned from the lab. 6 00:01:07,857 --> 00:01:10,859 And now it's time for "That's Kent-ertainment!" 7 00:01:24,791 --> 00:01:26,625 Here's a story that gives new meaning 8 00:01:26,693 --> 00:01:28,360 to the words "puff piece." 9 00:01:28,428 --> 00:01:30,595 Springfield natives Cheech and Chong 10 00:01:30,663 --> 00:01:33,565 are returning in triumph for a reunion show. 11 00:01:33,633 --> 00:01:35,967 Cheech and Chong are coming back to Springfield? 12 00:01:36,035 --> 00:01:38,053 Cheech and Chong are from Springfield? 13 00:01:38,121 --> 00:01:40,539 Lucy and Desi are getting a divorce? 14 00:01:40,606 --> 00:01:42,741 Before they formed their "joint" partnership, 15 00:01:42,809 --> 00:01:44,242 Tommy Chong and Richard "Cheech" Marin 16 00:01:44,310 --> 00:01:46,845 briefly worked as Channel 6 meteorologists. 17 00:01:46,913 --> 00:01:48,714 Tomorrow, a high-pressure front 18 00:01:48,781 --> 00:01:51,550 brings a strong possibility of drizzle. 19 00:01:51,617 --> 00:01:54,619 Then, the doobie of destiny changed their lives forever, 20 00:01:54,687 --> 00:01:56,438 when police burned marijuana seized 21 00:01:56,489 --> 00:01:59,775 from the Buddy Rich Orchestra in a nearby lot. 22 00:01:59,842 --> 00:02:02,944 So, you know, uh, check your barometer, 23 00:02:03,012 --> 00:02:05,414 thermometer, anemometer... 24 00:02:05,481 --> 00:02:07,749 Why does everything have to have an "ometer" on it? 25 00:02:07,817 --> 00:02:09,317 And what is rain, man? 26 00:02:09,385 --> 00:02:11,820 It's like we're in the apartment under God 27 00:02:11,888 --> 00:02:14,189 and his fat sister overflowed the tub. 28 00:02:15,758 --> 00:02:18,627 The duo's herbal ha-has led to a series 29 00:02:18,694 --> 00:02:22,831 of successful albums, concerts, movies and Nash Bridges. 30 00:02:22,899 --> 00:02:26,485 Now these homegrown heroes will kick off their summer tour 31 00:02:26,552 --> 00:02:28,653 at Squidport's new amphitheatre, 32 00:02:28,721 --> 00:02:32,224 the Clamphitheater, the $800 million boondoggle 33 00:02:32,291 --> 00:02:35,260 based on nothing more than a cute play on words. 34 00:02:35,328 --> 00:02:37,362 Who the hell are Cheech and Chong? 35 00:02:37,430 --> 00:02:39,314 Bart, Cheech and Chong 36 00:02:39,382 --> 00:02:41,650 were the Beavis and Butthead of their day. 37 00:02:41,717 --> 00:02:43,118 Who are Beavis and Butthead? 38 00:02:44,454 --> 00:02:45,937 I've failed as a parent. 39 00:02:46,005 --> 00:02:48,223 I swore the day my son was born 40 00:02:48,291 --> 00:02:50,125 he would appreciate stoner comedy. 41 00:02:50,193 --> 00:02:51,443 To the media room! 42 00:02:51,511 --> 00:02:53,378 CHONG Open up. It's the police. 43 00:02:53,446 --> 00:02:55,647 Oh, man. I got to get rid of my grass. 44 00:02:58,568 --> 00:03:01,670 He's flushing his pot down the toilet-- unnecessarily! 45 00:03:04,457 --> 00:03:08,193 Back then, we'd play these albums again and again 46 00:03:08,261 --> 00:03:11,463 till they were filled with skips and clicks and pops. 47 00:03:11,531 --> 00:03:13,298 Which was about three times. 48 00:03:13,366 --> 00:03:15,000 These are comedy albums? 49 00:03:15,067 --> 00:03:16,334 The Noisy Minority. 50 00:03:16,402 --> 00:03:18,453 The Upside-Down Bubblegum Collective. 51 00:03:18,521 --> 00:03:19,921 The Regional Lampoon. 52 00:03:19,989 --> 00:03:21,957 The Plymouth Grok Experiment. 53 00:03:22,024 --> 00:03:23,158 Fro And Flo. 54 00:03:23,226 --> 00:03:25,343 Allan Sherman's Helter Shmelter. 55 00:03:25,411 --> 00:03:27,279 What are you guys doing up there? 56 00:03:27,346 --> 00:03:28,480 Hide the dope! 57 00:03:28,548 --> 00:03:29,681 We don't have any dope. 58 00:03:29,749 --> 00:03:31,299 Then, what did I just smoke? 59 00:03:38,124 --> 00:03:40,842 Lou, I want you to confiscate these brownies. 60 00:03:40,910 --> 00:03:42,294 There's no drugs in these brownies. 61 00:03:42,361 --> 00:03:43,862 I said "confiscate"! 62 00:03:43,930 --> 00:03:47,866 Uh, also confiscate me a T-shirt, uh triple-XL. 63 00:03:47,934 --> 00:03:50,869 I thought you said double-XL was a real wake-up call. 64 00:03:50,937 --> 00:03:52,554 That was for pants. 65 00:03:52,605 --> 00:03:54,823 Ladies and gentlemen, Krusty the Clown. 66 00:03:54,891 --> 00:03:56,191 Thank you. 67 00:03:56,258 --> 00:03:57,976 When they asked me to introduce Cheech and Chong, 68 00:03:58,044 --> 00:03:59,811 I said, "How much?" 69 00:03:59,896 --> 00:04:02,280 And they said, "We don't pay for introductions," 70 00:04:02,365 --> 00:04:05,734 so I said, "Then I don't need this crummy gig." 71 00:04:05,801 --> 00:04:09,087 And they said, "Yes, you do," and I said... 72 00:04:09,155 --> 00:04:10,872 "Ladies and gentlemen, Cheech and Chong!" 73 00:04:13,793 --> 00:04:15,810 Who is it? It's me, Dave, man. 74 00:04:15,878 --> 00:04:17,812 Open up. I got the stuff. 75 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,581 I thought they'd do bits, 76 00:04:19,649 --> 00:04:21,550 but their most famous bit? 77 00:04:21,617 --> 00:04:23,852 Will you open up? I got the stuff with me. 78 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,555 Ooh, he's gonna say "Dave's not here." 79 00:04:26,622 --> 00:04:29,257 Dave's not here! Dave's not here! 80 00:04:29,308 --> 00:04:30,892 ALL Dave's not here! 81 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:32,494 Dave's not here! 82 00:04:32,562 --> 00:04:33,695 Say the line, man. 83 00:04:33,763 --> 00:04:35,130 They already know the line. 84 00:04:35,197 --> 00:04:36,364 What's the surprise? 85 00:04:36,432 --> 00:04:37,632 What's the point? 86 00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:39,167 The point is they still give us 87 00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:40,902 a shoebox full of 20s to do this. 88 00:04:40,970 --> 00:04:42,721 Now, say it. 89 00:04:42,788 --> 00:04:44,356 Dave's not... 90 00:04:44,423 --> 00:04:46,691 Dave's not gonna sell out anymore, man. 91 00:04:46,759 --> 00:04:48,526 I-I can't say it. 92 00:04:50,479 --> 00:04:52,497 What are you doing, man?! 93 00:04:52,565 --> 00:04:53,748 What am I doing? What am I... 94 00:04:53,816 --> 00:04:55,200 I'm experimenting, man. 95 00:04:55,268 --> 00:04:57,302 I'm growing as an artist, okay? 96 00:04:57,370 --> 00:04:59,371 That's not the Cheech and Chong brand. 97 00:04:59,438 --> 00:05:00,789 Brand? Brand? 98 00:05:00,856 --> 00:05:02,591 I'm a 72-year-old man. 99 00:05:02,658 --> 00:05:04,659 I've eaten eggs every which way they cook 'em. 100 00:05:04,710 --> 00:05:06,628 I can't play it safe anymore. 101 00:05:06,679 --> 00:05:09,714 Look, these people pay good money to see "Dave's not here." 102 00:05:09,782 --> 00:05:11,449 You owe them "Dave's not here." 103 00:05:11,517 --> 00:05:13,184 Well, how about this? 104 00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:15,921 Chong's not here, man. 105 00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:21,242 Oh, no. 106 00:05:21,310 --> 00:05:22,711 Chong is refusing to fall back 107 00:05:22,778 --> 00:05:24,179 on his old catchphrases. 108 00:05:24,246 --> 00:05:25,480 Ay, caramba. 109 00:05:26,782 --> 00:05:29,184 Homie, you know all the bits. 110 00:05:29,251 --> 00:05:30,502 Maybe you could help him. 111 00:05:30,569 --> 00:05:32,854 I can't do reefer comedy. I'm drunk. 112 00:05:32,922 --> 00:05:34,556 Two different animals. 113 00:05:34,624 --> 00:05:36,741 Homer Simpson, that man's albums 114 00:05:36,809 --> 00:05:38,960 have given you decades of entertainment 115 00:05:39,028 --> 00:05:41,830 and seen you through some very square times. 116 00:05:41,897 --> 00:05:43,098 Help him. 117 00:05:51,824 --> 00:05:55,844 Dave's not here, man. 118 00:06:00,466 --> 00:06:02,467 No, man, I'm Dave. 119 00:06:02,535 --> 00:06:04,069 D-A-V-E. 120 00:06:04,136 --> 00:06:05,270 Dave? 121 00:06:05,338 --> 00:06:07,072 That's right. Now open up the door. 122 00:06:07,139 --> 00:06:09,190 Dave's not here, man. 123 00:06:15,898 --> 00:06:17,582 You find this funny, sir? 124 00:06:17,650 --> 00:06:20,418 Just because it's too hip for you, Smithers... 125 00:06:20,503 --> 00:06:22,253 ♪ ♪ 126 00:06:25,257 --> 00:06:27,759 I'll give Dave your message. 127 00:06:27,827 --> 00:06:30,545 I don't find this funny at all. 128 00:06:30,596 --> 00:06:34,416 My time being wasted was not wasted. 129 00:06:36,085 --> 00:06:38,753 Hey, man, you're all right. 130 00:06:38,821 --> 00:06:40,722 How'd you like to be the new Chong? 131 00:06:40,790 --> 00:06:41,890 Yes. 132 00:06:41,941 --> 00:06:42,974 Will I get to meet Dave? 133 00:06:43,042 --> 00:06:44,025 There is no Dave. 134 00:06:44,093 --> 00:06:45,276 How about Don Johnson? 135 00:06:45,344 --> 00:06:46,594 It would be easier to meet Dave. 136 00:06:53,091 --> 00:06:56,515 It is so cool for you to let me go on tour with Cheech. 137 00:06:56,826 --> 00:06:58,227 And remember, 138 00:06:58,294 --> 00:06:59,928 on the road, the only vice 139 00:06:59,996 --> 00:07:01,830 you can indulge in is gluttony. 140 00:07:01,898 --> 00:07:04,700 Save lust and rage for me and the kids. 141 00:07:04,768 --> 00:07:06,635 Sweetie, don't worry. 142 00:07:06,703 --> 00:07:09,705 I'm gonna come back so horny and angry. 143 00:07:09,773 --> 00:07:11,106 Aw... 144 00:07:11,191 --> 00:07:13,942 I can't believe I'm riding around in Cheech's van. 145 00:07:14,027 --> 00:07:15,661 The van made of weed. 146 00:07:15,728 --> 00:07:17,279 It's not made of weed. 147 00:07:17,363 --> 00:07:18,580 Oh. What's it made of? 148 00:07:18,665 --> 00:07:19,948 Hash? 'Shrooms? 149 00:07:20,033 --> 00:07:22,868 Lysergic acid diethylamide? 150 00:07:22,919 --> 00:07:25,671 No. The van is just made of van. 151 00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:26,955 Oh... 152 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:28,540 Look, Homer, I really need you 153 00:07:28,591 --> 00:07:30,042 to be on your game, you know? 154 00:07:30,093 --> 00:07:32,010 A lot of our fans have gone through rehab, 155 00:07:32,078 --> 00:07:33,245 so they're much more critical. 156 00:07:33,296 --> 00:07:34,680 Don't worry, Cheech. 157 00:07:34,747 --> 00:07:37,516 I know all the classic bits of you and Chong. 158 00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:39,301 Don't say that name. Now, you drive. 159 00:07:39,385 --> 00:07:40,585 I have to go black out his face 160 00:07:40,637 --> 00:07:42,137 on some T-shirts with a Magic Marker. 161 00:07:42,222 --> 00:07:43,806 Can we get high from the fumes? 162 00:07:43,890 --> 00:07:45,407 No! 163 00:07:57,554 --> 00:08:00,789 Okay, man, what I'm looking for in a new Cheech 164 00:08:00,857 --> 00:08:04,460 is someone who is, like, open-minded and adventurous. 165 00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:06,862 I haven't decided about the mustache yet, 166 00:08:06,930 --> 00:08:08,764 but you need your own suspenders. 167 00:08:08,832 --> 00:08:10,499 Snap, snap. 168 00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:12,367 Our friendship died with the first snap, 169 00:08:12,435 --> 00:08:15,070 and you buried it with the second. 170 00:08:15,138 --> 00:08:17,339 You ever notice how your nose makes boogers? 171 00:08:17,407 --> 00:08:19,007 What's up with that? 172 00:08:19,075 --> 00:08:20,809 Uh, next? 173 00:08:20,877 --> 00:08:23,445 I can't pay the rent. 174 00:08:23,513 --> 00:08:25,047 You must pay the rent. 175 00:08:25,115 --> 00:08:26,899 I can't pay the rent. 176 00:08:26,966 --> 00:08:28,233 You must pay the rent. 177 00:08:28,301 --> 00:08:30,035 I'll pay the rent. 178 00:08:30,103 --> 00:08:31,370 My hero. 179 00:08:31,437 --> 00:08:34,156 Aw, who am I kidding? I don't got the money. 180 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:35,941 Ooh... Next? 181 00:08:45,118 --> 00:08:46,485 Zoom. 182 00:08:47,821 --> 00:08:50,088 I am your substitute teacher, 183 00:08:50,156 --> 00:08:51,723 Sister Mary Elephant. 184 00:08:51,791 --> 00:08:54,026 Class, attention, attention, 185 00:08:54,093 --> 00:08:55,994 class, class. Shut up. 186 00:08:56,062 --> 00:08:57,162 Thank you. 187 00:08:57,230 --> 00:08:58,497 Uh, no, man. 188 00:08:58,565 --> 00:09:00,265 No routines from the old regime. 189 00:09:00,333 --> 00:09:02,901 Really? But Sister Mary's no-nonsense attitude 190 00:09:02,969 --> 00:09:04,903 is what inspired me to become an educator. 191 00:09:04,971 --> 00:09:07,239 Just let your freak flag fly, man. 192 00:09:07,307 --> 00:09:09,374 Well, I guess as long as I fold it afterward 193 00:09:09,442 --> 00:09:10,843 and don't display it at night... 194 00:09:10,910 --> 00:09:14,346 Oh, perhaps I should improvise, or do an improv? 195 00:09:14,414 --> 00:09:16,048 I want you to reinvent the wheel. 196 00:09:16,115 --> 00:09:17,983 No, de-invent the wheel. 197 00:09:18,051 --> 00:09:18,984 No. 198 00:09:19,052 --> 00:09:21,453 "Re-unvent the whool." 199 00:09:21,521 --> 00:09:23,388 Oh, I'll get my prop trunk. 200 00:09:23,456 --> 00:09:25,490 A lot of people have cell phones, 201 00:09:25,558 --> 00:09:27,292 but I like to eat healthy, 202 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:29,862 So I invented... the celery phone. 203 00:09:29,929 --> 00:09:31,997 Hello? Hello? 204 00:09:32,065 --> 00:09:35,767 Wow. You are the un-funniest man I've ever seen. 205 00:09:35,835 --> 00:09:37,669 Which means, teaming up with you 206 00:09:37,737 --> 00:09:39,371 would be totally pushing the envelope. 207 00:09:39,439 --> 00:09:40,906 Mother, how did you get this number? 208 00:09:40,974 --> 00:09:42,341 It's a prop phone. 209 00:09:42,408 --> 00:09:44,209 Yes, I have your celery. 210 00:09:44,277 --> 00:09:46,478 I took the limpest stalk there was. 211 00:09:46,546 --> 00:09:48,447 Stop it. Stop riffing. 212 00:09:48,514 --> 00:09:49,547 The gig is yours. 213 00:09:51,134 --> 00:09:55,003 Time to finally return your father's overdue movies. 214 00:09:55,071 --> 00:09:57,739 Is it really okay to just drop them into the pit 215 00:09:57,824 --> 00:09:59,274 where the Blockbuster used to be? 216 00:09:59,342 --> 00:10:00,776 Got a better idea? 217 00:10:11,371 --> 00:10:13,055 Um, hello. 218 00:10:13,122 --> 00:10:14,656 I'm Marge Simpson. 219 00:10:14,724 --> 00:10:16,959 I think I've given you money a couple of times. 220 00:10:18,728 --> 00:10:21,196 No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want the money back. 221 00:10:21,264 --> 00:10:23,015 I just came for my dog. 222 00:10:31,357 --> 00:10:33,692 Easter grass, Cable Ace Awards, 223 00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:36,428 aquariums full of broken pinball game parts, 224 00:10:36,479 --> 00:10:39,564 popped but uneaten Jiffy Pop still in the silver bubble, 225 00:10:39,616 --> 00:10:42,818 sample-sized shampoos, detergents and whiskeys, and... 226 00:10:42,885 --> 00:10:45,454 I hate to say this about the Cat Lady, 227 00:10:45,538 --> 00:10:47,322 but I think she's crazy. 228 00:10:47,390 --> 00:10:49,057 She's a hoarder. 229 00:10:50,927 --> 00:10:52,411 This is so sad. 230 00:10:52,478 --> 00:10:53,528 Can we help her? 231 00:10:53,596 --> 00:10:55,564 We can. It'll be great. 232 00:10:55,632 --> 00:10:57,866 Like a reality show without the cameras. 233 00:10:57,934 --> 00:11:00,085 You mean, just reality. 234 00:11:00,153 --> 00:11:01,553 Yeah, that's what you think. 235 00:11:01,621 --> 00:11:03,472 Cut, print, mail to NBC. 236 00:11:09,479 --> 00:11:11,813 ♪ Cheech and Chong has lost its Chong ♪ 237 00:11:11,898 --> 00:11:14,516 ♪ I am the Chong now ♪ 238 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,301 ♪ Take a little look ♪ 239 00:11:16,352 --> 00:11:17,853 ♪ Take a little look ♪ 240 00:11:17,937 --> 00:11:20,939 ♪ Take a little look at me-e. ♪ 241 00:11:22,308 --> 00:11:23,808 That's funny, Homer. 242 00:11:23,860 --> 00:11:25,694 Now we really have to work on the show. 243 00:11:25,778 --> 00:11:28,697 Oh, yeah, I get you-- "work on the show." 244 00:11:28,781 --> 00:11:30,749 Maybe we should start at 4:20, right? 245 00:11:31,984 --> 00:11:33,168 Marijuana reference! 246 00:11:33,252 --> 00:11:35,037 Yeah, I got it. 247 00:11:35,121 --> 00:11:37,756 Listen, man, comedy is hard work. 248 00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:40,092 Hard work? I thought this was gonna be fun. 249 00:11:40,159 --> 00:11:41,510 It is fun! 250 00:11:41,594 --> 00:11:43,712 The fun is the knowledge that our audience gets 251 00:11:43,796 --> 00:11:45,380 a good value for their hard-earned dollar! 252 00:11:45,465 --> 00:11:46,848 ♪ ♪ 253 00:11:46,916 --> 00:11:50,285 ♪ Cheech is sure a lot less cool than I imagined ♪ 254 00:11:50,353 --> 00:11:52,337 Stop that! 255 00:11:52,388 --> 00:11:53,638 ♪ Better shut up ♪ 256 00:11:53,690 --> 00:11:55,190 ♪ Cheech is really mad ♪ 257 00:11:55,274 --> 00:11:58,310 ♪ I wish that I had gone with Cho-ong. ♪ 258 00:12:01,591 --> 00:12:04,495 Now, we've managed to preoccupy the cat lady 259 00:12:04,608 --> 00:12:07,176 for the next few hours. 260 00:12:07,244 --> 00:12:09,912 ♪ Memory ♪ 261 00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:14,316 ♪ All alone in the moonlight ♪ 262 00:12:14,384 --> 00:12:19,455 ♪ I can smile at the old days ♪ 263 00:12:19,523 --> 00:12:23,059 ♪ I was beautiful then... ♪ 264 00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:28,247 Ah, so beautiful! 265 00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:41,093 Thank you, Marge. 266 00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:45,214 Thank you for clearing the clutter from my house 267 00:12:45,282 --> 00:12:46,949 and my mind. 268 00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:53,172 Haul away, driver man! 269 00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,075 Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! 270 00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:59,445 A perfectly good hot lather dispenser. 271 00:12:59,513 --> 00:13:01,297 I can't count the number of times 272 00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:04,517 Homie's cried in anguish over his lukewarm lather. 273 00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:08,187 Ooh, a pen from the Milwaukee Hilton! 274 00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:12,341 A phone answering machine from the '80s! 275 00:13:12,409 --> 00:13:14,110 ♪ Nobody's home! ♪ 276 00:13:15,345 --> 00:13:17,179 All of J.D. Salinger's books, 277 00:13:17,247 --> 00:13:18,981 except Catcher In The Rye! 278 00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:24,286 Used pizza protectors! 279 00:13:25,956 --> 00:13:26,972 Ooh! 280 00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,293 Ooh! 281 00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:33,429 She's crazy, but I'd do her. 282 00:13:33,497 --> 00:13:35,481 Hey, Sister? Hey, Sister? Class! 283 00:13:35,549 --> 00:13:37,433 Class! I got to go to the can, man. 284 00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:39,168 Shut up! 285 00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:46,892 You did all right, kid. 286 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,661 You earned a reward. 287 00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,429 Oh, yeah. 288 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:54,400 A reward from Cheech. 289 00:13:54,484 --> 00:13:59,455 ♪ Yes, I am the victim of a Basketball Jones ♪ 290 00:13:59,522 --> 00:14:01,791 ♪ Ever since I was a little baby ♪ 291 00:14:01,858 --> 00:14:03,626 ♪ I always be dribblin' ♪ 292 00:14:03,693 --> 00:14:05,244 ♪ In fact ♪ 293 00:14:05,328 --> 00:14:08,964 ♪ I was de baddest dribbler in the whole neighborhood ♪ 294 00:14:09,032 --> 00:14:13,552 ♪ Then one day, my mama bought me a basketball ♪ 295 00:14:13,637 --> 00:14:16,538 ♪ And I loved that basketball ♪ 296 00:14:16,590 --> 00:14:20,426 ♪ I took that basketball with me everywhere I went ♪ 297 00:14:20,494 --> 00:14:24,013 ♪ That basketball was like a basketball to me ♪ 298 00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:29,235 ♪ I even put that basketball underneath my pillow ♪ 299 00:14:29,319 --> 00:14:32,638 ♪ Maybe that's why I can't sleep at night ♪ 300 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:35,891 ♪ I need help, ladies and gentlemens ♪ 301 00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:38,093 ♪ I need someone to stand beside me ♪ 302 00:14:38,161 --> 00:14:41,630 ♪ I need, I need someone to set a pick for me ♪ 303 00:14:41,698 --> 00:14:43,849 ♪ At the free-throw line of life ♪ 304 00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:46,535 ♪ Someone I can pass to ♪ 305 00:14:46,603 --> 00:14:49,305 ♪ Someone to hit the open man on the give-and-go ♪ 306 00:14:49,372 --> 00:14:52,208 ♪ And not end up in the popcorn machine ♪ 307 00:14:52,275 --> 00:14:54,009 ♪ So, cheerleaders, help me out ♪ 308 00:14:54,077 --> 00:14:55,961 ♪ Basketball Jones ♪ 309 00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:58,080 ♪ I got a Basketball Jones ♪ 310 00:14:58,148 --> 00:14:59,932 ♪ Oh, that sounds so sweet ♪ 311 00:15:00,016 --> 00:15:01,567 ♪ I got a Basketball... ♪ 312 00:15:01,635 --> 00:15:03,269 Homer? 313 00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:04,770 Homer! Hmm? 314 00:15:04,838 --> 00:15:06,288 Here's your reward. 315 00:15:06,356 --> 00:15:07,857 What the...?! Yeah. 316 00:15:07,924 --> 00:15:09,625 I'm taking you to a museum, man. 317 00:15:09,693 --> 00:15:12,194 Chong and I used to come here all the time. 318 00:15:12,262 --> 00:15:16,165 Oh! Why aren't you exactly like your stage persona? 319 00:15:16,233 --> 00:15:20,002 Now Homer, this Viramontes image is an example 320 00:15:20,070 --> 00:15:22,738 of how Chicano poster art preserves a culture ignored 321 00:15:22,806 --> 00:15:24,340 by Eurocentric society. 322 00:15:24,407 --> 00:15:26,942 Eurocentric! Oh! 323 00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:29,245 When do we have wacky adventures? 324 00:15:29,312 --> 00:15:31,046 Ah, that's just the movies, man. 325 00:15:31,114 --> 00:15:32,948 Can we at least get some French fries? 326 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,383 Too high in trans fats. 327 00:15:34,451 --> 00:15:37,019 Stop speaking Spanish. 328 00:15:40,257 --> 00:15:43,292 Ladies and gentlemen, man. 329 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:44,894 Prepare for comedy 330 00:15:44,961 --> 00:15:46,929 that will murder your expectations 331 00:15:46,997 --> 00:15:49,031 and bury them in a sea of "what?" 332 00:15:49,099 --> 00:15:51,600 with waves of "huh?" 333 00:15:54,237 --> 00:15:56,305 I am Dave. 334 00:15:58,074 --> 00:16:00,576 Dave is here. Man. 335 00:16:00,644 --> 00:16:04,046 Skinner, his dessert menu is funnier than you. 336 00:16:04,114 --> 00:16:06,815 Yeah. 337 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:09,685 Yes, but I'm funnier than the cocktail napkins. 338 00:16:09,753 --> 00:16:11,153 They're blank, Seymour. 339 00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:14,290 Yes, but there are two "K" sounds in cocktail. 340 00:16:14,357 --> 00:16:15,491 Yes, there are. 341 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,511 So, how was your first day of school? 342 00:16:19,596 --> 00:16:21,496 I met the new principal, Mr. Baumgartner. 343 00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:22,998 He seemed really cool. 344 00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:25,517 When he walked through the gym, he shot a basket. 345 00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:47,239 Who has disturbed my tomb? 346 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:49,508 Grampa, you're not dead. 347 00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:51,277 Well, wake me when I am. 348 00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,713 I never thought I'd say this, 349 00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:57,750 but Dad is the only one who can help us. 350 00:16:59,302 --> 00:17:01,870 Now, Homer, what did we agree 351 00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,706 about personal phone calls during rehearsal time? 352 00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:07,476 It's disrespectful to the high standards 353 00:17:07,544 --> 00:17:10,279 people have come to expect from Cheech and Chunk. 354 00:17:10,347 --> 00:17:12,181 That's right. Now let's take it from the part 355 00:17:12,248 --> 00:17:13,382 where we sniff each other's butts. 356 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:14,066 Yes, sir. 357 00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:15,367 Come on, sniff! 358 00:17:17,020 --> 00:17:18,971 That's a movie sniff. 359 00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,639 This is live theater. 360 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,724 Now inhale, damn it. 361 00:17:24,060 --> 00:17:27,329 I'm hearing it, but I'm not feeling it. 362 00:17:27,397 --> 00:17:29,181 Oh! 363 00:17:34,295 --> 00:17:36,964 Ugh! Okay, bus parked. Got to save Marge. 364 00:17:38,566 --> 00:17:42,436 I can't believe the crazy house would throw out all these forks. 365 00:17:44,038 --> 00:17:45,372 Marge, sweetie, 366 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:48,175 do you know how low, low prices are insane? 367 00:17:48,243 --> 00:17:50,711 Well, sometimes people can be, too. 368 00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,212 What are you talking about? 369 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,081 Marge, you saved me. 370 00:17:54,148 --> 00:17:55,649 Now I want to save you. 371 00:17:55,717 --> 00:17:57,684 I'm not a hoarder. 372 00:17:57,752 --> 00:17:59,753 Do the Yankees hoard pennants? 373 00:17:59,821 --> 00:18:02,723 Does Marrakesh hoard intrigue? 374 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:05,175 Marge, Marge, what can one person 375 00:18:05,226 --> 00:18:06,493 honestly do with...? 376 00:18:06,561 --> 00:18:09,796 Filled-in mini golf score sheets. 377 00:18:11,282 --> 00:18:13,150 European ketchup. 378 00:18:14,852 --> 00:18:16,686 Rolls of "I voted" stickers. 379 00:18:19,874 --> 00:18:22,525 Styrofoam shaped like old computers! 380 00:18:22,577 --> 00:18:23,877 Oh! 381 00:18:25,496 --> 00:18:26,680 Give me! 382 00:18:26,748 --> 00:18:27,881 Oh, lookie, lookie! 383 00:18:27,949 --> 00:18:30,169 Oh! Ooh! Ooh! But... 384 00:18:30,204 --> 00:18:32,532 Don't look back Marge. Don't look back. 385 00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:35,850 Let's just leave the crazy woman alone in our house. 386 00:18:36,180 --> 00:18:37,380 You've got something more important to attend to. 387 00:18:38,774 --> 00:18:42,690 Ya-aah....Ya-aah! 388 00:18:42,715 --> 00:18:45,383 Umm...we'll deal with all of that later. 389 00:18:54,905 --> 00:18:56,105 Hey baby want a ride? 390 00:18:57,147 --> 00:18:59,540 Come on. If Art Garfunkel could forgive 391 00:18:59,565 --> 00:19:01,363 that untalented twerp, Paul Simon 392 00:19:01,388 --> 00:19:03,072 you can do this. 393 00:19:10,585 --> 00:19:13,096 What'd you do with Chonk, man? 394 00:19:13,121 --> 00:19:14,828 He sent me out here, man. 395 00:19:14,853 --> 00:19:17,906 He's got this idea I'm unhappy with my new partner. 396 00:19:17,931 --> 00:19:20,596 I decided to put family over career. 397 00:19:20,621 --> 00:19:23,012 You mean you put nothing over nothing. 398 00:19:25,303 --> 00:19:27,249 Tell them how you feel. 399 00:19:27,274 --> 00:19:29,283 I feel super high. 400 00:19:29,308 --> 00:19:30,746 Yeah. Me too. 401 00:19:30,771 --> 00:19:33,255 Come on. Surrender to the moment. 402 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,846 Don't make the mistake I always do. 403 00:19:35,871 --> 00:19:38,428 Of thinking too much before you act. 404 00:19:40,571 --> 00:19:41,771 Oh. 405 00:19:43,490 --> 00:19:46,307 I guess people do like the classic bits. 406 00:19:46,332 --> 00:19:49,562 You know, it's okay if you want to experiment a little... 407 00:19:50,504 --> 00:19:51,595 Oh, Thomas. 408 00:19:51,620 --> 00:19:53,368 Oh, Richard. 409 00:19:58,478 --> 00:20:00,876 I'm sorry I mocked your lack of suspenders. 410 00:20:00,901 --> 00:20:03,097 I guess I was just jealous of your belt. 411 00:20:03,122 --> 00:20:05,631 This belt has caused too many fights between us. 412 00:20:11,387 --> 00:20:13,294 How now mad spirit, 413 00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:15,867 before we part, tis I Mischevious 414 00:20:15,892 --> 00:20:17,092 stand puckish, Bart. 415 00:20:19,221 --> 00:20:21,574 Was not I the players did disturb 416 00:20:21,599 --> 00:20:25,192 twas the doings of a green and naughty herb. 417 00:20:25,217 --> 00:20:27,795 The Gods have righted every wrong. 418 00:20:27,820 --> 00:20:31,163 Cheech the stoner, has his Chong. 419 00:20:31,424 --> 00:20:33,917 And, Homer, he is back with mom. 420 00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:36,413 You can watch us tomorrow at hulu.com 421 00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:40,319 -- sync, corrected by elderman -- 422 00:20:42,751 --> 00:20:43,611 Who is it? 423 00:20:43,636 --> 00:20:44,962 It's me, Dave, man. 424 00:20:44,987 --> 00:20:46,187 Open up. I got the stuff. 425 00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:47,412 - Who? - Dave, man. 426 00:20:47,437 --> 00:20:50,438 Dave's not here. Hold on, let me get the door here. 427 00:20:51,688 --> 00:20:52,280 Who are you? 428 00:20:52,305 --> 00:20:53,206 It's Dave, man. 429 00:20:53,231 --> 00:20:54,207 You ruined it, man. 430 00:20:54,232 --> 00:20:55,875 You weren't suppose to open the door. 431 00:20:55,900 --> 00:20:57,441 Oh, okay wait. Let's start again. 432 00:20:57,525 --> 00:20:58,725 Close the door. I'll be out here with you, Dave. 433 00:21:00,463 --> 00:21:01,461 Hey Homer... Yeah. 434 00:21:01,486 --> 00:21:02,815 Why do you go and get us some stuff? 435 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,461 Okay. I'll go and get some stuff. 436 00:21:04,486 --> 00:21:06,767 Way down there. Way, way...way far... 437 00:21:06,792 --> 00:21:07,882 down there. Way down here? 438 00:21:07,907 --> 00:21:09,107 Yeah. Way. Keep going. 439 00:21:09,132 --> 00:21:10,681 Keep going. Now turn the corner. 440 00:21:10,706 --> 00:21:11,906 Turn the corner. 441 00:21:16,274 --> 00:21:17,261 Who is it? 442 00:21:17,286 --> 00:21:18,486 It's me. Relieved. 443 00:21:23,060 --> 00:21:24,260 Gee. Sorry Dave.