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00:00:49,939 --> 00:00:50,872
Ooh!
2
00:01:02,618 --> 00:01:04,085
D'oh!
3
00:01:07,656 --> 00:01:09,323
Hmm?!
4
00:01:16,348 --> 00:01:17,599
Hmm...
5
00:01:18,968 --> 00:01:20,334
Hmm?!
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00:01:20,386 --> 00:01:21,235
Hey!
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00:01:33,632 --> 00:01:37,701
♪ The Simpsons 22x12 ♪
Homer the Father
Original Air Date on January 23, 2011
8
00:01:37,772 --> 00:01:41,274
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
9
00:01:42,841 --> 00:01:45,009
Tonight on "Kent's Korrections,"
10
00:01:45,077 --> 00:01:47,078
it has been brought
to our attention
11
00:01:47,146 --> 00:01:49,614
that the word "correction" is
actually spelled with a "C."
12
00:01:49,682 --> 00:01:51,683
We regret any confusion
this may have caused.
13
00:01:51,750 --> 00:01:54,986
Lisa, mash the buttons till
something good comes on.
14
00:01:55,054 --> 00:01:57,555
Welcome back to Tube Town,
15
00:01:57,623 --> 00:01:59,891
the home of Sheriff Wholesome;
Black President...
16
00:01:59,959 --> 00:02:02,093
Failed Geena Davis
Sitcom 1986...
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00:02:02,161 --> 00:02:03,795
The Voiceover Years...
18
00:02:03,862 --> 00:02:06,364
Hannigan, M.F.A.--
But coming up now,
19
00:02:06,432 --> 00:02:09,600
the classic '80s sitcom,
Thicker Than Waters.
20
00:02:09,668 --> 00:02:13,121
♪ Cherish that family smile ♪
21
00:02:13,188 --> 00:02:19,093
♪ Picket fence days
don't last forever ♪
22
00:02:19,161 --> 00:02:22,030
♪ The future is coming up ♪
23
00:02:22,097 --> 00:02:24,732
♪ Mom and dad and kids
24
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:30,905
♪ Are precious. ♪
25
00:02:34,610 --> 00:02:36,577
Filmed before
a live studio audience.
26
00:02:36,645 --> 00:02:40,314
Everyone in that
studio audience is dead now.
27
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:47,055
You know
candy's bad for your teeth.
28
00:02:47,122 --> 00:02:49,824
If it wasn't for candy,
you'd be out of business.
29
00:02:50,959 --> 00:02:53,261
Hmm. Share these
with your friends.
30
00:02:54,730 --> 00:02:58,066
Dad, I need a new
baseball glove.
31
00:02:58,133 --> 00:03:00,301
Son, if I just
bought you a glove,
32
00:03:00,369 --> 00:03:01,836
you wouldn't
appreciate it.
33
00:03:01,904 --> 00:03:03,471
I'm afraid you're
gonna have to
34
00:03:03,539 --> 00:03:04,972
earn the money
for it yourself.
35
00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,709
Aw, come on, Dad.
36
00:03:07,776 --> 00:03:08,976
Aw...
37
00:03:09,044 --> 00:03:10,812
Oh no, not "the face."
38
00:03:16,118 --> 00:03:17,719
Oh, life was
so much easier
39
00:03:17,786 --> 00:03:20,788
when a machine told you
when to laugh.
40
00:03:28,697 --> 00:03:32,133
I liked the producing,
the executive producing
41
00:03:32,201 --> 00:03:34,602
and especially the co-producing.
42
00:03:34,670 --> 00:03:38,806
But the supervising producing
was the best I've ever seen.
43
00:03:38,874 --> 00:03:42,610
So anyway, that's why me
and Nana are taking a break.
44
00:03:43,829 --> 00:03:45,263
Aw!
45
00:03:45,330 --> 00:03:47,698
Oh, stupid cheap bike.
46
00:03:47,766 --> 00:03:51,335
To think I was gonna
put fenders on you.
47
00:03:51,403 --> 00:03:53,387
Oh, my God!
48
00:03:55,791 --> 00:03:58,126
I think I just met the thing
I'm gonna die on.
49
00:04:19,748 --> 00:04:22,784
Gotta have that minibike.
50
00:04:22,851 --> 00:04:23,951
Oh, my God.
51
00:04:24,019 --> 00:04:25,653
I've found my new look.
52
00:04:25,721 --> 00:04:27,522
Those are girl overalls.
53
00:04:27,589 --> 00:04:29,323
I could pull it off.
54
00:04:32,361 --> 00:04:34,328
Can I have it, Dad?
Bart?!
55
00:04:34,396 --> 00:04:35,663
Can I?
56
00:04:36,932 --> 00:04:39,167
Thanks for not buying me
that glove
57
00:04:39,234 --> 00:04:43,471
and teaching me
what's really important.
58
00:04:43,539 --> 00:04:46,474
Bart, son,
if I bought you that bike,
59
00:04:46,542 --> 00:04:48,442
you wouldn't appreciate it.
60
00:04:48,510 --> 00:04:50,611
Because when you get
anything you want,
61
00:04:50,679 --> 00:04:52,914
you don't want
anything you get.
62
00:04:52,981 --> 00:04:54,248
What is this crap?
63
00:04:54,316 --> 00:04:56,350
Are you wearing a wire?
64
00:04:56,418 --> 00:04:59,987
Someday you'll understand
that I'm just being a good dad.
65
00:05:00,055 --> 00:05:01,322
Are you kidding?
66
00:05:01,390 --> 00:05:02,957
You're the worst dad
who ever lived.
67
00:05:03,025 --> 00:05:04,792
I'd rather take my chances
in a hot car
68
00:05:04,860 --> 00:05:06,360
than go in a store with you.
69
00:05:06,428 --> 00:05:08,613
Why, you little...
70
00:05:08,697 --> 00:05:11,565
Homer, a good father
is strong enough
71
00:05:11,617 --> 00:05:13,868
that he doesn't need
to use his strength.
72
00:05:13,919 --> 00:05:17,238
What Bart needs is for you to
strangle him with your love.
73
00:05:17,306 --> 00:05:18,873
Hmm.
74
00:05:18,924 --> 00:05:20,508
I never thought
of fatherhood
75
00:05:20,576 --> 00:05:22,476
as something that
could affect a kid.
76
00:05:22,544 --> 00:05:23,978
Son, I won't strangle
you anymore,
77
00:05:24,046 --> 00:05:25,813
but I also won't get
you that minibike.
78
00:05:25,881 --> 00:05:27,415
How about this?
79
00:05:27,482 --> 00:05:30,284
I let you punch me in the face
and you get me a snowmobile.
80
00:05:30,352 --> 00:05:31,319
I wish I could, son.
81
00:05:31,386 --> 00:05:32,854
I really wish I could.
82
00:05:36,825 --> 00:05:39,460
Now it's ready for garbage.
83
00:05:42,564 --> 00:05:44,198
What's wrong, Homie?
84
00:05:44,266 --> 00:05:46,434
Bart's mad because he wanted
me to buy him something,
85
00:05:46,501 --> 00:05:49,070
but I didn't think it was
the right thing to do--
86
00:05:51,006 --> 00:05:53,241
Marge, not in front
of the refrigerator.
87
00:05:55,077 --> 00:05:58,212
There's nothing sexier
than a man being a good dad.
88
00:05:58,280 --> 00:05:59,347
Whoa.
89
00:05:59,414 --> 00:06:02,316
Oh, well, in that case,
90
00:06:02,384 --> 00:06:05,953
Lisa was using her
solar calculator yesterday,
91
00:06:06,021 --> 00:06:08,890
so I opened the drapes
to let in more sun.
92
00:06:11,827 --> 00:06:13,895
Just hope the kids
didn't hear us.
93
00:06:13,962 --> 00:06:16,497
Well, maybe
your kids didn't.
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00:06:20,569 --> 00:06:23,204
Lise, I gotta talk to you.
I'm busy.
95
00:06:23,272 --> 00:06:24,972
Don't you minimize me!
96
00:06:27,609 --> 00:06:29,677
Fine. Just get in here.
97
00:06:29,745 --> 00:06:32,747
How can I earn money to buy
the world's most awesome thing?
98
00:06:32,814 --> 00:06:34,415
You could deliver newspapers.
99
00:06:34,483 --> 00:06:36,484
Kids don't deliver
newspapers anymore.
100
00:06:36,551 --> 00:06:38,286
It's just creeps in trucks.
101
00:06:39,888 --> 00:06:41,622
Maybe if you buckle down
and get good grades,
102
00:06:41,690 --> 00:06:42,990
Dad will give you money.
103
00:06:44,126 --> 00:06:45,159
Does he give you money
104
00:06:45,227 --> 00:06:46,494
for getting good grades?
105
00:06:46,561 --> 00:06:48,162
I've been doing the family's
books for years.
106
00:06:48,230 --> 00:06:49,931
I take what I need.
107
00:06:50,699 --> 00:06:52,199
You were right, Dad.
108
00:06:52,267 --> 00:06:54,468
By not telling the teacher
that Jimmy cheated
109
00:06:54,536 --> 00:06:56,570
on the French test,
it's like I cheated.
110
00:06:56,638 --> 00:06:58,639
Well, as they say in Paris,
111
00:06:58,707 --> 00:07:01,676
"Ma voiture est pleine
de crème glacée."
112
00:07:01,743 --> 00:07:04,612
You just said, "My car
is full of ice cream."
113
00:07:07,516 --> 00:07:09,850
Dad, if I get an "A"
on my math test,
114
00:07:09,918 --> 00:07:11,252
would that be
worth some money?
115
00:07:13,255 --> 00:07:15,890
Well, in season two,
when Sam got good grades,
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00:07:15,958 --> 00:07:18,826
he got a very surprising reward.
117
00:07:18,894 --> 00:07:21,862
And if you do it, son,
you'll get the same.
118
00:07:21,930 --> 00:07:23,464
There's no way
that means anything
119
00:07:23,532 --> 00:07:25,232
other than I
get a minibike.
120
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:27,702
To the library!
121
00:07:30,472 --> 00:07:31,472
Hmm?
122
00:07:33,208 --> 00:07:34,041
Hmm...
123
00:07:57,232 --> 00:08:00,051
Aah!
'Tis the playground ghost!
124
00:08:00,118 --> 00:08:02,520
I swear I didn't mean
to kill ya!
125
00:08:02,587 --> 00:08:05,256
It's me, Willie-- Bart Simpson.
126
00:08:05,324 --> 00:08:06,791
Oh, oh, right.
127
00:08:08,643 --> 00:08:11,846
There's no such thing
as a playground ghost.
128
00:08:11,913 --> 00:08:14,098
How could you
mistake him for me?
129
00:08:14,182 --> 00:08:17,518
It was that sassy mouth that got
ye killed in the first place.
130
00:08:17,586 --> 00:08:19,286
TV ANNOUNCER:
Coming up next on Tube Town:
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00:08:19,354 --> 00:08:22,023
he's in your face
from outer space--
132
00:08:22,090 --> 00:08:24,191
Upscalien in Da House!
133
00:08:26,228 --> 00:08:28,596
♪ There once was an alien
whose mother called him Trey ♪
134
00:08:28,663 --> 00:08:31,165
♪ From the fanciest planet
in the Milky Way ♪
135
00:08:31,233 --> 00:08:33,367
♪ Stole his dad's ship,
took it for a trip ♪
136
00:08:33,435 --> 00:08:36,037
♪ Saw Lake Erie on his radar and
he thought he'd take a dip. ♪
137
00:08:38,306 --> 00:08:40,074
I did it. I got an "A"!
138
00:08:40,142 --> 00:08:41,008
That's great.
139
00:08:53,455 --> 00:08:55,923
Uh, Dad, if we could
get to the reward...?
140
00:08:55,991 --> 00:08:58,959
Son, you already
have your reward--
141
00:08:59,027 --> 00:09:02,730
the feeling of accomplishment
you can only get from hard work.
142
00:09:02,798 --> 00:09:03,798
What the...?!
143
00:09:03,865 --> 00:09:05,366
I wanted a minibike!
144
00:09:05,434 --> 00:09:07,201
I told all my friends
I was getting one.
145
00:09:07,269 --> 00:09:08,969
Well, if they care that much
146
00:09:09,037 --> 00:09:10,905
about whether you
have a minibike,
147
00:09:10,972 --> 00:09:12,373
then they weren't
really your friends.
148
00:09:12,441 --> 00:09:13,741
Yes, they were!
149
00:09:13,809 --> 00:09:15,042
But now they won't be!
150
00:09:15,110 --> 00:09:16,610
Because I don't
have a minibike!
151
00:09:17,712 --> 00:09:19,747
Hmm, if this were a TV show,
152
00:09:19,815 --> 00:09:22,049
that would be a hell
of an act break.
153
00:09:22,117 --> 00:09:24,852
But it could use a button.
154
00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:28,222
Oh, well, what if I said...
155
00:09:28,290 --> 00:09:29,857
Well, if you...
156
00:09:29,925 --> 00:09:31,158
Eh.
157
00:09:35,516 --> 00:09:38,351
We now return to I Lost Lucy.
158
00:09:38,419 --> 00:09:41,354
Mrs. Carbuncle,
I need you back at the bank.
159
00:09:41,422 --> 00:09:44,600
Robert Wagner is coming in
to open a checking account.
160
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,852
Yah still see that
crow on shows sometimez.
161
00:09:52,247 --> 00:09:53,714
Coming up on Tube Town:
162
00:09:53,782 --> 00:09:55,983
the '80s classic,
Supreme Courtney.
163
00:09:56,051 --> 00:09:59,620
...according to the principle
sublato fundamento, cadit opus,
164
00:09:59,688 --> 00:10:02,590
we need to look at Hargrove
v. the State of New York,
165
00:10:02,658 --> 00:10:04,459
in which the court
firmly adhered to the...
166
00:10:09,865 --> 00:10:11,466
Stupid jerk.
167
00:10:11,533 --> 00:10:13,334
He owes me a minibike,
and I am going to get it.
168
00:10:18,207 --> 00:10:19,740
Hey, Apu.
169
00:10:19,808 --> 00:10:21,609
Mr. Homer, you
inadvertently left
170
00:10:21,677 --> 00:10:24,979
your nuclear plant security
badge in the birthday card rack.
171
00:10:25,047 --> 00:10:26,447
Can't lose that.
172
00:10:26,515 --> 00:10:28,516
It's the best picture
of me I have.
173
00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:30,551
Well, I am more concerned
with global terrorism.
174
00:10:30,619 --> 00:10:32,520
America's enemies
would give anything
175
00:10:32,588 --> 00:10:34,355
for your nuclear
knowledge.
176
00:10:34,423 --> 00:10:37,725
Yeah, I do know
a lot about nuclears.
177
00:10:37,793 --> 00:10:40,862
And America has so many
Iran, Iraq,
178
00:10:40,929 --> 00:10:43,397
China, Mordor,
179
00:10:43,465 --> 00:10:45,266
the hoochies that
laid low Tiger Woods,
180
00:10:45,334 --> 00:10:48,069
undesirable immigrants,
by which I mean
181
00:10:48,137 --> 00:10:51,038
everyone that came after me,
including my children...
182
00:10:51,106 --> 00:10:54,475
...so I'm offering to trade
your country nuclear secrets
183
00:10:54,543 --> 00:10:56,944
for a minibike.
184
00:10:57,012 --> 00:11:00,014
Concludingly yours,
Bart Simpson.
185
00:11:09,992 --> 00:11:12,460
Hmm... hmm!
186
00:11:12,528 --> 00:11:15,696
Marge, would you like a Thicker
Than Waters collectible plate?
187
00:11:15,764 --> 00:11:18,666
Homer, you can't order
anything from that magazine.
188
00:11:18,734 --> 00:11:20,635
It's 25 years old.
189
00:11:20,702 --> 00:11:22,436
Oh, yeah? I'll show you.
190
00:11:22,504 --> 00:11:25,907
"TV Guide Offer,
One World Trade Center..."
191
00:11:25,974 --> 00:11:27,308
Did I get
any mail today, Mom?
192
00:11:27,376 --> 00:11:30,244
Uh, well, of course you did.
193
00:11:30,312 --> 00:11:31,445
A gutter
cleaning coupon?
194
00:11:32,848 --> 00:11:34,615
Hey, they're
your gutters, too.
195
00:11:34,683 --> 00:11:35,950
Oh!
196
00:11:39,471 --> 00:11:40,588
Huh?
197
00:11:47,596 --> 00:11:49,363
You must've found out
about my letters.
198
00:11:50,632 --> 00:11:52,200
They were just a joke.
199
00:11:52,267 --> 00:11:53,734
Really?
That's too bad.
200
00:11:53,802 --> 00:11:55,970
Because we are very
interested in your offer.
201
00:11:59,208 --> 00:12:00,841
Uh, you're just lucky
we picked you up
202
00:12:00,909 --> 00:12:02,310
before the FBI got to you.
203
00:12:05,881 --> 00:12:09,417
Another disgrace for the
French Bureau of Investigation.
204
00:12:11,153 --> 00:12:13,888
Don't forget us,
the A-Team of Finland.
205
00:12:13,955 --> 00:12:17,258
I pity the fool who messes
with B.A. Backstrom.
206
00:12:24,446 --> 00:12:25,880
We accept your offer.
207
00:12:25,948 --> 00:12:27,815
The secrets from
your father's nuclear plant
208
00:12:27,883 --> 00:12:29,917
for one
Street Assassin minibike.
209
00:12:31,220 --> 00:12:32,120
Just transfer everything
210
00:12:32,187 --> 00:12:32,987
to this flash drive.
211
00:12:35,157 --> 00:12:36,624
I don't know.
212
00:12:36,692 --> 00:12:38,726
Can I really betray my country?
213
00:12:38,794 --> 00:12:41,562
I say the
Pledge of Allegiance every day.
214
00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:43,364
You pledge allegiance
to the flag.
215
00:12:43,432 --> 00:12:45,133
And the flag is
made in China.
216
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,135
Hmph.
217
00:12:47,202 --> 00:12:49,370
We return
to "Thicker Than Waters,"
218
00:12:49,438 --> 00:12:51,672
the E! True Hollywood Story."
219
00:12:51,740 --> 00:12:54,075
Digby Sheridan,
who played Patrick,
220
00:12:54,143 --> 00:12:56,477
had enormous problems
with the show.
221
00:12:56,545 --> 00:12:58,413
Crap, total crap.
222
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,348
You, writer,
what's your name?
223
00:13:00,416 --> 00:13:02,250
Um, David Mamet.
224
00:13:02,317 --> 00:13:05,086
Well, Mr. Mamet,
why don't you learn
225
00:13:05,154 --> 00:13:07,021
how to
write a script!
226
00:13:09,158 --> 00:13:10,992
Hmm... .
227
00:13:11,059 --> 00:13:12,226
I could use that.
228
00:13:18,767 --> 00:13:23,204
Dad, I was thinking
about it, and you're right.
229
00:13:23,272 --> 00:13:25,206
You shouldn't buy me
something I didn't earn.
230
00:13:25,274 --> 00:13:26,941
And because you gave me
the tough love
231
00:13:27,009 --> 00:13:29,243
I didn't know I needed,
I'm gonna be spending
232
00:13:29,311 --> 00:13:30,878
lots and lots
more time with you.
233
00:13:30,946 --> 00:13:32,980
Aw.
234
00:13:33,048 --> 00:13:35,516
He's buying it.
235
00:13:35,584 --> 00:13:37,585
I'm buying it!
236
00:13:37,653 --> 00:13:41,255
♪ Cherish that family smile ♪
237
00:13:41,323 --> 00:13:46,461
♪ Picket fence days
don't last forever ♪
238
00:13:46,528 --> 00:13:50,198
♪ The future is coming up ♪
239
00:13:50,265 --> 00:13:51,666
♪ Mom and Dad ♪
240
00:13:51,733 --> 00:13:56,604
♪ And kids are precious. ♪
241
00:13:56,672 --> 00:13:58,973
I love visiting you
at work, Dad.
242
00:13:59,041 --> 00:14:01,476
And I love having
you here, son.
243
00:14:01,543 --> 00:14:03,811
'Cause you can wake me
up if somebody comes.
244
00:14:22,898 --> 00:14:24,198
Check this out, Bart.
245
00:14:24,266 --> 00:14:26,200
One of those retinal
scan dealies.
246
00:14:26,268 --> 00:14:30,738
It only opens to my
eye or an exact copy.
247
00:14:36,512 --> 00:14:39,146
Let's see if this works.
248
00:14:45,888 --> 00:14:47,955
Ooh! Damn, that hurt!
249
00:14:48,023 --> 00:14:49,490
I'll just use my eye.
250
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,228
Sweet dreams, boy.
251
00:14:54,296 --> 00:14:56,531
They will be if
you're in 'em, Pops.
252
00:15:13,348 --> 00:15:15,516
Aw, they gave me
my own vanity plate.
253
00:15:33,368 --> 00:15:37,071
You're gonna love
meeting my friends.
254
00:15:39,274 --> 00:15:41,075
Where the hell
did that come from?
255
00:15:41,143 --> 00:15:42,810
It's from me, son.
256
00:15:42,878 --> 00:15:44,312
Want me to take it
up to your bed
257
00:15:44,379 --> 00:15:45,346
so you can snuggle with it?
258
00:15:45,414 --> 00:15:46,614
No!
259
00:15:46,682 --> 00:15:48,616
Why in the world
would you get me this?
260
00:15:48,684 --> 00:15:50,985
Because you've been
such a great kid lately,
261
00:15:51,053 --> 00:15:53,688
and I wanted to show you
I appreciated it.
262
00:15:53,755 --> 00:15:54,956
Oh.
263
00:15:55,023 --> 00:15:57,425
That's great.
264
00:15:57,492 --> 00:16:01,262
I wouldn't trade it for
all the tea in... China...
265
00:16:01,330 --> 00:16:03,364
Something wrong, Bart?
266
00:16:03,432 --> 00:16:06,634
You betrayed your
country for no reason.
267
00:16:06,702 --> 00:16:09,670
Now you're gonna see
stars and stripes forever!
268
00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:26,972
I've got summer squash!
269
00:16:27,039 --> 00:16:29,841
Mm, the boy's
acting really weird.
270
00:16:29,909 --> 00:16:31,877
I did everything
that TV show told me to,
271
00:16:31,944 --> 00:16:33,612
and he's still not happy.
272
00:16:33,679 --> 00:16:37,249
Well, maybe you shouldn't listen
to a 30-year-old TV show
273
00:16:37,316 --> 00:16:38,750
that only got on the air
274
00:16:38,818 --> 00:16:40,218
'cause the creator
had evidence
275
00:16:40,286 --> 00:16:42,721
the network president
ran over a guy.
276
00:16:42,789 --> 00:16:44,956
Where's he going?
277
00:16:51,497 --> 00:16:55,951
Why on earth would a child
go to the zoo?
278
00:17:05,761 --> 00:17:07,829
It's still here. Yes!
279
00:17:07,897 --> 00:17:10,632
I get the flash drive back
and the manila envelope!
280
00:17:12,919 --> 00:17:15,387
Aha! Typical
American treachery!
281
00:17:15,454 --> 00:17:17,789
I can't believe a boy
who would betray his country
282
00:17:17,857 --> 00:17:19,024
would betray
a different country.
283
00:17:19,091 --> 00:17:20,258
Unbelievable!
284
00:17:20,326 --> 00:17:21,493
Terrible!
285
00:17:21,561 --> 00:17:23,094
Masters, I can explain.
286
00:17:23,162 --> 00:17:24,095
Explain nothing!
287
00:17:24,163 --> 00:17:25,363
Hand over the flash drive.
288
00:17:28,634 --> 00:17:30,702
Then you leave
us no choice.
289
00:17:30,770 --> 00:17:31,870
A teddy bear?!
290
00:17:31,938 --> 00:17:34,940
A teddy bear
made in China.
291
00:17:44,684 --> 00:17:45,851
Step away from the traitor!
292
00:17:45,918 --> 00:17:47,352
Dad!
293
00:17:47,420 --> 00:17:49,521
The boy's flash drive
may be in there,
294
00:17:49,589 --> 00:17:53,325
but I've got a lifetime
of nuclear secrets up here.
295
00:17:54,927 --> 00:17:56,494
Okay, but don't
read our subtitles.
296
00:18:14,313 --> 00:18:15,780
I know what
you're saying.
297
00:18:15,848 --> 00:18:18,049
I understand food talk
in every language!
298
00:18:20,486 --> 00:18:23,922
American fatso, your knowledge
helped us build this plant.
299
00:18:23,990 --> 00:18:25,690
We would like you
to have the honor
300
00:18:25,758 --> 00:18:28,059
of cutting
the ceremonial ribbon.
301
00:18:31,631 --> 00:18:35,433
Um, I'll see myself out.
302
00:18:37,770 --> 00:18:41,106
Okay, who can take me to
the airport for less than $20?
303
00:18:45,144 --> 00:18:47,445
I can stand here all day.
304
00:18:47,513 --> 00:18:50,248
Oh, my feet hurt.
305
00:18:51,817 --> 00:18:53,852
You know, Dad,
I really did have
306
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:55,620
a good time
hanging out with you.
307
00:18:55,688 --> 00:18:59,391
Well, now it's time for
the best kind of bonding--
308
00:18:59,458 --> 00:19:01,860
sitting next to each
other in silence,
309
00:19:01,928 --> 00:19:04,796
staring blankly
at the TV.
310
00:19:04,864 --> 00:19:08,500
♪ They fight and fight,
they fight and fight and fight ♪
311
00:19:08,567 --> 00:19:09,768
♪ Fight-fight-fight,
fight-fight-fight! ♪
312
00:19:41,133 --> 00:19:42,467
It's good enough.
313
00:19:42,535 --> 00:19:44,736
Let's go home.
314
00:19:44,804 --> 00:19:48,406
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
315
00:19:51,978 --> 00:19:53,945
Rebecca,
you briefly inspired
316
00:19:54,013 --> 00:19:56,047
the hairstyle called
"The Lizzie."
317
00:19:56,115 --> 00:19:58,383
Is "The Lizzie"
with us here tonight?
318
00:19:58,451 --> 00:20:00,385
I was clear with your people
319
00:20:00,453 --> 00:20:02,887
that I would not recreate
"The Lizzie."
320
00:20:02,955 --> 00:20:05,857
Oh, but "The Lizzie"
is here.
321
00:20:05,925 --> 00:20:07,892
"I shouldn't judge my prom date
322
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,028
"just because
he's in a wheelchair.
323
00:20:10,096 --> 00:20:13,999
I should judge him
by who he is in here."
324
00:20:14,066 --> 00:20:15,600
The family hugs.
325
00:20:15,668 --> 00:20:16,434
Ew.
326
00:20:16,502 --> 00:20:17,969
I slept with
327
00:20:18,037 --> 00:20:20,305
everyone in the cast,
including the dog.
328
00:20:20,373 --> 00:20:22,407
To quote Matthew Perry
from Friends,
329
00:20:22,475 --> 00:20:25,176
"too much information."
330
00:20:25,244 --> 00:20:27,245
And to quote Dwayne
from What's Happening,
331
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:30,615
"Hey... Hey... Hey."
332
00:20:34,954 --> 00:20:38,256
♪ Cherish that family smile ♪
333
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:43,495
♪ Picket fence days
don't something-something ♪
334
00:20:43,562 --> 00:20:46,898
♪ The future is coming soon ♪
335
00:20:46,966 --> 00:20:49,834
♪ Mom and Dad and kids ♪
336
00:20:49,902 --> 00:20:53,763
♪ Are something. ♪
337
00:20:56,662 --> 00:20:58,630
My favorite song now.
338
00:20:58,697 --> 00:21:01,666
Sorry, "Don't Fear The Reaper."
339
00:21:04,470 --> 00:21:06,905
Everybody! Air guitar!
340
00:21:06,972 --> 00:21:08,773
Come on, do it with me.
341
00:21:08,841 --> 00:21:10,909
Use your whammy bar! Whoo!
Now fuzz it up!
342
00:21:13,245 --> 00:21:15,046
Excellent.