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00:00:08,345 --> 00:00:09,778
D'oh!
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00:00:29,099 --> 00:00:32,234
♪ ♪
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00:00:56,226 --> 00:01:00,127
♪ The Simpsons 22x06 ♪
The Fool Monty
Original Air Date on November 21, 2010
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00:01:00,096 --> 00:01:02,731
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
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00:01:02,799 --> 00:01:05,100
♪ ♪
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00:01:10,617 --> 00:01:12,018
PILOT
We're unbalanced!
7
00:01:12,085 --> 00:01:13,419
It's not fair!
8
00:01:18,091 --> 00:01:20,359
I'd like to call to order
this secret conclave
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00:01:20,427 --> 00:01:21,927
of America's media empires.
10
00:01:21,995 --> 00:01:23,529
We are here to come up with
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00:01:23,597 --> 00:01:25,364
the next phony
baloney crisis
12
00:01:25,432 --> 00:01:27,066
to put Americans back
where they belong--
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00:01:27,134 --> 00:01:29,101
in dark rooms,
glued to their televisions,
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00:01:29,169 --> 00:01:30,936
too terrified to skip
the commercials.
15
00:01:31,004 --> 00:01:32,738
Well, I think...
NBC, you are here
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00:01:32,806 --> 00:01:34,874
to listen and not speak!
17
00:01:34,941 --> 00:01:36,876
I think we should go with
a good old-fashioned
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00:01:36,943 --> 00:01:37,943
public health scare.
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00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,547
A new disease!
No one's immune!
20
00:01:41,615 --> 00:01:42,915
It's like the summer
of the shark,
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00:01:42,983 --> 00:01:44,917
except instead of a shark,
it's an epidemic...
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00:01:44,985 --> 00:01:46,952
and instead of summer,
it's all the time!
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00:01:47,020 --> 00:01:48,187
That is smokin'!
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00:01:48,255 --> 00:01:50,056
Now I hate to be
the guy who derails
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00:01:50,123 --> 00:01:51,257
what everybody else loves...
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00:01:51,324 --> 00:01:53,225
He loves being that guy.
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00:01:53,293 --> 00:01:55,895
But, Janice,
we do have standards.
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00:01:55,962 --> 00:01:57,797
This can't be
a made-up disease.
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00:01:57,864 --> 00:01:59,632
The only moral thing to do
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00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:02,334
is release a deadly virus
into the general public.
31
00:02:02,402 --> 00:02:04,537
We do have something
we've been holding onto,
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00:02:04,604 --> 00:02:05,771
but it hasn't been tested.
33
00:02:05,839 --> 00:02:07,139
Get over here, NBC.
34
00:02:07,207 --> 00:02:11,243
Well, we certainly
believe in testing,
35
00:02:11,311 --> 00:02:13,312
but I... Oh!
36
00:02:15,215 --> 00:02:17,516
Wow. Wow!
Oh, yeah!
37
00:02:17,584 --> 00:02:19,652
So, we've got
our deadly disease.
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00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,921
Now we just have to
blame it on something
39
00:02:21,988 --> 00:02:24,090
that's in every household...
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00:02:24,157 --> 00:02:26,726
something that people are a
little bit afraid of already.
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00:02:26,793 --> 00:02:29,361
Housecat Flu is coming, people!
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00:02:29,429 --> 00:02:30,863
The Center for Disease
Disinformation predicts
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00:02:30,931 --> 00:02:32,531
with some degree of probability
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00:02:32,599 --> 00:02:35,434
that the Housecat Flu might
spread in the following
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00:02:35,502 --> 00:02:37,002
hypothetical outbreak pattern.
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00:02:38,638 --> 00:02:42,007
So petter beware, that warm body
on your lap just might be
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00:02:42,075 --> 00:02:44,443
ready to destroy
your tender vittles.
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00:02:50,584 --> 00:02:53,519
Springfielders are advised to
stay tuned for more information
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00:02:53,587 --> 00:02:55,521
if they experience any of the
following symptoms:
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00:02:55,589 --> 00:02:58,657
mild thirst, occasional hunger,
tiredness at night...
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00:03:00,260 --> 00:03:03,329
You know, I don't know when this
was ever a good idea.
52
00:03:12,139 --> 00:03:13,489
Hurry up, boy!
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00:03:13,557 --> 00:03:15,591
We have to burn
everything the cat touched,
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00:03:15,659 --> 00:03:18,077
before the virus
makes us paranoid!
55
00:03:22,382 --> 00:03:23,849
Homer!
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00:03:23,917 --> 00:03:26,152
Stop burning!
57
00:03:26,219 --> 00:03:28,954
They have a vaccine!
58
00:03:29,022 --> 00:03:31,757
All right.
We'll get the vaccine.
59
00:03:34,928 --> 00:03:37,797
Homer, did you know
he was in the pile?
60
00:03:37,864 --> 00:03:40,499
I thought he was
an old clump of rags.
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00:03:43,770 --> 00:03:45,037
Don't worry, people.
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00:03:45,105 --> 00:03:47,273
We have enough
vaccines for...
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00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:49,675
one child per family.
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00:03:49,743 --> 00:03:51,443
I don't even have a kid
that I admit to having.
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00:03:51,511 --> 00:03:53,746
Please use your time
in line wisely
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00:03:53,814 --> 00:03:56,015
to "Sophie's Choice" your child.
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00:03:56,082 --> 00:03:57,983
What a crook!
68
00:04:02,956 --> 00:04:04,824
This isn't the line
for a movie.
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00:04:04,891 --> 00:04:06,592
Why are you wearing
that costume?
70
00:04:06,660 --> 00:04:10,596
Because, you see, I am afraid of
needles, but Wolverine is not.
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00:04:10,664 --> 00:04:12,581
Snikt! Snikt!
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00:04:15,886 --> 00:04:17,920
Need...
acceptable currency... Ooh...
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00:04:18,004 --> 00:04:20,172
for delicious treat... Ooh!
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00:04:26,046 --> 00:04:28,214
Mr. Burns?
Where's he going?
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00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:37,289
Yes, I'd like 37 snifters
of your influenza syrup.
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00:04:37,357 --> 00:04:41,393
One for me, one for Smithers
here and the rest for my hounds.
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00:04:41,461 --> 00:04:45,097
Give him what he wants. He's the
only taxpayer in this town.
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00:04:45,165 --> 00:04:47,867
But Mr. Mayor, these people
have waited in line.
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00:04:47,934 --> 00:04:49,835
And dogs can't even
get the disease.
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00:04:49,903 --> 00:04:52,738
They'll see me take it
and they'll want some.
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00:04:52,806 --> 00:04:56,175
Yes 'oo will. Yes 'oo will,
you little jelly belly.
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00:04:56,243 --> 00:04:58,210
Sir, perhaps we should
get out of here,
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before people start
resenting you.
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00:05:01,481 --> 00:05:05,050
Hooh! Hurry up and get in!
I'll drive.
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00:05:11,091 --> 00:05:13,192
Hurry, everyone!
Roll in the shards!
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Come on! Like this!
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Healthy.
Gettin' healthy. Ow!
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00:05:19,366 --> 00:05:22,101
Gettin' healthy...
and very sleepy.
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00:05:29,442 --> 00:05:31,010
Ahh!
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00:05:31,077 --> 00:05:33,746
I feel as hail
and hearty as an eohippus.
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00:05:33,813 --> 00:05:37,516
Eh, Mr. Burns, I did a little
blood work earlier today
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00:05:37,584 --> 00:05:40,719
and I'm afraid I've got
a bit of hard news.
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00:05:40,787 --> 00:05:42,721
Spit it out, Doctor!
I haven't got all day.
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00:05:42,789 --> 00:05:44,356
Eh, you certainly don't.
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00:05:44,424 --> 00:05:46,625
You see, I'm
afraid you're dying.
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00:05:46,693 --> 00:05:48,494
Dying?!
97
00:05:48,561 --> 00:05:51,163
Yes. It's a number
of factors, really:
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00:05:51,231 --> 00:05:54,566
whooping cough, hectic fever,
cancrum otis,
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00:05:54,634 --> 00:05:59,672
Wellington's ooze, the Lambeth
plague, and skull collapse.
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00:05:59,739 --> 00:06:01,674
How long do I have?
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00:06:01,741 --> 00:06:04,310
Five, six weeks tops.
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00:06:04,377 --> 00:06:05,811
You might live to see
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00:06:05,879 --> 00:06:08,514
the Wheat-Eared Warbler return
to Swinton Park.
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00:06:08,581 --> 00:06:10,883
But I wouldn't count on it.
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00:06:12,252 --> 00:06:14,720
You... want me to tell
the employees, sir?
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No. It's better that
they hear it from me.
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I'll tell them the truth
in the simplest way I know how.
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Aw, why did Burns
make us all come here?
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I bet he's got something
up his sleeve.
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I don't like that he hired
a band to play ominous music.
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00:06:50,290 --> 00:06:53,692
Good evening. I have very sad
news for all of you.
112
00:06:55,729 --> 00:06:58,330
Or maybe he's going to
jack up our electric rates.
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Whew! I will have to
hand-crank my wiener warmer.
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00:07:02,002 --> 00:07:05,437
Hand-crank my wiener warmer!
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00:07:05,505 --> 00:07:07,539
The truth is...
I'm dying.
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Hell, yeah!
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Finally, a break
for the black man!
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This better not
be a gag!
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It's not!
My days are Roman-numeraled!
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Stop this!
Stop this at once, or I'll...
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Or what? You're just gonna
die soon anyway!
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I'm warning you!
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You are making a
very powerful temporary enemy!
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Sir, you'd better not
rile them up.
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The first course is oysters on the half shell.
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I see.
I'm well and truly hated.
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00:07:39,239 --> 00:07:41,473
However, you will
change your tune
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00:07:41,541 --> 00:07:43,976
when you see the legacy
I'm leaving behind me.
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00:07:44,044 --> 00:07:46,145
I'm leaving all my money
to an orchard
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00:07:46,212 --> 00:07:50,682
that will grow inedible
"me"-shaped fruits.
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They're as addictive
as they are poisonous.
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Melt his ice sculpture!
133
00:08:03,663 --> 00:08:05,130
It's starting to drip!
134
00:08:06,433 --> 00:08:10,169
♪ La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la... ♪
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I haven't a friend
in the world.
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00:08:12,305 --> 00:08:13,639
You have me, sir.
137
00:08:13,706 --> 00:08:15,240
I pay you, Smithers.
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00:08:15,308 --> 00:08:17,009
No kind of love can come
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00:08:17,077 --> 00:08:18,143
from one man
paying another.
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00:08:18,211 --> 00:08:19,411
Well, but there's...
141
00:08:19,479 --> 00:08:21,246
I'll just retire to my bed.
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00:08:21,314 --> 00:08:24,917
Uh... that's where we put
everyone's coats.
143
00:08:24,984 --> 00:08:27,753
Shred them in the wood chipper,
and use the rags to wax my car.
144
00:08:34,227 --> 00:08:37,196
Why does everyone hate me?
145
00:08:52,180 --> 00:08:54,315
Sir, what are
you doing?
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00:08:54,383 --> 00:08:58,986
Smithers, I want to die quietly,
on my own terms...
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00:08:59,054 --> 00:09:03,224
crushing as many of those baby
sea turtles as I possibly can.
148
00:09:03,291 --> 00:09:05,760
Good-bye,
insufficiently cruel world!
149
00:09:05,827 --> 00:09:07,762
Oh, no...
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00:09:07,829 --> 00:09:09,964
♪ ♪
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00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:35,643
Anthill, wasp nest,
moose poop, Mr. Burns...
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00:09:35,710 --> 00:09:36,944
Mr. Burns?!
153
00:09:38,413 --> 00:09:40,281
My poop stick has
brought him back to life!
154
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But which end?
155
00:09:44,185 --> 00:09:45,052
What do you want?
156
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,288
Come on, man, leave me alone.
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Friend?
158
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You my mommy-daddy-puppy?
159
00:09:52,227 --> 00:09:54,561
Whoa! Your brains
have turned to oatmeal!
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00:09:54,629 --> 00:09:56,797
My name Oatmeal?
161
00:09:56,865 --> 00:09:59,099
This is too weird, man.
162
00:09:59,167 --> 00:10:02,253
Wait for Oatmeal!
163
00:10:11,112 --> 00:10:14,014
Oh! What am I gonna
do with you?
164
00:10:16,651 --> 00:10:18,585
Look, I know
you're cool now,
165
00:10:18,653 --> 00:10:20,654
but my dad hates you
more than celery,
166
00:10:20,722 --> 00:10:23,824
and my mom said no new pets,
so I'm hiding you in my room.
167
00:10:23,892 --> 00:10:26,593
Oatmeal accept premise.
168
00:10:26,661 --> 00:10:28,629
Bart, who are you talking to?
169
00:10:33,635 --> 00:10:35,803
And what's all that noise?
170
00:10:35,870 --> 00:10:38,138
Ah, I'm playing with my
Sergeant Activity Doll.
171
00:10:38,206 --> 00:10:40,207
Why not buy another of me?
172
00:10:42,711 --> 00:10:44,611
Hmm.
173
00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:51,218
Well, okay.
174
00:10:59,194 --> 00:11:01,195
Okay, okay!
I'll find you some food.
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00:11:01,262 --> 00:11:04,064
Me not feel good.
176
00:11:10,038 --> 00:11:12,139
Hey pal, you look like
you lost your best friend.
177
00:11:12,207 --> 00:11:14,308
Mm. He was
more than a friend.
178
00:11:14,376 --> 00:11:17,311
He was the reason I got up
in the morning.
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00:11:17,379 --> 00:11:20,014
Because he would inject me
with coffee at 6:00 a.m.
180
00:11:20,081 --> 00:11:22,116
in the back of the head.
181
00:11:22,183 --> 00:11:24,818
My new boss
will never take his place!
182
00:11:24,886 --> 00:11:26,754
New boss, huh?
What's he like?
183
00:11:26,821 --> 00:11:30,424
Oh, a lot like my old boss.
184
00:11:30,492 --> 00:11:31,959
Ruthless.
Went to Yale.
185
00:11:32,027 --> 00:11:33,861
Made a fortune in energy.
186
00:11:33,928 --> 00:11:35,929
Basically hairless.
Oh, yeah.
187
00:11:35,997 --> 00:11:37,965
He likes to stack men naked.
188
00:11:38,033 --> 00:11:39,266
I guess that's a start.
189
00:11:43,004 --> 00:11:47,374
A philanthropist, a
humanitarian, a man of peace...
190
00:11:47,442 --> 00:11:49,560
these are among the people
who've come today
191
00:11:49,627 --> 00:11:51,729
to spit in Montgomery Burns'
open grave.
192
00:11:53,715 --> 00:11:56,550
The fact that Burns'
37-pound body was never found
193
00:11:56,618 --> 00:11:59,653
did nothing to lessen the
salivary salvos.
194
00:11:59,721 --> 00:12:01,688
Hold, please.
195
00:12:03,425 --> 00:12:05,092
You may continue.
196
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,162
I hope they use that spit
for a good cause,
197
00:12:08,229 --> 00:12:10,164
like sealing
wedding envelopes.
198
00:12:10,231 --> 00:12:13,267
Or helping a railroad worker
grip his sledgehammer!
199
00:12:13,334 --> 00:12:15,469
Now they're dancing
on his grave!
200
00:12:15,537 --> 00:12:17,020
Dance, you sons of bitches!
201
00:12:17,088 --> 00:12:19,239
Dance like it's me down there!
202
00:12:19,307 --> 00:12:22,176
Thank God Mr. Burns
isn't alive to see this.
203
00:12:22,243 --> 00:12:23,477
Come back!
204
00:12:23,545 --> 00:12:25,979
I'm not finished
giving you your bath!
205
00:12:38,332 --> 00:12:40,366
Attack during their
sacred holiday!
206
00:12:42,736 --> 00:12:45,452
Hmm, apparently Mr. Burns
is in a state of shock
207
00:12:45,552 --> 00:12:47,052
from the trauma
he underwent.
208
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,654
Oh man, this is great!
209
00:12:48,721 --> 00:12:51,323
The most evil man in town
is in our power.
210
00:12:53,526 --> 00:12:55,160
He will do my bidding...
211
00:12:55,228 --> 00:12:57,996
at that fantasy football
auction.
212
00:12:58,064 --> 00:13:02,568
And anything else my limited
imagination can come up with.
213
00:13:10,043 --> 00:13:12,177
Just because Mr. Burns
was mean to you,
214
00:13:12,245 --> 00:13:15,447
that doesn't give you the right
to abuse him when he's helpless.
215
00:13:15,515 --> 00:13:17,749
Marge, it's the golden rule:
216
00:13:17,817 --> 00:13:20,319
treat others the way
they mess with you.
217
00:13:20,386 --> 00:13:22,154
It's not up to you.
218
00:13:22,222 --> 00:13:24,590
We're going to take him
to our moral and civic leaders.
219
00:13:24,657 --> 00:13:26,458
They'll know
the right thing to do.
220
00:13:26,526 --> 00:13:29,094
All those in favor
of treating Mr. Burns
221
00:13:29,162 --> 00:13:31,530
the way he messed
with us, say "aye."
222
00:13:31,598 --> 00:13:33,866
Aye!
People of Springfield!
223
00:13:33,933 --> 00:13:35,601
To quote Shakespeare,
224
00:13:35,668 --> 00:13:38,537
"The quality of mercy
is not strained."
225
00:13:38,605 --> 00:13:39,338
Boo!
226
00:13:39,405 --> 00:13:41,006
You know, it takes a lot
227
00:13:41,074 --> 00:13:44,309
for an eight-year-old to stand
up in front of the whole town!
228
00:13:44,377 --> 00:13:47,479
Eight-year-old? I always
thought you were a midget!
229
00:13:47,547 --> 00:13:51,450
We're called "little people,"
and I'm not one.
230
00:13:51,518 --> 00:13:53,485
People of Springfield,
as a nerd,
231
00:13:53,553 --> 00:13:56,555
I understand your desire
for revenge,
232
00:13:56,623 --> 00:13:59,124
but this sweet, harmless man
233
00:13:59,192 --> 00:14:03,228
is not the same remorseless
monster who tormented us all.
234
00:14:03,296 --> 00:14:04,930
He's close enough!
235
00:14:04,998 --> 00:14:06,765
Yeah, Seaside Heights
ain't Maui,
236
00:14:06,833 --> 00:14:09,334
but, uh, you take
what you can get. Whoa!
237
00:14:14,707 --> 00:14:17,142
You done pullin' the wings
off of those bees?
238
00:14:17,210 --> 00:14:19,144
Almost, Mr. Vice President.
239
00:14:19,212 --> 00:14:21,480
May I ask why I'm doing this?
240
00:14:21,548 --> 00:14:23,515
I don't know.
I'm bored.
241
00:14:23,583 --> 00:14:25,551
When my old boss got bored,
he liked to listen
242
00:14:25,618 --> 00:14:28,153
to Thomas Edison reciting
"Mary Had a Little Lamb"
243
00:14:28,221 --> 00:14:29,388
on a wax cylinder.
244
00:14:29,455 --> 00:14:31,823
What do you think I am,
1,000 years old?
245
00:14:31,891 --> 00:14:34,760
I got a myPod
full of Lee Greenwood.
246
00:14:41,267 --> 00:14:43,602
Now boy, everyone
in town gets Burns
247
00:14:43,670 --> 00:14:45,871
for half an hour
to do as they will.
248
00:14:45,939 --> 00:14:48,974
This town can't teach its kids
or collect its garbage,
249
00:14:49,042 --> 00:14:51,777
but we lead the nation in
pointless revenge.
250
00:14:51,844 --> 00:14:54,479
Amen.
Oh!
251
00:14:54,547 --> 00:14:57,249
Okay, Burnsie,
follow the carrot!
252
00:15:12,532 --> 00:15:14,866
Dad! You're gonna
wreck him for everybody!
253
00:15:14,934 --> 00:15:18,070
Don't worry, boy.
Another girder always swings in
254
00:15:18,137 --> 00:15:20,973
for you to walk on right
when you get to the end.
255
00:15:24,344 --> 00:15:25,594
Where's the other girder?
256
00:15:25,678 --> 00:15:26,545
Ow!
257
00:15:27,981 --> 00:15:29,932
Okay, here's your choice:
258
00:15:29,999 --> 00:15:32,534
cash in my hands
or blood on the jerky.
259
00:15:32,602 --> 00:15:35,721
I believe you want
the assistant manager, sir.
260
00:15:35,788 --> 00:15:38,590
Oh, I can't shoot him.
I've got him next.
261
00:15:38,658 --> 00:15:41,293
Well, that is your bad luck,
because he is mine right now.
262
00:15:41,361 --> 00:15:43,829
Come back in half an hour.
He can be your accomplice.
263
00:15:43,896 --> 00:15:45,697
I was going to
take him ice skating.
264
00:15:45,765 --> 00:15:46,632
What was that?
265
00:15:46,699 --> 00:15:47,532
Nothing.
266
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,334
What was that?
Ice skating?
267
00:15:49,402 --> 00:15:51,937
Do you do axels
and Salchows?
268
00:15:52,005 --> 00:15:53,739
What do you do?
269
00:15:55,808 --> 00:15:59,211
Check out my new dad!
Sorry, lame-o!
270
00:15:59,279 --> 00:16:02,881
It's 2:00, which makes him my
Uncle Ed for an hour.
271
00:16:02,949 --> 00:16:05,951
No, it's Saturday, which makes
him that guy at the Youth Center
272
00:16:06,019 --> 00:16:07,653
who really believes in me.
273
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:10,389
There's still time for me to
turn my life around, right?
274
00:16:11,824 --> 00:16:14,326
It's not that easy, man!
275
00:16:19,332 --> 00:16:20,165
All yours.
276
00:16:20,233 --> 00:16:21,600
What did you do with him?
277
00:16:21,668 --> 00:16:23,869
Found a way
to use him as a bong.
278
00:16:30,176 --> 00:16:32,878
Dad, Mr. Burns is here
for you again.
279
00:16:32,945 --> 00:16:34,579
Already?
280
00:16:34,647 --> 00:16:36,915
A little tired of revenge,
are we?
281
00:16:36,983 --> 00:16:41,053
Yeah, I've done all I can do
in that medium.
282
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,922
All right. Mr. Burns,
I'm going to show you
283
00:16:43,990 --> 00:16:47,059
that not all of us in this town
are vindictive and cruel.
284
00:16:47,126 --> 00:16:49,394
Not today.
285
00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:56,852
I thought,
after all you went through,
286
00:16:56,936 --> 00:16:58,770
you just might want to
spend an hour
287
00:16:58,821 --> 00:17:00,689
in a place where
you felt at home.
288
00:17:00,773 --> 00:17:02,874
Lots of room for friends.
289
00:17:02,942 --> 00:17:06,611
Actually, sir, the man who lived
here didn't have many friends.
290
00:17:06,679 --> 00:17:09,381
But you're a better person
than he ever was.
291
00:17:14,020 --> 00:17:15,654
That's me!
292
00:17:15,722 --> 00:17:17,522
Yes, technically it's you.
293
00:17:17,590 --> 00:17:19,257
But like I said,
people change.
294
00:17:19,325 --> 00:17:22,127
And they can also
bloody well change back!
295
00:17:25,865 --> 00:17:28,667
Daddy's home.
296
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:38,814
I don't have time for the
papers, Smithers.
297
00:17:38,882 --> 00:17:41,317
Any terrorist attacks on
American soil today?
298
00:17:41,384 --> 00:17:44,119
I'm sorry, but no.
Oh...
299
00:17:44,187 --> 00:17:45,588
Smithers!
300
00:17:45,655 --> 00:17:48,657
Trading me in
for a younger model, I see.
301
00:17:48,725 --> 00:17:50,459
Mr. Burns!
You're alive!
302
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:53,095
I'm so happy
I could... hug you!
303
00:17:53,163 --> 00:17:55,497
And me smell like
drugstore cologne
304
00:17:55,565 --> 00:17:57,766
the rest of the day?
I don't think so.
305
00:17:57,834 --> 00:18:01,036
You may hug... my shadow.
306
00:18:03,306 --> 00:18:05,040
Oh, Mr. Vice President...
307
00:18:05,108 --> 00:18:08,711
I've loved this time we've spent
in this dormant volcano, but...
308
00:18:08,778 --> 00:18:09,945
You're leaving me,
aren't you?
309
00:18:10,013 --> 00:18:11,747
I... I am.
310
00:18:11,815 --> 00:18:14,450
You realize that every time
I don't get what I want,
311
00:18:14,517 --> 00:18:15,884
Al Qaeda wins?
312
00:18:15,952 --> 00:18:17,720
Can I go now?
Yes.
313
00:18:17,787 --> 00:18:19,989
I just need
to erase your memory.
314
00:18:27,230 --> 00:18:29,198
BURNS
Attention, insects!
315
00:18:29,265 --> 00:18:31,400
The foot of reckoning
has arrived!
316
00:18:33,486 --> 00:18:35,170
Hey there, Mr. Burns!
317
00:18:35,238 --> 00:18:37,539
For our half hour, I thought
we'd have a picnic in the park.
318
00:18:37,607 --> 00:18:39,608
Silence, you sadistic monster!
319
00:18:39,676 --> 00:18:41,243
I've got my memory back,
320
00:18:41,311 --> 00:18:43,779
and I'm going to wreak a
terrible vengeance.
321
00:18:43,847 --> 00:18:45,948
Taking an idea I got
from a Stephen King book,
322
00:18:46,016 --> 00:18:49,318
I'm going to cover this town
with a dome!
323
00:18:52,689 --> 00:18:54,623
It's been done!
324
00:18:54,691 --> 00:18:55,991
Really?
325
00:18:56,059 --> 00:18:57,793
You don't say.
326
00:18:57,861 --> 00:18:59,094
Did you know about this?
327
00:18:59,162 --> 00:19:00,295
Mm-hmm.
328
00:19:00,363 --> 00:19:01,563
I see.
329
00:19:05,402 --> 00:19:09,071
Well, what if I cover
you all with...
330
00:19:09,139 --> 00:19:11,607
a cube of bulletproof
plexiglas?!
331
00:19:11,675 --> 00:19:13,976
Uh, it's pretty much
the same thing.
332
00:19:14,044 --> 00:19:15,944
Plus we could always
dig ourselves out,
333
00:19:16,012 --> 00:19:18,280
although that never seems
to occur to anybody.
334
00:19:18,348 --> 00:19:20,783
Set 'er down, Smithers.
335
00:19:23,186 --> 00:19:27,222
Mr. Burns, you can't hurt us
after all we've done for you.
336
00:19:27,290 --> 00:19:29,191
What the devil
are you talking about?
337
00:19:29,259 --> 00:19:31,293
You were given
six weeks to live,
338
00:19:31,361 --> 00:19:33,062
and you've outlived it!
339
00:19:33,129 --> 00:19:35,431
I think what kept you alive
340
00:19:35,498 --> 00:19:39,635
was that for once in your life
you were helping other people.
341
00:19:41,304 --> 00:19:42,604
Could it be?
342
00:19:42,672 --> 00:19:45,340
Perhaps kindness did
keep me alive.
343
00:19:45,408 --> 00:19:48,077
Young man, would you like
a lemon drop?
344
00:19:48,144 --> 00:19:49,411
Mmm!
345
00:19:58,621 --> 00:20:02,324
It wasn't kindness that was
keeping me alive,
346
00:20:02,392 --> 00:20:05,127
it was bile
building up inside!
347
00:20:05,195 --> 00:20:08,864
Loathing is my life blood,
and rage my royal jelly!
348
00:20:08,932 --> 00:20:12,101
So yes, thank you,
Springfield, for giving me
349
00:20:12,168 --> 00:20:14,503
the secret to eternal life--
hate!
350
00:20:14,571 --> 00:20:16,939
You're welcome!
351
00:20:20,210 --> 00:20:21,844
What are you doing here?
352
00:20:21,911 --> 00:20:23,979
You were my father
for two hours,
353
00:20:24,047 --> 00:20:26,949
and I'm not letting
this dad get away!
354
00:20:27,016 --> 00:20:28,517
Oh! Preposterous!
355
00:20:28,585 --> 00:20:30,486
I won't be Bismarcked
into fathering anyone!
356
00:20:30,553 --> 00:20:31,987
Listen, old man.
357
00:20:32,055 --> 00:20:34,256
I need someone to
cheer me on in the school play.
358
00:20:34,324 --> 00:20:35,824
And it's gonna be you,
359
00:20:35,892 --> 00:20:39,428
or this copter's goin' down!
360
00:20:39,496 --> 00:20:40,846
You know I'll do it!
361
00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:47,402
Thank God your son can't see
the way you're behaving.
362
00:20:47,470 --> 00:20:50,072
My son?
My son?!
363
00:20:50,140 --> 00:20:53,675
The truth is...
I don't have a son!
364
00:20:53,743 --> 00:20:57,112
Haw-haw!
Haw-haw!
365
00:20:57,180 --> 00:20:59,782
Haw-haw!
366
00:20:59,849 --> 00:21:02,618
That's my boy!
367
00:21:02,685 --> 00:21:07,122
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
368
00:21:48,682 --> 00:21:49,802
Shh!