1 00:00:07,837 --> 00:00:11,260 Oh, boy, Lenny is gonna be so surprised. 2 00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:13,596 And I got the perfect card. 3 00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:14,889 Uh-huh! 4 00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:16,600 "Over the hill than under it." Yeah. 5 00:00:18,850 --> 00:00:22,311 Having chipped in, you may now sign. 6 00:00:22,312 --> 00:00:23,937 Nice work. 7 00:00:23,938 --> 00:00:26,648 No "best wishes," I like the restraint. 8 00:00:26,649 --> 00:00:30,152 Yeah, I thought about "regards," but Lenny knows how I feel. 9 00:00:32,614 --> 00:00:35,240 Okay, everybody, be quiet. 10 00:00:35,241 --> 00:00:38,452 Lenny's gonna be here any minute. Shh. 11 00:00:40,914 --> 00:00:43,665 Sur... prise. 12 00:00:43,666 --> 00:00:46,460 I thought this was my blood transfusion room, 13 00:00:46,461 --> 00:00:48,545 but, uh, there's not a baby in sight. 14 00:00:48,546 --> 00:00:51,090 It's a surprise party for Lenny, sir. 15 00:00:51,091 --> 00:00:54,510 Everybody chipped in five bucks for a card and a cake 16 00:00:54,511 --> 00:00:58,138 and a show by close-up magician Abraca-Debra. 17 00:00:58,139 --> 00:01:01,558 What? Damn! 18 00:01:01,559 --> 00:01:03,978 Well, in that case, I suppose I should sign, too. 19 00:01:06,189 --> 00:01:10,317 "With regards, C. Montgomery Burns." 20 00:01:10,318 --> 00:01:11,693 Mm. Hmm. 21 00:01:13,488 --> 00:01:16,115 Ah, Lenny, happy birthday. 22 00:01:30,296 --> 00:01:32,214 This is the greatest birthday ever! 23 00:01:32,215 --> 00:01:34,925 And best of all, Mr. Burns signed my card. 24 00:01:34,926 --> 00:01:36,802 To everyone who chipped in. 25 00:01:36,803 --> 00:01:39,596 Chipped in. Chipped in. 26 00:01:39,597 --> 00:01:42,434 Chipped in. 27 00:01:43,643 --> 00:01:46,061 What kind of person signs a birthday card 28 00:01:46,062 --> 00:01:47,438 and doesn't chip in? 29 00:01:47,439 --> 00:01:49,731 You sign the card, you got to chip in. 30 00:01:49,732 --> 00:01:53,235 - It's the code of the card. - How big did he sign? 31 00:01:53,236 --> 00:01:55,070 Eddie Bauer big. 32 00:01:56,532 --> 00:01:59,325 Stupid unpaid signature. 33 00:01:59,326 --> 00:02:01,035 This is the worst thing that ever happened 34 00:02:01,036 --> 00:02:02,912 at a nuclear power plant. 35 00:02:02,913 --> 00:02:04,914 Homie, just let it go. 36 00:02:04,915 --> 00:02:07,583 Don't let a signature drive you crazy. 37 00:02:07,584 --> 00:02:08,835 You're right, honey. 38 00:02:08,836 --> 00:02:10,378 I'll let it go. 39 00:02:10,379 --> 00:02:12,964 I don't know what I'd do without you. 40 00:02:15,342 --> 00:02:17,885 Happy birthday, Lenny. 41 00:02:17,886 --> 00:02:19,720 No. No! 42 00:02:19,721 --> 00:02:21,389 No! 43 00:02:22,474 --> 00:02:23,933 Homie, what is it? 44 00:02:23,934 --> 00:02:26,644 I had the most horrible nightmare 45 00:02:26,645 --> 00:02:30,022 where I listened to your advice. 46 00:02:30,023 --> 00:02:31,941 Okay, okay. 47 00:02:31,942 --> 00:02:33,234 Okay, Homer, you can do this. 48 00:02:33,235 --> 00:02:34,652 You can make things right. 49 00:02:43,495 --> 00:02:45,371 Mr. Burns, everyone who signed 50 00:02:45,372 --> 00:02:47,665 that birthday card chipped in except for you. 51 00:02:47,666 --> 00:02:49,667 You owe five dollars. 52 00:02:49,668 --> 00:02:52,044 How dare you... 53 00:02:52,045 --> 00:02:54,547 give that the slightest worry. 54 00:02:54,548 --> 00:02:56,465 Hope you didn't lose any sleep 55 00:02:56,466 --> 00:02:58,050 over this little misunderstanding. 56 00:02:58,051 --> 00:03:00,469 Here, have a cricket on a thread for good luck. 57 00:03:04,057 --> 00:03:05,600 You monster... 58 00:03:05,601 --> 00:03:07,101 taking advantage of an old man. 59 00:03:07,102 --> 00:03:08,436 What are you talking about? 60 00:03:08,437 --> 00:03:10,062 Mr. Burns is heavily medicated 61 00:03:10,063 --> 00:03:11,943 on a round-the-clock regimen of skin thickeners. 62 00:03:15,861 --> 00:03:17,570 The side effect of that medication 63 00:03:17,571 --> 00:03:19,447 is bouts of uncontrollable decency. 64 00:03:19,448 --> 00:03:21,324 And you exploited that. 65 00:03:21,325 --> 00:03:23,951 I'm demoting you to the worst job in this place: 66 00:03:23,952 --> 00:03:26,787 supervising the nuclear plant interns. 67 00:03:34,963 --> 00:03:37,298 Listen up, millenniums. I'm Homer Simpson, 68 00:03:37,299 --> 00:03:38,799 your new supervisor. 69 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,510 So stop Snapchatting, Fortnite-ing 70 00:03:41,511 --> 00:03:44,138 and swiping right on your Uber Venmos. 71 00:03:44,139 --> 00:03:47,350 We're actually replicating plant start-up sequences 72 00:03:47,351 --> 00:03:50,436 to simulate the effects of high-demand energy draws. 73 00:03:50,437 --> 00:03:52,188 Contamination versus irradiation... 74 00:03:52,189 --> 00:03:53,481 your thoughts? 75 00:03:53,482 --> 00:03:54,941 Address rate of reaction. 76 00:03:54,942 --> 00:03:57,026 What variables can we assume? 77 00:03:57,027 --> 00:03:59,570 Uh... 78 00:03:59,571 --> 00:04:03,407 Der... Uh... Der-der... 79 00:04:03,408 --> 00:04:05,076 Der... 80 00:04:05,077 --> 00:04:08,454 This guy is denser than osmium-188. 81 00:04:12,751 --> 00:04:15,503 Are my ears hearing this? 82 00:04:15,504 --> 00:04:17,797 Are you seriously busting the clangers 83 00:04:17,798 --> 00:04:19,548 of Homer J. Simpsons? 84 00:04:19,549 --> 00:04:23,052 This man is a god and his clangers are unbustable. 85 00:04:23,053 --> 00:04:24,971 You're looking at the Michael Jordan 86 00:04:24,972 --> 00:04:26,722 of Sector 7G. 87 00:04:26,723 --> 00:04:29,976 And you humps aren't worthy to swill his backwash. 88 00:04:29,977 --> 00:04:31,894 You're sticking up for me? 89 00:04:31,895 --> 00:04:33,145 Who are you? 90 00:04:33,146 --> 00:04:35,106 Mike Wegman, nuclear intern. 91 00:04:35,107 --> 00:04:36,983 And your number one fan. 92 00:04:36,984 --> 00:04:39,068 Yeah, well, your hero has a Pop-Tart 93 00:04:39,069 --> 00:04:40,861 in his cell phone holster. 94 00:04:45,867 --> 00:04:47,326 Are you kidding? 95 00:04:48,662 --> 00:04:52,039 No one disrespects Homer Simpsons. 96 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:55,710 Not you, Ricky, with your standing desk. 97 00:04:55,711 --> 00:04:58,045 It's not a workout; it's been disproven. 98 00:04:58,046 --> 00:04:59,672 And not you, Gretchen, 99 00:04:59,673 --> 00:05:01,924 drinking coffee creamer straight from the bottle. 100 00:05:01,925 --> 00:05:04,343 You exude amaretto, you freak. 101 00:05:04,344 --> 00:05:07,263 And, Benjamin, no one ever got trampled 102 00:05:07,264 --> 00:05:09,140 at a Michael Bublé concert. 103 00:05:09,141 --> 00:05:12,184 Drop the friggin' lawsuit, you're clogging up the system. 104 00:05:12,185 --> 00:05:14,270 This man is a dynamo. 105 00:05:14,271 --> 00:05:17,273 So you shaved coconuts give him your full respect. 106 00:05:17,274 --> 00:05:19,942 All right, all right. Sorry, Mr. Simpson. 107 00:05:19,943 --> 00:05:21,902 Looking forward to learning from you, Mr. Simpson. 108 00:05:21,903 --> 00:05:24,947 People at work usually yell at me, not for me. 109 00:05:24,948 --> 00:05:26,574 How do you know who I am? 110 00:05:26,575 --> 00:05:29,577 So modest. What a dynamo. 111 00:05:29,578 --> 00:05:31,370 - Because of this. - Hmm? 112 00:05:31,371 --> 00:05:32,955 Whenever there's trouble, 113 00:05:32,956 --> 00:05:35,499 you are at the heart of the action. 114 00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:38,252 Number six is why all those horses went bald. 115 00:05:38,253 --> 00:05:41,297 Yeah. Well, I-I-I've been looking up to you for so long 116 00:05:41,298 --> 00:05:44,091 from the cheap seats, and now we're finally face-to-face, 117 00:05:44,092 --> 00:05:46,302 I can't believe I'm saying this, but I got to ask, 118 00:05:46,303 --> 00:05:49,138 w-will you be my coach? My sensei? 119 00:05:49,139 --> 00:05:52,099 Homer J. Simpsons, will you be my mentor? 120 00:05:56,229 --> 00:05:57,563 If you accept, let me know 121 00:05:57,564 --> 00:05:59,648 by taking this half a PowerBar. 122 00:05:59,649 --> 00:06:02,985 I rolled up the wrapper really good so there's no pocket lint. 123 00:06:02,986 --> 00:06:06,655 Mike Wegmans, I will be your mentor. 124 00:06:18,126 --> 00:06:20,294 Okay, which of these ties is better 125 00:06:20,295 --> 00:06:22,671 for my first day as a mentor? 126 00:06:22,672 --> 00:06:25,174 Purple stripes or this one? 127 00:06:25,175 --> 00:06:27,760 Are you wearing my perfume? 128 00:06:27,761 --> 00:06:30,471 I like it on you, he'll like it on me. 129 00:06:30,472 --> 00:06:32,348 Dad, it's not often that you... 130 00:06:32,349 --> 00:06:33,516 how do I put this?... 131 00:06:33,517 --> 00:06:36,227 care so much about your job? 132 00:06:36,228 --> 00:06:39,480 Well, now that I'm a mentor, everything's changed. 133 00:06:39,481 --> 00:06:41,899 For the first time, another human being 134 00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:44,527 is dependent on me to guide them through life. 135 00:06:46,988 --> 00:06:49,156 This guy I'm menting is so cool. 136 00:06:49,157 --> 00:06:51,409 He listens with his mouth open. 137 00:06:51,410 --> 00:06:55,079 He's been blocked by so many celebrities on Twitter. 138 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:56,997 And he thinks I'm the most valuable worker 139 00:06:56,998 --> 00:06:58,582 at the entire nuclear plant. 140 00:06:58,583 --> 00:07:00,042 Oh, I get it. 141 00:07:00,043 --> 00:07:02,586 He's super dumb. 142 00:07:02,587 --> 00:07:04,588 Mock all you want. 143 00:07:04,589 --> 00:07:07,676 I finally have someone at work who admires me. 144 00:07:11,179 --> 00:07:12,638 He's fat. 145 00:07:12,639 --> 00:07:14,515 Homer, your pants. 146 00:07:14,516 --> 00:07:16,100 They'll come around again. 147 00:07:16,101 --> 00:07:17,853 They always do. 148 00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:21,605 There's my thoroughbred. 149 00:07:21,606 --> 00:07:23,774 I-I got your coffee just the way you like it. 150 00:07:23,775 --> 00:07:25,569 No coffee, just doughnut holes. 151 00:07:27,571 --> 00:07:30,281 Oh, my God, are you busting my bricks? 152 00:07:30,282 --> 00:07:31,490 I-Is this real? 153 00:07:31,491 --> 00:07:33,200 Sector 7G. 154 00:07:33,201 --> 00:07:36,120 7G, where Olympus fears to tread. 155 00:07:36,121 --> 00:07:37,538 He sure does. 156 00:07:37,539 --> 00:07:40,916 Okay, you are a category five hurricane of knowledge, 157 00:07:40,917 --> 00:07:43,836 and I'm like that old idiot who won't leave his beach house. 158 00:07:43,837 --> 00:07:46,589 Please, drown my in my attic with what you know. 159 00:07:46,590 --> 00:07:48,257 I thought you might say that. 160 00:07:48,258 --> 00:07:51,760 So I've prepared inspirational posters. 161 00:07:51,761 --> 00:07:53,345 I feel like Amar'e Stoudemire 162 00:07:53,346 --> 00:07:55,681 when he first set foot in Jerusalem. 163 00:07:58,143 --> 00:07:59,226 W-What else you got? 164 00:07:59,227 --> 00:08:00,978 - Uh, let's see... - Uh-huh. 165 00:08:00,979 --> 00:08:02,480 - Don't forget about the, uh... - Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Yeah. 166 00:08:02,481 --> 00:08:03,981 - Oh, uh, and, of course, - Gold. 167 00:08:03,982 --> 00:08:05,524 - You got to, you just got to. - Gold. Okay. 168 00:08:05,525 --> 00:08:06,650 - Because if you don't... - Soakin' it in. Gold. 169 00:08:06,651 --> 00:08:08,569 - Well, oh. - Soakin' it in. 170 00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:09,945 - Well, they don't have that anymore. - I can remember this. 171 00:08:09,946 --> 00:08:11,572 - And you see these? - Yeah. 172 00:08:11,573 --> 00:08:13,699 - I'm gonna tell you that later. - Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Yeah. 173 00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:15,409 I can't believe this. 174 00:08:15,410 --> 00:08:17,912 I-I'm only 35 and I am sitting at the feet 175 00:08:17,913 --> 00:08:19,747 of the atomic Baba Booey. 176 00:08:19,748 --> 00:08:22,333 Mm. You're 35? 177 00:08:22,334 --> 00:08:24,418 Then why do you have a job of a 20-year-old 178 00:08:24,419 --> 00:08:26,045 and talk like a ten-year-old? 179 00:08:26,046 --> 00:08:27,046 Here's how it is. 180 00:08:27,047 --> 00:08:28,506 So, my buddy 'Nesto and me 181 00:08:28,507 --> 00:08:29,757 were cleaning gutters for cash, 182 00:08:29,758 --> 00:08:32,092 when that idiot 'Nesto falls off 183 00:08:32,093 --> 00:08:35,012 and lands on a doghouse. Stupid 'Nesto. 184 00:08:35,013 --> 00:08:37,806 Then my parents are on my case to get a real career, 185 00:08:37,807 --> 00:08:39,517 something "closer to the ground." 186 00:08:39,518 --> 00:08:41,644 So I thought, "Why not follow my hero 187 00:08:41,645 --> 00:08:44,021 "into man's greatest calling? 188 00:08:44,022 --> 00:08:45,606 Nuclear whatever." 189 00:08:45,607 --> 00:08:46,941 So I went down to the plant, 190 00:08:46,942 --> 00:08:48,734 told them I was part Native American... 191 00:08:48,735 --> 00:08:50,653 I could be, I always liked those guys... 192 00:08:50,654 --> 00:08:52,863 and boom! I'm an intern. 193 00:08:52,864 --> 00:08:55,491 Three short years later, got myself a mentor. 194 00:08:55,492 --> 00:08:58,494 Wow. My posters really worked. 195 00:08:58,495 --> 00:09:00,704 But you don't need me telling you how great you are, 196 00:09:00,705 --> 00:09:02,831 y-you get enough of that at home. 197 00:09:06,503 --> 00:09:09,004 Happy birthday, Lenny. 198 00:09:09,005 --> 00:09:10,631 Say, Mike, 199 00:09:10,632 --> 00:09:13,551 why don't you come over to my house for dinner? 200 00:09:13,552 --> 00:09:15,803 I've got some people I'd like to introduce 201 00:09:15,804 --> 00:09:17,721 to the way you act around me. 202 00:09:17,722 --> 00:09:19,640 Okay. I-I could do that. 203 00:09:19,641 --> 00:09:21,225 I could make that happen. 204 00:09:21,226 --> 00:09:22,852 Huh. I got this. 205 00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:24,853 Hey, Lenny, you duck-faced psycho, 206 00:09:24,854 --> 00:09:27,022 guess who's going to Homer Simpson's house 207 00:09:27,023 --> 00:09:28,857 for a meal? Me. 208 00:09:28,858 --> 00:09:30,485 Uh, I'm Carl. 209 00:09:31,820 --> 00:09:33,737 I wish you would give me more of a heads-up 210 00:09:33,738 --> 00:09:35,781 before inviting a mentee for dinner. 211 00:09:35,782 --> 00:09:37,491 I guess we'll have enough 212 00:09:37,492 --> 00:09:41,161 if I double the chip layer on the casserole. 213 00:09:41,162 --> 00:09:44,456 Don't worry, you're gonna love this kid. 214 00:09:44,457 --> 00:09:47,167 Kid? He looks 40-plus. 215 00:09:47,168 --> 00:09:49,962 Oh, Homer, she is a beaut. 216 00:09:49,963 --> 00:09:52,298 Now I know why you're always napping at work. 217 00:09:52,299 --> 00:09:53,966 Mr. Plow, indeed. 218 00:09:53,967 --> 00:09:55,926 Hello. I'm Marge. 219 00:09:55,927 --> 00:09:57,720 Mike Wegman. This is Maureen. 220 00:09:57,721 --> 00:10:00,472 And this is Patrick Ewing Wegman. 221 00:10:00,473 --> 00:10:03,267 It's a girl. You can't name her Patrick. 222 00:10:03,268 --> 00:10:05,811 2.4 blocks per game, lifetime. 223 00:10:05,812 --> 00:10:07,688 She's Patrick. 224 00:10:07,689 --> 00:10:09,064 Look at this spread. 225 00:10:09,065 --> 00:10:11,400 I-I was expecting, like, a-a party sub, 226 00:10:11,401 --> 00:10:14,111 but hot carrots? Who thinks of that? 227 00:10:14,112 --> 00:10:16,780 Slow it, you'll burn your mouth again. 228 00:10:16,781 --> 00:10:18,501 All right, all right, I'm gonna blow on 'em. 229 00:10:19,743 --> 00:10:21,493 Thank you for having us. 230 00:10:21,494 --> 00:10:24,371 Mike admires your husband so much. 231 00:10:24,372 --> 00:10:26,373 Do you hear that? "So much"! 232 00:10:26,374 --> 00:10:28,417 They don't admire me any much. 233 00:10:29,878 --> 00:10:31,879 You better hold on to this guy, Marge, 234 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,214 'cause if he were single, he'd be cleaning up. 235 00:10:34,215 --> 00:10:36,967 I mean cleaning up, knee-deep. 236 00:10:36,968 --> 00:10:38,218 Don't worry, honey. 237 00:10:38,219 --> 00:10:40,346 You're the only woman for me. 238 00:10:40,347 --> 00:10:41,597 I wasn't worried. 239 00:10:41,598 --> 00:10:45,142 So, Mrs. Wegman, how did you two meet? 240 00:10:45,143 --> 00:10:46,977 Oh, well, you're gonna love this story. 241 00:10:46,978 --> 00:10:48,854 It's so romantic. Tell her, honey. 242 00:10:48,855 --> 00:10:49,813 Go ahead, tell her. 243 00:10:49,814 --> 00:10:51,523 He was a waiter at my wedding. 244 00:10:51,524 --> 00:10:54,026 She was so beautiful, like one of those girls 245 00:10:54,027 --> 00:10:56,278 you see leaving Vinny's bedroom on Entourage 246 00:10:56,279 --> 00:10:57,905 that don't say nothin'. 247 00:11:02,202 --> 00:11:04,495 So, Mike, you seem like a sharp tack. 248 00:11:04,496 --> 00:11:06,622 What exactly is my dad teaching you? 249 00:11:06,623 --> 00:11:08,874 How to eat doughnuts while napping? 250 00:11:10,377 --> 00:11:13,253 Did this little hump just say what I thought I heard? 251 00:11:13,254 --> 00:11:15,005 It's okay, Mike. I don't sweat it. 252 00:11:15,006 --> 00:11:17,549 Yeah, Mike, the only thing Homer sweats is gravy. 253 00:11:20,261 --> 00:11:23,180 No one disrespects Homer Simpsons! 254 00:11:23,181 --> 00:11:26,141 Especially not an ugly little punk like you. 255 00:11:26,142 --> 00:11:27,976 That's right, I said "ugly." 256 00:11:27,977 --> 00:11:29,895 Your head looks like a rejected Muppet. 257 00:11:29,896 --> 00:11:32,439 Two golf balls glued to a can of oats. 258 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:36,151 Between that Tommy Lasorda gut and those toothpick legs, 259 00:11:36,152 --> 00:11:39,864 you are not a kid... you are a walkin' potato clock. 260 00:11:41,533 --> 00:11:44,868 Ha-ha-ha! Ugly! Ha! 261 00:11:46,746 --> 00:11:49,832 Muppet... 262 00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:53,585 Ah! Toothpick legs! 263 00:11:53,586 --> 00:11:55,003 Potato clock! 264 00:12:00,552 --> 00:12:02,678 I'm just bustin' your clangers, kid. 265 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:03,887 All right, it's okay. 266 00:12:03,888 --> 00:12:05,432 I want you out! 267 00:12:11,104 --> 00:12:13,939 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 268 00:12:13,940 --> 00:12:16,191 Where's the baby registered?! 269 00:12:16,192 --> 00:12:18,694 DraftKings! 270 00:12:18,695 --> 00:12:21,196 How many times do I have to say I'm sorry? 271 00:12:21,197 --> 00:12:23,115 Once would be nice. 272 00:12:23,116 --> 00:12:25,701 Wow, you're really bustin' my clangers. 273 00:12:25,702 --> 00:12:27,202 That guy's a lunatic. 274 00:12:27,203 --> 00:12:28,454 He's not crazy. 275 00:12:28,455 --> 00:12:30,247 He's the only one that respects me! 276 00:12:30,248 --> 00:12:31,999 The kids and I respect you. 277 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,042 All you guys ever did was love me. 278 00:12:34,043 --> 00:12:36,879 But look me in the eyes and tell me you respect me, 279 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,797 as a nuclear guy. 280 00:12:43,678 --> 00:12:45,637 I just liked the feeling 281 00:12:45,638 --> 00:12:48,182 that one person thinks I'm good at something. 282 00:12:48,183 --> 00:12:50,267 Mm, I get it, Homie. 283 00:12:50,268 --> 00:12:52,728 But if you really want to help this guy, 284 00:12:52,729 --> 00:12:54,522 help him grow up. 285 00:12:57,901 --> 00:12:59,651 Come on, Fordham, 286 00:12:59,652 --> 00:13:00,903 Bucknell's got no rim protection. 287 00:13:00,904 --> 00:13:03,363 They're garbage. Just cover the spread. 288 00:13:04,449 --> 00:13:06,158 Hey, Homer. How's it clangin'? 289 00:13:06,159 --> 00:13:08,535 I'm, uh, just tunin' in to a little college hoops. 290 00:13:08,536 --> 00:13:10,746 Yeah, Mike, I was thinking, 291 00:13:10,747 --> 00:13:14,792 if you weren't a 35-year-old unpaid intern 292 00:13:14,793 --> 00:13:17,920 with a baby on the way, do you have any other dreams? 293 00:13:17,921 --> 00:13:20,798 Ah, man, you are mentoring me hard right now. 294 00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:23,425 Oh, okay, I'm gonna tell you, but don't laugh. 295 00:13:23,426 --> 00:13:24,676 I won't. 296 00:13:24,677 --> 00:13:26,303 - Slices. - Uh-huh. 297 00:13:26,304 --> 00:13:28,806 Nothing better than getting a slice of pizza, right? 298 00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:31,725 But it's always been under the heat lamp all dried out. 299 00:13:31,726 --> 00:13:33,769 Damn heat lamp. 300 00:13:33,770 --> 00:13:36,605 Right. So why not make the pizza one slice at a time, 301 00:13:36,606 --> 00:13:37,689 hot and fresh? 302 00:13:37,690 --> 00:13:39,817 Every slice is Derek Jeter. 303 00:13:39,818 --> 00:13:41,902 No Scott Brosius in the bunch. 304 00:13:41,903 --> 00:13:43,946 That's genius! 305 00:13:43,947 --> 00:13:46,240 Oh, my God, I can't believe you like it. 306 00:13:46,241 --> 00:13:49,535 Mike! You know what you should call your slices? 307 00:13:49,536 --> 00:13:51,620 Mike's Slices. 308 00:13:51,621 --> 00:13:53,247 I'm Mike! 309 00:13:53,248 --> 00:13:55,707 Yeah! Okay, what you need is an investor, 310 00:13:55,708 --> 00:13:57,918 and I know the perfect person. 311 00:13:57,919 --> 00:13:59,796 He gave me five dollars. 312 00:14:01,047 --> 00:14:03,215 Every slice hot and fresh 313 00:14:03,216 --> 00:14:05,259 from the oven into your mouth. 314 00:14:05,260 --> 00:14:07,135 Every slice a Jeter. 315 00:14:07,136 --> 00:14:10,055 No Scott Brosiuses. 316 00:14:10,056 --> 00:14:13,058 Why can't I get a whole pizza and slice it myself? 317 00:14:13,059 --> 00:14:14,476 There are no whole pizzas. 318 00:14:14,477 --> 00:14:17,229 It's just slices, hot and fresh. 319 00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:20,065 And don't worry about investing with this guy, Mr. Burns, 320 00:14:20,066 --> 00:14:22,484 because he's backed by the full mentorship 321 00:14:22,485 --> 00:14:24,820 of Homer J. Simpsons. 322 00:14:24,821 --> 00:14:27,281 Then it's my pleasure to tell you... 323 00:14:27,282 --> 00:14:31,076 that that is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. 324 00:14:31,077 --> 00:14:34,371 Get this intern out of my office, you nincompoop! 325 00:14:35,290 --> 00:14:37,040 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 326 00:14:37,041 --> 00:14:41,336 Ho! No one disrespects Homer J. Simpsons. 327 00:14:41,337 --> 00:14:43,130 No, Mike, don't. 328 00:14:43,131 --> 00:14:43,797 Nin... 329 00:14:43,798 --> 00:14:45,257 com... poop! 330 00:14:45,258 --> 00:14:47,467 Listen to me, you skunk-bag full of Centrum Silver 331 00:14:47,468 --> 00:14:49,428 sitting on your peanut brittle ass 332 00:14:49,429 --> 00:14:51,430 with your turn-of-the-century buzzard face. 333 00:14:51,431 --> 00:14:54,099 You ain't worthy to squeegee this man's back sweat. 334 00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:56,101 You smell like Chinese food that someone left 335 00:14:56,102 --> 00:14:57,895 in an old jack-o'-lantern. 336 00:14:57,896 --> 00:15:00,898 My mentor is the shiniest diamond in the whole Zales, 337 00:15:00,899 --> 00:15:03,567 so stuff your organs back in their jars 338 00:15:03,568 --> 00:15:05,903 and crawl in your mummy box, 339 00:15:05,904 --> 00:15:08,823 you sick, fungused-up, hep-C Dracula! 340 00:15:11,951 --> 00:15:13,411 By the way, he's off his happy pills. 341 00:15:17,874 --> 00:15:20,292 You're lucky Mr. Burns's gun was 200 years old. 342 00:15:20,293 --> 00:15:21,877 Yeah, but now my doctor says 343 00:15:21,878 --> 00:15:24,004 I can't get shot in the face again. 344 00:15:24,005 --> 00:15:26,089 Who's ugly now, pellet-head? 345 00:15:28,843 --> 00:15:30,928 Come on, it's okay. Don't cry. 346 00:15:30,929 --> 00:15:33,805 I'm not. All the BBs in my head are making it heavy. 347 00:15:33,806 --> 00:15:35,807 Mike, this is all my fault. 348 00:15:35,808 --> 00:15:38,560 I know you think I'm a great nuclear guy, but I'm not. 349 00:15:38,561 --> 00:15:40,354 I didn't stop those accidents. 350 00:15:40,355 --> 00:15:41,897 I caused them. 351 00:15:41,898 --> 00:15:43,732 Huh? No. No. 352 00:15:43,733 --> 00:15:45,484 All my posters... "Bet on Yourself," 353 00:15:45,485 --> 00:15:47,277 "Go Big or Go Home"... 354 00:15:47,278 --> 00:15:50,113 I was caught shoplifting those from a poster store. 355 00:15:50,114 --> 00:15:53,659 I was trying to go big, and they wouldn't let me go home. 356 00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:57,371 Mike, face it, I'm a bad mentor. 357 00:15:57,372 --> 00:15:59,873 No one disrespects Homer Simpsons. 358 00:15:59,874 --> 00:16:01,541 Not even you. 359 00:16:01,542 --> 00:16:04,086 You're the best mentor a lousy bride-banger like me 360 00:16:04,087 --> 00:16:05,420 could ever ask for. 361 00:16:05,421 --> 00:16:07,214 And I'm gonna prove it. 362 00:16:07,215 --> 00:16:09,007 Who spilled BBs 363 00:16:09,008 --> 00:16:11,052 all over the... whoa! 364 00:16:12,929 --> 00:16:16,348 Yo! Mentor! 365 00:16:21,229 --> 00:16:23,522 Anybody want a slice of pizza 366 00:16:23,523 --> 00:16:25,524 that wasn't sliced from a pizza? 367 00:16:25,525 --> 00:16:27,693 Where'd you get a food truck? 368 00:16:27,694 --> 00:16:30,612 It's all cause of you, mentor, all cause of you. Deal with it. 369 00:16:30,613 --> 00:16:32,990 The boys and I will take a large pie. 370 00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:34,950 Can't you read a truck, Cookie Puss? 371 00:16:34,951 --> 00:16:36,159 Slices only! 372 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,078 All righty, three slices, please. 373 00:16:38,079 --> 00:16:41,790 They'll be ready in 13, 26 and 39 minutes. 374 00:16:41,791 --> 00:16:43,959 And don't block the window, sizzle chest. 375 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,712 When will my slice be ready? 376 00:16:46,713 --> 00:16:49,548 And by "slice," I mean the first payment 377 00:16:49,549 --> 00:16:51,842 on your outstanding loan. 378 00:16:51,843 --> 00:16:54,553 You borrowed money from the mob?! 379 00:16:54,554 --> 00:16:56,680 No, no, no, no, no, no. It's all good. 380 00:16:56,681 --> 00:16:59,725 I took a one-week loan from Fat Tony for a hundred grand. 381 00:16:59,726 --> 00:17:01,935 I put $50k into the truck 382 00:17:01,936 --> 00:17:04,271 and then bet the other 50 on tonight's Lehigh game, 383 00:17:04,272 --> 00:17:05,981 which is a lock. 384 00:17:05,982 --> 00:17:08,316 So when I win the bet, I pay back the mob, 385 00:17:08,317 --> 00:17:10,569 and I own the truck free and clear. 386 00:17:10,570 --> 00:17:11,903 Oh, no. 387 00:17:11,904 --> 00:17:14,197 You bet on yourself! 388 00:17:14,198 --> 00:17:16,450 Go big or go home, baby. 389 00:17:16,451 --> 00:17:18,368 And Lehigh's in trouble 390 00:17:18,369 --> 00:17:21,163 as Holy Cross goes on an unanswered 20-point run. 391 00:17:21,164 --> 00:17:23,665 No, no, no, Lehigh is a lock! 392 00:17:23,666 --> 00:17:27,085 They're undefeated on floors with hockey ice beneath them. 393 00:17:27,086 --> 00:17:30,672 Yet again, a man's life hangs by the gossamer thread 394 00:17:30,673 --> 00:17:33,341 of Patriot League basketball. 395 00:17:33,342 --> 00:17:34,676 Guns up. 396 00:17:36,179 --> 00:17:38,347 But Lehigh takes the lead with a three 397 00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:40,098 from way behind the arc. 398 00:17:40,099 --> 00:17:41,892 - Yes! - Guns down. 399 00:17:43,019 --> 00:17:44,478 But the Crusaders answer 400 00:17:44,479 --> 00:17:46,730 with a floater in the key! 401 00:17:46,731 --> 00:17:49,524 And Lehigh comes back with a monster dunk! 402 00:17:49,525 --> 00:17:52,110 Yeah! 403 00:17:52,111 --> 00:17:55,655 As the final seconds tick awa, Lehigh has this one in the ba! 404 00:17:55,656 --> 00:17:56,740 Whoo-hoo! 405 00:17:56,741 --> 00:17:58,241 The body bag! 406 00:17:58,242 --> 00:18:00,368 As a last-second half-court heave 407 00:18:00,369 --> 00:18:02,537 gives Holy Cross the win. 408 00:18:02,538 --> 00:18:04,122 Guns up. 409 00:18:04,123 --> 00:18:06,166 Safeties off. 410 00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:10,629 Don't worry, I know a place 411 00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:12,005 where they will never find us. 412 00:18:15,301 --> 00:18:19,388 A food truck graveyard. 413 00:18:25,061 --> 00:18:27,938 Why are there so many failed ones? 414 00:18:27,939 --> 00:18:30,858 'Cause they don't have an original concept, like me. 415 00:18:48,543 --> 00:18:50,252 Homer, I got to tell you one thing. 416 00:18:50,253 --> 00:18:51,670 Your boy's not ugly. 417 00:18:51,671 --> 00:18:53,046 He's gorgeous. 418 00:18:53,047 --> 00:18:54,506 Just like his old man. 419 00:18:54,507 --> 00:18:56,091 He's gonna clean up. 420 00:18:56,092 --> 00:18:57,968 Tell baby Patrick I loved her. 421 00:18:57,969 --> 00:18:59,720 All right, do me. 422 00:19:01,764 --> 00:19:04,182 I smell mozzarella 423 00:19:04,183 --> 00:19:09,020 gently melting over a single slice of triangular dough. 424 00:19:09,021 --> 00:19:13,108 Before the end, we will share a pie. 425 00:19:13,109 --> 00:19:15,153 It's just slices, you goombah caveman! 426 00:19:16,445 --> 00:19:18,697 Mmm! Usually a slice is dried out 427 00:19:18,698 --> 00:19:21,783 from sitting under a heat lamp, but this is hot and fresh! 428 00:19:21,784 --> 00:19:23,785 See? This guy has good ideas. 429 00:19:23,786 --> 00:19:25,287 What if... 430 00:19:25,288 --> 00:19:29,374 you let Mike work in the truck to pay you back? 431 00:19:29,375 --> 00:19:32,127 No. The food truck business is too big a gamble. 432 00:19:32,128 --> 00:19:34,463 And even our gambling operation is in trouble 433 00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:37,883 with the advent of legal online wagering. 434 00:19:37,884 --> 00:19:40,302 Too bad you can't take action out of my food truck, 435 00:19:40,303 --> 00:19:41,761 let the betting come to you. 436 00:19:41,762 --> 00:19:43,722 Now, do me already! 437 00:19:43,723 --> 00:19:46,184 A food truck that takes bets? 438 00:19:48,686 --> 00:19:50,520 I'll take a slice of cheese 439 00:19:50,521 --> 00:19:52,440 and the moneyline on Georgetown. 440 00:19:54,734 --> 00:19:57,527 Yo, Tony! We're raking it in on the sportsbook. 441 00:19:57,528 --> 00:20:01,157 And it was a great idea to sell weed out of this thing also. 442 00:20:03,743 --> 00:20:06,828 Homer, you believed in this stagelagoots 443 00:20:06,829 --> 00:20:08,997 when no one else would. 444 00:20:08,998 --> 00:20:11,666 You listened to him, nurtured his ideas, 445 00:20:11,667 --> 00:20:14,252 and now he is a success. 446 00:20:14,253 --> 00:20:18,340 Truly, you are an excellent mentor. 447 00:20:18,341 --> 00:20:19,883 ♪ Let ♪ 448 00:20:19,884 --> 00:20:23,220 ♪ The river run ♪ 449 00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:26,681 ♪ Let all the dreamers ♪ 450 00:20:26,682 --> 00:20:30,727 ♪ Wake the nation ♪ 451 00:20:30,728 --> 00:20:32,729 ♪ Come ♪ 452 00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:38,611 ♪ The new Jerusalem... ♪ 453 00:20:43,199 --> 00:20:46,202 ♪ Silver cities rise... ♪ 454 00:20:50,623 --> 00:20:54,542 ♪ It's asking for the taking ♪ 455 00:20:54,543 --> 00:20:59,965 ♪ Trembling, shaking ♪ 456 00:20:59,966 --> 00:21:05,053 ♪ Oh, my heart is aching ♪ 457 00:21:05,054 --> 00:21:06,221 ♪ We're coming to the edge ♪ 458 00:21:06,222 --> 00:21:08,515 ♪ Running on the water ♪ 459 00:21:08,516 --> 00:21:10,392 ♪ Coming through the fog, your sons and daughters ♪ 460 00:21:10,393 --> 00:21:14,312 - ♪ Let the river run ♪ - ♪ Let the river run ♪ 461 00:21:14,313 --> 00:21:18,400 - ♪ Let all the dreamers ♪ - ♪ Let all the dreamers ♪ 462 00:21:18,401 --> 00:21:21,611 - ♪ Wake the nation ♪ - ♪ Wake the nation ♪ 463 00:21:21,612 --> 00:21:27,284 ♪ Come, the new Jerusalem... ♪ 464 00:21:27,285 --> 00:21:29,327 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 465 00:21:29,328 --> 00:21:31,289 Shh!