1
00:00:00,980 --> 00:00:02,780
You're watching The Simpsons.
2
00:00:02,790 --> 00:00:05,789
You know your life sucks.
Just get drunk
like you always do.
3
00:00:05,790 --> 00:00:08,559
Catch all-new episodes Sundays
and check out
our other Fox programs...
4
00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:11,629
Brooklyn Nine-Nine,
Bob's Burgers and Family Guy.
5
00:00:11,630 --> 00:00:14,529
What is this,
and how can I make the rest
of my life about it?
6
00:00:14,530 --> 00:00:15,760
Only on Fox.
7
00:00:26,140 --> 00:00:27,570
Okay, Homie,
8
00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:29,009
I'm plugging it in.
9
00:00:29,010 --> 00:00:30,340
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait!
10
00:00:30,350 --> 00:00:32,819
The gravestones could be
a little more crooked.
11
00:00:32,820 --> 00:00:34,149
Oh!
12
00:00:34,150 --> 00:00:36,480
Let me just fluff up
these entrails.
13
00:00:36,490 --> 00:00:38,089
And...
14
00:00:38,090 --> 00:00:39,160
light it up.
15
00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:41,319
(wolf howls)
16
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,250
Bleh, bleh, bleh,
bleh, bleh, bleh.
17
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:45,199
Halloween at the Simpsons'.
18
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,499
What a classic tradition!
19
00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:48,099
Are you heading up
to the tree house
20
00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:50,169
to tell three horrifying tales?
21
00:00:50,170 --> 00:00:51,699
Ah, we're doing it next week.
22
00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:54,160
It's gonna be Psycho
with Skinner and his mom,
23
00:00:54,170 --> 00:00:56,769
Muppet Wizard of Oz...
I'm Scarecrow-Fozzie...
24
00:00:56,770 --> 00:01:00,000
And then, uh,
one where furniture gets smart
25
00:01:00,010 --> 00:01:01,709
and takes over the world
or something.
26
00:01:01,710 --> 00:01:03,370
Mmm!
Sounds chilling!
27
00:01:03,380 --> 00:01:04,849
Eh. People love it.
28
00:01:04,850 --> 00:01:07,419
Everscream Terrors
looks amazing this year.
29
00:01:07,420 --> 00:01:10,719
I've never seen black cats
with such arched backs.
30
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,219
Well, you gotta bring it.
31
00:01:12,220 --> 00:01:14,550
Halloweening your house
is a dying art.
32
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,359
More and more people are turning
off their porch lights
33
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:20,229
and pretending they're not home.
34
00:01:20,230 --> 00:01:22,369
Halloween skippers.
35
00:01:22,370 --> 00:01:23,399
Skippers!
36
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,069
How can you reject a holiday
37
00:01:25,070 --> 00:01:28,209
where you can serve candy
from a salad bowl?
38
00:01:28,210 --> 00:01:29,309
Bad news, Dad.
39
00:01:29,310 --> 00:01:30,809
You stored the plastic skeletons
40
00:01:30,810 --> 00:01:32,209
too close to the furnace.
41
00:01:32,210 --> 00:01:34,309
Eh, I'll take it
to the old folks' home
42
00:01:34,310 --> 00:01:36,370
and tell Grampa
it's his new roommate.
43
00:01:36,380 --> 00:01:37,415
Everyone in the car!
44
00:01:37,416 --> 00:01:38,970
We're making a skeleton run
45
00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:40,379
to the Halloween pop-up store.
46
00:01:40,380 --> 00:01:42,210
Ooh, while we're there,
47
00:01:42,220 --> 00:01:43,955
we can get a costume
for the dog.
48
00:01:43,956 --> 00:01:45,410
Nothing says you love a pet
49
00:01:45,420 --> 00:01:47,950
like letting him be part
of the human fun.
50
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:50,059
Who wants to be a Yoda?
51
00:01:50,060 --> 00:01:52,400
You want to be a Yoda!
52
00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,469
Ooh.
53
00:01:55,470 --> 00:01:56,870
Ooh!
54
00:01:58,170 --> 00:02:00,439
Oh, man, I can't
wait for tonight!
55
00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:01,669
I'm finally old enough
56
00:02:01,670 --> 00:02:03,669
for Krustyland
Halloween Horror Night.
57
00:02:03,670 --> 00:02:05,300
Oh, yeah, they do it up right.
58
00:02:05,310 --> 00:02:06,909
Wait till you try
the black cotton candy.
59
00:02:06,910 --> 00:02:09,309
It tastes
just like cotton candy.
60
00:02:09,310 --> 00:02:11,440
Tomorrow, when my friends
ask me about it,
61
00:02:11,450 --> 00:02:14,349
I'm gonna say, "Eh, it wasn't
that big a deal."
62
00:02:14,350 --> 00:02:17,280
But it's gonna be
a really, really big deal!
63
00:02:17,290 --> 00:02:20,859
Welcome, seasonal customer,
to my pop-up emporium.
64
00:02:20,860 --> 00:02:23,459
Behold my terrifying joke name.
65
00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:24,629
A-boo!
66
00:02:24,630 --> 00:02:28,129
Hmm, you know, I actually
like that better.
67
00:02:28,130 --> 00:02:29,590
Hey, hey!
68
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:30,869
Why are you not working?!
69
00:02:30,870 --> 00:02:32,669
'Cause I'm still coming down
70
00:02:32,670 --> 00:02:37,109
from huffing
all that glow stick juice, man.
71
00:02:37,110 --> 00:02:40,439
Oh, I'm strung out
on silly string.
72
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:42,600
(sneezes)
73
00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:43,870
(groans)
74
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,479
Go, go! Back to work!
75
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,640
Go de-tangle
the novelty cobwebs,
76
00:02:47,650 --> 00:02:50,110
you lazy trick-or-treat trash.
77
00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,959
(muttering indistinctly)
78
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,129
Aren't you being
a little hard on them?
79
00:02:55,130 --> 00:02:56,459
Mrs. Simpson,
80
00:02:56,460 --> 00:02:57,959
these are pop-up people.
81
00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,890
Temporary workers
who drift from town to town,
82
00:03:00,900 --> 00:03:02,529
holiday to holiday,
83
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:05,690
living off candy hearts
and sleeping on Easter grass.
84
00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:07,860
If I do not show them
a firm hand,
85
00:03:07,870 --> 00:03:10,500
they would rob me like
Striped Hamburger Thief
86
00:03:10,510 --> 00:03:12,679
robs Restaurant Meat Clown.
87
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,479
♪
88
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:16,549
Ooh! Mariachi skeletons.
89
00:03:16,550 --> 00:03:20,149
They're spooky, but they also
teach you about Mexico.
90
00:03:20,150 --> 00:03:23,249
Psst! Hey, big man,
how about this deal:
91
00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:26,319
you buy one from me...
In cash...
92
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:30,189
And I'll load three more
into your car for free.
93
00:03:30,190 --> 00:03:31,650
That is a great deal.
94
00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:34,159
Just don't tell Old
Man Squishee about it.
95
00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:35,560
Hmm.
96
00:03:36,530 --> 00:03:39,330
(grunting and chuckling)
97
00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:41,739
You got some great guys
working here.
98
00:03:41,740 --> 00:03:43,939
They just gave me
a really good deal.
99
00:03:43,940 --> 00:03:45,339
Really?
100
00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:46,870
Tell me of this deal.
101
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:49,679
Okay, but don't tell
Old Man Squishee about it.
102
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,679
We hate him.
103
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,579
Get out. Out, all of you!
104
00:03:53,580 --> 00:03:55,380
Pop-up scum! Out!
105
00:03:55,390 --> 00:03:58,689
No one rips off
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon!
106
00:03:58,690 --> 00:04:02,090
Now take your suspiciously full
duffle bags and go!
107
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:07,099
You're gonna be real sorry
for getting us fired.
108
00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:08,769
Well, I'm sorry now.
109
00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:11,099
Yeah, you're gonna be.
110
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:13,230
I said, I'm sorry now.
111
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:16,409
We said, you're gonna be!
112
00:04:16,410 --> 00:04:19,039
I know when I'm sorry,
and I'm sorry now!
113
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,340
You guys don't know me at all.
114
00:04:24,110 --> 00:04:26,379
(Krusty laughing spookily
over speakers)
115
00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:29,310
KRUSTY: Hand stamp required
for re-entry!
116
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:31,759
(laughing spookily)
117
00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:33,559
That's not scary.
118
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:35,159
I thought this was
gonna be scary.
119
00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:36,829
(giggles)
120
00:04:36,830 --> 00:04:38,599
(grunts)
121
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:40,599
(growls)
122
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,729
Scary!
123
00:04:42,730 --> 00:04:45,160
That's really, uh, anatomical.
124
00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:46,939
Lot of anatomy there.
125
00:04:46,940 --> 00:04:49,509
Oh, yeah,
the gore is super realistic.
126
00:04:49,510 --> 00:04:53,409
It's gotta be... today's consumer
is just too sophisticated.
127
00:04:53,410 --> 00:04:54,439
(growling)
128
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:58,140
(screaming)
129
00:04:58,150 --> 00:05:00,149
(screams loudly)
130
00:05:00,150 --> 00:05:03,189
I want to go home!
I want to go home!
131
00:05:03,190 --> 00:05:04,449
What? No!
132
00:05:04,450 --> 00:05:05,780
We just got here!
133
00:05:05,790 --> 00:05:08,489
Lisa, honey,
I think you should stay.
134
00:05:08,490 --> 00:05:11,620
And not because the tickets
were super expensive,
135
00:05:11,630 --> 00:05:15,629
even though they were
super expensive.
136
00:05:15,630 --> 00:05:18,360
But remember, you were
really looking forward
137
00:05:18,370 --> 00:05:20,439
to the fun of being scared by
138
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,869
stuff you know isn't real.
(gasps)
139
00:05:22,870 --> 00:05:26,639
Unlike the money I spent
on this, which is very real.
140
00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,370
Okay.
141
00:05:28,380 --> 00:05:30,679
Okay, I'll give it another try.
142
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,649
Good, now take my hand
143
00:05:32,650 --> 00:05:35,019
and I'll walk you through
this roiling zombie horde.
144
00:05:35,020 --> 00:05:36,619
(zombies moaning)
145
00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:38,389
This isn't real.
146
00:05:38,390 --> 00:05:40,629
This isn't real.
This isn't real.
147
00:05:40,630 --> 00:05:42,280
This isn't real.
148
00:05:42,290 --> 00:05:43,550
(gasps)
149
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,299
(Lisa screams in distance)
150
00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:48,999
Sir? Sir?
151
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,229
I-I'm not...
Hold on, Lisa,
152
00:05:51,230 --> 00:05:53,030
Daddy's picking out
a pretzel topping.
153
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,499
Sir?
154
00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:55,500
Oh...
155
00:05:55,510 --> 00:05:57,069
Oh, no, I'm lost!
156
00:05:57,070 --> 00:05:58,500
Okay, find a grown-up.
157
00:05:58,510 --> 00:06:00,309
Find a grown-up.
158
00:06:00,310 --> 00:06:02,479
Excuse me, I'm lost.
159
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:04,479
Could you please help me...
160
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:05,940
(screams)
161
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:08,649
I can't find my family
162
00:06:08,650 --> 00:06:09,910
and I'm really scared and I...
163
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:11,620
(screams)
164
00:06:13,060 --> 00:06:15,930
(zombies moaning)
165
00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:20,300
(gasps)
166
00:06:24,830 --> 00:06:26,460
(mumbling deliriously)
167
00:06:28,270 --> 00:06:31,339
Sir, looks like we've got
a scaredy-pants situation here.
168
00:06:31,340 --> 00:06:33,000
Zoom in and scan for fear.
169
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,540
Terror level seven and rising.
170
00:06:36,550 --> 00:06:38,179
Shut it down.
Shut it all down.
171
00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:40,940
Shut the whole damn thing down!
172
00:06:44,950 --> 00:06:46,380
SUPERVISOR:
Attention!
173
00:06:46,390 --> 00:06:48,589
Bring all laughter
and exhilaration
174
00:06:48,590 --> 00:06:50,450
to a complete stop.
175
00:06:50,460 --> 00:06:54,699
The terrifying good time
is on hold.
176
00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:56,535
We have located and are removing
177
00:06:56,536 --> 00:06:58,390
the baby that thinks
this is real.
178
00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,699
Reset time is 65 minutes.
179
00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:02,100
(groaning, grumbling)
180
00:07:02,110 --> 00:07:03,779
All parking validations
are now void.
181
00:07:03,780 --> 00:07:05,730
(grumbling)
182
00:07:05,740 --> 00:07:08,470
Sir...
183
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,279
(whimpering)
184
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:11,680
(crying)
185
00:07:17,090 --> 00:07:19,319
Mm-hmm.
186
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:20,580
Lisa, aren't you going to wear
187
00:07:20,590 --> 00:07:22,489
your costume to school?
188
00:07:22,490 --> 00:07:25,290
No, I'm not doing
Halloween this year.
189
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:28,129
Oh, sweetie, I know you
had a scare last night,
190
00:07:28,130 --> 00:07:31,629
but you worked so hard on
your Frida Kahlo outfit.
191
00:07:31,630 --> 00:07:33,730
Maybe just wear the
eyebrow and mustache?
192
00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:34,769
No!
193
00:07:34,770 --> 00:07:36,769
No!
194
00:07:36,770 --> 00:07:38,600
You kids look great.
195
00:07:38,610 --> 00:07:40,609
Delightful.
196
00:07:40,610 --> 00:07:42,349
No place like home.
(chuckles)
197
00:07:42,350 --> 00:07:43,809
Hold on, Simpson.
198
00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:46,579
Let's take a look
at that buccaneer costume.
199
00:07:46,580 --> 00:07:48,010
No weapons, of course.
200
00:07:48,020 --> 00:07:50,619
Bandana, possible gang wear.
201
00:07:50,620 --> 00:07:52,789
Eye patch, offensive
to the half-blind.
202
00:07:52,790 --> 00:07:54,159
Oh, and just to reassure
203
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:55,530
those who are
afraid of pirates...
204
00:07:56,590 --> 00:07:58,020
(groans)
205
00:07:58,990 --> 00:08:00,690
(gasps, shudders)
206
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:06,800
(gasps)
207
00:08:10,370 --> 00:08:12,200
(gasps)
208
00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,280
(screams)
209
00:08:15,281 --> 00:08:16,609
No! Leave me alone!
210
00:08:16,610 --> 00:08:18,810
Leave me alone!
211
00:08:18,820 --> 00:08:20,890
(panting)
212
00:08:25,790 --> 00:08:26,890
Lisa.
213
00:08:29,660 --> 00:08:33,559
(gasping)
214
00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:35,960
(shuddering)
215
00:08:35,970 --> 00:08:40,069
Homer, I think we should
take down Everscream Terrors.
216
00:08:40,070 --> 00:08:42,839
Wha... W-We... we can't!
217
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,175
I'm the Mozart
of Halloween decorations,
218
00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:46,839
and tonight is the Super Bowl.
219
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,670
Lisa's in a bad place.
220
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:50,849
You know how sensitive she is.
221
00:08:50,850 --> 00:08:52,849
We don't want her
to go back to...
222
00:08:52,850 --> 00:08:54,379
Tailee.
223
00:08:54,380 --> 00:08:55,640
No, she wouldn't.
224
00:08:55,650 --> 00:08:56,650
She couldn't.
225
00:08:56,651 --> 00:08:57,980
Not Tailee.
226
00:08:57,990 --> 00:09:00,130
Where is she?
227
00:09:01,060 --> 00:09:02,730
(both gasp)
228
00:09:03,690 --> 00:09:05,990
HOMER:
Oh. Oh.
229
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,000
Ah, let's see.
230
00:09:07,001 --> 00:09:08,429
(gasps)
231
00:09:08,430 --> 00:09:09,660
Oh, God.
232
00:09:09,670 --> 00:09:11,229
We're too late.
233
00:09:11,230 --> 00:09:13,830
The glue stick didn't hold.
234
00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:18,000
So, Tailee's back.
235
00:09:18,010 --> 00:09:19,679
Hmm.
236
00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:21,779
Tailee just makes me
feel so safe.
237
00:09:21,780 --> 00:09:23,715
I don't know why
I ever gave it up.
238
00:09:23,716 --> 00:09:26,840
Breaks my heart that Lisa
can't deal with her emotions
239
00:09:26,850 --> 00:09:28,119
without a crutch.
240
00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:30,320
Well, kids are weak, Marge.
241
00:09:31,850 --> 00:09:32,950
Oh, yeah.
242
00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:35,620
No. No!
243
00:09:35,630 --> 00:09:36,789
Stop it!
244
00:09:36,790 --> 00:09:39,250
Why are you taking down
Everscream Terrors?
245
00:09:39,260 --> 00:09:42,690
Our house has to be
a Halloween-free zone.
246
00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:45,699
Your sister has a tummy ache
in her courage.
247
00:09:45,700 --> 00:09:47,030
What?
248
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,309
Lisa goes nuts,
and you turn us into...
249
00:09:49,310 --> 00:09:50,939
into skippers?!
250
00:09:50,940 --> 00:09:52,909
I know what this makes us.
251
00:09:52,910 --> 00:09:54,879
I know!
252
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:56,379
Honey, I knew you'd be upset,
253
00:09:56,380 --> 00:09:58,919
and that you'd think
only of yourself.
254
00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:01,049
So I'm taking you to the best
255
00:10:01,050 --> 00:10:02,589
trick-or-treating
block party
256
00:10:02,590 --> 00:10:04,919
in the tri-Springfield area.
257
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:07,550
There's a dad who's a deejay.
258
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,889
Even an E.T. who
says your name.
259
00:10:09,890 --> 00:10:12,920
What if I tell the E.T.
my name is a swear?
260
00:10:12,930 --> 00:10:14,169
He'll have to say it.
261
00:10:14,170 --> 00:10:15,660
Then I'm in.
262
00:10:17,770 --> 00:10:19,840
(sighs)
263
00:10:23,470 --> 00:10:24,769
(bowl rattles)
264
00:10:24,770 --> 00:10:26,130
NELSON:
Haw haw!
265
00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:27,670
(sighs)
266
00:10:30,580 --> 00:10:32,949
Okay, sweetie,
267
00:10:32,950 --> 00:10:36,319
just you and me spending
a regular eve together.
268
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:37,859
Nothing hallows about it.
269
00:10:37,860 --> 00:10:40,480
I'm sorry
I ruined Halloween, Dad.
270
00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:41,959
(scoffs)
Ruined?
271
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:45,159
Why, you just created
a new holiday...
272
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,290
Puzzle Wednesday.
273
00:10:47,300 --> 00:10:50,099
A tabby and a calico.
274
00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:53,099
(chuckles) I wouldn't want
to be that ribbon.
275
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:54,830
(doorbell rings)
276
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,209
Oh, trick-or-treaters.
277
00:10:56,210 --> 00:10:58,180
Don't worry, I'll
get rid of them.
278
00:10:59,370 --> 00:11:00,939
Trick or treat.
279
00:11:00,940 --> 00:11:01,770
Porch light's off, kids.
280
00:11:01,780 --> 00:11:03,179
Don't you know what that means?
281
00:11:03,180 --> 00:11:06,119
We're not here
for candy, big man.
282
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,619
Hey, you're those
pop-up scuzzos.
283
00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:10,119
What do you scuzzos want?
284
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,119
We want our jobs back.
285
00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:13,880
Look, I don't want to be rude,
286
00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:17,729
but you sad losers should
go suck somewhere else.
287
00:11:17,730 --> 00:11:19,199
Uh, uh...
288
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,729
That? (chuckles):
Oh, that was just
289
00:11:21,730 --> 00:11:23,990
a kindly priest here
to bless our home.
290
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,899
I told him to keep moving.
291
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,130
(doorbell rings, Lisa whimpers)
292
00:11:27,140 --> 00:11:28,839
(chuckles nervously):
Hey.
293
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:30,739
Another visitor?
294
00:11:30,740 --> 00:11:32,679
Isn't life funny and safe?
295
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:34,839
Can't you jerks take a hint?!
296
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:36,400
Huh?
297
00:11:36,410 --> 00:11:38,340
Hmm, hmm?
298
00:11:38,350 --> 00:11:40,019
(whimpers)
299
00:11:40,020 --> 00:11:42,549
THUGS (singsongy):
♪ Creepy nursery rhyme
300
00:11:42,550 --> 00:11:46,880
♪ Like in every movie.
301
00:11:50,230 --> 00:11:51,960
HOMER:
Mind games!
302
00:11:54,030 --> 00:11:56,029
Whoa, look at this line.
303
00:11:56,030 --> 00:11:58,330
This neighborhood
has to be good.
304
00:11:59,870 --> 00:12:01,669
Sorry, ma'am, residents only.
305
00:12:01,670 --> 00:12:04,669
Too many randos crashed
the block party last year,
306
00:12:04,670 --> 00:12:07,670
so "Spine Chills"
is Pine Hills only.
307
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:10,279
(whining): Mom, you
said we could go here.
308
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,079
We will, we will.
309
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:16,610
Look, I've got a Groupon here
for a zip line adventure.
310
00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:19,189
Let us in, and it's yours.
311
00:12:19,190 --> 00:12:22,189
Zip-lining is everything to me,
but if I take that,
312
00:12:22,190 --> 00:12:24,689
I'm not worth the folding chair
I'm sitting on.
313
00:12:24,690 --> 00:12:26,690
Now, turn around and go.
314
00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:28,600
♪
315
00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:34,670
BART:
Aw, a bounce house.
316
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,739
Aw...
317
00:12:39,740 --> 00:12:40,939
E.T.?
318
00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:43,100
E.T.:
Hello, Scrotum.
319
00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:45,910
(groans):
Oh.
320
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:46,949
It's over.
321
00:12:46,950 --> 00:12:49,020
I missed Halloween.
322
00:12:50,090 --> 00:12:51,549
(hums)
323
00:12:51,550 --> 00:12:53,280
I can't let Lisa know
324
00:12:53,290 --> 00:12:56,089
we're being stalked
by vengeful seasonal thugs.
325
00:12:56,090 --> 00:12:58,089
I'll just whistle a happy tune.
326
00:12:58,090 --> 00:13:00,890
(whistles theme from Halloween)
327
00:13:13,070 --> 00:13:15,900
(humming theme from Halloween)
328
00:13:18,110 --> 00:13:20,140
Why are you locking
up the house?
329
00:13:20,150 --> 00:13:22,149
Why...? You've...
330
00:13:22,150 --> 00:13:24,149
Wh-Why does anything happen?
331
00:13:24,150 --> 00:13:25,950
Why are blue jeans blue?
332
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,959
Who invented haircuts?
(laughs)
333
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,860
It's all just stuff I'm saying.
334
00:13:31,860 --> 00:13:32,860
Oh.
335
00:13:32,861 --> 00:13:34,790
How did that get there?
336
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:35,870
(muffled scream)
337
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:42,500
Okay, okay,
intruders in the house.
338
00:13:42,510 --> 00:13:43,510
Intruders in the house.
339
00:13:43,510 --> 00:13:44,510
Got to call the cops.
340
00:13:44,510 --> 00:13:45,510
Where's my cell phone?
341
00:13:45,511 --> 00:13:47,509
They took my cell phone.
342
00:13:47,510 --> 00:13:49,549
And they forgot to pay
my phone bill.
343
00:13:49,550 --> 00:13:53,519
Wait, why are we going
to Mr. Flanders' house?
344
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:55,519
Oh, you know, to see his kids.
345
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:59,019
I want to finally find out which
one is Rod and which one is Max.
346
00:13:59,020 --> 00:14:00,380
(gasps) Tailee!
I left him inside.
347
00:14:00,390 --> 00:14:01,390
Oh.
348
00:14:01,391 --> 00:14:02,930
D'oh!
349
00:14:05,830 --> 00:14:08,829
Lisa! Lisa! Lisa!
350
00:14:08,830 --> 00:14:10,390
LISA:
Dad?
351
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,539
Oh. Oh, Lisa.
352
00:14:12,540 --> 00:14:14,539
You're here, we're safe.
353
00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:16,539
Everything's fine.
354
00:14:16,540 --> 00:14:20,250
Except for this
inexplicable fog.
355
00:14:23,140 --> 00:14:24,840
Boo.
356
00:14:24,850 --> 00:14:26,549
(screams)
(screams)
Oh, my God!
357
00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:28,519
LISA: Oh, my God!
HOMER: (screams) No!
358
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,149
(Lisa screams)
We got to get out of here!
359
00:14:30,150 --> 00:14:31,410
LISA: He smells so bad!
Come on, this way!
360
00:14:31,420 --> 00:14:33,060
Oh, my God, Dad, help!
This way! Come on!
361
00:14:34,990 --> 00:14:37,759
Give me a hit off
that fog machine.
362
00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,960
We got a fat man to beat on.
363
00:14:42,030 --> 00:14:44,100
(whooping)
364
00:14:50,210 --> 00:14:52,039
MAN:
Here we come.
365
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:55,039
MAN 2:
We're coming
to get you.
366
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:57,110
(laughter)
367
00:15:00,850 --> 00:15:04,860
Okay, okay, I don't think those
pop-up guys saw us come up here.
368
00:15:06,690 --> 00:15:10,229
This isn't real, this isn't
real, this isn't real.
369
00:15:10,230 --> 00:15:12,229
Honey, I'm your dad.
370
00:15:12,230 --> 00:15:16,469
I've lied to you more times
than there are stars in the sky.
371
00:15:16,470 --> 00:15:18,269
But I got to be straight.
372
00:15:18,270 --> 00:15:19,969
This is real.
373
00:15:19,970 --> 00:15:21,569
(whimpers)
374
00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:23,569
Okay, Halloween isn't over yet.
375
00:15:23,570 --> 00:15:27,039
We can still squeeze in some
solid trick-or-treating.
376
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:28,639
(tires screeching)
377
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,140
Hurry, go, go, go!
378
00:15:31,150 --> 00:15:32,649
What? What's the rush?
379
00:15:32,650 --> 00:15:34,449
Go, go, have fun.
380
00:15:34,450 --> 00:15:36,050
There's still time.
381
00:15:39,090 --> 00:15:42,089
(gasps)
It's too late.
382
00:15:42,090 --> 00:15:44,690
The change is upon us.
383
00:15:46,130 --> 00:15:48,429
♪ The children are
all sleeping ♪
384
00:15:48,430 --> 00:15:50,990
♪ Not one kiddie
on the streets ♪
385
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,669
♪ The fun's just starting
for Mommy and Daddy ♪
386
00:15:53,670 --> 00:15:54,799
♪ Sexy tricks
387
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,230
BOTH:
♪ And boozy treats
388
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,469
♪ Drunken hobbits
389
00:15:58,470 --> 00:16:02,270
♪ Hit on slutty crayons
390
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:06,819
♪ Policeman dressed
as bondage Frankenstein ♪
391
00:16:06,820 --> 00:16:09,089
♪ Your kid's teacher
392
00:16:09,090 --> 00:16:11,119
♪ In a steampunk orgy
393
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,689
♪ Ha
394
00:16:12,690 --> 00:16:17,489
♪ Grown-ups become monsters
after 9:00 ♪
395
00:16:17,490 --> 00:16:21,690
♪ It's time
for grown-up Halloween ♪
396
00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:26,070
♪ Close your eyes
if you're under 18 ♪
397
00:16:27,270 --> 00:16:29,769
♪ It's my chance
to show boobs ♪
398
00:16:29,770 --> 00:16:32,530
♪ Live my fantasy...
399
00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:35,200
♪ 'Cause tomorrow morning
400
00:16:35,210 --> 00:16:38,270
♪ We won't remember a thing
401
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:41,149
♪ Our lives are awful
and dreary ♪
402
00:16:41,150 --> 00:16:44,159
♪ So tonight we're going way,
way, way, way, way too far ♪
403
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,210
♪ Hide your kids
404
00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:49,220
♪ This cannot be unseen
405
00:16:49,230 --> 00:16:53,299
♪ It's naked, wasted,
grown-up Halloween. ♪
406
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:54,329
(tires screeching)
407
00:16:54,330 --> 00:16:55,130
(burps)
408
00:16:55,131 --> 00:16:57,060
(cheering)
409
00:16:58,170 --> 00:17:01,199
Can't hide forever,
thumb-head.
410
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,200
Sooner or later,
you're gonna have to buy
411
00:17:03,210 --> 00:17:05,209
Thanksgiving decoration,
412
00:17:05,210 --> 00:17:08,339
and we'll be waiting
by the Indian corn.
413
00:17:08,340 --> 00:17:09,970
(clattering)
414
00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:12,679
Oh, no, now they're trashing
our stuff.
415
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,479
(chiming)
416
00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,480
Oh, they've tangled up
my wind chimes.
417
00:17:16,490 --> 00:17:18,519
How will I know
when the wind is blowing?
418
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:22,080
(groans) I hate this.
I hate feeling afraid.
419
00:17:22,090 --> 00:17:24,089
Maybe I shouldn't
admit this to my daughter,
420
00:17:24,090 --> 00:17:26,250
but I'm scared, too.
421
00:17:26,260 --> 00:17:28,990
But you can't let fear
shut down your brain,
422
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,739
because between the two of us,
we've only got one good one.
423
00:17:32,740 --> 00:17:34,810
I've got it.
424
00:17:36,740 --> 00:17:40,909
What if... we use these
decorations to signal for help?
425
00:17:40,910 --> 00:17:43,009
You're right.
426
00:17:43,010 --> 00:17:47,010
I may not be the smartest dad
or the bravest or the smartest,
427
00:17:47,020 --> 00:17:50,755
but I am great at one thing:
drawing attention to our home.
428
00:17:50,756 --> 00:17:52,580
If we're gonna get out of this,
429
00:17:52,590 --> 00:17:55,190
we're going to need
every holiday you've got.
430
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:59,120
♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay
431
00:17:59,130 --> 00:18:02,399
♪ Halloween is so bueno... ♪
432
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,969
Ooh, the Señor Skeletinos.
433
00:18:05,970 --> 00:18:07,969
He must have leaned
on the "try me" button.
434
00:18:07,970 --> 00:18:10,239
(laughs maniacally)
435
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,539
(taunting):
We're coming to get you.
436
00:18:12,540 --> 00:18:17,210
And no fancy ceiling door
is gonna stop us.
437
00:18:18,210 --> 00:18:19,270
(gasps)
438
00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:22,549
MAN:
Almost got it.
439
00:18:22,550 --> 00:18:23,810
(grunts)
440
00:18:23,820 --> 00:18:24,820
Stuck.
441
00:18:24,821 --> 00:18:26,389
(grunting)
442
00:18:26,390 --> 00:18:28,059
They're coming... hurry!
443
00:18:28,060 --> 00:18:30,390
Time to wake up
the neighborhood.
444
00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:33,700
D'oh!
445
00:18:34,630 --> 00:18:35,630
D'oh!
446
00:18:35,631 --> 00:18:37,490
(thugs clamoring)
447
00:18:38,970 --> 00:18:41,269
Here we go.
448
00:18:41,270 --> 00:18:42,809
(panting):
Hurry.
449
00:18:42,810 --> 00:18:44,409
Light the fireworks.
450
00:18:44,410 --> 00:18:47,310
The match won't stay lit...
It's too windy.
451
00:18:49,110 --> 00:18:52,109
I've got something
that will burn.
452
00:18:52,110 --> 00:18:53,670
(gasps)
Are you sure?
453
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:56,680
Yes, this ratty
piece of polyester
454
00:18:56,690 --> 00:18:59,789
has been soaking in face
oil for eight years.
455
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:01,430
Light him up.
456
00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:08,260
Good-bye, Tailee.
457
00:19:11,330 --> 00:19:13,030
(whistling and popping)
458
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:14,469
(gasping)
What the...?
459
00:19:14,470 --> 00:19:15,940
Huh?
460
00:19:22,810 --> 00:19:25,009
Now plug it in!
461
00:19:25,010 --> 00:19:26,310
(people gasping)
462
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:27,949
Help, help!
463
00:19:27,950 --> 00:19:29,289
Help! We're up here!
464
00:19:29,290 --> 00:19:30,290
(muffled speech)
465
00:19:30,291 --> 00:19:32,519
Everscream Terrors
needs our help!
466
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:35,050
We can get plastered
and hit on our coworkers later.
467
00:19:35,060 --> 00:19:36,129
Come on!
468
00:19:36,130 --> 00:19:37,329
Get 'em, Zardoz!
469
00:19:37,330 --> 00:19:38,629
(gasping)
470
00:19:38,630 --> 00:19:40,499
Sexy drunks, stop them!
471
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:42,570
(groaning)
472
00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:47,069
Tragic, really.
473
00:19:47,070 --> 00:19:50,039
For are these guys not
victims, too, in a way,
474
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,309
of our disposable
pop-up culture?
475
00:19:52,310 --> 00:19:54,339
When you get out, look me up.
476
00:19:54,340 --> 00:19:57,340
I know a guy who owns
a 99-cent store.
477
00:19:57,350 --> 00:20:00,379
99-cent store?
478
00:20:00,380 --> 00:20:03,380
Those places
are open year-round!
479
00:20:03,390 --> 00:20:05,389
The holidays will come and go,
480
00:20:05,390 --> 00:20:08,260
but... (sniffles)
we'll stay.
481
00:20:10,490 --> 00:20:12,990
Grown-up Halloween
seemed pretty fun.
482
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,999
I saw an areola.
483
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,999
Oh, man, this is
the lamest night
484
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,300
of my entire miserable
li... (gasps)
485
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:22,939
Yes!
486
00:20:22,940 --> 00:20:25,440
Everscream Terrors is back!
487
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:28,209
(Bart laughs)
488
00:20:28,210 --> 00:20:30,879
Stop it, stop it!
This will scare Lisa!
489
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:31,949
Boo!
490
00:20:31,950 --> 00:20:33,020
(gasping)
491
00:20:33,950 --> 00:20:36,519
(giggles)
492
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:38,289
My brave girl.
493
00:20:38,290 --> 00:20:40,360
I burned Tailee.
494
00:20:43,390 --> 00:20:44,750
(laughs)
495
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,559
Foolish Simpsons.
496
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,120
This was not their typical
Halloween experience.
497
00:20:49,130 --> 00:20:52,229
Wow, cool alien voice, Lenny.
498
00:20:52,230 --> 00:20:54,530
Thanks, I've been
practicing it. As a mat...
499
00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:57,280
(normal voice):
Oh, damn it, I lost it.
500
00:21:17,430 --> 00:21:20,500
(theme from Halloween playing)
501
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:50,430
Shh!
502
00:21:53,260 --> 00:21:55,260
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH