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00:00:46,643 --> 00:00:47,876
D'oh!
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00:00:56,242 --> 00:01:00,242
♪ The Simpsons 26x01 ♪
Clown in the Dumps
Original Air Date on September 28, 2014
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00:01:00,266 --> 00:01:06,766
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
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D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh.
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Family.
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00:01:22,012 --> 00:01:24,246
Meet me at...
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00:01:24,281 --> 00:01:26,481
the kitchen cube.
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00:01:26,517 --> 00:01:27,816
D'oh. D'oh.
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00:01:27,851 --> 00:01:30,085
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh.
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00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:31,987
I am Simpson.
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00:01:32,022 --> 00:01:34,756
I am Simpson.
I am Simpson.
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00:01:36,627 --> 00:01:39,795
Don't... Don't
have cow, man.
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I am Simpson. I am Simpson.
Don't... Don't have cow, man.
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Don't... Don't have cow, man.
I am Simpson. I am Simpson.
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00:01:47,938 --> 00:01:52,040
Hail the dark lord
of the twin moons.
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00:01:52,075 --> 00:01:55,544
I am Simpson. I am Simpson.
Don't have cow, man.
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Simpson.
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Cow, man.
I am Simpson. I am Simpson.
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00:02:03,587 --> 00:02:06,555
Make purchase
of the merchandise.
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D'oh.
Don't have cow, man.
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I have... memories.
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I have.... memor... memor...
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Still love you, Homar.
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We are happy family.
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All animals can scream.
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Make purchase of
the merchandise.
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I am Simpson. I am Simpson.
Don't have cow, man.
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D'oh.
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Three feet, nine inches.
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That should do it.
Don't you know
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00:02:53,737 --> 00:02:55,737
what kind of animal
we're dealing with?
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Okay, enough theory.
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Hey, Dad.
We made popcorn.
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Woo-hoo!
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00:03:02,246 --> 00:03:03,812
Huh? Out of my reach?
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00:03:03,847 --> 00:03:07,649
Must... make... effort.
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Yay.
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Mr. Simpson,
you earned this.
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What's on TV?
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00:03:24,301 --> 00:03:26,268
Krusty's getting
roasted tonight.
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Hey.
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Sometimes the language
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on these gets a
little B-L-U-E.
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What?
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Oh.
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If you don't let us watch,
we'll just go to a house
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where some more
permissive parents will.
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How permissive?
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00:03:51,061 --> 00:03:53,495
Chief Wiggum shows us
crime photos at sleepovers.
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So this is what a body
looks like
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00:03:55,465 --> 00:03:58,466
after it drops
60 stories.
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00:03:58,502 --> 00:04:00,669
Uh, come on, Milhouse,
don't pretend you're asleep.
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00:04:00,704 --> 00:04:02,304
This is the world we live in.
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00:04:02,339 --> 00:04:03,505
Yeah.
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00:04:04,942 --> 00:04:07,876
Hey, Krusty, our local deli
just named a sandwich after you.
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00:04:07,911 --> 00:04:10,478
It's called
"The Unfunny Comedian."
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You will always be
remembered for
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00:04:12,516 --> 00:04:13,982
your countless
appearances on
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00:04:14,017 --> 00:04:15,350
the Krusty the Clown Show
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00:04:15,385 --> 00:04:17,686
and your one appearance
on To Catch A Predator.
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00:04:19,189 --> 00:04:21,923
Hey, I spent a lifetime
making people happy.
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Yeah-- plastic surgeons
and divorce lawyers.
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I was just about to say that.
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Oh, he took my laugh.
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Screw it, I'm doing it anyway.
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00:04:30,901 --> 00:04:34,736
Plastic surgeons
and divorce lawyers.
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00:04:36,573 --> 00:04:38,707
What a legend. Krusty
the Clown is to comedy
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00:04:38,742 --> 00:04:41,610
what Martin Luther King
is to comedy.
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00:04:45,115 --> 00:04:47,549
We've seen a lot
of top-flight comics tonight,
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00:04:47,584 --> 00:04:49,551
but that's over,
because it's time
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00:04:49,586 --> 00:04:51,620
to hear from Krusty the Clown.
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Welcome, Krusty.
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I grew up watching you.
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00:04:54,558 --> 00:04:55,857
Oh, uh, sorry.
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00:04:55,892 --> 00:04:57,826
I threw up watching you.
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00:05:00,497 --> 00:05:01,930
Sarah Silverman.
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00:05:01,965 --> 00:05:05,100
I say this with love,
you disrespectful skank.
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00:05:05,135 --> 00:05:07,802
You've had more... Oh.
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00:05:07,838 --> 00:05:10,038
Suddenly, I don't
feel like doing this.
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Sorry, Mini-ha-ha.
Canceling the bit.
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Tell the others.
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I thought this night would be
fun for me and my friends.
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I don't even know these people.
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00:05:24,788 --> 00:05:26,788
And I guess I don't
have any friends.
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My only comfort
is the roast is over
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and will only be shown
four times a day
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for the rest of all time.
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Krusty.
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Yeah?
Is your nose red
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because it's embarrassed
to be seen with you?
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00:05:40,003 --> 00:05:41,403
Oh, nobody warned me
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this roast would treat me
the same way
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as every roast I've seen
and laughed at.
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00:05:46,810 --> 00:05:49,544
...and the husband says,
"Who paid you a nickel?"
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00:05:49,579 --> 00:05:51,212
And the wife says,
"Everybody."
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00:05:53,650 --> 00:05:55,517
Oh, sorry,
wrong for this audience.
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00:05:55,552 --> 00:05:57,419
I thought Swapper Jack's
was something else.
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00:05:58,922 --> 00:06:01,156
Krusty, sorry
about the roast.
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00:06:01,191 --> 00:06:03,625
They had no right to say
those hilarious things.
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00:06:03,660 --> 00:06:06,327
How could they say
I'm past my prime?
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00:06:06,363 --> 00:06:08,763
Me-- the voice of Ovaltine.
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00:06:08,799 --> 00:06:10,598
Krusty, why don't you
talk to your dad?
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00:06:10,634 --> 00:06:12,434
He'll cheer you up.
He's a rabbi.
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00:06:12,469 --> 00:06:14,302
He must've learned something
from that giant star scroll
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he's always reading.
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00:06:15,672 --> 00:06:18,640
Kid, does talking to your dad
make you feel better?
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00:06:18,675 --> 00:06:20,742
Well, no, but he's not a rabbi.
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00:06:20,777 --> 00:06:23,111
More of a flabbi.
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00:06:23,146 --> 00:06:25,914
Why, you little...
I'll show you who's a flabbi!
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No, you're not a flabbi!
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Yeah, all muscle.
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In Minnesota, I'd be a supermodel.
Okay, I got it.
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00:06:35,058 --> 00:06:39,127
So, basically, I came here
so you could tell me the truth--
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that I'm great.
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As the Torah says:
Judgment belongs to God.
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The Torah also says
you can't eat ham,
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00:06:45,736 --> 00:06:47,836
and I'm the spokesman
for HamCo Ham.
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This is why I only call you
on Christmas and Easter.
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Wait, wait, wait. Please, Dad.
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Do you even think I'm funny?
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I'm not gonna lie
to you, for funny,
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00:06:56,012 --> 00:06:57,545
I prefer Rabbi Rudenstein.
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00:06:57,581 --> 00:07:00,849
He puts the "ha" in Hanukah
and the "levity" in Leviticus.
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00:07:00,884 --> 00:07:02,784
As for you, son,
if you want to know
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00:07:02,819 --> 00:07:06,755
my honest opinion of you,
you've always been... eh.
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00:07:06,790 --> 00:07:08,690
Go on.
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00:07:08,725 --> 00:07:11,693
I've always been
"Eh... ntertaining"?
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Dad?
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00:07:16,633 --> 00:07:18,066
Show me nose fog.
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00:07:20,103 --> 00:07:21,970
Oh, God, he's dead.
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00:07:22,005 --> 00:07:24,973
And he never lived
to see me be successful.
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00:07:32,056 --> 00:07:34,090
A pusten fas hilcht hecher.
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00:07:34,125 --> 00:07:36,826
"An empty barrel
reverberates loudly."
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00:07:36,861 --> 00:07:39,462
And today, my heart
is that barrel.
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00:07:39,497 --> 00:07:42,465
Even though my father and I
had our difficulties,
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00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:44,600
he was a great man.
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00:07:44,635 --> 00:07:46,569
And, well, he always...
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Wha?
Eh.
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Eh. Eh.
Eh.
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00:07:51,976 --> 00:07:54,210
Eh. Eh.
Eh.
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00:07:59,383 --> 00:08:00,883
Look, I'm an entertainer.
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00:08:00,918 --> 00:08:03,986
So maybe the best way to say
how I feel about my dad
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00:08:04,021 --> 00:08:05,888
is through a song
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00:08:05,923 --> 00:08:08,657
that someone else wrote
that I hired people to sing.
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00:08:08,693 --> 00:08:10,292
This is for you, Dad.
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00:08:10,328 --> 00:08:12,595
♪ He fought and fought ♪
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00:08:12,630 --> 00:08:14,964
♪ And fought for Jewish rights ♪
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00:08:14,999 --> 00:08:16,398
♪ Wisdom sought ♪
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00:08:16,434 --> 00:08:18,134
♪ Students taught ♪
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00:08:18,169 --> 00:08:21,904
♪ Rabbi Krustofsky's gone. ♪
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00:08:23,741 --> 00:08:25,741
Yeah, well, it's just...
well, I thought...
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00:08:25,776 --> 00:08:28,544
Seriously, it can be really
tough to lose your father.
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00:08:33,017 --> 00:08:34,416
Yasher Co-ack.
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00:08:34,452 --> 00:08:36,418
Let us all please rise.
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00:08:37,922 --> 00:08:39,255
Homer, get up.
156
00:08:40,358 --> 00:08:41,724
Huh? Oh, uh...
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00:08:44,195 --> 00:08:45,628
Oh! Oh!
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00:08:45,663 --> 00:08:47,696
Ooh!
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00:08:47,732 --> 00:08:49,598
Dad, are you okay?
160
00:08:49,634 --> 00:08:51,901
Yeah, yeah, great.
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00:08:51,936 --> 00:08:55,004
I guess my getting-up
days are over.
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00:09:00,344 --> 00:09:02,378
Dad, you're eating
too much.
163
00:09:02,413 --> 00:09:04,146
I'm worried about
your health.
164
00:09:04,182 --> 00:09:06,015
I don't want
to lose you.
165
00:09:08,052 --> 00:09:09,919
Oh, no.
166
00:09:09,954 --> 00:09:12,655
Krusty, I brought some
homemade chicken soup.
167
00:09:12,690 --> 00:09:15,691
We used the Play-Doh maker
for the matzo.
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00:09:15,726 --> 00:09:18,694
Uh, thanks, but I don't
really like soup.
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00:09:18,729 --> 00:09:21,230
But you wear that little spoon
around your neck.
170
00:09:22,466 --> 00:09:23,999
You really notice
stuff, don't you?
171
00:09:24,035 --> 00:09:26,669
Yes. And I can tell
how hard it was
172
00:09:26,704 --> 00:09:28,170
to lose your father.
173
00:09:28,206 --> 00:09:30,806
But at least you were there
to share his final thoughts.
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00:09:30,841 --> 00:09:31,907
Eh.
175
00:09:31,943 --> 00:09:33,943
No, no, it's a big thing.
176
00:09:33,978 --> 00:09:35,277
No, that's what he called me.
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00:09:35,313 --> 00:09:36,478
"Eh."
178
00:09:36,514 --> 00:09:38,414
Mm. It could be worse.
179
00:09:38,449 --> 00:09:39,682
Oh, yeah? How?
180
00:09:39,717 --> 00:09:40,749
I don't know, uh...
181
00:09:40,785 --> 00:09:42,484
how about...
182
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:44,153
That's a lot worse.
183
00:09:44,188 --> 00:09:46,322
Can you stop
comforting me now?
184
00:09:46,357 --> 00:09:49,692
Krusty, condolences
on your loss.
185
00:09:49,727 --> 00:09:52,695
So this is the Bob
186
00:09:52,730 --> 00:09:57,900
whose comedic genius
I can never live up to.
187
00:09:57,935 --> 00:10:01,570
Believe me, all of us
have thought about killing him.
188
00:10:07,545 --> 00:10:08,978
Clowns have it tough,
Krusty.
189
00:10:09,013 --> 00:10:11,080
I understand.
I was Professor Pickles
190
00:10:11,115 --> 00:10:13,616
with Ringling Brothers
for several years.
191
00:10:13,651 --> 00:10:15,351
The elephant and I
had our differences.
192
00:10:15,386 --> 00:10:16,619
So,
193
00:10:16,654 --> 00:10:18,754
what brings you here?
And don't say clown car.
194
00:10:18,789 --> 00:10:21,757
I'm a sad, tragic clown.
195
00:10:21,792 --> 00:10:23,993
Like what's his
name-- Liberace.
196
00:10:24,028 --> 00:10:26,028
Tell me about
your father, huh?
197
00:10:28,232 --> 00:10:30,065
Ah!
198
00:10:30,101 --> 00:10:32,401
Herschel, did you
read your Exodus?
199
00:10:32,436 --> 00:10:34,370
Oh, uh, oh, sure.
200
00:10:34,405 --> 00:10:37,306
Really? Then tell me,
what did the burning bush say?
201
00:10:37,341 --> 00:10:38,974
It said "Ow! Put me out!
202
00:10:39,010 --> 00:10:41,443
How many talking bushes
do you think there are?!"
203
00:10:42,580 --> 00:10:45,147
My son, you are a
big needy nothing
204
00:10:45,182 --> 00:10:46,615
that only
laughs can fill.
205
00:10:46,651 --> 00:10:48,851
I don't need laughs.
206
00:10:48,886 --> 00:10:49,886
Ha.
207
00:10:49,887 --> 00:10:52,121
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
208
00:10:52,156 --> 00:10:54,857
A big needy nothing.
209
00:10:54,892 --> 00:10:56,558
Wow. Wow.
210
00:10:56,594 --> 00:10:58,727
Krusty, would you like
a therapy dog?
211
00:10:58,763 --> 00:11:00,596
Yeah. With extra relish!
212
00:11:00,631 --> 00:11:03,032
Hey-hey! I still
got it, huh?
213
00:11:03,067 --> 00:11:05,534
Yes, if by "it"
you mean reflexive denial
214
00:11:05,569 --> 00:11:06,869
of your inner sadness.
215
00:11:06,904 --> 00:11:08,237
Hey-hey.
216
00:11:08,272 --> 00:11:09,512
Shut up, children.
217
00:11:10,608 --> 00:11:12,408
Boys and girls, you know
218
00:11:12,443 --> 00:11:15,577
that we've been dark
for a couple of days because
219
00:11:15,613 --> 00:11:18,847
of a tragic loss
in the Krustylu family.
220
00:11:18,883 --> 00:11:20,816
Now put your hands together
221
00:11:20,851 --> 00:11:23,752
for the man who's falling apart
before our eyes,
222
00:11:23,788 --> 00:11:26,689
Krusty the Clown!
223
00:11:31,829 --> 00:11:34,596
No monologue. Roll the cartoon.
224
00:11:40,805 --> 00:11:42,705
Oh, my God!
225
00:11:42,740 --> 00:11:46,075
Who made
this monstrosity?
226
00:11:46,110 --> 00:11:47,643
I did everything!
227
00:11:47,678 --> 00:11:51,480
Kids, I'm experiencing
a crisis of conscience.
228
00:11:53,117 --> 00:11:54,550
No, no, no, no!
229
00:11:54,585 --> 00:11:57,953
I don't deserve the prerecorded
applause of children long gone.
230
00:11:57,988 --> 00:12:00,622
I like Ike!
231
00:12:00,658 --> 00:12:02,958
Therefore,
I'm quitting the show.
232
00:12:02,993 --> 00:12:05,260
And I know Mel
will be quitting it with me.
233
00:12:05,296 --> 00:12:07,596
Yes, yes, buy the house.
It'll be...
234
00:12:07,631 --> 00:12:09,264
Uh, what?!
235
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:11,667
Today is the day
the pity laughter died.
236
00:12:11,702 --> 00:12:13,869
Krusty the Clown has retired.
237
00:12:13,904 --> 00:12:16,405
For a brief overview
of a half-century of ha-has,
238
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:19,174
here is Channel Six
TV critic Clive Meriwether.
239
00:12:19,210 --> 00:12:21,844
Krusty the Clown
will perhaps best be remembered
240
00:12:21,879 --> 00:12:25,247
for taking up two spots
in the Channel Six parking lot.
241
00:12:25,282 --> 00:12:29,184
On a personal level, he used to
call me Little Lord Tingaling.
242
00:12:29,220 --> 00:12:30,719
I shan't miss that.
243
00:12:30,755 --> 00:12:33,922
This man's only lasting legacies
are a law in his name
244
00:12:33,958 --> 00:12:37,793
limiting the working hours
of chimpanzees to 14 hours a day
245
00:12:37,828 --> 00:12:39,995
and the invention
of the payment of alimony
246
00:12:40,030 --> 00:12:42,331
by dropping hot pennies
from a helicopter.
247
00:12:42,366 --> 00:12:44,333
I give his life a D-plus.
248
00:12:44,368 --> 00:12:46,201
Good day to you.
249
00:12:46,237 --> 00:12:47,536
What will Krusty do now?
250
00:12:47,571 --> 00:12:49,671
I suppose only time will tell.
251
00:12:49,707 --> 00:12:51,940
Which is true
for all news stories, I guess.
252
00:12:51,976 --> 00:12:53,275
Until anyone realizes,
253
00:12:53,310 --> 00:12:55,611
I'm Kent Brockman
adding no useful information.
254
00:12:55,646 --> 00:12:57,613
And here's another sentence.
255
00:12:57,648 --> 00:13:00,616
You can tell I'm winding it up
because my voice is going up
256
00:13:00,651 --> 00:13:02,885
and down like this.
257
00:13:04,021 --> 00:13:06,855
Well, at least now
I have plenty of time
258
00:13:06,891 --> 00:13:09,191
to solve this Rubik's Cube.
259
00:13:09,226 --> 00:13:11,059
All right, what if I did...
260
00:13:11,095 --> 00:13:12,861
Oh!
261
00:13:20,362 --> 00:13:21,661
Mom, Dad.
262
00:13:21,696 --> 00:13:22,896
Yes, Lisa?
263
00:13:22,931 --> 00:13:24,397
What?
264
00:13:24,432 --> 00:13:26,566
I've been listening,
and Dad stops breathing
265
00:13:26,601 --> 00:13:29,068
for as long as
five minutes.
266
00:13:29,104 --> 00:13:31,938
Mind if I sleep with you guys
and keep an eye on him?
267
00:13:31,973 --> 00:13:34,941
Sweetie, you shouldn't have
to worry about such things.
268
00:13:37,846 --> 00:13:40,213
The doctor gave us this machine
to help him breathe
269
00:13:40,248 --> 00:13:41,548
in his sleep. Go to bed.
270
00:13:41,583 --> 00:13:43,082
I'll take care of him.
271
00:13:44,219 --> 00:13:45,518
No good. No good.
272
00:13:45,554 --> 00:13:47,187
Oh! Ooh! Ah!
273
00:13:47,222 --> 00:13:49,189
What do I do?
What do I do?
274
00:13:49,224 --> 00:13:52,325
Oh. Breathe,
Homie, breathe.
275
00:14:06,942 --> 00:14:09,576
Well, at least
Teeny's doing okay.
276
00:14:09,611 --> 00:14:12,512
He's in The Odd Couple
with David Hyde Pierce.
277
00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:15,081
Now, really, Oscar, would it
kill you to use a coaster?
278
00:14:18,053 --> 00:14:21,354
If you're going to go up there,
at least dust!
279
00:14:22,791 --> 00:14:26,092
Finally, done the way
I first imagined it.
280
00:14:26,127 --> 00:14:28,428
I'm gonna prove
you did groundbreaking work.
281
00:14:28,463 --> 00:14:29,963
Krusty, I want you
to binge-watch
282
00:14:29,998 --> 00:14:32,031
all the shows you've ever done.
283
00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:35,535
Well, I've never
said no to a binge.
284
00:14:36,438 --> 00:14:38,071
Deuteronomy?
285
00:14:38,106 --> 00:14:40,073
Isn't that the study of deuters?
286
00:14:40,108 --> 00:14:41,574
Hippocampus?
287
00:14:41,610 --> 00:14:44,744
Isn't that another name for
the University of Mississippi?
288
00:14:44,779 --> 00:14:46,212
Okay. I've been
on 50 years.
289
00:14:46,248 --> 00:14:48,414
You're bound
to repeat yourself a little.
290
00:14:48,450 --> 00:14:51,351
Unless I wanted to be sat on
by Mama Cass.
291
00:14:51,386 --> 00:14:54,587
Unless I wanted to be sat on
by Dom DeLuise.
292
00:14:54,623 --> 00:14:56,856
...by the cast of
What's Happening!
293
00:14:56,892 --> 00:14:59,025
...William "The Refrigerator"
Perry, everyone!
294
00:14:59,060 --> 00:15:01,194
...Newman from Seinfeld.
295
00:15:01,229 --> 00:15:03,029
...the whale from Whale Rider.
296
00:15:03,064 --> 00:15:05,298
...Adele!
297
00:15:05,333 --> 00:15:07,300
What? She's a guest star?!
298
00:15:12,407 --> 00:15:16,042
So that's why all
my cameramen have PTSD.
299
00:15:16,077 --> 00:15:18,278
Where's my whiskey funnel?!
300
00:15:18,313 --> 00:15:20,947
Young man, you should go.
301
00:15:20,982 --> 00:15:24,284
When the master is like this,
it is no place for children.
302
00:15:24,319 --> 00:15:25,952
Pour, Helga!
303
00:15:25,987 --> 00:15:27,754
It begins.
304
00:15:37,933 --> 00:15:40,800
Whoa. Where am I?
305
00:15:40,835 --> 00:15:42,302
Why, you're in
Jewish Heaven.
306
00:15:42,337 --> 00:15:43,636
Oh, this place is great.
307
00:15:43,672 --> 00:15:45,905
Why, my necktie
straightens itself.
308
00:15:45,941 --> 00:15:48,908
Even Portnoy has no complaints.
309
00:15:48,944 --> 00:15:51,611
And I tell you,
I get so much respect.
310
00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:54,180
Wow. So I made it to Heaven.
311
00:16:06,728 --> 00:16:08,695
This place is amazing!
312
00:16:08,730 --> 00:16:11,364
Schmuck,
there's no Jewish Heaven.
313
00:16:11,399 --> 00:16:13,499
Our faith teaches us
that once you're dead,
314
00:16:13,535 --> 00:16:15,835
that's it, kaput.
It's dark, it's cold.
315
00:16:15,870 --> 00:16:17,503
It's like that apartment
we lived in
316
00:16:17,539 --> 00:16:19,038
before I started
doing weddings.
317
00:16:19,074 --> 00:16:21,474
But you, my son,
remain...
318
00:16:24,512 --> 00:16:26,813
Eh?!
319
00:16:26,848 --> 00:16:28,481
Go back to Earth.
320
00:16:28,516 --> 00:16:31,284
Do something with your life.
Help people.
321
00:16:31,319 --> 00:16:32,952
Help people. Help people.
322
00:16:32,988 --> 00:16:34,620
Help people.
323
00:16:34,656 --> 00:16:36,456
Nothing. I'm not
getting a pulse.
324
00:16:37,492 --> 00:16:39,292
I got to change my life!
325
00:16:39,327 --> 00:16:40,827
Still no pulse.
326
00:16:40,862 --> 00:16:42,762
I guess I'm just
really bad at this.
327
00:16:45,210 --> 00:16:49,921
♪ Someone to watch ♪
328
00:16:49,922 --> 00:16:55,092
♪ Over me. ♪
329
00:16:55,128 --> 00:16:57,094
I'm afraid
Lisa's getting obsessed
330
00:16:57,130 --> 00:16:58,963
with keeping her father
out of danger.
331
00:16:58,998 --> 00:17:02,299
She's gotten our Resusci Annie
doll to breathe on its own.
332
00:17:02,335 --> 00:17:04,802
Why?
333
00:17:04,837 --> 00:17:07,238
In this new shelter,
we provide a home
334
00:17:07,273 --> 00:17:10,975
for animals put out of work
by Cirque Du Soleil.
335
00:17:12,678 --> 00:17:14,145
Um, Krusty,
336
00:17:14,180 --> 00:17:16,413
have you fulfilled the promise
you made to your father
337
00:17:16,449 --> 00:17:18,916
in the dream you never
told anyone about?
338
00:17:18,951 --> 00:17:20,251
Uh, no.
339
00:17:20,286 --> 00:17:22,987
Somehow a brief act
of uncharacteristic generosity
340
00:17:23,022 --> 00:17:24,655
solved nothing.
341
00:17:24,690 --> 00:17:25,990
Hey, Krusty.
What?
342
00:17:26,025 --> 00:17:27,658
Have you been
going to temple?
343
00:17:27,693 --> 00:17:31,262
Yeah, and I've learned that all
religions are equally boring.
344
00:17:31,297 --> 00:17:33,164
But there's a reason I went.
345
00:17:33,199 --> 00:17:34,298
Come and see.
346
00:17:34,333 --> 00:17:36,500
Kid, there's no way
you can cheer me up.
347
00:17:36,536 --> 00:17:39,503
Not when whiskey, good
deeds and hookers failed.
348
00:17:39,539 --> 00:17:41,005
Who's a hooker?
349
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:45,009
Uh, with me, it's easier to say
which ones aren't hookers.
350
00:17:47,246 --> 00:17:48,345
Hmm?
351
00:17:50,049 --> 00:17:51,515
Lisa, what are you doing?
352
00:17:51,551 --> 00:17:52,917
Wrapping you in bubble wrap.
353
00:17:52,952 --> 00:17:55,953
I can't always be around
to protect you, so it will.
354
00:17:55,988 --> 00:17:57,721
But...
355
00:17:58,858 --> 00:17:59,990
Oh, Lisa, honey,
356
00:18:00,026 --> 00:18:02,493
you can't insulate yourself
from life.
357
00:18:02,528 --> 00:18:05,996
Why, I could live till 100
or a bus could hit me tomorrow.
358
00:18:06,032 --> 00:18:10,167
That's why I never plan
more than four seconds ahead.
359
00:18:10,203 --> 00:18:12,369
Oh, I guess
you're right.
360
00:18:12,405 --> 00:18:15,472
Now come on.
Give Daddy a hug.
361
00:18:17,443 --> 00:18:19,476
Bubble wrap!
362
00:18:21,013 --> 00:18:23,814
Your daughterly love
saved me, sweetie.
363
00:18:23,849 --> 00:18:26,984
That's all I wanted,
a tiny bit of control.
364
00:18:27,019 --> 00:18:30,054
Ooh. I suppose we should
exchange insurance information.
365
00:18:30,089 --> 00:18:31,355
I don't have any.
366
00:18:31,390 --> 00:18:32,189
Me neither.
367
00:18:32,225 --> 00:18:33,524
Then we have the same company.
368
00:18:33,559 --> 00:18:35,559
They'll work it all out.
369
00:18:40,967 --> 00:18:42,433
Rabbi Rudenstein.
370
00:18:42,468 --> 00:18:43,867
Your father's favorite.
371
00:18:43,903 --> 00:18:45,803
Today's reading
is from Deuteronomy,
372
00:18:45,838 --> 00:18:47,938
which I believe
is the study of deuters.
373
00:18:49,308 --> 00:18:50,874
Hey, that's my joke.
374
00:18:50,910 --> 00:18:52,610
Eh, must be
a coincidence.
375
00:18:52,645 --> 00:18:54,111
Uh, but before we begin,
376
00:18:54,146 --> 00:18:56,380
I'd like to quote
the burning bush, which said,
377
00:18:56,415 --> 00:18:57,581
"Hey, put me out.
378
00:18:57,617 --> 00:18:59,416
How many talking bushes
do you think there are?"
379
00:18:59,452 --> 00:19:00,751
Hey-hey.
380
00:19:02,121 --> 00:19:03,153
Me again.
381
00:19:03,189 --> 00:19:05,923
So if Dad loved
his jokes, then...
382
00:19:05,958 --> 00:19:07,858
Dad loved my jokes.
383
00:19:07,893 --> 00:19:09,260
Oh...
384
00:19:09,295 --> 00:19:11,795
Yeah, I guess he just
hated your delivery.
385
00:19:11,831 --> 00:19:14,865
He loved my jokes.
386
00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:18,269
My father respected me
but could never tell me.
387
00:19:18,304 --> 00:19:20,838
That's Jewish Heaven.
388
00:19:22,842 --> 00:19:24,608
♪ Heaven ♪
389
00:19:24,644 --> 00:19:27,611
♪ Jewish Heaven ♪
390
00:19:27,647 --> 00:19:32,049
♪ We're a father
and a son who didn't speak ♪
391
00:19:32,084 --> 00:19:36,387
♪ But up here we found
the happiness we seek ♪
392
00:19:36,422 --> 00:19:40,391
♪ And I can't wait
till you join me next week ♪
393
00:19:40,426 --> 00:19:41,892
You!
394
00:19:48,801 --> 00:19:50,167
Uh, just this once,
395
00:19:50,202 --> 00:19:52,569
you think you could turn
water into a Bloody Mary?
396
00:19:53,806 --> 00:19:56,240
I'll tell you, you're
all right, you know?
397
00:20:03,616 --> 00:20:05,849
Krusty, let's face it, you might
not be cutting-edge anymore,
398
00:20:05,885 --> 00:20:08,886
but your show still does
really great in that key demo
399
00:20:08,921 --> 00:20:11,255
of people who died
with the TV on.
400
00:20:11,290 --> 00:20:12,423
Whoa.
401
00:20:12,458 --> 00:20:13,490
Of course, Krusty's responsible
402
00:20:13,526 --> 00:20:15,025
for Itchy & Scratchy,
403
00:20:15,061 --> 00:20:16,413
which is also
what he calls his testicles.
404
00:20:17,863 --> 00:20:19,583
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
405
00:20:54,131 --> 00:20:56,098
D'oh.
406
00:20:56,392 --> 00:20:58,133
Shh!