1
00:00:02,878 --> 00:00:06,172
The Simpsons

2
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:30,947
lt's too nice a day
to be outside doing chores.

3
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,949
Come in and watch TV.

4
00:00:34,118 --> 00:00:35,702
Mom finally stopped caring!

5
00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:37,286
Don't go inside!
It's a trap!

6
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:40,331
Yes, she must have some
kind of super-chore in there.

7
00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:42,291
Like getting the rat
out of Maggie's room.

8
00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,796
I'm not fooling
around, people.

9
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,881
Park your keisters
in front of that TV!

10
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:50,007
Now!

11
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,309
This counts as a bath!

12
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,859
The irrepressible
100-year-old skydiver

13
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:10,236
will be buried as soon
as his body is found.

14
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:14,574
Now, it's time for
the Channel 6 Oops Patrol!

15
00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,701
This week,
one eagle-eyed viewer

16
00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:18,786
spotted this
hilarious headline.

17
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,665
Mayor unveils
erection to cheering crowd.

18
00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:25,793
This week's Oops
Patrol T-shirt goes to...

19
00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,253
Whom? Whom?

20
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,380
Mrs. Marge Simpson
of Springfield!

21
00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:31,466
Ta-dah!

22
00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:34,343
Mom made the Oops Patrol!
Hot damn!

23
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,220
Bart, you're not at school,
don't swear.

24
00:01:37,473 --> 00:01:40,641
What an amusing
T-shirt, Marge.

25
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,935
I'll trade you for a tote
bag that says "Prozac."

26
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:46,272
No, thanks. I'm wearing
my cure for depression.

27
00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:48,149
Come on!
Give me that shirt!

28
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,777
I'll put you at the top of
the heart transplant list.

29
00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:53,112
My heart is fine.

30
00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:54,822
It could always
be a little better.

31
00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:57,617
Honey, this is your
moment in the sun.

32
00:01:57,701 --> 00:02:00,703
And I couldn't be more
pleased for your happiness.

33
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:04,540
Why was I born?

34
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:12,131
Oh, T-shirt, bless the
loom that fruited you.

35
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:14,008
Homer!

36
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:19,889
Win your own T-shirt!

37
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,311
Gotta win a T-shirt.
Gotta win a T-shirt.

38
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:30,107
Okay, get ready to laugh.

39
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:33,152
"Cranford man missing."

40
00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:37,698
What's he missing? His
pants? A train? Gimme a break!

41
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:41,285
Too soon, huh? All right.

42
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:46,040
"Drought threatens to turn
west into dessert"!

43
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:50,586
Yum, yum. I think I'd like some
whipped cream on my Wyoming.

44
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:54,257
Dad, the word's "desert."
And those farmers are suffering.

45
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:57,301
From what?
Too much hot fudge?

46
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,223
Come on, Bart.
Show me some love.

47
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,183
Don't drag me down
with you, old man.

48
00:03:18,991 --> 00:03:22,368
This is what happens when I
go for six hours without sleep.

49
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:30,126
No.

50
00:03:33,297 --> 00:03:34,922
I'll put that in the "maybes."

51
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,092
I gotta get that T-shirt.

52
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,053
"World's biggest pizza"?

53
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,976
Oh, my God!

54
00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:50,730
Marge, wake up! The
newspaper's talking to me!

55
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:55,192
Oh, relax. I'm sure it's
just your brain going crazy.

56
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:57,653
I wish! Look at
this headline!

57
00:03:58,030 --> 00:04:00,740
Someone or
something knows I love

58
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:03,492
oversized food and
short punchy articles.

59
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:07,830
So they hid a message in
the first letter of each line. See?

60
00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:11,542
"Homer, meet me 4th street
overpass midnite."

61
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:15,838
Wait a minute. This is today's
paper! That meeting is tonight!

62
00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:18,758
Don't tell me
you're actually going.

63
00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:20,069
Marge, I don't know
what this is.

64
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,428
But sometimes you've
just gotta go with your gut.

65
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,597
You always go
with your gut.

66
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,682
This time, why don't you
listen to your brain?

67
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,351
All right, I will.

68
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:34,190
That's why I don't
listen to my brain.

69
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,192
And away we go!

70
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:41,781
Psst. Hey, pal.
Hey, buddy. Wake up.

71
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:44,909
You want to go on an
adventure with your old man?

72
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:47,203
No.

73
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,454
You have no choice.

74
00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:51,374
There's coffee
in the thermos.

75
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,382
This is boring.
Can't we go home?

76
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,008
This overpass
smells like urine.

77
00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:02,259
They all do.

78
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:03,427
Fresh urine!

79
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,000
Hey! The bathroom's
a block away!

80
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,139
Homer Simpson?

81
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,481
Still my little crybaby.

82
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,401
I'll save you, Dad! Karate!

83
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:25,992
Grandma!

84
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,076
Oh, Bart.

85
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:28,554
Are you still
a little hell-raiser?

86
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:29,662
Yes'm.

87
00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,372
Mom, you're back!

88
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:34,834
Just like you were back
before. Then you left me again.

89
00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:39,088
I love you so much! But it's
so hard for me to trust you.

90
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,508
What the heck.
Give me a hug, you.

91
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:44,427
Homer, you're hugging a bum.

92
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,345
I know. I'm working
my way up to you.

93
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,265
Hey, gimme back my wine!

94
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,314
Sorry about all
the cloak and dagger, Homer,

95
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,983
but the government
is still after me

96
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,484
for what I did in the '60s.

97
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:04,363
They're probably tapping your
phones and reading your mail.

98
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:08,784
I think the government has better
things to do than to read my mail.

99
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:12,329
Most people write
letters to movie stars.

100
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,165
This Simpson guy
writes to movies!

101
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,126
"Dear Die Hard, you rock!

102
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,795
"Especially when that
guy was on the roof.

103
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,965
"P.S. Do you know Mad Max?"

104
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,802
To reach you, I called up
my friends in the liberal media

105
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,680
and planted that story
about the giant pizza.

106
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,682
You sure know me, Mom.

107
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,769
Pizza was the first food
he choked on.

108
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,730
So why are you back in town?

109
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,483
I saw this macaroni pencil
holder Homer made me,

110
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,778
and I realized how
much I missed him.

111
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,322
I made this when I was five.

112
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:49,658
I had to do something. Your
pencils were all over the place.

113
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,285
Hey, it was the '60s.

114
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:57,333
Is that fugitive radical
Mona Simpson?

115
00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,127
Yeah. And that's Tokyo Rose
mopping the floor.

116
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:04,673
Hey, Joe! Your girlfriend
sleeps with Tyrone Power!

117
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:07,593
Chief, I think
we've got a match here.

118
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:08,780
All right.
Let's check it out.

119
00:07:08,804 --> 00:07:11,430
But if you're wrong, you and
Lou have to kiss each other.

120
00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:14,475
Hey, Chief, I checked with the
union. You can only do that once.

121
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,939
Cora, is there
a back way outta here?

122
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:22,399
Not for someone who tips 9%.

123
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,193
Fine!

124
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,569
Right through there,
Santa Claus.

125
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:34,120
Mom, I swear on
your eventual grave,

126
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:37,540
I will never ever let the
police get their hands on you!

127
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,505
You guys are damn lucky.

128
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:47,633
All you destroyed were
bricks, mortar and attorneys.

129
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:51,387
Remember me
as a drain on society.

130
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:05,568
Captured '60s radical, Mona
J. Simpson, goes on trial today

131
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,987
on decades-old charges
of sabotaging

132
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,322
the C. Montgomery Burns
Germ Warfare Lab.

133
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:13,576
For those of you too
young to remember the '60s,

134
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,244
here's our stock montage.

135
00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:35,264
You bet your sweet bippy.

136
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,433
What a shrill,
pointless decade.

137
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:40,769
During her years on the I am,
Simpson led an exemplary life

138
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:45,149
working as a crossing guard,
oral historian, reader for the blind,

139
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,110
listener for the deaf
and reacher for the short.

140
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:51,906
Yet local villain, Montgomery
Burns, seen here terrorizing children

141
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,199
in a 19th century woodcut,

142
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:55,618
insists that she stand trial.

143
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,913
Kent, I want everyone in your
radio picture audience to know

144
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:01,040
that this woman is a menace
to decent people

145
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:03,125
and germ warriors everywhere!

146
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:06,962
End communication.

147
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,882
Now, Lisa,
would you agree that your

148
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:12,009
grandmother is a sweet,
harmless woman

149
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:15,471
who could hardly be
considered a menace to society?

150
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:19,850
Definitely. Lf you ask me, she's
far less dangerous than Bart.

151
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:22,561
If it please the court, I would
like to go ape on my sister.

152
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,480
I object.
Judge, sidebar?

153
00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:25,773
Very well.

154
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,399
Judge, do you
have a little sister?

155
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:28,567
Yes.

156
00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:31,904
She used to call me
"Fatty Boomalatty."

157
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,322
I'll allow an lndian burn.

158
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:34,698
Thank you, Your Honor.

159
00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:39,745
Your Honor, can you please
focus on the case at hand?

160
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,997
I'm sorry.
My wife left me this morning.

161
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,875
Now, I'm not a man
who's good with words.

162
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,763
You gotta say something.
She's looking at 20 years!

163
00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:00,766
And my legal license
expires in 15 minutes.

164
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,977
I barely know my mother.

165
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:06,063
And every time I see her,
she's taken away again.

166
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:10,859
And when a man doesn't have
his mother, he winds up like me.

167
00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:15,739
I mean, I'm due back in this
same courtroom three times today.

168
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:20,035
Hell, I torched a blood bank!
One cookie, my ass!

169
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,539
Please, please give me
back my mommy!

170
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:31,213
Your Honor, there is no way
we can find this defendant guilty!

171
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:35,426
Although I will miss
the jury room cold cuts.

172
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:38,429
And the Quality lnn more
than lived up to its name...

173
00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:39,555
Case dismissed!

174
00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:43,475
...business center,
workout room,

175
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,936
an honor bar I was
honored to use...

176
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:47,021
That's enough.

177
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:49,481
And Peggy in the coffee shop,
what a pistol.

178
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,317
A mere nod
in her direction,

179
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,402
and the refill
was in the mug!

180
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:59,658
The jets in the whirlpool
anticipated my every move

181
00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:03,829
when it was working.
And $3 for a local call?

182
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,873
They should be
the ones on trial!

183
00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:15,591
Oh, Mom, I'm so happy!
I never want to let you go!

184
00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:19,178
Mom, I never
want to let you go!

185
00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:20,804
I'm not your mother.

186
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:24,058
Look, lady. Just keep
hugging till we get to Mexico.

187
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,185
Mother.

188
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,936
Go hug your floozy.

189
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,855
Mother, she's right here.

190
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:33,108
She knows I'm kidding.
I'm not kidding.

191
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,528
Curse that groovy granny!

192
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,989
This is America! Justice
should favor the rich!

193
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:42,117
Sir, maybe you could use a
few huffs from your ether bottle.

194
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:46,997
Oh, man, that's good E.

195
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:52,044
Well, now that I'm free, I intend
to be a better mother to my son.

196
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:55,214
Woo-hoo!
I can be a little boy again!

197
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:57,716
A boy who gets
some on the side.

198
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:02,221
Baby! Now you're free
to come back to me.

199
00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:04,473
Dad, you testified
against her.

200
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:07,601
I read a book that
said women like jerks.

201
00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:11,688
But the mother
and child reunion.

202
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:15,067
Is only a motion away.

203
00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:20,197
Oh, little darling of mine.

204
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:23,992
I can't for the life of me.

205
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:27,996
Remember a sadder day.

206
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:31,166
Look, Mom!
Look! I'm riding by myself!

207
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,015
Homer, this really
isn't necessary.

208
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,060
You weren't around for
the birth of your grandson.

209
00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:50,352
And I want you to see it.

210
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:54,773
Ain't I cute?
You owe me a dirt bike.

211
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,569
Hey, guys. I brought my mom.

212
00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:02,156
Lenny Leonard? I haven't seen
you since you were this high.

213
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,782
I can jump off the high dive!

214
00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:05,409
Carl Carlson.

215
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:09,121
I remember when you,
Lenny and Stevie McGregor

216
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,206
were like
"The Three Musketeers."

217
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:14,543
Yeah. Poor Stevie.
They never found his head.

218
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,628
Mrs. Simpson,
when you took off,

219
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,547
you left a hole
in Homer's heart

220
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,842
that he's been trying to fill
with alcohol for 20 years.

221
00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:23,427
God bless ya.

222
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,264
Welcome to your room, Mom.

223
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,558
I want you to
stay here forever.

224
00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:31,685
Homer, it's perfect.

225
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,646
Doesn't this armoire
belong to Mr. Flanders?

226
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:41,028
You stole this entire room
from Ned Flanders' house!

227
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,530
Oh, well,
you snooze, you lose.

228
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:46,074
But could I have
my photo albums back?

229
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,785
Now get out of my house!

230
00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:53,040
And so in the spirit of fence-mending
and grudge-not-bearing,

231
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:56,710
I hereby rename
the Burns Germ Warfare Lab,

232
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:59,546
the Grandma Simpson
Peace Museum

233
00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:02,341
and Kid-teractive
Learnatorium.

234
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:08,180
Grandma Simpson,
will you be the first

235
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,265
to sign
the museum's guest book?

236
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:11,975
It'd be a real pleasure.

237
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:14,895
You know,
when I was on the run,

238
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,980
I always had to
sign a fake name,

239
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:19,525
like when I
visited a state park.

240
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:22,486
Indeed, how about
a national park?

241
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,696
Why yes.

242
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,740
I've got it all
on this dictabelt.

243
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:27,908
Move in, boys!

244
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:33,080
What's going on?

245
00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:36,708
Supplying false information
on a national park register

246
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:38,752
is a federal offense,

247
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:42,297
which you've committed at every
national park from Acadia to Zion.

248
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:45,342
You're going away for a
long time, Mrs. Simpson.

249
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:48,845
Or should I call
you "Anita Bonghitt"?

250
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,809
No! I can't lose
my mother again!

251
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,062
Don't take her away!

252
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,738
Stop messing with him.
The man lost his mother.

253
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,074
Just one more time.

254
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,659
Okay, it is pretty funny.

255
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:25,882
Mother, you had me.

256
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:30,512
But I never had you.

257
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:39,313
I wanted you.

258
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:45,444
But you didn't want me.

259
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,197
Dad, I'm just
as sad as you are.

260
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,325
What happened to Grandma
is an outrage.

261
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,285
How do you figure?
She was acquitted!

262
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:56,455
Then they put her back
in jail on a technicality!

263
00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,415
You're right.
People should only

264
00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,292
be let out of jail
on technicalities.

265
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:03,629
Well, they're transferring Grandma
to a federal prison tomorrow.

266
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:07,090
I say we hit 'em where they
live with a candlelight vigil.

267
00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:10,469
Candlepin bowling?
That's a great idea.

268
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:13,680
We'll play right after I break
your grandmother out of prison.

269
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:20,270
I fought the law
and the law won.

270
00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:21,688
Now just the innocent!

271
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:25,484
I fought the law
and the law won.

272
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:27,527
Now just the really innocent!

273
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:37,329
I hope this bus ride
never ends,

274
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:40,290
'cause I'm getting
executed when I get off.

275
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,250
Okay, boy.

276
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:43,877
Flip through
those highway warnings

277
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,587
till we find one
that'll stop that bus.

278
00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:48,465
Next.

279
00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:49,883
Pass.

280
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:51,802
Boring.

281
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:55,263
Ha-ha, loser!

282
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:57,516
Geez, pal.

283
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:01,520
Will you look at that?

284
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,573
Homer, what on earth
are you doing?

285
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:15,867
Mom, I love you.
I can't let you go to prison.

286
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,536
Who's the wheelman, granny?

287
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:19,121
It's my son, Homer.

288
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:21,373
Oh, isn't he darling?

289
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,667
He's a big one.

290
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,919
Oh, stop it.

291
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,881
Take care, ladies.
I'm sure you can

292
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,633
make it back to
the prison on your own.

293
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,468
We will.

294
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:35,595
You're all right,
Donut Breath.

295
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,431
You're like
the son I never killed.

296
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:42,728
Mom, I'm gonna hide you where
there's no one around for miles.

297
00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:45,313
Disney's California
Adventure.

298
00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:52,779
Homer, get out now and no one
will ever know you're involved.

299
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:55,490
No! You're my mother,
and I won't leave you!

300
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,284
If you stay here,
you'll be abandoning

301
00:17:57,368 --> 00:17:58,952
your family
the way I abandoned you.

302
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,288
Yeah.

303
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:05,459
That did mess me up pretty
bad. But I'm not gonna leave you!

304
00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:09,087
I see you've made your
choice. I love you, Homer.

305
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:13,675
That's lucky.

306
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:19,097
Brambles! Briars!
Nettles! Thorns!

307
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:25,187
Granny to the Man.
Granny to the Man.

308
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,897
This is "the Man."

309
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:31,443
"I think it'd be a gas if you
turned that magic bus around

310
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:34,946
"and kept on
truckin' to our pig pad."

311
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,866
I don't know what you're
saying. But I am not turning back.

312
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,910
Then listen to me, lady.
The only way

313
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:41,745
you're getting off
this mountain is in a box

314
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,121
or a funicular.

315
00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:44,623
What about
a hot air balloon?

316
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:46,041
Pipe down, Jules Verne.

317
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,336
Go, Mom! You can do it!

318
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,631
No!

319
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,263
There's still air
in that bus.

320
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:02,557
So for the next five minutes,
this is a rescue mission.

321
00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:06,061
Make that a salvage mission.

322
00:19:09,023 --> 00:19:11,733
Okay, everyone take
some free time,

323
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,235
and we'll see you
tomorrow at 10:00.

324
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:25,413
Grandma, you'll always be
an inspiration to me.

325
00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:29,376
You taught me a criminal can
evade the law well into old age.

326
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:33,547
Thanks for the meatloaf
recipe, I claim it as my own.

327
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:37,300
Mona, I'll always remember
raspberry trolley cars.

328
00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:38,927
Because my mind is shot.

329
00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:43,098
Your last act as a mom
was to make me a better dad.

330
00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:46,685
But at least now,
I'll never lose you again.

331
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,273
Look out!

332
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,287
Homer,
it's 2:00 in the morning.

333
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:06,872
I couldn't sleep
because I thought

334
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:09,416
there might be a sign of my
mom in one of these articles.

335
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:10,876
They never did find her body.

336
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,294
Then what was in the coffin?

337
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,588
Last week's garbage.
I missed the pickup date.

338
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:17,799
But it doesn't matter,
because my mom is alive! See?

339
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,720
I am o... Kay.

340
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:25,181
Get it? "I am okay."

341
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,101
Okay, Homie.

342
00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:31,813
If it makes you feel better, I
think your mom's all right, too.

343
00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:35,775
Hey, as long as we're thinking
about her, Grandma's still alive.

344
00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:38,320
Come on, big guy. This'll
help you get to sleep.

345
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:49,497
Homer, your mother
loves you.

346
00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:51,249
I escaped from
the bus the moment

347
00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:52,918
before it plunged
off the cliff.

348
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,670
I then hitched a ride
from a nice young couple.

349
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:57,589
We had lunch at
a lovely diner.

350
00:20:57,673 --> 00:21:00,383
They had clam chowder,
Rhode Island-style.

351
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,636
I never knew there
was such a thing.

352
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,763
And the crackers
kept on coming.

353
00:21:57,191 --> 00:21:58,191
English - US - PSDH