1 00:00:02,911 --> 00:00:04,670 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:05,898 --> 00:00:08,081 (humming a tune) 3 00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:10,250 -(indistinct chatter) -Huh? 4 00:00:10,402 --> 00:00:11,902 So dope. 5 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,737 Slammin' kicks. 6 00:00:13,830 --> 00:00:15,663 Is that kid wearing Slipremes? 7 00:00:15,758 --> 00:00:18,100 He totally is. 8 00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:22,095 These are my first tie-shoes. 9 00:00:22,248 --> 00:00:24,189 You're wearing the new Slipreme Caliphates? 10 00:00:24,341 --> 00:00:27,342 How did a chum-wad like you get a pair? 11 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,419 My daddy took my cat to the cat doctor, 12 00:00:29,438 --> 00:00:30,937 and when Daddy came home, 13 00:00:31,090 --> 00:00:33,032 my cat had turned into these shoes. 14 00:00:33,183 --> 00:00:35,592 So Ralph got weird sneakers-- who cares? 15 00:00:35,685 --> 00:00:37,778 Uh, no one... 16 00:00:37,930 --> 00:00:39,763 except everyone. 17 00:00:39,782 --> 00:00:41,615 Those aren't just sneakers. 18 00:00:41,767 --> 00:00:43,100 They're Slipremes. 19 00:00:43,227 --> 00:00:45,693 That's Orion Hughes' skatewear company. 20 00:00:45,788 --> 00:00:48,272 He's huge on TikTok. 21 00:00:48,365 --> 00:00:50,382 Got to say, today was crazy. 22 00:00:50,609 --> 00:00:52,109 You all know my dad, 23 00:00:52,127 --> 00:00:54,536 international superstar Darius Hughes. 24 00:00:54,613 --> 00:00:56,780 Well, I just laid down the hook for his new movie, 25 00:00:56,799 --> 00:00:59,466 Duplicate Cop 2: Copy Cop. 26 00:00:59,635 --> 00:01:02,043 (laughs) ♪ One cop that you just can't stop ♪ 27 00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:05,289 ♪ 'Cause he's two cops-- one cop and a copy of a cop ♪ 28 00:01:05,307 --> 00:01:08,141 ♪ Two badges, one mind. ♪ 29 00:01:08,294 --> 00:01:10,310 And my skatewear brand, Slipreme, 30 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,145 is about to drop a new shoe, 31 00:01:12,298 --> 00:01:14,406 the sequel to the Caliphate One. 32 00:01:14,633 --> 00:01:16,075 The Caliphate Two. 33 00:01:16,226 --> 00:01:18,969 Limited release-- available only this Friday. 34 00:01:18,987 --> 00:01:20,412 (laughs) And Saturday, 35 00:01:20,564 --> 00:01:23,064 we explode the pop-up factory that makes them. 36 00:01:23,158 --> 00:01:26,585 ALL (chanting): Go! Go! Go, Orion! Go! Go! 37 00:01:26,736 --> 00:01:28,403 Go! Go! Go, popcorn! 38 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,756 -Go! Go! Go, popcorn! -(gasps) 39 00:01:30,907 --> 00:01:32,907 BOTH: No! No! No kernels! 40 00:01:33,076 --> 00:01:35,819 No! No! No kernels! 41 00:01:35,838 --> 00:01:37,321 Hey, that's my favorite show. 42 00:01:37,339 --> 00:01:39,414 You guys have to buy me these sneakers. 43 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,325 They're all anyone cares about at school. 44 00:01:41,343 --> 00:01:43,268 And if I don't have them, I'm nobody. 45 00:01:43,420 --> 00:01:45,345 Well, you're somebody in this house. 46 00:01:45,497 --> 00:01:47,664 Come on, don't lie to the boy. 47 00:01:47,683 --> 00:01:49,424 I've never wanted a piece of clothing before 48 00:01:49,518 --> 00:01:51,092 in my entire life. 49 00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:52,594 Dad, with this one act, 50 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:55,781 you can erase ten years of second-rate parenting. 51 00:01:55,932 --> 00:01:57,341 I'd think about that, Homie. 52 00:01:57,359 --> 00:01:58,967 It's a pretty good offer. 53 00:01:58,969 --> 00:02:00,193 Mm? 54 00:02:00,346 --> 00:02:03,271 You must really want those pants 55 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:04,939 or videogame. 56 00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:08,127 Son, your father will deliver. 57 00:02:11,523 --> 00:02:13,948 Of course Orion Hughes' new store would be 58 00:02:14,042 --> 00:02:16,860 in Springfield's former packing peanuts district. 59 00:02:17,029 --> 00:02:18,879 This street is so cool. 60 00:02:19,031 --> 00:02:21,214 art galleries, beard-only barbershops, 61 00:02:21,367 --> 00:02:23,216 and a weird store that only sells 62 00:02:23,369 --> 00:02:25,477 a single action figure. 63 00:02:25,629 --> 00:02:27,271 How do they survive? 64 00:02:28,374 --> 00:02:30,707 Hmm? 65 00:02:30,726 --> 00:02:32,876 Oh, look at this line. 66 00:02:32,969 --> 00:02:34,653 Can't even see those guys. 67 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,898 I'm gonna be stuck here all day with the nose ring brigade. 68 00:02:38,050 --> 00:02:41,943 In that case, I'm gonna check out this Hasidic surfwear shop. 69 00:02:43,405 --> 00:02:45,906 Okay, Homer, you can do this-- you waited in line overnight 70 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,024 for Krusty's new fried chicken sandwich. 71 00:02:48,076 --> 00:02:51,170 And it was the best decision of your life. 72 00:02:51,397 --> 00:02:54,173 I will get Bart those shoes. 73 00:02:56,493 --> 00:02:57,992 Whoa! 74 00:02:58,086 --> 00:03:00,086 (gasps) Whoa! 75 00:03:00,239 --> 00:03:02,830 Dad, you got 'em. 76 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:05,258 I waited through rain, through sun, 77 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,168 through the death of my phone battery 78 00:03:07,262 --> 00:03:09,837 from watching super-cuts of boating accident videos, 79 00:03:09,932 --> 00:03:13,358 all to see the joy on your face. 80 00:03:13,585 --> 00:03:16,678 I love you, Dad. I finally love you. 81 00:03:16,772 --> 00:03:18,088 And bought love 82 00:03:18,181 --> 00:03:21,182 is the best kind of love. 83 00:03:21,351 --> 00:03:22,534 -JIMBO: Wow! -NELSON: I'm so pumped! 84 00:03:22,761 --> 00:03:23,702 DOLPH: I'm also pumped! 85 00:03:23,929 --> 00:03:25,946 Here come the sneakers! 86 00:03:26,098 --> 00:03:27,948 KID: Shh, shh. 87 00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:30,934 ALL: Whoa! (hushed clamoring) 88 00:03:31,103 --> 00:03:32,527 (both screaming) 89 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:35,714 Whoa, I got to see those babies in action. 90 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,941 ♪ ♪ 91 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,135 (grunts) Hmm? 92 00:03:42,114 --> 00:03:44,056 (grunts) 93 00:03:44,132 --> 00:03:46,116 (all gasp) 94 00:03:46,134 --> 00:03:48,042 These shoes are made from... 95 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:51,897 used Band-Aids and North Korean newspapers? 96 00:03:51,974 --> 00:03:53,881 My dad waited in line all day for these shoes, 97 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,292 and they're crap. 98 00:03:55,310 --> 00:03:58,144 I'm gonna go to that store and get his money back. 99 00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:00,313 (gasps) "Dear Leader Announces 100 00:04:00,466 --> 00:04:02,632 Wheat Quotas Exceeded Yet Again." 101 00:04:02,726 --> 00:04:04,660 (all cheering) 102 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,413 (snoring) 103 00:04:08,565 --> 00:04:09,806 (phone chimes) 104 00:04:09,825 --> 00:04:11,566 Ooh, a text. 105 00:04:11,643 --> 00:04:13,543 (imitates powering down) 106 00:04:14,646 --> 00:04:16,129 (Bart reading) 107 00:04:17,499 --> 00:04:18,665 Returning the shoes? 108 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,575 But then he'll find out... 109 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,169 what really happened. 110 00:04:23,322 --> 00:04:25,913 So hot, no shade. 111 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,266 Maybe this guy will let me sit 112 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:30,385 under his flat-brimmed baseball hat? 113 00:04:30,496 --> 00:04:32,420 Mm... Mm. 114 00:04:32,514 --> 00:04:33,755 Homer J. Simpsons. 115 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:37,167 The line-standing legend himself. 116 00:04:37,185 --> 00:04:39,278 Hey! Mike Wegman! 117 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,671 How's it clangin'? Where's your food truck? 118 00:04:41,765 --> 00:04:43,949 Somebody pushed it off a bridge, but don't worry, 119 00:04:44,176 --> 00:04:46,860 I had a good reason, and now I got an even better business. 120 00:04:47,012 --> 00:04:48,936 Selling those limited-edition sneakers. 121 00:04:49,105 --> 00:04:50,514 You want a pair? 122 00:04:50,607 --> 00:04:52,124 Oh, my God, my kid's begging for these. 123 00:04:52,275 --> 00:04:53,625 How much do I owe you? 124 00:04:53,852 --> 00:04:55,519 You owe me? 125 00:04:55,537 --> 00:04:58,038 How much do the pilgrims owe the Statue of Liberty? 126 00:04:58,190 --> 00:05:00,281 How much does hot dog owe a mustard? 127 00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:02,801 For you, these are on the house. 128 00:05:03,028 --> 00:05:04,636 Oh, thank you so much. 129 00:05:04,788 --> 00:05:07,789 Don't worry about it, these aren't real Slipremes anyway. 130 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,290 What? They're fake? 131 00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:12,126 Oh, but I promised my son the real ones. 132 00:05:12,204 --> 00:05:14,387 Who, Bart, huh? That bed-wetting nobody? 133 00:05:14,540 --> 00:05:16,815 He won't be able to tell the difference. 134 00:05:16,966 --> 00:05:19,042 Kids today aren't like you and me. 135 00:05:19,061 --> 00:05:21,636 They're dumb because of phones or whatever. 136 00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:25,657 Hmm, and I do like getting away with things. 137 00:05:25,734 --> 00:05:27,233 That's winner talk there. 138 00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:30,053 Hey, which of you freak shows wants to do business? 139 00:05:30,072 --> 00:05:32,289 I like your dumb hat. 140 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,459 (humming a tune) 141 00:05:36,486 --> 00:05:37,652 (grunts) 142 00:05:37,746 --> 00:05:39,412 Mm? Mmm! 143 00:05:39,565 --> 00:05:42,082 I got to stop Bart from returning those fake sneakers. 144 00:05:42,234 --> 00:05:43,917 "No no no no no!" 145 00:05:44,069 --> 00:05:46,511 -(phone chimes) -Thanks, Dad, it is on. 146 00:05:46,663 --> 00:05:48,213 Bart Simpson here, about to clown some fools 147 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,590 who sold me some crappy sneakers. 148 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,518 These shoes are trash. I want my money back. 149 00:05:53,670 --> 00:05:56,388 Uh, real Caliphate Twos aren't made from garbage. 150 00:05:56,540 --> 00:05:59,749 They're vegan leather made from upcycled recycling bins. 151 00:05:59,768 --> 00:06:01,509 BART: Wait, what? 152 00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,086 These are fakes. 153 00:06:03,179 --> 00:06:05,922 You're trying to return bootleg sneakers. 154 00:06:05,941 --> 00:06:08,592 You can't record me-- I'm recording you. 155 00:06:08,610 --> 00:06:10,184 What up, Shauna Nation? 156 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:12,262 As always, I'm Shauna. 157 00:06:12,355 --> 00:06:15,115 (scoffs) Look at this idiot, trying to return a knock-off. 158 00:06:15,267 --> 00:06:18,602 Link in my bio to win free edible eyeshadow. 159 00:06:18,695 --> 00:06:19,936 They're not fake. 160 00:06:19,955 --> 00:06:22,381 (laughing) 161 00:06:22,532 --> 00:06:25,609 My Dad waited in line for these shoes and spent a lot of money. 162 00:06:25,777 --> 00:06:28,035 And Homer Simpson would never lie to his son 163 00:06:28,113 --> 00:06:30,722 just to get out of standing in li... (gasps) 164 00:06:30,874 --> 00:06:33,116 Oh, my God, he bought me fake shoes. 165 00:06:33,118 --> 00:06:34,801 Bart, don't return the shoes! 166 00:06:34,953 --> 00:06:35,802 This is just a dream. 167 00:06:35,954 --> 00:06:37,787 -Wake up, Bart. Wake up. -(grunts) 168 00:06:37,806 --> 00:06:39,380 How could you? 169 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,715 I will never be more embarrassed 170 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,068 than I am right now. 171 00:06:43,962 --> 00:06:44,978 (all gasp) 172 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,647 We have underpants. 173 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,391 You've ruined me! 174 00:06:50,485 --> 00:06:52,035 ALL: Please like and subscribe. 175 00:06:56,566 --> 00:06:59,084 Stupid Homer. Turned me into a GIF. 176 00:06:59,978 --> 00:07:02,087 Oh, man. 177 00:07:03,331 --> 00:07:05,982 You're even a dance. It's called 178 00:07:06,075 --> 00:07:07,759 the "Pants Kid Shimmy." 179 00:07:07,911 --> 00:07:09,928 It's everywhere! 180 00:07:10,079 --> 00:07:12,005 ♪ Pants Kid Shimmy ♪ 181 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,658 ♪ Pants Kid Shimmy ♪ 182 00:07:14,676 --> 00:07:16,935 ♪ Pants Kid Shimmy ♪ 183 00:07:17,086 --> 00:07:18,753 ♪ Shimmy, shimmy. ♪ 184 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,014 So fun! (laughs) 185 00:07:21,166 --> 00:07:23,257 Son, I got you this apology card. 186 00:07:23,351 --> 00:07:25,669 The duck, you know, on the front, he thinks 187 00:07:25,762 --> 00:07:28,930 what I did was "quackers," and maybe he's right. 188 00:07:29,098 --> 00:07:30,840 Don't ever talk to me again! 189 00:07:30,934 --> 00:07:32,525 What was I thinking, trusting you to help me look cool? 190 00:07:32,678 --> 00:07:34,936 You're the least cool person who ever lived. 191 00:07:35,030 --> 00:07:36,863 (gasps) But that includes Urkel. 192 00:07:37,015 --> 00:07:39,015 You're bald. You own a bowling ball. 193 00:07:39,108 --> 00:07:41,017 You own truck nuts but no truck. 194 00:07:41,110 --> 00:07:43,611 You've seen Tim Allen's standup multiple times. 195 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,130 You still have a CD tower. 196 00:07:45,357 --> 00:07:46,614 And each one your three kids 197 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,133 is embarrassed by you in a different way. 198 00:07:48,284 --> 00:07:49,968 -(Homer whimpers) -Mm. 199 00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:51,953 You were born uncool 200 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,880 and every day for four decades, 201 00:07:54,032 --> 00:07:56,141 you've gotten less cool. 202 00:07:58,053 --> 00:08:00,386 I know I'm not exactly Stefan Urquelle, 203 00:08:00,539 --> 00:08:03,482 but didn't you ever think your old man was a little cool? 204 00:08:03,633 --> 00:08:06,067 Never. Not one bit. 205 00:08:07,004 --> 00:08:08,636 (whimpers, sniffles) 206 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,304 (doorbell rings) 207 00:08:11,307 --> 00:08:13,641 I'm sorry to bother you. I'm looking for Bart Simpson. 208 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:14,901 Orion Hughes! 209 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:17,554 I found your critically-maligned book of poetry 210 00:08:17,647 --> 00:08:19,831 to be weirdly moving. 211 00:08:19,983 --> 00:08:23,076 Yeah, I thought poetry would be hard, but it wasn't. 212 00:08:23,152 --> 00:08:25,228 I know you. You're the voice 213 00:08:25,321 --> 00:08:27,005 of the urban squid from the live-action 214 00:08:27,232 --> 00:08:28,823 Finding Nemo. 215 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:29,824 (gasps) 216 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,843 Bart, I wanted to apologize 217 00:08:31,995 --> 00:08:33,828 for the way my employees shamed you. 218 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,162 You heard about that? 219 00:08:35,331 --> 00:08:37,682 -(humming a tune) -Ooh, I saw that dance 220 00:08:37,834 --> 00:08:40,185 on Ellen today. 221 00:08:40,412 --> 00:08:41,353 (moans) 222 00:08:41,504 --> 00:08:43,079 You didn't know the shoes were fake. 223 00:08:43,248 --> 00:08:44,856 To make up for your global humiliation, 224 00:08:45,008 --> 00:08:47,359 I brought your family some free Slipreme skatewear. 225 00:08:51,606 --> 00:08:54,115 Whoa, new skateboards! 226 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,284 (grunts) 227 00:08:57,429 --> 00:08:59,612 Grab a board, show me what you got. 228 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,540 Uh, I'd love to, of course. 229 00:09:01,691 --> 00:09:04,450 But the thing is, I have a deal with Slim Jim. 230 00:09:04,603 --> 00:09:08,195 I can't skate unless I'm holding a Dr. Pepper Salami Twister. 231 00:09:08,290 --> 00:09:09,956 Come on, just ollie off the curb. 232 00:09:10,108 --> 00:09:12,033 Ollie? Oh, yeah, that's the move 233 00:09:12,127 --> 00:09:13,885 where you throw it, right? 234 00:09:14,112 --> 00:09:15,779 -(grunting): Ollie! -(gasps) 235 00:09:15,872 --> 00:09:19,799 You own a skatewear company and you don't know how to skate? 236 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,951 (whimpers) 237 00:09:21,970 --> 00:09:23,395 Please don't tell anyone. 238 00:09:23,622 --> 00:09:25,230 Hey, dude, no worries. 239 00:09:25,381 --> 00:09:27,307 You know what? I can teach you to skate. 240 00:09:27,459 --> 00:09:29,401 But what if I'm not instantly amazing at it? 241 00:09:29,552 --> 00:09:31,403 I've heard that can happen. 242 00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:34,647 Okay, feet on the board, bend your knees, 243 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,074 find your center... 244 00:09:36,301 --> 00:09:38,318 -(grunts) See? You're doing it! -(exclaiming) 245 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:40,245 I'm doing it. I-I'm authentic. 246 00:09:40,396 --> 00:09:42,563 No one's ever been this real. 247 00:09:42,657 --> 00:09:44,641 Don't fall down! 248 00:09:44,659 --> 00:09:46,251 What's "falling down"? 249 00:09:46,328 --> 00:09:47,627 (grunts) 250 00:09:51,166 --> 00:09:52,924 That's-that's my blood. 251 00:09:53,001 --> 00:09:54,742 I've never seen it before. 252 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,761 So cool. Let's go again. 253 00:09:56,913 --> 00:09:58,171 (both exclaim) 254 00:09:59,174 --> 00:10:02,083 Can you pass the guacamole, #GuacAttack? 255 00:10:02,251 --> 00:10:03,935 #NewChipsOnTheGuac? 256 00:10:04,087 --> 00:10:06,329 You're hashtagging a lot lately. 257 00:10:06,348 --> 00:10:08,848 So Bart called you uncool, big deal. 258 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,925 Chasing after coolness is futile, 259 00:10:11,094 --> 00:10:12,760 because the definition is both arbitrary 260 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,671 and constantly changing. 261 00:10:14,764 --> 00:10:16,740 Mm, still want to be it. 262 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,268 With hard shell tacos, you've got to bite them 263 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,529 from the bottom, like this. 264 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,439 (grunts) 265 00:10:25,533 --> 00:10:26,941 Why?! 266 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,777 Why do I keep buying hard shells? 267 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,855 I hate them! 268 00:10:31,873 --> 00:10:33,857 Uh, I'm going to Moe's. 269 00:10:33,875 --> 00:10:36,134 At least put on a clean shirt. 270 00:10:37,028 --> 00:10:38,637 Hmm. Mm. 271 00:10:38,864 --> 00:10:40,221 Mm. Hmm. 272 00:10:44,293 --> 00:10:45,201 Homer. 273 00:10:45,220 --> 00:10:46,870 Check it out-- I'm selling 274 00:10:46,888 --> 00:10:48,629 premium Wagyu-style steaks. 275 00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,482 The 72-month subscription plan-- 276 00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:53,042 it comes with a genuine landline phone. 277 00:10:53,061 --> 00:10:55,712 I'm too depressed to figure out what you're saying. 278 00:10:55,805 --> 00:10:57,714 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 279 00:10:57,807 --> 00:10:59,716 That's a Slipreme hoodie. 280 00:10:59,809 --> 00:11:03,078 And that ain't even a knock-off like these donkey steaks. 281 00:11:03,905 --> 00:11:05,238 I got to post this. 282 00:11:05,390 --> 00:11:08,149 Whoa, someone posted a picture of me, 283 00:11:08,243 --> 00:11:10,727 and it it's not for falling down an escalator 284 00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:12,653 or yelling at a parking meter. 285 00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:14,172 Which means I must be... 286 00:11:14,399 --> 00:11:17,158 Cool. Yes, you are now cool. 287 00:11:17,326 --> 00:11:19,252 HOMER: I've been liked. 288 00:11:19,404 --> 00:11:21,237 Someone enjoyed looking at me. 289 00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:24,182 Finally, I know how it feels to be stylish. 290 00:11:24,409 --> 00:11:26,075 To be loved for my appearance 291 00:11:26,244 --> 00:11:28,169 instead of judged for my actions. 292 00:11:28,263 --> 00:11:30,671 (gasps) This is why people 293 00:11:30,765 --> 00:11:32,524 own more than one outfit. 294 00:11:32,675 --> 00:11:35,360 Thank you, Mike Wegman! 295 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,814 ORION: 540 flip straight onto your ear. 296 00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,182 Oh. 297 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,349 Legendary! 298 00:11:42,444 --> 00:11:44,351 (slurring): Am I still slurring my's words? 299 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,538 Uh, it's-it's barely noticeable. 300 00:11:46,689 --> 00:11:49,023 Having a movie star dad, I don't really get 301 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,542 to hang out with regular kids. 302 00:11:50,693 --> 00:11:52,435 With you I can relax, you know, without having 303 00:11:52,528 --> 00:11:54,771 to redefine our generation's notion of relaxation. 304 00:11:54,864 --> 00:11:56,363 I guess I envy you. 305 00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,958 Isn't that something rich people say to poor people 306 00:11:59,110 --> 00:12:01,611 so that they feel less guilty about being rich? 307 00:12:01,629 --> 00:12:04,647 Yes, but for the first time, I mean it. 308 00:12:04,649 --> 00:12:06,966 You helped me bleed. Maybe I can help you. 309 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,394 What if we design a new sneaker together? 310 00:12:09,545 --> 00:12:11,396 A sneaker that all my friends will buy? 311 00:12:11,623 --> 00:12:14,307 No, a sneaker that all your friends will want to buy, 312 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:17,460 but can't, because we won't make enough of them. 313 00:12:17,553 --> 00:12:19,629 (gasps) That's even better. 314 00:12:19,647 --> 00:12:21,406 Huh? 315 00:12:22,650 --> 00:12:24,225 What the hell are you wearing? 316 00:12:24,319 --> 00:12:27,078 I know what it is-- a hobo was murdered at a rave, 317 00:12:27,230 --> 00:12:30,156 and Homer's going undercover to find the killer. 318 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,492 Nah, nah, nah, he drove a motorcycle 319 00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:35,754 through the clothesline of a bi-curious farmer. 320 00:12:35,905 --> 00:12:38,239 (laughs) I was once like you. 321 00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:40,908 Wearing clothes I bought at the gas station 322 00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,594 or found at the beach. 323 00:12:42,745 --> 00:12:45,597 But I've learned something-- when you wear crazy clothes 324 00:12:45,748 --> 00:12:48,749 you don't understand, you're not you anymore. 325 00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,918 You're someone better. 326 00:12:51,012 --> 00:12:52,771 Oh, my God. 327 00:12:52,998 --> 00:12:55,064 I'm beautiful. 328 00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:03,856 Hey. 329 00:13:04,009 --> 00:13:06,692 Well, look at me-- I'm a real Hep Cat. 330 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:10,622 And not just because I got Hep C, A and T. 331 00:13:10,773 --> 00:13:12,606 Which, I-I do got those. 332 00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:16,352 We must tell all middle-aged men that they need not grow old. 333 00:13:16,371 --> 00:13:19,113 Where do the graying masses gather to worship? 334 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,448 ♪ I'm so sophisticated ♪ 335 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,135 ♪ To get a verse from me, you gotta be initiated ♪ 336 00:13:24,362 --> 00:13:27,547 ♪ To get a purse from me, she gotta be sophisticated ♪ 337 00:13:27,699 --> 00:13:30,550 ♪ Purchase a whip from me and never miss a single payment ♪ 338 00:13:30,702 --> 00:13:33,478 ♪ You wanna be the hottest but that can get complicated. ♪ 339 00:13:33,629 --> 00:13:35,462 Bart, together we'll design a sneaker 340 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:38,391 that'll change sneaker culture forever. 341 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,318 Which, in this business, is one week. 342 00:13:40,395 --> 00:13:43,112 ♪ ♪ 343 00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:06,752 The Bartman One. 344 00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:09,422 My life has mattered. 345 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:12,408 Yeah, and it comes with a sticker in the box. 346 00:14:12,501 --> 00:14:14,501 The release party is Saturday night. 347 00:14:14,596 --> 00:14:16,354 It's gonna be perfect. 348 00:14:16,505 --> 00:14:18,505 The right music, the right influencers, 349 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,525 and every single person there will be young, 350 00:14:20,676 --> 00:14:22,509 cool and beautiful. 351 00:14:22,604 --> 00:14:25,271 Excuse me, do you have this in a large? 352 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,181 You're buying that for yourself? 353 00:14:27,275 --> 00:14:29,516 But old people don't know about my clothes. 354 00:14:29,685 --> 00:14:31,277 Unless... 355 00:14:31,429 --> 00:14:32,945 Oh, no. 356 00:14:33,098 --> 00:14:34,097 They're here. 357 00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:35,948 The middle-aged. 358 00:14:36,101 --> 00:14:37,691 The uncool! 359 00:14:37,785 --> 00:14:40,044 (both screaming) 360 00:14:45,777 --> 00:14:47,051 This is a nightmare. 361 00:14:47,278 --> 00:14:49,870 My brand's been discovered by dads. 362 00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:52,448 I'm wearing this to da club. 363 00:14:52,467 --> 00:14:54,117 Da bridge club. 364 00:14:54,210 --> 00:14:55,952 It's like Ed Hardy all over again. 365 00:14:55,970 --> 00:14:58,121 Who the heck is Ed Hardy? 366 00:14:58,139 --> 00:15:01,215 ORION: Ed Hardy was a California tattoo artist 367 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,309 whose unique designs were the epitome of cool. 368 00:15:03,461 --> 00:15:04,903 But then, one terrible day, 369 00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:07,630 a newly-divorced dad wanted to seem younger 370 00:15:07,723 --> 00:15:08,907 on his dating profile. 371 00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:10,742 He bought a sleeveless tee in XXL 372 00:15:10,851 --> 00:15:12,410 and then posted the picture. 373 00:15:12,561 --> 00:15:14,579 Young people saw old people wearing the brand, 374 00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:16,989 and weeks later, a $700 million empire 375 00:15:17,142 --> 00:15:18,625 was sold for scrap. 376 00:15:19,994 --> 00:15:21,902 Stupid old losers. 377 00:15:21,996 --> 00:15:24,330 Slipreme's gonna die. What do I do?! 378 00:15:24,482 --> 00:15:26,407 I don't know, but we can think of something. 379 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:29,335 We're two of the coolest kids in the world, right? 380 00:15:29,487 --> 00:15:31,821 So cool. You've even got your own sneaker. 381 00:15:31,914 --> 00:15:33,172 That's cool, isn't it? 382 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,099 I don't even know anymore. 383 00:15:35,251 --> 00:15:37,268 Hey, Bart, thank your old man 384 00:15:37,495 --> 00:15:40,271 for introducing me to the look of the street. 385 00:15:40,348 --> 00:15:43,975 Wait, Homer's the reason you're all wearing these clothes? 386 00:15:44,127 --> 00:15:45,759 You know it. 387 00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:47,870 If my dad started this, 388 00:15:47,872 --> 00:15:49,505 maybe he can stop it. 389 00:15:49,524 --> 00:15:52,024 Yes, can I pay for this paisley tracksuit 390 00:15:52,177 --> 00:15:54,243 -with airline miles? -(grunts) 391 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,623 Ooh. Ee. Ooh. 392 00:15:58,774 --> 00:16:00,941 Drop the selfie stick now. 393 00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:02,710 What about my Lookbook? 394 00:16:04,038 --> 00:16:05,612 Stop dressing your zombie friends up 395 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,023 in the clothes of the living. 396 00:16:07,116 --> 00:16:09,467 Never! Before I discovered streetwear, 397 00:16:09,618 --> 00:16:11,970 people-- like my son-- 398 00:16:12,121 --> 00:16:14,547 treated me like a dried-up old husk. 399 00:16:14,699 --> 00:16:17,141 Well, you know what I am now? A wet husk. 400 00:16:17,293 --> 00:16:20,144 Full of juicy corn. Mmm, corn, Bart. 401 00:16:20,371 --> 00:16:23,648 You hear me? Mmm, corn. 402 00:16:23,799 --> 00:16:25,984 Orion and I made something amazing together, 403 00:16:26,060 --> 00:16:27,819 and you're ruining it. 404 00:16:27,970 --> 00:16:29,821 (laughs) Too bad. 405 00:16:29,972 --> 00:16:33,282 'Cause we're all going to your sneaker release party. 406 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,219 Just because they RSVP'd, 407 00:16:36,387 --> 00:16:38,479 doesn't mean they're actually coming. 408 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,573 Wrong. My generation 409 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,742 shows up to things. 410 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:44,210 (gasps) 411 00:16:47,081 --> 00:16:50,341 This is horrible. My Dad told all his loser friends 412 00:16:50,568 --> 00:16:52,010 about this party. 413 00:16:52,161 --> 00:16:54,920 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 414 00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,922 Aah! It's my dad. 415 00:16:57,075 --> 00:16:58,758 Act like everything's fine. 416 00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,834 Son, I've never seen your aura 417 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,928 looking less indigo. Are you okay? 418 00:17:03,081 --> 00:17:05,023 Nothing-nothing's wrong. I'm crushing it. 419 00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:08,008 I got this on lock. On lock. 420 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,028 Your words have convinced me. 421 00:17:10,179 --> 00:17:12,088 The washed-up dads are gonna be here soon. 422 00:17:12,181 --> 00:17:14,273 I read about it in The Old-Timers Gazette: 423 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,925 Facebook. 424 00:17:15,927 --> 00:17:17,184 I can't handle this. 425 00:17:17,278 --> 00:17:19,779 And my therapist is pitching his sitcom today. 426 00:17:19,855 --> 00:17:22,290 Which I'm producing. (whimpering) 427 00:17:23,526 --> 00:17:26,044 You said if I ever needed you, you'd come. 428 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,938 No matter what. This is that call. 429 00:17:29,031 --> 00:17:32,699 Okie-dokie. Want me to grab you some mini carrots and hummus? 430 00:17:32,794 --> 00:17:34,427 Yes. 431 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:38,631 Listen up, people. 432 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:41,041 For the first time in your horrible lives, 433 00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:43,895 you are not the lamest losers in the world. 434 00:17:44,046 --> 00:17:45,971 (cheering, clamoring) 435 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,382 So if any young person asks you what you do, 436 00:17:48,476 --> 00:17:52,236 say, "Virtual marketing for a CBD massage oil startup." 437 00:17:52,463 --> 00:17:55,573 Now everyone take two precautionary Advil 438 00:17:55,724 --> 00:17:57,658 and let's live forever! 439 00:17:58,970 --> 00:18:00,227 Homer, stop it! 440 00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:03,306 Dads, halt. Let my shorty speak. 441 00:18:03,324 --> 00:18:05,975 Homer, this isn't who you are. 442 00:18:06,068 --> 00:18:08,978 You're right-- it's better than who I am. 443 00:18:08,996 --> 00:18:11,738 This is the man I married. 444 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,983 You call all deli meats baloney. 445 00:18:14,001 --> 00:18:15,909 You carry clippers on your key chain 446 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,745 so you can cut your nails in line at the post office. 447 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,582 You spent your stimulus check on funny bumper stickers 448 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,102 about what you spent your stimulus check on. 449 00:18:24,253 --> 00:18:26,178 And since the day I first saw you 450 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,272 moonwalk out of an Arby's, 451 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,942 you've been comfortable in your own skin. 452 00:18:31,093 --> 00:18:33,194 Until now. 453 00:18:34,672 --> 00:18:36,948 (gasps) I look... 454 00:18:37,099 --> 00:18:39,008 ridiculous! 455 00:18:39,026 --> 00:18:41,619 I shouldn't be at a sneaker release party. 456 00:18:41,770 --> 00:18:42,936 I should be at home. 457 00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:46,440 Making microwave popcorn. 458 00:18:46,534 --> 00:18:49,109 My favorite show. 459 00:18:49,203 --> 00:18:51,445 We don't belong here. 460 00:18:51,539 --> 00:18:53,038 Men our age 461 00:18:53,191 --> 00:18:55,550 belong in here. 462 00:18:56,878 --> 00:18:59,362 The Museum of Aviation History. 463 00:18:59,380 --> 00:19:01,305 (excited chatter, laughing) 464 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,049 LENNY: Oh. 465 00:19:04,126 --> 00:19:06,644 The cross section of a real B-52. 466 00:19:06,795 --> 00:19:10,631 An IMAX movie about the golden age of ballooning. 467 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:14,377 Audio tour by Gary Sinise. 468 00:19:14,395 --> 00:19:17,304 It worked. They took the dad-bait. 469 00:19:17,398 --> 00:19:18,881 (grunting) 470 00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:20,158 Dad. 471 00:19:20,385 --> 00:19:23,719 You did something no old person is remotely capable of. 472 00:19:23,721 --> 00:19:25,738 You changed your mind. 473 00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,907 I'm sorry I almost ruined everything 474 00:19:28,059 --> 00:19:29,834 for you and your friend. 475 00:19:30,061 --> 00:19:32,077 I have no business wearing skatewear. 476 00:19:32,230 --> 00:19:34,397 I don't even like to ice skate. 477 00:19:34,415 --> 00:19:36,323 (grunts) Oh. 478 00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:39,010 I never got a pair of my own shoes, and now they're sold out. 479 00:19:39,161 --> 00:19:42,588 Yo, style freaks. I got counterfeit Bart Ones. 480 00:19:42,740 --> 00:19:44,331 Genuine knockoffs. 481 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,409 Your dumb friends can't tell the difference 482 00:19:46,427 --> 00:19:48,644 unless you wear 'em or you look at 'em close. 483 00:19:50,932 --> 00:19:52,398 (grunts) 484 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,937 Thanks, Dad. Sometimes you are a little bit cool. 485 00:19:58,089 --> 00:20:00,740 Aw. Buy you a chicken sandwich? 486 00:20:20,202 --> 00:20:22,202 Dad, tonight was a close call. 487 00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:23,612 This party was almost not a cultural gamechanger. 488 00:20:23,631 --> 00:20:25,948 I hope you're not disappointed in me. 489 00:20:25,967 --> 00:20:27,725 Oh, you can never let me down, 490 00:20:27,952 --> 00:20:29,952 because I know exactly how you feel. 491 00:20:29,971 --> 00:20:31,637 Because you're me. 492 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,439 No, Dad. I'm not you. 493 00:20:33,624 --> 00:20:35,048 And I'll never be you. 494 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,384 (chuckles) You're not hearing what I'm saying. 495 00:20:37,478 --> 00:20:38,736 You're me. 496 00:20:38,813 --> 00:20:41,197 A clone of me. Like this 497 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,409 You were created on the set of Duplicate Cop One, 498 00:20:45,561 --> 00:20:48,329 which we filmed in a real cloning lab. 499 00:20:51,325 --> 00:20:52,658 I knew I could never love a child 500 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:56,312 as much as I love myself, so I made another me: 501 00:20:56,330 --> 00:20:57,313 you. 502 00:20:57,331 --> 00:21:00,165 But how... But I... But... What? 503 00:21:00,242 --> 00:21:02,501 Didn't you ever wonder why you don't have a mother? 504 00:21:02,670 --> 00:21:05,579 -Kind of. -Orion, our cosmic connection 505 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,080 is infinitely deeper 506 00:21:07,174 --> 00:21:09,008 than what a "father" feels for a "son." 507 00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:11,102 I love you, me. 508 00:21:11,253 --> 00:21:13,920 I love you, too... me. 509 00:21:13,998 --> 00:21:15,164 Mm. 510 00:21:15,257 --> 00:21:18,776 ♪ Two badges, one mind. ♪ 511 00:21:18,927 --> 00:21:22,004 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 512 00:21:22,023 --> 00:21:25,007 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 513 00:21:25,026 --> 00:21:27,952 And FORD. We go further, so you can. 514 00:21:28,103 --> 00:21:29,845 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 515 00:21:29,864 --> 00:21:32,206 Shh.