1 00:00:01,894 --> 00:00:03,493 (magical theme playing) 2 00:00:03,912 --> 00:00:05,896 Ho, ho, ho! 3 00:00:06,565 --> 00:00:08,716 -♪ ♪ -(children laughing, chattering) 4 00:00:19,428 --> 00:00:22,095 Good sir, perchance you would like to try on 5 00:00:22,248 --> 00:00:24,581 the "categorize cap" to see which school 6 00:00:24,674 --> 00:00:26,250 of magic most suits thee? 7 00:00:26,268 --> 00:00:28,027 Not today, weirdo. 8 00:00:28,103 --> 00:00:29,862 (alarm blares) 9 00:00:30,013 --> 00:00:32,814 Congratulations, you're a Grizzledum! 10 00:00:32,867 --> 00:00:36,035 Yes! Finally! A hat that respects me! 11 00:00:36,262 --> 00:00:37,928 Don't be too cocky. 12 00:00:37,930 --> 00:00:40,781 That means you're a sworn enemy of Pufflesnuff. 13 00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:42,966 I hate those guys. 14 00:00:43,026 --> 00:00:45,193 Well, well, well, if it ain't 15 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,454 one of those Grizzledum gits. 16 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:51,441 Someone had a little too much bubble and squeak for breakfast. 17 00:00:51,460 --> 00:00:54,278 Don't worry, Dad. Those are just park employees. 18 00:00:54,371 --> 00:00:56,538 Cool! Then they can't hit me back. 19 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:57,631 Oi! 20 00:00:57,783 --> 00:00:59,874 We're seasonal workers. 21 00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:02,728 We can do as we bloody well please. 22 00:01:02,879 --> 00:01:06,023 Yeah, well, just wait'll my fellow Grizzledums help me. 23 00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:09,217 I'm known for my stomach aches. 24 00:01:09,311 --> 00:01:12,479 My character was cut from the movies. 25 00:01:12,631 --> 00:01:14,389 -Aah! -Get him! 26 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,316 [sighs] This is a good time to call Grampa 27 00:01:16,468 --> 00:01:18,410 and see how Maggie's doing. 28 00:01:18,562 --> 00:01:20,079 PUFFLESNUFF: Carve a lightning bolt in his head! 29 00:01:20,230 --> 00:01:22,414 Hello, Mabel. Can I have my dad? 30 00:01:22,566 --> 00:01:23,640 Sure thing, Marge. 31 00:01:23,659 --> 00:01:26,643 Patching you through to Throwback 7244. 32 00:01:26,662 --> 00:01:27,828 (phone rings) 33 00:01:27,980 --> 00:01:30,738 Hey, Marge, everything is A-okay, 34 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,240 which was a popular slogan 35 00:01:32,334 --> 00:01:35,577 during Martin Van Buren's election campaign because... 36 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,931 Ooh, thank God I'm on my anti-rambling meds. 37 00:01:39,082 --> 00:01:41,416 I remember the first day I went on them. 38 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,175 That's it. 39 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,769 Anyway, Maggie's having fun 40 00:01:43,996 --> 00:01:45,437 with her little friend. 41 00:01:45,589 --> 00:01:46,680 We're at the beach?! 42 00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:48,498 I better put on sunscreen. 43 00:01:48,517 --> 00:01:49,608 (humming) 44 00:01:49,759 --> 00:01:51,735 ♪ ♪ 45 00:02:00,604 --> 00:02:02,955 (exhales) I finally know what it's like 46 00:02:03,106 --> 00:02:04,514 to be a British beverage. 47 00:02:04,533 --> 00:02:08,127 Gently back and forth, back and forth. 48 00:02:08,278 --> 00:02:11,371 Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! 49 00:02:11,523 --> 00:02:13,874 Bart! Stop playing with the wheel. 50 00:02:14,042 --> 00:02:16,376 Only if Homer buys us something at the gift shop! 51 00:02:16,528 --> 00:02:20,197 Why do I keep thinking these places will be fun? 52 00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:23,049 You don't! It's a place you can be with us 53 00:02:23,202 --> 00:02:25,126 without having to talk to us. 54 00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:26,353 (Bart laughs evilly) 55 00:02:29,224 --> 00:02:32,634 Oh, finally, a place to spend money. 56 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,486 I'll take three of each wand 57 00:02:34,638 --> 00:02:37,381 plus holsters and the five-year magic care warranty. 58 00:02:37,399 --> 00:02:40,492 And I'll pick the one that costs a little extra 59 00:02:40,719 --> 00:02:43,328 because they also give a wand to a needy child. 60 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:44,746 (groans) 61 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,541 (grunting) 62 00:02:49,411 --> 00:02:50,410 Aw. 63 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,213 Listen to her, purring like a kitten. 64 00:02:54,733 --> 00:02:57,751 (gasps) Grampa, when was the last time you saw Maggie? 65 00:02:57,903 --> 00:02:59,736 I just changed her diaper 66 00:02:59,829 --> 00:03:01,571 before I put the cat out. 67 00:03:01,665 --> 00:03:03,098 Uh-oh. 68 00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:06,334 -Maggie! -Where are you, Mags? 69 00:03:06,428 --> 00:03:08,578 Ask Grampa, maybe he knows. 70 00:03:08,672 --> 00:03:09,763 (knocking) 71 00:03:09,915 --> 00:03:11,356 Simpsons, I don't know 72 00:03:11,508 --> 00:03:14,610 if Heaven's missing an angel, but I think you might be. 73 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,847 Oh, my sweet baby! 74 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,516 Flanders, I owe ya one. 75 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,702 Well, sir, could you give me back my Allen wrench? 76 00:03:23,853 --> 00:03:25,946 (scoffs) This guy names his tools. 77 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,875 Grampa, I'm afraid we'll never ask you to babysit again. 78 00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:32,118 Who says I want to? You never even pay me! 79 00:03:32,271 --> 00:03:34,880 Well, you can rest easy knowing if anything did happen, 80 00:03:35,031 --> 00:03:37,274 she has the only insurance you truly need. 81 00:03:37,292 --> 00:03:39,276 A simple Christian baptism. 82 00:03:39,294 --> 00:03:41,720 Actually, we haven't gotten around 83 00:03:41,947 --> 00:03:43,129 to baptizing her yet. 84 00:03:43,206 --> 00:03:44,948 You mean this child could've been 85 00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:46,541 cast into God's basement 86 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,802 of eternal burning, because you were "too busy"? 87 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:52,289 We could baptize her soon, if you want to be the godfather. 88 00:03:52,307 --> 00:03:54,474 Oh, no can-doodily. I'm already the godfather 89 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,718 to 1,100 children. Take one of these. 90 00:03:56,795 --> 00:03:59,071 -It'll buzz when I have an opening. -(buzzes) 91 00:03:59,222 --> 00:04:00,647 This is for a baptism? 92 00:04:00,799 --> 00:04:04,559 My wife is Shinto and I worship the Klingon faith of Ba-a-a-a. 93 00:04:04,636 --> 00:04:06,653 We thought this was for Tony Roma's. 94 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,321 Good night! 95 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:13,234 I can't stop thinking about Maggie not being baptized. 96 00:04:13,328 --> 00:04:15,495 What if... the unspeakable happens? 97 00:04:15,647 --> 00:04:17,422 Are you saying that just because we don't splash 98 00:04:17,649 --> 00:04:20,000 a little water on her she's gonna burn forever? 99 00:04:20,152 --> 00:04:22,002 Sleep well, knowing current religious thought 100 00:04:22,154 --> 00:04:24,078 is Maggie won't go to Hell. 101 00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:26,914 Although that's always up for debate. 102 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,226 -Mm. (snores) -(sighs) 103 00:04:33,682 --> 00:04:35,515 Hmm. 104 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,334 ♪ ♪ 105 00:04:37,427 --> 00:04:38,360 Ah! Ah. 106 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,542 Nice and unbaptized. 107 00:04:45,544 --> 00:04:48,678 She'll play in an unsanitary ball pit 108 00:04:48,772 --> 00:04:50,772 -for all eternity. -(gasps) 109 00:04:50,866 --> 00:04:52,541 (Devil laughing) 110 00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:55,276 And I'm here, too! 111 00:04:55,370 --> 00:04:58,112 And I've got Milhouse growing on my back. 112 00:04:58,206 --> 00:05:00,690 I'm the front and you're the back! 113 00:05:00,709 --> 00:05:02,359 -I'm the front! -(grunts) 114 00:05:02,377 --> 00:05:03,260 Ow! 115 00:05:04,363 --> 00:05:07,121 We have to get Maggie baptized now. 116 00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:09,533 Either Patty or Selma could be the godmother. 117 00:05:09,626 --> 00:05:11,868 Well, that would insult one of them. 118 00:05:11,961 --> 00:05:13,645 But I want to insult both of them. 119 00:05:13,797 --> 00:05:15,630 What we really need 120 00:05:15,724 --> 00:05:17,149 for the godfather 121 00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:18,966 is someone who goes to church weekly, 122 00:05:19,061 --> 00:05:21,061 not the Christmas and Easter crowd. 123 00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:23,137 Lousy part-time Protestants. 124 00:05:23,231 --> 00:05:25,215 I go every week and sleep through mass 125 00:05:25,233 --> 00:05:26,808 like a real Christian. 126 00:05:26,902 --> 00:05:29,069 Homie, this is important to me. 127 00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:31,312 I get it, but can't this wait? 128 00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:33,999 You go find her a godfather! 129 00:05:34,150 --> 00:05:36,626 The classiest person you know. 130 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:41,915 -BOTH: Hey! -Wait a minute! 131 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,583 I wasn't watching that! 132 00:05:43,735 --> 00:05:44,843 Guys, this is serious. 133 00:05:45,070 --> 00:05:47,087 I'm looking for a godfather for my little angel. 134 00:05:47,239 --> 00:05:49,756 Aw, what a cutie. Let me give her a sip of beer. 135 00:05:49,908 --> 00:05:51,833 Okay, you're out. 136 00:05:51,927 --> 00:05:53,259 If I'm out, Carl's out. 137 00:05:53,428 --> 00:05:56,170 I decide who tells me what to do. Moe? 138 00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:59,507 You're out, Carl. So, Homer, I hear you're lookin' for... 139 00:05:59,601 --> 00:06:00,917 You're out. Barney? 140 00:06:00,936 --> 00:06:03,028 -You're out. -Aw! 141 00:06:03,255 --> 00:06:05,105 Godfather? Well let's see. 142 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:07,157 I have done a great job with Ralphie. 143 00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:10,610 HOMER: Wiggum out. 144 00:06:10,762 --> 00:06:13,872 Don't worry, sweetie. You don't need a godfather right away. 145 00:06:14,099 --> 00:06:16,541 You're gonna live a long, long time. 146 00:06:18,862 --> 00:06:22,606 Here's another avoidable death you've gotten us into. 147 00:06:22,624 --> 00:06:25,175 (sobbing) 148 00:06:29,372 --> 00:06:30,780 Fat Tony! 149 00:06:30,799 --> 00:06:32,115 You saved us! 150 00:06:32,134 --> 00:06:35,227 Not I. It was the Blessed Mother. 151 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,304 You're religious, too. 152 00:06:38,473 --> 00:06:40,640 You'd be a great godfather, if it weren't for... 153 00:06:40,792 --> 00:06:42,550 If it weren't for what? 154 00:06:42,644 --> 00:06:44,719 Uh... you know... 155 00:06:44,796 --> 00:06:46,905 No, I do not know. 156 00:06:47,056 --> 00:06:47,906 (whimpers) 157 00:06:48,057 --> 00:06:50,575 What a cute little bambina. 158 00:06:50,727 --> 00:06:52,059 (Maggie giggling) 159 00:06:52,154 --> 00:06:53,470 I accept your offer. 160 00:06:53,563 --> 00:06:56,397 I will be godfather to your child. 161 00:06:56,491 --> 00:06:57,474 Yeah, but, but, but... 162 00:06:57,567 --> 00:07:00,827 You did offer it to me, didn't you? 163 00:07:00,979 --> 00:07:03,663 He said it. We got it all on tape. 164 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,258 (sobs) I truly appreciate this. 165 00:07:06,409 --> 00:07:08,427 I have nothing innocent and pure in my life, 166 00:07:08,654 --> 00:07:11,078 but now I have this sweet little angel. 167 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,914 Great, great. 168 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,325 This'll be just like The Godfather. 169 00:07:15,343 --> 00:07:17,494 -The what? -You know, the movie The Godfather. 170 00:07:17,587 --> 00:07:19,438 -Never heard of it. -It's about a guy like you, 171 00:07:19,665 --> 00:07:20,513 who does what you do. 172 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,682 Which is what? 173 00:07:22,834 --> 00:07:24,501 Um, legitimate business. 174 00:07:24,519 --> 00:07:27,353 He sounds like quite the fellow, this godfather. 175 00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,781 I've seen Shark Tale and Analyze This, 176 00:07:29,933 --> 00:07:31,858 but that sounds even better. 177 00:07:32,027 --> 00:07:33,843 Fat Tony can't be godfather. 178 00:07:33,862 --> 00:07:36,196 We'd be better off with Mr. Burns. 179 00:07:36,348 --> 00:07:38,773 I asked him. He's allergic to new baby smell. 180 00:07:38,976 --> 00:07:39,941 (knocking) 181 00:07:40,035 --> 00:07:43,536 Pardon me for dropping by unannounced, 182 00:07:43,689 --> 00:07:47,132 but I could not help but notice that my goddaughter-to-be has 183 00:07:47,359 --> 00:07:51,261 an outdated car seat facing in the wrong direction. 184 00:07:54,866 --> 00:07:56,308 (whimpers) 185 00:07:56,535 --> 00:07:58,885 So, I have taken the liberty of purchasing you 186 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,387 the most exclusive, top-of-the-line 187 00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:05,442 car seat: the Ferrari Protect-a-rossa. 188 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,546 Well, that's very nice, but... 189 00:08:09,564 --> 00:08:13,216 And you, the mama, will drive her more safely 190 00:08:13,235 --> 00:08:16,553 in this Luxus SUV I have leased in your name. 191 00:08:16,555 --> 00:08:18,163 It's got everything. 192 00:08:18,314 --> 00:08:20,056 Blindspot monitors... 193 00:08:20,149 --> 00:08:22,242 built-in humidor, a GPS 194 00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:24,485 that doesn't think it's better than you. 195 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:26,746 MALE VOICE: Sure, let's try it your way. 196 00:08:26,898 --> 00:08:28,965 -Oh... -FAT TONY: Hmm? 197 00:08:30,326 --> 00:08:33,753 Fat Tony, I'm sorry, but you can't be the godfather. 198 00:08:33,905 --> 00:08:35,405 Marge, think about this. 199 00:08:35,498 --> 00:08:37,907 Your baby will want to go to an elite preschool, 200 00:08:37,909 --> 00:08:39,592 a prestigious prep school, 201 00:08:39,745 --> 00:08:41,244 a college with the ivy. 202 00:08:41,337 --> 00:08:43,855 I could help you with all these things. 203 00:08:44,082 --> 00:08:45,582 You can really do that? 204 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:48,175 With the soccer coaches and admissions officers 205 00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:51,655 I have in my pocket like so many yogurt melties. 206 00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:58,578 We'll play along until we can get out of it. 207 00:09:00,023 --> 00:09:01,998 Godfather. 208 00:09:04,102 --> 00:09:06,586 Welcome to the family. 209 00:09:07,622 --> 00:09:10,006 Welcome to the family. 210 00:09:19,134 --> 00:09:20,300 MARGE: Okay, just get through this. 211 00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:22,485 Then you never see the godparents again. 212 00:09:22,545 --> 00:09:25,063 Always so nice to see you, Fat Tony. 213 00:09:25,214 --> 00:09:26,606 Is everything okay? 214 00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:30,569 Please, please, say it's okay. 215 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:32,145 Why you no answering? 216 00:09:32,297 --> 00:09:35,315 I'm a-gonna die! And I've never been-a to Italy! 217 00:09:35,467 --> 00:09:36,575 (sobbing) 218 00:09:36,726 --> 00:09:38,243 Everything's fine. 219 00:09:38,394 --> 00:09:41,246 Ah, I knew it. Have-a some parmesan. 220 00:09:41,397 --> 00:09:42,655 My hand! 221 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,158 It's-a having a heart attack! 222 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:48,753 Now, I take my duties as godfather seriously. 223 00:09:48,980 --> 00:09:50,946 I might almost be intrusive. 224 00:09:50,999 --> 00:09:52,148 Almost. 225 00:09:52,167 --> 00:09:53,425 First, I want to help 226 00:09:53,652 --> 00:09:56,169 with little Margaret's religious development. 227 00:09:56,321 --> 00:09:58,746 For my first communion, my sainted mother gave me 228 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:02,508 this book and ten dollars, which was a fortune to me. 229 00:10:02,661 --> 00:10:04,394 I never spent it. 230 00:10:05,831 --> 00:10:07,063 Mama! 231 00:10:09,684 --> 00:10:11,684 First, the queen of all saints, 232 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,670 Mary, the only woman in history 233 00:10:13,688 --> 00:10:17,115 who had the ugatz to be a mother and a virgin. 234 00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:19,676 Actually, the virgin birth is the doctrine 235 00:10:19,769 --> 00:10:21,361 of traditional Christianity. 236 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:22,846 Not Protestants. 237 00:10:22,864 --> 00:10:24,681 La beata madre è stata 238 00:10:24,699 --> 00:10:26,532 concepita senza peccato originale. 239 00:10:26,685 --> 00:10:29,944 Quindi è possibile che sia madre e vergine. 240 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,254 Oh. Got it. 241 00:10:32,207 --> 00:10:34,281 This is Saint Lucia, 242 00:10:34,450 --> 00:10:37,135 which may or may not be where my money is. 243 00:10:37,362 --> 00:10:39,879 And this is St. Zeno of Verona, 244 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,474 the saint of learning to speak. 245 00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:44,684 For you, Margaret. 246 00:10:46,295 --> 00:10:47,461 Hmm. 247 00:10:47,539 --> 00:10:50,565 Ah, you got to love a religion with merch. 248 00:10:52,727 --> 00:10:54,986 Maybe this could work out. 249 00:10:55,138 --> 00:10:58,548 You just enjoy riding in a safe car for once. 250 00:10:58,641 --> 00:11:01,142 Yes! Yes! Yes, I do! 251 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,219 For the family. 252 00:11:03,312 --> 00:11:05,330 Stop so we can do the door again. 253 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:09,167 Whoa, Mama! (laughs) 254 00:11:09,318 --> 00:11:11,086 D'oh! 255 00:11:12,321 --> 00:11:14,731 I can't believe the boss has us babysitting. 256 00:11:14,824 --> 00:11:17,384 I broke out of prison for this? 257 00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:22,329 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 258 00:11:22,424 --> 00:11:25,183 Careful, those babies got those super sharp fingernails! 259 00:11:27,929 --> 00:11:30,105 Here ya go, Baby Boss. 260 00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:38,029 Mangia. Mangia. 261 00:11:38,256 --> 00:11:39,513 Leave no evidence. 262 00:11:39,607 --> 00:11:41,348 Boss, Benny down at the liquor store 263 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,776 is late on his payment. Again. 264 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,686 Let me break his kneecaps. 265 00:11:45,855 --> 00:11:47,038 Marone a mi! 266 00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:49,449 You never ever talk that way in front of a baby. 267 00:11:49,601 --> 00:11:51,209 Uh, uh, okay, uh, 268 00:11:51,436 --> 00:11:53,878 what if we give him a boo-boo to the brain? 269 00:11:53,955 --> 00:11:56,697 Make him go night-night forever? 270 00:11:56,791 --> 00:11:57,915 Disgusting! 271 00:11:58,142 --> 00:12:00,276 You give the kiss of death with that mouth? 272 00:12:00,295 --> 00:12:02,870 Now, if you'll excuse me... 273 00:12:02,964 --> 00:12:05,039 I have to take sweet little Maggie 274 00:12:05,133 --> 00:12:07,208 to Guido and Me class. 275 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,118 (humming happily) 276 00:12:09,212 --> 00:12:11,304 I think the boss is gettin' soft. 277 00:12:11,456 --> 00:12:13,064 Next thing you know, he'll be startin' 278 00:12:13,216 --> 00:12:15,233 a legitimate legitimate business! 279 00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:17,402 Eh, I think you're imagining things. 280 00:12:17,629 --> 00:12:21,055 ♪ Twinkle, twinkle, little star ♪ 281 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,649 ♪ Let me hotwire you a car ♪ 282 00:12:23,802 --> 00:12:26,819 ♪ We'll change the plates, I know a guy ♪ 283 00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:29,822 ♪ You'll be my little alibi. ♪ 284 00:12:29,975 --> 00:12:32,658 (laughs) You stole my heart. 285 00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:34,644 You little criminal. 286 00:12:34,662 --> 00:12:36,588 (all groaning) 287 00:12:37,665 --> 00:12:39,090 (all gasping) 288 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,575 Ah, it's-a so sad. 289 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:44,003 Fat Tony has been a very good boss. 290 00:12:44,172 --> 00:12:48,174 I have too much respect for him not to kill him. 291 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,493 Eh, what do you think, Johnny Tightlips? 292 00:12:50,586 --> 00:12:53,162 I don't want to do nothin' to nobody. 293 00:12:53,181 --> 00:12:55,681 So... you want to do somethin' to somebody. 294 00:12:55,834 --> 00:12:57,333 Exactly. 295 00:12:57,426 --> 00:12:59,502 Does Maggie seem different to you? 296 00:12:59,521 --> 00:13:00,686 I'm worried. 297 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,672 Uh, Marge, let me put it this way. 298 00:13:02,841 --> 00:13:04,340 We can't be bad parents, 299 00:13:04,359 --> 00:13:07,268 because bad parents can't get their kid into... 300 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:10,013 the finest preschool in town! 301 00:13:10,031 --> 00:13:11,438 Maggie has been admitted 302 00:13:11,533 --> 00:13:13,941 to the Preschool for the Performing Arts? 303 00:13:14,019 --> 00:13:15,960 They have a three-year wait. 304 00:13:16,112 --> 00:13:18,521 Is she in the morning class or afternoon? 305 00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:19,780 Morning. 306 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,633 -Mm. -(knocking) 307 00:13:21,784 --> 00:13:24,285 I'm afraid we have an agreement 308 00:13:24,379 --> 00:13:26,212 and you have not held up your end. 309 00:13:26,364 --> 00:13:28,807 We are going for a ride. 310 00:13:29,034 --> 00:13:31,476 (whimpering) 311 00:13:34,873 --> 00:13:37,315 No! 312 00:13:38,726 --> 00:13:42,136 No goddaughter of mine will miss Sunday service. 313 00:13:42,213 --> 00:13:44,138 Oh, but I'm hungover. 314 00:13:44,215 --> 00:13:46,307 We were gonna go at 1:00 p.m. 315 00:13:46,401 --> 00:13:48,493 I'm afraid there ain't no 1:00 p.m. no more. 316 00:13:48,644 --> 00:13:50,811 Low attendance whacked it from the schedule. 317 00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,055 I knew it. 318 00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:53,239 You make a deal with the devil, 319 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,666 and look where you wind up. 320 00:13:54,817 --> 00:13:56,392 -(snoring) -Wake up. 321 00:13:56,411 --> 00:13:57,335 (blabbering) 322 00:13:57,562 --> 00:13:58,819 Oh, come on, man. 323 00:13:58,897 --> 00:14:00,396 Even the priest is asleep. 324 00:14:00,565 --> 00:14:01,840 (yawns) 325 00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:05,176 Please rise and open your hymnals. 326 00:14:06,329 --> 00:14:09,422 (whispers): He said open your book. 327 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,426 ♪ You were so right, I'm a moron, I'm so frightened ♪ 328 00:14:13,578 --> 00:14:17,564 ♪ Bail us out now, I am out of ideas. ♪ 329 00:14:20,101 --> 00:14:22,418 Look, if we're direct and say he can't be godfather, 330 00:14:22,437 --> 00:14:24,270 what's the worst that can happen? 331 00:14:24,422 --> 00:14:26,180 Did you see The Godfather? 332 00:14:26,274 --> 00:14:27,773 I saw the wedding part. 333 00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:29,534 Does anything happen after that? 334 00:14:29,685 --> 00:14:32,537 That Carlo seems like a wonderful husband. 335 00:14:32,764 --> 00:14:35,598 -What are you talking about? -Uh, Mister Fat? 336 00:14:35,617 --> 00:14:38,710 There's a non-whacking matter I need to discuss with you. 337 00:14:38,861 --> 00:14:40,620 I also have to tell you something. 338 00:14:40,772 --> 00:14:44,123 Your daughter is cute, smart, and sweet as a hung jury. 339 00:14:44,275 --> 00:14:46,551 So I will honor all of you next Sunday 340 00:14:46,778 --> 00:14:49,870 with tickets to Itchy and Scratchy's Christmas On Ice. 341 00:14:49,964 --> 00:14:54,041 Now, what did you want to tell me? 342 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,227 I, um, uh, stall, stall... 343 00:14:56,304 --> 00:14:58,287 play for time... (stammers) 344 00:14:58,306 --> 00:15:01,048 I wanted to tell you how great you look in that suit. 345 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,458 Why, thank you. 346 00:15:02,477 --> 00:15:04,051 Why do people have such difficulty 347 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,612 telling me how great I am? 348 00:15:10,059 --> 00:15:12,243 This is the first business I've had 349 00:15:12,395 --> 00:15:14,895 where in the back room is just more of the same. 350 00:15:14,989 --> 00:15:17,140 Thoughts? 351 00:15:17,158 --> 00:15:19,066 Hey, these diaper bags are great. 352 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,144 You could hide a brick of nose candy in here. 353 00:15:21,237 --> 00:15:23,737 No, you mezzo arguto paisan! 354 00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,239 This is all aboveboard. 355 00:15:25,333 --> 00:15:27,074 I want to be family friendly. 356 00:15:27,168 --> 00:15:29,743 You mean "the family" family? 357 00:15:29,837 --> 00:15:31,854 I mean every family! 358 00:15:31,914 --> 00:15:33,656 Except the Branzinos. 359 00:15:33,749 --> 00:15:35,158 Death to them. 360 00:15:35,176 --> 00:15:36,325 ALL THREE: Death to them. 361 00:15:36,419 --> 00:15:37,268 Hey, boss, maybe you can get 362 00:15:37,495 --> 00:15:39,679 your little Maggie one of these. 363 00:15:39,831 --> 00:15:42,565 You would body shame a baby?! 364 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,593 -(door closes) -I've seen enough. 365 00:15:46,762 --> 00:15:48,613 This Sunday we make our move. 366 00:15:48,764 --> 00:15:50,281 Can we make it Saturday? I got a thing. 367 00:15:50,508 --> 00:15:52,508 -Move your thing. -I already moved it 368 00:15:52,527 --> 00:15:54,285 for the thing that was cancelled for the you know what 369 00:15:54,512 --> 00:15:56,028 where we did that thing we did not do. 370 00:15:56,181 --> 00:15:58,272 That didn't happen two weeks ago. 371 00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,940 You don't know about that! 372 00:16:00,034 --> 00:16:02,868 You don't know what I don't know. 373 00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:05,521 Um, we certainly appreciate 374 00:16:05,540 --> 00:16:07,373 all you've done for us. 375 00:16:07,525 --> 00:16:10,677 Maggie has all the bling a toddler could want. 376 00:16:13,531 --> 00:16:14,455 Don't look at me. 377 00:16:14,549 --> 00:16:16,724 They fell off the back of a tricycle. 378 00:16:18,536 --> 00:16:20,127 (crying) 379 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,522 (gasps) What have we done? 380 00:16:25,134 --> 00:16:27,043 Uh, Maggie! What are ya doin'? 381 00:16:27,061 --> 00:16:28,987 I didn't mean it! Maggie! 382 00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:32,156 Fat Tony, get away from my kid! 383 00:16:34,385 --> 00:16:36,035 That's it. 384 00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:40,832 Fine. I see. 385 00:16:40,983 --> 00:16:44,060 Excuse me, there is an urgent matter 386 00:16:44,229 --> 00:16:46,045 I must attend to. 387 00:16:57,925 --> 00:16:59,242 (burps) 388 00:16:59,244 --> 00:17:02,002 Homer, can I tell you a little secret? 389 00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:04,580 -No, no, please don't! -It's a good secret. 390 00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:07,191 I'm finally getting out of this terrible business I'm in. 391 00:17:07,343 --> 00:17:10,010 And into the slightly less cutthroat business 392 00:17:10,088 --> 00:17:11,937 of maternity wear. 393 00:17:12,090 --> 00:17:13,865 I'm gonna get my soul back. 394 00:17:13,941 --> 00:17:16,776 And Maggie is my inspiration. 395 00:17:16,928 --> 00:17:19,019 -Aw. -Give me one more day 396 00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,872 to prove that I belong in her life. 397 00:17:21,099 --> 00:17:22,707 I'll see what I can do. 398 00:17:22,784 --> 00:17:24,959 (giggles) 399 00:17:26,195 --> 00:17:28,104 Legs! Louie! Get in here! 400 00:17:28,197 --> 00:17:29,363 Dispose of this. 401 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,425 I don't want to know where or how. 402 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:43,469 Ain't nobody gonna find this now. 403 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,522 Uh, marone. You never forget that smell. 404 00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:04,415 Remember: take the gun. 405 00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:06,250 Leave the Zamboni. 406 00:18:06,477 --> 00:18:08,978 Okay, this is it. I'm ending it today. 407 00:18:09,071 --> 00:18:12,298 In a public place with a lot of witnesses. 408 00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:20,673 Well, Fat Tony, this is really fun, 409 00:18:20,825 --> 00:18:22,825 but where is everyone else? 410 00:18:22,844 --> 00:18:25,103 On the suggestion of my coworkers, 411 00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:27,772 who only have my best interests in mind, 412 00:18:27,999 --> 00:18:29,832 I bought out the whole arena 413 00:18:29,925 --> 00:18:32,426 for my dear little Maggie. 414 00:18:32,595 --> 00:18:34,595 No audience means no witnesses! 415 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,114 What's going on? 416 00:18:36,265 --> 00:18:38,357 Fat Tony, I beg you! 417 00:18:38,509 --> 00:18:41,268 Stop being my daughter's godfather! 418 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,621 If you do, I'll clean for you, I'll cook for you. 419 00:18:43,772 --> 00:18:45,531 I'll be your mama! 420 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,583 God rest her soul. 421 00:18:48,944 --> 00:18:50,444 I must refuse your offer. 422 00:18:50,538 --> 00:18:53,131 I made a promise to God to watch your baby. 423 00:18:53,358 --> 00:18:55,949 And he's the only boss I answer to. 424 00:18:56,043 --> 00:18:59,286 Except that guy in Kansas City. 425 00:18:59,380 --> 00:19:00,972 MARGE: Oh, no! No! 426 00:19:01,123 --> 00:19:02,548 We're stuck with him forever! 427 00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:04,392 Maggie's in Hell already! 428 00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,710 Johnny Tightlips! 429 00:19:14,803 --> 00:19:16,470 This is it, Tony. 430 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:19,231 You did the worst thing a mob boss could ever do. 431 00:19:19,384 --> 00:19:21,384 Care about somebody else. 432 00:19:21,402 --> 00:19:24,162 I thought you was with me on this double cross! 433 00:19:24,389 --> 00:19:27,147 We'll never turn on Tony! He's my cousin! 434 00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,666 I thought he was my cousin! 435 00:19:28,893 --> 00:19:30,242 Well, he's somebody's cousin. 436 00:19:30,395 --> 00:19:32,561 And in this world, that's what counts. 437 00:19:32,563 --> 00:19:34,321 You would betray me? 438 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,414 (grunts) 439 00:19:35,566 --> 00:19:36,716 (gasps) 440 00:19:38,753 --> 00:19:41,070 No, Maggie, no! I'm sorry! 441 00:19:41,088 --> 00:19:43,664 -That's not me! -Oh, isn't it? 442 00:19:43,832 --> 00:19:45,241 Oh, my God, you're right. 443 00:19:45,334 --> 00:19:46,851 I cannot change who I am. 444 00:19:47,078 --> 00:19:49,169 Also that maternity store was a joke. 445 00:19:49,263 --> 00:19:51,004 They look, but don't buy. 446 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:53,933 But, Maggie, it's not too late for you to go straight. 447 00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,585 I'm stepping back as godfather. 448 00:19:56,679 --> 00:19:57,895 -Finally. -Thank God. 449 00:19:58,047 --> 00:19:59,513 (grunting) 450 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:00,606 Oops. 451 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,426 Here's the keys to the SUV. 452 00:20:03,444 --> 00:20:05,453 (both grunting) 453 00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:11,951 You have to let go for me to take them back. 454 00:20:12,103 --> 00:20:13,436 I know, let me just 455 00:20:13,454 --> 00:20:15,454 open the doors one more time. 456 00:20:15,531 --> 00:20:16,697 (alarm chirps) 457 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,549 (grunts, groans) 458 00:20:18,701 --> 00:20:20,943 Maggie, my darling. 459 00:20:21,036 --> 00:20:23,370 Thank you for reminding me of everything 460 00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,539 that's good and sweet in this world. 461 00:20:25,633 --> 00:20:27,708 And now, ciao bella. 462 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,118 (sniffing) Ew, uh, 463 00:20:29,136 --> 00:20:31,562 before you go... could you? 464 00:20:31,714 --> 00:20:33,397 Just when I thought I was out, 465 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,067 they drag me back in. 466 00:20:50,141 --> 00:20:51,398 I'm not afraid to say it. 467 00:20:51,492 --> 00:20:53,417 If this keeps up, I'm calling HR. 468 00:20:53,644 --> 00:20:56,545 You mean Harry the Rat? He's buried right over there. 469 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,927 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 470 00:21:03,078 --> 00:21:05,930 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 471 00:21:06,081 --> 00:21:09,008 And FORD. We go further, so you can. 472 00:21:09,084 --> 00:21:12,228 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 473 00:21:29,697 --> 00:21:31,998 Shh!