1 00:00:06,582 --> 00:00:08,398 (woman yodeling) 2 00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:10,384 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:16,757 (yodeling stops) 4 00:00:16,925 --> 00:00:19,101 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:23,599 --> 00:00:25,507 (crickets chirping) 6 00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:27,568 ♪ ♪ 7 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,600 (puppies yipping) 8 00:00:43,693 --> 00:00:46,436 Congratulations, sir-- it's eight puppies. 9 00:00:46,455 --> 00:00:48,380 Four boys, three girls, and, uh, 10 00:00:48,532 --> 00:00:50,957 one who would prefer not to be labeled yet. 11 00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:53,052 Excellent, eight purebred puppies 12 00:00:53,203 --> 00:00:54,461 descended from the first litter 13 00:00:54,613 --> 00:00:57,222 of Karl Friedrich Dobermann himself. 14 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,299 Smithers, you're in charge of their training. 15 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,635 Teach them all the classic commands. 16 00:01:01,787 --> 00:01:03,303 Sit, stay... 17 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:06,565 and bite striking workers with your "wittle teefers." 18 00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:07,958 Yes, Mr. Burns. 19 00:01:07,976 --> 00:01:10,143 And you've allowed the training dummies 20 00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:12,053 to fall into terrible disrepair. 21 00:01:12,147 --> 00:01:13,772 So I've ordered a new one. 22 00:01:13,999 --> 00:01:15,390 Here he is now. 23 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,409 Um, I was told there'd be a taco truck? 24 00:01:17,636 --> 00:01:20,137 Don't worry, their adult teeth haven't come in yet. 25 00:01:20,155 --> 00:01:22,581 Just look out for their much sharper baby teeth. 26 00:01:22,808 --> 00:01:24,708 -(puppies snarling) -(Homer shouting) 27 00:01:25,811 --> 00:01:28,629 -(whimpers) -Hmm. Hmm. 28 00:01:29,665 --> 00:01:31,315 (snarls) 29 00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:34,075 Ah, I guess "Executive Kennel Supervisor" 30 00:01:34,169 --> 00:01:36,169 is all I'll ever be to Mr. Burns. 31 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,171 Nothing-- ow-- worse-- ow-- 32 00:01:38,324 --> 00:01:40,324 than not being respected-- ow-- 33 00:01:40,417 --> 00:01:41,749 at work! Ow! 34 00:01:41,918 --> 00:01:44,010 ♪ ♪ 35 00:01:44,163 --> 00:01:46,605 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Ow. (moans) 36 00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,608 Ow. Ow. Ow. 37 00:01:49,835 --> 00:01:52,277 -Ow. -Aw! 38 00:01:53,172 --> 00:01:55,672 -(snarling) -(grunting) 39 00:01:55,765 --> 00:01:57,691 (snarling) 40 00:01:57,843 --> 00:02:00,010 Ah, the puppies are finally 41 00:02:00,028 --> 00:02:01,436 murderous enough to be doled out 42 00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:04,364 to my rich and powerful allies who need watchdogs. 43 00:02:04,516 --> 00:02:06,533 Now to look through the pile of bribes 44 00:02:06,685 --> 00:02:09,628 and see who's begging hard enough to earn a puppy. 45 00:02:09,855 --> 00:02:13,857 Warren Buffett sent this box of broken wooden pieces. 46 00:02:13,876 --> 00:02:15,175 Sir, that's a puzzle. 47 00:02:15,361 --> 00:02:16,526 (chuckles) It certainly is a puzzle. 48 00:02:16,545 --> 00:02:19,304 What's his game, sending me these misshapen bits? 49 00:02:19,456 --> 00:02:22,641 Uh, well, it's an activity people do for fun. 50 00:02:22,792 --> 00:02:24,977 With their friends. Perhaps you and I could-- 51 00:02:25,128 --> 00:02:26,979 Perhaps you could stop assuming familiarity 52 00:02:27,130 --> 00:02:28,221 with your betters. 53 00:02:28,374 --> 00:02:29,982 Now de-gunk the puppies' eyes! 54 00:02:30,133 --> 00:02:31,733 (Smithers groans sadly) 55 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,989 (whimpering nearby) 56 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:42,235 Oh, if only I'd been born in a litter of puppies, 57 00:02:42,388 --> 00:02:44,479 then maybe someone would love me. 58 00:02:44,573 --> 00:02:46,540 (clears his throat) Simpson! 59 00:02:47,059 --> 00:02:48,725 (sniffles) 60 00:02:48,818 --> 00:02:51,244 Come on, Mr. Smithers, you don't have to be lonely. 61 00:02:51,397 --> 00:02:53,246 You've totally got it going on. 62 00:02:53,399 --> 00:02:55,841 You've got that bow tie and those glasses 63 00:02:56,068 --> 00:02:58,902 and that hunky nasal voice. 64 00:02:58,921 --> 00:03:01,346 Oh, sadly, the Springfield dating pool is 65 00:03:01,498 --> 00:03:03,089 pretty bleak. 66 00:03:03,166 --> 00:03:05,333 It's always guys who don't want to commit, 67 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,928 or straight guys who are going through a phase. 68 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:09,837 Disco Stu is 69 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:12,173 hetero-flexible. Ooh! 70 00:03:12,267 --> 00:03:15,009 (sighs) I just want someone to be there when I get home. 71 00:03:15,103 --> 00:03:17,845 Someone who loves me unconditionally. 72 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,847 Oh, yeah, that's the good stuff. 73 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,942 It's the conditions that'll kill ya. 74 00:03:22,094 --> 00:03:24,519 Mr. Smithers, I'm gonna find you a man-Marge. 75 00:03:24,613 --> 00:03:26,780 Look at this guy-- he seems perfect! 76 00:03:26,932 --> 00:03:28,523 That's me. 77 00:03:28,617 --> 00:03:30,100 Oh, yeah. 78 00:03:30,193 --> 00:03:32,336 Well, it is a much younger picture. 79 00:03:33,530 --> 00:03:35,530 Goodbye. Thank you for the oil. 80 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:36,773 I love it. 81 00:03:36,942 --> 00:03:38,032 Excellent. 82 00:03:38,126 --> 00:03:40,034 Well, that's the last of the litter. 83 00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:42,946 Oh, except for you. 84 00:03:43,039 --> 00:03:45,115 You're no killer, with those soft eyes 85 00:03:45,133 --> 00:03:46,708 and kind disposition. 86 00:03:46,802 --> 00:03:49,427 You've brought shame to the very notion of inbreeding. 87 00:03:49,580 --> 00:03:50,878 Go on, bite him. 88 00:03:50,973 --> 00:03:53,148 Bite his doughy face. 89 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,901 (groans) 90 00:03:56,128 --> 00:03:58,295 Who's gonna take you home? 91 00:03:58,464 --> 00:04:00,130 I hope they find you a dictator 92 00:04:00,299 --> 00:04:01,740 who's as sweet as you are. 93 00:04:01,891 --> 00:04:03,075 Or... 94 00:04:03,302 --> 00:04:04,910 how about a Fortune 500 fashion designer 95 00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:08,396 who's already made a matching suit for the puppy? 96 00:04:08,474 --> 00:04:11,250 Good muscle tone, needy, with a slight drooling problem. 97 00:04:11,401 --> 00:04:13,961 Reminds me of my last boyfriend. 98 00:04:14,070 --> 00:04:18,090 HOMER: His last girlfriend was a boy? 99 00:04:18,241 --> 00:04:21,551 Your last girlfriend was a boy? 100 00:04:22,671 --> 00:04:25,747 (speaking in Mandarin) 101 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:26,765 (knocking) 102 00:04:26,916 --> 00:04:28,341 Oh, I'm sorry. I was just... 103 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,510 Negotiating the sale of excess Kilowatt hours 104 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:31,937 to a Chinese server farm. 105 00:04:32,164 --> 00:04:33,847 And you got a very good deal. 106 00:04:33,999 --> 00:04:34,848 Mm. 107 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:35,665 I also speak Mandarin. 108 00:04:35,684 --> 00:04:37,109 I'm Michael de Graaf, 109 00:04:37,336 --> 00:04:40,170 and I flew here from my villa in Milan to claim this puppy. 110 00:04:40,263 --> 00:04:43,340 I can offer Burns a priceless Impressionist painting. 111 00:04:43,358 --> 00:04:46,343 Mr. Burns' collection could use a Manet... 112 00:04:46,436 --> 00:04:49,955 Well, I've got a Monet and a guy who can change O's to A's. 113 00:04:50,106 --> 00:04:52,365 Mm, Mr. Burns would never know the difference. 114 00:04:52,518 --> 00:04:55,443 He hates art-- he just wants to keep it out of museums. 115 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,354 But first I told him you have some questions 116 00:04:57,372 --> 00:05:00,615 about what the puppy's looking for in a companion. 117 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,543 Well, uh, this is an unusual Dobermann. 118 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,471 Uh, are you prepared for a dog that's sweet, 119 00:05:06,623 --> 00:05:08,974 maybe a little shy, but just wants to give his heart 120 00:05:09,201 --> 00:05:10,867 to someone who loves him? 121 00:05:10,886 --> 00:05:13,036 He sounds like a dream come true. 122 00:05:13,055 --> 00:05:15,147 Okay, the puppy's yours, Mr. de Graaf. 123 00:05:15,298 --> 00:05:16,982 Please, it's Michael. 124 00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:18,817 This calls for a celebration. 125 00:05:19,044 --> 00:05:20,635 Are you free for dinner tonight? 126 00:05:20,729 --> 00:05:21,728 I'm sorry? 127 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,396 You're talented, smart as a whip, 128 00:05:23,549 --> 00:05:26,658 and hot in a 1960s Cape Canaveral kind of way. 129 00:05:26,885 --> 00:05:28,885 I'd love to take you on a date. 130 00:05:28,978 --> 00:05:30,887 Well, I'd love... 131 00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:33,457 to say yes! 132 00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:36,242 ♪ ♪ 133 00:05:36,395 --> 00:05:39,079 I love this place! It's so old school. 134 00:05:39,231 --> 00:05:41,840 It reminds me of my childhood-- laminated menus, 135 00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:45,235 fossilized Parmesan, problematic murals. 136 00:05:45,253 --> 00:05:47,679 -(Michael chuckles) -Welcome-a to Luigi's. 137 00:05:47,906 --> 00:05:49,848 Italiana food for everybody. 138 00:05:49,999 --> 00:05:53,185 I put a-salt and a-pepper on the table, 139 00:05:53,412 --> 00:05:55,428 but for you, such a handsome couple, 140 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,339 if you want-a pepper and-a pepper, 141 00:05:58,433 --> 00:06:00,917 hey, that's a-wonderful, too! 142 00:06:00,936 --> 00:06:04,011 (both laugh) 143 00:06:04,180 --> 00:06:05,864 Vintage vinyl. 144 00:06:06,015 --> 00:06:07,866 Add some spikes to it, and you've got half 145 00:06:08,017 --> 00:06:09,759 of Vivienne Westwood's career. 146 00:06:09,853 --> 00:06:10,777 (laughs) 147 00:06:10,929 --> 00:06:12,262 Okay, that was a fake laugh. 148 00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:15,115 I was afraid to admit I don't know anything about fashion. 149 00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:17,709 Oh, that's so refreshing. 150 00:06:17,936 --> 00:06:20,437 People usually want to date me to get into GQ, 151 00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:23,382 meet Anna Wintour, or co-parent Anderson Cooper's baby. 152 00:06:23,609 --> 00:06:26,051 I guess that was just Anderson Cooper. 153 00:06:26,202 --> 00:06:30,138 Waylon, you are like no one I've ever met. 154 00:06:31,133 --> 00:06:33,266 (muttering in Italian) 155 00:06:34,953 --> 00:06:37,062 Mamma, no! God-a loves everybody! 156 00:06:37,289 --> 00:06:39,356 (shouting in Italian) 157 00:06:40,626 --> 00:06:43,460 But what about Uncle Benito and the roommate 158 00:06:43,553 --> 00:06:45,812 he always-a brings to Easter supper? 159 00:06:45,964 --> 00:06:47,406 (spits) 160 00:06:47,557 --> 00:06:50,634 Mamma, no! Do not put a hex on their ziti! 161 00:06:50,727 --> 00:06:52,994 (both laughing) 162 00:06:53,805 --> 00:06:55,747 ♪ ♪ 163 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,310 People like me should spend more time in flyover country, 164 00:07:00,403 --> 00:07:02,495 see what America's really like. 165 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,090 More like fly-around country. Planes won't go near us 166 00:07:05,317 --> 00:07:08,093 because of all the teens with laser pointers. 167 00:07:10,989 --> 00:07:13,247 (sighs) It's a shame you have to leave tomorrow. 168 00:07:13,341 --> 00:07:14,841 Oh, I'm canceling my flight. 169 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,159 Why? 170 00:07:16,178 --> 00:07:17,327 Because it would be much harder 171 00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:20,439 to fall in love with you from Milan. 172 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,668 (shivering) 173 00:07:24,761 --> 00:07:26,336 Homer, what happened? 174 00:07:26,354 --> 00:07:28,188 I can feel it-- my fix-up is working. 175 00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:30,857 I changed the destiny of two human beings. 176 00:07:31,009 --> 00:07:33,526 I am a gay matchmaking God! 177 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,346 What about some straight matchmaking for us? 178 00:07:36,364 --> 00:07:39,332 (scoffs) I'm a God, not a miracle worker. 179 00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,040 And he posted you on his Instagram? 180 00:07:47,192 --> 00:07:49,876 Cute caption? Gay couple emoji? (gasps) 181 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,119 (singsongy): I'm excited! 182 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,472 What was that? 183 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,031 Oh, just guy stuff. 184 00:07:55,124 --> 00:07:57,124 Smithers was updating me on his boyfriend. 185 00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,126 -Boyfriend? -Yeah, no big deal. 186 00:07:59,295 --> 00:08:01,963 I kind of fixed Smithers up with a dude I know. 187 00:08:02,057 --> 00:08:03,482 Now they're going steady. No big deal. 188 00:08:03,709 --> 00:08:05,800 Wait, wait, I just have one question. 189 00:08:05,894 --> 00:08:07,727 Can I ask you a thousand questions? 190 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,197 Sorry, Marge, late for work. 191 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,991 (birds chirping) 192 00:08:13,218 --> 00:08:15,218 -Tell me everything! -(shrieks) 193 00:08:15,311 --> 00:08:17,662 Um, they've been dating for six weeks or so. 194 00:08:17,814 --> 00:08:18,830 You probably don't even know him. 195 00:08:19,057 --> 00:08:20,223 He's some fashion designer guy. 196 00:08:20,242 --> 00:08:21,574 Michael de Graaf. 197 00:08:21,727 --> 00:08:22,834 What? 198 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,319 Smithers is dating Michael de Graaf, 199 00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:29,156 the judge on seasons ten through 15 of America's Got Fabric? 200 00:08:29,251 --> 00:08:32,068 He has my favorite catchphrase! 201 00:08:32,161 --> 00:08:34,495 Now, that is avant-gorgeous. 202 00:08:34,589 --> 00:08:36,681 Oh, my God, honey, you got catchphrased. 203 00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:40,093 And he's even more famous for his savage zings. 204 00:08:40,262 --> 00:08:42,412 I don't know. It's a little Sex and the City. 205 00:08:42,430 --> 00:08:45,857 If there were no sex and the city was Milwaukee. 206 00:08:46,009 --> 00:08:47,192 (chuckles) 207 00:08:47,343 --> 00:08:50,195 They dress so bad in Milwaukee. 208 00:08:50,422 --> 00:08:51,345 I assume. 209 00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:52,364 Hmm? 210 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:54,449 (groans) 211 00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:57,594 I have to meet Michael de Graaf! 212 00:08:57,763 --> 00:09:00,354 Okay, okay. When they come back from their trip. 213 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:03,099 Ooh, whisked off by a billionaire. 214 00:09:03,192 --> 00:09:05,544 How romantic. Where did they go? 215 00:09:05,695 --> 00:09:08,195 Well, Smithers says they're too young for Provincetown, 216 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,123 too monogamous for Fire Island 217 00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,942 and you know how Waylon gets in Palm Springs. 218 00:09:12,961 --> 00:09:14,052 No, I don't! 219 00:09:14,203 --> 00:09:16,596 I don't know anything! 220 00:09:21,469 --> 00:09:22,727 Yeah, it's pretty sweet 221 00:09:22,879 --> 00:09:25,713 to completely alter the course of people's lives. 222 00:09:25,791 --> 00:09:27,715 If it goes great, I'm a genius. 223 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:28,808 If it goes south, 224 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,144 I just turn off my phone. 225 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:34,480 Ah, a beautiful resort, 226 00:09:34,633 --> 00:09:35,907 a turquoise ocean. 227 00:09:36,134 --> 00:09:37,801 The only thing missing is Christine Baranski 228 00:09:37,894 --> 00:09:39,302 singing "Dancing Queen." 229 00:09:39,395 --> 00:09:41,654 I thought you might say that. 230 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,898 ("Dancing Queen" playing) 231 00:09:44,025 --> 00:09:47,160 ♪ Friday night and the lights are low ♪ 232 00:09:47,312 --> 00:09:51,072 ♪ Looking out for a place to go ♪ 233 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,240 Oh, my God! How much did that cost? 234 00:09:53,409 --> 00:09:54,593 Less than you might think. 235 00:09:54,669 --> 00:09:56,836 -Oh, and I got you something else. -Oh. 236 00:09:56,913 --> 00:09:58,338 I call it the Waylon. 237 00:09:58,490 --> 00:10:00,915 Like you, it's sophisticated yet playful, 238 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,992 as blue and sparkling as your eyes. 239 00:10:03,011 --> 00:10:04,510 Okay, I've got to go. 240 00:10:04,587 --> 00:10:07,997 I'm helping a 13-year-old boy come out to his parents. 241 00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:10,350 To Jacksonville! 242 00:10:10,502 --> 00:10:15,672 ♪ Digging the dancing queen...! ♪ 243 00:10:15,765 --> 00:10:17,523 (song ends) 244 00:10:17,676 --> 00:10:19,008 (bird caws) 245 00:10:19,027 --> 00:10:21,361 (panting) Sorry I'm late, sir. 246 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,680 A-And sorry I wasn't available this weekend. 247 00:10:23,773 --> 00:10:25,439 Or last weekend. I was... 248 00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:26,774 You were gone? (chuckles) 249 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,534 Who cares? I figured it out. 250 00:10:28,687 --> 00:10:30,462 These pieces are designed to interlock. 251 00:10:30,689 --> 00:10:32,446 But to what purpose? 252 00:10:32,615 --> 00:10:33,857 Sir, it is a puzzle. 253 00:10:33,875 --> 00:10:35,191 Not for long, man. 254 00:10:35,284 --> 00:10:37,135 Monty Burns is on the case. 255 00:10:37,395 --> 00:10:41,723 The obvious first step is to sort every piece by weight. 256 00:10:45,871 --> 00:10:46,978 -Waylon! -(gasps) 257 00:10:47,205 --> 00:10:49,873 Marge? Why are you in the executive parking lot? 258 00:10:49,891 --> 00:10:50,965 Who cares? 259 00:10:51,059 --> 00:10:53,376 Tell me all about Michael de Graaf! 260 00:10:53,395 --> 00:10:56,546 (chuckles) Well, Michael's kind of perfect. 261 00:10:56,564 --> 00:10:58,381 Attentive, treats me like an equal, 262 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,066 has never trap-doored an entire Girl Scout troop 263 00:11:00,218 --> 00:11:01,551 because they were out of Thin Mints. 264 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,404 I mean, it's nice to finally be in love with someone... 265 00:11:04,556 --> 00:11:05,163 good. 266 00:11:05,314 --> 00:11:06,998 I'm dying to meet him. 267 00:11:07,150 --> 00:11:10,059 What if we threw you two a party? 268 00:11:10,078 --> 00:11:11,744 A party. That's what people do 269 00:11:11,897 --> 00:11:13,838 when they finally have something worth celebrating. 270 00:11:13,990 --> 00:11:16,065 -Let's do it! -Yes! 271 00:11:16,159 --> 00:11:18,902 This makes me part of your couple origin story. 272 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:19,903 I'm in! 273 00:11:19,921 --> 00:11:21,638 (low, upbeat music plays) 274 00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:25,742 Just what I always wanted for him, 275 00:11:25,835 --> 00:11:27,835 a handsome billionaire boyfriend. 276 00:11:27,929 --> 00:11:29,187 So happy. 277 00:11:29,414 --> 00:11:30,246 (grunts) 278 00:11:30,265 --> 00:11:31,839 Excuse me, Mr. de Graaf, 279 00:11:32,008 --> 00:11:34,417 we love your wicked zingers on the show. 280 00:11:34,436 --> 00:11:35,360 Could you? 281 00:11:35,511 --> 00:11:36,361 My pleasure. 282 00:11:36,588 --> 00:11:38,438 Wow, it was so kind of Estelle Getty 283 00:11:38,590 --> 00:11:41,348 to donate her wardrobe for your production of The Crucible. 284 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,275 (laughs) 285 00:11:42,427 --> 00:11:44,928 Hello and welcome to Grey Gardens. 286 00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:46,854 At least those ladies had a look. 287 00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,707 You have a "don't look." 288 00:11:48,934 --> 00:11:50,600 (laughing) 289 00:11:50,693 --> 00:11:51,543 Do you like my top? 290 00:11:51,770 --> 00:11:53,194 Yes, I love the shoulder pads. 291 00:11:53,362 --> 00:11:56,122 Is something I would have said in the '90s but not about that. 292 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,716 Do you like my top? 293 00:11:57,867 --> 00:11:59,968 Yes. He seems very nice. 294 00:12:01,037 --> 00:12:03,221 Is it wrong to enjoy being envied? 295 00:12:03,372 --> 00:12:05,465 Because I am savoring it. 296 00:12:05,617 --> 00:12:07,967 When did you first realize that Homer was the one, 297 00:12:08,136 --> 00:12:09,969 the great love of your life? 298 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,546 Well, after he got me pregnant, 299 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:15,567 I just knew he was someone I was gonna have kids with. 300 00:12:15,794 --> 00:12:17,293 Aw. Mwah. 301 00:12:17,386 --> 00:12:19,887 Young lady, I like your quirky fashion sense. 302 00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,148 That zigzag dress hem is everything. 303 00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:25,134 Thanks, but I don't really pay attention to fashion. 304 00:12:25,228 --> 00:12:28,137 It doesn't seem... super important. 305 00:12:28,139 --> 00:12:30,564 I'd like to suggest some alterations. May I? 306 00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:33,659 I mean, it's a waste of your time, but fine. 307 00:12:33,812 --> 00:12:35,736 Wearing the same thing every day is a choice, 308 00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:38,831 so I can free up my mind to think about important things, 309 00:12:38,984 --> 00:12:40,908 rather than "Am I on trend?" 310 00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,927 Ha, whatever that means. 311 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,837 You know who didn't care about fashion? 312 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,264 Ruth Bader Ginsburg. 313 00:12:46,491 --> 00:12:48,508 She slapped on a doily and that was enough. 314 00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:51,677 This obsession with appearance in our culture... 315 00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:52,845 Did you make me taller? 316 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,347 I feel so confident. 317 00:12:54,516 --> 00:12:58,334 I don't even have a job, but I'm going to ask for a raise. 318 00:12:58,353 --> 00:12:59,319 (grunts) 319 00:13:00,672 --> 00:13:02,447 A toast to our hosts. 320 00:13:02,598 --> 00:13:04,023 And to Marge's hair, 321 00:13:04,175 --> 00:13:06,433 which is avant-gorgeous. 322 00:13:06,528 --> 00:13:07,860 (chuckles): Oh! 323 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,621 And I want you to be the first to hear-- 324 00:13:09,772 --> 00:13:12,015 I've decided to manufacture my new retail line 325 00:13:12,033 --> 00:13:13,533 right here in Springfield, 326 00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:16,853 in the factory that used to make fidget spinners. 327 00:13:16,855 --> 00:13:18,371 Spin-ners! 328 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:21,024 And if anyone needs a job, there are applications 329 00:13:21,042 --> 00:13:24,710 right next to the best coleslaw I've ever had. 330 00:13:24,863 --> 00:13:26,304 MARGE: Ooh-hoo! 331 00:13:26,455 --> 00:13:27,806 (cheering) 332 00:13:27,957 --> 00:13:28,807 (grumbles) 333 00:13:29,034 --> 00:13:31,050 Mamma, everyone is-a happy. 334 00:13:31,202 --> 00:13:34,312 Why are you so against this-a love? Why? 335 00:13:34,463 --> 00:13:35,872 I hate... 336 00:13:35,965 --> 00:13:38,465 because I hate-a myself! 337 00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:41,210 I... I love-a the women. 338 00:13:41,212 --> 00:13:43,488 No, Mamma, you are beautiful. 339 00:13:43,715 --> 00:13:46,324 You love-a the women, and I love-a the you. 340 00:13:46,475 --> 00:13:48,384 (both crying) 341 00:13:48,477 --> 00:13:52,738 I had a pillow of-a Gina Lollobrigida 342 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,223 that I used to, oh... 343 00:13:54,317 --> 00:13:56,317 (speaking Italian) 344 00:13:56,411 --> 00:13:59,128 Oh, oh, okay, okay, okay, Mamma! 345 00:14:00,398 --> 00:14:02,841 (gasps) Look, it's Michael's new factory! 346 00:14:03,068 --> 00:14:04,325 So modern. 347 00:14:04,419 --> 00:14:05,585 Can we look inside? 348 00:14:05,737 --> 00:14:07,737 Yeah, do you know anybody that works there? 349 00:14:07,830 --> 00:14:10,423 Ha, well, they hired most of the desperate saps 350 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:11,832 who've been unemployed forever. 351 00:14:12,001 --> 00:14:13,334 So, yeah, I'm friends with all of 'em. 352 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:16,521 This week's trend is glitter on sunglasses. 353 00:14:16,672 --> 00:14:18,398 So we got right on it. 354 00:14:25,773 --> 00:14:26,939 (coughs) 355 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,275 What happens to all the toxic stuff? 356 00:14:29,427 --> 00:14:31,661 It gets off-glittered through the chimney. 357 00:14:32,764 --> 00:14:34,097 (geese honking) 358 00:14:34,115 --> 00:14:37,458 (distressed honking) 359 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,270 Hey, look at me, I'm a working stiff! 360 00:14:41,289 --> 00:14:43,940 Very stiff. These chemicals are giving me a condition 361 00:14:44,033 --> 00:14:47,135 my doctor calls "living rigor mortis." 362 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,095 (yells) 363 00:14:50,632 --> 00:14:53,374 No wonder fast fashion is so inexpensive. 364 00:14:53,468 --> 00:14:55,727 This place is terrible for the environment. 365 00:14:55,878 --> 00:14:57,470 And it's a sweatshop! 366 00:14:57,622 --> 00:15:00,565 No, sweetie, it's a sweatpants shop. 367 00:15:00,716 --> 00:15:03,902 Which are made with Lycra, which leaches into the sea. 368 00:15:04,053 --> 00:15:06,905 Our oceans are now ten percent spandex. 369 00:15:07,056 --> 00:15:09,073 Well, then they'll fit the Earth more snugly. 370 00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:10,742 Dad, how can Michael allow this? 371 00:15:10,818 --> 00:15:13,653 I thought gay people were supposed to be better than us. 372 00:15:13,805 --> 00:15:14,895 You mean our boss? 373 00:15:14,973 --> 00:15:15,914 He knows. 374 00:15:16,065 --> 00:15:18,166 ♪ ♪ 375 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,587 No. Michael's the perfect guy for Smithers. 376 00:15:22,814 --> 00:15:24,571 I picked him out! 377 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,240 I fixed them up! 378 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:30,094 My gay matchmaking reputation is ruined! 379 00:15:30,321 --> 00:15:32,722 The human suffering is bad, too. 380 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:40,680 (sighs) How do I tell Smithers that the love of his life 381 00:15:40,848 --> 00:15:42,256 is running a sweatshop? 382 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,757 Hey, look, you tried to play God, 383 00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:45,334 and now, like God, 384 00:15:45,503 --> 00:15:49,338 you get to stand back and laugh at all the losers' suffering. 385 00:15:49,432 --> 00:15:51,007 Ha-ha. 386 00:15:51,009 --> 00:15:52,617 Ah, losers. 387 00:15:52,844 --> 00:15:56,454 Oh, who knew gay relationships could be complicated? 388 00:15:56,681 --> 00:15:59,273 (men moaning) 389 00:15:59,367 --> 00:16:01,608 Man, tough day on the line. 390 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:05,946 Another guy lost an arm to the spaghetti strap slicer. 391 00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:08,207 Oh, I don't feel so good. 392 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:11,694 I think I spent too much time in the tie-dye chamber. 393 00:16:11,713 --> 00:16:13,012 (coughs) 394 00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:14,955 You think that's bad? 395 00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,725 I got to go break a guy's heart. 396 00:16:19,628 --> 00:16:21,128 There he is! 397 00:16:21,222 --> 00:16:22,629 The man who showed me that love is real 398 00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:25,541 and there is a man at the end of the rainbow. 399 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:29,153 Oof. Speaking of showing you things you didn't know, 400 00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:31,698 look what his factory's done to Lake Springfield. 401 00:16:33,401 --> 00:16:34,717 Wha...? (gasps) 402 00:16:34,736 --> 00:16:37,053 HOMER: It's gone plaid. 403 00:16:37,146 --> 00:16:39,146 (groans) M-Michael must have an explanation. 404 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,147 He-He's a good man. 405 00:16:40,316 --> 00:16:41,891 Uh, I just need advice 406 00:16:41,909 --> 00:16:43,668 from someone who understands the ethical challenges 407 00:16:43,895 --> 00:16:45,728 faced by business leaders. 408 00:16:45,747 --> 00:16:49,065 Smithers, I've made amazing progress. 409 00:16:49,158 --> 00:16:51,067 By giving this enigma my undivided attention, 410 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,919 I've proven conclusively these pieces form... 411 00:16:54,072 --> 00:16:55,829 a secret image. 412 00:16:55,998 --> 00:16:57,406 I can't believe I'm asking you this, 413 00:16:57,500 --> 00:17:00,409 but I-I have a question about, uh... 414 00:17:00,428 --> 00:17:01,519 my love life. 415 00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:03,688 Indeed. Tell me about the lucky lady. 416 00:17:03,915 --> 00:17:05,097 -Man. -Oh. What's her... 417 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:06,265 -His. -...name? 418 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,842 -Michael. -Michelle. Such a lovely name. 419 00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:10,010 And, uh, what does she... 420 00:17:10,104 --> 00:17:11,178 -He. -...do? 421 00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:12,421 Well, that's just it, sir. 422 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,348 He's the CEO of a major company. 423 00:17:14,442 --> 00:17:16,108 He's wonderful to me, but I-I'm worried 424 00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:19,095 he might ruthlessly care about nothing but profit. 425 00:17:19,113 --> 00:17:20,538 Ooh, don't tell me, 426 00:17:20,765 --> 00:17:22,022 is it Sheryl Sandberg? 427 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,541 No, it's Michael de Graaf. 428 00:17:23,692 --> 00:17:25,935 Michael de Graaf? Smithers, you fool. 429 00:17:26,028 --> 00:17:27,436 Marry that man right now. 430 00:17:27,455 --> 00:17:30,773 -What? -So you have to pretend to be gay-- who cares? 431 00:17:30,792 --> 00:17:32,124 He's a billionaire. 432 00:17:32,277 --> 00:17:34,135 Come, you must see. 433 00:17:34,962 --> 00:17:36,429 SMITHERS: A denim fire? 434 00:17:37,465 --> 00:17:39,390 De Graaf's discovered the secret. 435 00:17:39,542 --> 00:17:42,952 Fast fashion is far more toxic than nuclear power. 436 00:17:43,045 --> 00:17:46,046 -It's worse? -Nuclear energy gives people warmth and light. 437 00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:48,958 This guy is profiting off a product nobody needs: 438 00:17:49,051 --> 00:17:51,644 a constant stream of brand-new skinnied jeans 439 00:17:51,796 --> 00:17:54,072 and be-cropped tops. 440 00:17:55,316 --> 00:17:57,700 Look what they've done to Blinky. 441 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,747 Our toxins may have created the three-eyed fish, 442 00:18:02,898 --> 00:18:04,473 but we never managed to kill it. 443 00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:06,617 You've got yourself one hell of a guy. 444 00:18:06,769 --> 00:18:09,295 Don't let him slip away. 445 00:18:12,408 --> 00:18:14,425 (explosion) 446 00:18:15,911 --> 00:18:18,170 (gasps) I always thought a Chernobyl in Springfield 447 00:18:18,323 --> 00:18:20,172 would be caused by my horrible boss, 448 00:18:20,325 --> 00:18:22,391 not my perfect boyfriend. 449 00:18:24,495 --> 00:18:27,730 ♪ ♪ 450 00:18:39,435 --> 00:18:41,344 Something's clogging the engine! 451 00:18:41,362 --> 00:18:43,696 My God, it's loungewear. 452 00:18:43,848 --> 00:18:46,165 Loungewear! 453 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:51,462 Michael, your factory is literally a toxic workplace. 454 00:18:51,614 --> 00:18:52,872 Don't worry, sweetie. 455 00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:55,282 I've got an amazing crisis management company. 456 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,193 They're the ones who squelched the story 457 00:18:57,286 --> 00:19:00,221 that Peloton seats are made from dolphin faces. 458 00:19:02,049 --> 00:19:04,533 -(explosion) -(yells) -If I'm making clothes 459 00:19:04,627 --> 00:19:06,460 for Tommy Target and Wendy Walmart, 460 00:19:06,554 --> 00:19:07,645 they have to be cheap. 461 00:19:07,796 --> 00:19:08,888 Because in fast fashion, 462 00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:11,131 whoever cuts the most corners wins. 463 00:19:11,225 --> 00:19:14,652 (cries) I can't believe I fell in love with a monster. 464 00:19:14,803 --> 00:19:18,381 Really? It seems to me that you have a pretty consistent type. 465 00:19:18,399 --> 00:19:19,306 Ah. 466 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,808 -(explosion) -Exquisite. 467 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:22,976 Is that acid? 468 00:19:23,070 --> 00:19:24,829 No, molten sports bra. 469 00:19:24,980 --> 00:19:27,239 Waylon, you deserve Milan, Paris, 470 00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,834 at the very least, a town with a Chipotle. 471 00:19:30,061 --> 00:19:31,894 I love that you care about what's right, 472 00:19:32,063 --> 00:19:34,172 but, for once, do what's right for you. 473 00:19:34,323 --> 00:19:37,066 Come away with me and be adored. 474 00:19:37,084 --> 00:19:40,219 (sighs) Adored would be a nice change. 475 00:19:44,258 --> 00:19:46,759 To seeing the best in each other 476 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,835 and ignoring everything else. 477 00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:51,096 I'll drink to that. 478 00:19:51,249 --> 00:19:52,748 -(yaps) -Ooh! Idiot! 479 00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:56,510 These pants are made of cashmere and shredded Picassos. 480 00:19:56,604 --> 00:19:58,196 (whimpers) 481 00:19:59,090 --> 00:20:00,698 (whimpers) 482 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,578 ♪ ♪ 483 00:20:07,448 --> 00:20:08,447 Buck up, pal. 484 00:20:08,599 --> 00:20:10,616 Beautiful jet-setting gay billionaires 485 00:20:10,768 --> 00:20:12,543 are a dime a dozen in this town. 486 00:20:12,695 --> 00:20:15,028 (sighs) It's gonna take some time to get over Michael. 487 00:20:15,122 --> 00:20:17,739 But I did get one thing out of the relationship. 488 00:20:18,776 --> 00:20:20,793 Someone to be there when I come home, 489 00:20:20,945 --> 00:20:23,462 who will love me unconditionally. 490 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:24,705 (chuckles softly) 491 00:20:25,633 --> 00:20:29,060 You're the one hound I'll never release. 492 00:20:37,628 --> 00:20:39,886 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 493 00:20:39,981 --> 00:20:42,131 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 494 00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:44,659 And FORD. We go further, so you can. 495 00:20:49,398 --> 00:20:53,400 The last piece. You will reveal your secrets to me. 496 00:20:53,494 --> 00:20:56,328 Good Lord! All this time, it was a hot-air balloon! 497 00:20:56,481 --> 00:20:58,405 Yes, sir, just like the picture on the box. 498 00:20:58,499 --> 00:21:01,166 There was a picture? Well, that could have saved me months! 499 00:21:01,243 --> 00:21:03,168 Oh, well. Now I can get back to crushing unions, 500 00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:05,337 fouling the air and garbaging the Pacific. 501 00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,098 (stammers) Sir, before you do that, 502 00:21:07,249 --> 00:21:08,933 maybe you'd like to try another puzzle? 503 00:21:09,084 --> 00:21:10,159 This one's a little harder. 504 00:21:10,252 --> 00:21:12,252 It's a hundred pieces, and, uh, 505 00:21:12,346 --> 00:21:14,013 two of the unicorns look pretty similar. 506 00:21:14,165 --> 00:21:16,256 Clear my calendar! Lock the door! 507 00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:17,775 Turn up the Wagner. 508 00:21:18,002 --> 00:21:20,927 ("Ride of the Valkyries" playing) 509 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:24,156 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 510 00:21:29,347 --> 00:21:31,122 Shh!