1
00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:06,548
The Simpsons.

2
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,002
Fire! Fire! Fire!!

3
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,004
Oh, no!

4
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:29,589
What do I save?

5
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,344
Trophies, trophies...

6
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:35,887
Attendance!

7
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,766
Don't panic! Don't panic! Don't panic!

8
00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:42,602
Get in! Move it! This is not a drill!

9
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,189
Good work, everyone.

10
00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:49,317
We're sure to be
first in line for Duff Days.

11
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:53,279
You set off the smoke alarm
to rush us to a beer festival?

12
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:56,991
I know, I'm a character.

13
00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:59,244
Now a little beer music
to get in the mood.

14
00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:06,334
Looking for these?

15
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,977
Drink Duff... responsibly.

16
00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:26,396
Drink Duff... responsibly.

17
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:28,606
Now, which one of you
is our designated driver?

18
00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:32,235
Twist off, damn it.

19
00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:34,154
I guess I'll be driving.

20
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:37,949
Right this way to the Duff
designated drivers' rockin' fun zone.

21
00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:39,325
Rockin' fun zone?

22
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,202
That sounds fun...

23
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:47,542
I don't see the need for razor wire.

24
00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:52,255
Ooh, there's Ulysses S. Grant,

25
00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:55,216
Babe Ruth... Ben Franklin.

26
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,219
Early to bed... early to rise.

27
00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,804
You think... You think you're

28
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,639
better than me? Huh?

29
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:03,057
Ee...

30
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:06,019
OK, kids, who wants to see

31
00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:07,979
what it's like to get drunk?

32
00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:14,861
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

33
00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:23,453
Now you're charming.

34
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,580
You don't know me.

35
00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:32,629
This guy here...

36
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:36,216
This is the guy.

37
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:38,968
All right,
Springfield, belly up

38
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,846
for the Duff Beer-Tender
of the Year Contest.

39
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:45,016
Now, fresh from his appearance

40
00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:47,936
before the House Subcommittee
on Teenage Alcoholism,

41
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,396
Duffman!

42
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,399
Are you ready for some Duff love?

43
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,235
All right!

44
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:58,196
Today we're going to find out
which of these bartenders

45
00:03:58,279 --> 00:04:01,074
has the right stuff to dispense Duff.

46
00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:02,909
Oh, yeah...

47
00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:06,955
From the Green Potato Pub at
O'Hare International Airport,

48
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:09,666
Michael Finn.

49
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,961
From Juggernauts in Hollywood, California,

50
00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:15,213
Titania.

51
00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:18,341
And now, the local lug who fills your mug

52
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:21,469
with the drug you chug. Oh, yeah!

53
00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:24,222
Give it up for Moe Szyslak.

54
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:26,224
Hello, Springfield, how you...

55
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:30,645
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

56
00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:36,526
OK, our first event
qualifies for course credit

57
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,236
at Dartmouth College,

58
00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:39,696
Trick Pouring.

59
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:42,240
For goodness sake.

60
00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:45,743
I got the hippy hippy shake.

61
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:49,455
Yeah, I got the shake.

62
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,165
That spells Duff.

63
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,751
Go, Moe! Boo, everyone else!

64
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:56,045
I think we know who wins this round,

65
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:59,090
Titania!

66
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:01,509
Duff beer is brewed from hops, barley

67
00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:04,721
and sparkling clear mountain what?

68
00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:06,222
Goat.

69
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,850
Close enough.

70
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:13,813
Ah! You can really taste the goat.

71
00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:15,398
Now, our final round

72
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:18,151
which counts for 98% of the total score,

73
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,862
making the previous rounds
a complete waste.

74
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:27,910
Don't forget, today's winner will be
immortalized on our new Duff calendar.

75
00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:31,205
All right, guys, one, two, three...

76
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:33,082
"Moo?"

77
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,626
Lenny, you were supposed to be "E."

78
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:37,420
See what happens when you skip rehearsal?

79
00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:43,676
All right, bartenders, toss your drunks!

80
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:48,348
And stay out!

81
00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:52,518
Ew! You said if I slept with you,

82
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:54,354
I wouldn't have to touch the drunk.

83
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:57,565
Duffman says a lot of things. Oh, yeah!

84
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:16,000
And the winner, Moe szyslak!

85
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,588
Aw, that's great. Thank you, thanks a lot.

86
00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:22,298
Uh, I just want to say that

87
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,092
it was an honor for me to compete

88
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:26,719
with the Mick and the chick
with the rack there.

89
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,263
- Yeah, all right, Moe!
- That's my Moo!

90
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:32,308
And now, to take
your official calendar portrait.

91
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:36,187
Duff's vice-president in charge
of calenders and fake I.D.s.

92
00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,189
Phil Angelides.

93
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:45,446
That's a mug you don't want to chug.

94
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:48,658
Knock it off, Larry.
We can't put this face on our calendar.

95
00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:03,381
When I get home, there are going to be
a lot of open pickle jars.

96
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:04,966
That one.

97
00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:09,011
Kids, would you like a balloon?

98
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:12,682
Yeah, right, Mom. Then I'd like
a rattle and a wowwipop.

99
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,225
Actually, I would like a wowwipop.

100
00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:17,353
Those balloons won't biodegrade
for 10,000 years.

101
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,772
And if Bart gets a wowwipop,
I want a wowwipop.

102
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,234
Ah, Maggie wants a balloon

103
00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:26,195
and daddy will take a hand
stamp so he can get back in.

104
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,614
Just kidding.

105
00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:32,326
Remember my face.

106
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:36,372
Oh, boy! Uh...

107
00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:42,378
Moe, the new Duff calendars are out,

108
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,464
the ones with your picture!

109
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:47,300
Oh, boy! Move over, liquor license.

110
00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:50,344
Hey, Moe, this license expired in 1973,

111
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:53,931
uh, and it's only good in Rhode Island,
and it's signed by you.

112
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:58,394
Yeah, yeah, I've been meaning to get
that updated, uh, for this state and real.

113
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:01,647
Now, let's see the poster boy
for the new Moe-lennium.

114
00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:06,819
They put a sticker over my face.

115
00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:11,866
Hey! "Viva La... Kiss..." What?

116
00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:13,367
Aw, for the love of Jeff!

117
00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:20,333
- Ugh... Oh! Am I really that ugly?
- Moe, it's all relative.

118
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:22,210
Is Lenny really that dumb?

119
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:23,628
Is Barney that drunk?

120
00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:26,005
Is Homer that lazy, bald and fat?

121
00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:29,133
Oh, my God, it's worse than I thought.

122
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:34,305
See, this is why I don't talk much.

123
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:41,062
I can't believe they put
those stickers over my face.

124
00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:44,023
I must be the ugliest man alive.

125
00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:46,817
Oh, Moe, there's lots of people
uglier than you.

126
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:48,528
Like, you ever been to White Castle?

127
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:51,030
Oh, boy, Pigtown, U.S.A.

128
00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:54,742
Aw, come on, look at me, I'm a gargoyle.
What with the cauliflower ear

129
00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:57,286
- there and the lizard lips...
- Little rat eyes.

130
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,622
- Caveman brow.
- Don't forget that fish mouth.

131
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:02,458
OK! I get it. I ain't pleasant to look at.

132
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,960
- Or listen to.
- Or be with.

133
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:06,045
Come on, Moe, don't feel bad.

134
00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:08,589
There's too much emphasis
on looks these days.

135
00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:11,676
That's why they won't let Bill Maher on TV
before midnight.

136
00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:14,220
Hey, Moe, if you're
tired of being an eyesore.

137
00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:15,805
Why not get some plastic surgery?

138
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:17,974
Plastic surgery, huh?

139
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:22,061
Yeah, maybe they can dynamite Mount
Crapmore here and carve me a new kisser.

140
00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:25,523
Oh, I don't know. Plastic surgery might
make you look good on the outside,

141
00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:28,234
but you still might
feel bad on the inside.

142
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:30,278
But I'd look good on the outside, right?

143
00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:31,904
Yeah, but you'd feel bad inside.

144
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,656
Plastic surgery it is!

145
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:35,908
Carl Carlson, you just saved my life.

146
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:38,077
Hey! Get out of there.

147
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:43,958
Look at her.

148
00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:46,836
It must be great to be a baby
and be so easily amused.

149
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:48,230
Yeah, I wish I could be entertained

150
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:49,547
by two cents' worth of rubber

151
00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:51,299
shaped like some colorful animal

152
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:55,094
dancing and twirling...
Dancing and twirling...

153
00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:59,640
- Hey! Give me that!
- That's mine!

154
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,355
The door!

155
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:10,026
Oh, no!

156
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,408
OK, don't panic, I'll get the bikes.

157
00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:19,493
I hope they're hover bikes.

158
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,412
Oh, man, that would be so awesome.

159
00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:29,003
Mm-hmm... Yeah.

160
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:37,595
It's hopeless, ain't it?

161
00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:40,014
No, no, no, I love a challenge.

162
00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:41,974
First, we must install buttocks.

163
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,810
Nah, nah, nah,
no luxury items, just a face.

164
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:48,481
OK, I'm going to move this up, this wider.

165
00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:49,982
We're going to lose that.

166
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,984
I've never even seen one of these.

167
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,736
Can the medical mumbo jumbo.

168
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:56,072
- Can you fix me or not?
- Well, we'll see.

169
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:58,783
You know, most faces
need a little remodeling,

170
00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:01,077
but this is a total tear-down.

171
00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:03,913
Let me clean up this mess I made.

172
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:06,248
Hey, hey! Hey, that really burns there!

173
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,334
Oh, stop it, you're worse
than Faye Dunaway.

174
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,838
We've got to get closer.

175
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,840
Oh, I'm trying!

176
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,967
Can't I get on your shoulders?

177
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:18,844
I'm not riding a girl's bike.

178
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,847
Hey, it's getting away!
Step on it! Hyah! Hyah!

179
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,974
Stop kicking me!

180
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,812
Oh, boy! What a mug!

181
00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:29,939
Yeah. You should see his genitals.

182
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:31,083
Would you like to see them?

183
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,608
I'm awake here.

184
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:36,570
Uh-oh. This isn't anesthetic.
It's new car smell.

185
00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:38,197
Oh, sorry, Doctor.

186
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:45,371
Oh, silver bells, silver bells...

187
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,625
It's going into that building!

188
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,171
Nice suit, Jeeves.

189
00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:59,218
Daddy, I'm stealing! I'm stealing!

190
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,596
Oh, that's my little dude.

191
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:07,560
We need a symbol. Something that says
we're gay and Republican.

192
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,107
A little on the nose, don't you think?

193
00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:14,650
Excuse me.

194
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,485
We just came to get our balloon.

195
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,071
Here you go. And have a bumper sticker.

196
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,239
Thank you.

197
00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:22,992
"A Gay President in 2084"?

198
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:24,076
We're realistic.

199
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:32,084
Hurry. Hurry up! I have to pee!

200
00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:36,756
- Beautiful.
- OK, now do Moe.

201
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:38,924
Well, Moe, now we see

202
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,010
if you go on my wall of fame

203
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:43,596
or my blooper reel.

204
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,811
What? I'm a monster, right?

205
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:53,939
I knew it. I guess I'll just crawl back
to live in the sewer,

206
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:56,233
periodically emerging to sue you.

207
00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,738
Is that me?

208
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,783
Oopsie! We've got some leakage.

209
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,868
Let me just cauterize that for you.

210
00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:09,914
- Bye, Moe.
- Don't be a stranger, handsome.

211
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:11,165
Bye-bye.

212
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:13,584
Homer, did you hear that?

213
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:16,003
She called me handsome. Me!

214
00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:18,005
It's like I've gone to heaven.

215
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:21,091
Wait a minute. I died on
the operating table, didn't I?

216
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:23,928
Yeah, but just for a minute.

217
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:25,888
It's a funny story.
I'll tell you sometime.

218
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:27,431
So this is all real?

219
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,809
Oh, you dear, dear man.

220
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,311
You're one of us beautiful people now.

221
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:34,814
And your new life begins today.

222
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,065
A new life.

223
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:39,735
A second chance... for revenge.

224
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:43,155
That brown patch needs a little H2O!

225
00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:44,657
Oh, yeah!

226
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:47,910
Hey, Duffman, let's see
how you like a sticker

227
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:50,120
on your face! Yeah!

228
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:53,040
Duffman can't breathe!

229
00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:55,251
Oh, no! Ooh!

230
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,215
- Hello.
- Yeah, hello, yourself.

231
00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:03,926
I'm Moe Syzslak. Back in high school,

232
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:07,805
I asked you to the Springtime
Pumpkin Dance and you turned me down.

233
00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:10,599
Well, I just wanted to show you the face

234
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,143
- that you could have been kissing.
- Yeah!

235
00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:15,396
Oh, I was just a stupid kid back then

236
00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:17,439
and I feel terrible about hurting you.

237
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,149
Will you accept my apology?

238
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,568
Apology?

239
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,737
Uh... Geez, I wasn't expecting that. Uh...

240
00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:26,240
Run!

241
00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:28,200
Man, that felt great!

242
00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:33,205
OK, last stop, Channel Six.

243
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:36,417
You going to get even with that lottery
guy that never picks our numbers?

244
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:39,169
Nah, nah, nah. This is personal.

245
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,381
It all goes back to my acting days.

246
00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:45,175
I was auditioning for the role
of Dr. Tad Winslow

247
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,636
on the hit soap, It Never Ends.

248
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,764
- Angela, I'm afraid I...
- Thank you. Next!

249
00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:54,977
- What were you thinking?
- Well, you said you wanted "gritty."

250
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,687
In other words, "ugly."

251
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,772
I wanted "Mary Ann
on Gilligan's Island" ugly

252
00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:01,567
not "Cornelius on
The Planet of the Apes" ugly.

253
00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:04,987
"TV" ugly, not "ugly" ugly.

254
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:12,745
I've been called ugly,
pug ugly, fugly, pug fugly,

255
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:14,622
but never ugly ugly.

256
00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:17,833
Well, it's time to get some closure.

257
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,920
Extreme closure.

258
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:25,966
But I've been Dr. Tad Winslow
for 25 years.

259
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,260
It's time I got a raise.

260
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,095
Oh, shut up, you windy, old hack.

261
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,473
And another thing. You have
to stop calling me that.

262
00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:34,975
Remember me? Twenty-five years ago,

263
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:38,228
you said I was too ugly
to play Dr. Tad Winslow.

264
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:41,190
I did? Well, that's why
pencils have erasers, hon.

265
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,442
You're our new Dr. Tad Winslow.

266
00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:44,902
Really? You mean it?

267
00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:47,613
But there can't be two Dr. Tad Winslows.

268
00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:49,782
That's going to... Oh.

269
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:56,163
I've been waiting
all my life for this moment.

270
00:15:56,246 --> 00:16:00,084
Homer, whoa, whoa, Homer.

271
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:01,627
Change of plans.

272
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:03,504
Whatever.

273
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:09,426
Like the cleaning of a house,

274
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,929
It Never Ends.

275
00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:15,599
With Gabriella DeFarge
as Gabriella St. Farge.

276
00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:19,979
Allegra Hamilton as Sister Bernadette
and Roxy Monoxide.

277
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,940
And as Dr. Tad Winslow,

278
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:24,817
Moe Szyslak.

279
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:26,610
I don't know if I'll be able to accept Moe

280
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:28,278
as Dr. Tad Winslow.

281
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:29,738
Well, I'm going to keep watching

282
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,907
as long as they have shocking story twists

283
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,409
and endless pillow talk.

284
00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:35,369
Cleo, Cleo...

285
00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:36,996
You've brought music to my heart,

286
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:39,790
but this relationship can never work.

287
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:42,710
I'm a doctor and you're
a 5,000-year-old mummy

288
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,044
I brought back to life.

289
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,754
But I love you, Tad.

290
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,757
And together, we can burn
all the cities of the Earth.

291
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,135
It's against
hospital regulations, damn it!

292
00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:54,471
And Clive Dancer's
just waiting for me to slip up.

293
00:16:56,765 --> 00:16:58,267
So, Lenny, how are things working out

294
00:16:58,350 --> 00:16:59,727
with you and that girl next door?

295
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:02,021
Ah, it's over. She got a window shade.

296
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:04,398
- Wha...
- Whoa, whoa,

297
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:05,941
if you must grope me, ladies.

298
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,693
Please, a little softer.

299
00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:10,029
OK, now, harder.

300
00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:12,990
Hey, there are women in our bar.

301
00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:14,450
Hey, Moe, beer me.

302
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:15,951
I'm a little busy, Homer.

303
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,327
Uh, you can pour it yourself.

304
00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:22,082
Hmm. This isn't nearly as complicated
as Moe made it seem.

305
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:31,091
I didn't bring you back to life

306
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,343
so you could make
a fool of me at the club!

307
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:34,678
You don't love me!

308
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,013
The only thing you love is

309
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:38,057
your ear, nose and throat pavilion.

310
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:41,477
I've dedicated my life
to diseases of the head hole,

311
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,729
but the one hole
I've never been able to fix

312
00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:45,647
is the one in my soul!

313
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,399
That was amazing, Moe.

314
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:49,359
I'm actually a little turned on.

315
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,028
Yeah. Hey, I got a gift.

316
00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:53,447
As a child, I was bitten
by the acting bug.

317
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:56,825
Then it burrowed under my skin
and laid eggs in my heart.

318
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,869
Now those eggs are hatching, and I...

319
00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:00,662
The feeling is indescribable.

320
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:03,123
I know what you mean. Our dog had that.

321
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:05,209
Excuse me.

322
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:07,669
I got a delivery here for the producers.

323
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,880
"Top Secret Storylines"?

324
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:11,715
Uh, I'll sign for it.

325
00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:16,386
Eh, might as well have a little peek...

326
00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:23,602
Hmm... Hmm! Looks like my character

327
00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:25,813
gets back together
with that evil Contessa.

328
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:27,731
- The one with the amulet?
- Precisely.

329
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:29,942
Then I get in a skydiving accident

330
00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:32,820
and have to be rushed to the... graveyard?

331
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:35,072
They're killing off Dr. Tad Winslow!

332
00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:36,698
What? Let me see that.

333
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,534
"Interior coroner's office.

334
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:40,786
Close-up on Dr. Winslow's mangled corpse.

335
00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:43,205
Let's get
that brain out and weighed

336
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:44,706
and call it a day."

337
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,834
Yep. That does sound kind of bad.

338
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:49,211
Well, if they're going
to stomp on my dreams,

339
00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:52,923
the least I can do is go out
in a blaze of sour grapes.

340
00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:55,968
I never used to trust you, Contessa,

341
00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:58,262
but now you seem so nice.

342
00:18:58,345 --> 00:19:01,807
Why don't we celebrate
your newfound trust in me

343
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:05,102
by taking a skydiving lesson?

344
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:07,813
Well, how could I say no
to such a captivating...

345
00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:10,566
- Ding dong.
- Whoa! It's the door!

346
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,530
Dr. Winslow.

347
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:18,031
Why, who are you?

348
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,950
I am an angel from the future.

349
00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:22,119
- Angel?
- What the fudge?

350
00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:25,247
- Should I cut him off?
- No. Let's see where this is going.

351
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:28,625
And what do you have to tell
us, oh, angel of the future?

352
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:32,838
You're going to die
in a skydiving accident.

353
00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:35,132
How tragic! Tell me more.

354
00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:38,510
Gabriella's baby shower
will be invaded by terrorists,

355
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:40,345
with sexy results.

356
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,931
Ooh, that's unexpected. What else?

357
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,559
Well, Sister Bernadette
will leave the convent

358
00:19:45,642 --> 00:19:46,977
and start a softball team,

359
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:48,854
with sexy results.

360
00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:50,772
What's Dad doing on the show?

361
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,025
Who cares? He's dishing out the dirt.

362
00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:57,863
And only then do we find out
that Professor Gallaway's half-sister

363
00:19:57,946 --> 00:20:01,366
is plotting to take over
International Perfume and Wine.

364
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:04,661
Ah! He just gave away
a year's worth of story lines!

365
00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:07,497
Cut him off... now.

366
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:10,918
- Yeah.
- Yes!

367
00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:12,628
What the hell are you doing?

368
00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:15,380
Sticking it to you
for killing off my character!

369
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:17,299
- Whoo!
- Yeah!

370
00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:21,011
You idiot! Dr. Winslow was
only going to die in a dream.

371
00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:23,972
- What?
- Pink pages always mean a dream.

372
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,058
I thought dreams was on goldenrod.

373
00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:28,352
No. Goldenrod is for coma fantasies.

374
00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:30,312
I see.

375
00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:34,316
So, uh... what time tomorrow?

376
00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:38,946
Escort these men out... now.

377
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:42,074
Get your hands off me. Get off!

378
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:44,243
I don't need your stinking show, anyway.

379
00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:48,997
With a mug like this,
I can get on any soap in Springfield.

380
00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,258
Oh! Oh, my face!

381
00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:00,926
I'm not supposed to put weight on it!

382
00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:07,307
What? What?

383
00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:13,397
- Sorry about your face, Moe.
- Nah, it's just as well.

384
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,608
That handsome face was nice,
but it was too much maintenance.

385
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:19,278
I had to wash it,
rub it with Neat's foot oil.

386
00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:20,946
You did me a favor, Homer.

387
00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:23,490
And to think I was about
to sell the bar to hooters.

388
00:21:23,573 --> 00:21:25,075
Yeah. You were... D'oh!

389
00:21:25,158 --> 00:21:26,660
Well, I guess that wraps it up.

390
00:21:26,743 --> 00:21:28,304
Hey, there's one thing
I don't get, though.

391
00:21:28,328 --> 00:21:29,871
When my face was crushed,

392
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,707
why'd it go back to my old face?

393
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:34,209
I mean, shouldn't it have turned into some
kind of third face

394
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:35,335
that was different?

395
00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:36,461
It don't make no...

396
00:22:23,216 --> 00:22:24,551
Oh, yeah!

397
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:29,014
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