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ELECTION DAY 2008

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by Staubsauger
- visit www.tv4user.de -

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*

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I STILL LIKE IKE

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OFFICIAL POLLING PLACE

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Hello, I'd like to vote
for president, governor,

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and anything that will take money
away from our parks and libraries.

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Eh, use machine number three.

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Oh! I can't fit in the booth!

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Use the double-wide.

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Ooh! One of those
electronic voting dealies.

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One vote for McCain. Thank you.

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No, I want to vote for Obama.

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Two votes for McCain.

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Come on. It's time for a change!

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Three votes for McCain.

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No! No! No!

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Six votes for President McCain.

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Hey, I only meant one of
those votes for McCain.

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This machine is rigged.

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Must... tell.. President McCain.

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This doesn't happen
in America! Maybe Ohio!

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But not in America!

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I VOTED

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TREEHOUSE OF HORROR
PART 19

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UNTITLED ROBOT PARODY

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Okay, all I need is a
Christmas gift for Lisa.

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YOU FORGOT-ME-NOTS
THE LAST-MINUTE GIFT STORE

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I don't have time to read all that.

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Montreal Expos jersey. Somber String.
Jacks, no ball.

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And a Slunky ...
"IT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING"

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Oh, I wouldn't give these
to my worst enemy, ...

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... which happens to be Lisa.

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Girls don't like trucks! Come
back when you're something else!

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Perfect!

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Merry Christmas, Dad. We bought
you three more minutes of oxygen.

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Oh, thank you, son! Can I play
with it outside? Can I?! Can I?!

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Sure.

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Hey, Lis, I think I see
one with your name on it.

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I don't know how you could top last
year's gift: a box of your burps.

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Yeah. Here's your stocking stuffer.

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Wow! A Malibu Stacey convertible!

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Oh, Bart, an actual present.

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That's right, Maggie.
It's a car.

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Let's go to the ...

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Pos-i-bots, transform!

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Snooze!

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Threeway!

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Melody!

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What?

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Wait a minute. We're missing Sex-Toy.

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Where have you been?

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Where haven't I been?

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CHRISTMAS OCCURS

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Hmm. Is there something
different about the kitchen?

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No! No! No!

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NO.

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Well, the toaster's
never lied to me before.

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Nice planet.

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Pos-i-bot, engage.

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Battle commencing in
ten, nine, eight ...

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Hey!

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Hey, Homer.
How was your Christmas?

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It was okay.
I got Seinfeld, Season 7.

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Finally a boxing day
that lives up to its name.

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Lisa! What's happening?!

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Well, if I had to guess, I'd
say that two alien robot races,

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who've been battling for centuries,

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... have chosen our planet as a site
for their ultimate confrontation.

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It is a good planet to settle things on.

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Stop it! Stop it! Look, you
have made the nacho machine cry.

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Cool!

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Carnage Destructicus, the moment
has arrived: our final battle.

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Your final battle, Bestimus Mucho!

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Just because you're mad at each other,
doesn't mean you have to destroy our town.

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That does not compute.

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Really?!

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It computes a little.

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What's this whole
intergalactic tiff about anyway?

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You know I, I...
I don't remember.

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Neither do I.

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Hmm. Maybe the
non-transforma thing is right.

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Thank you, human
grandmother, for pointing out

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that it is futile to fight
if we do not know why.

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And now that we are
not fighting each other,

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we can team up to enslave your planet.

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That's great! Because working
together, you can ... Oh ...

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Okay, who's the idiot who
taught them what foosball was?

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I thought they might enjoy it.

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HOW TO GET AHEAD IN DEAD-VERTISING

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CRAZY ETHEL'S DAY CARE CENTER
where your child learns to trust strangers

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Okay, Maggie, we'll
be back in three hours.

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Or longer if something
happens to us.

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Maybe we shouldn't do this.
She doesn't know anyone here.

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Look, sweetie, there's
a familiar face: Krusty!

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Hey, hey, kids! Your old pal Krusty's
gonna teach you five new words:

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Unlicensed use of my image.

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All right, boys. See those
Krustys nobody paid me for?

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Sandblast them!

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Entertain the troops? No way!
What have they ever done for me?!

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Krusty, you made my daughter cry!

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Hey, my intellectual property
rights were being infringed.

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Do you know how that feels?
Do ya?! Huh?! Do ya?!

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One, two, three.
One, two, three.

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Oh! It's no use.

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Mr. Simpson, you have quite a
talent for killing celebrities.

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Well ... I'm no drunk driving.

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I'd like to introduce you
to some stereotypical ad men.

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Simpson, we got a swell
little notion for you.

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Did you know you can
put a dead celebrity

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in a commercial and you don't
have to pay them a thing?

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Oh, my God, you finally did it.

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You mixed Buzz Cola with the
smooth, rich taste of lemon.

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Unfortunately, there are certain
stars who won't do what we want.

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What's their problem?

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They're still alive.

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And then we thought ...
"Who's good at killing celebrities?"

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Me!

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That's right.

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Homer, would you be willing
to acquire some more, um ...

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... uh, accounts for us?

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Well, you know,
it is awfully hot today.

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Now I'm too cold.

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QUICKSAND
EXTRA DEEP

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NATIONAL AIR & SPACE MUSEUM
SALUTES NEIL AMSTRONG

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GEORGE CLOONEY -BRAND-
NOVELITY VOMIT
(Now with extra Chunks)

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PRINCE'S CHOICE
DROUGHT RESISTANT- GRASS SEED

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COUNTRY-STYLE RAGU
IT'LL SEND YOU TO MARS

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We can't just sit here while
they exploit our images!

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Hey, John Wayne, have you heard about
stockswapper.org's low, low transaction fees?

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Sounds ... like ... quite ... a ... deal ... pilgrim!
I hate ... trans ... action ... fees!

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Hey, George Washington, see
if you think this is funny!

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It's the Springfield Wedding Chapel's
annual President's Day marriage-a-thon!!

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That ad implies that Mr. Lincoln
and I are... betraying familiarities!

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It's an outrage!

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Yes, uh, an outrage ...

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So, are we gonna sit
here flapping our jaws,

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... or are we gonna
do something about it?

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Now wait just a gosh-darn minute here!

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We can't go taking the
law into our own hands.

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These are people with hopes
and dreams and-and, uh ...

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Put a sock in it, mushmouth!

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REGULAR HEAVEN
CELEBRITY HEAVEN

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All we are saying is
"Let's eat some brains"!

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- Great party, Homer!
- Murdering Kate

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Winslet paid for that
chocolate fountain.

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G- g-golda Meir!

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Ah, you ripped me off. See?

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No, I didn't. See!

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You're gonna pay for what you done. See!

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I always thought I'd
die of hepatitis ... C.

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Rip Taylor? You're not even dead!

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Someone needs to check my apartment.

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Let's get him!

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Little Sister, is that
moustache comin' or goin'?

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Well, your wife likes it.

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You're all right, Goofy Grape.

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People, please.
We're here to kill this jerk.

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Before you kill me, I gotta know ...
what is the one true religion?

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It's a mix of voodoo and Methodist.

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Shouldn't have left the
key under the mat, suckers!

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So what do you do for fun around here?

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Well, tonight we've got a poker
tournament at the rec center.

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Ooh! After you, Mr. Pennyface.

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Is your wife up here?

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Well, uh, we have an understanding ...

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IT'S THE GREAT PUPKIN, MILHOUSE

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Good grief.

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I like your witch costume, Lisa.

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I'm not a witch.
I'm a Wiccan.

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Why is it when a woman is confident
and powerful, they call her a witch?

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- What did you say, Mom?
- Nothing. I'm practicing my trombone.

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So, what are you wearing to
the Halloween party, Milhouse?

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I'm not going to the party. I'm going
to the pumpkin patch to wait for ...

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... the Grand Pumpkin!

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That means you kids have fun!

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What's the Grand Pumpkin?

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Every Halloween, the Grand Pumpkin visits
all the pumpkin patches in the world

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and brings candy to
kids who truly believe!

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Milhouse, for the last time, I
made that up to mess with you.

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The Grand Pumpkin isn't real!

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I appreciate you testing my faith,
Bart, but it's not necessary.

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I believe in the Grand
Pumpkin, almighty gourd,

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who was crustified over Pontius
Pie-plate, and ascended into oven.

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He will come again to judge
the filling and the bread ...

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Sigh.

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You've all come to wait for
the Grand Pumpkin with me!

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Who wants to sing pumpkin carols?

189
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I've got a pumpkin carol for you!

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<i>You are such a stupid moron!
It makes people want to punch you!</i>

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<i>The Grand Pumpkin's superga-ay!
Punch, punch, punch, punch, wedgie!</i>

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Your god is wrong!

193
00:16:01,165 --> 00:16:02,558
Let's get to the Halloween party.

194
00:16:02,559 --> 00:16:05,443
I want to hit the apple tank before
all the Granny Smiths are bobbed out.

195
00:16:05,444 --> 00:16:06,491
Lis, you comin'?

196
00:16:06,492 --> 00:16:11,104
Eh, I think I'll stay with Milhouse.
His glasses fog up when he cries.

197
00:16:11,105 --> 00:16:14,420
More Granny Smiths for me.

198
00:16:20,487 --> 00:16:22,850
Lisa, Lisa, wake up!
He's here!

199
00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:25,369
What?
Your Grand Pumpkin is here?!

200
00:16:25,370 --> 00:16:28,400
No. I'm rehearsing what I'm
gonna say when he shows up.

201
00:16:28,401 --> 00:16:31,521
He's here! He's here! He is here!

202
00:16:34,669 --> 00:16:37,399
You owe me restitution!

203
00:16:37,559 --> 00:16:43,223
If he sees us fighting,
he might not come.

204
00:16:43,224 --> 00:16:49,854
Grand Pumpkin, I know you're real.
Why won't you show yourself?! Why?

205
00:17:00,818 --> 00:17:02,676
Happy Halloween!

206
00:17:03,288 --> 00:17:07,645
The Grand Pumpkin!
You are real!

207
00:17:08,047 --> 00:17:13,572
That's right, Milhouse. Your childlike
belief has brought me to life!

208
00:17:13,970 --> 00:17:18,963
I knew you'd come! I even baked you
a loaf of homemade pumpkin bread!

209
00:17:18,964 --> 00:17:23,904
Oh, how delightful-- bread
made especially for pumpkins.

210
00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:30,005
Actually, it's made from pumpkins.

211
00:17:34,756 --> 00:17:37,061
Revenge!

212
00:17:42,457 --> 00:17:45,508
I'm gonna give you crossed eyes
like you might see on an idiot,

213
00:17:45,509 --> 00:17:52,609
a stupid triangle nose and a big mouth full of
the ugliest shaped teeth there are ... square.

214
00:17:53,010 --> 00:17:57,105
And I'm gonna make your friends watch.

215
00:18:00,075 --> 00:18:02,637
Noooo!!!

216
00:18:06,038 --> 00:18:09,043
Ladies. Stupid ...

217
00:18:20,376 --> 00:18:23,762
Everybody, listen!
The Grand Pumpkin is real!

218
00:18:23,763 --> 00:18:27,403
Hey! No hard-soled shoes!

219
00:18:29,823 --> 00:18:34,978
Oh, God! Everywhere I
look-- pumpkin atrocities!!

220
00:18:29,730 --> 00:18:37,541
Care for a pumpkin seed?

221
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You roast the unborn?

222
00:18:45,843 --> 00:18:47,790
Touch me and I'll cut your friend!

223
00:18:47,791 --> 00:18:51,352
What do I care?
That's a yellow pumpkin.

224
00:18:51,353 --> 00:18:52,978
You're a racist!

225
00:18:53,012 --> 00:18:58,407
All pumpkins are racist.
The difference is I admit it!

226
00:18:58,542 --> 00:18:59,939
I'd rather die than hate!

227
00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:01,610
This is all my fault!

228
00:19:01,611 --> 00:19:06,022
The Grand Pumpkin said my childlike
belief was what made him come to life!

229
00:19:06,023 --> 00:19:07,210
Belief, eh?

230
00:19:09,187 --> 00:19:13,480
Say, Milhouse, have you by any
chance ever heard of "Tom Turkey"?

231
00:19:13,481 --> 00:19:15,836
No. Who is he and
what's his origin story?

232
00:19:15,837 --> 00:19:19,453
Um ... well, Tom is a magical
turkey who gave the pilgrims

233
00:19:19,454 --> 00:19:22,241
the technology to put
buckles on their hats.

234
00:19:22,242 --> 00:19:25,765
Now he appears every Thanksgiving
to children who believe.

235
00:19:25,766 --> 00:19:27,260
Sounds plausible.

236
00:19:27,261 --> 00:19:30,813
Tom Turkey, help me.
I believe in you.

237
00:19:31,489 --> 00:19:35,974
Are you looking for a particular
part of my brain or ...

238
00:19:37,013 --> 00:19:43,906
Halt, yon pumperkin most succulent
and plump! I be Tom Turkey!

239
00:19:44,404 --> 00:19:48,460
A giant talking turkey?
Preposterous!

240
00:19:48,868 --> 00:19:56,343
Prepare for the Almighty's judgement,
thou stinking fruit of rotted vine!

241
00:19:58,546 --> 00:20:01,203
Pumpkin segregation forever!

242
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I can't live on the outside.
I can't!

243
00:20:12,046 --> 00:20:15,425
Milhouse, your childlike
innocence saved us all!

244
00:20:15,426 --> 00:20:17,038
Tom, how can we repay you?

245
00:20:17,039 --> 00:20:19,293
How about a Thanksgiving feast?

246
00:20:19,294 --> 00:20:21,587
You can carve the turkey.

247
00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:23,500
You eat turkeys?!

248
00:20:23,989 --> 00:20:26,134
Oh, yeah.
It's delicious!

249
00:20:26,186 --> 00:20:29,706
Especially when we take stuffing
and shove it up the turkey's ...

250
00:20:29,707 --> 00:20:31,971
Revenge!!!!

251
00:20:37,518 --> 00:20:41,049
Looks like those kids found
the true spirit of Halloween.

252
00:20:41,050 --> 00:20:43,966
Or Thanksgiving. Or whatever.

253
00:20:43,967 --> 00:20:48,459
And for those of you who feel like we've
trampled on a beloved children's classic,

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I encourage you to write
to the following address.

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00:20:52,689 --> 00:20:54,734
Happy Holidays, everyone!

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00:20:55,735 --> 00:21:01,734
by Staubsauger
- visit www.tv4user.de -

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*