1 00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:05,755 The Simpsons. 2 00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:23,666 It's the... 3 00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:30,256 Hey, hey, it's great to be back at the Apollo Theater and... 4 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,258 K-K-K? 5 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:36,096 That's not good. 6 00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:47,232 Ow! Now I'd like to introduce a new feature 7 00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:48,900 never before seen on TV. 8 00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,652 Dumb pet tricks. 9 00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:53,488 Oh, boy. 10 00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:54,906 Here's a dog that's been trained 11 00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:56,491 to catch this red rubber ball. 12 00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,683 Somebody shoot it! Somebody shoot it! 13 00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:02,038 These specials get worse every year. 14 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,248 I'll see what else is on. 15 00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:04,791 Hey, where's the remote? 16 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,253 Hello? Hello? 17 00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,338 Stupid cordless phone! 18 00:02:10,421 --> 00:02:12,924 I'll try the old-fashioned model. 19 00:02:13,007 --> 00:02:14,843 Ah, that's better. 20 00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:17,303 How you doing, Gertie? 21 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:20,265 And now our parody of "Mad About You" 22 00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:23,143 entitled "Mad About Shoe." 23 00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:24,936 Give me a kiss, baby. 24 00:02:25,019 --> 00:02:26,146 No tongue. 25 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:31,109 Oh, you're not going to like 26 00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:33,736 our "NYPD Shoe" sketch. 27 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,155 It's pretty much the same thing. 28 00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:37,157 Ma, could you get me some milk? 29 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,366 Can't you get it yourself? 30 00:02:38,449 --> 00:02:39,701 Oh, that's okay. 31 00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:41,995 I'll just go without liquid. 32 00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:46,291 Oh, all right, all right. 33 00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:47,959 - I'll get your milk. - Thank you. 34 00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:50,461 Does anyone else want anything while I'm up? 35 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:51,963 No! 36 00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:55,341 Marge, get me a beer. 37 00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,093 - Oh... - Uh, Mom? 38 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,219 What? 39 00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:00,889 Um, there's a hair in my soup. 40 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:01,991 But I'll just eat around it. 41 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,349 What kind of hair? 42 00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,143 Well, it's blue. 43 00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:06,269 Six feet long... 44 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,272 It's my hair. 45 00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:11,649 Excuse me. 46 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,863 Your mother seems really upset about something. 47 00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:19,073 I'd better go have a talk with her... 48 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,742 during the commercial. 49 00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:23,119 Now let's hear it for a great American. 50 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,788 Former president Gerald Ford. 51 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,082 Thank you, Krusty, for inviting me. 52 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,919 Well, all the good presidents turned us down. 53 00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,963 Oh, well, I'd like to talk about a subject 54 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,507 that is very important to me. 55 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:40,053 The Boy Scouts of America have molded men 56 00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:43,765 for over 100 years... What are you... 57 00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:45,934 Uh... um... how's your wife, Nancy? 58 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:47,977 - Betty. - Who cares? 59 00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:50,730 Oh, Marge... 60 00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:53,816 I just had a couple of beers. 61 00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:58,112 Give me a head with hair. 62 00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:00,198 Long, beautiful hair. 63 00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:04,202 Shinin', gleamin', streamin', flaxen, waxen. 64 00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:06,246 - Give me down to there. - Hair. 65 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,915 - Shoulder-length, longer. - Hair. 66 00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:10,750 Here, baby... there, Mama. 67 00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:12,877 Everywhere, Daddy, Daddy. 68 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:17,048 Hair... 69 00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:22,095 Marge, I was just watching women's volleyball on ESPN. 70 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,431 Come on. 71 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,934 There's no need for that baba-ma-bushka. 72 00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:30,228 All right, but don't be shocked. 73 00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:32,647 Oh, there's no way I could... 74 00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:37,151 Homie, I'm losing my hair. 75 00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,445 Now, sweetie, don't worry about a thing. 76 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:42,156 I'll teach you to comb it over so no one can tell. 77 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,408 Just like my hair. 78 00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:52,375 Mrs. Simpson, there's no physical reason 79 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,877 why your hair should be falling out. 80 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,129 This thing has me buffaloed. 81 00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,591 Phone call, Mrs. Simpson. Lines one and two. 82 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:03,177 Ma, I need a glass of milk. 83 00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:04,262 Me too. 84 00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:09,058 I think the problem may be stress. 85 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,729 I was just with Dr. Hibbert. 86 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,731 He said I was under a lot of stress 87 00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,524 and should get some help. 88 00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:19,694 Marge, whatever it takes to make you well, we'll do it. 89 00:05:19,777 --> 00:05:23,865 Well, I was thinking we could hire a nanny to help me out. 90 00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:27,285 - A nanny? - But how am I supposed to pay for that? 91 00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:28,745 We'll find a way. 92 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:30,705 Mom has made so many sacrifices for us 93 00:05:30,788 --> 00:05:32,790 it's time we gave up something for her. 94 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,917 I'll stop buying Malibu Stacie clothing. 95 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,295 And I'll take up smoking and give that up. 96 00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:38,921 Good for you, son. 97 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,090 Giving up smoking is one of the hardest things 98 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,759 you'll ever have to do. 99 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,135 Have a dollar. 100 00:05:44,218 --> 00:05:45,720 But he didn't do anything. 101 00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:48,639 Didn't he, Lisa? Didn't he? 102 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:51,017 Hey, wait a minute. He didn't! 103 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,603 Homie, please. I never ask for much, 104 00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:55,897 but this is something I really need. 105 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:57,398 All right, Marge. 106 00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,734 I'll get you your nanny. And to pay for it, 107 00:05:59,817 --> 00:06:03,529 I'll give up the civil war re-creation society I love so much. 108 00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:08,242 Well, Homer's out. We got to find a new General Ambrose Burnside. 109 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:11,037 And I'm not too crazy about our Stonewall Jackson. 110 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,539 The South shall come again. 111 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,960 Hello. I'm Mrs. Pennyfeather. 112 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,838 I understand you're looking for a nanny. 113 00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:23,841 - Pleased to meet you. - Wait a minute, Marge. 114 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,635 I saw "Mrs. Doubtfire." 115 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:27,887 This is a man in drag! 116 00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,430 You're phony. 117 00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:32,517 Fakey phoney broad! Gimme those! 118 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,685 Homer, if you're going to do this to every applicant, 119 00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:35,978 we're never going to find one. 120 00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,480 Sorry. 121 00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:38,898 Hello. I'm Mrs. Periwinkle. 122 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,276 I'm here about the nanny job. 123 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,195 I'll keep a watchful eye on your kids, 124 00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:46,823 and if they get out of line... pow! 125 00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,366 I like him. 126 00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:49,885 Thanks. Where do you keep the liquor? 127 00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:51,678 I hide a bottle of schnapps in the baby's crib. 128 00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:53,246 I'm sorry, young man. 129 00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,747 You're not what we're looking for. 130 00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,431 You're telling me, you blue-haired witch. 131 00:06:56,457 --> 00:06:57,792 I heard that! 132 00:06:57,875 --> 00:07:01,921 I guess we're not going to find anyone. 133 00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:03,565 We have our own suggestions for the new nanny. 134 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:04,841 Would you like to hear them? 135 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:08,136 You have my undivided attention. 136 00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:20,106 Well, I'd like to hear your suggestions. 137 00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:22,692 Maestro, if you please. 138 00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:31,451 If you wish to be our sitter. 139 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:35,246 Please be sweet and never bitter. 140 00:07:35,329 --> 00:07:39,208 Help us with math and book reports. 141 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:43,087 Might I add... Eat my shorts. 142 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,298 - Bart! - Just cuttin' through the treacle. 143 00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:49,844 If Maggie's fussy, don't avoid her. 144 00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:53,598 Let me get away with moider. 145 00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:57,477 Teach us songs and magic tricks. 146 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:01,355 Might I add... No fat chicks. 147 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,483 Homer! 148 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:07,528 The nanny we want is kindly and sage. 149 00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:13,034 And one who will work for minimum wage. 150 00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:18,122 Hurry, nanny, things are grim 151 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,457 I'll do it! 152 00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:23,461 Anyone but him. 153 00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:26,339 Well, that's nice, kids, 154 00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:27,924 but I don't know where 155 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,718 we're going to find anyone like that. 156 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:41,312 Whoo-whoo-whoo! 157 00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:53,157 Hello. I'm Shary Bobbins. 158 00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,617 Did you say Mary Pop... 159 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,077 No, I definitely did not. 160 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,246 I'm an original creation like Rickey Rouse 161 00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,622 and Monald Muck. 162 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,290 Now, as your nanny, 163 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,626 I'll do everything from telling stories 164 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:05,044 to changing diapers. 165 00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:07,046 Put me down for one of each. 166 00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:13,302 Now, Miss Bobbins, if you want this job, 167 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,513 you're going to have to answer a few questions. 168 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:17,223 First, do you have any bad habits? 169 00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:20,226 No. I'm practically perfect in every way. 170 00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:22,520 Well, so am I. 171 00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:29,277 Okay. Question two. 172 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:30,987 Who was your last employer? 173 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,155 Lord and Lady Huffington of Sussex. 174 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,283 Marge, do we know them? 175 00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:37,994 - No. - Come on. Isn't he the guy I bowl with? 176 00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:39,870 - The black guy? - That's Carl. 177 00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:43,124 Oh, yeah! So you worked for Carl, eh? 178 00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:45,334 I have a question. Pop quiz, hotshot. 179 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,378 I'm supposed to be doing my homework, 180 00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:49,839 but you find me upstairs reading a Playdude. 181 00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:53,884 What do you do? What do you do? 182 00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:56,470 I make you read every article in that magazine, 183 00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,806 including Norman Mailer's latest claptrap 184 00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:00,558 about his waning libido. 185 00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:03,144 Ooh. She is tough. 186 00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:05,938 Shary Bobbins, you're just what we're looking for. 187 00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:08,107 Very well. Come along, children. 188 00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:20,119 My, she seems too good to be true. 189 00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:22,413 I'll say. Her butt waxed the bannister. 190 00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:25,166 Ooh! I can see myself. 191 00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:26,834 All right, children. 192 00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,044 Let's clean up this room. 193 00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,920 - Oh, man! - Do we have to? 194 00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,839 Now, now. I know a little secret 195 00:10:31,922 --> 00:10:34,008 that will make the job go twice as fast. 196 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,928 If there's a task that must be done. 197 00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:40,222 Don't turn your tail and run. 198 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,391 Don't pout, don't sob. 199 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:47,438 Just do a half-assed job. 200 00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:51,150 If... you... 201 00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:56,030 Cut every corner, it is really not so bad. 202 00:10:56,113 --> 00:11:00,034 Everybody does it, even Mom and Dad. 203 00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:06,332 If nobody sees it, then nobody gets mad. 204 00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:10,461 It's the American way. 205 00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:30,064 The policeman on the beat. 206 00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:32,817 Needs some time to rest his feet. 207 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:36,654 Fighting crime is not my cup of tea. 208 00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:39,448 And the clerk who runs the store. 209 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,450 Can charge a little more. 210 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,662 - For meat. - For meat. 211 00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:48,040 - And milk. - And milk. 212 00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:54,755 - From 1984 - From 1984. 213 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:58,426 If... you... 214 00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:02,888 Cut every corner, you'll have more time for play. 215 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:08,102 It's the American way. 216 00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,864 Hi-diddly-ho, Shary Bobbins. 217 00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:21,949 Yo, Shary Bobbins. 218 00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:25,369 I picked you some posies, Shary Bobbins. 219 00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,663 Oh, thank you, Nelson. 220 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,081 Aw, jeez. 221 00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:35,337 I'm a maniac. 222 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,715 Maniac, that's for sure. 223 00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:41,844 And I'm dancing like I've never danced before. 224 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,554 Aye. 225 00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:45,306 That's the stuff. 226 00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:50,352 Yeah. Thank you, you ungrateful bast... 227 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:52,229 Shary Bobbins! Is that you? 228 00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:54,106 - Hello, Willie. - You know her? 229 00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:56,442 Aye. Shary Bobbins and I 230 00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:58,778 were engaged to be wed back in the old country. 231 00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,155 Then she got her eyesight back. 232 00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:02,990 Suddenly the ugliest man in Glasgow 233 00:13:03,073 --> 00:13:04,700 wasn't good enough for her. 234 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,619 It's good to see you, Willie. 235 00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:09,538 That's not what you said the first time you saw me! 236 00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:13,793 Extra! Extra! 237 00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:16,170 Ripper strikes in White Chapel! 238 00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:21,842 Boy for sale! Boy for sale! 239 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,011 Is this legal, man? 240 00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:26,180 Only here and in Mississippi. 241 00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:31,393 Oh, Shary Bobbins, this is ever so much fun. 242 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:34,021 With you, every day is Guy Fawkes day! 243 00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:37,817 Bah, humbug. 244 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,693 Oh, Mr. Burns, I think you'll find 245 00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,821 all life's problems just float away 246 00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:43,739 when you're flying a kite. 247 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,991 Balderdash. This is the silliest load of... 248 00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:48,202 Ooh! Look at it fly! 249 00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:50,454 Whee! Look at me, Smithers! 250 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:54,166 I feel practically superduperfragicalicexpiala... 251 00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:58,879 Ooh. What's this strange sensation in my chest? 252 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,631 I think your heart's beating again. 253 00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,800 Ooh. That takes me back. 254 00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:05,052 God bless you, Shary Bobbins. 255 00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:08,597 That Shary Bobbins is a miracle worker! 256 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,433 The kids love her, the house is spotless, 257 00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,477 and my hair's grown back! 258 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:16,897 It's so full and thick, it can support a beach umbrella. 259 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:19,650 Come to bed, Marge. 260 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,113 No, no. Leave it in. 261 00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:26,657 He-he-he-he! 262 00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:29,845 It's 8:00, children. Time for bed. 263 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,120 But we're not sleepy. 264 00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:33,163 Sing us a song, Shary Bobbins. 265 00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,623 Yes, sing us a song! 266 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,417 I've been singing you songs all day. 267 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:37,751 I'm not a bloody jukebox! 268 00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:40,880 Oh, all right. 269 00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:52,016 In front of a tavern. 270 00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:55,603 Flat on his face. 271 00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:59,398 A boozehound named Barney. 272 00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:04,778 Is pleading his case. 273 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,867 Buy me a beer. 274 00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:13,621 Two bucks a glass. 275 00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:16,790 Come on, help me 276 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:20,836 I'm freezing my ass. 277 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,547 Buy me brandy. 278 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:28,010 A snifter of wine. 279 00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:31,847 Who am I kidding? 280 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:37,478 I'll drink turpentine. 281 00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:41,106 Move it, ya drunk. 282 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:45,319 Or I'll blast your rear end 283 00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:48,489 I found two bucks. 284 00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:53,035 Then come in, my friend. 285 00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:59,416 And so, let us leave. 286 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:04,046 On this heartwarming scene. 287 00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:09,760 Can I be a boozehound? 288 00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:16,600 Not till you're 15. 289 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,233 - More kippers, mum? - Oh, thank you. 290 00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,694 Ooh, I can't get enough of this blood pudding. 291 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:29,196 The secret ingredient is blood. 292 00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:31,156 Blood?! Ugh! 293 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,784 I'll just stick to the brain and kidney pie, thank you. 294 00:16:33,867 --> 00:16:35,619 I believe my work here is done. 295 00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:37,788 Thank you for everything. 296 00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:40,040 We'll miss you, Shary Bobbins. 297 00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:41,834 You've changed me as well. 298 00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:45,796 I'm no longer the money-driven workaholic I once was. 299 00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:47,256 I love you all. 300 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:55,222 Oh! To think I'll never hear those sweet voices again. 301 00:16:55,305 --> 00:16:57,725 Aw, you... you... 302 00:16:57,808 --> 00:17:00,644 You little... 303 00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:14,241 Oh. I'll just unpack my things. 304 00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:18,871 I think we got our umbrellas switched! 305 00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:22,291 Whee! I never felt so alive! 306 00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:31,300 Little more... 307 00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,427 Little more... 308 00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:36,013 Little more... 309 00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:39,183 Too much. Take it back. 310 00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:42,352 Welcome back to "Before They Were Famous." 311 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,271 We all know Rainier Wolfcastle 312 00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:46,273 as the star of the blockbuster "McBain" movies 313 00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:47,733 but here's his first appearance 314 00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:50,110 in a commercial in his native Austria. 315 00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:52,154 Mein Bratwurst has a first name. 316 00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,281 It's F-R-I-T-Z. 317 00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:56,742 Mein bratwurst has a second name. 318 00:17:56,825 --> 00:18:03,082 It's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N- P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N... 319 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,834 Shary Bobbins! I want another beer. 320 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,212 Well, you know, Homer... 321 00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:10,839 If there's a job that must be done. 322 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,966 You'll find it's much more fun... 323 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:17,721 You'll find it's even more fun if you get it for me. 324 00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:20,182 But the beer will taste more sweet. 325 00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:22,142 If you get up off your seat. 326 00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:24,645 Lady, the man asked for a beer, not a song. 327 00:18:24,728 --> 00:18:26,980 Do-re-mi-fa-so... 328 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:29,501 Now, let's take a look at a young Charles Bronson's brief stint 329 00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:32,486 replacing Andy Griffith in "The Andy Griffith Show." 330 00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:34,863 Where's Otis? He's not in his cell. 331 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,032 - I shot him. - Well, that's... What? 332 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,409 Now I'm going down to Emmett's Fix-It Shop... 333 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:40,661 to fix Emmett. 334 00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:53,340 Bart Simpson, this room is a frightful mess. 335 00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:55,217 I'll get right on it. 336 00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:56,677 Bart, don't you remember? 337 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,220 Cleaning up can be a game. 338 00:18:58,303 --> 00:18:59,555 I got a better game. 339 00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,348 It's called "whipping cupcakes." 340 00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:07,354 The Itchy and Scratchy Show! 341 00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:14,736 Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you. 342 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:19,074 And I'm wonderin' what it is I should do... 343 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:23,453 It's so hard to keep the smile from my face. 344 00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:28,000 What I'm trying to say in this cartoon 345 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:29,727 is that violence is everywhere in our society, you know. 346 00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:31,431 It's, like, even in breakfast cereals, man. 347 00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:43,599 Lisa, don't sit in front of that telly like a fly stuck on a toffee. 348 00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:46,101 It's a great big world out there. 349 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,520 - Been there, done it. - I know! 350 00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:50,480 We could have a tea party on the ceiling. 351 00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:51,732 Shh. TV. 352 00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:54,776 Oh, you people will be the death of me. 353 00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:02,534 Wasted away again in Margaritaville... 354 00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:06,246 Searching for my lost shaker of salt... 355 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:08,624 Oh, here it is. 356 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,961 Aw, that poor woman. 357 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,755 We've crushed her gentle spirit. 358 00:20:14,838 --> 00:20:18,467 You people should be ashamed of yourselves. 359 00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:23,222 Shary, you did the best you could 360 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,224 but you can't change this family 361 00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:26,975 and neither can I. 362 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:31,146 From now on, I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the ride. 363 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,106 But haven't I taught you people anything? 364 00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:34,107 - Nope. - No. 365 00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:35,776 - Nope. - No. 366 00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:39,154 - So you like it this way? - Indubitably! 367 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,448 Around the house 368 00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:43,992 I never lift a finger. 369 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:48,288 As a husband and father, I'm sub-par 370 00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:50,123 I'd rather drink a beer. 371 00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:52,251 Than win father of the year 372 00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:56,046 I'm happy with things the way they are 373 00:20:56,129 --> 00:20:59,925 I'm getting used to never getting noticed 374 00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:03,720 I'm stuck here till I can steal a car. 375 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:05,722 The house is still a mess. 376 00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:07,683 And I'm going bald from stress. 377 00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:11,645 But we're happy just the way we are! 378 00:21:15,565 --> 00:21:17,192 They're not perfect. 379 00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:19,111 But the Lord says "love thy neighbor". 380 00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:20,362 Shut up, Flanders. 381 00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:23,073 Okely-dokely-do. 382 00:21:23,156 --> 00:21:25,033 Don't think it's sour grapes. 383 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,119 But you're all a bunch of apes. 384 00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:32,082 And so I must be leaving you. 385 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,091 Good-bye, Shary Bobbins! 386 00:21:41,174 --> 00:21:43,051 Thanks for everything. 387 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,720 So long, Superman. 388 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,097 Do you think we'll ever see her again? 389 00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:49,850 I'm sure we will, honey. 390 00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:52,269 I'm sure we will. 391 00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:47,032 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.