1 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,309 (humming) 2 00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:10,677 (explosion) 3 00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:14,014 Oh, my hallway‐walking God! 4 00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:16,416 I've seen my fair share of workplace atrocities, 5 00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:18,952 but this one's gonna be hard not to whistle‐blow. 6 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,854 Uh, Carlson, how about you forget 7 00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:23,991 any unkillable irradiated airborne entities 8 00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:25,592 you think you saw 9 00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:28,128 and sign this nondisclosure agreement? 10 00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:31,965 I'm sorry, I have no choice but to speak up and say... 11 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,800 what's in it for me? 12 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,203 Guess who just got two VIP concert tickets 13 00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:38,338 to see Bob Seger tonight! 14 00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:39,873 Bob Seger! 15 00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,875 Which Bullet Band is he bringing? 16 00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:43,143 Silver! 17 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:46,280 In that case, I'm closin' shop early. 18 00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:48,949 (humming) 19 00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:52,185 Marge, you know how nothing ever happens to me? 20 00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:55,222 Well, the curse has been lifted! 21 00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,558 Oh. I love how excited you are 22 00:00:57,624 --> 00:01:00,060 to chaperone the kids' weekend sleepover 23 00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:02,262 on the World War II battleship. 24 00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:04,164 What?! Chaperoning? 25 00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,967 You can't just spring this on me at the last... 26 00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:10,804 (yelping) 27 00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,306 D'oh! 28 00:01:12,372 --> 00:01:14,508 Aw, you've got to fill in for me, Marge. 29 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:17,077 I'd do it for you if you were the husband. 30 00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:18,845 You always get to do the fun thing 31 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,581 and leave me holding the bag. 32 00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:22,625 I'll get you a new bag. A tote from the merch table. 33 00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,151 What size are you? 34 00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:29,089 No. I'm watching the Gen Gala red‐carpet arrivals tomorrow. 35 00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:31,625 Can't you just record it and watch it next week 36 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:34,328 when me and Lenny are at the Hall & Oates concert? 37 00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:36,863 Oh! I'm hosting the watch party. 38 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:41,335 I have firm commitments from several A‐level gays. 39 00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:42,869 We're all gonna make snarky comments 40 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,806 about celebrities' outrageous outfits. 41 00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:49,343 I'm working up the courage to use the B‐word on a man. 42 00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:51,311 Okay, honey, I give up. 43 00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:53,113 You host your party. I go to the concert. 44 00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:55,115 No field trip for the kids. 45 00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:57,284 It was your decision, so I'll let you tell them. 46 00:01:57,351 --> 00:01:59,286 ♪ Yo‐ho, yo‐ho ♪ 47 00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:01,989 ♪ A field trip life for me. ♪ 48 00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:06,493 (sighs) 49 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:07,828 (horn blares) 50 00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:09,262 - Whoa! - Whoa. 51 00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:10,764 Mommy! Mommy! 52 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:14,267 I took a bite of my juice box because I forgot! 53 00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:16,136 Ready about, sailors! 54 00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:18,672 Name's Captain Bowditch. 55 00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:21,008 For the next 36 hours, you will be my crew 56 00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:24,344 aboard the USS ship with a name we're not allowed to say anymore 57 00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:26,179 and with good reason. 58 00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:29,349 Now, the year is 1943. 59 00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:32,853 We sailors have fought many battles in the Pacific theater, 60 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:35,789 but today we face our most vicious enemy yet: 61 00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,424 oxidation. 62 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,925 (booing) 63 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,761 Kill those lousy Oxies! 64 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:44,665 Rust has overtaken the vessel, and I'm giving you three tools 65 00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:47,968 to neutralize the threat: wire brushes, marine paint, 66 00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:49,803 and the remainder of the weekend. 67 00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:51,171 (shouting excitedly) 68 00:02:51,238 --> 00:02:54,708 Chaperones, you will stand watch in six‐hour shifts. 69 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,543 Now, pair up! 70 00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,880 Can you imagine getting stuck with Sarah Wiggum 71 00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:01,148 for the whole weekend? 72 00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:03,784 What's she looking for, a personality? 73 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,819 (quiet laughter) 74 00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:09,589 So, I guess we should figure out some system to pair up, like... 75 00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:10,957 Oh. 76 00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:15,829 (sighs) 77 00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,497 Hey, Sarah, we've met before. 78 00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:19,633 I'm Bart's mom, Marge. 79 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,468 Hi. 80 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,003 (sighs) 81 00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:27,841 So, overnight field trips‐‐ the things we do for our kids. 82 00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:31,344 Kids. 83 00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:32,612 So... 84 00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:35,248 have you ever been on a battleship before? 85 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,218 Probably. 86 00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:44,958 We're so close, we can read the labels 87 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:47,294 on the drummer's medications. 88 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:48,962 Hey, I have that, too. 89 00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:52,199 Mild depression rules! 90 00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:54,167 Eh, nice seats, huh, fellas? 91 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,937 Yeah, Mr. Burns' payoffs are always the best. 92 00:03:57,003 --> 00:04:00,040 Luckily, I was able to get my wife to take over chaperoning 93 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:03,777 some stupid battleship weekend with Ralphie. 94 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,779 Hey, I saddled my wife with that, too. 95 00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,748 Marge and Sarah were okay with that? 96 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,483 Ah, they'll be fine. 97 00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:12,419 Wives, they love that World War II stuff. 98 00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:14,530 (chuckles): Yeah, they're always gifting their husbands 99 00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:16,490 books and movies about it, 100 00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:19,826 but you know they're really buying it them for themselves. 101 00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,294 Hmm. 102 00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:23,830 And number ten would be... 103 00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:27,300 oh, "telling a funny story." 104 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:30,670 What are your top ten ways of starting a conversation? 105 00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:32,239 Talking. 106 00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:34,074 (sighs) 107 00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:36,076 I guess we should get back to the kids. 108 00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:37,511 They're asleep. 109 00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:38,879 What? 110 00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:44,818 Almost midnight? How did it get so late? 111 00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:49,089 Oh. It's only 8:50? 112 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:55,362 Wait. Did you move the clock ahead 113 00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:58,198 to trick the kids into going to sleep early? 114 00:04:58,265 --> 00:05:00,467 Sarah, I'm impressed. 115 00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:01,935 (gasps) Ooh. 116 00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:05,138 A bottle of pocket alcohol. 117 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,607 (exhales): Ah... 118 00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:10,143 Dang, this is the last place on earth I want to be. 119 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:14,981 No offense, Marge, but, geez, this field trip sucks! 120 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:18,752 (gasps) You said all those words! 121 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,320 I'm just quiet. 122 00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:22,989 Even though everyone thinks I'm an idiot. 123 00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,158 No, no, we don't think you're an idiot. 124 00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:27,160 We just think you're boring. 125 00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:29,162 (gasps) Oops. 126 00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:31,298 (laughter) 127 00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:33,300 Did you bring this from home? 128 00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:36,803 Actually, I got it from Admiral Dingdong's liquor cabinet. 129 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:40,006 - It wasn't locked? - Oh, maybe it was. 130 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,108 Uh, wink. 131 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,810 MARGE: Ooh. 132 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,912 I've never done a swig. 133 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,014 Whoa! 134 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,183 (laughter) 135 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:54,154 Oh, Sarah Wiggum, who are you? 136 00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:58,091 I love Clancy, but you have no idea what it's like 137 00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,861 to be married to a man with a dangerous job 138 00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:03,296 he's just not good at. 139 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,531 Actually... 140 00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,533 And with the way he eats, 141 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,535 each crust he sucks the cheese out of 142 00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,403 could be his last. 143 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:12,539 Maybe I do understand. 144 00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:16,476 It just takes so much work to be a mom and a wife 145 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,812 and keep the goods in a tight little package, 146 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,280 if you catch my drift. 147 00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:22,249 Sometimes it feels like he... 148 00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:23,617 Takes me for granted! 149 00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:26,620 Why do his last‐minute man‐plans have to ruin 150 00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:29,789 the one day of the year where I get to be catty? 151 00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:31,291 (chuckles): Hell yeah, sister. 152 00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:33,627 Well, you know what? You and me, 153 00:06:33,693 --> 00:06:36,796 we're like two fun peas in a party pod. 154 00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:38,965 We should do more hangouts. 155 00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:42,969 Oh, I'd like that, but there's a reason I keep to myself. 156 00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:44,137 Ooh. 157 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:46,239 (singsongy): Secret reasons. 158 00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,409 (gasps) Oh, no. 159 00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:51,344 What are you doing here? 160 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,580 How did you find me? 161 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:54,781 Sarah! 162 00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,383 Marge! 163 00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:04,691 MARGE: Please take this bag off my head. 164 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:05,926 I think whoever you kidnapped 165 00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,428 before me was a smoker. Ugh! 166 00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:11,431 Why did you bring her into it? 167 00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:13,400 She's just some vanilla soccer mom. 168 00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:15,101 She doesn't know anything. 169 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:18,638 Hey, once I start bagging heads, I can't stop. 170 00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:21,541 Hey, there, Sarah. I see you're hanging 171 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,209 with the Yankee Candle crowd. 172 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,445 Wait. Y‐You know these people? 173 00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:27,614 Marge, meet Bette and Erin. 174 00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:29,783 They're my old partners. 175 00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:32,786 In a throuple? Who are the original two? 176 00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:34,454 Partners in crime. 177 00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:36,723 You're a criminal? 178 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,625 Jeebus Crackers! 179 00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:41,795 Hi, Mr. Seger. 180 00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:43,430 Boy, you probably don't remember this, 181 00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:45,298 but I saw you at an airport once, 182 00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:47,634 and I was too nervous to say anything, 183 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,602 and then it wasn't you. 184 00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,638 We love you, man! We promised our wives 185 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:54,074 we'd go on some dumb school field trip, 186 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:57,544 but when we got these tickets, we ditched them so fast. 187 00:07:58,545 --> 00:07:59,980 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 188 00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:02,215 You broke a promise to your wives? 189 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:05,085 A good husband's supposed to be "Like a Rock." 190 00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,620 Because we're all running "Against the Wind." 191 00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:09,622 Terrible "Night Moves." 192 00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:10,890 Look at this. 193 00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:12,459 Those aren't tour dates. 194 00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:15,628 They're all the times I've kept commitments to my wife. 195 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,265 "Rock and Roll Never Forgets" 196 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,268 the needs of his coequal life companion. 197 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,571 You sicken me. 198 00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:27,440 Were... were we just Seger‐shamed? 199 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,943 Why, the real silver bullet is truth. 200 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,778 We're terrible husbands. 201 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,414 I never should have left Marge holding the bag. 202 00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:37,117 We've got to go make it up to Bob Seger. 203 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,319 And our wives. 204 00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:42,489 Sarah, you were a crook? 205 00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:44,758 Everything I never knew or cared to wonder about you 206 00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:46,760 has been a lie. 207 00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:49,462 We weren't crooks. We were thieves. 208 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,973 ♪ A few times I've been around that track ♪ 209 00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:53,800 Sexy, girlie thieves. 210 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:56,970 ♪ I ain't no hollaback girl, I ain't no hollaback... ♪ 211 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,139 They never saw us coming, 212 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,241 but they loved to watch us walk away. 213 00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:03,710 There's nothing we wouldn't lift. 214 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,111 Wallets. Watches. 215 00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:08,415 MP3 players that held over a hundred songs. 216 00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:10,250 Man, it was a blast. 217 00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:14,921 Our biggest jobs were brought to us by a gal named Red. 218 00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:18,525 She got a line on some unsupervised diamonds 219 00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:20,860 in a penthouse safe. 220 00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:23,363 I was the driver, and as always... 221 00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,765 the honeypot. 222 00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,605 Ooh. Ow. 223 00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:33,873 Hey there, blue boy. 224 00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:36,443 I was walking past your big building 225 00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:38,578 and seemed to have sprained my ankle 226 00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:40,647 because of my high flops. 227 00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:42,282 Do you happen to have... 228 00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:44,284 - What, a girlfriend? - ...an icepack? 229 00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:45,418 (both laughing) 230 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:46,820 I'm sorry. I'm s... 231 00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:48,321 Of course, of course I do. 232 00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:50,723 Uh, this is just my night job, by the way. 233 00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:53,626 I'm, uh, putting myself through the police academy. Yeah. 234 00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:56,663 - Isn't that free? - Well, the first time, yeah. 235 00:09:56,729 --> 00:09:59,766 I love a man in a rented uniform. 236 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,701 (moaning) 237 00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:10,310 The kiss was part of the plan. 238 00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:13,246 But falling head over high flops wasn't. 239 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,248 Clancy... 240 00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,650 (siren wailing) 241 00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:20,286 - (gasps) Oh, no. - No, no, don't leave. 242 00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:22,655 Come back to pile. 243 00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:24,157 Uh, I gotta go, blue boy. 244 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,626 - I'm sorry. - Ah, no problem. 245 00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:29,662 - Oh, um, will you marry me? - Probably! 246 00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:30,997 (gasps) 247 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,832 I was supposed to be the getaway driver. 248 00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:34,767 My best friends were arrested. 249 00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:36,503 And it was all my fault. 250 00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:38,505 Oh, cool your jets. 251 00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,173 Yeah, hot jets. 252 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,709 ERIN: It wasn't your fault we got busted. 253 00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:45,011 We were set up... 254 00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:46,779 by Red. 255 00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:49,516 (alarm blaring) 256 00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,684 (gasping) 257 00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:53,887 She got away with our whole take, 258 00:10:53,953 --> 00:10:55,989 including the Hourglass Diamond. 259 00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:58,525 That backstabbing sack of Spanx. 260 00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:01,461 Wait, so it wasn't my fault you got caught. 261 00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:05,131 Yeah, and if you hadn't gone all horndog on that rent‐a‐cop, 262 00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:06,833 you'd have been locked up, too. 263 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,268 We found Red. 264 00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,937 She goes by the name Lindsey Naegle now. 265 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,805 I've heard of her. 266 00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:16,142 She works in various female executive positions around town. 267 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:19,312 We've got a plan to steal that diamond back from her, 268 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,414 and you're gonna help us. 269 00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:23,783 No, I left that life behind me. 270 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,318 I have a husband now, 271 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:28,321 and a son who's smart in a way we haven't figured out yet. 272 00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:31,758 Well, it'd be a real shame if the Chief of Police 273 00:11:31,824 --> 00:11:34,093 found out his wife was a common criminal. 274 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,496 (gasps) You never told Clancy? 275 00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,498 Let's just say he's always been better 276 00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,800 at planting evidence than finding it. 277 00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:44,003 Why don't I just call him now and tell him everything? 278 00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:46,906 I'm in. 279 00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:50,843 Our wives are missing? 280 00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,545 Not unheard of. 281 00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:54,881 Most women have such an idealized version 282 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:57,150 of the Second World War in their heads 283 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,219 that when they meet the cold, hard reality, 284 00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:00,553 they can't face it. 285 00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,088 Did you see what happened? 286 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:04,090 There was but one witness. 287 00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:07,493 Junior Seaman Ralph, give your account of the watch. 288 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:11,664 The mommies got new face hats, then got into a slidey‐door car. 289 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,600 (chuckles) Don't worry, I speak Ralph. 290 00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:16,302 Face hats? Slidey‐door? (gasps) 291 00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:18,137 God, they were kidnapped! 292 00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:21,474 - (gasps) - And there's only one man bold enough 293 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:24,244 to kidnap the wives of the chief of police 294 00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,512 and his slightly slimmer acquaintance. 295 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,348 Sarah was kidnapped? 296 00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:31,351 Oh, spare me the act. We know it was you. 297 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,486 I spare, I swear. 298 00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:36,155 I need your family to be happy and healthy, 299 00:12:36,222 --> 00:12:39,125 because who else would I say it would be a shame 300 00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:41,761 if something were to happen to? 301 00:12:41,828 --> 00:12:44,597 Okay, but what about one of your cronies? 302 00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:47,300 I assure you, you are a beloved figure 303 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,502 amongst my business brethren. 304 00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:51,271 CLANCY: Mm. 305 00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:55,141 (whispers): You look a lot like that guy Chief Bungles. 306 00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:58,511 But there's no other reason to kidnap Sarah. 307 00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:00,380 She's just my little schmoop‐a‐doop, 308 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,282 and that's all there is to her. 309 00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:04,951 Apparently not. (laughs) 310 00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:07,453 Perhaps your wives were not kidnapped. 311 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,124 Perhaps they left because you are selfish men. 312 00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:13,393 That's the only explanation. 313 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:16,129 It was all about us. 314 00:13:16,195 --> 00:13:18,131 All right, what's the job? 315 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,267 Naegle sold the jewels she ripped off from us 316 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,303 and became a fancy socialite. 317 00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:24,847 She kept the biggest rock for herself. 318 00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:28,508 The Hourglass Diamond‐‐ it's in her tiara. 319 00:13:29,842 --> 00:13:32,078 And we're gonna steal it back 320 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,747 when she wears it to the Gen Gala, tomorrow. 321 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:38,518 You're gonna rob the Gen Gala? 322 00:13:38,584 --> 00:13:41,688 Sorry, sorry. Scheme away. 323 00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:45,024 Okay, here's how it's gonna work. 324 00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:47,660 First, we come up through this manhole. 325 00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:48,961 Nope! 326 00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:50,463 Excuse you? 327 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,832 Look, I may not know anything about heists, 328 00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:56,669 but I am the world's biggest superfan of the Gen Gala, 329 00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,304 and your plan won't work. 330 00:13:58,371 --> 00:13:59,305 And why not? 331 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,441 If you did any research, 332 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,910 you'd know Beyoncé's going to be carried in 333 00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:06,412 by 20 plus‐size gladiators, 334 00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:08,448 who will form a human pyramid 335 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,316 right on top of your way in. 336 00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:11,584 No heist. 337 00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:12,952 If you're so Kmart smart, 338 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,454 how would you get in? 339 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,623 Well, these entrances will be blocked by fans, 340 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,792 press and authorized stalkers. 341 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,962 The best plan would be to put on a crazy dress 342 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,098 and sneak in through the red carpet. 343 00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:28,234 Although, you wouldn't get far without a publicist 344 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,169 who knows everything about the gala. 345 00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:33,606 - Someone like you? - Yeah. 346 00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:37,110 This vanilla soccer mom could be our secret weapon. 347 00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:39,112 Me? Join the robbery? 348 00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:40,980 (scoffs) No way! 349 00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:44,117 Stealing is one of the big "thou shalt nots." 350 00:14:44,183 --> 00:14:45,651 It's not about the cash. 351 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,286 It's about setting things right. 352 00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:50,490 Lindsey Naegle betrayed us for money and fame, 353 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:53,860 and all we got are bad prison tattoos. 354 00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:56,095 MARGE: Aw, duckies! 355 00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,830 Marge, aren't you tired 356 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,099 of being underestimated and overlooked? 357 00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:01,968 Together, we can right a wrong 358 00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:04,103 and look damn good doing it. 359 00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:06,606 I've always wanted to say this... 360 00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:09,075 I'm in. 361 00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:11,677 ♪ ♪ 362 00:15:16,682 --> 00:15:18,651 This is Kent Brockman outside 363 00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:19,995 the Museum of Generational Wealth for the annual Gen Gala. 364 00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:21,454 This year's theme is "The Audacity." 365 00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,956 A bold contrast to last year's theme: 366 00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:25,458 "The Nerve." 367 00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,093 But I'm stuck out here, 368 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,662 where hundreds of nobodies have gathered to watch 369 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:32,732 dozens of somebodies walk up some stairs. 370 00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:34,467 Should we do this without Marge? 371 00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,803 This is her favorite watching‐party of the year. 372 00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,337 (booing) 373 00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:41,274 Forget her. I'm jonesing for snark. 374 00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:42,684 Oh, God, would you look at that dress. 375 00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:45,478 Who is the designer, the Great Pacific Garbage Patch? 376 00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:48,247 - Probably? - ALL: Ah... 377 00:15:48,314 --> 00:15:50,850 Ah, that's the good shade. 378 00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:55,154 The plan's working. We look amazing. 379 00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:57,423 Now, let's get those tickets. 380 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,410 The 55 stairs. 381 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:20,246 The Tanqueray stiletto sharpener. 382 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,815 The Swarovski crystal wheelchair ramp. 383 00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:24,717 ‐(gasps) ‐Stop gawking. 384 00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,452 Where do we let the other girls in? 385 00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:29,255 Right over there, next to‐‐ Oh, my God! 386 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,957 Rihanna! (gasps) 387 00:16:31,023 --> 00:16:34,494 I listen to the clean versions of all your songs! 388 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:40,333 Now, let's see if there's any honey left in this pot. 389 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,904 Excuse me, I seemed to have a pulled a muscle. 390 00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:48,140 Do you have an ice pack so that my leg can stop... 391 00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:50,243 - quivering? - (gulps) 392 00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:51,777 Right away, ma'am. 393 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,313 Oh‐ho, hot stuff. 394 00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:06,692 Ugh, no sign of our wives. 395 00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:08,761 We checked out all their favorite places, 396 00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:11,130 but turns out we don't pay enough attention 397 00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:12,431 to know what those are. 398 00:17:12,498 --> 00:17:14,200 So I don't know what we did. 399 00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:17,270 It was my distinct pleasure to watch your son. 400 00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:19,605 I find we are quite simpatico. 401 00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:23,175 Both of us know nothin' about nothin'. 402 00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:25,611 JOHNNY TIGHTLIPS: Oh! 403 00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:28,047 Now that's a fluid gender! 404 00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:31,817 I wouldn't mind asking them their preferred pronouns. Oh! 405 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,453 (gasps) If I'm not mistaken, 406 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,790 that's how Marge looks when she's happy. 407 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,292 And that's my Sarah! 408 00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:40,793 Come on, Homer. 409 00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:44,230 It looks like this town's got a museum. 410 00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:52,638 There's Lindsey, and she's wearing the tiara. 411 00:17:57,476 --> 00:17:59,178 Okay, don't be nervous. 412 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,547 - You can do this. - Nervous? 413 00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:04,684 This is the best field trip of my fricking life! 414 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:09,255 Ms. Naegle, can I just say, "that dress." 415 00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:12,258 I know, right? You go, girl. (chuckles) 416 00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:14,393 What setting would you even wash that on? 417 00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:16,295 Delicate? Eco‐warm? 418 00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:19,465 I bet it would make so much noise in the dryer, right? 419 00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,803 Um, I don't want this to sound harsh, 420 00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:26,405 but you're not famous, so you don't exist. 421 00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:27,473 Bye now. 422 00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:30,209 Darling, stop talking to that empty chair 423 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:33,145 and come take a selfie at the Fenty lip gloss fountain. 424 00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:41,153 Oh, it's a fake! 425 00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,123 I've been robbed! 426 00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:46,993 Somebody stop those two nobodies! 427 00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:48,127 Keep it cool. 428 00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:49,338 We just have to slip out of here 429 00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:50,796 without anyone noticing us. 430 00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:53,733 ‐(sirens blaring) ‐(gasping) 431 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:56,535 WIGGUM (over bullhorn): Sarah Wiggum, freeze! 432 00:18:57,503 --> 00:19:01,340 We're here to give you ladies the attention you deserve! 433 00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:04,343 (panting) 434 00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:11,751 Shh! Now is not the time, Clancy. 435 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,919 No, no, when it comes to love, 436 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,389 it's always the time for shouting! 437 00:19:16,455 --> 00:19:18,391 Sar‐ah Wig‐gum! 438 00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:20,426 Schmoop‐a‐doop! 439 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:23,429 Shmoop‐ba‐da‐doopa! 440 00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,098 ‐I love Sa‐‐ ‐Shut up! 441 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,034 Oh, God, ow. 442 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:31,437 - Sarah Wiggum, who are you? - LINDSEY: That's her! 443 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:32,838 She's the thief! 444 00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:35,141 (yelps) 445 00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:36,842 (grunting) 446 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:45,051 (grunting continues) 447 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,453 (groans) 448 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,389 Babe, who is she? 449 00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:52,258 This is my new girlfriend. 450 00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:54,794 You were tumbling for a long time. 451 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,562 Oh, you poor thing. 452 00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,497 Here's your bag, sweetie. 453 00:19:58,564 --> 00:19:59,632 Oopsie! 454 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,133 LINDSEY: Those aren't mine! 455 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,002 - My earrings! - My blood diamond! 456 00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:04,804 My conflict tennis bracelet! 457 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:14,113 Oh, this time, leave me holding the bag. 458 00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:15,981 Aw, thanks, Homie. 459 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,317 But they're part of the ensemble. 460 00:20:22,254 --> 00:20:24,023 Chalamet looks like dirt. 461 00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:26,325 BTS looks like seven dirts. 462 00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:29,095 I see nerve there but nothing audacious. 463 00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:32,198 Oh. My. God. 464 00:20:32,264 --> 00:20:33,699 Jeebus Crackers! 465 00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:35,000 That's Marge! 466 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,804 What the hell is she doing at the Gen Gala? 467 00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:40,940 Exactly. She looks like dirt. 468 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,477 It's what she would have wanted. 469 00:20:44,543 --> 00:20:46,521 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 470 00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:48,481 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 471 00:20:48,547 --> 00:20:51,450 And FORD. We go further, so you can. 472 00:20:57,356 --> 00:20:59,191 Oh, Clancy. 473 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:02,828 So, this whole time, I've been married to a master criminal. 474 00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:04,797 Damn straight. 475 00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,866 (both moaning) 476 00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:10,636 Wait, wait, uh, where's Ralph? 477 00:21:12,071 --> 00:21:13,973 I must confess, 478 00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:15,775 I thought putting crushed‐up Oreos 479 00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:18,477 into the cookies and cream yogurt would be redundant. 480 00:21:18,544 --> 00:21:22,181 Instead, it is transcendent. 481 00:21:22,248 --> 00:21:25,251 (chuckles) I like to smoosh the gummy bears. 482 00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:26,852 Hey, no touching! 483 00:21:26,919 --> 00:21:31,791 If the boy wants to smoosh, the boy will smoosh. 484 00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:33,959 I love you, scary daddy. 485 00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:38,063 I love you too, Ralphie "Stickie Hands." 486 00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:43,102 Shh!