1 00:00:33,270 --> 00:00:33,892 Hmm. 2 00:00:34,573 --> 00:00:36,613 I must be supposed to remember something. 3 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:38,061 Huh? 4 00:00:39,928 --> 00:00:40,880 Huh. 5 00:00:41,182 --> 00:00:42,009 Hmm. 6 00:00:42,236 --> 00:00:44,154 Come on, memory, wake up. 7 00:00:47,037 --> 00:00:48,415 Is it our anniversary? 8 00:00:48,417 --> 00:00:50,326 No, we don't have one this year. 9 00:00:50,539 --> 00:00:51,210 Hmm. 10 00:00:54,032 --> 00:00:55,590 Hm-hmm... 11 00:00:58,455 --> 00:00:59,741 Don't forge? 12 00:00:59,841 --> 00:01:02,062 Don't forge what? 13 00:01:03,582 --> 00:01:04,971 Oh... don't forget. 14 00:01:04,976 --> 00:01:07,664 Don't forget what?! 15 00:01:07,666 --> 00:01:09,470 Hustle your bustles, gang. 16 00:01:09,474 --> 00:01:12,561 We're going to the Senior Olympics to root for Grampa. 17 00:01:12,566 --> 00:01:14,467 The Senior Olympics? 18 00:01:14,472 --> 00:01:17,549 That's what I was supposed to remember?! 19 00:01:17,565 --> 00:01:18,471 Oh... 20 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:20,099 Don't you dare go limp. 21 00:01:20,106 --> 00:01:22,687 Too late. The deed is done. 22 00:01:22,692 --> 00:01:24,325 Kids, grab a fold. 23 00:01:37,047 --> 00:01:37,865 Oh, hey, Homer. 24 00:01:37,870 --> 00:01:40,807 Uh, I hope you didn't forget that today's our big day. 25 00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:43,787 I sure am looking forward to my birthday fishing trip. 26 00:01:44,245 --> 00:01:45,524 Well, I'll see you soon. 27 00:01:45,530 --> 00:01:47,340 This is Moe, big day. 28 00:01:47,596 --> 00:01:50,994 Uh... waiting, feeling, uh, kind of fragile. 29 00:01:51,171 --> 00:01:54,858 Moe, the birthday boy, listening for your car. 30 00:02:00,003 --> 00:02:02,659 I can finally win a gold medal. 31 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:05,960 I came close to it at the 1936 Olympics. 32 00:02:13,192 --> 00:02:16,480 I threw a javelin that barely missed Hitler. 33 00:02:18,515 --> 00:02:22,424 But I did hit an assassin who was trying to kill Hitler. 34 00:02:22,428 --> 00:02:23,114 What is this? 35 00:02:23,122 --> 00:02:24,290 Kill Hitler day? 36 00:02:25,046 --> 00:02:28,537 The next time I saw Hitler, we had dinner and laughed about it. 37 00:02:49,681 --> 00:02:52,487 What's with the lined composition book? 38 00:02:52,510 --> 00:02:56,019 My report on a "Fascinating Springfielder" is due Monday, 39 00:02:56,023 --> 00:02:59,342 and everybody I've tried to interview is so boring. 40 00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:04,201 You could interview me. I collect Absolut ads. 41 00:03:04,205 --> 00:03:05,785 How many others do you have? 42 00:03:06,564 --> 00:03:07,855 There are others? 43 00:03:11,172 --> 00:03:12,551 This guy sucks. 44 00:03:12,555 --> 00:03:14,627 He can barely make it to the top. 45 00:03:29,551 --> 00:03:34,495 72 lousy events and Grampa hasn't won a single medal. 46 00:03:34,499 --> 00:03:37,865 Well, it's not fair when Moleman uses his replacement legs. 47 00:03:41,516 --> 00:03:43,057 On your mark! 48 00:03:52,436 --> 00:03:52,964 Oh... 49 00:03:53,270 --> 00:03:57,120 Oh, it's clouding up. I better put on me rain poncho. 50 00:04:02,793 --> 00:04:03,621 Sir! 51 00:04:03,626 --> 00:04:05,578 You dropped your munchers! 52 00:04:12,522 --> 00:04:14,946 You'll never take me alive, Grim Reaper 53 00:04:20,278 --> 00:04:21,923 Yay, Grampa. 54 00:04:23,490 --> 00:04:24,472 Take the boy. 55 00:04:24,477 --> 00:04:25,885 His soul is fresher. 56 00:04:28,732 --> 00:04:30,926 I've never been happier. 57 00:04:34,493 --> 00:04:36,738 Turn that hippie crap off! 58 00:04:38,828 --> 00:04:42,547 I wonder if the dog thought about us while we were gone. 59 00:04:44,914 --> 00:04:46,453 Oh... 60 00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:49,555 I was supposed to take Moe fishing today. 61 00:04:49,570 --> 00:04:50,828 Everybody hide! 62 00:04:52,010 --> 00:04:54,995 Finally, that jerk Homer is home. 63 00:04:57,742 --> 00:04:59,722 Oh, it's just his car. 64 00:05:02,086 --> 00:05:04,630 ♪ Happy birthday to me ♪ 65 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:07,544 ♪ Happy birthday to me ♪ 66 00:05:07,549 --> 00:05:10,672 ♪ I feel so damn lonely ♪ 67 00:05:10,688 --> 00:05:13,533 ♪ Won't someone kill me... ♪ 68 00:05:16,972 --> 00:05:18,926 ♪ And many more. ♪ 69 00:05:27,904 --> 00:05:32,153 Homer, we can't scuttle like crabs for the rest of our lives. 70 00:05:32,161 --> 00:05:33,531 Says you. 71 00:05:53,257 --> 00:05:55,532 "Dear Pus Bag"? 72 00:05:56,251 --> 00:05:58,274 Whoa, Marge, who'd you piss off? 73 00:05:58,277 --> 00:06:00,258 It's for you, Pus Bag! 74 00:06:01,150 --> 00:06:03,152 Birthdays never meant squat to me. 75 00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,857 Then you offered to take me fishing, 76 00:06:04,862 --> 00:06:07,476 and like a stumblebum chump, I dared to hope. 77 00:06:07,481 --> 00:06:11,301 But you shattered my dreams like a Duff tall boy in a bar brawl, 78 00:06:11,307 --> 00:06:14,764 and you jammed the jagged neck right up my heart's butt. 79 00:06:14,770 --> 00:06:17,135 I guess I just wasn't meant to be happy... 80 00:06:17,138 --> 00:06:19,534 or handsome or anything, really. 81 00:06:20,349 --> 00:06:23,527 What a deep, tormented soul. 82 00:06:28,319 --> 00:06:29,632 Loser! 83 00:06:36,401 --> 00:06:37,371 Moe! 84 00:06:37,376 --> 00:06:41,324 You have a world view both bleak and beautiful. 85 00:06:41,328 --> 00:06:43,652 I want to write a report about you. 86 00:06:43,656 --> 00:06:45,461 Wow, for the first time in my life, 87 00:06:45,466 --> 00:06:48,470 someone's taking a genuine interest in what's inside of me. 88 00:06:48,605 --> 00:06:51,241 Heh, suddenly, this is my best birthday ever. 89 00:06:55,744 --> 00:06:57,303 Still in the top three. 90 00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:04,469 Still in the top ten. 91 00:07:07,798 --> 00:07:09,820 How come you wanna do a report on me? 92 00:07:09,826 --> 00:07:13,543 I ain't no great man, like Bob Seger or Haystacks Calhoun. 93 00:07:13,549 --> 00:07:17,340 Because I suspect deep within you is an artist's soul. 94 00:07:17,343 --> 00:07:19,127 Thanks. Say, here's my digs. 95 00:07:23,054 --> 00:07:25,378 Moe, you live in a hotel? 96 00:07:25,416 --> 00:07:26,986 You're just like "Eloise"! 97 00:07:26,991 --> 00:07:29,285 Did someone say my name? 98 00:07:29,902 --> 00:07:32,988 This vibrating massage chair feels great! 99 00:07:32,992 --> 00:07:35,758 That ain't a massage chair. It's just full of cockroaches. 100 00:07:36,415 --> 00:07:36,917 See? 101 00:07:37,881 --> 00:07:39,313 Eyeball screams broken pipe 102 00:07:40,391 --> 00:07:41,860 Liver fights kidney who wins? no one 103 00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:44,813 Wow! Moe, these fragments are fascinating. 104 00:07:45,321 --> 00:07:47,883 "I was in the Christmas pageant once. 105 00:07:47,889 --> 00:07:50,331 "Mom showed up with a new boyfriend. 106 00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:52,051 He called me Steve." 107 00:07:52,153 --> 00:07:56,046 Oh... what you've got here is poetry! 108 00:07:56,141 --> 00:07:58,903 Ooh, Moe's a poet! 109 00:07:58,910 --> 00:08:02,055 He has a soul! Flutter your wings! 110 00:08:02,061 --> 00:08:04,846 It's tea time in Buttercup Junction! 111 00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:05,779 Dee-Dee-Dee... 112 00:08:08,532 --> 00:08:11,411 Moe's the Princess of Lollipop Land! 113 00:08:12,306 --> 00:08:15,259 He lunches on lavender and potpourri! 114 00:08:18,275 --> 00:08:20,394 Seriously, Moe, I think you have a gift. 115 00:08:20,403 --> 00:08:22,716 Thanks, Homer. I love ya, man. 116 00:08:22,849 --> 00:08:25,303 Ooh, you love a man! 117 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:33,165 You know, artfully arranged, these fragments could be an epic poem... 118 00:08:33,169 --> 00:08:36,284 like T.S. Eliot's "The Wasteland". 119 00:08:36,392 --> 00:08:38,134 What-which why-liot's the who-now? 120 00:08:42,343 --> 00:08:43,432 Whoa! 121 00:08:43,436 --> 00:08:46,806 My brain-goo's comin' out all artistical, thanks to you. 122 00:08:46,808 --> 00:08:51,139 How 'bout this for a title: "Howling at a Concrete Moon." 123 00:08:51,147 --> 00:08:52,705 That's a terrific title! 124 00:08:52,711 --> 00:08:55,436 It jumps out at you like a rat in your underwear drawer. 125 00:08:55,442 --> 00:08:57,727 We make a great team there, Lisa. 126 00:09:00,049 --> 00:09:03,266 "...my soul smells like a dead pigeon after three weeks. 127 00:09:03,271 --> 00:09:05,264 "I shut my window and go to sleep. 128 00:09:05,269 --> 00:09:08,789 In my dream I eat corn with my eyes." 129 00:09:13,229 --> 00:09:14,336 Philistines. 130 00:09:16,169 --> 00:09:19,596 Lisa, I'm sorry you got a bad grade on your "Moe and tell." 131 00:09:19,611 --> 00:09:21,062 I don't care about my grade. 132 00:09:21,068 --> 00:09:24,404 I'm gonna send Moe's poem to American Poetry Perspectives. 133 00:09:24,412 --> 00:09:27,336 Do not mention that publication in this house! 134 00:09:27,342 --> 00:09:29,791 They never published my poem! "There once was a rapping tomato 135 00:09:32,249 --> 00:09:34,133 "That's right, I said 'rapping tomato' 136 00:09:34,136 --> 00:09:36,531 "He rapped all day from April to May 137 00:09:36,799 --> 00:09:38,537 And also, guess what, it was me." 138 00:09:45,799 --> 00:09:47,785 Hey, Chief, we just got a submission 139 00:09:47,789 --> 00:09:49,890 from a brilliant poet no one's ever heard of! 140 00:09:52,536 --> 00:09:54,178 Hmm! Genius! 141 00:09:54,191 --> 00:09:55,837 Pay him nothing, and run it on the cover! 142 00:09:56,342 --> 00:09:57,833 Stop the presses! Send my wife some flowers! 143 00:09:57,837 --> 00:09:59,447 And bring me an Advil! What do you mean you don't work for me?! 144 00:09:59,451 --> 00:10:00,792 You're hired! Now that you're hired, you're fired! 145 00:10:00,799 --> 00:10:02,048 Now that you don't work here, we can be friends. 146 00:10:02,053 --> 00:10:03,221 Now that we're friends, how come you never call? 147 00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:04,083 Some friend you are! 148 00:10:04,179 --> 00:10:05,389 God, I love this business. 149 00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:06,231 Here it is. 150 00:10:08,498 --> 00:10:10,218 Bad news, Maya Angelou, you've been bumped. 151 00:10:10,224 --> 00:10:11,762 ...you can't bump me... 152 00:10:11,770 --> 00:10:13,361 ...bump you! 153 00:10:17,642 --> 00:10:20,558 Moe, you're a published author! 154 00:10:20,561 --> 00:10:22,603 Wow, just think, earlier tonight, 155 00:10:22,611 --> 00:10:25,785 a newly-published poet cleaned up my barf. 156 00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:27,753 Moe's Tavern. 157 00:10:27,941 --> 00:10:28,626 Who? 158 00:10:28,764 --> 00:10:29,279 Where? 159 00:10:29,523 --> 00:10:30,374 To what? 160 00:10:30,567 --> 00:10:32,179 Screw you, snail trail! 161 00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:33,647 Who was that? 162 00:10:33,650 --> 00:10:37,711 Eh, some jerk makin' a prank call with a gag name: "Tom Wolfe." 163 00:10:37,774 --> 00:10:39,056 Tom Wolfe?! 164 00:10:39,059 --> 00:10:43,049 He wrote The Right Stuff and Bonfire of the Vanities. 165 00:10:43,055 --> 00:10:45,840 And coined the phrase "radical chic!" 166 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,513 Wait, wait, wait. Then that guy wasn't squeezin' my 'roids 167 00:10:49,519 --> 00:10:52,675 when he invited me to the Wordloaf Festival in Vermont? 168 00:10:53,374 --> 00:10:54,935 The Wordloaf Festival?! 169 00:10:55,202 --> 00:10:57,806 You'll meet all the great American writers, Moe! 170 00:10:57,810 --> 00:10:59,030 You have to go! 171 00:10:59,035 --> 00:11:02,493 Yeah? Well, okay, all right, but uh... only if you come, huh? 172 00:11:02,499 --> 00:11:04,893 Ah, I wouldn't-a had none of this without you, kid. 173 00:11:07,447 --> 00:11:09,217 Hello. Oh, hey, Milhouse. 174 00:11:09,223 --> 00:11:10,304 I'm not here. 175 00:11:13,149 --> 00:11:17,459 Ah, a family trip with the family bartender, what could be better? 176 00:11:19,222 --> 00:11:20,239 How's it goin', Homer? 177 00:11:21,449 --> 00:11:24,937 I gotta go to Vermont for some stupid poetry thing. 178 00:11:25,945 --> 00:11:28,000 Homer, don't drink and drive! 179 00:11:28,606 --> 00:11:31,584 Fine. I'll drive between sips. 180 00:11:51,685 --> 00:11:52,643 Whoop! 181 00:11:52,747 --> 00:11:55,150 They got an open bar at this thing, right? 182 00:11:56,461 --> 00:11:59,596 Wow. Troopers from every state in New England. 183 00:11:59,703 --> 00:12:01,073 Including Rhode Island! 184 00:12:01,177 --> 00:12:03,564 We're a small state, but we give big tickets. 185 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,391 Hey, guys, did you hear? 186 00:12:05,435 --> 00:12:07,645 The Da Vinci Code just sold one hundred million copies! 187 00:12:12,811 --> 00:12:13,951 It's Tom Wolfe! 188 00:12:14,058 --> 00:12:18,109 He uses more exclamation points than any other major American writer. 189 00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:19,111 It's true! 190 00:12:19,297 --> 00:12:23,911 - How ya doin' there? Moe Szyslak. - Ah, magnificent Moe. 191 00:12:24,013 --> 00:12:27,020 He stands, stoop-shouldered, blinking in the light, 192 00:12:27,126 --> 00:12:29,531 hollow-chested like a dough-faced fall guy 193 00:12:29,637 --> 00:12:32,561 who's made a career of taking dives but has decided 194 00:12:32,665 --> 00:12:35,401 to get his manhood out of hock and take a shot at the title. 195 00:12:35,508 --> 00:12:37,893 Or at least go for the jaw and thwack 196 00:12:37,996 --> 00:12:42,500 hyperextend the champ's pterygoideus before kissing the mat good night. 197 00:12:45,745 --> 00:12:48,874 You ever scrub your hands real fast, and you think you're seein' a third one? 198 00:12:48,979 --> 00:12:51,172 One time I looked down and there really was. 199 00:12:51,678 --> 00:12:53,450 I gotta get a new lock for that bathroom. 200 00:12:57,941 --> 00:13:00,455 Moe, your debut poem is as refreshing as... 201 00:13:00,481 --> 00:13:02,809 a second pair of socks on a wet hike. 202 00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:06,427 I must know how you came up with that brilliant title, 203 00:13:06,534 --> 00:13:08,497 "Howling at a Concrete Moon." 204 00:13:10,186 --> 00:13:12,692 Uh, well actually, I had some help on the title... 205 00:13:15,237 --> 00:13:17,198 You needed help to write your title? 206 00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:19,398 Well, so have I, Gore Vidal. 207 00:13:19,501 --> 00:13:23,504 1876 was the price I paid for gas once. 208 00:13:23,606 --> 00:13:27,549 I thought of Burr when I saw it written on an Eskimo Pie package. 209 00:13:27,551 --> 00:13:29,004 I can't believe it! 210 00:13:29,110 --> 00:13:30,460 Those sound like terrible jokes! 211 00:13:30,564 --> 00:13:34,675 Sir, I must ask you to pick up your gift bag and leave this festival. 212 00:13:34,780 --> 00:13:37,564 I don't need your sycophantic laughter! 213 00:13:37,671 --> 00:13:39,533 I have some on tape. 214 00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:48,246 You still love me, Temple University Class of 1987. 215 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:53,827 So Moe, you were telling us how you came up with your title. 216 00:13:53,933 --> 00:13:56,357 Yeah, well, I-I was just saying that um... 217 00:13:57,795 --> 00:13:59,838 ...that I, uh, I thought it up all by myself. 218 00:14:01,358 --> 00:14:04,607 Ah, like a real writer. Outstanding, Moe! 219 00:14:04,714 --> 00:14:05,741 To the hayride! 220 00:14:07,554 --> 00:14:09,565 ♪ Let's get it started ♪ 221 00:14:09,771 --> 00:14:13,891 ♪ Let's get it started in here, ♪ ♪ let's get it started... ♪ 222 00:14:15,581 --> 00:14:17,014 But we were a team! 223 00:14:17,521 --> 00:14:18,621 ♪ Let's get it started... ♪ 224 00:14:27,027 --> 00:14:28,405 I'd like to introduce our panel: 225 00:14:28,610 --> 00:14:31,799 Jonathan Franzen, Michael Chabon and Moe. 226 00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:35,852 Whoa, clear water. Swanky! Woo-hoo. 227 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:39,800 Now we'll open the floor to fawning praise and obvious questions. 228 00:14:41,953 --> 00:14:42,991 Uh, yeah, first of all, 229 00:14:42,996 --> 00:14:45,084 I'd like to thank all of you for your brilliant work. 230 00:14:46,688 --> 00:14:48,119 Yes, yes. 231 00:14:48,527 --> 00:14:51,243 My question is, who are your biggest influences? 232 00:14:51,246 --> 00:14:54,574 I'd have to say my good friend Jonathan Franzen. 233 00:14:54,681 --> 00:14:57,487 I thought his novel The Corrections needed none. 234 00:14:57,690 --> 00:15:00,084 Cha-bone...! 235 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:03,126 Well, in turn, I'd have to say my biggest influence is... 236 00:15:03,602 --> 00:15:04,641 Albert Camus. 237 00:15:04,648 --> 00:15:07,432 You were supposed to say me. I blurbed you. 238 00:15:07,537 --> 00:15:10,092 Yeah, and it looks real sweet on my dust jacket. 239 00:15:10,199 --> 00:15:13,976 - How do you like me now? - Fran-zone...! 240 00:15:14,283 --> 00:15:16,115 Moe, who inspired you to become a writer? 241 00:15:16,118 --> 00:15:18,243 Jack Kerouac? Charles Bukowski? 242 00:15:18,548 --> 00:15:19,770 Me, Tom Wolfe? 243 00:15:19,974 --> 00:15:21,978 Well, I dunno, uh... the only book I ever read 244 00:15:22,083 --> 00:15:25,328 was Super Hounds: The Ultimate Greyhound Betting System. 245 00:15:25,434 --> 00:15:28,200 So, uh, any of you wetnaps write that? 246 00:15:31,618 --> 00:15:35,788 Mr. Szyslak, there must be some person, possibly in this very room, 247 00:15:35,793 --> 00:15:38,278 who believed in you when no one else did. 248 00:15:38,482 --> 00:15:41,491 Oh, uh, yeah, I get what you're gettin' at. 249 00:15:41,898 --> 00:15:43,087 Um... nope. 250 00:15:43,392 --> 00:15:44,391 But how can you...? 251 00:15:44,398 --> 00:15:46,718 Now, now, he's answered your question. 252 00:15:46,825 --> 00:15:48,977 I declare this panel dismissed. 253 00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:53,544 - But I deserve acknowledgment. - I said dismissed. 254 00:15:54,204 --> 00:15:58,696 Lisa, grab your sightseeing shoes. We're going Vermonting. 255 00:15:58,899 --> 00:16:00,572 It's gonna be awesome. 256 00:16:00,779 --> 00:16:04,103 Man, couples in this state sure like to clink glasses. 257 00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:06,886 You guys go ahead. 258 00:16:06,892 --> 00:16:09,434 I don't think I'd be very good company. 259 00:16:09,539 --> 00:16:11,060 Hey, thanks for the heads up. 260 00:16:11,067 --> 00:16:12,271 We'll see you when we see you. 261 00:16:17,088 --> 00:16:19,251 I love these covered bridges. 262 00:16:19,359 --> 00:16:22,034 It's like driving through cute little houses. 263 00:16:22,139 --> 00:16:24,590 That was my house, you moron. 264 00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:27,452 Oh, I'm sorry. 265 00:16:27,459 --> 00:16:29,630 We should exchange insurance information. 266 00:16:29,836 --> 00:16:31,316 I have none. 267 00:16:44,393 --> 00:16:47,798 No food for you grad students till you grade 3,000 papers. 268 00:16:50,482 --> 00:16:53,561 Hey, hey, there you are. I've been lookin' for ya. 269 00:16:53,564 --> 00:16:56,340 I need a brilliant new poem for the farewell dinner. 270 00:16:56,447 --> 00:16:58,638 So if you could turn these into one of those 271 00:16:58,743 --> 00:17:00,930 and then don't say nothin' while I take all the credit, 272 00:17:01,034 --> 00:17:03,558 I'd really appreciate it, though I'd never admit that. 273 00:17:03,664 --> 00:17:04,831 And, look, I got you started. 274 00:17:05,318 --> 00:17:06,437 Huh? Huh? 275 00:17:06,643 --> 00:17:09,268 Moe, you're a heartless jerk. 276 00:17:10,389 --> 00:17:12,530 Huh? Whoa, where did that come from? 277 00:17:12,637 --> 00:17:14,430 Oh, right, right, my actions. 278 00:17:14,836 --> 00:17:17,611 Well, let's see if I can put this poem together. 279 00:17:20,627 --> 00:17:21,326 Hah! 280 00:17:22,636 --> 00:17:23,633 Hey, hey, hey. 281 00:17:23,739 --> 00:17:26,546 Hey, st... stupid geese, you're eatin' my brilliance. 282 00:17:28,307 --> 00:17:30,159 Hey, hey, I will break your beak. 283 00:17:30,265 --> 00:17:32,217 What... Get... Hey... Look at me. 284 00:17:32,322 --> 00:17:34,203 It's supposed to be my big triumph, 285 00:17:34,307 --> 00:17:36,329 and I'm standing in mud, fightin' with geese. 286 00:17:36,938 --> 00:17:39,323 Well, if I'm gonna fight, I might as well win. 287 00:17:41,576 --> 00:17:45,266 Yeah, go on, you cowards. Fly off in a "V". 288 00:17:48,561 --> 00:17:50,836 Hey, Lis, we learned so much scootin' around Vermont. 289 00:17:50,891 --> 00:17:53,305 Did you know that candles are made by losers? 290 00:17:53,511 --> 00:17:55,745 And we went to the Vermont Teddy Bear factory. 291 00:17:56,463 --> 00:17:57,862 Look what we got. 292 00:18:04,490 --> 00:18:06,073 Oh, honey, don't cry. 293 00:18:06,178 --> 00:18:10,310 They're not made from real bears just their fur and noses. 294 00:18:11,368 --> 00:18:15,047 Moe marginalized my contributions. 295 00:18:18,444 --> 00:18:21,471 No one makes my daughter sob and run. 296 00:18:21,575 --> 00:18:23,910 He ruined her first Wordloaf. 297 00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:30,886 Look at me, sittin' here depressed when I'm surrounded 298 00:18:30,991 --> 00:18:33,544 by the happiest people in the world: writers. 299 00:18:35,710 --> 00:18:38,867 Before Moe reads his keynote poem, I would like to stake my claim 300 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,273 to any unfinished garlic mashed potatoes. 301 00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:44,587 So please, if you would pass them clockwise up to table one, 302 00:18:44,692 --> 00:18:46,043 I will collect them later. 303 00:18:47,453 --> 00:18:49,959 Now, I give you Moe Szyslak. 304 00:18:53,677 --> 00:18:56,431 Uh, this here poem is called "Elevator Capacity". 305 00:18:57,841 --> 00:19:00,597 "Elevator capacity: 2,400 pounds. 306 00:19:00,703 --> 00:19:04,711 "Inspection Certificate available in hotel manager's office." 307 00:19:04,718 --> 00:19:08,475 You just pulled that off the wall of the elevator. 308 00:19:08,683 --> 00:19:10,811 Yeah, well, uh, uh, here's another one you might like. 309 00:19:11,995 --> 00:19:13,996 "Channel 61: Family Favorites. 310 00:19:14,103 --> 00:19:16,006 "Channel 62: Adult Desires. 311 00:19:16,310 --> 00:19:19,579 "Channel 63: In-Room Checkout. Chan..." 312 00:19:27,484 --> 00:19:29,486 You know what? I got a different poem for yaz. 313 00:19:31,901 --> 00:19:35,698 Ode to Lisa: Pointy-headed mini-muse 314 00:19:35,805 --> 00:19:39,896 More friend than I deserved You pulled me from the dirt 315 00:19:39,901 --> 00:19:42,503 And made me the beautiful flower that I am. 316 00:19:42,708 --> 00:19:45,014 But some flowers can stab you in the back 317 00:19:45,020 --> 00:19:49,201 For which I should send you flowers Which I will, but they were closed 318 00:19:49,306 --> 00:19:52,241 - You'll be getting them tomorrow. - Oh, Moe. 319 00:19:52,247 --> 00:19:53,999 Lisa, if you could just forgive me, 320 00:19:54,104 --> 00:19:56,287 you would make me the happiest man in Vermont. 321 00:19:56,493 --> 00:19:58,483 Except for those two dudes I saw gettin' hitched. 322 00:19:58,590 --> 00:20:00,552 Not my thing, but I wish 'em well. 323 00:20:00,857 --> 00:20:04,428 Make my daughter cry, will ya. Eat syrup, jerk. 324 00:20:04,632 --> 00:20:06,415 - Wha...? - Dad, no! 325 00:20:06,621 --> 00:20:08,804 I'm not mad at Moe anymore. 326 00:20:10,014 --> 00:20:13,472 Uh, Homer, would it make you feel better if, uh, any of that hit me? 327 00:20:13,577 --> 00:20:14,573 No, not now. 328 00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:16,602 I'm gonna walk away then. Okay? 329 00:20:19,649 --> 00:20:21,934 Wow. You couldn't make this stuff up. 330 00:20:22,038 --> 00:20:24,562 - Well, you couldn't. - That's it, Franzen. 331 00:20:24,669 --> 00:20:27,022 I think your nose needs some corrections. 332 00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:34,750 Ooh, you fight like Anne Rice. 333 00:20:37,163 --> 00:20:39,519 Well, Moe, I guess we're friends again. 334 00:20:39,623 --> 00:20:40,671 That's great. 335 00:20:40,778 --> 00:20:43,503 Now what do you say we do some regional duck pin bowling? 336 00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:46,324 I'd like that. I'd like it a lot. 337 00:20:48,890 --> 00:20:50,929 Aw, that's sweet. I hate sweet. 338 00:20:51,138 --> 00:20:52,940 I need photos. Photos of Spider-Man. 339 00:20:53,042 --> 00:20:56,281 - This is a poetry journal. - Okay, then poems about Spider-Man. 340 00:20:56,284 --> 00:20:57,638 And I want them finished before you start. 341 00:20:57,741 --> 00:20:58,991 And before you finish, get me some coffee. 342 00:20:58,998 --> 00:21:00,928 And the poems should have the following rhyme scheme: 343 00:21:01,012 --> 00:21:03,707 A-B-B-A-A-B-B-A-C-D-E-C-D-E. 344 00:21:03,713 --> 00:21:05,440 What are you waitin' for, Chinese New Year? 345 00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:18,054 Maple syrup. Sleigh on the label very good. 346 00:21:21,882 --> 00:21:24,958 Rich maple color, good swirl. 347 00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:41,401 Oh... Jemima! 348 00:21:42,932 --> 00:21:45,135 - Touched in the head, is he? - A-yup.