1 00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:06,423 The Simpsons. 2 00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:11,780 Give me a hand. 3 00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,542 Our top story, the ozone hole 4 00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:26,586 that devastated Brazil last summer 5 00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:28,546 is apparently wintering in Springfield. 6 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:30,215 Whoo! Springfield rocks! 7 00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:32,383 Residents are advised to stay inside 8 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:35,845 unless you wear sunscreen or are very, very hairy. 9 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,597 Experts recommend a class-nine 10 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,100 or Robin Williams level of hair coverage. 11 00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:41,768 Help, somebody! 12 00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:50,360 Let me in, for the love of... 13 00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:53,404 Are you OK? 14 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:54,989 I've been better. 15 00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:58,368 Oh, I am so bored. 16 00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:02,413 Oh, I can't wait till we're teenagers. Then we'll be happy. 17 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:05,625 Well, we could play Clam Traffic Jam 18 00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:07,418 or The Game of County Seats. 19 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:12,715 Aw, the zoning disc is warped. 20 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,259 All right! Silly string! 21 00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:18,138 Look, you're Milhouse. 22 00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,598 Who wets their bed now, Milhouse? 23 00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:23,810 Ugh. I'll be in my room. 24 00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:25,395 There's got to be something fun 25 00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:26,688 in my parents' closet. 26 00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:28,439 Want to dress up like ladies? 27 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:31,943 Uh, wouldn't that make us kind of... fruity? 28 00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:34,487 What's the matter? Scared you might like it? 29 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:35,947 I'll show you who's scared. 30 00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:40,827 Oh, wow, this really hides my thighs. 31 00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:48,668 Sisters are doing it for themselves. 32 00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:50,503 Hey, why is this door locked? 33 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,754 Oh, no, it's Dad! 34 00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:57,760 What's going on? 35 00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,972 And I want a non-gay explanation. 36 00:03:01,055 --> 00:03:02,765 Uh, we're drunk, 37 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:03,892 really drunk. 38 00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,351 Oh, thank God. 39 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,482 Clear. 40 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,109 Why are you doing that? 41 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,736 Oh. It's good for the batteries. 42 00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:17,405 Now, I'm afraid your son has cracked his coccyx. 43 00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:22,160 I'm sorry. How long will he take to recover? 44 00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:25,288 He'll have to wear this fanny cast for quite some time. 45 00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:28,374 But don't worry, son. It fits snugly under your clothes. 46 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,794 Do all these people have to watch me? 47 00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:35,757 Now, son, this is a teaching hospital 48 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,009 which is why I equipped the seat of your cast 49 00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:39,260 with a viewing window. 50 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:40,595 Oh, my. Now, that's something. 51 00:03:40,678 --> 00:03:41,804 He should exercise more. 52 00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:48,853 Uh, little help? 53 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,398 Bart, stop fooling around. 54 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,609 Principal Skinner, I thought public schools 55 00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:57,612 were required to have access ramps for the disabled. 56 00:03:57,695 --> 00:04:01,241 Technically, yes, but the building costs would be astronomical. 57 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,701 Did I hear the world "astronomical"? 58 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,912 If so, my construction outfit, 59 00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:08,873 Valdazzo Brothers Olive Oil, is poised to help. 60 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,677 No, no, no, no. We're not building anything. 61 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,001 How can you say that 62 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,087 when construction has already begun? 63 00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:18,174 How did those trucks get here so fast? 64 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,010 In order to avoid certain "legal complications," 65 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,971 the trucks are always rolling. 66 00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,722 Now for the groundbreaking ceremony. 67 00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:31,145 Good lord, do we really need all those ramps? 68 00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:32,563 Who's to say? 69 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,691 Does a peacock need all those feathers? 70 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,710 Look, you're getting a little philosophical for me. 71 00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:39,696 I suppose so. They say it happens in the autumn years. 72 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:40,863 Be that as it may... 73 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,116 Get your hand off my car. 74 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:46,411 This is a proud day. 75 00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:48,579 Now when people ask if we're in compliance 76 00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:51,374 with the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1975, 77 00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:54,794 I can say we are closer than ever before! 78 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:59,215 Thank you. To inaugurate our ramp system, 79 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,800 here's the first of what I hope 80 00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:04,178 will be many disabled students, Bart Simpson. 81 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:07,265 - I'm proud of you, boy. - What the... 82 00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:09,767 - Bart, where's your wheelchair? - Don't need it any more. 83 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,020 Doctor says my butt bone's stronger than ever. 84 00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,647 Ta-da! 85 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,984 That's interesting. 86 00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:20,611 Well, at least we're prepared for the new millennium. 87 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,785 By God, the whole thing's made of bread sticks! 88 00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:29,162 And paint and shellac. 89 00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:31,080 It's all itemized in this bill. 90 00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:33,916 $200,000? Are you mad? 91 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,045 I don't get mad. I get stabby. 92 00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:42,216 The good news is we need no longer fear 93 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,926 vicious mob reprisals. 94 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:51,851 But due to lack of funds, 95 00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:54,812 Springfield Elementary is closed forever. 96 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:56,939 Yay! 97 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,108 Oh, you're cheering now, but someday you'll... 98 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,860 Yay! 99 00:06:00,943 --> 00:06:02,143 I'm just going to stop trying. 100 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,822 Yay! 101 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:11,662 - How could you close the school? - What will become of our kids? 102 00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:14,058 - Where are the refreshments? - Now, you keep asking me that 103 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,750 and I keep telling you "over there." 104 00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:20,380 As for the school, we're exploring various options 105 00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:22,924 to raise the $200,000 we need. 106 00:06:23,007 --> 00:06:24,509 I've got a motor home I never use. 107 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:25,778 Maybe we should raffle it off. 108 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,095 Maybe you should shut up. 109 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:29,263 Well, I... OK. 110 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:30,890 We could try selling liquor. 111 00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:32,141 I'm doing great. 112 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,560 Please, sir, put some shoes on. 113 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,145 What? You don't like my bags? 114 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,272 People, these are all good ideas. 115 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:41,442 No, they're not. They're terrible, terrible ideas. 116 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,361 You're right. It's hopeless. 117 00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:44,737 No one has that kind of money. 118 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:45,988 What about Mr. Burns? 119 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,657 Maybe he'll help us out. 120 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,242 Forget it. He releases the hounds 121 00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:51,244 on every charity that comes to his door... 122 00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:53,121 Feed The Children, Save The Whales, 123 00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,497 even Release The Hounds. 124 00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:57,125 Well, maybe we can pry open his wallet 125 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,460 with a slick, professional pitch. 126 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,587 A school play! 127 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:06,551 Welcome to the world premiere of... 128 00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:08,803 The Nice Man Giveth. 129 00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:10,096 Oh, focus! 130 00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:11,222 It's a play, sir. 131 00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:16,227 Hmm, which one of these is the salt? 132 00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,980 Too bad I'm an idiot 'cause my school closed. 133 00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:20,523 Oh, well. 134 00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:22,191 No, that's the rat poison! 135 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:24,735 And freeze! 136 00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:28,030 Now, who in Springfield will eat the poisoned broth? 137 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,949 Oh, it could be anyone, 138 00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:31,742 even Mr. Burns. 139 00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:33,828 This play really speaks to me. 140 00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:39,333 I can't take Mr. Burns to the hotpital 141 00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:41,377 'cause I'm too dumb to read a map. 142 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,088 Oh, why did my school have to close? 143 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,802 Hello, I'm Dr. Stupid. 144 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,971 I'm going to take out your liver bones. 145 00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:53,890 Oops, you're dead. 146 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,725 I never liked that Dr. Stupid. 147 00:07:58,060 --> 00:08:01,063 Mr. Burns, I'll be honest. We had a hidden agenda tonight. 148 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,357 - No! - The holiday season is approaching, 149 00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:05,485 and these children need a school. 150 00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:09,071 Charity, eh? Yes, I'd be more than happy... 151 00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,327 Oh, it's doing that thing again. 152 00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:16,162 We now return to. 153 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:35,515 Daytime TV is muy estupido. 154 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,850 Hey, our school's on TV. 155 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,811 Springfield Elementary has reopened its doors. 156 00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:43,271 I'm with Jim Hope 157 00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:44,857 of Kid First Industries 158 00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,234 which has generously stepped in 159 00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:47,735 to educate our children. 160 00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:49,028 That's right, Kent. You know, 161 00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:50,571 when public schools drop the ball, 162 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:51,798 it's up to the private sector 163 00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:52,907 to fall on that fumble 164 00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:54,158 and run for the end zone. 165 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:55,451 Will you be replacing 166 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,095 the current teachers and administrators? 167 00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:59,205 Very much so, Kent. But they've already received 168 00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:01,123 an extremely generous severance package. 169 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,667 "Valencia?" 170 00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:05,169 These are juice oranges! 171 00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:08,506 Howdy, children. I'd like to welcome you back to school! 172 00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:10,841 You know what? I agree. 173 00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:12,843 - Wha... - Your old school was boring. 174 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,821 That's why it failed, right? Well, we're not going 175 00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:16,639 to make you memorize facts and dates. 176 00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:17,807 No, no, no. 177 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:18,890 I'm going to find out 178 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:20,142 what you really love in life 179 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,978 and teach to that. 180 00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:23,771 What are you passionate about, partner? 181 00:09:23,854 --> 00:09:26,524 Boogers. 182 00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:29,485 "Boogers"! That was great! 183 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,946 You know, humor is a sign of intelligence. 184 00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:34,198 - You're not mad? - Hey, I'm here to make sure 185 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,534 that you get a kick out of education. 186 00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:39,245 Yay! 187 00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:40,830 He's rekindled my love affair 188 00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:41,914 with books. 189 00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:49,672 Check it out. I'm breaking books at a sixth-grade level. 190 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:50,965 Get 'em, boy! 191 00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:52,466 Hit those smart-ass books! 192 00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,385 Why don't you kick some books, Lisa? 193 00:09:54,468 --> 00:09:56,679 Bart broke all my books. 194 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,556 You know what our homework is? 195 00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:00,141 Find a toy and bring it to class. 196 00:10:00,224 --> 00:10:01,767 Boy, that sounds fun. 197 00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,811 I know, but I'm still not going to do it. 198 00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:07,189 Since Christmas is coming soon, 199 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,734 I thought we could talk about our favorite toys. 200 00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:11,569 Milhouse, what have you got there? 201 00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:12,945 My busy box. 202 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:14,238 It's got everything. 203 00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:16,741 Vroom! Vroom! Vroom! 204 00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,409 I'm calling Daddy. 205 00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:19,869 Good for you. Not being bound 206 00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:21,662 by the recommended age. 207 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,164 What are you talking about? 208 00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:25,499 Oh, jeez! 209 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:27,877 How about the rest of you? 210 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,640 What do you like about those toys of yours? 211 00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:30,796 They're special. 212 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,131 They're challenging. 213 00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:40,306 Very good. 214 00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:42,850 Now I want you all to imagine the perfect toy. 215 00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:45,645 - What would it be like? - It should be soft and cuddly. 216 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:47,313 Yeah, with lots of firepower. 217 00:10:47,396 --> 00:10:48,856 Its eyes should be telescopes. 218 00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:50,232 No, periscopes. 219 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,817 No, microscopes! 220 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:52,902 Can you come back to me? 221 00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:54,987 It should be full of surprises. 222 00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,614 It should never stop dancing. 223 00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:58,074 It should need accessories. 224 00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,659 Now that's market research 225 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,160 you can take to the bank. 226 00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:02,411 The money bank. 227 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,913 I just wish those second graders 228 00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:05,331 would stop jerking us around. 229 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:10,461 - Fun toys are fun. - Well said, Ralph. 230 00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:12,880 But we're trying to come up with a name for a toy. 231 00:11:12,963 --> 00:11:14,590 - Mrs. Fun? - Not bad. 232 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:15,674 Fun? 233 00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:17,927 Ralph, there are no right or wrong answers, 234 00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:20,054 but if you don't pipe down, I'm giving you an "F." 235 00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:22,056 The before teacher yelled at me, too. 236 00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:23,391 No one's yelling. 237 00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:25,434 We're just brainstorming names. 238 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,560 Lisa, any ideas? 239 00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:28,646 Oh, a name with fun? 240 00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:30,064 Um, fungus? 241 00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:32,316 Funzo? Attila the fun? 242 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,734 Lisa, are you doing math? 243 00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,945 Uh, just a few Venn diagrams. 244 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,863 There's more under her chair. 245 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:41,742 Lisa in trouble. 246 00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,869 Ha, the ironing is delicious. 247 00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:46,372 The word is "irony." 248 00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:48,624 Don't you think there's something weird going on here? 249 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:51,001 We spend all day selecting fabric swatches, 250 00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:54,213 and then our guest speaker was Phil from marketing. 251 00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:56,966 Alls I know is I'm getting straight As 252 00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:59,093 and that ain't not bad. 253 00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:01,971 That's not funny! 254 00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:19,864 They're spying on us. 255 00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:21,532 Why would they do that? 256 00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:23,826 I see you. 257 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:28,330 Give me a hug. 258 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,507 This better be important, Lisa. 259 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,468 I left Ralphie alone in the bathtub. 260 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,261 Daddy, I'm ready to get out now. 261 00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:43,345 Over. 262 00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,391 This broom closet is not what it seems. 263 00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:51,395 It's a secret surveillance room guarded by a tiny evil robot. 264 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:54,273 Ugh. Is this going to be like one of those horror movies 265 00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:56,484 where we open the door and everything's normal 266 00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:57,943 and we think you're crazy 267 00:12:58,027 --> 00:12:59,945 but then there really is a killer robot 268 00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:03,199 and the next morning you find me impaled on a weathervane? 269 00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:04,992 Is that what this is, Lisa? 270 00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:08,120 To be fair, not all evil robots are killers. 271 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,539 Listen, when you see what's inside this... 272 00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:15,252 I don't understand. I could swear it was right here. 273 00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:17,671 Yeah, right, mop top. And I'm Ed Sullivan. 274 00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:19,924 Really big shew... 275 00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:21,592 No, no, I can do it better. 276 00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:24,261 Really big shew, really big. That's it. 277 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:27,264 Well, folks, that's the end of Krusty's 278 00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:30,017 nondenominational holiday fun fest. 279 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,644 I want to thank my guests. 280 00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:32,978 Tea Leoni... 281 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,104 Beck... 282 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:36,482 The Dixie Chicks... 283 00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:38,275 Merry Christmas, y'all. 284 00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:41,821 ...and Patrick Ewing as the genie. 285 00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:46,534 So have a merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, kwazy Kwanza, 286 00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:51,121 a tip-top Tet, and a solemn, dignified Ramadan. 287 00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:54,708 Now a word from my God, our sponsor. 288 00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,546 I see you. 289 00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,757 Give me a hug. 290 00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:05,553 Hah! That's the doll that attacked me. 291 00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:08,931 This Christmas, everybody wants Funzo. 292 00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:11,892 Funzo? I said that name in class. 293 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:14,061 Funzo's soft and cuddly. 294 00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:15,688 With lots of firepower. 295 00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:18,357 Yes! 296 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,567 Haw haw! 297 00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:20,693 Funzo! 298 00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:22,152 Funzo! Funzo! 299 00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:23,821 If you don't have Funzo, 300 00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:25,489 you're nothing. 301 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,449 Mom, I know what I want for Christmas. 302 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,951 Bart, they lied to us. 303 00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:30,494 Instead of giving us an education, 304 00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,872 they tricked us into designing a toy. 305 00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:34,290 Aren't you outraged? 306 00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:36,166 No, but if you're going to throw a spaz, 307 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,459 - I'll come with. - Good. 308 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,169 Saddle up the bikes. 309 00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,217 Get down. Security guard. 310 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,681 Hey, it's Gary Coleman. 311 00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:53,392 But the menu said "galaxy of prawns." 312 00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:56,020 Three prawns are hardly a galaxy. 313 00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:59,565 What do you mean your hands are tied? Let me talk to Mr. Kwan. 314 00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:01,233 I want to see how this turns out. 315 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,485 The phone's not even plugged in. 316 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,571 All right, you listen to me, Kwan... 317 00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:07,740 Hang on, I got another call. 318 00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:10,743 Yes, Mr. President. I can be in Washington right away. 319 00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:18,000 You people took advantage of trusting school children. 320 00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:19,668 How did you get past Gary Coleman? 321 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,796 Let's just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy. 322 00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:29,303 I'm sorry, Gary. There's no longer a place for you here. 323 00:15:29,386 --> 00:15:31,096 Whatchu talkin' about, Miss Naegle? 324 00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,848 That is so adorable. 325 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,475 You're rehired. 326 00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:37,853 Sucker. I knew exactly what she was talking about. 327 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:46,070 Lisa, I know you're mad, but just for a damn minute 328 00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:48,989 try to see this from a product positioning standpoint. 329 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,116 Do you have any idea how much pressure we're under 330 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,786 to come up with the new Furby or Tickle Me Elmo? 331 00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:57,289 And thanks to you, Funzo is the first doll designed by children 332 00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:59,917 for children, with all the profits going to children. 333 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,085 Really? 334 00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,337 Yeah, well, we're all somebody's children. 335 00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:06,799 But, hey, we did screw you a little. So, here's a free Funzo. 336 00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:09,593 - Deal. - Oh, brother. 337 00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:12,846 And I want Funzo's Dream Fortress, 338 00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:15,516 Funzo's Lower Back Pain Chair, 339 00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:17,601 Funzo's European Voltage Converter... 340 00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,561 Why not get three? 341 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,021 Ah, three, it is. 342 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,819 Thanks, Funzo. You rock. 343 00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:29,238 All righty. 344 00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,866 It's always a party with Funzo. 345 00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:34,535 I admit it's kind of cute, 346 00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:37,329 but it'll never take the place of Malibu Stacy. 347 00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:44,044 Did you see that? 348 00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:47,006 Yeah. Funzo makes playtime fun. 349 00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:50,801 Hey, kids, it's... 350 00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:53,012 Hey, why is it destroying other toys? 351 00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:55,681 They must have programmed it to eliminate the competition. 352 00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:57,891 - You mean like Microsoft? - Exactly. 353 00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,310 Come on, Bart, we've got to warn everyone. 354 00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,861 Boycott Funzo! 355 00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:11,572 He's a toy-killing machine! 356 00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:13,449 That shy little imp? 357 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:17,745 - I have a flower for 'oo. - Aww... 358 00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,329 Oh, man, I got to get me one of those. 359 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,415 Hey, I'm not waiting till the store opens. 360 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:24,043 Get out of the way! 361 00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:28,297 Wow. Only 22 seconds from muttering to door smash. 362 00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,424 That projects to a profit of... 363 00:17:30,507 --> 00:17:32,217 $370 million. 364 00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,928 I'd still sleep a little easier if I saw some trampling. 365 00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:37,556 Ow! Ow! Ow! Hey! Ow! 366 00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:39,475 Now, why would you wear cleats to a store? 367 00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:42,561 Well, I guess that's it. 368 00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:44,605 Come Christmas eve, there'll be a Funzo 369 00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:46,315 under every tree. 370 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:47,983 Unless... 371 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:52,446 - So, who am I beating up? - Nobody. 372 00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:54,531 You're just going to break into everyone's house 373 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,116 and steal their favorite toy. 374 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,785 Thus saving Christmas. 375 00:17:57,868 --> 00:18:00,204 Now, let's see, this will make three Christmases 376 00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:04,291 I saved versus eight I ruined. Two were kind of a draw... 377 00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:06,376 Dad, Dad, you're driving on the sidewalk. 378 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:07,753 Sorry. 379 00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:13,967 Joy to the world. 380 00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:15,803 The lord is come. 381 00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:19,807 Let earth receive her king. 382 00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:22,101 - Let every... - Season's greetings. 383 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:23,227 Peace out. 384 00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:32,361 Silent night... 385 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:37,616 Holy night. 386 00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:41,078 All is calm. 387 00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:44,331 All is bright. 388 00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:45,457 Round... 389 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,754 Alrighty! 390 00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,923 Writhing Funzos. 391 00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:54,758 In my sack. 392 00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:58,512 Makes me happy makes me hurt my back. 393 00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,222 Just dump them in the fire, Dad. 394 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,516 Yes. The madness ends here. 395 00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:05,227 Huh! If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that. 396 00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:13,485 I'm very mad at 'oo. 397 00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:24,079 Well, what do we have here? 398 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,248 Looks like the biggest rip-off since Webster. 399 00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:29,376 Please, Mr. Coleman, we can explain. 400 00:19:29,459 --> 00:19:31,128 I'm listening. 401 00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:32,838 Your toy company is evil. 402 00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:34,464 Well, isn't it possible 403 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:36,550 for an evil company to make people happy? 404 00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:39,344 Are you saying the end justifies the means? 405 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,638 That's a very glib interpretation. 406 00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:43,682 Hey, don't talk to my sister that way. 407 00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:45,184 No, Bart, he's right. 408 00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,977 I did oversimplify. 409 00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:50,314 Perhaps, but let's not get bogged down in semantics. 410 00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:52,399 I think what Lisa meant to say is... 411 00:19:52,482 --> 00:19:55,777 And so Gary Coleman and the Simpsons 412 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,488 argued long into the night... 413 00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:01,116 and then, as day broke 414 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,286 the spirit of the season entered their hearts. 415 00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:07,206 Let's just agree that the commercialization of Christmas 416 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,041 is at best a mixed blessing. 417 00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:11,710 - Amen. - Yeah, amen. Amen. Amen. 418 00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:14,546 Love! 419 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,715 Hey, look out! 420 00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:25,015 Well, there's something you don't see every Christmas. 421 00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:26,808 Hey, it is Christmas. 422 00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,060 We'd better get home. 423 00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:33,482 Hey, Dad, what do you think of... 424 00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:41,156 Um, uh, Mr. Coleman, I've been thinking, 425 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,493 uh, my wife always makes too much stuffing 426 00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:46,870 and sweet p'taters and all, and... 427 00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,330 Oh, heck. 428 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:50,707 Would you like to spend Christmas with us? 429 00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:54,211 No way. I'm having Christmas at George Clooney's house. 430 00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:56,588 Gary. 431 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,048 All right, I'll come. 432 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:02,344 And Gary Coleman was as good as his word. 433 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:05,472 As for old Mr. Burns, he was visited by three ghosts 434 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:08,308 during the night and agreed to fund the school 435 00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:11,228 with some money he found in his tuxedo pants... 436 00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:13,522 Thank you, thank you. Humbug. 437 00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:16,525 ...while Moe, seeing what the world would be like 438 00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:18,402 if he had never been born 439 00:21:18,485 --> 00:21:20,153 pulled his head out of the oven 440 00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:23,615 ad replaced it with a plump Christmas goose. 441 00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,951 Here, happy holidays there. 442 00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:28,203 Merry Christmas, Moe. 443 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:31,623 Uh, listen, I kind of banged up the jeep in the driveway. 444 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,292 Whatchu talkin' about, Moe? 445 00:21:35,585 --> 00:21:38,422 Whatchu talkin' 'bout, everyone. 446 00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:32,017 Captioned by Visual Data Media Services