1
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:36,661
Did you hear that, Bart?

2
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:37,996
Maybe it was
just the cat.

3
00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:39,706
No. She's sleeping with me.

4
00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:48,298
Did you guys hear
something moving around

5
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:49,466
in the attic last night?

6
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,092
Attic? Oh, that's silly.

7
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:56,824
Seriously, though,
don't ever go up there.

8
00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:59,100
Homer, isn't it
about time for the...

9
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,351
You know.

10
00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,437
Yeah, yeah.
I'll go feed it.

11
00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,316
Fish heads, fish heads.

12
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:07,859
Do, do, do, do,
do, do, do.

13
00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:36,322
- What's up there?
- Yeah, is it a monster?

14
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:37,263
- We have to know.
- Come on, what's the secret?

15
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:38,347
No more questions.

16
00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:40,391
I work my butt off
to feed you four kids,

17
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:41,935
and all you do is...
What?

18
00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:45,396
Three.
We have three kids, Homer.

19
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,566
Yeah.
Three nosy kids.

20
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,443
And you know
what happens to nosy kids

21
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:51,611
who ask too many questions?

22
00:01:51,694 --> 00:01:52,880
- No, what?
- What does happen?

23
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:55,490
- Does something happen?
- What happens?

24
00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,119
Hurry up.

25
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:00,745
Mom and Dad
will be home soon.

26
00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:05,082
Wah!

27
00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:20,265
The unsold copies
of Dad's autobiography.

28
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:22,100
Oh, my God,
Bart, look.

29
00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:38,867
Bart, do you think
it's safe?

30
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:41,077
I don't care.
I can't breathe in here.

31
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,750
See, Marge,
who needs a car wash

32
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,878
when you can just
drive around in the rain?

33
00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:52,314
Mom, Dad, we saw something in
the attic! We saw something in the attic!

34
00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:53,631
You went into the attic?

35
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:57,677
I'm very disappointed
and terrified.

36
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,140
Oh, my God, Marge.

37
00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:03,391
It's escaped.

38
00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:12,275
Yes, doctor.

39
00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:13,776
It's what we've
always feared.

40
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:16,362
It's loose.
Hugo is loose.

41
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,156
See you soon.

42
00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:20,200
Who or what is Hugo?

43
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,452
I'm afraid we haven't been

44
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,996
entirely honest with you, Bart.

45
00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:27,582
You see...
you have a brother.

46
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,000
So, I have two brothers?

47
00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:30,335
Lisa, please.

48
00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:32,337
Yes, Bart, you have
a twin brother.

49
00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:34,839
You see, when you
were born, there was...

50
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,549
an irregularity.

51
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:39,052
A monstrous irregularity.

52
00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:43,473
Yes, I remember
Bart's birth well.

53
00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:49,270
You don't forget a thing
like... Siamese twins.

54
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:52,607
I believe they prefer to be
called "conjoined twins."

55
00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:55,568
And hillbillies prefer to be
called "sons of the soil,"

56
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:56,819
but it ain't
gonna happen.

57
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,364
Now, normally the birth
of Siamese twins

58
00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:02,242
is a joyous occasion,
but unfortunately

59
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:05,119
one of them was pure evil.

60
00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:16,130
I think I'll
bottle feed that one.

61
00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:17,924
A routine soul smear

62
00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:19,509
confirmed the presence
of pure evil.

63
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,135
It was then I knew
the only option

64
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,304
was to separate you two
immediately.

65
00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,266
You'll both need
to sign these.

66
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,441
But what to do
with poor Hugo?

67
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,527
Too crazy for boys town,

68
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,946
too much of a boy
for crazy town...

69
00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:41,614
The child was an outcast.

70
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,992
So we did the only
humane thing.

71
00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:46,411
We chained Hugo up
in the attic like an animal

72
00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:48,913
and fed him a bucket
of fish heads once a week.

73
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:50,540
It saved our marriage.

74
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,667
You expect me
to believe all this?

75
00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:53,960
If any of it was true,

76
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:56,546
wouldn't I have
a big, hideous scar... Wha!

77
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,589
We've got to find Hugo.

78
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,133
We'll search out
every place

79
00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:02,135
a sick, twisted, solitary
misfit might run to.

80
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:03,511
I'll start with
Radio Shack.

81
00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:05,972
Right.

82
00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:08,141
Bart, you stay home
and tape the hockey game.

83
00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:22,155
You're here...
aren't you?

84
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:24,574
Yes, Bart.
I never left you.

85
00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:27,785
What do you want
from me?

86
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:30,496
You'll see...
after the surgery.

87
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,502
- You're crazy.
- Am I?

88
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:39,088
Well, perhaps we're all
a little crazy.

89
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,298
I know I am.

90
00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:41,883
I went mad
after they tore us apart,

91
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:45,595
but I'll be sane
once I sew us back together.

92
00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:48,556
But you'll kill both of us.

93
00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:51,684
No. It's easy.
Look, I've been practicing.

94
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:52,768
I made a pigeon-rat.

95
00:05:58,399 --> 00:05:59,567
Well, let's get started.

96
00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:01,003
You want to be
on the right or the left?

97
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,237
Hugo, stop!

98
00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:08,326
There, there, Hugo,
I understand.

99
00:06:08,409 --> 00:06:10,495
All those years
caged up in here...

100
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,497
Why, you've probably
never even seen

101
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,874
your own face
in the mirror, have you?

102
00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:15,957
Here.

103
00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:22,590
We think we saw Hugo
at the airport.

104
00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:24,384
He was boarding
a plane to Switzerland...

105
00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:30,973
You know,
isn't it interesting

106
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,142
how the left,
or sinister twin

107
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,852
is invariably
the evil one.

108
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:37,021
I had this theory that...

109
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:38,648
Wait a minute.

110
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:42,527
Hugo's scar is
on the wrong side.

111
00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:45,613
He couldn't have been
the evil left twin.

112
00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:50,618
That means the evil twin
is and always has been... Bart.

113
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:55,957
Oh, don't look so shocked.

114
00:06:56,040 --> 00:07:00,837
Well... chalk this one up
to carelessness on my part.

115
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,632
But I think there's a way
to set everything right.

116
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,222
Care for a drumstick, Hugo?

117
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,519
Mom, Hugo 's
eating his napkin.

118
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:20,440
He's so cute.

119
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,150
Hey, can I have
some turkey?

120
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:24,193
No. You finish
your fish heads.

121
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,277
Then we'll talk.

122
00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:36,164
This tooth will be perfect
for my science project.

123
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,293
Science has already
proven the dangers

124
00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:42,378
of smoking, alcohol
and Chinese food

125
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:45,131
but I can still ruin
soft drinks for everyone.

126
00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:48,926
Hey, Lis, check out
my science project.

127
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,220
Ow! What's that
supposed to prove?

128
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,638
That nerds
conduct electricity.

129
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,440
Stupid, Bart.

130
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,285
Oh, boy, mold.

131
00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:16,204
That's science fair pay dirt.

132
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,043
Looks about the same.

133
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,092
Tiny little people?

134
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:35,264
My God!
I've created life.

135
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:40,811
Lisa! Breakfast!
We're having waffles!

136
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,104
Ooh, waffles.

137
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:47,735
Hey, these aren't waffles.

138
00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:49,737
These are just
square pancakes.

139
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,030
I'm sorry, honey.

140
00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:52,323
The waffle iron's
in the shop.

141
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,827
That waffle iron's been
in the shop forever.

142
00:08:56,911 --> 00:09:00,373
So, how are my little
stone age tub dwellers?

143
00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:02,250
Oh, my gosh.

144
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,293
They're evolving so quickly.

145
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:05,937
They've already reached
the Renaissance.

146
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:08,214
Wait. One of them
is nailing something

147
00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:09,966
to the door
of the cathedral.

148
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,093
I've created Lutherans.

149
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:24,981
Wow. It's almost like
seeing into the future.

150
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:27,692
Hey, what is this goo?
You trying to grow a friend?

151
00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:30,570
Hey, you built a model city.

152
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:31,988
Is that the school?

153
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,406
Whoops, my finger slipped.

154
00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:35,324
Oops, my finger slipped.

155
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,408
Oops, my finger slipped.

156
00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:37,493
Bart, stop it!

157
00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:48,462
Oh, my poor little guys.

158
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,673
That Bart is so rude.

159
00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:19,576
What the heck?

160
00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:36,719
Your micro-jerks
attacked me.

161
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:39,722
Well, you practically
destroyed their whole world.

162
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,515
You can't protect
them every second.

163
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:44,769
Sooner or later you'll let your guard down
and then flush.

164
00:10:44,852 --> 00:10:47,271
It's toilet time
for tiny town.

165
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:06,582
It worked!
The debigulator worked!

166
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:11,003
Hail, Lisa.

167
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:15,257
Welcome to our world,
most gracious Lisa.

168
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:16,926
Your world is incredible,

169
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,344
and you speak English.

170
00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:19,762
We have listened to you speak

171
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,514
since the dawn of time,
o, creator

172
00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:25,226
and we have learned
to imatoot you exarktly.

173
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:28,479
You think I'm God?

174
00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:29,730
But of course.

175
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,565
You look down on us
from heaven.

176
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:32,858
You gave us life

177
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,569
and only your
divine intervention

178
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,488
can save us
from the devil.

179
00:11:37,571 --> 00:11:39,073
The devil?
What devil?

180
00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:42,243
The one you call "Bart."

181
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:48,374
Oh, no, no, no, no,
you don't understand.

182
00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:49,875
Bart's just my brother.

183
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:52,420
The devil is
your brother?

184
00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:58,718
I must say we find
that quite perplexing.

185
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:00,761
Uh, God, hi.
Bill Watson.

186
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,179
I, uh, live
in the Clark building.

187
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,473
I have a question.
If you're so good,

188
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,684
why do you allow
bad things to happen?

189
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:08,602
Why am I so fat?

190
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:11,105
Why do bad things
happen to good people?

191
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:14,984
Listen, I can take care
of everything.

192
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:16,777
All you have to do
is unshrink me.

193
00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:18,237
Unshrink you?

194
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,031
Well, that would require
some sort of a rebigulator

195
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:22,450
which is a concept
so ridiculous

196
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:24,452
it makes me want to laugh
out loud and chortle,

197
00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:27,788
uh, but not at you,
o holiest of gods

198
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,392
with the wrathfulness
and the vengeance

199
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:30,499
and the blood-rain

200
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,084
and the hey, hey, hey,
it hurts me.

201
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,545
Look, the destroyer!
He returns!

202
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,090
Help!

203
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,759
Save us, Lisa!

204
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:42,303
Bart, no!

205
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:47,892
First rate work, Bart.

206
00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:49,935
This universe
you've created

207
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:52,813
is even more impressive than
Martin's milk carton ukulele.

208
00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:55,065
Willie, you can throw out
the other projects.

209
00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:56,525
We have a winner.

210
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,447
Principal Skinner, wait!

211
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,449
I created the universe!

212
00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:05,785
Give me the gift certificate!

213
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,286
Ah, great.

214
00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:09,497
I'm stuck in this lousy tub
for the rest of my life.

215
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,751
Shouldn't you people
be groveling?

216
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,880
And bring me some shoes.
Nice ones.

217
00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:19,673
She'll want socks too.
I'll get socks.

218
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:29,266
Ah, the old fishin' hole.

219
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:32,061
So peaceful and relaxing.

220
00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:35,689
Doesn't even matter
if I catch a single fish.

221
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,778
Come on, you stupid fish!
Take the bait!

222
00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:42,696
Don't make me come down there.

223
00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:47,910
What the...
Son of a...

224
00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:01,799
Oh, my God!

225
00:14:01,882 --> 00:14:03,551
Space aliens!
Don't eat me!

226
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,594
I have a wife and kids!

227
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,221
- Eat them!
- Silence!

228
00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:08,347
We are travelers

229
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:10,224
from a certain
nearby ringed planet

230
00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:12,518
whose name we'd prefer
not to mention.

231
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,854
My name is Kang.

232
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,647
And this is
my sister Kodos.

233
00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:17,898
Hello.

234
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,568
I suppose
you want to probe me.

235
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:23,529
Well, might as well
get it over with.

236
00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:25,698
Stop. We have reached
the limits

237
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,992
of what rectal probing
can teach us.

238
00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:30,411
This is a mission of conquest.

239
00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:31,996
Take us to your leader.

240
00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:33,706
I guess you mean
President Clinton.

241
00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:36,250
He usually hangs around Washington, D.C.

242
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,460
President Clin-ton.

243
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:39,920
Excellent.

244
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,715
Except... um, there's
this election next week

245
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:44,967
so after that,
it might not be him anymore.

246
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:49,972
It might be what's-his-name,
uh, mumbly-Joe...

247
00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:52,683
I saw him on TV the other...

248
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:54,768
Uh... Bob Dole.

249
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:59,023
Hmm... an election.
That complicates matters.

250
00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:01,775
Set grid coordinates
for Bob Dole.

251
00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:05,362
Well, night everybody.

252
00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:07,206
- Good night, senator.
- Good luck next week.

253
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:08,489
What?

254
00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:11,619
Bob Dole doesn't need this.

255
00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:17,750
Wha-wha-what's happening?

256
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,084
Is it noon already?

257
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,761
What the hell is this,
some kind of tube?

258
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:30,179
Hey...

259
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:32,431
Well, thanks for taking care
of Dole for me.

260
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:33,514
Hey!

261
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:42,566
Commence
bio-duplication.

262
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,035
Oh, no.
Aliens...

263
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,829
bio-duplication,
nude conspiracies.

264
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,624
Oh, my God!
Lyndon Larouche was right!

265
00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:00,209
What?
Are you still here?

266
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:03,879
I'm afraid we'll have
to dispose of you.

267
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,884
No! No! What are you
spraying me with?

268
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:12,930
Rum. So no one
will believe your story.

269
00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:15,598
And don't come back.

270
00:16:19,728 --> 00:16:22,189
Kent Brockman here
with "Campaign '96."

271
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:24,608
America flips a coin.

272
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,628
At an appearance this morning
President Clinton made

273
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,320
some rather cryptic remarks

274
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:31,198
which aides attributed to
an overly tight necktie.

275
00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:33,200
I am Clin-ton.

276
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:36,662
As overlord, all will kneel
trembling before me

277
00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:38,747
and obey my brutal commands.

278
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,249
End communication.

279
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,334
That's slick Willie for you.

280
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:43,919
Always with the smooth talk.

281
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,337
Marge! Marge!

282
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:47,089
There I was,
I had just caught

283
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:49,216
the largest fish
you'd ever seen,

284
00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:51,927
when I was abducted
by a flying saucer.

285
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,846
Sure you were, rummy.

286
00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:56,181
That's one of the creatures!

287
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,142
Senator Dole, why should
people vote for you

288
00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:00,144
instead of
President Clinton?

289
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:02,813
It makes no difference
which one of us you vote for.

290
00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:06,400
Either way,
your planet is doomed.

291
00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:08,527
Doomed!

292
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,571
Well, a refreshingly
frank response there

293
00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:12,197
from Senator Bob Dole.

294
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:15,617
These candidates make me want
to vomit in terror.

295
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,578
I've got to stop them.

296
00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:21,999
Ladies and gentlemen,
73-year-old candidate Bob Dole.

297
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,878
Abortions for all.

298
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:30,049
Very well.

299
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:32,051
No abortions for anyone.

300
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,681
Abortions for some,

301
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:40,100
miniature American flags
for others.

302
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:46,315
Fooling these earth voters
is easier than expected.

303
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,233
Yes. All they
want to hear

304
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,735
are bland pleasantries

305
00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:51,445
embellished by
an occasional

306
00:17:51,528 --> 00:17:54,198
saxophone solo
or infant kiss.

307
00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:57,284
Uh, Mr. President, sir,

308
00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:59,870
people are becoming
a bit confused

309
00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:01,393
by the way you
and your opponent are,

310
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:04,416
well, constantly
holding hands.

311
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:07,711
We are merely exchanging
long protein strings.

312
00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:09,463
If you can think
of a simpler way,

313
00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:10,756
I'd like to hear it.

314
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:19,598
My fellow Americans,

315
00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:23,769
as a young boy I dreamed
of being a baseball.

316
00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:28,482
But tonight, I say we must
move forward, not backward,

317
00:18:28,565 --> 00:18:30,776
upward, not forward,

318
00:18:30,859 --> 00:18:34,988
and always twirling,
twirling, twirling

319
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:36,365
towards freedom.

320
00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:46,250
Stop! Those candidates
are phonies!

321
00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:51,922
You heard me.
They're alien replicons

322
00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:53,173
from beyond the moon.

323
00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:01,932
Don't forget
your stinking flag.

324
00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:05,102
Oh, why won't anyone
believe my crazy story?

325
00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,571
Hold on, guys.
I'll help you.

326
00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:21,785
Oh, no, am I still here?

327
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:25,205
I don't want to serve out
my term naked in a tube.

328
00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:28,542
I am so mad at the secret
service right now.

329
00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:29,543
Hey, who the hell
are you?

330
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,461
I'm Homer Simpson, sir.

331
00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:33,630
And I'm going to get you
back to Washington

332
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,340
before it's too late.

333
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:39,595
You know, senator, being in
suspended animation

334
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,054
gave me time to think.

335
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:44,057
Partisan politics
are tearing our country apart.

336
00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:45,726
You got a point
there, Bill.

337
00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:47,871
If you and I are going to whip these
one-eyed space fellas,

338
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,622
we're gonna have to
set aside our differences.

339
00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:53,817
Together we can lead America
into a new golden age.

340
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:55,235
Friend, you got a deal.

341
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:56,945
Homer, let us out.

342
00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:00,324
It's time to tear those
aliens a third corn chute.

343
00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:04,036
Num, num, num, num... there.

344
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:12,669
Oh, no.
What have I done?

345
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,838
What am I doing?
What will I do?

346
00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:18,926
The politics
of failure have failed.

347
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:21,136
We need to make them
work again.

348
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,223
Tomorrow when you are sealed
in the voting cubicle,

349
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:28,268
vote for me, Senator Ka...
Bob Dole.

350
00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:35,234
I am looking forward to
an orderly election tomorrow

351
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:36,693
which will eliminate
the need

352
00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:38,445
for a violent bloodbath.

353
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:49,373
America, take a good look
at your beloved candidates.

354
00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:52,709
They're nothing
but hideous space reptiles.

355
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,093
It's true.
We are aliens.

356
00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:03,262
But what are you going
to do about it?

357
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:04,888
It's a two-party system.

358
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:07,015
You have to vote
for one of us.

359
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,393
He's right.
This is a two-party system.

360
00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:12,062
Well, I believe I'll vote
for a third party candidate.

361
00:21:12,145 --> 00:21:15,524
Go ahead...
Throw your vote away.

362
00:21:26,326 --> 00:21:30,163
All hail President Kang.

363
00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:45,262
I don't understand
why we have to build a ray gun

364
00:21:45,345 --> 00:21:48,015
to aim at a planet
I never even heard of.

365
00:21:48,098 --> 00:21:50,767
Don't blame me.
I voted for Kodos.

366
00:22:43,487 --> 00:22:46,698
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