1
00:00:38,046 --> 00:00:40,335
This place is gonna smell classy
all week.
2
00:00:40,548 --> 00:00:43,003
To Homer, the Wall Street genius!
3
00:00:52,975 --> 00:00:56,094
Hey, Homer, how come you get
money to burn? Or singe, anyway.
4
00:00:56,269 --> 00:00:59,388
-Yeah, what's your secret investment?
-Take a guess.
5
00:00:59,939 --> 00:01:01,516
Pumpkins?
6
00:01:01,690 --> 00:01:05,272
Yeah, that's right, Barney.
This year, I invested in pumpkins.
7
00:01:05,443 --> 00:01:07,816
They've been going up
the whole month of October.
8
00:01:07,987 --> 00:01:11,486
And I got a feeling they're gonna peak
right around January.
9
00:01:11,657 --> 00:01:14,065
And bang! That's when I'll cash in.
10
00:01:14,284 --> 00:01:16,692
To Homer!
And to Sergeant Pepper...
11
00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:20,037
...who's growing out of
the middle of your back!
12
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:23,701
Barn, you gotta unwrap the
plastic before you smoke these.
13
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,198
-Hey, Homer.
-Yeah!
14
00:01:25,376 --> 00:01:27,582
-Hey, Homer.
-Way to go.
15
00:01:31,757 --> 00:01:35,707
I told you a hundred times, you gotta sell
your pumpkin futures before Halloween.
16
00:01:35,927 --> 00:01:39,010
Let's not panic. I'll make the money back
by selling a liver.
17
00:01:39,179 --> 00:01:40,555
I can get by with one.
18
00:01:41,139 --> 00:01:43,808
Oh, how am I gonna tell Marge
we're broke?
19
00:01:44,142 --> 00:01:45,933
I need a miracle.
20
00:01:46,102 --> 00:01:47,928
My house is on fire!
21
00:01:48,103 --> 00:01:49,894
Insurance to the rescue!
22
00:01:54,483 --> 00:01:56,559
-Hello, Homer.
-Hello, Homer.
23
00:01:57,611 --> 00:01:59,485
Marge, we had a deal.
24
00:01:59,654 --> 00:02:03,604
Your sisters don't come here after 6,
and I stop eating your lipstick.
25
00:02:03,783 --> 00:02:05,574
This is a special occasion.
26
00:02:05,784 --> 00:02:07,943
Patty and Selma just got promoted
at the DMV.
27
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:12,615
Yeah, Homer. Let your wife
have a glimpse of success for once.
28
00:02:12,832 --> 00:02:15,785
All right, that's the last straw.
29
00:02:16,210 --> 00:02:18,534
Time to take out the trash!
30
00:02:18,712 --> 00:02:21,380
But first, I'm going to have to ask you
to leave.
31
00:02:30,596 --> 00:02:33,051
I'm sorry.
Homer doesn't mean to be rude.
32
00:02:33,223 --> 00:02:35,679
He's just a very complicated man.
33
00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:37,179
Wrong!
34
00:02:37,352 --> 00:02:40,186
When are you going to wake up
and smell your husband, Marge?
35
00:02:40,354 --> 00:02:42,015
You got some kids out of him.
36
00:02:42,189 --> 00:02:45,356
But when the seeds have been planted,
you throw away the envelope.
37
00:02:45,567 --> 00:02:49,351
I wish you wouldn't put Homer down.
He may not be a big success like you...
38
00:02:49,528 --> 00:02:52,897
...but I can always count on him
to provide for the family.
39
00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:57,284
Sweet, trusting Marge, I can't let you
down. I'll get some money somehow.
40
00:03:01,371 --> 00:03:04,373
Hello, Vegas?
Give me a hundred bucks on red.
41
00:03:04,999 --> 00:03:07,372
All right. I'll send you a check.
42
00:03:09,586 --> 00:03:11,627
If only I could think of an invention.
43
00:03:11,797 --> 00:03:13,671
Something that would
really make money.
44
00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:18,086
Must concentrate and work
harder than I've ever worked...
45
00:03:23,306 --> 00:03:24,848
Congratulations, Mr. Simpson.
46
00:03:25,016 --> 00:03:28,717
This invention of yours has made us
all rich, especially you.
47
00:03:28,894 --> 00:03:32,262
It's simple, yet ingenious.
And it fits right in the palm of your hand.
48
00:03:32,438 --> 00:03:36,104
Every person in America now owns one
of these. In many cases, three or four.
49
00:03:36,275 --> 00:03:37,852
Can I just get a look at that?
50
00:03:38,026 --> 00:03:41,811
Why would you need to see it? You're
the genius who invented the product.
51
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:43,649
-But could I just--?
-Don't worry.
52
00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:47,239
You'll get to see it just as soon
as we unveil our new ad campaign.
53
00:03:49,286 --> 00:03:51,326
-Let me see! Out of the way!
-Homer!
54
00:03:51,537 --> 00:03:54,989
Homer, wake up! There's still
a few minutes fill our usual bedtime.
55
00:03:55,165 --> 00:03:57,040
No! My invention!
56
00:03:57,209 --> 00:03:59,415
-My money problems could've--
-Money problems?
57
00:03:59,586 --> 00:04:02,160
Homer, are we in some sort
of fiduciary trouble?
58
00:04:05,507 --> 00:04:07,832
Oh, Marge, my loyal wife...
59
00:04:08,051 --> 00:04:09,712
...of course not.
60
00:04:10,136 --> 00:04:12,840
And Lisa, my little princess.
61
00:04:13,013 --> 00:04:15,682
And who could forget dear Rat Boy?
62
00:04:15,849 --> 00:04:18,850
Rat Boy? I resent that.
63
00:04:19,519 --> 00:04:22,271
Bart, I told you before.
Stop gnawing on the drywall.
64
00:04:22,813 --> 00:04:26,514
What a day, eh, Milhouse?
The sun is out, birds are singing...
65
00:04:26,691 --> 00:04:29,609
...bees are trying to have sex
with them, as I understand it.
66
00:04:29,777 --> 00:04:33,692
It is a gorgeously fabulous day.
Marvelous, even.
67
00:04:33,905 --> 00:04:37,737
So, what's your hurry
to get to school?
68
00:04:37,909 --> 00:04:41,325
Nothing. What's your hurry?
69
00:04:43,163 --> 00:04:46,780
That's enough, Bart. Fun is fun,
but if we're late, we'll get in trouble.
70
00:04:46,958 --> 00:04:50,125
You're right, Milhouse.
Fun is fun.
71
00:04:54,672 --> 00:04:58,338
Attention, students. It's time to choose
a gym class for the coming term.
72
00:04:58,509 --> 00:05:00,300
So let's prove how adult we can be...
73
00:05:00,469 --> 00:05:02,924
...by filing to the gym
in a calm, orderly manner.
74
00:05:03,096 --> 00:05:07,260
Even though it's first come, first serve,
and the popular sports fill up fast.
75
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,179
Too many wee ones!
76
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:17,516
This gets uglier every year.
Any sign of Bart and Milhouse?
77
00:05:17,691 --> 00:05:21,357
No, and if they don't get here soon,
it'll be T.S. for them.
78
00:05:24,447 --> 00:05:26,107
I don't feel right.
79
00:05:27,699 --> 00:05:30,108
Do you hear that, Bart?
That was the tardy bell!
80
00:05:30,285 --> 00:05:33,986
"Truant! Truant! Truant!"
they'll all say!
81
00:05:34,163 --> 00:05:37,579
Who needs him?
I can have fun all by myself.
82
00:05:37,749 --> 00:05:42,328
It's all right? It's all right.
It's all right? It's all right.
83
00:05:44,672 --> 00:05:46,877
Sure, Homer, I can loan
you the money you need.
84
00:05:47,090 --> 00:05:50,008
However, since you
have no collateral...
85
00:05:50,176 --> 00:05:52,928
...I'm gonna have to break your legs
in advance.
86
00:05:53,095 --> 00:05:55,219
Gosh, Moe.
I use these all the time.
87
00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:58,141
-Couldn't you bash my head in?
-Hey, are you a loan shark?
88
00:05:58,308 --> 00:06:00,597
Do you understand
how finance works?
89
00:06:00,768 --> 00:06:02,844
Now, let's do this thing.
90
00:06:09,609 --> 00:06:12,562
-Oh, no. It's P.E. sign-up day.
-How could you forget?
91
00:06:12,736 --> 00:06:14,812
They had signs posted
all over the library.
92
00:06:14,988 --> 00:06:18,938
Better sign up for something fast, man.
Baseball just filled up--
93
00:06:19,116 --> 00:06:21,785
So did tae Kwon do.
94
00:06:30,959 --> 00:06:32,786
There's only one class left...
95
00:06:32,961 --> 00:06:35,914
...but it happens to be
the coolest one of all.
96
00:06:37,298 --> 00:06:39,788
Ballet? Dancing is for girls.
97
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:42,042
Well, you should've gotten here earlier.
98
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,926
I need an extension
on my mortgage payments.
99
00:06:46,097 --> 00:06:48,931
I understand, Mr. Simpson,
but according to our computer...
100
00:06:49,099 --> 00:06:50,807
...your credit history is not good.
101
00:06:51,017 --> 00:06:54,386
It says here that you've been
pre-declined for every major credit card.
102
00:06:54,562 --> 00:06:57,231
It also says that you grabbed a dog
by the hind legs...
103
00:06:57,398 --> 00:07:00,232
-...and pushed him like a vacuum.
-In the third grade!
104
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,191
It all goes on your permanent record.
105
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,899
Sorry, but if you don't have
that money by tomorrow...
106
00:07:05,112 --> 00:07:07,817
-...the bank will take your house.
-Good luck finding it.
107
00:07:07,990 --> 00:07:11,109
-I'll take the numbers off.
-We'll find a house with no numbers.
108
00:07:11,284 --> 00:07:13,075
I'll take off my neighbor's numbers.
109
00:07:13,244 --> 00:07:17,028
So then we'll look for the house next
to the house with no numbers.
110
00:07:17,456 --> 00:07:19,911
All right, you'll get your money.
111
00:07:20,125 --> 00:07:24,122
You're my last, last chance, bottom
of the barrel, Hail Mary, long shot...
112
00:07:24,295 --> 00:07:27,830
...wish you would, but probably won't,
final resort to lend me money.
113
00:07:28,006 --> 00:07:31,043
-We'll take care of you.
-Yes. Care.
114
00:07:52,192 --> 00:07:55,644
Cut him a check
and get him the hell out of here.
115
00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:03,109
What a wonderful dinner.
What a beautiful family.
116
00:08:03,285 --> 00:08:05,277
Get a picture of me with this steak.
117
00:08:05,453 --> 00:08:07,410
You're certainly in a good mood, Dad.
118
00:08:07,580 --> 00:08:10,996
Well, Lisa, I managed to solve
a little problem today.
119
00:08:11,166 --> 00:08:14,168
And to celebrate,
I'm going to tilt my chair.
120
00:08:17,046 --> 00:08:19,287
Shanty.
121
00:08:19,965 --> 00:08:21,792
Patty, Selma.
What are you doing here?
122
00:08:22,384 --> 00:08:25,088
We thought we'd stop by
unexpectedly for dinner.
123
00:08:25,261 --> 00:08:28,179
Now, bring us extra chairs
like a good "blubber"-in-law.
124
00:08:28,347 --> 00:08:29,842
Time to fertilize the lawn.
125
00:08:30,015 --> 00:08:33,052
A couple of BOO-pound bags
should do it!
126
00:08:33,268 --> 00:08:36,138
Be careful with my sisters' heads.
Their necks are brittle.
127
00:08:36,312 --> 00:08:38,222
That's okay, Marge.
Nothing's broke.
128
00:08:38,397 --> 00:08:40,354
Except Homer.
129
00:08:40,565 --> 00:08:43,982
-What's that supposed to mean?
-It means--
130
00:08:44,235 --> 00:08:49,905
It means these two fabulous babes
are staying for dinner.
131
00:08:50,073 --> 00:08:52,908
Now, there's a stink
I could've done without.
132
00:08:53,117 --> 00:08:55,691
This has been such a nice,
peaceful dinner.
133
00:08:55,869 --> 00:09:00,282
It calls for a celebration. I'll make the
most international coffee in the house:
134
00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:03,540
Montreal Morn.
135
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,452
All right, you had your fun,
now get lost.
136
00:09:07,629 --> 00:09:09,206
Our fun hasn't begun yet.
137
00:09:13,259 --> 00:09:16,461
We know something
you don't want Marge to know.
138
00:09:16,636 --> 00:09:20,800
Now we own you,
like Siegfried owns Roy.
139
00:09:20,973 --> 00:09:24,176
I'm sorry. All we have is Nescafé.
140
00:09:24,351 --> 00:09:28,977
-I'm very, very sorry.
-Oh, Marge, Marge. You're just in time.
141
00:09:29,147 --> 00:09:31,815
Homer's getting ready
to give us afoot rub.
142
00:09:31,982 --> 00:09:34,390
-You are?
-No! I--
143
00:09:36,152 --> 00:09:39,236
I'm giving them afoot massage.
144
00:09:39,447 --> 00:09:41,487
At least let me have that.
145
00:09:41,657 --> 00:09:43,697
You can start with the cams.
146
00:09:43,867 --> 00:09:46,358
Then you can move on
to bunion country.
147
00:09:47,245 --> 00:09:49,404
Okay. Steady, Bart.
148
00:09:49,580 --> 00:09:52,913
Taking ballet doesn't make you
any less of a man.
149
00:09:57,795 --> 00:10:01,840
All right, girls. Today we learn
the dance of the fairy queens.
150
00:10:02,007 --> 00:10:05,873
You can either be a fairy or a queen.
It's wide open.
151
00:10:07,970 --> 00:10:09,631
And what have we here?
152
00:10:09,805 --> 00:10:12,889
A young man maybe who thinks
he can be the next Baryshnikov.
153
00:10:13,057 --> 00:10:16,924
I don't wanna be the next anything.
They made me take this stupid class.
154
00:10:17,102 --> 00:10:20,934
So he has fire in the belly.
But it will take more than belly fire...
155
00:10:21,106 --> 00:10:25,056
-...to be the next Baryshnikov!
-Look, Boris, I think ballet's for sissies.
156
00:10:25,985 --> 00:10:28,689
Ballet is for the strong,
the fierce, the determined.
157
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:30,938
But for the Sissies, never.
158
00:10:31,114 --> 00:10:35,111
Now. put on this fuchsia-tam.
You are a fairy!
159
00:10:36,827 --> 00:10:38,737
-Quitting time.
-On the way home...
160
00:10:38,912 --> 00:10:42,411
-...we'll stop at Moe's for a Zima.
-Maybe I'll stay and work overtime.
161
00:10:42,582 --> 00:10:45,583
My sisters-in-law
are at my house again.
162
00:10:45,751 --> 00:10:47,412
Homer, quit wallowing in self-pity.
163
00:10:47,586 --> 00:10:50,076
Pull yourself together
and come get drunk with us.
164
00:10:56,259 --> 00:10:59,545
-Is something wrong, Mr. Simpson?
-I don't like wearing tights.
165
00:10:59,721 --> 00:11:02,259
But so many of your heroes
wear tights.
166
00:11:02,431 --> 00:11:06,974
-Batman, for example. And Magellan.
-Look, I don't like this cootie platoon...
167
00:11:07,143 --> 00:11:10,761
...and I never will. I'm out of here,
and I'm out of this stupid outfit.
168
00:11:15,025 --> 00:11:17,599
Wait!
Joy of movement, increasing.
169
00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:19,901
Love of dance, impossible to resist.
170
00:11:21,613 --> 00:11:24,946
Toes twinkling. Look at me, girls.
171
00:11:25,116 --> 00:11:28,533
I'm doing ballet. And I love it!
172
00:11:31,330 --> 00:11:34,449
Am I wrong.
or did it just get fatter in here?
173
00:11:34,624 --> 00:11:38,539
-Request permission to slink by.
-Permission pending.
174
00:11:38,711 --> 00:11:41,249
First, light our cigarettes.
175
00:11:41,421 --> 00:11:43,331
But you're already smoking Gig--
176
00:11:46,551 --> 00:11:49,469
-You're really pushing it.
-Come on, Homer.
177
00:11:49,636 --> 00:11:53,005
You can't spell "obsequious"
without I-O-U.
178
00:11:53,181 --> 00:11:56,432
-I'll have to trust you on that.
-Marge was always a good speller.
179
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,759
-Let's ask her.
-No! Don't tell Marge!
180
00:11:58,936 --> 00:12:01,142
I'll be good. I'll be good.
181
00:12:06,233 --> 00:12:11,476
Just for that, you have to crawl around
on the floor like the dog you are.
182
00:12:11,654 --> 00:12:14,857
But-- Yes, ma'am.
183
00:12:15,658 --> 00:12:21,197
Now say, "I am Homer Simpson,
the lowly dog." In a dog voice!
184
00:12:21,412 --> 00:12:24,911
-I am Homer Simpson.
-Well, good. Jump, Homer, jump.
185
00:12:25,082 --> 00:12:28,000
-What's going on in here?
-Absolutely nothing, Marge.
186
00:12:28,168 --> 00:12:29,710
-What's that paper?
-What paper?
187
00:12:34,631 --> 00:12:37,799
Homer, is this projection accurate?
188
00:12:37,968 --> 00:12:40,838
-Did you borrow money from my sisters?
-I don't know, Marge.
189
00:12:41,012 --> 00:12:43,681
I can't keep track
of all my wheelings and dealings.
190
00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:47,892
-He blew your savings on jack-o'-lanterns.
-You told!
191
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,014
Sorry, Marge.
192
00:12:56,566 --> 00:12:59,401
I never want to see you again!
You either.
193
00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:02,979
Homer.
Homer, why didn't you tell me?
194
00:13:03,155 --> 00:13:06,820
I was ashamed, Marge.
I failed you as a husband and a provider.
195
00:13:06,991 --> 00:13:09,482
And at best, I was a B-plus dog.
196
00:13:10,161 --> 00:13:12,913
I'll understand if you wanna sleep
on the couch tonight.
197
00:13:18,209 --> 00:13:22,254
-How's Dad today?
-Not too good, Lisa.
198
00:13:22,421 --> 00:13:26,667
-Frankly, he's underneath the table.
-Nobody make me any breakfast.
199
00:13:26,841 --> 00:13:29,214
A man so deeply in debt
doesn't deserve it.
200
00:13:29,385 --> 00:13:31,591
But I like to make you breakfast.
201
00:13:31,761 --> 00:13:35,712
In that case, I'll just have French toast
with double butter and a side of bacon.
202
00:13:35,890 --> 00:13:39,342
But no powdered sugar, I don't deserve it.
Maybe a little powdered sugar.
203
00:13:46,649 --> 00:13:49,602
See that?
I started to do, like, a little arabesque.
204
00:13:49,818 --> 00:13:53,435
But then I just fully went for it
and pulled off the Demi-entrechat.
205
00:13:53,613 --> 00:13:55,404
Not that I'm into that kind of thing.
206
00:13:56,824 --> 00:14:00,987
Bravissimo, Bart!
Next week, class gives its first recital.
207
00:14:01,161 --> 00:14:04,612
And you, you will dance the male lead.
208
00:14:04,788 --> 00:14:08,205
Dance in front of my whole school?
What is it with you and ballet?
209
00:14:08,375 --> 00:14:11,743
I know you have great conflict, Bart.
You love ballet.
210
00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:15,454
Yet you feel the boys
will laugh at you, no?
211
00:14:15,631 --> 00:14:17,422
No, I fear the girls
will laugh at me.
212
00:14:17,591 --> 00:14:19,999
I fear the boys will beat
the snot out of me.
213
00:14:21,802 --> 00:14:25,301
-Hey, Dad. What you doing?
-Daddy has very important work to do.
214
00:14:25,472 --> 00:14:28,556
He's looking through the want ads
to find a part-time job.
215
00:14:28,725 --> 00:14:31,014
Dad, that's a gag paper
we got at the carnival.
216
00:14:31,394 --> 00:14:35,474
No wonder I didn't hear about Bart being
elected world's greatest sex machine.
217
00:14:35,647 --> 00:14:38,351
-I'll never pay off that debt!
-Need money fast?
218
00:14:38,524 --> 00:14:40,849
Got no experience?
Step up to elegance.
219
00:14:41,026 --> 00:14:44,395
-Become a limo driver at Classy Joe's.
-That's it!
220
00:14:44,571 --> 00:14:48,901
I'll make money with a chauffeur job!
Good thing you turned on that TV, Lisa.
221
00:14:49,075 --> 00:14:51,067
I didn't turn it on, I thought you did.
222
00:14:51,243 --> 00:14:53,782
No. Well, anyway, turn it off.
223
00:14:54,037 --> 00:14:55,449
It is off.
224
00:15:01,752 --> 00:15:03,875
You have to work hard
to win this crowd over.
225
00:15:04,045 --> 00:15:07,627
-Most of them are here for detention.
-Pretty big crowd.
226
00:15:08,382 --> 00:15:11,086
We even bused in troublemakers
from other schools.
227
00:15:21,726 --> 00:15:24,561
That spiky-haired, masked dancer
is really something.
228
00:15:24,729 --> 00:15:28,596
-I wonder who he is.
-He's graceful, yet masculine.
229
00:15:28,774 --> 00:15:30,933
So it's okay for me to enjoy this.
230
00:15:31,109 --> 00:15:35,189
This reminds me of the movie Fame,
and to a lesser extent...
231
00:15:35,362 --> 00:15:39,194
...the TV series,
which was also called Fame.
232
00:15:42,410 --> 00:15:47,238
Oh, wow, I can't believe my very first
passenger is comedy legend Mel Brooks.
233
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:51,032
I loved that movie Young Frankenstein.
Scared the hell out of me.
234
00:15:53,210 --> 00:15:56,461
-Thanks.
-Let's do that 2000-pound-man thing.
235
00:15:56,630 --> 00:15:59,631
I'll be that Carl Reiner guy,
and you be what's-his-face.
236
00:15:59,799 --> 00:16:02,338
It's not easy.
It takes the genius of Carl Reiner...
237
00:16:02,510 --> 00:16:04,170
...and the timing that only we--
238
00:16:04,345 --> 00:16:06,918
Sir, today, every country
has a national anthem.
239
00:16:07,097 --> 00:16:10,383
Did they have national anthems
2000 years ago?
240
00:16:10,558 --> 00:16:13,346
Sure! Sure we had.
Of course, we was caves.
241
00:16:13,519 --> 00:16:15,808
But every cave had a national anthem.
242
00:16:15,979 --> 00:16:18,814
I'll never forget
my cave's national anthem.
243
00:16:18,981 --> 00:16:25,435
-What was that national anthem?
-Let them all go to hell except Cave 76
244
00:16:26,529 --> 00:16:29,068
What's with the Si--?
What's with the siren?
245
00:16:30,366 --> 00:16:32,655
Evening, Simpson.
Got a short in your taillight.
246
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,736
Started blinking
when you made that turn.
247
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:38,695
-Let's see your chauffeur's license.
-Chauffeur's license, eh?
248
00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:40,373
Mel, buckle your borscht belt!
249
00:16:43,710 --> 00:16:45,999
Since you're trying to make
a getaway in park...
250
00:16:46,170 --> 00:16:48,376
...I'm guessing you don't
have a license.
251
00:16:48,547 --> 00:16:51,382
Better head to the DMV.
These two broads'll help you out.
252
00:16:53,802 --> 00:16:57,337
Wow. Officer, this man
is making me a little edgy.
253
00:16:57,513 --> 00:17:01,889
-Could you give me a ride to the airport?
-Hey, hey! You're Mel Brooks!
254
00:17:02,058 --> 00:17:04,134
-Sure, I'll give you a ride.
-Thank you.
255
00:17:04,310 --> 00:17:08,391
On the way we can do that
2000-dollar-man thing.
256
00:17:08,564 --> 00:17:11,232
You be Carl Reiner,
and I'll be Police Chief Wiggum.
257
00:17:11,399 --> 00:17:15,184
Listen, why don't you play Carl Reiner,
and let me play Police Chief Wiggum.
258
00:17:15,361 --> 00:17:16,986
I hate Carl Reiner!
259
00:17:20,532 --> 00:17:23,616
I haven't been moved like this
since The Jay Luck Club.
260
00:17:28,246 --> 00:17:31,532
They love me. I'm accepted.
I don't need this mask anymore.
261
00:17:31,749 --> 00:17:35,201
Behold! The masked dancer is me, Bart!
262
00:17:37,379 --> 00:17:41,044
-It is I who have won your acclaim!
-Bart does ballet!
263
00:17:41,215 --> 00:17:43,256
He dances like girls!
264
00:17:44,259 --> 00:17:47,296
Go ahead and laugh. I took a chance
and did what I wanted to do.
265
00:17:47,470 --> 00:17:53,342
And if that makes me a sissy,
well, then, I guess I'm a sissy.
266
00:17:53,517 --> 00:17:56,186
He's a sissy! Let's rush him!
267
00:17:56,394 --> 00:17:58,185
-Yeah!
-Yeah, let's get him, come on!
268
00:17:59,814 --> 00:18:01,771
After him! Go!
269
00:18:03,901 --> 00:18:08,028
-There he is! There, right there!
-Bart, use the ballet. Leap!
270
00:18:08,196 --> 00:18:12,241
Leap like you've never leapt before!
271
00:18:19,246 --> 00:18:22,663
Looks like he took a pretty bad spill.
272
00:18:22,833 --> 00:18:25,952
Well, as long as he's hurt.
273
00:18:28,045 --> 00:18:31,497
Bart, I am so proud of you. You've
shown a sensitive side of yourself...
274
00:18:31,673 --> 00:18:36,003
...that can never be erased. From this
day forward, we are kindred spirits.
275
00:18:37,970 --> 00:18:42,015
Why'd she just leave me here
when I clearly need medical attention?
276
00:18:45,393 --> 00:18:47,350
Stupid driving test at the stupid DMV...
277
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,761
...where stupid Patty
and stupid Selma work.
278
00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:53,977
Sometimes I think God is teasing me,
just like he teased Moses in the desert.
279
00:18:54,150 --> 00:18:58,645
Tested, Homer. God tested Moses.
And try to be nice to my sisters.
280
00:18:58,820 --> 00:19:01,145
It's very hard on me
to have you always fighting.
281
00:19:01,322 --> 00:19:03,612
Oh, okay, Marge.
I'll get along with them.
282
00:19:03,783 --> 00:19:05,360
Then I will hug some snakes.
283
00:19:05,534 --> 00:19:10,195
Yes! I will hug and kiss
some poisonous snakes!
284
00:19:10,372 --> 00:19:11,653
Now, that's sarcasm.
285
00:19:13,165 --> 00:19:15,490
Well, well, well.
Look who needs us again...
286
00:19:15,668 --> 00:19:17,827
...to get his chauffeur's license.
287
00:19:18,003 --> 00:19:19,995
Look, all I ask is that you be fair.
288
00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:22,788
Did not adjust side mirror.
Minus one point.
289
00:19:22,965 --> 00:19:25,089
Failed to check blind spot.
Minus two points.
290
00:19:25,259 --> 00:19:27,631
You'll be happy when my
family thinks I'm a loser.
291
00:19:27,802 --> 00:19:31,219
You are a loser, Homer!
And we're winners. You gotta learn that.
292
00:19:31,389 --> 00:19:33,595
Seat belt twisted. Minus one point.
293
00:19:33,766 --> 00:19:36,138
Nagging the driver.
Minus 10 points for you!
294
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:39,311
-Grazed a cone. Minus five.
-Being a jerk. Minus a million!
295
00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:45,442
One more wrong answer, and Homer
flunks another of life's little tests.
296
00:19:45,609 --> 00:19:47,815
And what's this?
297
00:19:48,027 --> 00:19:50,482
Someone didn't fill in a circle
all the way.
298
00:19:54,616 --> 00:19:57,451
-Oh, boy. Oh, that felt good.
-Let me try. Let me try.
299
00:19:59,412 --> 00:20:03,113
Yeah. Oh, boy.
Oh, that was so sweet.
300
00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:07,491
-So, Homer, how'd you do?
-Well, I...
301
00:20:09,044 --> 00:20:12,745
Ladies, please don't tell me
you're smoking in a government building.
302
00:20:12,923 --> 00:20:15,046
Because that is
the kind of infraction...
303
00:20:15,216 --> 00:20:17,837
...that can cost a couple of sisters
their promotion.
304
00:20:18,594 --> 00:20:19,875
-Well . . ..
-What?
305
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,010
-You mean...
-Why...
306
00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:25,466
Oh, you're talking about she--
Who's? What? She-- What, this?
307
00:20:32,647 --> 00:20:34,355
I'll never forgive myself for this.
308
00:20:37,318 --> 00:20:39,524
Wait a minute. Those are yours, sir?
309
00:20:39,694 --> 00:20:43,312
Yes. I am in flavor country.
310
00:20:43,489 --> 00:20:47,071
-Both of them?
-It's a big country.
311
00:20:47,284 --> 00:20:50,700
Ladies, I apologize.
And you, sir, are worse than Hitler.
312
00:20:52,246 --> 00:20:55,912
Homer, I'm... I'm speechless.
313
00:20:56,083 --> 00:20:58,752
-You just saved our hides.
-On top of everything else...
314
00:20:58,919 --> 00:21:02,370
-...don't make me picture your hides.
-It's a wonderful thing you did...
315
00:21:02,546 --> 00:21:04,752
-...for my sisters.
-I didn't do it for them.
316
00:21:04,923 --> 00:21:08,340
I did it for you, Marge. I'd kill for you.
317
00:21:08,510 --> 00:21:11,547
-Please ask me to kill for you.
-No, Homie.
318
00:21:11,721 --> 00:21:15,766
You see? This is the stuff I've been
telling you about that you never see.
319
00:21:15,974 --> 00:21:18,014
Homer.
320
00:21:18,643 --> 00:21:21,680
We're. . .sorry.
321
00:21:21,854 --> 00:21:24,345
-If there's anything we can do--
-Call off the debt?
322
00:21:24,523 --> 00:21:27,192
Or, say, we could let you pass
your driver's test.
323
00:21:27,358 --> 00:21:29,066
Call off the debt?
324
00:21:29,235 --> 00:21:31,359
-Well...
-Debt's off! Let's go, Marge!