1 00:00:04,101 --> 00:00:07,400 " The Simpsons " 2 00:00:15,746 --> 00:00:17,714 D'oh! 3 00:00:35,633 --> 00:00:38,625 - All right, I raise a quarter. - I'm out. - I'm out. 4 00:00:38,736 --> 00:00:40,636 I'm out. 5 00:00:40,738 --> 00:00:43,332 Homer,you want any cards? Homer.! 6 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:46,136 Whoo. 7 00:00:46,243 --> 00:00:48,302 Don't try to eat these so-called ''chips.'' 8 00:00:48,412 --> 00:00:51,347 - Do you want another card or not? - Huh? Okay. I'll take three. 9 00:00:51,448 --> 00:00:53,916 D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! 10 00:00:54,018 --> 00:00:56,350 Uh, I mean, whoo-hoo. 11 00:00:56,453 --> 00:00:58,512 I'm in. Let's see your cards. 12 00:00:58,622 --> 00:01:01,591 Oh, I was bluffing. 13 00:01:01,692 --> 00:01:04,422 Come to papa! Wait a minute. 14 00:01:04,528 --> 00:01:06,689 You have a straight flush, Homer. 15 00:01:06,797 --> 00:01:10,392 G'oh! You do this every time, ya-- Oh, you-- 16 00:01:10,501 --> 00:01:13,937 Chokin' on my own rage, here. 17 00:01:14,038 --> 00:01:18,065 - Hey, don't yell at Homer just 'cause he's a little slow. 18 00:01:18,175 --> 00:01:20,109 Something was said. Not good. 19 00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:22,371 What was it? ''Don't yell at Homer''! 20 00:01:22,479 --> 00:01:24,970 No, that's okay. What was it? 21 00:01:25,082 --> 00:01:28,483 ''Slow.'' They called you ''slow''! 22 00:01:28,585 --> 00:01:31,486 How dare you call me that? I-- Huh? 23 00:01:31,588 --> 00:01:34,614 Hey, Homer,you still here? Boy,you are slow. 24 00:01:34,725 --> 00:01:38,092 - Something said. Not good. - Get the hell out of here. 25 00:01:44,835 --> 00:01:47,827 So anyhoo, last night we're playin' poker, right? 26 00:01:47,938 --> 00:01:50,532 As usual, I'm winning and not realizing it. 27 00:01:50,641 --> 00:01:53,872 And Lenny says that I'm, uh-- 28 00:01:53,978 --> 00:01:57,709 get this-- 29 00:01:57,815 --> 00:02:02,946 ''a little slow''! 30 00:02:04,288 --> 00:02:07,257 How come you're not laughing? Do you think I'm slow? 31 00:02:07,358 --> 00:02:09,383 - Buh. - Snuh. 32 00:02:11,128 --> 00:02:14,723 We don't think you're slow... 33 00:02:14,832 --> 00:02:19,496 but on the other hand, it's not like you go to museums or read books or anything. 34 00:02:19,603 --> 00:02:24,939 You think I don't want to? It's those TV networks, Marge. They won't let me-- 35 00:02:25,042 --> 00:02:29,672 one quality show after another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. 36 00:02:29,780 --> 00:02:34,547 If they only stumbled once, just gave us 30 minutes to ourselves. 37 00:02:34,651 --> 00:02:40,146 But they won't! They won't let me live! 38 00:02:40,257 --> 00:02:42,225 Oh, who am I kidding? 39 00:02:42,326 --> 00:02:45,261 - I am slow. - Oh, Homie. 40 00:02:45,362 --> 00:02:49,696 If you feel so bad about yourself, there's always things you can do to feel better. 41 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,325 - Take another bath in malt liquor? - There's that. 42 00:02:52,436 --> 00:02:55,132 Or you could take an adult education course. 43 00:02:55,239 --> 00:03:00,108 Oh, and how is ''education'' supposed to make me feel smarter? 44 00:03:00,210 --> 00:03:04,579 Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. 45 00:03:04,681 --> 00:03:08,344 Remember when I took that home wine-making course and I forgot how to drive? 46 00:03:08,452 --> 00:03:11,649 - That's because you were drunk! - And how. 47 00:03:21,732 --> 00:03:23,632 One way to drive your man wild... 48 00:03:23,734 --> 00:03:26,794 is to wear tight, revealing clothes. 49 00:03:26,904 --> 00:03:29,896 - Eww! - At this point I'd like to remind you... 50 00:03:30,007 --> 00:03:32,305 there are no refunds. 51 00:03:35,312 --> 00:03:37,212 All right, here's the 41 1 , folks. 52 00:03:37,314 --> 00:03:40,806 Say some gangsta is dissin' your fly girl. 53 00:03:40,918 --> 00:03:43,478 Ya just give' em one of these. 54 00:03:45,522 --> 00:03:47,422 " Ooh, eh, ah, ooh " 55 00:03:53,163 --> 00:03:57,190 You see, that ping sound means the spit was on target. 56 00:03:57,301 --> 00:04:01,328 Now you try. 57 00:04:01,438 --> 00:04:03,668 Gettin' better. 58 00:04:03,774 --> 00:04:07,835 Wait a minute. Even Lenny is teaching a class. 59 00:04:07,945 --> 00:04:10,505 Look at the way they admire and adore him. 60 00:04:12,616 --> 00:04:17,246 That's it. If he can teach a class, he can teach a class! 61 00:04:17,354 --> 00:04:19,481 I mean, I can teach a class! 62 00:04:20,591 --> 00:04:22,559 What is your area of expertise? 63 00:04:22,659 --> 00:04:25,753 I can tell the difference between butter and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. 64 00:04:25,863 --> 00:04:28,388 No, you can't, Mr. Simpson. No one can. 65 00:04:28,499 --> 00:04:32,367 Oh, I failed again. Everybody can teach a class but me. 66 00:04:32,469 --> 00:04:35,632 I'm an idiot. What am I gonna tell my wife and kids? 67 00:04:35,739 --> 00:04:39,869 - Oh, you're married? - That depends. Is there another way to get this job? 68 00:04:39,977 --> 00:04:44,107 No. Mr. Simpson, what I mean is we may have a job for you after all. 69 00:04:44,214 --> 00:04:47,149 We need someone to teach a course on how to build a successful marriage. 70 00:04:47,251 --> 00:04:50,049 I'll do it! Anything to get me out of that house... 71 00:04:50,154 --> 00:04:53,453 away from all that nagging and noise... 72 00:04:53,557 --> 00:04:57,220 uh, of a family of love. " Sha-la-la-la " 73 00:04:58,829 --> 00:05:02,060 Look, everyone. 74 00:05:02,166 --> 00:05:06,068 - Now that I'm a teacher, I've sewed patches on my elbows. - Homer... 75 00:05:06,170 --> 00:05:11,506 that's supposed to be leather patches on a tweed blazer, not the other way around. 76 00:05:11,608 --> 00:05:14,372 You've ruined a perfectly good jacket. 77 00:05:14,478 --> 00:05:19,006 Ah, incorrect, Marge-- two perfectly good jackets. 78 00:05:19,116 --> 00:05:21,346 I think it's great you're a teacher, Dad. 79 00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:23,646 So, will you be lecturing from a standardized text... 80 00:05:23,754 --> 00:05:26,723 or using the more Socratic method of interactive class participation? 81 00:05:28,125 --> 00:05:31,117 Yes, Lisa. Daddy's a teacher. 82 00:05:36,967 --> 00:05:39,231 Oh, Homer. What a pleasant-- 83 00:05:39,336 --> 00:05:42,169 Can't talk now, Flanders. I've got a class to teach. 84 00:05:42,272 --> 00:05:44,570 But you rang my-- 85 00:05:46,710 --> 00:05:49,645 - Can I take your order? - Nothing for me today. 86 00:05:49,746 --> 00:05:51,646 I've got a class to teach. 87 00:05:51,748 --> 00:05:54,717 Sir, it's a felony to tease the order box. 88 00:05:57,688 --> 00:06:01,317 It's all right. I'm a teacher! 89 00:06:01,425 --> 00:06:03,825 I didn't know we could do that. 90 00:06:03,927 --> 00:06:06,395 Hey! 91 00:06:11,568 --> 00:06:14,503 All right. The first thing they told me to do... 92 00:06:14,605 --> 00:06:18,097 was to make sure everyone here is in the right class. 93 00:06:18,208 --> 00:06:20,267 - Down the hall, Room 1 2. - Thank you. 94 00:06:20,377 --> 00:06:24,404 Ew. Okay. Let's get started. Uh... 95 00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,414 um... 96 00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:29,417 uh-h-h-m... 97 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,818 hmm-- 98 00:06:32,923 --> 00:06:34,823 No talking. 99 00:06:34,925 --> 00:06:37,450 Uh-- 100 00:06:38,562 --> 00:06:40,462 Hmm. 101 00:06:41,565 --> 00:06:43,556 Hmm. Oh. 102 00:06:44,668 --> 00:06:46,568 Hmm. No. 103 00:06:46,670 --> 00:06:49,537 Uh-- Hmm. 104 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:54,407 Um, how about if we tell you our problems with relationships? 105 00:06:54,511 --> 00:06:58,106 Yeah. Yeah! That'll eat up some time. 106 00:06:58,215 --> 00:07:01,378 Uh-h-h-m, how about you, Otto? 107 00:07:01,485 --> 00:07:05,319 Oh, my standards are just too high, you know? 108 00:07:05,422 --> 00:07:09,222 I feel like nobody's good enough for me. 109 00:07:09,326 --> 00:07:13,023 Whoa. You think you got 'em all, but you forget about the eggs. 110 00:07:13,130 --> 00:07:18,261 My problem is I'm a real user of women. I move in right away and stay until the money's gone. 111 00:07:18,368 --> 00:07:21,963 Well, I'm a smart woman, but I make bad choices. 112 00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:28,038 Okay. Here's a set of house keys and my A.T.M. card. 113 00:07:28,145 --> 00:07:32,980 Um, I was married once, but, uh, I just didn't know how to keep it together. 114 00:07:35,052 --> 00:07:37,782 Come on, Waylon. 115 00:07:37,888 --> 00:07:41,415 - Make love to me the way you used to. - No. 116 00:07:41,525 --> 00:07:44,016 It's that horrible Mr. Burns, isn't it? 117 00:07:44,127 --> 00:07:46,994 You leave Mr. Burns out of this! 118 00:07:47,097 --> 00:07:49,998 Smithers.! 119 00:07:53,904 --> 00:07:56,372 Smi-thers! 120 00:07:57,641 --> 00:08:00,201 Mmm. Ooh, Mr. Simpson, are you listening? 121 00:08:00,310 --> 00:08:02,778 Simpson! 122 00:08:02,879 --> 00:08:05,370 Huh? Yeah, I was listening. Very funny. 123 00:08:05,482 --> 00:08:08,315 Oh, ya were not. You were just eatin' a damn orange. 124 00:08:08,418 --> 00:08:12,354 Oh, yes, yes. To the untrained eye, I'm eating an orange... 125 00:08:12,456 --> 00:08:16,222 but to the eye that has brains, I'm making a point about marriage. 126 00:08:16,326 --> 00:08:20,729 For you see, marriage is a lot like an orange. 127 00:08:20,831 --> 00:08:23,231 First you have the skin... 128 00:08:23,333 --> 00:08:25,824 then the sweet, sweet innards. 129 00:08:31,475 --> 00:08:33,375 I don't understand. 130 00:08:33,477 --> 00:08:37,971 If I wanted to see a man eat an orange, I would have taken the orange-eating class. 131 00:08:38,081 --> 00:08:41,710 The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage. 132 00:08:41,818 --> 00:08:44,309 Just eat the damn oranges! 133 00:08:46,623 --> 00:08:48,784 - This is terrible. - We're leaving. 134 00:08:48,892 --> 00:08:52,794 - Ach, let's get out of here. - This is a terrible excuse for education. 135 00:08:52,896 --> 00:08:55,865 Oh, I told Marge this wouldn't work the other night in bed. 136 00:08:55,966 --> 00:08:57,695 - In bed? Well. - Huh? Huh? - What? 137 00:08:57,801 --> 00:09:01,532 So somethin' wasn't workin' in bed, huh? Heh, heh, heh. 138 00:09:01,638 --> 00:09:03,902 No, that's not what I meant. 139 00:09:04,007 --> 00:09:06,305 Marge and I always talk things over in bed. 140 00:09:06,410 --> 00:09:09,675 - Like the other night, we were fighting about money. - Ooh, a fight. 141 00:09:09,780 --> 00:09:12,806 Trouble in paradise, huh? Heh, heh, heh. 142 00:09:12,916 --> 00:09:15,384 I was telling Marge that we could save some money... 143 00:09:15,485 --> 00:09:17,885 if she only dyed her hair once a month. 144 00:09:17,988 --> 00:09:20,320 - Marge dyes her hair? - Oh, yeah. 145 00:09:20,424 --> 00:09:22,984 She's been as gray as a mule since she was 1 7. 146 00:09:23,093 --> 00:09:27,120 - Ooh. - Come on. Tell us more. - Tell us about it. 147 00:09:27,230 --> 00:09:30,791 I went on for hours, and they were hanging on my every word. 148 00:09:30,901 --> 00:09:33,165 I really think I was born to teach. 149 00:09:33,270 --> 00:09:36,330 All right, Simpson. You were warned about teasing the box. 150 00:09:39,075 --> 00:09:42,010 Wait! I need closure on that anecdote. 151 00:09:50,921 --> 00:09:53,389 Oh, Mrs. Simpson, it may interest you to know... 152 00:09:53,490 --> 00:09:56,482 we are having a sale on blue dye number 52. 153 00:09:56,593 --> 00:09:58,493 It is your hair color, I believe. 154 00:09:58,595 --> 00:10:03,658 Whatever do you mean? I don't dye my hair. 155 00:10:03,767 --> 00:10:05,667 Nah, nah, nah. You got it wrong, 'Pu. 156 00:10:05,769 --> 00:10:08,795 - She's blue 56. - I don't know what you're talking about. 157 00:10:08,905 --> 00:10:11,237 We just love your husband's class. 158 00:10:11,341 --> 00:10:13,571 That's nice. 159 00:10:16,012 --> 00:10:20,005 Homer, I really don't like you telling personal secrets in your class. 160 00:10:20,116 --> 00:10:22,778 Marge, I didn't tell 'em personal stuff. 161 00:10:22,886 --> 00:10:27,084 - Today at the Kwik-E-Mart everybody knew I dyed my hair. - Oh. You mean about you. 162 00:10:27,190 --> 00:10:30,921 All right, maybe I said some things, some personal things. 163 00:10:31,027 --> 00:10:32,927 But you should've seen 'em, Marge. 164 00:10:33,029 --> 00:10:36,055 - They really wanted to hear what I had to say. - Mmm. I'm happy about that. 165 00:10:36,166 --> 00:10:40,034 But I think you can be a good teacher and still respect our privacy. 166 00:10:40,136 --> 00:10:44,232 Look, Marge. You don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there putting his ass on the line. 167 00:10:44,341 --> 00:10:49,540 And I'm not out of order. You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order. 168 00:10:49,646 --> 00:10:54,208 You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! 169 00:10:54,317 --> 00:10:58,083 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo... 170 00:10:58,188 --> 00:11:02,124 that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! 171 00:11:02,225 --> 00:11:05,626 Forget it, Marge. It's Chinatown! 172 00:11:05,729 --> 00:11:10,029 - Homer, don't ever tell them personal stuff about me again! - - Yes, ma'am. 173 00:11:10,133 --> 00:11:15,298 Now, what is a wedding? Well, Webster's Dictionary describes a wedding as... 174 00:11:15,405 --> 00:11:18,704 ''the process of removing weeds from one's garden.'' 175 00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:22,539 Tell us more about you and Marge. 176 00:11:22,646 --> 00:11:26,980 This is a place of learning, not a house of... hearing about things. 177 00:11:27,083 --> 00:11:29,813 Guess he's run out of stories. 178 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:35,017 - What a rip-off. - I can't believe I paid $1 0,000 for this course. 179 00:11:35,125 --> 00:11:37,059 What the heck was that lab fee for? 180 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,219 No. Wait. Uh, um-- 181 00:11:39,329 --> 00:11:41,229 Wait. I-- Yes. 182 00:11:41,331 --> 00:11:45,062 I do have a story about two other young marrieds. 183 00:11:48,338 --> 00:11:53,071 Now, the wife of this couple has an interesting quirk in the bedroom. 184 00:11:53,176 --> 00:11:57,704 It seems she goes wild with desire if her husband nibbles on her elbow. 185 00:11:57,814 --> 00:12:01,580 - We need names! - Well, let's just call 'em, uh... 186 00:12:01,685 --> 00:12:04,677 Mr. ''X'' and Mrs. ''Y.'' 187 00:12:04,788 --> 00:12:09,748 So, anyway, Mr. ''X'' would say, ''Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running... 188 00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:11,793 my name isn't HomerJ. Simpson.'' 189 00:12:16,733 --> 00:12:19,224 - Huh? - Ooh, Homer, don't you have to get to class? 190 00:12:19,336 --> 00:12:24,535 Not tonight, Marge. Tonight we can eat a nice, leisurely dinner at home. 191 00:12:24,641 --> 00:12:27,109 Oh. Well, that will be l-- 192 00:12:28,545 --> 00:12:31,742 - What the darn? - Marge, you'll never guess what. 193 00:12:31,848 --> 00:12:35,511 My whole class is here. They're going to observe the human peep show... 194 00:12:35,619 --> 00:12:37,519 that is our lives. 195 00:12:37,621 --> 00:12:41,614 Apparently, that disturbing odor was the food. 196 00:12:43,193 --> 00:12:46,458 So, little Lisa, apple of my eye... 197 00:12:46,563 --> 00:12:48,929 how are things down at the old schoolhouse? 198 00:12:49,032 --> 00:12:52,695 I find this demeaning and embarrassing beyond my worst nightmares. 199 00:12:55,105 --> 00:12:59,201 And how's my little major leaguer? Catch any june bugs today? 200 00:12:59,309 --> 00:13:02,540 Me and Milhouse took some mail from a mail truck and threw it down the sewer. 201 00:13:02,646 --> 00:13:07,174 Son, I know you meant well, but that wasn't the right thing to do. 202 00:13:07,283 --> 00:13:10,218 What the hell are you talkin' about? You're the one who double-dared us. 203 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:12,481 - Why, you little-- - Ooh. 204 00:13:12,589 --> 00:13:15,387 - Homer! - I'm outta here. - Me too. 205 00:13:19,929 --> 00:13:22,898 Well, now that the little ones have toddled off to bed-- 206 00:13:22,999 --> 00:13:26,526 I want this to end now. 207 00:13:26,636 --> 00:13:29,833 Hey, Homer. Why don't you just nibble her elbow? 208 00:13:29,939 --> 00:13:32,999 That always melts her butter, right? Heh, heh, heh. 209 00:13:33,109 --> 00:13:35,475 All right. 210 00:13:35,578 --> 00:13:37,705 Okay. Everybody out! 211 00:13:37,814 --> 00:13:40,282 Ooh, she's gotta have it. 212 00:13:40,383 --> 00:13:44,410 Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out-out-out-out-out-out-out! 213 00:13:44,521 --> 00:13:46,421 All right, we're breaking early tonight, class. 214 00:13:46,523 --> 00:13:50,425 - For tomorrow, you should read pages seven through 1 8 in Lisa's diary. - You too. 215 00:13:50,527 --> 00:13:52,620 - Get out! - But I'm not in the cla-- 216 00:13:55,965 --> 00:14:00,231 Is any of this gonna be on the test? 'Cause I wasn't payin' attention. 217 00:14:05,008 --> 00:14:10,275 Come on, Marge. Let me in! There's crickets out here. 218 00:14:12,348 --> 00:14:15,476 Okay, Marge. Things were said. Mistakes were made. 219 00:14:15,585 --> 00:14:18,076 Let's end this madness and get on with our lives. 220 00:14:18,188 --> 00:14:20,884 You just don't get it, do you, Homer? 221 00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:24,585 You told personal things about our lives, even after you promised you wouldn't. 222 00:14:24,694 --> 00:14:28,061 - I can't trust you anymore. - But I learned my lesson. 223 00:14:28,164 --> 00:14:32,601 - It'll never happen again. - Hey, Homer. What's the big brouhaha-ha? 224 00:14:32,702 --> 00:14:35,865 - Ah, Marge is throwin' me out for blabbin' about her elbow thing. 225 00:14:36,973 --> 00:14:39,441 Honey, the door blew shut. 226 00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:44,605 Oh. Fine. If that's what you want, you've got it. 227 00:14:44,714 --> 00:14:48,480 This scene is gettin' old, man. I'm hittin' the road. 228 00:14:48,585 --> 00:14:54,353 Maybe I'll drop you a line someday from wherever I wind up in this crazy old world. 229 00:14:56,826 --> 00:15:01,957 Kids, your father and I are going through a really tough time right now... 230 00:15:02,065 --> 00:15:03,965 and I don't know what's going to happen. 231 00:15:04,067 --> 00:15:08,436 But just remember that both your mom and your dad love you very, very much. 232 00:15:09,773 --> 00:15:12,867 Wow, I've never seen Mom so mad at Homer before. 233 00:15:12,976 --> 00:15:16,707 I'll tell you a secret, Bart. Every time I'm worried about Mom and Dad... 234 00:15:16,813 --> 00:15:19,338 I go to the attic and add to my ball of string. 235 00:15:24,087 --> 00:15:26,885 Earth base, this is Commander Bart McCool. 236 00:15:26,990 --> 00:15:29,151 We are under attack by the Zorrinid brain changers. 237 00:15:29,259 --> 00:15:31,819 Quickly, into the safety dome, Milbot. 238 00:15:31,928 --> 00:15:33,828 Affirmative, humanoid. 239 00:15:34,931 --> 00:15:36,831 Ew! 240 00:15:36,933 --> 00:15:39,231 Don't mind me, boys. Just scrubbin' my undies. 241 00:15:39,335 --> 00:15:43,066 Sorry, Bart. Your dad kinda blew the fantasy. 242 00:15:43,173 --> 00:15:45,971 I only like it when I'm pretend-scared. 243 00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:47,975 Keep up the roughhousing, Son. 244 00:15:48,077 --> 00:15:52,639 Without a strong male presence in the house, you could turn sissy overnight. 245 00:15:52,749 --> 00:15:54,910 Oh, these stubborn grass stains. 246 00:15:58,688 --> 00:16:01,782 Oh, good. Reverend Lovejoy will make Marge take me back. 247 00:16:01,891 --> 00:16:05,952 He has to push the sanctity of marriage, or his god will punish him. 248 00:16:06,062 --> 00:16:08,030 - Get a divorce. - Mm-hmm. 249 00:16:08,131 --> 00:16:12,261 - But isn't that a sin? - Marge,just about everything is a sin. 250 00:16:12,368 --> 00:16:14,268 You ever sat down and read this thing? 251 00:16:14,370 --> 00:16:17,100 Technically, we're not allowed to go go the bathroom. 252 00:16:22,745 --> 00:16:25,543 Good night, Marge. 253 00:16:26,649 --> 00:16:28,913 Oh, why didn't I take a picture? 254 00:16:29,018 --> 00:16:31,077 I had ten years to take a picture. 255 00:16:31,187 --> 00:16:35,317 Hmm. Funny the way everything reminds me of Homer. 256 00:16:44,667 --> 00:16:46,794 I love you. 257 00:16:47,904 --> 00:16:50,532 Will you marry me, Marge? 258 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:52,540 You mean, I'm gonna be a daddy? 259 00:16:52,642 --> 00:16:57,705 I hope we'll always be together, together, together-- 260 00:16:57,814 --> 00:16:59,805 Together? 261 00:16:59,916 --> 00:17:02,817 Ooh. 262 00:17:06,256 --> 00:17:08,986 Here, Dad. I brought you some nice-- 263 00:17:09,092 --> 00:17:12,653 Good news, Lisa. I don't need your mother anymore. 264 00:17:12,762 --> 00:17:16,721 I've created a replacement that's superior to her in almost every way. 265 00:17:16,833 --> 00:17:19,233 Dad, that's just a plant. 266 00:17:19,335 --> 00:17:23,032 Lisa! You will respect your new mother. Now, give her a kiss. 267 00:17:23,139 --> 00:17:25,266 Kiss her! 268 00:17:26,709 --> 00:17:29,337 Oh-my-God! Oh-my-God! Oh-my-God! 269 00:17:29,445 --> 00:17:31,743 All right. Let's get our stories straight. 270 00:17:31,848 --> 00:17:34,043 She tripped, right? 271 00:17:34,150 --> 00:17:36,744 Look. I brought you some nice pudding. 272 00:17:36,853 --> 00:17:40,949 Ah, your flesh mother used to bring me pudding. 273 00:17:41,057 --> 00:17:42,957 Oh, I miss Marge. 274 00:17:43,059 --> 00:17:46,517 Lisa, you're smart. Help me trick her into taking me back. 275 00:17:46,629 --> 00:17:49,325 Dad, you can't trick somebody into loving you. 276 00:17:49,432 --> 00:17:52,196 There's a reason two people come together and stay together. 277 00:17:52,302 --> 00:17:55,100 There's something they give each other that nobody else can give them. 278 00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:59,538 If you want Mom back, you just have to remember what you give her that nobody else can. 279 00:17:59,642 --> 00:18:02,440 I'll pay you $40 if you think of it for me. 280 00:18:02,545 --> 00:18:04,843 - No. - Okay. 30. 281 00:18:05,949 --> 00:18:08,110 Good luck, Dad. 282 00:18:08,217 --> 00:18:10,811 All right, brain. It's all up to you. 283 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,616 If you don't think of what it is, we'll lose Marge forever. 284 00:18:13,723 --> 00:18:15,850 Eat the pudding. Eat the pudding-- 285 00:18:15,959 --> 00:18:17,859 Eat the pudding. Eat the pudding-- 286 00:18:17,961 --> 00:18:21,124 Okay, but then we gotta get to work. 287 00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:32,901 Oh. H-Hi, Marge. 288 00:18:33,009 --> 00:18:38,641 I heard you and Homer broke up, so I'm declarin' my intentions to move in on his territory. 289 00:18:38,748 --> 00:18:42,809 - Here, I, uh, brung ya some posies. - Oh, my. 290 00:18:42,919 --> 00:18:46,878 I'm very flattered, but I'm not really interested. 291 00:18:46,990 --> 00:18:51,290 Sheesh. I come here, I get dressed up all nice-like... 292 00:18:51,394 --> 00:18:55,660 put my heart on the line, and I make a fool of myself. 293 00:18:55,765 --> 00:18:59,098 Oh, boy. Oh, I'm gonna start bawlin' here. 294 00:18:59,202 --> 00:19:03,639 - Hmm, why don't you come inside for a drink of water? - 'Kay. 295 00:19:07,543 --> 00:19:11,172 Hmm. Clean house, no silverfish. 296 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,544 Could've been very happy here. 297 00:19:13,649 --> 00:19:15,549 - Homer. - Moe. 298 00:19:16,886 --> 00:19:19,753 - What are you doin' here? - I, um-- Well, I-- 299 00:19:19,856 --> 00:19:23,451 - I never touched her. Homer, I swear, I never touched her. - Here's your water, Moe. 300 00:19:23,559 --> 00:19:26,824 I didn't ask her for no water. She's lyin', Homer. She told me you were dead. 301 00:19:26,929 --> 00:19:30,421 That's the only reason I-- I didn't do nothin'! 302 00:19:30,533 --> 00:19:32,763 Bye, Moe. 303 00:19:32,869 --> 00:19:34,894 Homer, what happened to you? 304 00:19:35,004 --> 00:19:38,735 Marge, I figured out what I can give you that no one else can: 305 00:19:38,841 --> 00:19:42,277 a bouquet of po-- ohhh. 306 00:19:42,378 --> 00:19:46,212 I give up. I don't deserve to live with you. 307 00:19:49,152 --> 00:19:53,020 Hmm. 308 00:19:53,122 --> 00:19:56,387 Oh. My tattered rags... 309 00:19:56,492 --> 00:19:59,825 are caught on your coffee table. 310 00:19:59,929 --> 00:20:02,830 Oh, here. Let me help you. 311 00:20:08,805 --> 00:20:10,705 Wait a minute. Wait, that's it. 312 00:20:10,807 --> 00:20:13,901 I know now what I can offer you that no one else can: 313 00:20:14,010 --> 00:20:16,877 complete and utter dependence. 314 00:20:16,979 --> 00:20:19,106 Homer, that's not a good thing. 315 00:20:19,215 --> 00:20:23,208 Are you kidding? It's a wondrous, marvelous thing. 316 00:20:23,319 --> 00:20:26,982 Marge, I need you more than anyone else on this entire planet... 317 00:20:27,090 --> 00:20:29,115 could possibly ever need you. 318 00:20:29,225 --> 00:20:32,160 I need you to take care of me, to put up with me... 319 00:20:32,261 --> 00:20:36,322 and most of all, I need you to love me, because I love you. 320 00:20:38,534 --> 00:20:41,128 But how do I know I can trust you? 321 00:20:41,237 --> 00:20:45,901 Marge, look at me. We've been separated for a day, and I'm as dirty as a Frenchman. 322 00:20:46,008 --> 00:20:50,809 In another few hours I'll be dead. I can't afford to lose your trust again. 323 00:21:00,923 --> 00:21:02,823 Oh. 324 00:21:04,227 --> 00:21:08,561 I must admit. You really do make a gal feel needed. 325 00:21:08,664 --> 00:21:12,225 Wait till my class hears about this. Kidding! 326 00:21:12,335 --> 00:21:17,329 Oh, it's great to be indoors with my family. 327 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:21,069 I'm really glad you're back, Dad. I knew you could do it. 328 00:21:21,177 --> 00:21:23,077 Now don't screw it up. 329 00:21:23,179 --> 00:21:27,707 Look, Dad. I missed you so much, I couldn't concentrate in school and I got an ''F.'' 330 00:21:27,817 --> 00:21:30,081 Hey, this is dated two weeks ago. 331 00:21:30,186 --> 00:21:32,347 Oh. Sorry. Here's a fresh one. 332 00:21:32,455 --> 00:21:37,757 And I have a special present for you, but I'll give it to you later tonight. 333 00:21:37,860 --> 00:21:42,229 Special present? I don't wanna wait. I want it now! I want the children to see. 334 00:21:42,331 --> 00:21:44,765 Ooh. Oh, right. 335 00:21:44,867 --> 00:21:47,335 Later. 336 00:21:47,436 --> 00:21:49,927 So, Marge, are you really happy? Really? 337 00:21:50,039 --> 00:21:52,007 Hey, Moe. 338 00:22:44,627 --> 00:22:46,595 Shh!