1 00:00:04,368 --> 00:00:07,394 " The Simpsons " 2 00:00:15,646 --> 00:00:17,705 D'oh! 3 00:00:35,399 --> 00:00:37,867 Lousy job. 4 00:00:37,968 --> 00:00:39,936 Nothing exciting ever happens. 5 00:00:42,106 --> 00:00:44,074 Congratulations, Homer Simpson! 6 00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:46,972 - You've just won the employee raffle. - Whoo-hoo! 7 00:00:47,077 --> 00:00:50,569 - What do I get? - The job of industrial chimney sweep for a day! 8 00:00:51,882 --> 00:00:53,042 Whoo-hoo! 9 00:00:57,521 --> 00:00:59,512 Whoa! 10 00:01:06,030 --> 00:01:08,794 Hey, this isn't such a great prize. 11 00:01:08,899 --> 00:01:11,424 Oh, well, this may be a dirty job... 12 00:01:11,535 --> 00:01:14,402 but the big guys at the top work even harder. 13 00:01:14,505 --> 00:01:16,598 Whoa! 14 00:01:19,343 --> 00:01:23,279 Hmm. Will 5:00 never come? 15 00:01:23,380 --> 00:01:26,247 Careful, Smithers! That sponge has corners, you know. 16 00:01:26,350 --> 00:01:30,013 I'll go find a spherical one. 17 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,816 Help, Smithers. I'm sinking. 18 00:01:32,923 --> 00:01:35,391 I'm sinking. 19 00:01:35,492 --> 00:01:38,120 Life... flashing... 20 00:01:38,228 --> 00:01:40,492 before-- 21 00:01:40,597 --> 00:01:42,497 eyes. 22 00:01:48,138 --> 00:01:50,106 You're fired! 23 00:01:50,207 --> 00:01:53,301 Dance! 24 00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:59,147 Dance! 25 00:02:03,220 --> 00:02:05,120 All right. 26 00:02:05,222 --> 00:02:08,749 We're finally gonna stop those corporate pigs from dumping that nuclear waste. 27 00:02:08,859 --> 00:02:11,384 Oh, no! Our boat is sinking. 28 00:02:11,495 --> 00:02:13,395 It was I, you fools! 29 00:02:13,497 --> 00:02:17,365 The man you trusted isn't Wavy Gravy at all. 30 00:02:17,468 --> 00:02:21,370 And all this time, I've been smoking harmless tobacco. 31 00:02:30,781 --> 00:02:33,249 I got a mink chamois, sir. I hope that-- 32 00:02:33,350 --> 00:02:36,148 Oh, my God! Mr. Burns is dead! 33 00:02:36,253 --> 00:02:39,586 Why do the good always die so young? 34 00:02:41,859 --> 00:02:44,191 You almost killed me! 35 00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:47,286 Please, sir. 36 00:02:47,398 --> 00:02:50,333 You'll catch-- cold. 37 00:02:52,436 --> 00:02:55,098 Smithers, do you realize, if I had died... 38 00:02:55,205 --> 00:02:57,673 there would be no one to carry on my legacy? 39 00:02:57,775 --> 00:03:01,074 Due to my hectic schedule and lethargic sperm... 40 00:03:01,178 --> 00:03:03,146 I never fathered an heir. 41 00:03:03,247 --> 00:03:05,272 Now I have no one... 42 00:03:05,382 --> 00:03:08,408 to leave my enormous fortune to. 43 00:03:08,519 --> 00:03:11,044 No one. 44 00:03:11,155 --> 00:03:13,623 You, Smithers? Oh, no, my dear friend. 45 00:03:13,724 --> 00:03:16,852 I have planned a far greater reward for you. 46 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:21,124 When I pass on, you shall be buried alive with me. 47 00:03:22,533 --> 00:03:25,127 Oh. Goody. 48 00:03:43,187 --> 00:03:46,418 Turn it up! Turn it up! 49 00:03:52,629 --> 00:03:55,359 Hello. I am Montgomery Burns. 50 00:03:55,466 --> 00:03:57,593 Now then, I am looking for a suitable young male heir... 51 00:03:57,701 --> 00:03:59,362 to leave my fortune to when I pass away. 52 00:03:59,470 --> 00:04:01,199 My vast, vast, vast fortune. 53 00:04:02,239 --> 00:04:05,936 Vast. 54 00:04:06,043 --> 00:04:08,511 Auditions will be tomorrow at my estate. 55 00:04:08,612 --> 00:04:11,376 And now, our feature presentation. 56 00:04:11,482 --> 00:04:15,111 Oh, for-- Oh, very well. 57 00:04:15,219 --> 00:04:19,679 " Let's all go to the lobby Let's all go to the lobby " 58 00:04:19,790 --> 00:04:23,886 " Let's all go to the lobby Get ourselves some snacks " 59 00:04:27,965 --> 00:04:32,197 What are the two E's? Enunciate and energy. 60 00:04:35,572 --> 00:04:39,303 I have nothing to offer you but my love. 61 00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:41,809 I specifically said ''no geeks.'' 62 00:04:41,912 --> 00:04:44,346 But my mom says I'm cool. 63 00:04:44,448 --> 00:04:46,746 Next. 64 00:04:46,850 --> 00:04:49,819 Give me your fortune or I'll pound your withered old face in! 65 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:53,219 Oh, I like his energy. Put him on the callback list. 66 00:04:56,326 --> 00:04:58,954 " Clang, clang, clang went the trolley " 67 00:04:59,062 --> 00:05:01,622 " Ring, ring, ring went the bell " 68 00:05:01,732 --> 00:05:04,428 "Zing, zing, zing went my heart strings-- " 69 00:05:04,535 --> 00:05:07,163 Thank you! Give the bully an extra point. 70 00:05:09,273 --> 00:05:13,607 I propose to you that your heir need not be a boy. In this phallocentric society of ours-- 71 00:05:13,710 --> 00:05:17,737 I don't know what ''phallocentric'' means, but no girls! 72 00:05:17,848 --> 00:05:20,339 So much for Plan B. 73 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:22,918 That's it, boy. You're our last hope. 74 00:05:23,020 --> 00:05:25,989 Ohh. I just don't want to be here, Dad. 75 00:05:26,089 --> 00:05:29,217 Besides, I started a fire this morning that I really should keep an eye on. 76 00:05:29,326 --> 00:05:32,318 Bart, this isn't the kind of thing I normally would think was a good idea... 77 00:05:32,429 --> 00:05:34,897 but you wouldn't have to live with Mr. Burns. 78 00:05:34,998 --> 00:05:39,264 You'd just get all of his money someday. This could provide for your entire future. 79 00:05:39,369 --> 00:05:41,667 Congratulations. 80 00:05:41,772 --> 00:05:45,936 You've just graduated from the most expensive and, therefore, best school there is. 81 00:05:46,043 --> 00:05:48,511 And your discovery of the cure for the common cold-- 82 00:05:48,612 --> 00:05:51,877 Hello, Marge. I'm Lee Majors. Will you come away with me? 83 00:05:51,982 --> 00:05:54,450 Uh... sure. 84 00:05:59,189 --> 00:06:02,158 I've gotta stop fantasizing about Lee Majors. 85 00:06:02,259 --> 00:06:04,159 Ah, one more. 86 00:06:08,665 --> 00:06:11,566 Okay, boy. I wrote down exactly what to say. 87 00:06:11,668 --> 00:06:14,296 Just read it, and you're a shoo-in! 88 00:06:15,606 --> 00:06:18,939 ''Hello, Mr.-- Kurns. 89 00:06:19,042 --> 00:06:23,672 I bad want... money now. Me sick.'' 90 00:06:23,780 --> 00:06:25,975 Ooh, he card reads good. 91 00:06:26,083 --> 00:06:29,075 ''So pick, please, me, Mr. Burns.'' 92 00:06:29,186 --> 00:06:31,177 - It's Kurns, stupid! - No, it's not. 93 00:06:31,288 --> 00:06:33,586 - Disregard. - Oh, he's the worst yet. 94 00:06:33,690 --> 00:06:38,593 That's it. Everyone out, except you. One step to the left. 95 00:06:47,738 --> 00:06:50,605 - Ow! - Excellent. 96 00:06:54,878 --> 00:06:59,247 The boot kicked Bart! It kicked him right in the butt! 97 00:07:01,351 --> 00:07:05,378 I think Bart and Lisa are feeling a little upset right now. 98 00:07:05,489 --> 00:07:08,253 - Isn't there something you'd like to say? - There sure is. 99 00:07:08,358 --> 00:07:12,556 Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. 100 00:07:12,663 --> 00:07:15,894 The lesson is, never try. 101 00:07:15,999 --> 00:07:18,467 Right in the butt. 102 00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:20,832 That was great. 103 00:07:22,272 --> 00:07:24,172 It's no use. 104 00:07:24,274 --> 00:07:27,243 I guess I'll have to leave all my money to the Egg Advisory Council. 105 00:07:27,344 --> 00:07:29,613 Eggs have gotten quite a bad rap lately, you know, Smithers. 106 00:07:29,613 --> 00:07:30,978 Eggs have gotten quite a bad rap lately, you know, Smithers. 107 00:07:31,081 --> 00:07:35,074 Oh, look. A bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction. 108 00:07:35,185 --> 00:07:40,282 - I think it's a rock, sir. - We'll see what the lab has to say about that. 109 00:07:45,495 --> 00:07:48,293 Why, that rapscallion is breaking all my windows. 110 00:08:04,581 --> 00:08:06,913 Look, Smithers. 111 00:08:07,017 --> 00:08:09,417 A creature of pure malevolence. 112 00:08:09,519 --> 00:08:13,046 He's the perfect one to suckle at my proverbial teat. 113 00:08:13,156 --> 00:08:15,249 You there, boy! What day is this? 114 00:08:15,359 --> 00:08:17,759 Today, sir? Why, it's Christmas Day. 115 00:08:17,861 --> 00:08:21,627 - I was talking to him. You, what day is this? - Huh? 116 00:08:21,732 --> 00:08:24,030 I'll tell you what day it is. 117 00:08:24,134 --> 00:08:26,762 Today is the day you become my heir. 118 00:08:28,872 --> 00:08:30,772 Ooh, I like him a lot. 119 00:08:36,513 --> 00:08:41,473 Just sign here, and your son will stand to inherit my entire estate. 120 00:08:41,585 --> 00:08:43,712 Whoo-hoo! We're rich. 121 00:08:43,820 --> 00:08:47,256 Bart, get over to the mansion and open up all the windows. 122 00:08:47,357 --> 00:08:50,155 We want to get the old people smell out before we move in. 123 00:08:50,260 --> 00:08:53,821 - Dad, Mr. Burns hasn't passed away yet. - Huh? Oh, right. 124 00:08:53,930 --> 00:08:56,490 So I guess you're in okay shape, huh? 125 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,160 - No heart problems or anything? - Well, I-- 126 00:08:59,269 --> 00:09:02,727 Boo! 127 00:09:02,839 --> 00:09:05,307 I'm okay. 128 00:09:06,810 --> 00:09:10,246 Now that you've all agreed to reap the windfall of my death... 129 00:09:10,347 --> 00:09:14,044 I must return to my large, empty mansion to rattle around... 130 00:09:14,151 --> 00:09:17,211 and await the inevitable alone. 131 00:09:19,389 --> 00:09:22,415 - Are you thinking what I'm thinking? - Yeah. 132 00:09:22,526 --> 00:09:25,984 - Let's push him down the steps. - No! 133 00:09:26,096 --> 00:09:29,122 You know, Bart, since he is giving you all of his money... 134 00:09:29,232 --> 00:09:31,860 maybe it would be nice if you spent some time with him. 135 00:09:31,968 --> 00:09:34,266 - Well-- - Come on, honey. 136 00:09:34,371 --> 00:09:36,271 All right. 137 00:09:36,373 --> 00:09:38,341 How come Bart gets to do that... 138 00:09:38,442 --> 00:09:42,902 and I can't spend one night lurking in the bushes outside Chef Boyardee's house? 139 00:09:48,919 --> 00:09:53,481 Bart, I know you children see me as some sort of''booger man''... 140 00:09:53,590 --> 00:09:56,821 but, uh, I'm really not such a bad... dude. 141 00:09:56,927 --> 00:09:59,657 Oh, your milk's gone cold. I'll ring for the maid. 142 00:09:59,763 --> 00:10:03,494 - Whoa! - Oh, sorry. Wrong button. 143 00:10:04,901 --> 00:10:08,667 Um... I think I'd like to go home. 144 00:10:08,772 --> 00:10:11,764 If you stay, you can have anything you want to eat... 145 00:10:11,875 --> 00:10:14,036 even some sort of gelatin dish. 146 00:10:14,144 --> 00:10:16,169 It's made from hooves, you know. 147 00:10:16,279 --> 00:10:18,338 Anything, huh? 148 00:10:18,448 --> 00:10:21,246 Okay. I want pizza... 149 00:10:21,351 --> 00:10:24,377 and I want it delivered by Krusty the Clown. 150 00:10:24,488 --> 00:10:26,922 - Hmm. - Hmm. 151 00:10:27,023 --> 00:10:29,514 Hey, it's Krusty the Pizza Man! 152 00:10:29,626 --> 00:10:32,424 All right. Where's my 400 bucks? 153 00:10:32,529 --> 00:10:35,794 Hey, wait. How can you be here when your show's on live? 154 00:10:35,899 --> 00:10:39,198 Ah, I just threw on an old rerun. No one will know the difference. 155 00:10:39,302 --> 00:10:43,261 "Huh? Huh? Huh? 156 00:10:43,373 --> 00:10:46,137 Eh, children, remain calm. 157 00:10:46,243 --> 00:10:48,541 The Falkland Islands have just been invaded. 158 00:10:48,645 --> 00:10:51,113 I repeat, the Falklands have just been invaded! 159 00:10:51,214 --> 00:10:54,911 The disputed islands lie here, off the coast of Argentina. 160 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:59,250 This is my pride and joy. 161 00:10:59,356 --> 00:11:02,257 I've had hidden cameras planted in every home in Springfield. 162 00:11:02,359 --> 00:11:05,886 I got the idea from that movie, Sliver. What a delightful romp. 163 00:11:08,598 --> 00:11:11,863 Are you talking to me? There's no one else here. 164 00:11:11,968 --> 00:11:14,937 You must be talking to me. 165 00:11:15,038 --> 00:11:17,768 Well, that was an antique. Crap! 166 00:11:25,048 --> 00:11:28,540 Oh, yeah. So good. 167 00:11:28,652 --> 00:11:33,385 Oh, that explains his mysterious trip to Holland. 168 00:11:33,490 --> 00:11:35,958 And I had the greatest time. 169 00:11:36,059 --> 00:11:38,254 Mr. Burns's house has everything-- 170 00:11:38,361 --> 00:11:41,064 a hedge maze, a moat, bleached hardwood floors and a bottomless pit. 171 00:11:46,570 --> 00:11:48,128 - It couldn't possibly be bottomless. - For all intents and purposes. 172 00:11:48,238 --> 00:11:51,207 Hey! Mom, Bart's throwing peas! 173 00:11:51,308 --> 00:11:53,572 Bart, don't throw peas at your sister. 174 00:11:53,677 --> 00:11:55,907 Mr. Burns throws peas at Smithers. 175 00:11:56,012 --> 00:11:58,310 Ow! That was a big one! 176 00:11:58,415 --> 00:12:01,282 - Homer, say something. - Okay. 177 00:12:01,384 --> 00:12:04,649 Lisa, quit getting in the way of your wealthy brother's peas. 178 00:12:04,754 --> 00:12:07,450 Oh, yuck. Meat loaf. 179 00:12:07,557 --> 00:12:10,151 My most hated of all loafs. 180 00:12:11,194 --> 00:12:13,526 That was the end piece! 181 00:12:13,630 --> 00:12:16,929 That's it! Being abusive to your family is one thing... 182 00:12:17,033 --> 00:12:20,434 but I will not stand idly by and watch you feed a hungry dog! 183 00:12:20,537 --> 00:12:23,734 - Go to your room! - No! This family stinks! 184 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:27,776 Mr. Burns nurtures my destructive side. I'm suffocating here. 185 00:12:27,877 --> 00:12:30,869 - Bart, you listen! - Oh, go eat some flowers! 186 00:12:30,981 --> 00:12:33,142 My secret shame. 187 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,886 Smithers, my plan worked perfectly. 188 00:12:39,990 --> 00:12:42,288 Bart Simpson will live here as my son... 189 00:12:42,392 --> 00:12:45,725 and I will mold him in my own graven image. 190 00:12:45,829 --> 00:12:48,923 Who knows? I may even grow to... love him. 191 00:12:49,032 --> 00:12:51,296 Bartholomew! 192 00:12:51,401 --> 00:12:53,801 Ugh! Smithers, get it off me! 193 00:12:57,073 --> 00:13:00,270 - Bart, you're coming home. - I want to stay here with Mr. Burns. 194 00:13:00,377 --> 00:13:02,311 I suggest you leave immediately. 195 00:13:02,412 --> 00:13:05,313 Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees... 196 00:13:05,415 --> 00:13:09,408 or dogs with bees in their mouth, and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? 197 00:13:09,519 --> 00:13:12,283 Well, go ahead. Do your worst. 198 00:13:15,959 --> 00:13:19,156 He locked the door! I'll show him! 199 00:13:22,565 --> 00:13:26,296 I'm very concerned. Mr. Burns has stolen our son, and he won't give him back. 200 00:13:26,403 --> 00:13:30,032 Oh, for gosh-- Can't you people solve these problems yourselves? 201 00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:33,303 I mean, we can't be ''policing'' the whole city. 202 00:13:39,115 --> 00:13:41,242 Damn clogs. 203 00:13:41,351 --> 00:13:46,118 You good folks can rest easy because you've come to the very best in legal representation. 204 00:13:46,222 --> 00:13:50,056 Uh, excuse me. Is there an OrangeJulius stand on this floor? 205 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:51,627 I'll sell you this one. It's almost full. 206 00:13:51,728 --> 00:13:53,787 Why don't I drink out of a toilet bowl? 207 00:13:53,897 --> 00:13:56,866 He'll be back. As for your case, don't you worry. 208 00:13:56,966 --> 00:14:00,595 I've argued in front of every judge in the state, often as a lawyer. 209 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:06,604 This court rules in favor of Montgomery Burns. 210 00:14:06,710 --> 00:14:09,008 I find that he is clearly the boy's biological father. 211 00:14:11,848 --> 00:14:14,578 Uh,Judge, these won't be ready until Thursday. 212 00:14:14,684 --> 00:14:18,017 You know, we should really stop hiring him. 213 00:14:23,827 --> 00:14:26,193 - Cool train. Where does it go? - Beats me. 214 00:14:26,296 --> 00:14:28,890 But it won't be back for three hours and 40 minutes. 215 00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:30,966 - Once it had snow on it. - Wow, Bart! 216 00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:34,036 Mr. Burns gives you everything you could ever want. 217 00:14:34,137 --> 00:14:38,096 My parents use that old love excuse to screw me out of toys. 218 00:14:38,208 --> 00:14:41,234 Well, I'm sure you'd like to be alone with your possessions. 219 00:14:41,344 --> 00:14:45,974 Um, Milhouse, if you stay a little while longer... 220 00:14:46,082 --> 00:14:47,982 you can have this blazer. 221 00:14:48,084 --> 00:14:50,211 - It's a Bob Mackie original. - Wow! 222 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,618 A Bob Mackie! 223 00:14:52,722 --> 00:14:55,589 Uh... sorry, Bart. 224 00:14:56,626 --> 00:14:58,526 Oh. 225 00:14:58,628 --> 00:15:02,086 Bartholomew, you don't need him. I can be your school yard chum. 226 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,764 Five, 23, skidoo. Hut, hut! 227 00:15:09,172 --> 00:15:11,072 Oh! 228 00:15:12,642 --> 00:15:15,611 For me? But I don't know how to drive. 229 00:15:15,712 --> 00:15:18,306 Oh, pish-posh. There's a Jaws Of Life in the trunk. 230 00:15:18,414 --> 00:15:21,850 Whoa-ho! Whoo-hoo! 231 00:15:21,951 --> 00:15:25,318 Whoa! Oh! Whoo! 232 00:15:28,224 --> 00:15:30,249 Whoa! Whoa! 233 00:15:35,765 --> 00:15:38,529 - That was some ride. - You're telling me. 234 00:15:38,635 --> 00:15:40,830 Mr. and Mrs. Simpson... 235 00:15:40,937 --> 00:15:45,067 your son has clearly been brainwashed by the evil and charismatic Mr. Burns. 236 00:15:45,175 --> 00:15:47,609 Are you sure you can get him back for us? 237 00:15:47,710 --> 00:15:49,610 Absolutely. 238 00:15:49,712 --> 00:15:52,272 I'm the one who successfully deprogrammed Jane Fonda, you know. 239 00:15:52,382 --> 00:15:56,113 - What about Peter Fonda? - Oh, that was a heartbreaker. 240 00:15:56,219 --> 00:15:58,687 But I did get Paul McCartney out of Wings. 241 00:15:58,788 --> 00:16:01,382 You idiot! He was the most talented one! 242 00:16:08,531 --> 00:16:10,726 You do not love Mr. Burns. 243 00:16:10,834 --> 00:16:13,803 You love Homer and Marge. You are their son. 244 00:16:13,903 --> 00:16:17,430 What you are doing is wrong, wrong, wrong! 245 00:16:18,708 --> 00:16:21,370 Do you mind? You're killing the romance in here. 246 00:16:24,747 --> 00:16:28,308 Well, it was a grueling two weeks, but you have your son back. 247 00:16:28,418 --> 00:16:30,386 Ooh. 248 00:16:31,654 --> 00:16:33,986 Mom. Dad. I missed you. 249 00:16:34,090 --> 00:16:37,787 Aww! 250 00:16:37,894 --> 00:16:41,455 - Homer, that's Hans Moleman. - Can I keep him anyway? Huh? Huh? 251 00:16:41,564 --> 00:16:44,362 " ...Scratchy Show " 252 00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:20,133 Funny. 253 00:17:22,405 --> 00:17:24,305 That was delightful. 254 00:17:24,407 --> 00:17:28,639 Did you see that? That mouse butchered that cat like a hog.! 255 00:17:28,745 --> 00:17:31,475 Is all TV this wonderful? 256 00:17:31,581 --> 00:17:35,312 Um, I'd kind of like to go home now. 257 00:17:35,418 --> 00:17:37,318 Like a hog! 258 00:17:37,420 --> 00:17:39,320 I-- What? What was that? 259 00:17:39,422 --> 00:17:42,186 Mr. Burns, I don't want to seem ungrateful... 260 00:17:42,292 --> 00:17:44,988 but I want to go home to my family. 261 00:17:45,094 --> 00:17:48,063 I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell you this... 262 00:17:48,164 --> 00:17:51,656 but I'm afraid your family doesn't want you back. 263 00:17:54,771 --> 00:17:57,239 I do not miss Bart at all. 264 00:17:57,340 --> 00:17:59,638 I am glad he's gone. 265 00:17:59,742 --> 00:18:02,404 - As am I. - B'oh! 266 00:18:02,512 --> 00:18:04,503 It's probably my imagination... 267 00:18:04,614 --> 00:18:07,583 but something about them didn't seem quite right. 268 00:18:07,684 --> 00:18:10,812 Really? Excuse me for just a moment. 269 00:18:13,222 --> 00:18:15,190 People, that was all wrong! 270 00:18:15,291 --> 00:18:18,624 Homer Simpson doesn't say ''B'oh.'' He says-- 271 00:18:19,662 --> 00:18:22,130 ''D'oh.'' 272 00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:25,667 Sorry, M.B., but I'm having trouble with this character. 273 00:18:25,768 --> 00:18:28,999 Is he supposed to have some kind of neurological impairment... 274 00:18:29,105 --> 00:18:31,232 like Rain Man or Awakenings? 275 00:18:31,341 --> 00:18:33,809 I mean, what the hell am I doing here? 276 00:18:33,910 --> 00:18:37,505 And this dialogue has none of the wit and sparkle of Murphy Brown. 277 00:18:37,613 --> 00:18:40,639 Hey, you know we're getting into golden time? 278 00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:42,650 Yes, well,just get it right... 279 00:18:42,752 --> 00:18:45,220 or you'll all be back doing Come Blow Your Horn at the Westport Dinner Theater. 280 00:18:45,321 --> 00:18:48,848 All right then. Let's see what the old Simpson family is up to now. 281 00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:52,159 Duh-oh! 282 00:18:52,261 --> 00:18:55,753 That's them, all right. 283 00:18:55,865 --> 00:18:57,833 I can't believe it. 284 00:18:59,035 --> 00:19:03,495 I guess you're the only one I can trust. 285 00:19:03,606 --> 00:19:06,541 - Hmm? Hmm? - Dad? 286 00:19:08,811 --> 00:19:12,178 Oh! That rib always breaks. 287 00:19:17,153 --> 00:19:19,053 Lisa, what are you doing? 288 00:19:19,155 --> 00:19:22,056 Just trying to fill the void of random, meaningless destruction... 289 00:19:22,158 --> 00:19:24,718 that Bart's absence has left in our hearts. 290 00:19:24,827 --> 00:19:28,092 That's sweet, honey. 291 00:19:28,197 --> 00:19:31,530 - It's a little tight. - Yes, that's to correct your posture. 292 00:19:31,634 --> 00:19:33,602 Soon you'll have a mighty hump. 293 00:19:33,703 --> 00:19:36,672 Now you really are my son. 294 00:19:36,773 --> 00:19:38,866 This calls for a celebration. 295 00:19:38,975 --> 00:19:40,943 Let's fire some employees. 296 00:19:41,044 --> 00:19:42,602 Excellent. 297 00:19:45,515 --> 00:19:47,745 Okay, let's make this sporting, Leonard. 298 00:19:47,850 --> 00:19:51,650 If you can tell me why I shouldn't fire you without using the letter ''E''... 299 00:19:51,754 --> 00:19:53,847 you can keep your job. 300 00:19:53,956 --> 00:19:55,947 Uh, okay. Um-- 301 00:19:56,059 --> 00:19:59,927 - I'm a good work-- guy. - You're fired. 302 00:20:00,029 --> 00:20:01,587 - But I didn't say-- - You will. 303 00:20:01,697 --> 00:20:04,530 Eeeeeeee! 304 00:20:06,369 --> 00:20:08,837 Let me try one. 305 00:20:08,938 --> 00:20:12,396 Mmm. Mmm. Hey, the trail of donuts ended. 306 00:20:12,508 --> 00:20:14,601 - Bart! - Homer! 307 00:20:14,710 --> 00:20:16,610 What a coincidence! 308 00:20:16,712 --> 00:20:20,113 And a perfect opportunity for you to prove your loyalty. 309 00:20:20,216 --> 00:20:22,946 Go ahead, Bartholomew. You may fire when ready. 310 00:20:28,224 --> 00:20:30,124 Hurry. 311 00:20:30,226 --> 00:20:33,127 Fire him now or I'll disown you. You'll lose everything. 312 00:20:33,229 --> 00:20:36,221 The fabulous toys, a lifetime of wealth and luxury... 313 00:20:36,332 --> 00:20:38,562 the gift certificate from Blockbuster Video... 314 00:20:38,668 --> 00:20:41,136 the freedom to do whatever you want. 315 00:20:41,237 --> 00:20:43,102 I'll miss you, Son. 316 00:20:44,207 --> 00:20:47,040 I'm sorry, Dad. 317 00:20:47,143 --> 00:20:49,611 - You're fired! - What? 318 00:20:49,712 --> 00:20:51,703 Fire me? 319 00:20:51,814 --> 00:20:55,716 That does it. You can never be my son. 320 00:20:55,818 --> 00:20:59,117 - A little to the left. - Huh? Oh, very well. 321 00:20:59,222 --> 00:21:01,782 You can never be my-- 322 00:21:01,891 --> 00:21:04,359 Eeeeeeee! 323 00:21:04,460 --> 00:21:07,156 Sir, try to land on Leonard's carcass! 324 00:21:11,601 --> 00:21:14,968 Son, I know you're upset because you thought you saw us on TV... 325 00:21:15,071 --> 00:21:17,539 saying we didn't want you in our family... 326 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:21,132 - but those were just actors playing us. - How do you know? 327 00:21:21,244 --> 00:21:24,543 Because one of them hung out with me for a week, trying to get my character down. 328 00:21:24,647 --> 00:21:27,844 Yeah, me too. That midget taught me a lot about his native Estonia. 329 00:21:27,950 --> 00:21:31,147 The point is, the real Simpson family missed you a lot... 330 00:21:31,254 --> 00:21:34,155 and we're really glad you're home. 331 00:21:34,257 --> 00:21:37,624 - I love you guys. - Right back at you, Son. 332 00:21:39,795 --> 00:21:43,822 And now I want you to meet your new brother, Hans Moleman. 333 00:21:43,933 --> 00:21:46,458 Cowabunga, dudes. 334 00:21:50,706 --> 00:21:53,698 Give it a try. It's like kissing a peanut. 335 00:21:57,313 --> 00:22:00,282 Homer, I want that thing out of my house. 336 00:22:46,495 --> 00:22:48,463 Shh!