1 00:00:04,098 --> 00:00:07,397 ## The Simpsons ## 2 00:01:05,393 --> 00:01:07,361 D'oh! 3 00:01:27,682 --> 00:01:31,709 Yabba dabba do! 4 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:55,370 What do they do with these things After we seal 'em? 5 00:01:55,476 --> 00:01:59,537 I hear they dump 'em in an abandoned chalk mine and cover 'em with cement. 6 00:01:59,647 --> 00:02:02,980 I hear they're sending 'em to one of those southern states where the governor's a crook. 7 00:02:03,084 --> 00:02:05,211 Either way, I'm sleeping good tonight. 8 00:02:16,197 --> 00:02:19,826 - Well, sir, where shall we dump this batch? The playground? - No. 9 00:02:19,934 --> 00:02:24,530 All those bald children are arousing suspicion. To the park! 10 00:02:28,943 --> 00:02:31,207 - I think it's full, sir. - That's ridiculous! 11 00:02:31,312 --> 00:02:33,644 The last tree held nine drums. 12 00:02:44,959 --> 00:02:47,621 Agent Malone, Environmental Protection Agency. 13 00:02:47,728 --> 00:02:51,664 Some Boy Scouts stumbled on your little game of "hide the ooze." 14 00:02:56,270 --> 00:03:00,434 Mr. Burns, in light of your unbelievable contempt for human life... 15 00:03:00,541 --> 00:03:03,601 this court fines you three million dollars. 16 00:03:03,711 --> 00:03:07,340 Smithers, my wallet's in my right front pocket. 17 00:03:08,816 --> 00:03:13,014 Oh, and, uh, I'll take that statue of Justice too. 18 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:15,850 Sold! 19 00:03:15,957 --> 00:03:18,482 Oh, Andy Capp. 20 00:03:18,593 --> 00:03:21,494 You wife-beating drunk. 21 00:03:21,596 --> 00:03:24,292 Ooh! There's going to be a town meeting to decide... 22 00:03:24,398 --> 00:03:26,457 how to spend Mr. Burns's money. 23 00:03:26,567 --> 00:03:30,264 Oh, what a boon it could be for our under funded public schools. 24 00:03:32,673 --> 00:03:35,005 Children, it's time For your history lesson. 25 00:03:35,109 --> 00:03:37,009 Put on your virtual reality helmets. 26 00:03:40,848 --> 00:03:43,976 Mmm, excellent. Hello, Lisa. 27 00:03:44,085 --> 00:03:47,680 I'm Genghis Khan. You'll go where I go... 28 00:03:47,788 --> 00:03:51,121 defile what I defile, eat who I eat. 29 00:03:51,225 --> 00:03:53,125 Hmm? 30 00:03:53,227 --> 00:03:55,695 Come on, Lise. We both know how this money should... 31 00:03:55,796 --> 00:03:58,424 nay, must be spent. 32 00:04:05,806 --> 00:04:08,502 Aah! Oh! 33 00:04:08,609 --> 00:04:11,271 Bart, we'll do anything you want. 34 00:04:11,379 --> 00:04:14,314 just call off your giant mechanical ants! 35 00:04:14,415 --> 00:04:17,213 Aah! Whoa! 36 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,550 Well, I think we should spend the money on something... 37 00:04:21,656 --> 00:04:23,783 the whole town can be proud of. 38 00:04:23,891 --> 00:04:27,759 - Like a giant billboard that says, "No fat chicks"? - No! 39 00:04:31,699 --> 00:04:34,600 It looks like everyone in Springfield showed up for this. 40 00:04:34,702 --> 00:04:36,932 Ha-ha! 41 00:04:38,072 --> 00:04:40,939 Could this town be any stupider? 42 00:04:41,042 --> 00:04:44,273 Order! Please rise for the, uh, Pledge of Allegiance. 43 00:04:44,378 --> 00:04:46,676 - Get to the money! - In a moment. 44 00:04:46,781 --> 00:04:48,942 First, let's review the minutes from our last meeting. 45 00:04:49,050 --> 00:04:50,950 - Get to the money! - Get to the money! 46 00:04:51,052 --> 00:04:54,215 - Get to the money! - Very well. 47 00:04:54,321 --> 00:04:56,289 We will now hear suggestions for the, uh, disbursement... 48 00:04:56,390 --> 00:04:58,290 of the, uh, two million dollars. 49 00:04:58,392 --> 00:05:01,225 Don't you mean three million dollars? 50 00:05:01,328 --> 00:05:03,353 Of course. How silly of me. 51 00:05:03,464 --> 00:05:06,228 Excuse me. We could use the money to hire firemen... 52 00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:10,463 - to finally put out that blaze on the east side of town. - Boring! 53 00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:13,199 Hello. My name is Mr. Snrub... 54 00:05:13,307 --> 00:05:17,607 and I come from, uh, someplace far away. 55 00:05:17,712 --> 00:05:19,680 Yes, that will do. Anyway... 56 00:05:19,780 --> 00:05:23,546 I-I say we invest that money back in the nuclear plant. 57 00:05:23,651 --> 00:05:25,812 I like the way Snrub thinks. 58 00:05:35,529 --> 00:05:38,191 Pardon me, but I would like to see this money... 59 00:05:38,299 --> 00:05:40,324 spent on more police officers. 60 00:05:40,434 --> 00:05:42,664 I have been shot eight times this year... 61 00:05:42,770 --> 00:05:45,364 and as a result, I almost missed work. 62 00:05:45,473 --> 00:05:50,308 - Crybaby. - My name is Marge Simpson, and I have an idea. 63 00:05:50,411 --> 00:05:53,505 - It may sound a little boring at first. - Chat a way. 64 00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:57,141 I'll just amuse myself with some pornographic playing cards. 65 00:05:57,251 --> 00:06:00,482 Oh. Well, Surely you've all noticed... 66 00:06:00,588 --> 00:06:03,352 the terrible condition Main Street is in. 67 00:06:06,393 --> 00:06:09,624 Many of us have destroyed it By leaving winter chains on our tires... 68 00:06:09,730 --> 00:06:11,823 and carrying too much weight. 69 00:06:13,567 --> 00:06:16,092 Whoo-hoo! Look at that pavement fly! 70 00:06:16,203 --> 00:06:20,196 And those potholes are becoming a real nuisance. 71 00:06:20,307 --> 00:06:22,275 Ho! 72 00:06:25,312 --> 00:06:27,507 Now hold on just one minute. 73 00:06:27,615 --> 00:06:31,415 Sure, we could fix up Main Street. 74 00:06:31,519 --> 00:06:33,953 We could put all our eggs in one basket. 75 00:06:35,890 --> 00:06:38,586 Shut up! I wasn't done yet. 76 00:06:38,692 --> 00:06:41,627 I'm just saying we could blow all our money... 77 00:06:41,729 --> 00:06:45,028 on a stupid little street, but-- 78 00:06:47,635 --> 00:06:50,729 Oh! I ain't fer it. I'm agin it! 79 00:06:50,838 --> 00:06:53,705 Main Street! Main Street! Main Street! 80 00:06:53,808 --> 00:06:56,333 All those in favor Of Grampa Simpson's plan... 81 00:06:56,443 --> 00:06:59,879 for rebuilding Main Street, please-- 82 00:06:59,980 --> 00:07:03,973 You know, a town with money's a little like the mule with a spinning wheel. 83 00:07:04,084 --> 00:07:07,485 No one knows how he got it, and danged if he knows how to use it. 84 00:07:07,588 --> 00:07:11,319 Mule. 85 00:07:11,425 --> 00:07:14,451 The name's Lanley, Lyle Lanley... 86 00:07:14,562 --> 00:07:17,622 and I come before you good people tonight with an idea. 87 00:07:17,731 --> 00:07:21,223 Probably the greatest-- Ah, it's not for you. 88 00:07:21,335 --> 00:07:23,997 It's more of a Shelbyville idea. 89 00:07:24,104 --> 00:07:26,004 Now wait just a minute. 90 00:07:26,106 --> 00:07:28,404 We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville. 91 00:07:28,509 --> 00:07:30,739 just tell us your idea, and we'll vote for it. 92 00:07:30,845 --> 00:07:33,609 All right. I tell you what I'll do. 93 00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,841 I'll show you my idea. 94 00:07:35,950 --> 00:07:40,910 I give you the Springfield Monorail! 95 00:07:41,021 --> 00:07:44,957 I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook... 96 00:07:45,059 --> 00:07:48,426 and by gum, it put them on the map! 97 00:07:48,529 --> 00:07:50,588 Well, sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine, bona fide... 98 00:07:50,698 --> 00:07:52,598 electrified, six-car monorail. 99 00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:54,600 - What'd I say? - Monorail! 100 00:07:54,702 --> 00:07:56,602 - What's it called? - Monorail! 101 00:07:56,704 --> 00:08:00,868 - That's right, monorail! - Monorail. Monorail. Monorail. 102 00:08:00,975 --> 00:08:03,000 I hear those things are awfully loud. 103 00:08:03,110 --> 00:08:05,010 It glides as softly as a cloud. 104 00:08:05,112 --> 00:08:07,171 Is there a chance the track could bend? 105 00:08:07,281 --> 00:08:09,181 Not on your life, my Hindu friend. 106 00:08:09,283 --> 00:08:11,217 What about us brain-dead slobs? 107 00:08:11,318 --> 00:08:13,218 You'll be given cushy jobs. 108 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,220 Were you sent here by the devil? 109 00:08:15,322 --> 00:08:17,153 No, good sir. I'm on the level. 110 00:08:17,258 --> 00:08:19,158 The ring came off my pudding can! 111 00:08:19,260 --> 00:08:20,989 Take my pen knife, my good man. 112 00:08:21,095 --> 00:08:23,154 I swear it's Springfield's only choice. 113 00:08:23,264 --> 00:08:25,255 Throw up your hands and raise your voice. 114 00:08:25,366 --> 00:08:27,266 What's it called? 115 00:08:27,368 --> 00:08:29,268 Once again! 116 00:08:33,107 --> 00:08:35,473 But Main Street's still all cracked and broken. 117 00:08:35,576 --> 00:08:37,339 Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken. 118 00:08:44,385 --> 00:08:45,909 Monorail! 119 00:08:46,020 --> 00:08:47,920 Mono-- D'oh! 120 00:08:51,892 --> 00:08:53,792 Monorail! Monorail! Monorail! 121 00:08:53,894 --> 00:08:56,829 I still think we should have spent the money to fix Main Street. 122 00:08:56,931 --> 00:09:00,526 - Well, you should have written a song like that guy. 123 00:09:00,634 --> 00:09:03,762 Thank you for coming, Mr. Lanley. I'm Miss Hoover. 124 00:09:03,871 --> 00:09:06,305 Miss Hoover? That is hard to believe. 125 00:09:06,407 --> 00:09:08,307 Oh, you. 126 00:09:08,409 --> 00:09:11,037 I'm here to answer any questions you children have about the monorail. 127 00:09:11,145 --> 00:09:12,703 - Me! - Me! 128 00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:15,145 - Can it outrun The Flash? - You bet. 129 00:09:15,249 --> 00:09:17,308 Can Superman outrun The Flash? 130 00:09:17,418 --> 00:09:20,444 Uh, sure. Why not? Hello, little girl. 131 00:09:20,554 --> 00:09:23,318 Wondering if your dolly can ride the monorail for free? 132 00:09:23,424 --> 00:09:25,358 Hardly. I'd like you to explain... 133 00:09:25,459 --> 00:09:27,359 why we should build a mass transit system... 134 00:09:27,461 --> 00:09:30,328 in a small town with a centralized population. 135 00:09:30,431 --> 00:09:32,331 Young lady... 136 00:09:32,433 --> 00:09:35,231 that's the most intelligent question I've ever been asked. 137 00:09:35,336 --> 00:09:37,395 - Really? - Oh, I could give you an answer. 138 00:09:37,504 --> 00:09:40,405 But the only ones who'd understand it would be you and me... 139 00:09:40,507 --> 00:09:42,407 and that includes your teacher. 140 00:09:44,511 --> 00:09:47,571 Next question. You there, eating the paste. 141 00:09:47,681 --> 00:09:50,479 Coming soon, it's Truckasaurus: The Movie... 142 00:09:50,584 --> 00:09:53,519 starring Marlon Brando as the voice of John Truckasaurus. 143 00:09:53,620 --> 00:09:56,748 You crazy car. I don't know whether... 144 00:09:56,857 --> 00:10:01,191 - to eat you or kiss you. - Celebrity voice impersonated. 145 00:10:02,529 --> 00:10:04,759 - Are you stuck in a dead-end job? - Maybe. 146 00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:07,834 Are you squandering the precious gift Of life in front of the idiot box? 147 00:10:07,935 --> 00:10:11,063 - What's it to you? - Are you on your third beer of the evening? 148 00:10:11,171 --> 00:10:13,401 Does whiskey count as beer? 149 00:10:13,507 --> 00:10:17,443 Well, maybe it's time you joined the exciting field of monorail conducting... 150 00:10:17,544 --> 00:10:19,910 by enrolling at the Lanley Institute. 151 00:10:20,014 --> 00:10:22,448 Actual institute may not match photo. 152 00:10:22,549 --> 00:10:24,517 Marge, I wanna be a monorail conductor. 153 00:10:24,618 --> 00:10:27,678 - Homer, no. - It's my lifelong dream. 154 00:10:27,788 --> 00:10:30,951 Your lifelong dream was to run out on the field during a baseball game... 155 00:10:31,058 --> 00:10:32,958 and you did it last year, remember? 156 00:10:36,196 --> 00:10:38,061 Oh, yeah. 157 00:10:39,166 --> 00:10:40,758 Good evening. 158 00:10:40,868 --> 00:10:44,360 Before we begin, is anyone here an investigative reporter? 159 00:10:44,471 --> 00:10:47,872 - I am, and she is. - Well, I'd like you to please leave. 160 00:10:47,975 --> 00:10:50,034 - Should we take our hidden camera? - Would you? 161 00:10:50,144 --> 00:10:52,112 Let's go, Phil. 162 00:10:53,981 --> 00:10:58,418 True or false: You can get mono from riding the monorail. 163 00:10:58,519 --> 00:11:01,420 Mmm, false. No, wait. Maybe it's true. 164 00:11:01,522 --> 00:11:03,149 No, you were right. It's false. 165 00:11:03,257 --> 00:11:07,921 - Wow. You really are gonna be a monorail conductor. - That's right, boy. 166 00:11:08,028 --> 00:11:09,757 You know, I used to think you were stuck... 167 00:11:09,863 --> 00:11:11,990 in an emasculating, go-nowhere job. 168 00:11:12,099 --> 00:11:16,331 - Kids. - But now, I wanna follow in your footsteps. 169 00:11:16,437 --> 00:11:18,632 Do you want to change your name to Homer Junior? 170 00:11:18,739 --> 00:11:20,832 The kids can call you Hoju. 171 00:11:20,941 --> 00:11:22,772 I'll get back to you. 172 00:11:22,876 --> 00:11:25,174 Come on! Keep it comin'! 173 00:11:25,279 --> 00:11:27,611 Over. Over. 174 00:11:27,714 --> 00:11:31,115 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Hi, Homer! 175 00:11:33,587 --> 00:11:36,351 Oh, I hate that sound. 176 00:11:36,457 --> 00:11:40,518 According to this book, the monorail goes over 1 50 miles an hour. 177 00:11:40,627 --> 00:11:42,686 - What if something goes wrong? - What if? 178 00:11:42,796 --> 00:11:46,493 What if I'm taking a shower and I slip on a bar of soap? 179 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,500 Oh, my God, I'd be killed! 180 00:11:48,602 --> 00:11:51,503 It frightens me that you want to work on something that's so unsafe. 181 00:11:51,605 --> 00:11:54,733 We monorail conductors are a crazy breed... 182 00:11:54,842 --> 00:11:59,609 half in love with death, gobbling up danger like ordinary men eat peanuts. 183 00:11:59,713 --> 00:12:02,113 - Am I turning you on? - No. 184 00:12:02,216 --> 00:12:04,582 - What if I undo this button? - Good night, Homer. 185 00:12:04,685 --> 00:12:06,585 What if I talk like this? 186 00:12:06,687 --> 00:12:09,656 What if I sing to you? 187 00:12:15,863 --> 00:12:19,026 Mmm, chicken. 188 00:12:19,133 --> 00:12:22,193 So then, "mono" means "one," 189 00:12:22,302 --> 00:12:24,327 and "rail" means "rail." 190 00:12:24,438 --> 00:12:27,202 And that concludes our intensive three-week course. 191 00:12:27,307 --> 00:12:30,105 Hey, wait, man. Who gets to be conductor? 192 00:12:30,210 --> 00:12:34,544 Oh, right, that. Well, I've been monitoring your progress closely. 193 00:12:34,648 --> 00:12:38,379 - But this gentleman here clearly stands out above the rest. - Who, me? 194 00:12:38,485 --> 00:12:40,350 - Yeah, sure. - Whoo-hoo! 195 00:12:40,454 --> 00:12:44,584 After an exhaustive search, Springfield has found its monorail conductor-- 196 00:12:44,691 --> 00:12:47,387 Homer Simpson. 197 00:12:49,329 --> 00:12:54,494 And this is the snack holder where I can put my beverage or, if you will, cupcake. 198 00:12:54,601 --> 00:12:57,399 Wow, Dad. You really know your monorails. 199 00:13:00,841 --> 00:13:03,810 Homer, there's a family Of possums in here. 200 00:13:03,911 --> 00:13:06,141 I call the big one Bitey. 201 00:13:06,246 --> 00:13:08,737 I'm going to see Mr. Lanley. 202 00:13:10,684 --> 00:13:14,916 Mr. Lanley? Mr. Lanley? 203 00:13:25,966 --> 00:13:27,729 Oh! 204 00:13:27,834 --> 00:13:30,997 - How much did you see? - Uh, nothing incriminating. 205 00:13:31,104 --> 00:13:34,369 - Good. - Well, bye. 206 00:13:34,474 --> 00:13:36,999 I don't know why I leave this lying around. 207 00:13:37,110 --> 00:13:41,877 I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook. 208 00:13:41,982 --> 00:13:44,542 Is there a chance the track could bend? 209 00:13:44,651 --> 00:13:46,812 I call the big one Bitey. 210 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:51,016 I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook. 211 00:13:51,124 --> 00:13:53,592 Is there a chance the track could bend? 212 00:13:53,694 --> 00:13:55,958 I call the big one Bitey. 213 00:14:11,945 --> 00:14:16,575 Go away! There ain't no monorail, and there never was! 214 00:14:21,088 --> 00:14:25,320 Excuse me, miss. You asked about the monorail? 215 00:14:25,425 --> 00:14:28,656 - Who are you? - My name is Sebastian Kobb. 216 00:14:28,762 --> 00:14:31,731 Lanley hired me to build his monorail. 217 00:14:31,832 --> 00:14:35,268 He cut corners everywhere-- bad wiring, faulty brakes. 218 00:14:35,369 --> 00:14:38,395 And the celebrity on the maiden voyage was Gallagher. 219 00:14:39,806 --> 00:14:41,706 This is all that's left... 220 00:14:41,808 --> 00:14:45,073 of one of the crappiest trains ever built. 221 00:14:45,178 --> 00:14:47,544 Mr. Kobb, what can we do? 222 00:14:47,648 --> 00:14:50,344 You just better have a damn good conductor. 223 00:14:51,818 --> 00:14:54,343 I locked my keys in there. Get a rock. 224 00:14:59,693 --> 00:15:02,389 Ladies and gentlemen, nothing brings out the stars... 225 00:15:02,496 --> 00:15:05,090 like the maiden voyage of a monorail. 226 00:15:05,198 --> 00:15:09,601 Everyone's here, from recently outed leading man Dash Calhoun... 227 00:15:09,703 --> 00:15:12,695 - to Krusty the Clown. - Hey, hey! 228 00:15:12,806 --> 00:15:16,264 Krusty, why won't you answer my calls? You've never even seen our son! 229 00:15:19,112 --> 00:15:21,171 Here's one of those loveable high-schoolers... 230 00:15:21,281 --> 00:15:24,216 from TV's Springfield Heights, 90210. 231 00:15:24,318 --> 00:15:28,118 He's cool, he's sexy, he's 34 years old. 232 00:15:28,221 --> 00:15:31,315 Let's hear it for Kyle Darren! 233 00:15:31,425 --> 00:15:34,861 And here's country singing sensation Lurleen Lumpkin... 234 00:15:34,961 --> 00:15:37,828 fresh from her latest stay at the Betty Ford Clinic! 235 00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:44,436 - What ya been up to, Lurleen? - I spent last night in a ditch. 236 00:15:44,538 --> 00:15:46,438 How about that, folks? 237 00:15:46,540 --> 00:15:49,771 Now I'd like to turn things over to our grand marshal... 238 00:15:49,876 --> 00:15:51,776 Mr. Leonard Nimoy. 239 00:15:51,878 --> 00:15:55,279 I'd say this vessel could do at least warp five. 240 00:15:57,050 --> 00:15:58,950 And let me say... 241 00:15:59,052 --> 00:16:01,816 "May the force be with you." 242 00:16:01,922 --> 00:16:04,755 - Do you even know who I am? - I think I do. 243 00:16:04,858 --> 00:16:06,758 Weren't you one Of the Little Rascals? 244 00:16:09,796 --> 00:16:12,924 Mr. Lanley! Aren't you gonna ride the monorail? 245 00:16:13,033 --> 00:16:15,763 Little lady, I'd love to, but I have to catch a plane. 246 00:16:15,869 --> 00:16:19,669 - The ride only takes a minute. - Yeah, well, my plane leaves in less than one minute. 247 00:16:23,443 --> 00:16:28,176 All aboard! 248 00:16:42,362 --> 00:16:44,353 We're too late! 249 00:16:44,464 --> 00:16:47,160 I shouldn't have stopped for that haircut. Sorry. 250 00:16:55,876 --> 00:16:58,538 Actually, you see, the doors on Star Trek were not mechanical. 251 00:16:58,645 --> 00:17:00,704 We had a stagehand on either side... 252 00:17:00,814 --> 00:17:04,580 - who would pull the door open when he saw you approach. - Uh-huh. 253 00:17:04,684 --> 00:17:08,381 Stick your head out the window, boy. It's the greatest! 254 00:17:08,488 --> 00:17:10,718 Yee-haw! 255 00:17:30,710 --> 00:17:34,271 - Can't you stop it, Dad? - I'm trying my best. 256 00:17:34,381 --> 00:17:37,817 The lever you have pulled--brakes-- Is not in service. 257 00:17:37,918 --> 00:17:39,545 Please make a note of it. 258 00:17:39,653 --> 00:17:42,884 - How fast are they going? - Yikes! 259 00:17:42,989 --> 00:17:45,549 Well, judging by your husband's cowardly scream... 260 00:17:45,659 --> 00:17:47,889 - 180 miles an hour. - Yikes! 261 00:17:51,331 --> 00:17:54,994 Ah. It's making me dizzy. I'm gonna take a nap. 262 00:17:55,101 --> 00:17:57,934 - All right, I'm in charge here. - Oh, run along, Quimby. 263 00:17:58,038 --> 00:18:00,370 I think they're dedicating a phone booth somewhere. 264 00:18:00,474 --> 00:18:02,305 Watch it, you talking tub of donut batter. 265 00:18:02,409 --> 00:18:04,309 Hey, I got pictures of you, Quimby. 266 00:18:04,411 --> 00:18:06,470 You don't scare me. That could be anyone's ass. 267 00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:08,878 Now beat it! I'm calling the shots. 268 00:18:08,982 --> 00:18:12,315 I think that sash is cutting off the air to your brain. 269 00:18:12,419 --> 00:18:15,820 The town charter says that in an emergency, I run the show. 270 00:18:15,922 --> 00:18:18,550 Well, we'll just see about that. Let's go to town hall. 271 00:18:18,658 --> 00:18:22,560 Fine! Should we take one car, or should I follow you? 272 00:18:22,662 --> 00:18:25,153 Hey, according to the charter... 273 00:18:25,265 --> 00:18:28,257 as chief constable I'm supposed to get a pig every month... 274 00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:32,862 - "and two comely lasses of virtue true." - Keep the pig. 275 00:18:32,973 --> 00:18:36,374 - How many broads do I get? - Hey, hey, let go! You're rippin' it! 276 00:18:36,476 --> 00:18:38,376 - No, you are! - No, you are! 277 00:18:38,478 --> 00:18:40,605 Let go. That's the charter. 278 00:18:40,714 --> 00:18:43,911 Wait a minute. We can just shut off the power! 279 00:18:44,017 --> 00:18:46,247 No such luck. It's solar-powered. 280 00:18:46,353 --> 00:18:49,288 Solar power. When will people learn? 281 00:18:51,725 --> 00:18:53,625 A solar eclipse. 282 00:18:53,727 --> 00:18:58,061 - The cosmic ballet goes on. - Does anyone want to switch seats? 283 00:19:06,172 --> 00:19:08,732 I did it. 284 00:19:10,343 --> 00:19:12,436 D'oh! 285 00:19:12,546 --> 00:19:15,344 Folks, this is your captain speaking. 286 00:19:15,448 --> 00:19:20,283 Our nonstop flight to Tahiti will be making a brief layover in North Haverbrook. 287 00:19:20,387 --> 00:19:23,083 North Haverbrook. Where have I heard that name before? 288 00:19:23,189 --> 00:19:25,089 Oh, no. Oh, no! 289 00:19:25,191 --> 00:19:28,888 There he is-- seat 3-F! 290 00:19:35,669 --> 00:19:38,035 Krusty wants out! 291 00:19:40,373 --> 00:19:43,069 No. The world needs laughter. 292 00:19:43,176 --> 00:19:45,940 - Are we gonna die, son? - Yeah. 293 00:19:46,046 --> 00:19:48,640 But at least we'll take a lot of innocent people with us. 294 00:19:48,748 --> 00:19:51,148 - Homer? Homer? - Y'ello? 295 00:19:51,251 --> 00:19:53,913 Homer, there's a man here who thinks he can help you. 296 00:19:54,020 --> 00:19:55,988 - Batman? - No, he's a scientist. 297 00:19:56,089 --> 00:19:58,956 - Batman's a scientist. - It's not Batman! 298 00:19:59,059 --> 00:20:01,357 I think I have a way to stop the train. 299 00:20:01,461 --> 00:20:03,429 You need to find an anchor of some sort. 300 00:20:07,901 --> 00:20:09,801 Think harder, Homer. 301 00:20:17,510 --> 00:20:19,410 I'll take that. 302 00:20:29,222 --> 00:20:32,453 Uh, Dad? 303 00:20:47,607 --> 00:20:52,670 Now, separating Siamese twins is a long and costly procedure. 304 00:20:52,779 --> 00:20:55,839 Huh? 305 00:20:59,152 --> 00:21:01,916 Arr! Ya call that an anchor? 306 00:21:14,934 --> 00:21:16,834 Huh? 307 00:21:18,505 --> 00:21:21,872 Donuts. Is there anything they can't do? 308 00:21:21,975 --> 00:21:25,206 - Dad, you're a hero. - Yes, son. 309 00:21:25,311 --> 00:21:28,769 I'm the best mono-thingy guy there ever was. 310 00:21:31,317 --> 00:21:33,376 Well, my work is done here. 311 00:21:33,486 --> 00:21:35,386 What do you mean, Your work is done? 312 00:21:35,488 --> 00:21:37,513 You didn't do anything. 313 00:21:37,624 --> 00:21:40,354 Didn't I? 314 00:21:44,030 --> 00:21:45,930 And that was the only folly... 315 00:21:46,032 --> 00:21:50,230 the people of Springfield ever embarked upon... 316 00:21:50,336 --> 00:21:53,567 except for the Popsicle stick skyscraper... 317 00:21:54,841 --> 00:21:58,902 and the 50-foot magnifying glass... 318 00:21:59,012 --> 00:22:01,480 and that escalator to nowhere. 319 00:22:01,581 --> 00:22:03,173 Whoa! 320 00:22:03,283 --> 00:22:05,478 Aah! 321 00:22:05,585 --> 00:22:07,485 Aah! 322 00:22:07,587 --> 00:22:10,590 - Whoa! - Aah! 323 00:22:55,635 --> 00:22:57,762 Shh!