1 00:00:02,527 --> 00:00:04,486 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,213 Ho, ho, ho! 3 00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:11,385 (shrieks) 4 00:00:16,559 --> 00:00:18,308 (school bell rings) 5 00:00:21,022 --> 00:00:22,021 (grunts) 6 00:00:24,933 --> 00:00:27,084 -(bicycle bell rings) -(barking) 7 00:00:27,186 --> 00:00:28,694 Merry Christmas! 8 00:00:28,887 --> 00:00:30,821 (electronic beeping) 9 00:00:32,575 --> 00:00:35,517 (munching) 10 00:00:35,578 --> 00:00:37,519 Oh, stupid Flanders. 11 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,853 ("game over" noise plays) 12 00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:39,913 D'oh! 13 00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:50,440 Oh, thanks for bringing me up here, Dad. 14 00:00:50,459 --> 00:00:52,109 It's magnificent. 15 00:00:52,169 --> 00:00:54,553 Ugh, I could really use it after what happened today. 16 00:00:54,746 --> 00:00:56,463 Aw, sweetie, are you still mad 17 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,782 about that big dumb jerk at school? 18 00:00:58,842 --> 00:01:00,225 She's my teacher. 19 00:01:00,418 --> 00:01:02,286 And her name is Miss Hoover. 20 00:01:02,304 --> 00:01:03,954 It's unforgivable what she did. 21 00:01:04,014 --> 00:01:05,305 What was it again? 22 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,149 (groans) 23 00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:12,796 Breakfast! 24 00:01:12,856 --> 00:01:14,823 Here you go. 25 00:01:15,859 --> 00:01:17,317 Melon?! Ugh. 26 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,152 Marge, no one dreams of waking up 27 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,154 to the sounds of frying melon. 28 00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,231 -Yeah, Marge. -See? 29 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,918 Your fruit breakfast has turned him into a first name user. 30 00:01:26,111 --> 00:01:28,253 For once, could this family start the day 31 00:01:28,446 --> 00:01:31,090 with fruit instead of greasy animal fat? 32 00:01:31,283 --> 00:01:32,649 Even the dog is sweating grease. 33 00:01:32,751 --> 00:01:34,718 (barking) 34 00:01:37,214 --> 00:01:40,415 He'll be back for breakfast and... (gasps) Oh, God! 35 00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:41,850 ♪ ♪ 36 00:01:43,795 --> 00:01:44,853 -(Marge gasps) -We got her! 37 00:01:45,889 --> 00:01:47,189 (groans) 38 00:01:49,059 --> 00:01:52,093 I think I've got the answer. 39 00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:54,262 Mm-hmm. Gravy up your fruit, boy? 40 00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:56,264 Look at me. I'm eating healthy. 41 00:01:56,325 --> 00:01:58,692 (gargling) 42 00:01:58,828 --> 00:02:00,119 (sighs) You win. 43 00:02:00,312 --> 00:02:01,453 I'll make bacon. 44 00:02:01,605 --> 00:02:03,180 Put away the gravy boat. 45 00:02:03,198 --> 00:02:05,940 They say the best days of a gravy boat owner's life 46 00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:08,943 are the day you get it and the day you get rid of it. 47 00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:10,337 (chuckles) 48 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:13,114 No, Bart, stop! 49 00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:16,693 This is my mobile for my "Who Inspires You?" project. 50 00:02:16,712 --> 00:02:20,305 Let me guess: it's gravity. The ultimate suck-up. 51 00:02:20,457 --> 00:02:24,292 (chuckles) Can't spell "gravity" without "gravy." 52 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,219 (chuckles) Have some more. 53 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:28,630 (gulps, sighs) 54 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,966 The subject I have chosen for my mobile is this lady. 55 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,043 Ta-da! 56 00:02:33,103 --> 00:02:36,321 Of course. Yes. Her. Absolutely. 57 00:02:36,473 --> 00:02:40,934 The woman who lives at the center of the Earth. 58 00:02:41,086 --> 00:02:42,828 It's Gladys West, the mathematician 59 00:02:43,021 --> 00:02:47,073 whose work in satellite geodesy helped create GPS. 60 00:02:47,168 --> 00:02:51,077 GPS. The invention that killed the "I got lost" excuse. 61 00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:53,839 Oh, gee, I'm sorry, Marge. 62 00:02:54,032 --> 00:02:57,734 I just can't find the restaurant for your sisters' birthday. 63 00:02:57,753 --> 00:03:00,995 GPS: Your destination is 60 feet ahead. 64 00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:02,163 Shut up. 65 00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:03,548 40 feet ahead. 66 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:04,999 Shut up! 67 00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:06,518 20 feet ahead. 68 00:03:06,711 --> 00:03:09,095 Just what I need: another woman who's always right. 69 00:03:09,248 --> 00:03:12,916 You have now arrived at Lovely Ladies Cigar Lounge. 70 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:17,604 You'll be cutting and serving the us-shaped cake. 71 00:03:17,756 --> 00:03:19,847 -(laughs) -Who wants a thigh? 72 00:03:19,909 --> 00:03:23,443 Curse you, Gladys West! 73 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,204 -(scoffs) -Dad, please! 74 00:03:25,355 --> 00:03:27,855 This mobile could be my ticket into Yale. 75 00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:29,950 Another Bush kid. Another Bush kid. 76 00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,118 How about this girl? 77 00:03:32,213 --> 00:03:34,287 Her grades and test scores are superb. 78 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,106 She's got boola. 79 00:03:36,166 --> 00:03:38,625 But does she have "Boola Boola"? 80 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:41,720 What about this mobile she did in the second grade? 81 00:03:41,871 --> 00:03:43,889 Accept. Full ride. 82 00:03:44,082 --> 00:03:47,300 ♪ Boola Boola, Boola Boola... ♪ 83 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:50,562 Ah, wha-- how did I get here? 84 00:03:50,714 --> 00:03:52,806 They say it's dangerous to wake up someone 85 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:55,049 who's dreaming of Yale. 86 00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:58,052 Well, just so I'm covered, let me dream of a safety school. 87 00:03:58,072 --> 00:04:00,647 (snores) UMass Amherst. 88 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,890 UMass Amherst. 89 00:04:02,952 --> 00:04:03,891 (snores) 90 00:04:03,953 --> 00:04:05,244 (school bell rings) 91 00:04:06,472 --> 00:04:08,247 Is Miss Hoover out sick? 92 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,807 No, I'm in sick. 93 00:04:10,826 --> 00:04:12,642 I sprained a disc in my back. 94 00:04:12,703 --> 00:04:14,327 It feels like I'm passing a kidney stone 95 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:15,921 while giving birth. 96 00:04:16,114 --> 00:04:18,498 I say "excuse me" when I give burps. 97 00:04:18,650 --> 00:04:20,150 Not the same, Ralph. 98 00:04:20,168 --> 00:04:22,261 Fortunately, my new Teaching With Stylus tablet 99 00:04:22,454 --> 00:04:25,264 lets me run the classroom from any position. 100 00:04:25,457 --> 00:04:28,100 (sighs) Let's get inspired. 101 00:04:28,293 --> 00:04:30,084 You might think "German chocolate cake" 102 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:32,996 originated in Germany, but nein. 103 00:04:33,056 --> 00:04:36,500 Actually, it was invented by an American mill worker 104 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,835 named Samuel German. 105 00:04:38,854 --> 00:04:40,112 (all gasp) 106 00:04:40,263 --> 00:04:43,507 I'm from America but my measles are German. 107 00:04:43,525 --> 00:04:46,526 I'm inspired by The Masked Singer and... 108 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:49,454 It doesn't come off. Help! 109 00:04:49,647 --> 00:04:54,334 Help! Help...! 110 00:04:56,246 --> 00:04:58,355 I know these presentations are boring 111 00:04:58,415 --> 00:05:00,357 and everyone hates them, so... 112 00:05:00,417 --> 00:05:01,691 -You're gonna stop? -Better. 113 00:05:01,752 --> 00:05:03,242 I'm gonna rap. 114 00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:05,220 (all groan) 115 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,724 (rapper beatboxing) 116 00:05:10,702 --> 00:05:12,293 ♪ ♪ 117 00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:14,888 ♪ Ah-ha-ha-ha, Gladys West, Gladys West ♪ 118 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,589 ♪ If you don't know where you're goin' ♪ 119 00:05:16,741 --> 00:05:18,241 ♪ She'll make sure your car don't get a towin' ♪ 120 00:05:18,243 --> 00:05:19,801 ♪ Satellite telemetry, should've been in ebony ♪ 121 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,653 ♪ When it comes to geodesy, she's got mad skills ♪ 122 00:05:21,763 --> 00:05:24,064 -♪ Like Yeezy ♪ -♪ We're giving props to ♪ 123 00:05:24,216 --> 00:05:25,398 ♪ Gladys West ♪ 124 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,400 ♪ We're giving props ♪ 125 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:30,053 ♪ 'Cause she's the best ♪ 126 00:05:30,113 --> 00:05:31,663 -Lisa. -♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo ♪ 127 00:05:31,856 --> 00:05:33,147 ♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪ 128 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:35,149 Lisa, you're over your two-minute limit. 129 00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:37,577 ♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪ 130 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,339 That's enough. Ralph, you're up. 131 00:05:40,490 --> 00:05:42,507 My hero is my thumb. 132 00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:45,660 It has its own room in my mittens. Thank you. 133 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,179 Okay. That's it. 134 00:05:47,372 --> 00:05:49,723 Now put the supplements to your reports on my desk. 135 00:05:55,064 --> 00:05:56,980 Give me a sec to post the grades. 136 00:06:00,218 --> 00:06:02,527 A B-minus? No, no. 137 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:06,031 This can't be right. This can't be right. 138 00:06:06,182 --> 00:06:09,109 The same grade as Ralph?! Sorry, Ralph, no offense. 139 00:06:09,261 --> 00:06:11,444 There's "a fence" around my bed 140 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,931 so I don't steal things from Daddy's squad car again. 141 00:06:14,950 --> 00:06:17,617 LOU: Chief, did you tell Snake he could have jail outside today? 142 00:06:17,769 --> 00:06:18,768 'Cause that's what he's saying. 143 00:06:18,787 --> 00:06:20,361 WIGGUM: Leave me alone. 144 00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:22,381 Listen, Miss "took too long on her presentation," 145 00:06:22,574 --> 00:06:24,958 it's not only right, it's easy 146 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,961 with my "Select All" B-minus option. 147 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,964 Miss Hoover, this is so unfair. 148 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:34,059 I come here every day eager to learn 149 00:06:34,252 --> 00:06:37,137 and you just put me down 150 00:06:37,289 --> 00:06:39,231 and complain about your job. 151 00:06:39,424 --> 00:06:41,141 In the end, what are you? 152 00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:43,384 You're just somebody who works off a formula 153 00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:45,404 that leaves no room for passion, 154 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,572 individual effort, 155 00:06:47,765 --> 00:06:50,057 or the process of learning itself. 156 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,392 -Mm. -In other words, 157 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:54,036 you're an uninspiring hack! 158 00:06:54,139 --> 00:06:57,140 Apologize immediately. 159 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,918 No. I told the truth. 160 00:07:00,111 --> 00:07:02,979 The truth has no place in this classroom. 161 00:07:03,039 --> 00:07:05,315 Lisa, go to detention. 162 00:07:05,375 --> 00:07:07,801 (echoing): Detention. Detention. Detention. 163 00:07:16,628 --> 00:07:19,829 One pencil with nervous teeth marks. 164 00:07:19,848 --> 00:07:23,424 One spelling bee winner's ribbon, faded. 165 00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:26,111 One quarter ounce of marijuana. 166 00:07:26,304 --> 00:07:28,188 Those are pencil shavings. 167 00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:31,007 Willie's water pipe will be the judge of that. 168 00:07:31,067 --> 00:07:33,577 ♪ ♪ 169 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:47,424 -(spitball ricochets) -♪ ♪ 170 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,817 Look at those arms. 171 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,820 Blank canvas for a Sharpie tattoo. 172 00:08:10,607 --> 00:08:13,049 Um, I'm actually a vegetarian. (laughs nervously) 173 00:08:13,068 --> 00:08:15,552 Okay, how do you feel about beets? 174 00:08:15,612 --> 00:08:18,497 Ooh, is this one of those questions that sets me up 175 00:08:18,690 --> 00:08:19,723 to get punched? 176 00:08:19,783 --> 00:08:21,649 Only one way to find out. 177 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,835 Yeah, tell us your opinion of beets. 178 00:08:24,028 --> 00:08:25,837 BART: Leave her alone, you jackals. 179 00:08:26,030 --> 00:08:28,155 ♪ ♪ 180 00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,675 This is the largest stink bomb they make. 181 00:08:30,868 --> 00:08:33,178 So powerful it could only be developed by a scientist 182 00:08:33,371 --> 00:08:35,329 without a nose. 183 00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:37,407 How did he know it worked? 184 00:08:37,425 --> 00:08:39,684 He smelled it... with his ears. 185 00:08:39,877 --> 00:08:42,095 -Whoa. -Uh-oh. -Oh. 186 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,189 And that girl's with me. 187 00:08:44,382 --> 00:08:45,506 Whoa! 188 00:08:46,184 --> 00:08:48,360 Well, well, well. Together at last. 189 00:08:48,553 --> 00:08:50,344 I didn't do anything wrong. 190 00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:53,590 Miss Hoover should be in detention, not me. 191 00:08:53,608 --> 00:08:55,200 There is a detention for teachers. 192 00:08:55,393 --> 00:08:56,760 It's called being a teacher. 193 00:08:56,820 --> 00:08:58,778 Now, let me show you my world. 194 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,539 Lots of gangs will recruit you: 195 00:09:00,732 --> 00:09:02,448 The Magnificent Seven-Year-Olds. 196 00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:05,526 Tardy Incorporated. Hell's Angles. 197 00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,587 (excited murmuring) 198 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:13,626 My greatest weapon is inside my head. My mucus. 199 00:09:13,779 --> 00:09:15,554 Ms. Timberwood! 200 00:09:15,747 --> 00:09:17,705 In here, she doesn't know you. 201 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,558 She used to call me Sunshine. 202 00:09:19,751 --> 00:09:21,393 I call all the girls Sunshine. 203 00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:23,970 I call all the boys Joe Cool. 204 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,623 Oh, you said I was the only Joe Cool! 205 00:09:26,725 --> 00:09:28,458 -(grunts) -(sniffs) 206 00:09:28,518 --> 00:09:31,978 That's actually lavender, so, thank you. 207 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,530 BART: !Ay caramba! 208 00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:36,491 (sobbing): No...! 209 00:09:41,105 --> 00:09:43,248 (sniffles) No dinner for me. 210 00:09:43,441 --> 00:09:45,250 I'm too miserable to eat again. 211 00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:47,586 This is pretty rough on me, too. 212 00:09:49,781 --> 00:09:51,047 (sobbing) 213 00:09:52,301 --> 00:09:53,817 (muffled sobbing) 214 00:09:53,918 --> 00:09:56,319 Please pull the covers off. 215 00:09:56,421 --> 00:10:00,448 No, I don't want to live in the world above the covers. 216 00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:01,641 (sighs) 217 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:06,329 I worked so hard on my mobile. 218 00:10:06,389 --> 00:10:09,608 I know. And Miss Hoover wasn't very nice. 219 00:10:09,801 --> 00:10:11,684 Thank you, Mom. 220 00:10:11,837 --> 00:10:13,353 But you weren't very nice, either. 221 00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:14,446 What?! 222 00:10:14,639 --> 00:10:16,189 Hey, are we camping out here? 223 00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:18,508 Because I have a great campfire story. 224 00:10:18,568 --> 00:10:21,694 About a man betrayed by his own hand. 225 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,438 What the...? Oh, oh, my God, it's you! 226 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:27,292 (choking) 227 00:10:27,443 --> 00:10:29,443 -Homer. -Yes, Marge. 228 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:33,189 I was going to encourage Lisa to apologize. 229 00:10:33,291 --> 00:10:34,615 But I shouldn't have to. 230 00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:37,043 Women say "I'm sorry" constantly 231 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,212 because men make us feel like we have to apologize 232 00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:40,621 for existing 233 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:43,032 while they do whatever they like. 234 00:10:43,093 --> 00:10:44,701 Yo. Milhouse is sleepin' over. 235 00:10:44,761 --> 00:10:46,386 -Awesome. -Huh? 236 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:47,687 (Lisa groans) 237 00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:50,890 Wah! 238 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,042 Ready to apologize, Lisa? 239 00:10:53,103 --> 00:10:54,986 We both know what's at stake here. 240 00:10:58,441 --> 00:11:00,659 Not so fast, Lisa. 241 00:11:00,810 --> 00:11:03,477 You didn't apologize to your second grade teacher, 242 00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:06,389 and all we do at Yale is apologize. 243 00:11:06,449 --> 00:11:09,483 ♪ Sorry, sorry, sorry ♪ 244 00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:12,729 ♪ Please excuse our quirks ♪ 245 00:11:12,747 --> 00:11:14,580 ♪ Quirks, quirks, quirks ♪ 246 00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:17,583 ♪ Won't you kindly listen ♪ 247 00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:21,254 ♪ To us rich male jerks? ♪ 248 00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:25,517 ♪ We sing for free. ♪ 249 00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:31,022 (shivering) 250 00:11:31,215 --> 00:11:34,526 Okay, Lisa, your future is in my hands. 251 00:11:34,719 --> 00:11:37,862 I'm-I'm... not sorry! 252 00:11:38,014 --> 00:11:39,605 I'm just glad I won't have you next year 253 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,107 as a teacher. 254 00:11:41,259 --> 00:11:44,185 I might just move to third grade to torment you. 255 00:11:44,246 --> 00:11:47,280 That would be a real hack move. 256 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,781 Ugh! 257 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,834 Freshen it up. 258 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,545 Love it. 259 00:11:58,334 --> 00:12:00,626 Personally, I never say I'm sorry. 260 00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:03,221 I say "I'm soggy." Teachers hear what they want. 261 00:12:03,414 --> 00:12:06,449 Bart Simpson, did you glue these recorders together? 262 00:12:06,468 --> 00:12:07,633 Soggy. 263 00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,969 -Forgiven. -And Willie can use it 264 00:12:10,121 --> 00:12:11,896 to whack the hornets' nests. 265 00:12:12,089 --> 00:12:14,381 -(hornets buzzing) -(grunting) 266 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,476 Yeah, come on and fight me like a man. 267 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:18,294 (grunting) 268 00:12:18,313 --> 00:12:20,646 Uh, which one of you does the negotiating? 269 00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:22,407 Miss Hoover? 270 00:12:22,558 --> 00:12:24,300 (clears throat) In reference to our 271 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:27,078 recent difficulty, I would just like to say 272 00:12:27,271 --> 00:12:28,638 I'm soggy. 273 00:12:28,698 --> 00:12:31,324 Did you just say "I'm soggy"? 274 00:12:31,476 --> 00:12:33,752 In addition to a hack, you must think I'm a fool. 275 00:12:33,945 --> 00:12:36,145 -Double detention. -(gasps) 276 00:12:36,206 --> 00:12:39,482 ♪ Who's soggy now? ♪ 277 00:12:39,542 --> 00:12:41,150 And that counts as your music education 278 00:12:41,252 --> 00:12:43,077 for the semester. 279 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,488 Feels kind of funny driving you home from detention. 280 00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:47,156 (chuckles) 281 00:12:47,175 --> 00:12:48,933 Yeah, well, it's gonna take me a few minutes 282 00:12:49,126 --> 00:12:51,418 to get used to being on the outside. 283 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:54,163 Honey, play the ad I forwarded you. 284 00:12:54,224 --> 00:12:55,774 ANNOUNCER: Having trouble with a relationship? 285 00:12:55,967 --> 00:12:58,259 Come to the Springfield Education Annex. 286 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,670 We'll teach you how to communicate honestly, 287 00:13:00,730 --> 00:13:02,338 how to lie convincingly, 288 00:13:02,398 --> 00:13:04,932 and how to apologize and mostly mean it. 289 00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:06,509 Apologize? 290 00:13:06,569 --> 00:13:08,361 Springfield Education Annex, 291 00:13:08,513 --> 00:13:10,437 located in the third abandoned mall on Route One. 292 00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:12,348 Don't park at the Greek church across the street. 293 00:13:12,367 --> 00:13:14,033 We're in a feud with them. 294 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,869 There's nothing orthodox about how fast they tow. 295 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:19,446 So, when apologizing from your heart, 296 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:23,117 saying sorry allows the healing process to begin. 297 00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:25,286 -Sorry I'm late. -What?! -She's sorry? 298 00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:27,329 Yeah, I've heard that one a lot. 299 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,032 Well, I don't mind saying I'm sorry 300 00:13:29,092 --> 00:13:30,383 when it's appropriate. 301 00:13:30,519 --> 00:13:33,036 Appropriate. Never heard of that word. 302 00:13:33,096 --> 00:13:35,054 I know "inappropriate." 303 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:36,964 -True. So true. -Oh, yes, yes. 304 00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:40,059 Now, to truly apologize, I find it helps 305 00:13:40,211 --> 00:13:43,470 to look at the world from the other person's perspective. 306 00:13:43,532 --> 00:13:44,989 Now, repeat after me. 307 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,325 I will not judge someone until I walk a mile 308 00:13:47,518 --> 00:13:49,218 in their shoes. 309 00:13:49,279 --> 00:13:51,496 I will not judge someone until 310 00:13:51,689 --> 00:13:55,408 I walk a mile in their shoes. 311 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,836 Well, what's the matter with the rest of you? 312 00:13:58,029 --> 00:13:59,912 Walk a mile? Please. 313 00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:02,048 Like, over how many years? 314 00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:04,551 (school bell rings) 315 00:14:06,203 --> 00:14:07,679 Huh? 316 00:14:07,872 --> 00:14:10,089 Miss Hoover takes the bus. I didn't know that. 317 00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:12,016 Actually, she takes two buses. 318 00:14:12,209 --> 00:14:14,185 Then she walks half a mile down a train track, 319 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,187 swings across a drainage ditch 320 00:14:16,339 --> 00:14:19,248 and rides a piece of cardboard down a hill to help her back. 321 00:14:19,350 --> 00:14:22,418 -Oh, that's terrible. -I guess. 322 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:25,922 You learn a lot of sad things when you sell weed to teachers. 323 00:14:26,024 --> 00:14:27,757 Make it a double. 324 00:14:27,859 --> 00:14:29,659 I'll be in the ball shed. 325 00:14:41,623 --> 00:14:44,957 -Excuse me, are you Jennifer Aniston? -No. 326 00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:48,720 That's exactly what Jennifer Aniston would say. 327 00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:52,181 ♪ ♪ 328 00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:05,403 Oh... Dear Lord, 329 00:15:05,554 --> 00:15:07,146 please grant me this winner. 330 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,816 I lost. And my quarter broke. 331 00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:12,468 Gee. 332 00:15:12,528 --> 00:15:15,079 ♪ ♪ 333 00:15:15,272 --> 00:15:16,497 -(grunting) -(back cracking) 334 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,419 Aw. 335 00:15:32,790 --> 00:15:35,158 Yeah, I'm the super. What are you doing here? 336 00:15:35,218 --> 00:15:37,084 Uh, I'm one of Miss Hoover's students, 337 00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,345 and I just want to understand her life. 338 00:15:39,497 --> 00:15:40,830 All right, come on in. 339 00:15:40,890 --> 00:15:43,499 How can I say no to a sweet face like yours, huh? 340 00:15:43,559 --> 00:15:47,019 Yeah, um, I have some business in 12-A. 341 00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:51,157 Yeah, how can I say no to a sweet face like yours? 342 00:15:52,977 --> 00:15:54,786 Here, Hemsworth, come cuddle. 343 00:15:54,979 --> 00:15:56,603 (cat mewls defiantly) 344 00:15:56,665 --> 00:15:58,790 I'm so alone. (sighs) 345 00:15:58,941 --> 00:16:01,033 Just don't eat me when I die. 346 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,352 (mewls oddly) 347 00:16:03,413 --> 00:16:05,688 (gasps) Is someone at the door? 348 00:16:05,748 --> 00:16:07,523 I-I can't turn my head. 349 00:16:07,583 --> 00:16:08,949 (sobs quietly) 350 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,452 There's a great blues song in here, 351 00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:13,696 but I don't know what it is. 352 00:16:13,756 --> 00:16:17,558 -Don't you drag us into your problems. -(crying) 353 00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,348 Dad, I'm ready to say I'm sorry, 354 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,058 but now it's not enough. 355 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,044 Lisa, you just gotta be sincere. 356 00:16:28,104 --> 00:16:30,304 If you have a disagreement with another driver, 357 00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:33,549 you simply say, "I'm sorry. Please go ahead." 358 00:16:33,609 --> 00:16:36,569 Then you follow 'em home and you pee in their gas tank. 359 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,070 You pee in there! 360 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,164 Just can't say "I'm sorry." 361 00:16:40,357 --> 00:16:42,483 Does that remind you of anyone, Carl? 362 00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,318 Oh, God, not this again. 363 00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:46,504 I have nothing to apologize for. 364 00:16:46,697 --> 00:16:49,173 You had 20 years to watch The Sixth Sense. 365 00:16:49,366 --> 00:16:51,175 That's beyond the spoiler window. 366 00:16:51,368 --> 00:16:53,511 Oh, so it's okay for me to tell you 367 00:16:53,704 --> 00:16:56,014 that the Lady Gaga Star is Born is exactly the same 368 00:16:56,165 --> 00:16:57,348 as all the other Star is Borns? 369 00:16:57,541 --> 00:17:00,501 (gasps) I'll kill you. I'll kill you! 370 00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:02,311 Goodbye, college fund. 371 00:17:06,350 --> 00:17:08,417 (grunts, crying) 372 00:17:08,436 --> 00:17:11,529 You were gonna pay for my mini fridge. 373 00:17:13,182 --> 00:17:15,424 I need to put a down payment on something for someone 374 00:17:15,485 --> 00:17:17,760 I really owe an apology to. 375 00:17:17,820 --> 00:17:20,705 A framed movie poster for The Three Amigos? 376 00:17:20,856 --> 00:17:22,598 It's better than you remember. 377 00:17:22,658 --> 00:17:25,451 -No. -All right, how about school supplies? 378 00:17:25,603 --> 00:17:28,838 I got a Scottish guy who sells 'em to me every week. 379 00:17:30,291 --> 00:17:31,440 Hi, Willie. 380 00:17:31,501 --> 00:17:34,627 Uh, uh, yo no hablo English. 381 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,462 Ach, the English. 382 00:17:36,614 --> 00:17:38,848 How I hate those wankers. 383 00:17:43,254 --> 00:17:45,563 Shh, shh, shh. She's coming. She's coming. 384 00:17:45,756 --> 00:17:47,231 (gasps) 385 00:17:47,424 --> 00:17:50,401 -Have a seat. Top of the line. -Oh... 386 00:17:50,594 --> 00:17:52,612 I can see your faces again. 387 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:55,147 And now my favorite. The ceiling. 388 00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:59,410 Miss Hoover, I'm sorry I made your life harder, 389 00:17:59,603 --> 00:18:02,488 and I hope this chair makes it easier. 390 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,399 Well, I don't accept your apology. 391 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,251 -What? -What am I supposed to do 392 00:18:07,444 --> 00:18:09,069 after you called me a hack? 393 00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:11,405 In retrospect, I might have been wrong. 394 00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:13,666 The sad truth is apologies can come too late 395 00:18:13,818 --> 00:18:15,409 to do any good. 396 00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:19,746 Congratulations, you just learned something from my class. 397 00:18:19,808 --> 00:18:21,324 I guess what you've learned is 398 00:18:21,384 --> 00:18:23,750 teachers shouldn't get tenure. 399 00:18:23,812 --> 00:18:26,329 There has to be a better lesson from this. 400 00:18:26,389 --> 00:18:27,830 There has to. 401 00:18:27,890 --> 00:18:30,182 You've planted a seed, sweetie. 402 00:18:30,335 --> 00:18:32,835 -The seed will grow. -Amen. 403 00:18:32,895 --> 00:18:35,338 Why is everyone on the roof? 404 00:18:35,398 --> 00:18:36,948 (doorbell ringing) 405 00:18:37,141 --> 00:18:40,343 I know you're in there. I'm old, but I'm not dead. 406 00:18:40,403 --> 00:18:42,194 Or is it the other way around? 407 00:18:42,347 --> 00:18:44,363 (doorbell ringing) 408 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,773 What does this do? 409 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:49,109 -(vibrating) -Oh, that's a surprise. 410 00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:52,037 (moans): Really quite nice. 411 00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:53,689 Oh, yeah. 412 00:18:53,791 --> 00:18:56,041 Miss Hoover, I've been thinking, 413 00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:58,785 and no offense, but I bought you a chair. 414 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,197 And that's really hard for an eight-year-old. 415 00:19:01,257 --> 00:19:03,549 -All is forgiven. -How forgiven? 416 00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:05,050 B-plus. 417 00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:06,202 I'll take it. 418 00:19:06,262 --> 00:19:08,037 Can I get a B-plus, too? 419 00:19:08,097 --> 00:19:09,522 -Sure. -D'oh. 420 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,225 -I'm soggy. -Listen, boy. 421 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:15,561 I'm on to you. I know you're saying "soggy," 422 00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:16,654 not "sorry." Mm. 423 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,322 You're right, you're right. 424 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,549 I completely apolo-cheese. 425 00:19:20,610 --> 00:19:22,326 -What? -I beg your par-ton. 426 00:19:22,519 --> 00:19:25,054 -Come again? -Guilty as Marged. 427 00:19:25,114 --> 00:19:27,331 I'll accept that. 428 00:19:27,483 --> 00:19:29,458 -Soggy. -Enough already. 429 00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:36,065 ♪ Lisa's at Yale ♪ 430 00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:39,177 ♪ She'll never fail ♪ 431 00:19:39,370 --> 00:19:43,681 ♪ She's got a huge college debt ♪ 432 00:19:43,832 --> 00:19:46,425 ♪ Debt, debt ♪ 433 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:49,336 Please, I'm trying to study! 434 00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:53,649 ♪ Then go to Brown. ♪ 435 00:19:55,753 --> 00:19:57,753 Um, can I have the book back? 436 00:19:57,855 --> 00:19:59,906 It cost $200. 437 00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:13,193 Now to dream of being a World War I flying ace. 438 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:15,955 (imitating engines roaring) 439 00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:19,050 (imitating gunfire) 440 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,219 (gunfire) 441 00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:31,062 (moans sadly) 442 00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:47,745 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 443 00:21:12,814 --> 00:21:14,855 Shh!