1 00:00:04,101 --> 00:00:07,400 " The Simpsons " 2 00:00:10,641 --> 00:00:12,609 D'oh! 3 00:00:26,790 --> 00:00:31,989 Uh, welcome to the new Springfield Center for Geriatric Medicine... 4 00:00:32,096 --> 00:00:35,497 You know, health care for the aging is an important priority-- 5 00:00:35,599 --> 00:00:40,298 Get to Matlock! Matlock! 6 00:00:40,404 --> 00:00:42,599 Well, um-- without further ado... 7 00:00:42,706 --> 00:00:46,642 I give you the man who puts young people behind bars... 8 00:00:46,744 --> 00:00:50,271 Where they belong-- TV's Matlock! 9 00:00:55,219 --> 00:00:58,188 "We love you, Matlock " 10 00:00:58,289 --> 00:01:00,348 " Oh yes, we do " 11 00:01:05,429 --> 00:01:07,329 What's eatin' you, Abe? 12 00:01:07,431 --> 00:01:09,558 For three weeks, all you been talkin' about was meeting Matlock. 13 00:01:09,667 --> 00:01:12,431 Now you met him, swiped his pills-- 14 00:01:12,536 --> 00:01:16,939 - ''Take one every hour to prevent spastic heart convulsions.'' 15 00:01:17,041 --> 00:01:18,941 - Clear! - But you ain't said a word! 16 00:01:19,043 --> 00:01:22,444 Lookin' at that tired old freak has made me realize... 17 00:01:22,546 --> 00:01:25,481 I'm no spring chicken myself. 18 00:01:25,582 --> 00:01:29,541 I can feel death's clammy hand on my shoulder. 19 00:01:29,653 --> 00:01:31,621 Wait, that's my hand. 20 00:01:31,722 --> 00:01:36,216 Hello. As you may know, I might not be around much longer. 21 00:01:36,327 --> 00:01:39,694 So, I've decided to give you your inheritance before I die. 22 00:01:39,797 --> 00:01:42,357 That way, I can see you enjoy it. 23 00:01:42,466 --> 00:01:47,597 Lisa, I know you like reading, and... so forth. 24 00:01:47,705 --> 00:01:51,732 To you, I give you my lifetime of personal correspondence. 25 00:01:51,842 --> 00:01:57,781 Thanks. ''Mr. Simpson. Stop. Your constant letters are becoming a nuisance. Stop. 26 00:01:57,881 --> 00:02:00,349 ''If you do not cease, I will be forced to pursue legal action. 27 00:02:00,451 --> 00:02:03,352 Stop. Signed, Boris Karloff. Hollywood, California.'' 28 00:02:03,454 --> 00:02:06,014 - And to my son, Homer-- - Whoo-hoo! 29 00:02:06,123 --> 00:02:08,284 - and his entire family-- - D'oh! 30 00:02:08,392 --> 00:02:11,384 I leave these-- a box of mint condition... 31 00:02:11,495 --> 00:02:14,430 1 91 8 Liberty Head silver dollars. 32 00:02:14,531 --> 00:02:19,400 You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around... 33 00:02:19,503 --> 00:02:22,995 in zeppelins, dropping coins on people. 34 00:02:23,107 --> 00:02:28,306 And one day, I seen J.D. Rockefeller flyin' by-- 35 00:02:28,412 --> 00:02:32,143 so I run out of the house with a big washtub, and-- 36 00:02:32,249 --> 00:02:34,683 - Where are you goin'? - Dad, we'd love to stay here... 37 00:02:34,785 --> 00:02:36,685 and listen to your amusing ''antidotes,'' 38 00:02:36,787 --> 00:02:39,722 but we have to take these coins to the mall and spend 'em! 39 00:02:39,823 --> 00:02:42,314 Anyway, about my washtub. 40 00:02:42,426 --> 00:02:46,157 I just used it that morning to wash my turkey... 41 00:02:46,263 --> 00:02:48,288 which in those days was known as... 42 00:02:48,399 --> 00:02:50,731 a ''walking bird. '' 43 00:02:50,834 --> 00:02:55,669 We'd always have walking bird on Thanksgiving, with all the trimmings. 44 00:02:55,773 --> 00:03:01,405 Cranberries, ''injun eyes,'' and yams stuffed with gunpowder. 45 00:03:01,512 --> 00:03:06,711 Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called ''baseball.'' 46 00:03:13,157 --> 00:03:17,560 Look, Maggie! It's Sergeant Thug's Mountaintop Command Post... 47 00:03:17,661 --> 00:03:21,153 complete with Deathbringer missiles that really launch. 48 00:03:21,265 --> 00:03:24,496 Mm. That toy isn't safe for a baby like Maggie. 49 00:03:24,601 --> 00:03:26,535 Aw, come on, Marge. You're way too-- 50 00:03:26,637 --> 00:03:28,537 D'oh! 51 00:03:31,075 --> 00:03:33,873 When I was young, toys were built to last. 52 00:03:33,977 --> 00:03:38,277 Look at this junk! It breaks the first time you take it out of the box. 53 00:03:40,918 --> 00:03:44,854 And look at these toy soldiers! They'll break the second I step on 'em. 54 00:03:44,955 --> 00:03:48,823 Stupid... toy... soldiers! Break, you stupid-- 55 00:03:48,926 --> 00:03:50,860 All right. Come on, pops. 56 00:03:50,961 --> 00:03:53,555 - Soldiers won't bother you anymore. - Oh! 57 00:03:55,232 --> 00:03:57,200 "Hmm? 58 00:03:57,301 --> 00:04:00,202 Hmm! 59 00:04:00,304 --> 00:04:02,966 " One, two, three o'clock four o'clock rock " 60 00:04:03,073 --> 00:04:05,940 " Five, six, seven o'clock Eight o'clock rock " 61 00:04:06,043 --> 00:04:09,342 " Rock, rock, rock, rock, rock Rock, rock, rock " 62 00:04:09,446 --> 00:04:11,880 " Rock, rock, rock We're gonna rock, gonna rock " 63 00:04:11,982 --> 00:04:15,884 "Around this clock tonight " 64 00:04:15,986 --> 00:04:20,218 Thank you. Thank you very much. 65 00:04:27,965 --> 00:04:31,025 I'm warning you, Mom. I may get a little crazy. 66 00:04:31,135 --> 00:04:33,968 I understand, honey. When I was your age, there was a-- 67 00:04:34,071 --> 00:04:37,404 Hey, horse face! Get your ugly pie-hooks off that Summer Fun Set! 68 00:04:39,076 --> 00:04:42,068 Look! Achy Breaky Stacy for $1 .99! 69 00:04:42,179 --> 00:04:44,807 Live from the Improv Stacy's only 89 cents. 70 00:04:45,983 --> 00:04:48,417 Ew! 71 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,020 Hey, mister. What's in the box? 72 00:04:52,122 --> 00:04:55,819 Um, it's the, uh, new Talking Malibu Stacy. 73 00:04:57,261 --> 00:05:01,960 - Get him! - Help! Mr. Weiss! 74 00:05:05,669 --> 00:05:09,161 Mm, I don't know if it's a good idea to do that while you're driving. 75 00:05:09,273 --> 00:05:11,241 Marge, that's what I bought it for. 76 00:05:14,411 --> 00:05:16,675 Hey! Watch it with that thing! 77 00:05:16,780 --> 00:05:19,840 - My skull is eggshell-thin. - Whoa. 78 00:05:19,950 --> 00:05:23,283 - Thanks for buyin' us these toys, Grampa. - Bah! 79 00:05:23,387 --> 00:05:26,447 Why didn't you get something useful, like storm windows? 80 00:05:26,557 --> 00:05:28,491 Or a nice pipe organ? 81 00:05:28,592 --> 00:05:33,052 I'm thirsty. Ooh, what smells like mustard? 82 00:05:33,163 --> 00:05:35,961 There sure are a lot of ugly people in your neighborhood. 83 00:05:36,066 --> 00:05:40,560 Ooh! Look at that one! Oh, my glaucoma just got worse. 84 00:05:40,671 --> 00:05:43,162 The president is a demi-crat.! 85 00:05:43,273 --> 00:05:47,607 Hello? I can't unbuckle my seat belt. 86 00:05:47,711 --> 00:05:51,807 Hello.! 87 00:05:51,915 --> 00:05:55,043 There are too many leaves in your walkway. 88 00:06:02,693 --> 00:06:05,321 Why are you people avoiding me? 89 00:06:05,429 --> 00:06:09,729 Does my withered face remind you of the grim specter of death? 90 00:06:09,833 --> 00:06:14,998 Yes, but there's more. Dad, I love you. 91 00:06:15,105 --> 00:06:19,007 But... you're a weird, sore-headed old crank, and nobody likes you! 92 00:06:19,109 --> 00:06:21,407 Consarn it! 93 00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:24,002 I guess I am an old crank. 94 00:06:24,114 --> 00:06:26,810 But what am I gonna do about it? 95 00:06:34,191 --> 00:06:36,182 One sip and I'm totally hip! 96 00:06:36,293 --> 00:06:40,662 Buzz Cola. There's a little boogie in every bottle. 97 00:06:40,764 --> 00:06:43,096 Holy smokes! That's it! 98 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:46,465 From now on, I'm thinkin', actin' and lookin' young. 99 00:06:46,570 --> 00:06:49,835 And I'm gonna start with a bottle of Buzz Cola. 100 00:06:51,174 --> 00:06:54,610 Oh! Ow! Ow! The bubbles are burning my tongue! 101 00:06:54,711 --> 00:06:57,179 Ow! Ooh. Water! Water! 102 00:06:57,281 --> 00:06:59,408 A hush falls over the general assembly... 103 00:06:59,516 --> 00:07:01,416 as Stacy approaches the podium... 104 00:07:01,518 --> 00:07:05,454 to deliver what will no doubt be a stirring and memorable address. 105 00:07:06,690 --> 00:07:08,658 I wish they taught shopping in school! 106 00:07:08,759 --> 00:07:11,421 Ohh. 107 00:07:11,528 --> 00:07:13,860 Let's bake some cookies for the boys! 108 00:07:13,964 --> 00:07:17,559 Come on, Stacy. I've waited my whole life to hear you speak. 109 00:07:17,668 --> 00:07:19,932 Don't you have anything relevant to say? 110 00:07:20,037 --> 00:07:23,803 Don't ask me. I'm just a girl! 111 00:07:23,907 --> 00:07:26,808 - Right on! Say it, sister. - It's not funny, Bart. 112 00:07:26,910 --> 00:07:30,402 Millions of girls will grow up thinking that this is the right way to act. 113 00:07:30,514 --> 00:07:32,539 That they can never be anything more than vacuous ninnies... 114 00:07:32,649 --> 00:07:35,379 whose only goal is to look pretty, land a rich husband... 115 00:07:35,485 --> 00:07:37,612 and spend all day on the phone with their equally vacuous friends... 116 00:07:37,721 --> 00:07:40,849 talking about how damn terrific it is to look pretty and have a rich husband! 117 00:07:40,957 --> 00:07:44,290 Just what I was gonna say. 118 00:07:44,394 --> 00:07:48,091 Look at me! I'm acting young! 119 00:07:52,536 --> 00:07:54,834 Hey. This ain't so bad. 120 00:07:57,441 --> 00:08:00,308 Let's buy makeup, so the boys will like us! 121 00:08:00,410 --> 00:08:04,904 Don't you people see anything wrong with what Malibu Stacy says? 122 00:08:05,015 --> 00:08:09,213 Oh, there's something wrong with what my Stacy says. 123 00:08:09,319 --> 00:08:13,312 My Spidey sense is tingling. Anybody call for a web-slinger? 124 00:08:13,423 --> 00:08:17,587 No, Celeste. I mean, the things she says are sexist. 125 00:08:17,694 --> 00:08:20,356 Lisa said a dirty word! 126 00:08:23,767 --> 00:08:25,667 They cannot keep making dolls like this. 127 00:08:25,769 --> 00:08:28,738 Something has to be done! 128 00:08:32,843 --> 00:08:37,041 Lisa, ordinarily I'd say you should stand up for what you believe in. 129 00:08:37,147 --> 00:08:39,342 But you've been doing that an awful lot lately. 130 00:08:39,449 --> 00:08:43,112 Yeah. You made us march in that Gay Rights Parade. 131 00:08:43,220 --> 00:08:47,281 And we can't watch Fox, 'cause they own those chemical weapon plants in Syria. 132 00:08:47,391 --> 00:08:49,291 I can't believe you're just gonna stand by... 133 00:08:49,393 --> 00:08:53,523 as your daughters grow up in a world where this-- this is their role model. 134 00:08:53,630 --> 00:08:57,396 I had a Malibu Stacy when I was little, and I turned out all right. 135 00:08:57,501 --> 00:09:02,438 Now let's forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream. 136 00:09:02,539 --> 00:09:07,203 Now let's forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream! 137 00:09:07,310 --> 00:09:10,802 That's it! I'm callin' the company. 138 00:09:13,049 --> 00:09:15,040 Hello, you have reached the Malibu Stacy... 139 00:09:15,152 --> 00:09:17,052 Customer Service Center. 140 00:09:17,154 --> 00:09:21,386 If you have a complaint about Malibu Stacy's appearance or odor, press one. 141 00:09:21,491 --> 00:09:26,224 If you've given Malibu Stacy a haircut and need to order a replacement head, press two. 142 00:09:26,329 --> 00:09:29,389 - For information on our factory tour, press three. - Mom! 143 00:09:29,499 --> 00:09:32,900 We could go on the factory tour, and I could complain in person. 144 00:09:33,003 --> 00:09:37,030 Honey, you're not going to throw red paint at the executives, are you? 145 00:09:37,140 --> 00:09:39,506 The Keebler people were very upset. 146 00:09:44,514 --> 00:09:48,177 Welcome to Enchantment Lane, where all the parts come together... 147 00:09:48,285 --> 00:09:50,185 and Malibu Stacy is born! 148 00:09:50,287 --> 00:09:54,417 Some folks say there's a little touch of fairy dust in the air. 149 00:10:00,497 --> 00:10:04,729 Aw, crap. There's a clog in the torso chute! 150 00:10:04,835 --> 00:10:06,962 Leroy! Get your ass in gear. 151 00:10:07,070 --> 00:10:10,335 Shut your hole. 152 00:10:12,042 --> 00:10:16,308 Malibu Stacy, America's favorite eight-and-a-half-incher. 153 00:10:16,413 --> 00:10:21,146 In 1 959, homemaker Stacy Lavelle had a design and a dream. 154 00:10:21,251 --> 00:10:23,151 The design? Malibu Stacy. 155 00:10:23,253 --> 00:10:27,713 The dream? To mass-market a fashion doll that was also edible. 156 00:10:27,824 --> 00:10:32,158 Kids didn't much like the taste of dried onion meal, but they loved the doll. 157 00:10:32,262 --> 00:10:35,993 A second, plastic Malibu Stacy took America by storm. 158 00:10:36,099 --> 00:10:39,830 Just ask the owner of the world's largest Malibu Stacy collection.: 159 00:10:39,936 --> 00:10:41,836 Waylon Smithers of Springfield. 160 00:10:41,938 --> 00:10:46,170 Hello, Malibu Stacy collectors. I'll see you... 161 00:10:46,276 --> 00:10:50,007 at StacyCon '94, at the San Diego Airport Hilton. 162 00:10:50,113 --> 00:10:53,549 And what does Stacy think ofher 35 years of success... 163 00:10:53,650 --> 00:10:55,709 and millions of friends worldwide? 164 00:10:55,819 --> 00:10:59,482 Don't ask me. I'm just a girl! 165 00:10:59,589 --> 00:11:02,820 She sure is. 166 00:11:02,926 --> 00:11:04,826 Well, that's the tour. 167 00:11:04,928 --> 00:11:07,761 - If you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer-- - I have one. 168 00:11:07,864 --> 00:11:11,994 - Yes? - Is the remarkably sexist drivel spouted by Malibu Stacy... 169 00:11:12,102 --> 00:11:14,764 intentional, or is it just a horrible mistake? 170 00:11:14,871 --> 00:11:19,433 Believe me, we're very mindful of such concerns. 171 00:11:19,543 --> 00:11:24,242 "Hey,Jiggles! Grab a pad and back that gorgeous butt in here. 172 00:11:24,347 --> 00:11:27,145 - Oh, you. Get away! - Ah, don't act like you don't like it. 173 00:11:33,023 --> 00:11:35,821 It's awful bein' a kid. No one listens to ya. 174 00:11:35,926 --> 00:11:39,089 It's rotten bein' old. No one listens to ya! 175 00:11:39,195 --> 00:11:41,755 I'm a white male, aged 1 8 to 49. 176 00:11:41,865 --> 00:11:45,961 Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are. 177 00:11:47,871 --> 00:11:51,363 But I'm not gonna accomplish anything just sitting here-- 178 00:11:51,474 --> 00:11:54,204 - and gripin', it's time for-- - action! 179 00:11:54,311 --> 00:11:56,643 I've got to talk to that woman who invented Malibu Stacy... 180 00:11:56,746 --> 00:11:59,112 - and see if I can get her to-- - come out of retirement! 181 00:11:59,215 --> 00:12:03,015 I'm gonna get me a job! A real Malibu... 182 00:12:03,119 --> 00:12:06,145 and see if Stacy... can help... 183 00:12:06,256 --> 00:12:08,156 invent... me... 184 00:12:08,258 --> 00:12:11,125 young-- Help! 185 00:12:11,227 --> 00:12:16,096 - You're getting a job! - Yes! I'm going where the action is! 186 00:12:16,199 --> 00:12:18,099 Come in? Come in! 187 00:12:18,201 --> 00:12:20,669 Mayday! I'm losing your transmission! 188 00:12:20,770 --> 00:12:23,000 I said, ''French fries!'' 189 00:12:23,106 --> 00:12:25,006 What the-- 190 00:12:25,108 --> 00:12:29,238 Do we sell French... fries? 191 00:12:32,616 --> 00:12:36,245 Yes? I-- Why, it's Homer Simpson's daughter. 192 00:12:36,353 --> 00:12:40,187 I thought you might be able to help me get in touch with the inventor of Malibu Stacy. 193 00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:42,986 Whew! That would be quite a feat. 194 00:12:43,093 --> 00:12:45,220 Stacy Lavelle is a total recluse. 195 00:12:45,328 --> 00:12:47,228 She hasn't appeared in public in 20 years. 196 00:12:47,330 --> 00:12:50,857 Here, I'm writing an article on her for my next Malibu Stacy newsletter. 197 00:12:50,967 --> 00:12:53,697 It contains her last known whereabouts. 198 00:12:53,803 --> 00:12:55,862 - I'll, uh, print you out a copy. - Thanks. 199 00:12:55,972 --> 00:12:58,133 Hello, Smithers. 200 00:12:58,241 --> 00:13:01,608 You're quite good... at turning... me on. 201 00:13:01,711 --> 00:13:04,441 Um, you probably should ignore that. 202 00:13:12,288 --> 00:13:15,985 No, it couldn't be! 203 00:13:25,035 --> 00:13:27,629 Excuse me. Miss Lavelle? 204 00:13:27,737 --> 00:13:29,932 I'd like to talk to you about Malibu Stacy? 205 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:34,807 Do you have any idea how many kids have tried to track me down? 206 00:13:34,911 --> 00:13:37,846 - Am I the first? - Yes. 207 00:13:37,947 --> 00:13:42,646 I want you to hear what Malibu Stacy is telling a generation of little girls. 208 00:13:42,752 --> 00:13:45,016 Thinking too much gives you wrinkles. 209 00:13:50,794 --> 00:13:54,855 All right! I've been waitin' nine years to get my Frisbee back. 210 00:13:59,903 --> 00:14:04,237 My name is Stacy. But you can call me-- 211 00:14:04,340 --> 00:14:07,173 I see exactly what you mean. This is a problem. 212 00:14:07,277 --> 00:14:09,837 - But what do you expect me to do? - Change what she says. 213 00:14:09,946 --> 00:14:14,383 - It's your company. - Not since I was forced out in 1 97 4. 214 00:14:14,484 --> 00:14:17,510 They said my way of thinking just wasn't cost-effective. 215 00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:20,214 - That's awful! - Well, that, and... 216 00:14:20,323 --> 00:14:22,951 I was funneling profits to the Vietcong. 217 00:14:23,059 --> 00:14:27,962 But you are Malibu Stacy. As long as she has your name, you have the responsibility! 218 00:14:28,064 --> 00:14:32,023 I'd be mortified if someone ever made a lousy product with the Simpson name on it. 219 00:14:32,135 --> 00:14:35,969 I may have had things in common with Stacy in the beginning... 220 00:14:36,072 --> 00:14:40,372 but 30 years of living her lifestyle taught me some very harsh lessons. 221 00:14:40,477 --> 00:14:44,004 Five husbands: Ken,Johnny,Joe... 222 00:14:44,114 --> 00:14:46,582 Dr. Colossus, Steve Austin. 223 00:14:46,683 --> 00:14:50,141 But if you can learn from Malibu Stacy's mistakes, so can everyone. 224 00:14:50,253 --> 00:14:52,187 I'm sure we can think of something together. 225 00:14:52,288 --> 00:14:55,655 - Come on! - Not now. I'm... too drunk. 226 00:14:55,759 --> 00:14:57,659 No, you're not! 227 00:15:01,865 --> 00:15:04,732 Uh, I'll come back tomorrow. 228 00:15:04,834 --> 00:15:09,965 We need some more secret sauce! Put this mayonnaise in the sun. 229 00:15:10,073 --> 00:15:15,534 Hey! Now that Old Man Peterson's off our backs, let's have some fun! 230 00:15:15,645 --> 00:15:20,048 Ever see a sandwich that could take a bite outta you? 231 00:15:20,150 --> 00:15:23,051 Look at the sandwich! 232 00:15:23,153 --> 00:15:25,121 It's gonna bite you! 233 00:15:27,490 --> 00:15:29,390 Ow.! 234 00:15:29,492 --> 00:15:31,824 - Damn sandwich took a bite out of me.! - Oh. 235 00:15:33,663 --> 00:15:35,563 I've got the solution. 236 00:15:35,665 --> 00:15:38,395 You and I are gonna make our own talking doll. 237 00:15:38,501 --> 00:15:42,062 She'll have the wisdom of Gertrude Stein and the wit of Cathy Guisewite. 238 00:15:42,172 --> 00:15:46,575 The tenacity of Nina Totenberg and the common sense of Elizabeth Cady Stanton. 239 00:15:46,676 --> 00:15:51,636 And to top it off, the down-to-earth good looks of Eleanor Roosevelt. 240 00:15:51,748 --> 00:15:54,308 All right. 241 00:15:54,417 --> 00:15:56,476 We'll make your doll! 242 00:16:00,323 --> 00:16:02,757 Stacy, please. I must have you back. 243 00:16:02,859 --> 00:16:05,521 Just come for a ride with me in my mobile command unit. 244 00:16:05,628 --> 00:16:08,119 Joe, I told you. It's over. 245 00:16:08,231 --> 00:16:11,257 - Release me from your kung fu grip. - Fine. 246 00:16:11,367 --> 00:16:14,700 I'll bomb your house into the ground, missy! 247 00:16:19,409 --> 00:16:22,071 Make sure you get my mom's hair just right! 248 00:16:22,178 --> 00:16:24,806 Um, I think we'll use someone different for the hair. 249 00:16:24,914 --> 00:16:27,075 - How about me? - There's something not quite-- 250 00:16:27,183 --> 00:16:28,912 How 'bout me? 251 00:16:29,018 --> 00:16:31,282 - How 'bout me? - You all have hideous hair! 252 00:16:31,387 --> 00:16:34,515 I mean, from a design point of view. 253 00:16:34,624 --> 00:16:36,922 - Oh, well, if you put it that way. - Oh, well. 254 00:16:37,026 --> 00:16:39,324 Talking doll, take eight. 255 00:16:39,429 --> 00:16:43,126 ''When I get married, I'm keeping my own name.'' 256 00:16:43,233 --> 00:16:47,795 Uh, you know, that should probably be, ''if I choose to get married.'' 257 00:16:47,904 --> 00:16:51,635 Look, little girl. We got other talking dollies to record today. 258 00:16:51,741 --> 00:16:54,369 All right, you poindexters. Let's get this right. 259 00:16:54,477 --> 00:16:56,377 One: ''Hey, hey, kids, I'm Talkin' Krusty.'' 260 00:16:56,479 --> 00:16:58,379 Two: ''Hey, hey! Here comes Slide Show Mel.'' 261 00:16:58,481 --> 00:17:00,881 Again. ''Here comes Sideshow Mel. Sideshow Mel.'' 262 00:17:00,984 --> 00:17:02,884 Three. 263 00:17:02,986 --> 00:17:06,979 Bada-bing, bada-boom. I'm done. Learn from a professional, kid. 264 00:17:10,059 --> 00:17:13,426 Okay, Krusty. We are ready to roll any-- What the-- 265 00:17:18,568 --> 00:17:21,594 Trust in yourself and you can achieve anything. 266 00:17:21,704 --> 00:17:23,604 All right! Now all we need is a name. 267 00:17:23,706 --> 00:17:25,674 How 'bout ''Blabbermouth, theJerky Doll forJerks''? 268 00:17:25,775 --> 00:17:29,267 How 'bout Minerva, after the Roman goddess of wisdom? 269 00:17:29,379 --> 00:17:31,847 Mm, not enough commercial appeal. 270 00:17:31,948 --> 00:17:34,849 ''Wendy Windbag''? ''Ugly Doris''? 271 00:17:34,951 --> 00:17:38,717 - ''Hortense, the Mule-Faced Doll''? - I think we should name her after Lisa. 272 00:17:38,821 --> 00:17:41,381 We'll call her ''Lisa Lionheart.'' 273 00:17:41,491 --> 00:17:45,518 No, ''Loudmouth Lisa!'' ''Stupid Lisa Garbage Face!'' 274 00:17:45,628 --> 00:17:49,120 I can't stand this any longer. Somebody please pay attention to me! 275 00:17:49,232 --> 00:17:51,132 Hello! Pay attention to me. Look at me! 276 00:17:51,234 --> 00:17:54,294 I'm Bart, I'm Bart. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. 277 00:17:56,072 --> 00:17:59,530 This is great.! They're really gonna sell our doll.! 278 00:17:59,642 --> 00:18:02,805 It wasn't difficult. I just told them who I was and who you were. 279 00:18:02,912 --> 00:18:04,812 - They couldn't resist. - Really? 280 00:18:04,914 --> 00:18:08,281 Well, I didn't tell them who you were. 281 00:18:08,384 --> 00:18:12,878 Gentlemen, we've got to sink this Lisa Lionheart doll and fast. 282 00:18:12,989 --> 00:18:15,287 It's time to call in a favor from Washington. 283 00:18:17,060 --> 00:18:21,360 Yes. Yes, I understand. I'll take care of it personally. 284 00:18:27,704 --> 00:18:30,502 - Dad, did you hear something? - I don't know. 285 00:18:30,606 --> 00:18:32,767 - Dad? - Mm-hmm? 286 00:18:32,875 --> 00:18:36,072 My new doll's much better than Malibu Stacy. Do a newscast about her. 287 00:18:36,179 --> 00:18:40,309 Oh, please, honey. Daddy's job is to bring people important news. 288 00:18:40,416 --> 00:18:43,852 I'm very busy preparing a report about the 40th anniversary of Beetle Bailey. 289 00:18:43,953 --> 00:18:47,116 Oh, Daddy, that is boring. 290 00:18:47,223 --> 00:18:51,683 - Talk about the dolly! - Well, you were right about the Berlin Wall. 291 00:18:55,298 --> 00:18:59,359 Though it was unusual to spend 28 minutes reporting on a doll... 292 00:18:59,469 --> 00:19:02,734 this reporter found it impossible to stop talking. 293 00:19:02,839 --> 00:19:05,603 It's just really fascinating news, folks. 294 00:19:05,708 --> 00:19:07,938 Good night. 295 00:19:08,044 --> 00:19:11,605 Oh, and the president was arrested for murder. More on that tomorrow night. 296 00:19:11,714 --> 00:19:14,342 Or you can turn to another channel. 297 00:19:14,450 --> 00:19:17,476 Oh. Do not turn to another channel. 298 00:19:17,587 --> 00:19:20,818 Our one effort to put a stop to this Lisa Lionheart thing has failed miserably. 299 00:19:20,923 --> 00:19:24,359 Gentlemen, we have to reinvent Malibu Stacy for the '90s. 300 00:19:24,460 --> 00:19:26,553 We'll stay here all night, if need be. 301 00:19:26,662 --> 00:19:30,496 - Can we order Chinese food? - Yes. 302 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:34,058 You know a good place? 303 00:19:36,105 --> 00:19:38,300 I cut my tongue on these pancakes. 304 00:19:38,408 --> 00:19:41,002 These eggs are difficult to digest. 305 00:19:41,110 --> 00:19:43,010 I want soft-boiled eggs. 306 00:19:43,112 --> 00:19:47,173 I told you-- we don't have soft-boiled eggs! 307 00:19:47,283 --> 00:19:51,447 If you a-- By gum, you're right. We should have them. 308 00:19:51,554 --> 00:19:55,854 I shouldn't be listenin' to complaints. I should be makin' 'em with you guys. 309 00:19:55,958 --> 00:19:59,291 The Good Lord lets us grow old for a reason. 310 00:19:59,395 --> 00:20:03,627 To gain the wisdom to find fault with everything he's made! 311 00:20:03,733 --> 00:20:08,193 Mr. Peterson, you can take this job and... fill it. 312 00:20:08,304 --> 00:20:12,536 And one more thing. I never once washed my hands. 313 00:20:12,642 --> 00:20:15,611 That's your policy, not mine. 314 00:20:15,711 --> 00:20:18,680 You whippersnapper! 315 00:20:18,781 --> 00:20:21,443 You show him, Abe.! Quit.! 316 00:20:26,589 --> 00:20:30,047 Oh, my back. 317 00:20:33,129 --> 00:20:35,996 - I want it. I want it. I want it. - Me, me, me! 318 00:20:36,099 --> 00:20:39,967 I want it. I want it. I want it! 319 00:20:41,737 --> 00:20:45,639 - Look! It's Lisa Lionheart! - Keep running. We're almost there. 320 00:20:49,078 --> 00:20:52,946 They changed Malibu Stacy! 321 00:20:53,049 --> 00:20:56,610 - She is better than ever. - Wait! Don't be fooled. 322 00:20:56,719 --> 00:20:59,779 She's just a regular Malibu Stacy with a stupid, cheap hat. 323 00:20:59,889 --> 00:21:02,949 She still embodies all the awful stereotypes she did before. 324 00:21:03,059 --> 00:21:05,653 But she's got a new hat. 325 00:21:05,761 --> 00:21:08,025 I want it. I want it. I want it. 326 00:21:12,535 --> 00:21:17,063 Well, I guess you can't beat big business. 327 00:21:17,173 --> 00:21:19,539 There's just no room for the little guy. 328 00:21:19,642 --> 00:21:22,611 Trust in yourself and you can achieve anything. 329 00:21:25,681 --> 00:21:29,913 You know, if we get through to just that one little girl... 330 00:21:30,019 --> 00:21:32,487 - it'll all be worth it. - Yes. 331 00:21:32,588 --> 00:21:35,955 Particularly if that little girl happens to pay $46,000 for that doll. 332 00:21:36,058 --> 00:21:38,754 - What? - Oh, nothing. Kudos to you, Lisa. 333 00:21:38,861 --> 00:21:40,829 Kudos. 334 00:21:42,265 --> 00:21:44,733 Marge? Lisa? Lady? 335 00:21:44,834 --> 00:21:47,997 If you'll excuse me, I've got something very important to attend to. 336 00:21:48,104 --> 00:21:50,004 Whoo! 337 00:22:45,995 --> 00:22:47,963 Shh!