1 00:00:04,101 --> 00:00:07,400 " The Simpsons " 2 00:00:37,034 --> 00:00:38,968 D'oh! 3 00:00:58,455 --> 00:01:00,821 Ah, the morning horoscope. 4 00:01:00,925 --> 00:01:04,019 ''Today will be a day like every other day.'' D'oh! 5 00:01:04,128 --> 00:01:06,028 It just gets worse and worse. 6 00:01:11,001 --> 00:01:13,936 Bart, I've asked you not to whistle that annoying tune. 7 00:01:14,038 --> 00:01:16,472 - Jawohl, mein Mommandant. - Why are you so happy? 8 00:01:16,573 --> 00:01:19,974 Yeah. You kids gotta go to school. I gotta go to work. 9 00:01:20,077 --> 00:01:21,977 The only one who has it easy is Marge. 10 00:01:24,081 --> 00:01:25,810 We're having a field trip today. 11 00:01:25,916 --> 00:01:28,976 Ah, Lise, won't it be great to cast off the shackles... 12 00:01:29,086 --> 00:01:32,783 of the soul-crushing hellhole that is Springfield Elementary? 13 00:01:32,890 --> 00:01:36,087 Oh! I'm sorry. I forgot. 14 00:01:36,193 --> 00:01:38,286 Your class isn't going. 15 00:01:38,395 --> 00:01:41,956 You're right, Bart. School is for losers. 16 00:01:45,269 --> 00:01:49,000 ''And that's how I cured all disease, ended war... 17 00:01:49,106 --> 00:01:52,837 and reunited the entire cast ofTV's Facts of Life... 18 00:01:52,943 --> 00:01:56,310 including longtime holdout Tootie.'' 19 00:01:56,413 --> 00:02:00,213 Ohh.! Sounds like another Pulitzer for me to polish. 20 00:02:00,317 --> 00:02:02,877 Hush, field trip boy! 21 00:02:02,987 --> 00:02:06,718 Impaled on my Nobel Peace Prize. How ironic. 22 00:02:06,824 --> 00:02:08,792 Yo! Lise! Lise! 23 00:02:08,892 --> 00:02:11,292 - Come back, Lise! Come back! - Why? 24 00:02:11,395 --> 00:02:13,659 I'm so much happier here. 25 00:02:15,099 --> 00:02:17,567 And now, Principal Skinner will tell us... 26 00:02:17,668 --> 00:02:19,727 where we'll be going on this year's field trip. 27 00:02:19,837 --> 00:02:22,499 Thank you, Edna, everyone. 28 00:02:22,606 --> 00:02:27,441 Now, class, I wonder who among you can tell me what this is? 29 00:02:27,544 --> 00:02:30,843 Oh! Not the box factory again, Seymour. 30 00:02:32,583 --> 00:02:36,075 This may well prove fascinating. 31 00:02:36,186 --> 00:02:38,654 I know. I'll just do like Lisa... 32 00:02:38,756 --> 00:02:41,316 and escape into fantasy. 33 00:02:42,526 --> 00:02:45,359 Class, instead of going to the box factory today... 34 00:02:45,462 --> 00:02:48,898 we'll be going to the... box factory. 35 00:02:48,999 --> 00:02:51,092 Damn TV! You've ruined my imagination... 36 00:02:51,201 --> 00:02:53,669 just like you've ruined my ability to-- 37 00:02:53,771 --> 00:02:57,400 to, um-- uh-- 38 00:02:57,508 --> 00:02:59,601 Oh, well. 39 00:03:04,848 --> 00:03:07,874 " Fifty-six boxes of bottles of beer on the wall " 40 00:03:07,985 --> 00:03:10,419 " Fifty-six boxes of bottles of beer " 41 00:03:10,521 --> 00:03:12,682 "You take one down and pass it around " 42 00:03:12,790 --> 00:03:15,850 "Fifty-fve boxes ofbottles ofbeer on the wall " 43 00:03:33,644 --> 00:03:35,612 Ho! 44 00:03:42,553 --> 00:03:46,319 The story ofhow two brothers and fve other men... 45 00:03:46,423 --> 00:03:50,689 parlayed a small business loan into a thriving paper goods concern... 46 00:03:50,794 --> 00:03:53,763 is a long and interesting one. 47 00:03:53,864 --> 00:03:55,764 And here it is. It all began... 48 00:03:55,866 --> 00:03:58,994 with the fling of Form 63 7 / A-- 49 00:03:59,103 --> 00:04:01,697 the application for a small business or farm-- 50 00:04:01,805 --> 00:04:05,206 Many interesting and important things have been put into boxes over the years. 51 00:04:05,309 --> 00:04:09,268 Textiles, other boxes, even children's candy. 52 00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:11,904 Do any of these boxes have candy in 'em? 53 00:04:12,015 --> 00:04:13,949 - No. - Will they ever? 54 00:04:14,051 --> 00:04:16,576 No. We only make boxes to ship nails. 55 00:04:16,687 --> 00:04:20,589 - Any other questions? - When will we be able to see a finished box, sir? 56 00:04:20,691 --> 00:04:23,888 Oh, we don't assemble them here. That's done in Flint, Michigan. 57 00:04:23,994 --> 00:04:27,430 - Any of your workers had their hands cut off by machinery? - No. 58 00:04:27,531 --> 00:04:29,965 And then the hand started crawling around and tried to strangle everybody? 59 00:04:30,067 --> 00:04:32,695 - No, that has never happened. - Any popped eyeballs? 60 00:04:32,803 --> 00:04:35,567 I'm not sure what kind of factory you're thinking of. 61 00:04:35,672 --> 00:04:37,799 We just make boxes here. 62 00:04:37,908 --> 00:04:41,275 This room is the most popular part of our tour. 63 00:04:41,378 --> 00:04:43,608 It's just like the other rooms. 64 00:04:43,714 --> 00:04:47,013 Yes, but with one important difference. 65 00:04:47,117 --> 00:04:51,076 Oh. We took that out. Yes, it is just like the other rooms. 66 00:04:51,188 --> 00:04:53,918 - What's that building over there? - That's just a TVstudio... 67 00:04:54,024 --> 00:04:58,427 where they film Krusty the Clown and other non-box-related programs. 68 00:04:58,529 --> 00:05:02,522 Since it has nothing to do with boxes, I'll just shut these blinds. 69 00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:04,897 Oh, man. 70 00:05:05,002 --> 00:05:06,970 Now, here's my office. 71 00:05:07,070 --> 00:05:10,870 If you'll direct your eyes to the floor, you'll see a yellow line. 72 00:05:10,974 --> 00:05:15,638 Follow it. It will lead you around my desk and back out the door. 73 00:05:15,746 --> 00:05:17,873 Mm-hmm. 74 00:05:17,981 --> 00:05:22,475 Mmm. Mm-hmm. 75 00:05:22,586 --> 00:05:26,078 I gotta get out of here. Aha! 76 00:05:26,190 --> 00:05:28,590 The perfect escape. 77 00:05:29,693 --> 00:05:32,127 Hmm. 78 00:05:37,901 --> 00:05:39,869 Oh! 79 00:05:47,244 --> 00:05:49,235 Ah! Do you work here, little boy? 80 00:05:49,346 --> 00:05:52,680 - Yeah. - Well, then, go right in, sir. 81 00:05:53,083 --> 00:05:55,244 Bart! 82 00:05:56,553 --> 00:05:58,817 I'll handle this. 83 00:05:58,922 --> 00:06:02,414 Simpson, I'm giving you until the count of three to come out. 84 00:06:02,526 --> 00:06:06,485 One! Two! Three! 85 00:06:06,597 --> 00:06:09,157 - I've done all I can do. - We'd better call his parents. 86 00:06:09,266 --> 00:06:11,359 Just a minute! 87 00:06:11,468 --> 00:06:13,459 Don't hang up! 88 00:06:15,639 --> 00:06:18,073 No answer at home. I'll call his father. 89 00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:22,103 Just a minute! Don't hang up! 90 00:06:22,212 --> 00:06:25,079 Y'ello? You'll have to speak up. I'm wearing a towel. 91 00:06:27,851 --> 00:06:29,751 Somebody need a script? 92 00:06:38,595 --> 00:06:42,156 - Action! - Ay, ay, ay.!:No me gusta.! 93 00:06:42,266 --> 00:06:45,064 I'm sorry. I'm really not comfortable with this, Ethan. 94 00:06:45,168 --> 00:06:49,195 - What's the matter, luv? - It's just-- It's-It's the same, old, tired gags, isn't it? 95 00:06:49,306 --> 00:06:51,206 I mean, let's give the audience some credit. 96 00:06:51,308 --> 00:06:54,243 - How about a giant mousetrap? - I love it! 97 00:06:56,780 --> 00:06:58,941 - Action! - Ay, ay, ay.!:No me gusta.! 98 00:06:59,049 --> 00:07:01,313 Ay, es grande.! 99 00:07:01,418 --> 00:07:03,579 What do you mean, you lost him? 100 00:07:03,687 --> 00:07:06,315 He might have fallen into one of these machines! 101 00:07:06,423 --> 00:07:09,153 Oh, my God! That's his lucky red hat! 102 00:07:09,259 --> 00:07:13,320 He's a box! My boy's a box! 103 00:07:13,430 --> 00:07:16,888 Damn you! A box! 104 00:07:20,937 --> 00:07:23,371 - I said I wanted a Danish.! - I'm sorry. 105 00:07:23,473 --> 00:07:26,772 - All the Danishes are gone. - They're not gone. 106 00:07:26,877 --> 00:07:30,574 - You're gone! - Uh-oh. 107 00:07:33,083 --> 00:07:35,483 ''Tragic news tonight. 1 20 dead... 108 00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:39,146 in a tidal wave in Kuala La-la--'' 109 00:07:39,256 --> 00:07:43,784 ''Pur--'' ''Kuala Lum-pur--'' 110 00:07:43,894 --> 00:07:45,794 - France. - Yoink! 111 00:07:45,896 --> 00:07:47,830 Yoink? 112 00:07:51,468 --> 00:07:54,835 Ah, heck. Now, where am I gonna get a Danish? 113 00:07:54,938 --> 00:07:57,065 - Here's a Danish, Krusty. - Gimme, gimme, gimme! 114 00:07:59,543 --> 00:08:02,171 Now, that's Danish. Where'd you get it? 115 00:08:02,279 --> 00:08:04,543 I stole it from Kent Brockman. 116 00:08:04,648 --> 00:08:07,845 Great! Uh, he didn't touch it, did he? 117 00:08:07,951 --> 00:08:09,782 No. 118 00:08:09,886 --> 00:08:11,820 Good job, kid. What's your name? 119 00:08:11,922 --> 00:08:14,390 I'm Bart Simpson. I saved you from jail. 120 00:08:14,491 --> 00:08:16,322 Oh, I-- 121 00:08:16,426 --> 00:08:18,621 I reunited you with your estranged father. 122 00:08:18,729 --> 00:08:20,856 Uh, I don't, uh-- 123 00:08:20,964 --> 00:08:24,024 I saved your career, man! Remember your comeback special? 124 00:08:24,134 --> 00:08:26,728 Yeah, well, what have you done for me lately? 125 00:08:26,837 --> 00:08:30,933 - I got you that Danish. - And I'll never forget it. 126 00:08:34,811 --> 00:08:36,938 Hey, kid. 127 00:08:39,249 --> 00:08:42,150 Wow! A big clown hankie. 128 00:08:42,252 --> 00:08:44,186 It's a towel, you yutz.! 129 00:08:44,287 --> 00:08:47,620 I want you to wash it. You're my new assistant. 130 00:08:47,724 --> 00:08:49,624 Cool! 131 00:08:52,729 --> 00:08:54,959 Yeah, I know I'm on. But I don't care. 132 00:08:55,065 --> 00:08:57,727 I don't read the news until I get my Danish. 133 00:08:57,834 --> 00:09:01,861 Go ahead. Try to find a replacement. Aah! 134 00:09:01,972 --> 00:09:06,375 A powerful tidal wave in Kuala Lumpur has killed 1 20 people. 135 00:09:06,476 --> 00:09:09,604 Ay, chihuahua.! Whoa, whoa, whoa! 136 00:09:13,116 --> 00:09:16,517 Marge, I have some horrible, bone-chilling news! 137 00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:19,350 - What is it? - Hi, Homer. 138 00:09:19,456 --> 00:09:22,084 - Oh, nothing. - Hey. 139 00:09:22,192 --> 00:09:24,160 That's my lucky red hat sittin' on top... 140 00:09:24,261 --> 00:09:26,752 of a double-corrugated, eight-fold, 1 4-gauge box. 141 00:09:26,863 --> 00:09:30,629 Oh, it sounds like you really learned something on your field trip. 142 00:09:30,734 --> 00:09:33,828 Think you'd be interested in a career as a box maker? 143 00:09:33,937 --> 00:09:36,497 Well, that'll always be the dream. 144 00:09:36,606 --> 00:09:39,473 But for now, I got a job in the show business. 145 00:09:39,576 --> 00:09:42,272 From now on, I'll be helping Krusty the Clown after school. 146 00:09:42,379 --> 00:09:45,246 Mmm, I don't know, Bart. You're only 1 0. 147 00:09:45,348 --> 00:09:48,283 I've got a weekend job helping the poor, and I'm only eight. 148 00:09:48,385 --> 00:09:50,615 That's not a job. It's a waste of time. 149 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,154 What can poor people pay you? Nothin'! 150 00:09:53,256 --> 00:09:56,054 What satisfaction do you get from helping them? None! 151 00:09:56,159 --> 00:09:59,128 Who wants to help poor people anyway? Nobody! 152 00:10:00,964 --> 00:10:03,524 So, anyway, can I, Mom? 153 00:10:03,633 --> 00:10:05,533 - Can I take the job? - Well-- 154 00:10:05,635 --> 00:10:08,866 Why not? I remember my first after-school job. 155 00:10:08,972 --> 00:10:11,805 I was in a band. 156 00:10:11,908 --> 00:10:15,139 Hello, everybody. I'm Archie Bell, and I'm also The Drells. 157 00:10:15,245 --> 00:10:19,614 We got a new song called ''Tighten Up,'' and this is the music you tighten up with. 158 00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:26,211 Hey, whatsa matter, you? You crazy kid, you chasing away my business. 159 00:10:26,323 --> 00:10:29,759 - Buzz off, Giuseppe. - Pepe, go for the face! 160 00:10:31,928 --> 00:10:34,692 " Help! Aah! 161 00:10:34,798 --> 00:10:38,290 Yes, Son. You can have an electric guitar... 162 00:10:38,401 --> 00:10:40,699 just like your old man. 163 00:10:40,804 --> 00:10:42,863 Dad, I'm asking if I can get a job. 164 00:10:42,973 --> 00:10:47,774 Gig, Son. When you're a musician, a job is called a gig. 165 00:10:47,878 --> 00:10:52,679 Wow. Being in show business is like a dream. 166 00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:54,682 We're really lucky, aren't we? 167 00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:57,981 - I wish I was dead. - Don't listen to him, kid. 168 00:10:58,088 --> 00:11:00,215 This is a dream factory. 169 00:11:00,323 --> 00:11:03,486 The birthplace of magic and enchantment. 170 00:11:03,593 --> 00:11:06,061 Now I need you to go clean out my toilet. 171 00:11:06,162 --> 00:11:09,529 Right in here, boy. If it-- Ooh! 172 00:11:09,633 --> 00:11:12,431 I don't know what I was thinking last night. 173 00:11:12,536 --> 00:11:14,470 This'll take you a couple hours. 174 00:11:14,571 --> 00:11:17,096 I'm tellin' ya. I do work on the Krusty Show. 175 00:11:17,207 --> 00:11:19,869 - Look at the credits. - Bye-bye, kids! 176 00:11:23,847 --> 00:11:26,008 I'm Kent Brockman. On the 1 1 :00 news tonight... 177 00:11:26,116 --> 00:11:28,607 a certain kind of soft drink has been found to be lethal. 178 00:11:28,718 --> 00:11:32,848 We won't tell you which one until after sports and the weather with Funny Sonny Storm. 179 00:11:32,956 --> 00:11:35,618 There's my name, right there-- Bart Simpson. 180 00:11:35,725 --> 00:11:39,388 Looks more like ''Brad Storch.'' 181 00:11:39,496 --> 00:11:42,988 No, it says, ''Betty.'' ''Betty Symington.'' 182 00:11:44,401 --> 00:11:48,360 - That's for taking credit for other people's work. - Oh! 183 00:11:48,471 --> 00:11:52,601 It's okay, Son. Who cares what a bunch of fourth-graders think? 184 00:11:52,709 --> 00:11:57,669 You're doing what you want to do with your life. Nothin' else matters. 185 00:11:57,781 --> 00:12:00,409 Thanks, Dad. That's great advice. 186 00:12:00,517 --> 00:12:03,213 Yep. Well, that's what got me where I am today. 187 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:06,153 - Oh. - There, there. 188 00:12:11,161 --> 00:12:14,824 - Would you sign my picture, Krusty? - Sure, kid. Get in line. 189 00:12:25,609 --> 00:12:27,338 Okay, kids, open your books to page 60-- 190 00:12:29,713 --> 00:12:33,877 - Yes, Krusty? - Bart, I need to get your fingerprints on a candlestick. 191 00:12:33,984 --> 00:12:36,452 Meet me in the conservatory chop-chop. 192 00:12:36,553 --> 00:12:41,354 - Don't worry. Everything's gonna be all right. - Oh! 193 00:12:41,458 --> 00:12:44,359 I wish I was dead. 194 00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:53,601 Aah! There's cheese in this sandwich! 195 00:12:53,703 --> 00:12:55,637 Surely you know I'm lactose intolerant! 196 00:12:55,739 --> 00:12:58,333 - Sorry. - Sorry? 197 00:12:58,441 --> 00:13:01,342 Do you know how sick this is going to make me? 198 00:13:01,444 --> 00:13:04,880 Oh, boy. Come stand next to the bathroom door. 199 00:13:04,981 --> 00:13:07,381 I want to yell at you some more. 200 00:13:07,484 --> 00:13:10,214 Why,you little rapscallion-- 201 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,949 Oh, show business sucks. I'm outta here. 202 00:13:14,057 --> 00:13:18,289 The most hideous child I have ever witnessed.! 203 00:13:21,965 --> 00:13:24,126 Bart! I need to use you in a sketch. 204 00:13:24,234 --> 00:13:26,759 - You want me to be on the show? - It's just one line. 205 00:13:26,870 --> 00:13:29,236 - Mel's supposed to say it, but he's dead. - Dead? 206 00:13:29,339 --> 00:13:31,204 Or sick. I don't know. I forget. 207 00:13:31,307 --> 00:13:35,073 Anyway, all you gotta do is say, ''I am waiting for a bus.'' 208 00:13:35,178 --> 00:13:37,942 Then I hit you with pies for five minutes. Got that? 209 00:13:38,048 --> 00:13:41,142 - ''I am waiting for a bus.'' - Makes me laugh. Let's go. 210 00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:52,119 I am waiting for a-- Whoa! 211 00:13:52,228 --> 00:13:54,628 - Ooh! - Aah! 212 00:13:58,401 --> 00:14:02,861 I didn't do it. 213 00:14:08,912 --> 00:14:12,245 Oh, man. It's a miracle we got through that one. 214 00:14:12,348 --> 00:14:15,010 Remind me never to let you on stage again, kid. 215 00:14:15,118 --> 00:14:17,518 Some people got it, some people don't. 216 00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:20,418 And you, my young friend, do not have-- 217 00:14:20,523 --> 00:14:22,889 Hold on. I wanna finish this thought outside. 218 00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:25,256 It's that kid! 219 00:14:25,361 --> 00:14:28,159 It's the ''I didn't do it'' guy! 220 00:14:28,264 --> 00:14:31,665 He's mine! I own him and all the subsidiary rights! 221 00:14:36,973 --> 00:14:39,908 Why, this rickety ladder in front of this door... 222 00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:44,708 is the perfect place for this priceless Ming vase. 223 00:14:46,049 --> 00:14:47,949 Eh? Eh? 224 00:14:48,051 --> 00:14:49,712 I didn't do it. 225 00:14:54,090 --> 00:14:56,888 Thank you. Thank you. 226 00:14:56,993 --> 00:14:59,723 And now, the ''I didn't do it'' dancers! 227 00:15:04,734 --> 00:15:08,932 Don't move, dude. This is totally a gun. 228 00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:11,666 I didn't do it. 229 00:15:11,775 --> 00:15:16,178 And then the boy says the thing-- 230 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:19,077 Honey! 231 00:15:19,182 --> 00:15:22,549 Joe, how could you? 232 00:15:22,652 --> 00:15:24,620 I, uh, didn't do it. 233 00:15:30,393 --> 00:15:32,987 Help! Help! 234 00:15:33,096 --> 00:15:35,291 This is the third time that this building has burned down... 235 00:15:35,398 --> 00:15:37,298 because someone has been smokin' in bed. 236 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,300 I didn't do it. 237 00:15:42,005 --> 00:15:44,633 Help me! 238 00:15:44,741 --> 00:15:47,539 This biography of Bart came out awfully quickly. 239 00:15:47,644 --> 00:15:50,704 - It's not even about him. - Sure it is. Look at the cover. 240 00:15:50,814 --> 00:15:52,873 But inside, it's mostly about Ross Perot... 241 00:15:52,982 --> 00:15:56,042 and the last two chapters are excerpts from the Oliver North trial. 242 00:15:56,152 --> 00:16:00,282 Ah, Oliver North. He was just poured into that uniform. 243 00:16:05,829 --> 00:16:07,797 I didn't do it. 244 00:16:09,666 --> 00:16:12,066 I didn't do it. 245 00:16:14,170 --> 00:16:15,569 Hey, proper. 246 00:16:26,583 --> 00:16:29,108 I have to pay to see my own grandson! 247 00:16:29,219 --> 00:16:31,312 That's the democrats for ya! 248 00:16:31,421 --> 00:16:36,688 See the boy-- five dollars. Or call him 2 4 hours a day on BartChat. 249 00:16:38,461 --> 00:16:40,361 BartChat. 250 00:16:40,463 --> 00:16:42,863 - Are you Bart? - Sure, I am. 251 00:16:42,966 --> 00:16:47,426 - I didn't do nothin'. - Uh, isn't it, ''I didn't do it''? 252 00:16:47,537 --> 00:16:49,801 Yeah, whatever. 253 00:16:55,211 --> 00:16:59,614 Um, I never thought I'd say this, but shouldn't we be learning something? 254 00:16:59,716 --> 00:17:01,911 Say the line, Bart. 255 00:17:02,018 --> 00:17:04,646 I didn't do it. 256 00:17:04,754 --> 00:17:07,552 Yea! 257 00:17:07,657 --> 00:17:09,955 Come on, Lisa. Say somethin' funny. 258 00:17:10,059 --> 00:17:13,358 - Like what? - Oh, somethin' stupid like Bart would say. 259 00:17:13,463 --> 00:17:15,863 Bucka bucka, or woozle wozzle. Somethin' like that. 260 00:17:15,965 --> 00:17:17,899 Forget it, Dad. If I ever become famous... 261 00:17:18,001 --> 00:17:21,664 I want it to be for something worthwhile, not because of some obnoxious fad. 262 00:17:21,771 --> 00:17:25,502 - Obnoxious fad? - Ah, don't worry, Son. 263 00:17:25,608 --> 00:17:28,372 You know, they said the same thing about Urkel. 264 00:17:28,478 --> 00:17:31,208 That little snot boy. I'd like to smack that kid! 265 00:17:35,151 --> 00:17:37,051 What the hell are you reading books for? 266 00:17:37,153 --> 00:17:38,745 I'm doing the Conan O'Brien show... 267 00:17:38,855 --> 00:17:40,948 and I wanna have some intelligent stuff to talk about. 268 00:17:41,057 --> 00:17:42,456 Don't forget to say, ''I didn't do it.'' 269 00:17:42,558 --> 00:17:45,789 Dad, there's more to me than just a catchphrase. 270 00:17:45,895 --> 00:17:49,797 - How do you figure, boy? - Watch the Conan O'Brien show. You'll see. 271 00:17:49,899 --> 00:17:52,197 All right. But after Leno, I'm all laughed out, you know. 272 00:17:54,270 --> 00:17:56,898 You know, Conan, I have a lot to say. 273 00:17:57,006 --> 00:17:59,702 I'm not just a one-line wonder. Did you know... 274 00:17:59,809 --> 00:18:03,836 that a section of rain forest the size of Kansas is burned every single-- 275 00:18:03,947 --> 00:18:06,916 -Just do the line. - I didn't do it. 276 00:18:08,952 --> 00:18:11,182 Great material. 277 00:18:11,287 --> 00:18:13,949 We'll be right back. 278 00:18:16,459 --> 00:18:20,862 Sit perfectly still. Only I may dance. 279 00:18:20,964 --> 00:18:24,593 ''Just do the line.'' ''Just do the line.'' 280 00:18:24,701 --> 00:18:27,727 What's gonna happen to me? 281 00:18:27,837 --> 00:18:31,898 And now, it's time for Match Game 2034... 282 00:18:32,008 --> 00:18:33,908 with Billy Crystal... 283 00:18:34,010 --> 00:18:37,241 - Hey! - Farrah Fawcett-Majors- O'Neal-Varney... 284 00:18:37,347 --> 00:18:39,975 the ''I didn't do it''boy... 285 00:18:40,083 --> 00:18:43,746 ventriloquist Loni Anderson... 286 00:18:43,853 --> 00:18:46,845 - Ooh! - Spike Lee... 287 00:18:46,956 --> 00:18:51,325 and the always lovely and vivacious head of Kitty Carlisle. 288 00:18:51,427 --> 00:18:55,420 Hi, everybody! Let's start the game! 289 00:18:55,531 --> 00:18:57,999 Aah! 290 00:19:00,870 --> 00:19:04,237 Bart, it's time to get ready for the show. 291 00:19:04,340 --> 00:19:06,205 No! 292 00:19:06,309 --> 00:19:08,209 Where's that little punk? 293 00:19:08,311 --> 00:19:11,542 We go on in 1 0 minutes. Oh, the tension. 294 00:19:11,647 --> 00:19:13,672 Somebody, walk on my back. 295 00:19:13,783 --> 00:19:15,944 Huh? 296 00:19:16,052 --> 00:19:17,952 Ow! Oh-- Ow! 297 00:19:18,054 --> 00:19:20,648 One at a time! No Teamsters! 298 00:19:20,757 --> 00:19:23,954 Honey, I know you feel a little silly... 299 00:19:24,060 --> 00:19:26,893 saying the same four words over and over, but you shouldn't. 300 00:19:26,996 --> 00:19:30,898 You're making people happy, and that's a very hard thing to do. 301 00:19:32,402 --> 00:19:35,633 You're right, Mom. I shouldn't let this bother me. 302 00:19:35,738 --> 00:19:39,572 I'm in television now. It's my job to be repetitive. 303 00:19:39,675 --> 00:19:42,439 My job. My job. 304 00:19:42,545 --> 00:19:44,672 Repetitiveness is my job. 305 00:19:44,781 --> 00:19:49,241 I am gonna go out there tonight and give the best performance of my life. 306 00:19:49,352 --> 00:19:50,842 The best performance of your life? 307 00:19:50,953 --> 00:19:52,921 The best performance of my life. 308 00:19:53,022 --> 00:19:55,513 Where is that lousy little pisher? 309 00:19:55,625 --> 00:19:58,219 Bart! 310 00:19:58,327 --> 00:20:01,626 "And now, boys and girls... 311 00:20:01,731 --> 00:20:05,690 here he is, the boy that says the words you've been longing to hear... 312 00:20:05,802 --> 00:20:11,468 like the salivating dogs that you are, Bart Simpson! 313 00:20:11,574 --> 00:20:13,474 I didn't do it. 314 00:20:17,747 --> 00:20:21,080 I didn't do it. 315 00:20:27,056 --> 00:20:28,648 Woozle wozzle? 316 00:20:28,758 --> 00:20:31,226 What the-- 317 00:20:31,327 --> 00:20:33,887 That's what passes for entertainment these days? Woozle wozzle? 318 00:20:33,996 --> 00:20:36,556 Ladies and gentlemen, the Clown Show... 319 00:20:36,666 --> 00:20:40,193 has been put on hiatus for retooling. 320 00:20:40,303 --> 00:20:43,568 - What happened? - Oh, don't worry about that. 321 00:20:43,673 --> 00:20:45,573 You're just finished, that's all. 322 00:20:45,675 --> 00:20:47,575 - Finished? - It happens all the time. 323 00:20:47,677 --> 00:20:49,577 That's show business for you. 324 00:20:49,679 --> 00:20:51,977 One day, you're the most important guy who ever lived. 325 00:20:52,081 --> 00:20:57,144 - The next day, you're some schmo working in a box factory. - I heard that! 326 00:20:57,253 --> 00:21:02,714 Boy, show business is kind of cruel, isn't it? 327 00:21:08,798 --> 00:21:10,766 And that was ''Kung Fu Fighting. '' 328 00:21:10,867 --> 00:21:14,496 Say, speaking of one-trick ponies, whatever happened to that ''I didn't do it'' kid? 329 00:21:14,604 --> 00:21:16,629 Boy, did that get old fast. Whoa! 330 00:21:16,739 --> 00:21:19,299 You know, if you wanna last in this business, you gotta stay fresh. 331 00:21:23,246 --> 00:21:25,976 I saved these for you, Bart. 332 00:21:26,082 --> 00:21:28,312 You'll always have them to remind you of the time... 333 00:21:28,417 --> 00:21:31,215 when you were the whole world's special little guy. 334 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:34,483 - Thanks, Mom. - And now you can go back to just being you... 335 00:21:34,590 --> 00:21:37,616 instead of a one-dimensional character with a silly catchphrase. 336 00:21:37,727 --> 00:21:40,195 - D'oh! - Ay, caramba.! 337 00:21:42,031 --> 00:21:43,931 Hidilly-ho! 338 00:21:44,033 --> 00:21:46,194 - Ha-ha! - Excellent. 339 00:21:51,574 --> 00:21:54,441 If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room. 340 00:21:56,879 --> 00:21:59,780 What kind of catchphrase is that? 341 00:22:47,196 --> 00:22:49,164 Shh!