1 00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:05,004 Ha! 2 00:00:05,155 --> 00:00:06,255 -(panicked gobbling) -(sighs) 3 00:00:08,584 --> 00:00:09,416 D'oh! 4 00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:10,825 (tires screech) 5 00:00:10,886 --> 00:00:12,094 (grunts) 6 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,422 You said you'd be home at 7:00. 7 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:18,425 Go sleep on the bed. (blows sharply) 8 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,103 ♪ ♪ 9 00:00:25,084 --> 00:00:27,192 Oh, dear. (sighs) 10 00:00:27,385 --> 00:00:29,844 Oh, who am I kidding? 11 00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:32,756 I will never have enough money to go to San Diego. 12 00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:34,591 Oh, maybe next year. 13 00:00:34,651 --> 00:00:37,052 But how many "next years" do I have left? 14 00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:38,520 Leave me. 15 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:41,064 I have no patience for buyers, sellers, 16 00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:43,116 or parking meter quarter needers. 17 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:46,045 I didn't drag this wagon full of garbage 18 00:00:46,196 --> 00:00:47,938 to be yelled at by a talking circle! 19 00:00:47,998 --> 00:00:49,940 Ouch. Yes. Well, touché. 20 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,533 Listen up, super size. 21 00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:53,260 I want to get rid of Seymour's toys 22 00:00:53,370 --> 00:00:54,702 before he turns 60. 23 00:00:54,764 --> 00:00:58,390 Oh, let's see, nothing of value, nothing of val-- 24 00:00:58,559 --> 00:00:59,950 Wait a minute. 25 00:01:00,010 --> 00:01:02,227 Oh, my God, this is why I nerd. 26 00:01:02,379 --> 00:01:04,788 Yes! An original Radioactive Man doll. 27 00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:06,398 Hmm, mint in box, too. 28 00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:09,717 Yes, I may have occasionally seen one of these. 29 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:11,386 In my dreams! 30 00:01:11,447 --> 00:01:14,531 Yes, um, excuse me just for-for one moment. 31 00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:19,319 (muffled): I might make money! 32 00:01:19,455 --> 00:01:22,289 HULK HAND VOICE: Hulk smash! Hulk smash! 33 00:01:23,626 --> 00:01:26,585 Three, two, sold! 34 00:01:26,736 --> 00:01:30,147 At last, I can afford a trip to Comicalooza. 35 00:01:30,249 --> 00:01:33,425 Oh, but not enough money for my wife. 36 00:01:34,119 --> 00:01:35,502 Mm. 37 00:01:35,654 --> 00:01:37,487 Oh, what luck. And the first chance to wear 38 00:01:37,548 --> 00:01:41,100 my Doctor Octopus costume since my uncle's funeral. 39 00:01:41,293 --> 00:01:44,161 It is happening! 40 00:01:44,221 --> 00:01:46,438 ♪ ♪ 41 00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:58,817 Mm. 42 00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:00,602 Do you still have it? Do you? 43 00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:02,179 I-I'm afraid not. 44 00:02:02,239 --> 00:02:04,105 It's on its way to a lucky collector 45 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,183 who will enjoy not opening it. 46 00:02:06,243 --> 00:02:08,518 -So sorry. -Damn you, Mother. 47 00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:10,020 I haven't been this angry with you 48 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,779 since you enlisted me in the Marines. 49 00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:15,692 Your draft number was too high. The suspense was killing me. 50 00:02:15,711 --> 00:02:17,118 ♪ ♪ 51 00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,721 (humming) 52 00:02:21,833 --> 00:02:23,016 (gasps) 53 00:02:25,003 --> 00:02:27,396 Who's the new guy? 54 00:02:30,267 --> 00:02:32,317 A saxophone. (gasps) 55 00:02:32,469 --> 00:02:34,653 I wouldn't kick him out of the library 56 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,488 for ignoring my shush. 57 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,448 Could he be any cooler? 58 00:02:40,644 --> 00:02:42,886 Oh, I'm gushing in the key of 59 00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:44,538 (squeals): E...! 60 00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:48,074 Okay, don't gaze at his eyes. 61 00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,243 Don't stare at his smile. 62 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,153 Don't talk out loud. 63 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:54,247 -You know, I can hear you. -(screams) 64 00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:56,066 Settle, children, settle. 65 00:02:56,168 --> 00:02:57,751 First, we have a new band member. 66 00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,661 Blake, raise your hand. 67 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,348 Second, we're having a chair challenge tomorrow. 68 00:03:03,541 --> 00:03:06,076 Lisa Simpson will be playing to retain her seat. 69 00:03:06,136 --> 00:03:08,169 Your challenger is Blake. 70 00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:10,522 Full disclosure, I'm pretty good. 71 00:03:10,715 --> 00:03:12,507 Well, I'm happy, 'cause whether I beat you or not, 72 00:03:12,643 --> 00:03:15,419 -I'll get to sit next to you. -(nervous laugh) 73 00:03:15,479 --> 00:03:18,422 Stop with the blue eyes, will you? 74 00:03:18,482 --> 00:03:20,924 Less meet-cute, more toot-toot. 75 00:03:20,984 --> 00:03:23,285 (band playing discordantly) 76 00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,279 Great. Now, keep playing. 77 00:03:26,432 --> 00:03:28,665 I have a very important meeting in the instrument closet. 78 00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:33,770 CBD gummies, take me away. 79 00:03:33,830 --> 00:03:36,506 Mmm, mmm, mmm. 80 00:03:38,669 --> 00:03:39,867 (entry bells jingle) 81 00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:44,372 (imitating Marlon Brando): "You come to me on the hay of my daughter's bedding 82 00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:47,784 and make me an ostrich I can't refuse." 83 00:03:47,886 --> 00:03:49,061 Uh, who are you? 84 00:03:49,254 --> 00:03:50,229 (normal voice): I'm Phil, 85 00:03:50,380 --> 00:03:51,788 filling in for Comic Book Guy. 86 00:03:51,807 --> 00:03:53,139 (imitating Comic Book Guy): Also known as 87 00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:55,717 the Snark Knight and Mean Lantern. 88 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,552 Stop being weird. 89 00:03:57,688 --> 00:03:59,646 (normal voice): I'm not being weird. I'm a voice-over artist. 90 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,648 I do voices for your favorite cartoons. 91 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,650 (imitating Itchy): Like Itchy the mouse. 92 00:04:03,802 --> 00:04:05,077 (high-pitched laugh) 93 00:04:05,270 --> 00:04:08,321 I never dreamed real people did those voices. 94 00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:10,807 I'm a little embarrassed to say this, 95 00:04:10,867 --> 00:04:13,310 but I do voices, too. 96 00:04:13,370 --> 00:04:15,921 -(normal voice): Oh? Like who? -Like this kid Nelson. 97 00:04:16,114 --> 00:04:17,923 You don't know him, but he's all... 98 00:04:18,116 --> 00:04:19,149 (imitating Nelson): "Haw-haw," 99 00:04:19,209 --> 00:04:21,093 and, "Smell you later." 100 00:04:21,286 --> 00:04:23,487 -(grunts) -Haw-haw! 101 00:04:23,588 --> 00:04:25,246 Smell you later. 102 00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:27,157 Hey, you're pretty good. 103 00:04:27,175 --> 00:04:28,750 And I do an awesome Todd Flanders, 104 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,585 but it's not worth meeting Todd Flanders. 105 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,754 -Do some more. -Well, how about... 106 00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:35,499 (imitating Christopher Lloyd): that guy from Back to the Future. 107 00:04:35,517 --> 00:04:38,610 Kid, we've got to help your parents have sex. 108 00:04:38,803 --> 00:04:40,353 -Do another. -(imitating Michael Caine): All right, 109 00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:43,765 I'll do Michael bloody Caine, if you don't mind. 110 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,951 If you want to live in my cider house, 111 00:04:46,144 --> 00:04:48,287 there are some rules! 112 00:04:48,438 --> 00:04:52,774 Wow, if I knew who that was, I would be even more impressed. 113 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:55,127 (saxophone playing jazz music) 114 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:58,188 Do you ever worry that Lisa tries too hard 115 00:04:58,248 --> 00:05:00,281 and Bart doesn't try enough? 116 00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:02,025 Marge, you know our deal. 117 00:05:02,085 --> 00:05:04,619 We don't mention the kids after 7:00. 118 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:05,971 Where is Bart, anyway? 119 00:05:06,164 --> 00:05:07,881 He should have been home by now. 120 00:05:08,033 --> 00:05:09,549 Can you call him? I've got to get started 121 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,292 on second dinner. 122 00:05:11,386 --> 00:05:13,219 Boy, where are you? 123 00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:14,479 I'm hanging with a stranger. 124 00:05:14,672 --> 00:05:17,298 He's got so many different personalities. 125 00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,225 Oh, will you be home before dark, yes or no? 126 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,044 What am I, a Magic 8-Ball? 127 00:05:21,063 --> 00:05:22,470 Sounds great. 128 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:25,324 Looks like all of us are living the dream. 129 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,568 (Debussy's "Clair de Lune" playing) 130 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:31,496 ♪ ♪ 131 00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:52,742 CAPTAIN (over P.A.): Folks, we'll be landing in San Diego soon. 132 00:05:52,761 --> 00:05:55,078 On the right side you can see the Pacific Ocean, 133 00:05:55,138 --> 00:05:58,357 and on the left, oh, I think there's Superman flying 134 00:05:58,550 --> 00:05:59,916 -right behind us. -Oh. 135 00:05:59,976 --> 00:06:03,937 Oh, don't patronize us, please. 136 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:07,866 Hmm. Mm-hmm. 137 00:06:08,059 --> 00:06:11,595 -Working on questions to ask at the panels? -Yes. 138 00:06:11,655 --> 00:06:15,281 Well, I've been going since '75. Seen it all. 139 00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:19,211 Adam West in shorts, a line to meet Brendan Fraser. 140 00:06:19,404 --> 00:06:22,105 But you know the most amazing thing I ever saw? 141 00:06:22,124 --> 00:06:26,276 -What? -Once, a guy asked a question so good, 142 00:06:26,336 --> 00:06:29,170 he got a job with Marvel on the spot. 143 00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:31,372 Ooh, me write for Marvel? 144 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:33,225 Be a part of the committee that would decide 145 00:06:33,418 --> 00:06:35,285 the fate of the Avengers? 146 00:06:35,345 --> 00:06:37,454 Then people like me could make fun of me. 147 00:06:37,556 --> 00:06:39,714 But those ain't gonna cut it, fanboy. 148 00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:43,627 Then I will write the best question ever. 149 00:06:43,687 --> 00:06:45,386 Was he real or... 150 00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,221 Of course I'm real, and a real person 151 00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:50,133 should never be booked between you and this guy. 152 00:06:50,152 --> 00:06:51,726 I am Groot. 153 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:53,227 Kosher meal for Steve Fishbein. 154 00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:54,663 I am Steve Fishbein. 155 00:06:59,202 --> 00:07:01,420 Comicalooza, even more glorious than I dreamed. 156 00:07:01,613 --> 00:07:03,255 (clank) 157 00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:08,668 I should not have done that. Very stupid. 158 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:12,431 Every man a Batman, every woman a Harley Quinn. 159 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:19,679 The chance to rub elbows with the who's who of Dr. Who. 160 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:23,257 And to ride an escalator next to Ant-Man Paul Rudd! 161 00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:25,351 You are Ant-Man Paul Rudd. 162 00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:29,764 Oh, God, I hate my approachable everyman looks. 163 00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:32,266 Yes, a question, please, from someone who is 164 00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:33,677 still willing to become a fan. 165 00:07:33,737 --> 00:07:35,620 If you had access to an Avengers-style 166 00:07:35,813 --> 00:07:38,348 quantum time loop, would you go back in time 167 00:07:38,366 --> 00:07:40,959 and not be in Dinner for Schmucks ? 168 00:07:41,152 --> 00:07:42,852 Activate VIP pass. 169 00:07:42,871 --> 00:07:44,612 (dance music playing) 170 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,190 (gasps): For two seconds I saw inside the VIP room. 171 00:07:47,209 --> 00:07:49,025 I saw Jon Favreau sniffing hummus 172 00:07:49,044 --> 00:07:50,469 to see if it was still good. 173 00:07:50,620 --> 00:07:54,055 (inhales sharply) Time for a celebratory pretzel. 174 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:56,582 Rib-it, rib-it. 175 00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,793 Who are you? 176 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,479 Boba Fett on a job interview. 177 00:08:00,672 --> 00:08:03,873 Well, begone. I'm writing the perfect panel question. 178 00:08:03,934 --> 00:08:05,875 Get out of here. 179 00:08:05,936 --> 00:08:07,652 (marker squeaking) 180 00:08:07,804 --> 00:08:09,395 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I have it. 181 00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:11,823 "Are superheroes America's new religion? 182 00:08:11,975 --> 00:08:15,218 And if so, shouldn't comic book profits be tax-free?" 183 00:08:15,237 --> 00:08:17,887 (triumphant fanfare) 184 00:08:17,989 --> 00:08:19,313 I will work for Marvel, 185 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:22,167 and they will finally be successful. 186 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,151 Hey, good question. 187 00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:25,670 Thank you, Professor X. 188 00:08:25,863 --> 00:08:27,413 I'm not Professor X. 189 00:08:27,566 --> 00:08:29,991 I am just a bald man in a wheelchair 190 00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:32,994 searching for his child. 191 00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:35,380 -Hey, Lisa. -Oh, hey, Blake. 192 00:08:35,574 --> 00:08:38,165 This is where I eat when I want to be alone. 193 00:08:38,227 --> 00:08:39,851 Uh, I don't want to be alone, though. 194 00:08:40,003 --> 00:08:43,555 Um, want to share wasabi peas? They're really dry. 195 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:44,689 Are you a veggie? 196 00:08:44,882 --> 00:08:46,358 -Yes, I am. -Me, too. 197 00:08:46,551 --> 00:08:50,420 This is a BLT: bread, lettuce and tomato. 198 00:08:50,522 --> 00:08:52,939 Hey, quit talking to my girlfriend. 199 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,258 I am not your girlfriend. 200 00:08:55,318 --> 00:08:57,018 Right, right. We're focused on 201 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,353 career days and homework right now. 202 00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:02,432 -But love has a way of... -Get away from me. 203 00:09:02,492 --> 00:09:06,269 Oh, my God, Lisa, we've become my parents. 204 00:09:06,329 --> 00:09:09,047 Well, I just wanted to wish you good luck and, uh... 205 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,383 (blows sharply) 206 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:16,096 (smooth jazz playing) 207 00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:30,068 (buzzing like insects) 208 00:09:31,262 --> 00:09:33,054 -(loud zap) -(notes cry out) 209 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:36,816 Ah, my favorite sound: silence. 210 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:39,286 (chuckling): See ya. 211 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,431 Okay, a little bigger than I thought. 212 00:09:59,624 --> 00:10:02,492 Oh, boy, it's like Burning Man for nerds, although 213 00:10:02,510 --> 00:10:05,252 to be fair, Burning Man is also Burning Man for nerds. 214 00:10:05,314 --> 00:10:07,254 Man, there's a lot of nerds. 215 00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,090 Hello, Hall H. 216 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:12,444 Let's let out a roar they can hear in Asgard. 217 00:10:12,637 --> 00:10:15,004 Question, isn't sound to Asgard blocked 218 00:10:15,023 --> 00:10:16,506 by the vacuum of space? 219 00:10:16,566 --> 00:10:19,676 Actually, sound is transmitted by Yggdrasil, 220 00:10:19,736 --> 00:10:22,178 the tree that connects the nine worlds of the cosmos. 221 00:10:22,197 --> 00:10:23,288 But transmission doesn't come into it. 222 00:10:23,439 --> 00:10:24,939 This has never not been true. 223 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,609 -(overlapping arguing) -Have you ever read Thor? 224 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:31,187 Wha-What? Whoa. 225 00:10:31,206 --> 00:10:34,023 We have some of the greatest creators in the industry here. 226 00:10:34,084 --> 00:10:37,118 Daniel Kim, Zoe Burwell, 227 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:38,970 and David Z. Cohen! 228 00:10:39,163 --> 00:10:42,123 (cheering) 229 00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:43,700 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! 230 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,219 I've been blocked on Twitter by all of them. 231 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:50,690 And now it's time for... audience questions. 232 00:10:51,843 --> 00:10:53,193 (microphone feedback) 233 00:10:54,104 --> 00:10:55,636 Yes. Third position. 234 00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:57,656 Time to prepare. And just two steps to the mic. 235 00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,306 It's perfect. 236 00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:02,068 Um, I-I'd like to ask, how would someone like me 237 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:05,146 get someone like you to-to look at my work? 238 00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:06,331 I'll look at your work. 239 00:11:06,524 --> 00:11:09,150 Uh, actually, uh, I-I don't... 240 00:11:09,211 --> 00:11:11,986 I don't have any work, per se. 241 00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:13,988 Next. 242 00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:15,899 Closer to me. Closer to me. 243 00:11:15,959 --> 00:11:18,751 (panting, grunting) 244 00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:20,753 Isn't it true that Superman represented 245 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:23,907 the subconscious desire of creators Jerry Siegel 246 00:11:23,925 --> 00:11:28,169 and Joe Shuster to defeat the Nazi menace in 1938? 247 00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:30,021 Wow. Wow. 248 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,931 I have never heard a question that good. 249 00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:34,192 (cheering, applause) 250 00:11:34,385 --> 00:11:36,085 Oh, yes, yes, good question. 251 00:11:36,104 --> 00:11:38,697 And I believe the answer is "a-doy." 252 00:11:38,890 --> 00:11:42,516 And now for the query that will blow them away. 253 00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:44,761 Uh, uh, where's my question? 254 00:11:44,779 --> 00:11:46,520 Ha, did I use it as a napkin? 255 00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:49,190 No, I never use a napkin. Ugh, where is it? 256 00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:51,768 -Next! -Um, uh... 257 00:11:51,828 --> 00:11:53,937 Yes, my question is, um, uh... 258 00:11:53,997 --> 00:11:56,697 Okay, I forgot my question. 259 00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:59,217 Worst question ever. 260 00:11:59,410 --> 00:12:01,869 -No! -(laughter) 261 00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:03,963 Welcome to Marvel. 262 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,132 (crying): No. 263 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,952 We could offer you a job at DC. 264 00:12:08,970 --> 00:12:10,711 Yes, hard pass. 265 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:13,639 Ugh. Just when I thought this day could not get any worse. 266 00:12:13,792 --> 00:12:15,382 (laughs) 267 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:19,462 Okay, the day you've been waiting for: chair challenges. 268 00:12:19,522 --> 00:12:22,532 We begin with Ralph challenging for first triangle. 269 00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:26,077 (grunts) I'm halfway through. 270 00:12:26,270 --> 00:12:29,897 Once again, first triangle will be an empty chair. 271 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,808 The better chair won. 272 00:12:31,868 --> 00:12:34,902 Now, for first saxophone, Lisa Simpson. 273 00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:37,422 Hey, vegetarian, I soaked your reed 274 00:12:37,573 --> 00:12:38,831 -in hot dog water. -(gasps) 275 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,759 Ew, ew, ew. 276 00:12:40,952 --> 00:12:42,485 (saxophone playing) 277 00:12:42,545 --> 00:12:44,596 Terrible. Blake? 278 00:12:44,789 --> 00:12:47,414 -(saxophone plays) -Terrible, but better. 279 00:12:47,476 --> 00:12:49,250 -You're first chair. -(gasps) 280 00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:51,936 You were playing me the whole time. 281 00:12:52,129 --> 00:12:54,088 (school bell rings) 282 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,090 Don't you walk away from me. 283 00:12:56,193 --> 00:12:58,851 Well, very soon, I will outplay you, 284 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,761 my blues will be blue-ier, 285 00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:02,947 my "Baker Street" will be more baked, 286 00:13:03,140 --> 00:13:05,008 and I will get my chair back. 287 00:13:05,068 --> 00:13:07,360 It may not be today, or tomorrow, 288 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,621 because tomorrow we have a field trip, 289 00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:12,773 or two days after that because that's... 290 00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:16,277 that's no school, but-but on the 11th. 291 00:13:16,338 --> 00:13:19,022 Yeah, the 11th, it's mine, buddy. 292 00:13:19,082 --> 00:13:20,281 That's the science fair. 293 00:13:20,342 --> 00:13:22,616 Aah! Thanks for reminding me! 294 00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:23,760 (shouts) 295 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:28,214 Okay, audition for King of Cookie Castle, take one. 296 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,716 Okay, you got this, Phil. Book it, book it good. 297 00:13:30,869 --> 00:13:33,294 -We ready? -Off with their heads. 298 00:13:33,355 --> 00:13:35,204 Off with their feet. 299 00:13:35,223 --> 00:13:37,982 Grind the rest into a sugary treat. 300 00:13:38,175 --> 00:13:40,226 Beautiful, you got the part. 301 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,895 Beautiful, you got the fart. (fart noise) 302 00:13:43,048 --> 00:13:45,214 (laughs) Hey, the kid's not bad. 303 00:13:45,275 --> 00:13:46,841 We might have a part for him, too. 304 00:13:46,843 --> 00:13:50,553 And if he improvises like that, I can fire the writers. 305 00:13:50,613 --> 00:13:52,055 Read this, kid. 306 00:13:52,991 --> 00:13:54,866 (English accent): Eat my tights. 307 00:13:55,018 --> 00:13:56,409 -You're hired. -Wow. 308 00:13:56,561 --> 00:13:59,653 Who knew it was so easy to become a working actor? 309 00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,155 MARGE: Hmm. 310 00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:03,842 Okay, everyone say one thing they did today. 311 00:14:03,993 --> 00:14:05,159 I'll start. 312 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,178 I lost my half-cup measuring cup, 313 00:14:07,371 --> 00:14:08,829 so I used two quarter cups. 314 00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:10,573 Crisis averted. 315 00:14:10,633 --> 00:14:12,592 I booked a voice-over job, and the show airs tomorrow. 316 00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:15,002 I thought animation took nine months. 317 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,413 No, you can do any cartoon in a day. 318 00:14:17,473 --> 00:14:20,433 Anyone who takes longer is just trying to bleed the studio dry. 319 00:14:20,585 --> 00:14:22,935 And this is what they're paying me. 320 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,587 (scoffs) That's baloney. 321 00:14:24,647 --> 00:14:26,847 Anybody could fake a check from... 322 00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:29,092 "Warner Bros. Animation." 323 00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:30,684 No, it's legit. 324 00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:33,613 I made more in a minute than you do in a month, fatso. 325 00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,598 -Why, you little... -Uhp-uhp-uhp. 326 00:14:35,658 --> 00:14:37,691 Keep your hands off the moneymaker. 327 00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:38,935 And don't look me in the voice. 328 00:14:38,995 --> 00:14:42,288 (grunts) Lisa, how was your day? 329 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,716 Well, my life is in ruin, 330 00:14:44,867 --> 00:14:47,868 and I'm trying to think of some possible plan to rescue myself. 331 00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:49,370 Plans are fine, 332 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,281 but never underestimate the power of giving up. 333 00:14:52,342 --> 00:14:56,043 Because if you think about it, see, uh, s-spontan-- 334 00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,637 eh, forget it. 335 00:14:57,789 --> 00:15:00,289 ANNOUNCER: Coming up, Cookie Castle, 336 00:15:00,391 --> 00:15:02,383 introducing Bart Simpson. 337 00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:05,069 Oh, I still think we all could have fit. 338 00:15:05,221 --> 00:15:06,479 Now get a good look. 339 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,756 This is your last chance to see normal Bart 340 00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:11,058 before I become a star. 341 00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:14,078 Then I'll be the guy who sells you out with a tell-all book. 342 00:15:14,271 --> 00:15:16,039 Boo-yeah. 343 00:15:21,112 --> 00:15:22,420 (cheering, applause) 344 00:15:22,613 --> 00:15:23,904 Yeah, go, Bart. 345 00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:26,499 (gasps) You got the "and" credit. 346 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:30,911 I negotiated that, in lieu of having a teacher on set. Bam. 347 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,680 (lions growl) 348 00:15:34,809 --> 00:15:38,937 I kneel before you, Jules. 349 00:15:39,130 --> 00:15:40,663 BART'S VOICE: Rise, sir knight, 350 00:15:40,723 --> 00:15:44,000 and kiss the gentle hand of your sovereign. 351 00:15:44,060 --> 00:15:45,351 You play a girl? 352 00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:46,852 -(laughter) -Come on. 353 00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:49,188 (gasps) They didn't tell me that. 354 00:15:49,324 --> 00:15:51,432 My place is in the scullery. 355 00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:55,453 (groans) I thought "scullery" was where they kept the skulls. 356 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:59,123 (singsongy): Bart plays a girl, Bart plays a girl. 357 00:15:59,316 --> 00:16:01,826 And his accent's inconsistent. 358 00:16:02,020 --> 00:16:03,294 (groans) 359 00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:10,009 ♪ ♪ 360 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:19,126 (knocking on door) 361 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,720 -Bart? -(Bart groans) 362 00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:21,813 Go away. 363 00:16:22,006 --> 00:16:24,040 No, I'm-I'm not gonna tease you. 364 00:16:24,058 --> 00:16:27,301 I'm proud that my brother isn't bound by gender stereotypes 365 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,636 or heteronormative thinking. 366 00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:32,215 Ugh. I hate the way your generation talks. 367 00:16:32,275 --> 00:16:33,807 I have something to tell you. 368 00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:36,643 Oh, don't tell me I'm nominated for an Annie Award. 369 00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:40,056 -Those things are worthless. -Much more important. 370 00:16:40,116 --> 00:16:42,000 For my problem, there's no answer. 371 00:16:42,193 --> 00:16:46,153 But what you're doing is brave, and it's a little dangerous, 372 00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,730 and you should be proud. 373 00:16:47,790 --> 00:16:48,731 Really? 374 00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:50,341 That's right, my friend. 375 00:16:50,534 --> 00:16:53,252 You should walk into school with your head held high. 376 00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:55,496 All right, I will. 377 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,998 Hey, everyone, I'm Princess Jules 378 00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:00,076 and I'm proud. 379 00:17:00,094 --> 00:17:01,185 JIMBO: One question: 380 00:17:01,378 --> 00:17:04,096 do you identify as "him" or "her?" 381 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,915 -Him. -Get him! 382 00:17:05,975 --> 00:17:08,751 (grunting) 383 00:17:08,811 --> 00:17:10,102 (humming) 384 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:13,589 (gasps) Uh, y-you're not gonna yell at me? 385 00:17:13,691 --> 00:17:17,109 No. I have lost my will to berate. 386 00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,852 Aw, I'm sorry. 387 00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:21,855 Ralph Wiggum feels sorry for me. 388 00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:24,358 And farther still do I fall. 389 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,527 This will be here for me later. 390 00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:30,122 Leave me alone. Get out of here, you stupid kid. 391 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,291 You're like a Gollum with worse hair, 392 00:17:32,443 --> 00:17:34,627 a subcommittee meeting of the Galactic Senate, 393 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:38,705 a Spider-Man drawn by John Romita Jr. Jr. 394 00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:41,117 Uh-- you fixed me. 395 00:17:41,219 --> 00:17:44,187 -You fixed me. -Yay! 396 00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:47,790 Let's see, where could I move? 397 00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:50,810 Toluca Lake. Lot of voice-over work there. 398 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:53,629 It would be nice to fly in and out of Burbank. 399 00:17:53,689 --> 00:17:54,888 (phone ringing) 400 00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:56,557 Bart, turn on your show. 401 00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,484 You mean the show that ruined my life? 402 00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:01,804 Just turn it on. You're not a princess anymore. 403 00:18:01,864 --> 00:18:03,823 You're a queen. 404 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,416 WARRIOR: Majesty, 405 00:18:05,568 --> 00:18:08,735 the royal unicorn is waiting for your dainty bottom. 406 00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:10,088 Aw, geez. 407 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,572 (unicorn snorts) 408 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:12,982 (neighs) 409 00:18:13,084 --> 00:18:14,834 (grunts, screams) 410 00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,669 (gasps) 411 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,429 (phone chiming) 412 00:18:18,622 --> 00:18:21,915 Whoa. Who knew a princess could be badass? 413 00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:24,510 I'm gonna get a Queen Bart action figure. 414 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:28,189 Whoa. The unicorn's killed every adult in sight. 415 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,989 (unicorn neighing) 416 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,666 From now on, hands off Bart. 417 00:18:47,443 --> 00:18:48,868 What about me? 418 00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:52,188 I like the bullying. It's a form of attention. 419 00:18:52,248 --> 00:18:55,191 Also, hands off Milhouse. 420 00:18:55,209 --> 00:18:56,450 No. 421 00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,302 -(car alarm ringing) -LISA: Well, 422 00:18:58,454 --> 00:19:01,697 I can't play to my abilities or in a stupid first chair, 423 00:19:01,757 --> 00:19:04,717 but I can still just play for the fun of it. 424 00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,103 Beat it. This is our turf. 425 00:19:10,725 --> 00:19:12,692 ♪ ♪ 426 00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:32,895 (applause) 427 00:19:32,955 --> 00:19:34,397 Free pretzel? 428 00:19:34,457 --> 00:19:36,674 The greatest award I've ever won. 429 00:19:39,870 --> 00:19:41,253 Still up there. 430 00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:44,182 Although Dad ate the original pretzel. 431 00:19:44,375 --> 00:19:46,517 Stick it on the tray. 432 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,019 -No. -D'oh. 433 00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:54,508 I'm addicted to playing for free. 434 00:19:54,569 --> 00:19:57,177 Which is the least dangerous addiction a musician can have. 435 00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,447 ♪ ♪ 436 00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:06,120 I want to like it. I just don't. 437 00:20:13,922 --> 00:20:16,956 If you could go back in time and not make one Hulk movie, 438 00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:21,052 which would it be and why? 439 00:20:21,245 --> 00:20:22,386 The most popular superheroes 440 00:20:22,579 --> 00:20:23,963 are Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, 441 00:20:24,057 --> 00:20:28,542 so I propose creating SuperSpiderBat. 442 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:31,454 Why do people who see Superman first think "It's a bird"? 443 00:20:31,514 --> 00:20:33,789 And why do they feel the need to say it out loud? 444 00:20:33,891 --> 00:20:37,568 "Look, it's a bird." I mean, who says that? 445 00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:45,892 BLAKE: ♪ Any note you can reach, I can go higher ♪ 446 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:48,304 LISA: ♪ I can sing anything higher than you ♪ 447 00:20:48,322 --> 00:20:50,915 -BLAKE: ♪ No, you can't, no, you can't ♪ -♪ Yes, I can ♪ 448 00:20:51,108 --> 00:20:53,734 -LISA: ♪ Yes, I can, yes, I can ♪ -♪ No, you can't ♪ 449 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:56,254 -BLAKE: ♪ No, you can't, no, you can't ♪ -♪ Yes, I can ♪ 450 00:20:56,405 --> 00:20:58,923 -LISA: ♪ Yes, I can, yes, I can ♪ -♪ No, you can't ♪ 451 00:20:59,116 --> 00:21:01,667 -BLAKE: ♪ No, you can't, no, you can't ♪ -♪ Yes, I can ♪ 452 00:21:01,819 --> 00:21:04,320 -LISA: ♪ Yes, I can, yes, I can ♪ -♪ No, you can't ♪ 453 00:21:04,338 --> 00:21:07,156 -BLAKE: ♪ No, you can't, no, you can't ♪ -♪ Yes, I can ♪ 454 00:21:07,174 --> 00:21:09,492 -LISA: ♪ Yes, I can, yes, I can ♪ -♪ No, you can't ♪ 455 00:21:09,510 --> 00:21:11,660 -BLAKE: ♪ No, you can't ♪ -LISA: ♪ Yes, I can ♪ 456 00:21:11,721 --> 00:21:13,178 BLAKE: ♪ No, you can't, no, you can't, no, you can't! ♪ 457 00:21:13,331 --> 00:21:14,605 LISA: All right, I can't. Big whoop. 458 00:21:14,757 --> 00:21:17,516 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 459 00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:19,694 Shh!