1 00:00:04,101 --> 00:00:07,764 " The Simpsons " 2 00:00:15,746 --> 00:00:17,714 D'oh! 3 00:00:33,497 --> 00:00:35,863 The News On Parade Corporation presents... 4 00:00:35,966 --> 00:00:37,957 News On Parade... 5 00:00:38,068 --> 00:00:40,593 Corporation News. 6 00:00:40,704 --> 00:00:43,502 Bringing you the world of current events.! 7 00:00:50,147 --> 00:00:51,546 New gadgets.! 8 00:00:54,652 --> 00:00:55,949 And Hollywood.! 9 00:00:57,454 --> 00:01:00,480 Look.! It's Amos from radio's Amos and Andy. 10 00:01:00,591 --> 00:01:02,491 Hello, everybody! 11 00:01:02,593 --> 00:01:05,653 Springfield.: City on the grow.! 12 00:01:05,763 --> 00:01:08,027 It's a proud day as Springfield is declared... 13 00:01:08,132 --> 00:01:11,124 one of America's 400 fastest growing cities.! 14 00:01:11,235 --> 00:01:13,066 And why not? Business is booming.! 15 00:01:13,170 --> 00:01:16,333 Half the country wears Springfield galoshes. 16 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,466 And say hello to the state's first aqua-car factory. 17 00:01:19,576 --> 00:01:21,476 Keep 'em coming, boys.! 18 00:01:21,578 --> 00:01:24,741 The city's even in the celebrity business. Everyone knows... 19 00:01:24,848 --> 00:01:27,316 - Professor ''Rubber Mouth'' hails from Springfield. - - Bravo.! 20 00:01:27,418 --> 00:01:28,976 Everybody's chipping in. 21 00:01:29,086 --> 00:01:32,578 Even this fella has Springfield's can-do spirit.! 22 00:01:35,092 --> 00:01:36,650 So, watch out, Utica. 23 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:40,560 Springfield is a city on the... grow. 24 00:01:44,401 --> 00:01:46,369 The way people act around here... 25 00:01:46,470 --> 00:01:49,803 -you'd think the streets were paved with gold. - They are. 26 00:01:58,649 --> 00:02:00,674 Got any spare change, man? 27 00:02:00,784 --> 00:02:02,911 Yes! And you ain't gettin' it! 28 00:02:03,020 --> 00:02:05,420 Everybody wants somethin' for nothin'. 29 00:02:06,657 --> 00:02:08,557 I'm old.! Gimme, gimme, gimme.! 30 00:02:10,394 --> 00:02:12,828 Huh? Hey! 31 00:02:12,930 --> 00:02:15,797 There's something you don't see in a toilet every day. 32 00:02:15,899 --> 00:02:18,424 Anybody lose their glasses? 33 00:02:18,535 --> 00:02:21,698 Last chance. Whoo-hoo! 34 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:26,238 The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle... 35 00:02:26,343 --> 00:02:28,504 is equal to the square root of the remaining side. 36 00:02:28,612 --> 00:02:30,773 - That's a right triangle, ya idiot! - D'oh! 37 00:02:30,881 --> 00:02:34,647 Thank you so much for visiting our plant, Dr. Kissinger. 38 00:02:34,752 --> 00:02:37,687 - It was fun. - We'll let you know if your glasses turn up. 39 00:02:37,788 --> 00:02:41,485 Uh, yes. Well, I'm sure I left them in the car. 40 00:02:41,592 --> 00:02:43,924 No one must know I dropped them in the toilet. 41 00:02:44,028 --> 00:02:47,054 Not I, the man who drafted the Paris Peace Accords. 42 00:02:48,198 --> 00:02:51,133 - Mm-hmm. Mmm. - Mm. Huh. 43 00:02:51,235 --> 00:02:54,398 Mmm. Hmm. 44 00:02:54,505 --> 00:02:57,235 Sir, bad news from Accounting. The economy's hit us pretty hard. 45 00:02:57,341 --> 00:03:00,538 Tough times, huh? I've lived through 1 2 recessions... 46 00:03:00,644 --> 00:03:03,204 eight panics and five years of McKinleynomics. 47 00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:07,010 - I'll survive this. - Even so, sir. We could stand to lay off a few employees. 48 00:03:07,117 --> 00:03:11,713 Oh! Very well. Lay off... him, him, him, him-- Hmm. 49 00:03:11,822 --> 00:03:14,689 Better keep the egghead. He just might come in handy. 50 00:03:14,792 --> 00:03:17,955 Dad, you shouldn't wear glasses that weren't prescribed for you. 51 00:03:18,062 --> 00:03:21,862 Lisa,just because you're 1 0 feet tall doesn't mean you can tell me what to do. 52 00:03:21,965 --> 00:03:24,331 - I'm Bart. - Give me those. 53 00:03:24,435 --> 00:03:29,031 And finally, Henry Kissinger was hospitalized today after walking into a wall. 54 00:03:29,139 --> 00:03:32,074 Now over to Kent Brockman with some grim economic news. 55 00:03:32,176 --> 00:03:36,112 Scott, things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. 56 00:03:36,213 --> 00:03:39,307 Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. 57 00:03:39,416 --> 00:03:41,816 Useful people are starting to feel the pinch. 58 00:03:41,919 --> 00:03:45,252 I haven't been able to find a job in six years. 59 00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:47,255 Huh. And what training do you have? 60 00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:50,485 Five years of modern dance. Six years of tap. 61 00:03:50,594 --> 00:03:52,494 The economic slump began last spring... 62 00:03:52,596 --> 00:03:54,587 when the government closed Fort Springfield... 63 00:03:54,698 --> 00:03:57,963 devastating the city's liquor and prostitution industries. 64 00:03:58,068 --> 00:03:59,968 Now, at the risk of being unpopular... 65 00:04:00,070 --> 00:04:03,631 this reporter places the blame for all this squarely on you, the viewers. 66 00:04:05,742 --> 00:04:08,370 I propose that I use what's left of the town treasury... 67 00:04:08,479 --> 00:04:11,175 to move to a more prosperous town and run for mayor. 68 00:04:11,281 --> 00:04:16,412 - And once elected, I will send for the rest of you. - Boo! 69 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,249 Excuse me, Mr. Mayor? 70 00:04:18,355 --> 00:04:21,984 The chair recognizes the little chick with the gleam of hope in her eyes. 71 00:04:22,092 --> 00:04:25,721 This piggy bank contains $1 5 I saved from my allowance. 72 00:04:25,829 --> 00:04:29,356 It isn't much, but I would like to help. 73 00:04:29,466 --> 00:04:32,162 Aw,just what I need to tip the skycaps. 74 00:04:32,269 --> 00:04:34,703 I'll tell you what made this town great! 75 00:04:34,805 --> 00:04:37,137 Good, old-fashioned gumption! 76 00:04:37,241 --> 00:04:40,074 There's nothing here a little elbow grease won't fix! 77 00:04:40,177 --> 00:04:42,236 So let's roll up our sleeves... 78 00:04:42,346 --> 00:04:44,473 and-- 79 00:04:44,581 --> 00:04:47,846 People! People! Let's be a little more realistic. 80 00:04:47,951 --> 00:04:49,919 Now, I, uh, hesitate to bring this up... 81 00:04:50,020 --> 00:04:52,511 but a number of cities have rejuvenated their economies... 82 00:04:52,623 --> 00:04:54,784 with, uh, legalized gambling. 83 00:04:56,827 --> 00:04:59,455 There is an added bonus. Some of the revenue... 84 00:04:59,563 --> 00:05:01,963 can go to help our underfunded public schools. 85 00:05:05,936 --> 00:05:09,565 - Well, I like the part about the gambling. - What do you think, Reverend? 86 00:05:09,673 --> 00:05:13,234 Once something has been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral. 87 00:05:13,343 --> 00:05:15,436 - Yea! - By building a casino... 88 00:05:15,546 --> 00:05:18,515 I could tighten my stranglehold on this dismal town! 89 00:05:18,615 --> 00:05:19,912 Yea! 90 00:05:20,017 --> 00:05:22,247 Yea! 91 00:05:23,921 --> 00:05:26,185 Well, now. Are there any objections? 92 00:05:26,290 --> 00:05:28,520 Probably Marge is gonna have some. 93 00:05:30,627 --> 00:05:32,993 Actually, I think it might really help our economy. 94 00:05:35,265 --> 00:05:37,756 Very well then. Instead of fleeing this town... 95 00:05:37,868 --> 00:05:41,167 I'll stay here and grow fat off kickbacks and slush funds. 96 00:05:41,271 --> 00:05:42,568 Yea! 97 00:05:47,010 --> 00:05:49,205 This could be a whole new beginning for Springfield. 98 00:05:49,313 --> 00:05:51,406 And you know what the best part is? 99 00:05:51,515 --> 00:05:54,575 We've really done something for the children. 100 00:06:08,031 --> 00:06:11,000 We're thrilled you've decided to build your casino on our waterfront. 101 00:06:11,101 --> 00:06:15,401 Oh, I'll never forget my carefree boyhood days on this old boardwalk. 102 00:06:21,378 --> 00:06:23,539 Why, you-- 103 00:06:23,647 --> 00:06:25,581 Master Burns! I mean, carry on. 104 00:06:27,684 --> 00:06:30,915 Me leg's gone gimpy! Who'll provide for me little ones? 105 00:06:51,808 --> 00:06:54,436 Oh-- What was I laughing at now? 106 00:06:56,546 --> 00:06:58,514 Oh, yes. That crippled Irishman. 107 00:07:01,785 --> 00:07:04,481 Sir, the designers are here with some prototypes for your casino. 108 00:07:04,588 --> 00:07:06,783 Gentlemen, I give you Britannia! 109 00:07:06,890 --> 00:07:09,017 Gambling with all the glitz and glamour of the British Isles. 110 00:07:09,126 --> 00:07:11,890 Best of all, the waitresses and showgirls are all real Brits. 111 00:07:11,995 --> 00:07:14,623 Fresh from the streets of Sussex they are! 112 00:07:14,731 --> 00:07:16,631 Freshen your drink, governor? 113 00:07:16,733 --> 00:07:19,896 - Get out. - Okay. All right. Wait-- 114 00:07:20,003 --> 00:07:22,130 - Now-- Now, dig this, man-- - Get out! 115 00:07:22,239 --> 00:07:26,039 - Wow. Oh, let me just get my head together. - Now! 116 00:07:26,143 --> 00:07:29,135 I'll need three ships and 50 stout men. 117 00:07:29,246 --> 00:07:32,579 We'll sail round the horn and return with spices and silk... 118 00:07:32,683 --> 00:07:34,947 the likes of which ye have never seen. 119 00:07:35,052 --> 00:07:37,987 - We're building a casino! - Arr. 120 00:07:38,088 --> 00:07:39,988 Can you give me five minutes? 121 00:07:40,090 --> 00:07:43,719 Idiots. I'll design it myself!. I know what people like. 122 00:07:43,827 --> 00:07:45,729 It's got to have sex appeal... and a catchy name. 123 00:07:45,729 --> 00:07:45,990 It's got to have sex appeal... and a catchy name. 124 00:07:51,702 --> 00:07:53,329 Mom, we're having a geography pageant at school... 125 00:07:53,437 --> 00:07:55,564 and I don't know which state to go as. 126 00:07:55,672 --> 00:07:58,971 In honor of legalized gambling, why not go as the state of Nevada? 127 00:07:59,076 --> 00:08:01,044 No. Nevada makes my butt look big. 128 00:08:01,144 --> 00:08:03,305 Then how 'bout going as Florida? 129 00:08:03,413 --> 00:08:06,507 You enjoy orange juice. Old people like you. 130 00:08:06,616 --> 00:08:11,076 - Dad, what do you think? - Shh! I'm trying to teach the baby to gamble. 131 00:08:11,188 --> 00:08:13,884 - Why? - I got a job at Burns's casino. 132 00:08:13,990 --> 00:08:17,391 As you know, it's been my lifelong dream to become a blackjack dealer. 133 00:08:17,494 --> 00:08:20,258 Your lifelong dream was to be a contestant on The Gong Show. 134 00:08:20,364 --> 00:08:23,197 And you did it in 1 977. Remember? 135 00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:27,259 ( ''Oh! Susanna'' ) 136 00:08:32,142 --> 00:08:35,600 We got more gongs than the break-dancing robot that caught on fire. 137 00:08:41,718 --> 00:08:44,016 Hello. I'm retired heavyweight boxer Gerry Cooney. 138 00:08:44,121 --> 00:08:46,021 Welcome to Mr. Burns Casino. 139 00:08:46,123 --> 00:08:49,615 If there's anything I can do to make your visit more enjoyable, please let me know. 140 00:08:49,726 --> 00:08:52,422 - Yeah, great. See ya! - Uh, don't forget to apply for... 141 00:08:52,529 --> 00:08:54,929 our V.I.P. Platinum Club for special discounts on-- 142 00:08:55,031 --> 00:08:57,329 Hey! I said bug off!. 143 00:09:00,604 --> 00:09:03,334 Uh, let's see. Eighteen, 27, 3 5-- 144 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:07,001 Dealer bust! Looks like you all win again. 145 00:09:07,110 --> 00:09:09,044 Yee-haw! Homer... 146 00:09:09,146 --> 00:09:11,341 I want you to have my lucky hat. 147 00:09:11,448 --> 00:09:13,416 I wore it the day Kennedy was shot... 148 00:09:13,517 --> 00:09:16,077 and it always brings me good luck. 149 00:09:16,186 --> 00:09:19,451 Why, thanks, Senator. Oop! Looks like my shift is over. 150 00:09:19,556 --> 00:09:21,353 Uh-oh! 151 00:09:21,458 --> 00:09:23,983 Come on, lucky seven! 152 00:09:24,094 --> 00:09:26,324 Papa needs a new pair of spats. 153 00:09:26,430 --> 00:09:29,797 I want some of that sweet, sweet do-re-mi! 154 00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:31,993 Fat City, here I come! 155 00:09:32,102 --> 00:09:34,002 Please throw the dice now. Please. Now. 156 00:09:34,104 --> 00:09:36,231 Don't rush me! I have arthritis. 157 00:09:36,339 --> 00:09:38,307 Will the gentleman please roll the dice? 158 00:09:38,408 --> 00:09:40,308 All right, all right, smart guy. 159 00:09:40,410 --> 00:09:43,402 Oh, for crying out loud, I dropped one. 160 00:09:43,513 --> 00:09:45,413 Oh! Now it's in my shoe! 161 00:09:45,515 --> 00:09:47,745 Ow! Ow! Ooh! 162 00:09:47,851 --> 00:09:49,751 Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ooh! 163 00:09:53,089 --> 00:09:55,080 A round of applause please for Anastasia! 164 00:09:55,192 --> 00:09:56,159 She loves show business. 165 00:09:56,259 --> 00:09:58,161 So much nicer than the savagery of the jungle, ja? 166 00:09:58,161 --> 00:09:58,752 So much nicer than the savagery of the jungle, ja? 167 00:10:08,238 --> 00:10:10,706 Hey, tiger! Wake up! 168 00:10:26,957 --> 00:10:28,390 Whoo-hoo!Jackpot. 169 00:10:29,359 --> 00:10:31,520 Wait a minute! Are you over 21 ? 170 00:10:31,628 --> 00:10:33,994 - Are you? - I'm not authorized to answer that. 171 00:10:35,365 --> 00:10:38,391 By the way, your martinis suck! 172 00:10:38,502 --> 00:10:41,198 Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do? Start your own casino... 173 00:10:41,304 --> 00:10:43,864 in your tree house and get your little friends to come? 174 00:10:43,974 --> 00:10:45,498 I'd like to see that! 175 00:10:45,609 --> 00:10:47,377 Hi. Yeah, welcome. Have a lucky day.! Mm-hmm. 176 00:10:47,377 --> 00:10:48,036 Hi. Yeah, welcome. Have a lucky day.! Mm-hmm. 177 00:10:53,583 --> 00:10:54,709 Well, he certainly showed me. 178 00:10:54,818 --> 00:10:56,342 Hi, Homie.! 179 00:10:56,453 --> 00:10:59,547 Hey, Marge, after your big tantrum against legalized gambling... 180 00:10:59,656 --> 00:11:02,181 I bet it feels pretty weird to be in a casino. 181 00:11:02,292 --> 00:11:05,557 - I was for the casino! - Strike three, Marge! 182 00:11:05,662 --> 00:11:09,462 I remember that meeting, and I have a photographic memory. 183 00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:12,627 Legalized gambling is a bad idea. 184 00:11:12,736 --> 00:11:15,068 You can build a casino over my dead body. 185 00:11:15,171 --> 00:11:18,368 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 186 00:11:18,475 --> 00:11:20,841 - For you. It's the president. - Y'ello? 187 00:11:20,944 --> 00:11:23,811 And then I said to the president-- Get this-- 188 00:11:23,914 --> 00:11:25,814 Marge? Marge? 189 00:11:27,183 --> 00:11:29,674 Hmm. 190 00:11:29,786 --> 00:11:32,414 Hmm, I wonder if they have a lost and found. 191 00:11:33,623 --> 00:11:35,352 Oh, what the hey! 192 00:11:40,397 --> 00:11:43,127 Mmm! 193 00:11:45,569 --> 00:11:46,968 Hmm. 194 00:11:49,739 --> 00:11:52,333 Hey, how's it goin'? Hey! Good to see you. Tell your friends. 195 00:11:52,442 --> 00:11:55,278 Lookin' lucky! Hey, what's happenin'? Love the jacket. 196 00:11:55,278 --> 00:11:55,539 Lookin' lucky! Hey, what's happenin'? Love the jacket. 197 00:12:01,084 --> 00:12:03,917 Behold the box of mystery! 198 00:12:04,020 --> 00:12:07,353 The cat goes in-- right here-- 199 00:12:13,663 --> 00:12:15,824 Twenty-one? 200 00:12:15,932 --> 00:12:18,162 Do that card-counting thing again. Come on. Do it again. 201 00:12:18,268 --> 00:12:20,168 Definitely have to leave the table. 202 00:12:20,270 --> 00:12:22,170 No! Please, please, please, please, please. 203 00:12:22,272 --> 00:12:25,002 Gotta watch Wapner. Leave the table. Yeah, leave the table. 204 00:12:25,108 --> 00:12:27,303 No! 205 00:12:39,222 --> 00:12:42,385 Sir, you haven't slept since the casino opened five days ago. 206 00:12:42,492 --> 00:12:44,585 I've discovered the perfect business. 207 00:12:44,694 --> 00:12:47,788 People swarm in, empty their pockets and scuttle off!. 208 00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:49,922 Nothing can stop me now! 209 00:12:50,033 --> 00:12:52,263 Except microscopic germs. 210 00:12:52,369 --> 00:12:55,566 - But we won't let that happen, will we, Smithers? - Uh-- No, sir. 211 00:13:11,755 --> 00:13:15,555 - Whoa! A baby on the table! That's good luck! - Yea! 212 00:13:15,659 --> 00:13:18,890 - Snake eyes. Sorry. - Boo! 213 00:13:18,995 --> 00:13:23,728 Garsh, it must be excitin' to live in the casino. 214 00:13:23,833 --> 00:13:27,462 - Ja. - You know, we are having a party tonight. 215 00:13:33,109 --> 00:13:35,839 Whoa, Marge! You gotta watch out. 216 00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:38,675 Your little boy Bart could have been eaten by that pony! 217 00:13:38,782 --> 00:13:41,342 Oh, my God! Barney, thank you. 218 00:13:41,451 --> 00:13:43,351 I would never have forgiven myself. 219 00:13:43,453 --> 00:13:45,512 Now, you stay put, young lady. 220 00:13:45,622 --> 00:13:47,681 Oh! 221 00:13:47,791 --> 00:13:50,191 Man, that's classic compulsive behavior. 222 00:13:50,293 --> 00:13:53,194 Wow! Free beer! 223 00:13:53,296 --> 00:13:55,196 Buddy, those are my quarters! 224 00:13:55,298 --> 00:13:57,596 Hey, this guy's paying off!. 225 00:14:05,308 --> 00:14:09,506 I don't wanna hit a sore spot, but can we talk about herpes? 226 00:14:09,612 --> 00:14:11,580 " Herpes, herpes, bo-berpes " 227 00:14:11,681 --> 00:14:15,242 " Banana-fana, fo-ferpes Herpes, oh " 228 00:14:15,351 --> 00:14:17,785 Hey, that spot on Gorbachev's head-- 229 00:14:17,887 --> 00:14:20,117 Herpes! Trust me. 230 00:14:20,223 --> 00:14:24,057 Anybody here have herpes? Huh? Huh? 231 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,560 You people are the worst audience I've ever seen. 232 00:14:26,663 --> 00:14:28,893 Well, you're the worst comedian we've ever seen! 233 00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:32,661 Oh, great! Well, we'll just sit here silently for the next 90 minutes. 234 00:14:32,769 --> 00:14:34,999 Fine with us. 235 00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:42,569 They're all covered with filthy germs! Aren't they, Smithers? 236 00:14:42,679 --> 00:14:44,647 Why, what do you mean, sir? 237 00:14:46,082 --> 00:14:49,017 - Freemasons run the country! - Ew! 238 00:14:53,823 --> 00:14:55,848 Marge, you waited for me! 239 00:14:57,961 --> 00:15:00,020 - Okay, Marge. Let's go. - I'll catch up to you. 240 00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:02,462 - Marge, I'm taking the car. - I'll walk. 241 00:15:02,565 --> 00:15:05,466 - This late? Through the bad neighborhood? - Yeah. 242 00:15:05,568 --> 00:15:08,298 - Marge-- - Go home! You're bad luck! 243 00:15:08,404 --> 00:15:12,340 Wait! I see what's happening here. 244 00:15:12,442 --> 00:15:17,379 You're just mad because everyone in this town loves gambling except for you! 245 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:21,280 Well, that's just sad. 246 00:15:28,691 --> 00:15:30,591 - Um-- - What? 247 00:15:30,693 --> 00:15:33,253 - Excuse me, ma'am. Don't you think you've gambled enough? - No! 248 00:15:33,363 --> 00:15:37,823 Okay. We're required by law to ask every 7 5 hours. Get her another free drink. 249 00:15:37,934 --> 00:15:41,335 Do you get the feeling this family is disintegrating? 250 00:15:41,437 --> 00:15:43,632 I mean, we haven't had a meal with Mom all week. 251 00:15:43,740 --> 00:15:46,231 And she hasn't even started my costume for the geography pageant. 252 00:15:46,342 --> 00:15:49,038 Pipe down, Sister! I gotta book a new act for tonight. 253 00:15:49,145 --> 00:15:52,114 Turns out that Liza Minnelli impersonator was really Liza Minnelli. 254 00:15:54,217 --> 00:15:57,516 - There's nothing to eat for breakfast! - You gotta improvise, Lisa. 255 00:15:57,620 --> 00:16:02,023 Cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust-- 256 00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:04,355 - Mmm! - Maybe Mom just doesn't realize we miss her. 257 00:16:04,460 --> 00:16:06,553 We could go down to the casino and let her know. 258 00:16:06,663 --> 00:16:09,097 Aw, come on, Lisa. There's no reason to-- 259 00:16:11,034 --> 00:16:12,934 Let's go see Mom. 260 00:16:15,271 --> 00:16:17,171 Marge, we need to talk. 261 00:16:17,273 --> 00:16:20,470 You're spending too much time at the casino, and I think you may have a problem. 262 00:16:20,577 --> 00:16:22,477 I won $60 last night. 263 00:16:22,579 --> 00:16:24,945 Whoo-hoo! Problem solved! 264 00:16:25,048 --> 00:16:27,881 Smithers, I've designed a new plane. 265 00:16:27,984 --> 00:16:31,283 I call it the Spruce Moose, and it will carry 200 passengers... 266 00:16:31,387 --> 00:16:36,086 from New York's Idlewild Airport to the Belgian Congo in 1 7 minutes! 267 00:16:36,192 --> 00:16:38,786 - That's quite a nice model, sir. - Model? 268 00:16:38,895 --> 00:16:42,524 - Mom.! - Huh? What? Lisa, what's up? 269 00:16:42,632 --> 00:16:45,430 - I just had a bad dream. - Oh, sure. 270 00:16:45,535 --> 00:16:47,730 You just lie down and tell me all about it. 271 00:16:47,837 --> 00:16:51,898 Well, I know it's absurd, but I dreamed the bogeyman was after me, and he's hiding-- 272 00:16:52,008 --> 00:16:53,908 Bogeyman! 273 00:16:54,010 --> 00:16:56,240 You nail the windows shut. I'll get the gun. 274 00:16:56,346 --> 00:16:59,110 Bart, I don't want to alarm you... 275 00:16:59,215 --> 00:17:01,683 but there may be a bogeyman or bogeymen in the house. 276 00:17:11,427 --> 00:17:13,327 Hmm. 277 00:17:13,429 --> 00:17:15,829 - What happened here? - Oh, nothing, Marge. 278 00:17:15,932 --> 00:17:18,662 Just a little incident involving the bogeyman! 279 00:17:18,768 --> 00:17:22,704 None of this would have happened if you had been here to keep me from acting stupid! 280 00:17:22,805 --> 00:17:26,536 Oh, I'm sorry. I have been spending too much time at the casino. 281 00:17:26,643 --> 00:17:28,543 I'll be around more from now on. 282 00:17:28,645 --> 00:17:30,840 Does this mean you'll help me with my costume? 283 00:17:30,947 --> 00:17:34,110 Oh, sure, honey. I promise. 284 00:17:34,217 --> 00:17:36,583 - Thanks, Mom. - Mmm. 285 00:17:36,686 --> 00:17:39,120 Aw,just like on TV. 286 00:17:45,528 --> 00:17:47,052 Hi. You from the casino? 287 00:17:47,163 --> 00:17:49,256 - I'm from a casino. - Good enough. Let's go. 288 00:17:53,436 --> 00:17:56,132 I'm afraid Robert Goulet hasn't arrived yet, sir. 289 00:17:56,239 --> 00:17:59,367 Hmm. Very well. Begin the thawing ofJim Nabors. 290 00:18:03,079 --> 00:18:05,809 Are you sure this is the casino? 291 00:18:05,915 --> 00:18:07,815 I think I should call my manager. 292 00:18:07,917 --> 00:18:10,579 Your manager says for you to shut up! 293 00:18:10,687 --> 00:18:12,587 Vera said that? Huh. 294 00:18:15,358 --> 00:18:18,589 Dad! Mom said she'd be home to help me with my costume. 295 00:18:18,695 --> 00:18:21,562 And she's not! And the geography pageant is tonight! 296 00:18:21,664 --> 00:18:23,996 Lisa, your mom still loves you. 297 00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:26,091 It's just that she has a career now. 298 00:18:26,202 --> 00:18:27,794 She's a slot jockey. 299 00:18:27,904 --> 00:18:31,465 But if I don't show up in a rubber suit shaped like the state of Florida... 300 00:18:31,574 --> 00:18:34,099 I'll be the laughingstock of the whole school. 301 00:18:34,210 --> 00:18:36,440 Oh, it's always something, isn't it? 302 00:18:36,546 --> 00:18:38,980 First I have to drive your pregnant mother to the hospital... 303 00:18:39,082 --> 00:18:41,448 so she can give birth to you, and now this! 304 00:18:41,551 --> 00:18:44,611 Ow, ow, ow, ow. 305 00:18:44,721 --> 00:18:46,848 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! 306 00:18:49,592 --> 00:18:52,561 - Dad! - Oh, yeah. The costume. 307 00:18:52,662 --> 00:18:55,563 Hello, ''Floreda''! 308 00:18:55,665 --> 00:18:58,133 I'm not a state! 309 00:18:58,234 --> 00:19:01,465 I'm a monster! 310 00:19:03,206 --> 00:19:05,731 No, Lisa. The only monster here is the gambling monster... 311 00:19:05,842 --> 00:19:07,742 that has enslaved your mother! 312 00:19:07,844 --> 00:19:09,744 I call him Gamblor! 313 00:19:09,846 --> 00:19:13,509 And it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws! 314 00:19:13,616 --> 00:19:17,143 Marge! Where are you? 315 00:19:17,253 --> 00:19:19,380 Damn this casino! 316 00:19:22,558 --> 00:19:26,585 Double stars! Everybody wins! 317 00:19:26,696 --> 00:19:28,425 Yea! 318 00:19:28,531 --> 00:19:30,192 Hey! 319 00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:34,201 - Seven. Lucky seven! - Yea! 320 00:19:35,638 --> 00:19:38,106 - Yeah-- Ooh! - He can't talk now. 321 00:19:41,377 --> 00:19:43,277 Marge? 322 00:19:43,379 --> 00:19:45,279 - Hey! - Smithers... 323 00:19:45,381 --> 00:19:48,214 I don't want that unpredictable lunatic working in my casino. 324 00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:50,512 Fine. We'll transfer him to the nuclear plant, sir. 325 00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:53,612 Oh, my beloved plant. How I miss her. 326 00:19:53,723 --> 00:19:55,714 Bah! To hell with this! 327 00:19:55,825 --> 00:19:57,793 Get my razor! Draw a bath! 328 00:19:57,894 --> 00:20:01,557 - And get these Kleenex boxes off my feet! - Certainly, sir. 329 00:20:01,664 --> 00:20:05,100 - And, uh, the jars of urine? - Oh, we'll hang on to those. 330 00:20:05,201 --> 00:20:07,897 Now, to the plant! We'll take the Spruce Moose! 331 00:20:08,004 --> 00:20:10,097 - Hop in! - But, sir-- 332 00:20:10,206 --> 00:20:12,970 I said hop in. 333 00:20:20,416 --> 00:20:22,316 Homer, what is it? Slow down. 334 00:20:22,418 --> 00:20:25,546 Yer getta ferda redda oura. 335 00:20:25,655 --> 00:20:27,486 Think before you say each word. 336 00:20:27,590 --> 00:20:31,287 - You broke a promise to your child. - What? 337 00:20:31,394 --> 00:20:35,091 You promised Lisa to help her with her costume. 338 00:20:35,198 --> 00:20:38,599 You made her cry. Then I cried. 339 00:20:38,701 --> 00:20:42,398 Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trouper. 340 00:20:42,505 --> 00:20:45,474 Lisa's costume! 341 00:20:45,575 --> 00:20:50,069 Homer, I didn't realize. I'm so sorry. 342 00:20:50,179 --> 00:20:54,513 Marge, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem. 343 00:20:54,617 --> 00:20:57,142 You know, you're right, Homer. 344 00:20:57,253 --> 00:20:59,153 Maybe I should get some professional help. 345 00:20:59,255 --> 00:21:01,917 No, no! That's too expensive. Just don't do it anymore. 346 00:21:03,426 --> 00:21:05,326 "Jingle bells Batman smells " 347 00:21:05,428 --> 00:21:07,328 " Robin laid an egg " 348 00:21:07,430 --> 00:21:11,332 " Batmobile lost its wheel and TheJoker got away, hey " 349 00:21:11,434 --> 00:21:13,334 Thank you! Thank you very much. 350 00:21:13,436 --> 00:21:15,461 - Ow! - Oh, I'm sorry, kid. 351 00:21:15,571 --> 00:21:18,199 And special awards go to the two students... 352 00:21:18,307 --> 00:21:20,332 who obviously had no help from their parents: 353 00:21:20,443 --> 00:21:23,606 Lisa Simpson and Ralph Wiggum. 354 00:21:23,713 --> 00:21:26,204 - I'm Idaho! - Yes, of course you are. 355 00:21:26,315 --> 00:21:29,045 You know, Marge, for the first time in our marriage... 356 00:21:29,152 --> 00:21:31,985 I can finally look down my nose at you. 357 00:21:32,088 --> 00:21:34,181 You have a gambling problem! 358 00:21:34,290 --> 00:21:36,656 That's true. Will you forgive me? 359 00:21:36,759 --> 00:21:38,659 Oh, sure! 360 00:21:38,761 --> 00:21:41,355 Remember when I got caught stealing all those watches from Sears? 361 00:21:41,464 --> 00:21:45,366 Well, that's nothing, because you have a gambling problem! 362 00:21:45,468 --> 00:21:47,800 And remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house... 363 00:21:47,904 --> 00:21:49,804 'cause he was dressed like Santa Claus? 364 00:21:49,906 --> 00:21:52,932 Well, you have a gambling problem! 365 00:21:53,042 --> 00:21:56,102 Homer, when you forgive someone you can't throw it back at them like that. 366 00:21:56,212 --> 00:21:58,112 Aw, what a gyp. 367 00:21:58,214 --> 00:22:00,409 - Mmm. - Remember when I-- 368 00:22:00,516 --> 00:22:02,484 - Homer! - Oh, yeah. I forgot already.