1 00:00:04,404 --> 00:00:06,070 Come on, everybody. 2 00:00:06,072 --> 00:00:08,239 Time for the family portrait. 3 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:12,160 Let's bunch together now. Here we go. 4 00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:14,779 Move it! 5 00:00:14,847 --> 00:00:17,215 Perfecto. Everybody smile. 6 00:00:17,282 --> 00:00:19,350 I'm going to set the automatic timer. 7 00:00:22,204 --> 00:00:23,822 Almost ready. Here we go. 8 00:00:23,889 --> 00:00:26,791 Let's get this show on the road, man. We got things to do. 9 00:00:26,859 --> 00:00:28,126 Yeah, Dad. 10 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,394 Okay, here we go. 11 00:00:29,461 --> 00:00:31,713 Make room for Jumbo. What'd you say? 12 00:00:31,780 --> 00:00:32,914 Nothing. 13 00:00:32,982 --> 00:00:35,033 All right, everybody, squeeze in real tight. 14 00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:37,903 I want to get us all in the picture this time. 15 00:00:37,970 --> 00:00:39,905 Closer. Closer! 16 00:00:42,424 --> 00:00:46,894 Okay, hold still. This is the last picture on the roll. 17 00:00:46,896 --> 00:00:48,129 Praise the Lord. 18 00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:49,130 Watch your mouth, you little smart-ass. 19 00:00:49,398 --> 00:00:50,115 Yeah, Bart. 20 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:55,437 Nothing's going to ruin this one. The timer's a-ticking. 21 00:00:55,504 --> 00:00:56,538 Bart's making faces, Dad. 22 00:00:56,605 --> 00:00:57,705 Bart! 23 00:00:58,941 --> 00:01:01,609 This one's going to be the Simpsons at our finest. 24 00:01:01,677 --> 00:01:04,045 Smile, look cheerful. Here we go. 25 00:01:05,214 --> 00:01:06,414 Here we go. 26 00:01:07,516 --> 00:01:08,649 Here we go. 27 00:01:08,717 --> 00:01:09,584 Why, you little... 28 00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:25,650 Kitty cat. 29 00:01:28,937 --> 00:01:29,988 Elmo. 30 00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:37,028 Um... uh... 31 00:01:39,882 --> 00:01:41,699 Watering can. 32 00:01:43,602 --> 00:01:44,902 This is a nightmare. 33 00:01:44,970 --> 00:01:46,737 We're getting blown out of the water. 34 00:01:46,805 --> 00:01:50,074 Eh, what can I say? Maggie and I share a special bond. 35 00:01:56,465 --> 00:01:59,366 School bus? Bart and Lisa? 36 00:01:59,434 --> 00:02:01,536 Bart and Lisa are almost home from school, 37 00:02:01,554 --> 00:02:03,955 and we have a dentist appointment at 3:00. 38 00:02:04,023 --> 00:02:05,090 Thanks, Maggie. 39 00:02:08,010 --> 00:02:09,878 We win by forfeit. 40 00:02:09,945 --> 00:02:12,414 The sweetest win there is. 41 00:02:16,953 --> 00:02:18,320 It won't start. 42 00:02:19,688 --> 00:02:21,773 I'll just use Homer's AAA card. 43 00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:26,511 American Applesauce Association? 44 00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:29,965 We're going to have to run. There isn't even time to stretch my quads. 45 00:02:30,699 --> 00:02:32,066 My quads! 46 00:02:32,134 --> 00:02:35,436 Every stride is a nightmare! 47 00:02:54,806 --> 00:02:56,074 Whoops. 48 00:02:57,126 --> 00:02:58,809 Ow! 49 00:02:58,877 --> 00:03:00,245 How you holding up, Maggie? 50 00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:17,345 Sorry, sorry, sorry. 51 00:03:25,470 --> 00:03:26,487 Hey, Marge. 52 00:03:32,177 --> 00:03:33,995 Oh! Ah! Oh! Oh! 53 00:03:52,748 --> 00:03:54,015 We're gonna make it. 54 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,668 Marge Simpson, 55 00:03:56,735 --> 00:03:58,369 I just heard the most delicious piece of gossip. 56 00:03:58,437 --> 00:03:59,954 Tell me later! 57 00:04:04,226 --> 00:04:07,495 Oh, hi, kids. You're just in time to go to the dentist. 58 00:04:07,562 --> 00:04:09,347 Dentist? You said we were going to ride 59 00:04:09,414 --> 00:04:11,116 dirt bikes around the cemetery. 60 00:04:11,183 --> 00:04:14,169 Oh, Bart, you fall for that every six months. 61 00:04:15,137 --> 00:04:16,738 Hey, suckers, check it out. 62 00:04:16,806 --> 00:04:20,491 Marge is taking me to ride dirt bikes at the cemetery. 63 00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:22,460 You're going to the dentist, too, Dad. 64 00:04:22,527 --> 00:04:27,315 Why the cemetery, I wondered, but my dreams were too strong. 65 00:04:29,985 --> 00:04:31,402 Ah... 66 00:04:31,470 --> 00:04:34,055 Mr. Simpson, have you been flossing regularly? 67 00:04:34,057 --> 00:04:36,341 Absolutely. All the time. 68 00:04:36,408 --> 00:04:41,395 I go to the floss store and they're like, "Whoa, there he is again." 69 00:04:41,463 --> 00:04:43,331 'Cause I buy so much floss. 70 00:04:43,398 --> 00:04:45,066 Let's just get started. 71 00:04:47,102 --> 00:04:49,420 Oh, my God! My gums! 72 00:04:49,488 --> 00:04:51,356 They hurt so much! 73 00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:52,674 I haven't started yet. 74 00:04:52,741 --> 00:04:55,894 I know, but a breeze from the window went in my mouth. 75 00:05:01,683 --> 00:05:03,401 You butcher! 76 00:05:03,468 --> 00:05:04,786 Don't worry, sweetie. 77 00:05:04,853 --> 00:05:07,455 I'm sure that man has some special tooth problem. 78 00:05:07,522 --> 00:05:10,558 I don't even have a special tooth problem! 79 00:05:10,626 --> 00:05:13,094 This is just a routine checkup! 80 00:05:16,665 --> 00:05:18,999 Oh, the bib is choking me! 81 00:05:19,067 --> 00:05:20,117 It's over? 82 00:05:20,185 --> 00:05:22,453 That wasn't so bad. 83 00:05:22,521 --> 00:05:24,389 This tape explains oral hygiene 84 00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:26,358 in a way that's exciting for kids. 85 00:05:39,588 --> 00:05:41,856 Damn, baby got bacteria. 86 00:05:41,858 --> 00:05:43,508 You want to stick it to these whiteys? 87 00:05:43,575 --> 00:05:45,075 Hey, I'm down with OPP-- 88 00:05:45,143 --> 00:05:47,512 "Ongoing periodontal problems." 89 00:05:47,579 --> 00:05:48,746 Break it down. 90 00:06:00,809 --> 00:06:04,362 Hey, you low-life degenerates, stop illin' with the fillin'. 91 00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:08,616 Luda-Crest! 92 00:06:14,306 --> 00:06:16,490 ♪I'm the enemy of the cavity ♪ 93 00:06:16,558 --> 00:06:17,892 ♪Unstoppable like gravity ♪ 94 00:06:17,993 --> 00:06:19,760 ♪So brush with regularity ♪ 95 00:06:19,828 --> 00:06:20,995 ♪Or you will face calamity ♪ 96 00:06:21,062 --> 00:06:23,080 ♪I'll see ya in Atlanta, GA ♪ 97 00:06:23,148 --> 00:06:25,667 ♪Dirty, dirty mouth, y'all. ♪ 98 00:06:25,734 --> 00:06:27,685 This film is against tooth decay, 99 00:06:27,753 --> 00:06:29,637 but it also kind of glamorizes it. 100 00:06:29,705 --> 00:06:31,606 Mixed signals, hmm... 101 00:06:33,742 --> 00:06:36,343 This is the greatest movie ever. 102 00:06:36,345 --> 00:06:37,861 Dad, that's Ludicrous! 103 00:06:37,929 --> 00:06:39,480 I have a right to my views. 104 00:06:39,548 --> 00:06:42,166 No! I mean Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, 105 00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:44,418 right here in the dental plaza! 106 00:06:44,420 --> 00:06:48,539 Hey, man, that video was made for a onetime only showing in Canada, 107 00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:49,857 understand? Do ya? 108 00:06:49,924 --> 00:06:52,193 I'm sorry. There must have been some sort of misunder... 109 00:06:52,195 --> 00:06:54,579 Expect a letter from Cap In The Ass Productions 110 00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:56,380 and its head legal counsel, 111 00:06:56,449 --> 00:06:58,950 Ms. Melissa Burlingame! Peace out! 112 00:07:01,202 --> 00:07:03,872 Here's a free toothbrush. Keep those teeth clean. 113 00:07:03,939 --> 00:07:08,126 So you're saying I should do your job for you, at home, for free. 114 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,744 You wish. 115 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,816 Okay, Principal Skinner, I want you to relax. 116 00:07:15,884 --> 00:07:19,887 Just lie completely at ease while I administer the nitrous. 117 00:07:19,889 --> 00:07:20,905 I shall. 118 00:07:23,308 --> 00:07:25,009 The dentist will be here in a minute. 119 00:07:25,077 --> 00:07:29,230 He'll know exactly what he's doing. Don't resist in any way. 120 00:07:39,057 --> 00:07:41,091 Good afternoon, Principal Stinkface. 121 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,343 Dr. Bart. 122 00:07:42,345 --> 00:07:44,378 Let's see... according to your charts, 123 00:07:44,446 --> 00:07:47,198 you're due for your annual throat scraping. 124 00:07:47,266 --> 00:07:50,618 Uh-oh, I'm feeling a lot of cooties down there. 125 00:07:50,686 --> 00:07:52,570 We may need to replace a tooth. 126 00:08:01,113 --> 00:08:02,363 Now rinse. 127 00:08:03,431 --> 00:08:05,316 Finally, I'm going to take an X ray 128 00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:07,418 so lie perfectly still for 20 minutes. 129 00:08:10,773 --> 00:08:13,107 Don't you love that clean mouth feeling? 130 00:08:13,175 --> 00:08:14,275 Sure do. 131 00:08:14,342 --> 00:08:15,760 Let's go get ice cream. 132 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,811 I can't wait to get the freshness out of my mouth. 133 00:08:17,813 --> 00:08:20,982 I'm going to glue my mouth shut with butterscotch. 134 00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:23,951 Oh. Yay. 135 00:08:26,071 --> 00:08:27,805 What the hell is a fundae? 136 00:08:27,873 --> 00:08:30,041 It's a sundae that's fun. 137 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:32,427 I like that, but I'm on a bit of a health kick. 138 00:08:32,494 --> 00:08:36,297 So I'll take the low-fat vanilla-- with the following mix-ins: 139 00:08:36,299 --> 00:08:39,317 Snickles, Gooey Bears, Charlottesville Chew, 140 00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:42,153 Nice 'N' Many, Kat Kit, Herschel's Smooches, 141 00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:45,223 Mrs. Bad Bar, and Milk Dudes. 142 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:46,524 Cup or cone? 143 00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:47,992 Uh... cone! 144 00:08:49,477 --> 00:08:52,480 ♪Celebrate good times, come on... ♪ 145 00:08:53,415 --> 00:08:54,548 Congratulations. 146 00:08:54,616 --> 00:08:57,084 You just purchased the one millionth 147 00:08:57,152 --> 00:08:59,553 ice-cream cone sold by this store! 148 00:08:59,555 --> 00:09:01,839 Oh, my God, this is amazing! 149 00:09:01,907 --> 00:09:04,275 Wait, I'm gonna be driving. I'll go for the cup. 150 00:09:05,444 --> 00:09:07,378 Dad! Fine, cone. 151 00:09:07,446 --> 00:09:09,346 What's this? 152 00:09:10,582 --> 00:09:12,099 Tonight on Smartline, 153 00:09:12,167 --> 00:09:13,901 a provocative discussion of the Middle East... 154 00:09:13,968 --> 00:09:15,553 will not be featured. 155 00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:19,106 Instead, we'll be talking to a man who bought an ice-cream cone. 156 00:09:19,174 --> 00:09:20,341 That's me. 157 00:09:20,409 --> 00:09:21,842 Of course that has nothing to do with the fact 158 00:09:21,910 --> 00:09:23,544 that this station and the ice-cream company 159 00:09:23,612 --> 00:09:24,945 are owned by the same corporation, 160 00:09:25,013 --> 00:09:25,997 but I digress. 161 00:09:26,064 --> 00:09:27,999 All right, let's just get through this. 162 00:09:28,066 --> 00:09:29,867 Mr. Simpson, tell us how it felt 163 00:09:29,935 --> 00:09:31,669 when you bought the fateful treat. 164 00:09:31,736 --> 00:09:36,007 I've never been to war, but I imagine it feels just like your first kill. 165 00:09:36,074 --> 00:09:38,642 The happiness swept me away! 166 00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:40,410 That hurt like a... 167 00:09:43,899 --> 00:09:45,166 What'd I miss? 168 00:09:45,234 --> 00:09:47,634 Kent Brockman said a horrible swear. 169 00:09:47,702 --> 00:09:48,769 Which one? 170 00:09:50,789 --> 00:09:52,940 Uh, I'll Etch-A-Sketch it for you. 171 00:09:53,008 --> 00:09:54,975 Etch... sketch... etch... sketch... 172 00:09:56,227 --> 00:09:58,129 Shake it! Shake it! 173 00:09:59,230 --> 00:10:00,431 It won't come off. 174 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:02,900 Where's the hammer? 175 00:10:08,339 --> 00:10:09,640 Earlier on this broadcast, 176 00:10:09,708 --> 00:10:12,343 I said a word so vile it should only be uttered 177 00:10:12,411 --> 00:10:15,262 by Satan himself while sitting on the toilet. 178 00:10:15,330 --> 00:10:18,432 I apologize, and will make a large donation 179 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:21,269 to charities that fight teen cursing. Good night. 180 00:10:26,191 --> 00:10:28,192 Hmph, people don't seem so mad. 181 00:10:30,729 --> 00:10:33,413 Uh, excuse me, sir. Did you see my broadcast tonight? 182 00:10:33,481 --> 00:10:35,566 Oh, God, no, I get my news from the Internet 183 00:10:35,701 --> 00:10:37,385 like every other normal person under 70. 184 00:10:37,453 --> 00:10:39,036 Farewell, dinosaur. 185 00:10:40,071 --> 00:10:41,706 No one saw my show. 186 00:10:41,773 --> 00:10:44,024 So, no one heard my filthy faux pas. 187 00:10:44,092 --> 00:10:45,743 My career is safe. 188 00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:48,862 Well, the important thing is we got through this crisis together. 189 00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:50,431 That makes us friends, right? 190 00:10:50,499 --> 00:10:53,217 Uh, hey, look, it's the airport bus. You should get on it. 191 00:10:53,285 --> 00:10:54,602 Okay. 192 00:10:57,939 --> 00:10:59,706 America West, please. 193 00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:04,362 I can't believe 194 00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:05,980 Kent Brockman got away with it. 195 00:11:06,047 --> 00:11:09,166 Back in my day, TV stars couldn't say "booby," 196 00:11:09,234 --> 00:11:12,937 "tushie," "burp," "fanny burp," "water closet," "underpants," 197 00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:15,155 "dingle-dangle," "Boston marriage," 198 00:11:15,223 --> 00:11:20,328 "LBJ," "Titicaca," "hot dog," or "front lumps"! 199 00:11:23,498 --> 00:11:25,699 I'm not sure Brockman's out of the woods yet. 200 00:11:25,767 --> 00:11:28,702 There are a lot of religious watchdog groups out there 201 00:11:28,770 --> 00:11:32,139 keeping the world safe from the horror of free expression. 202 00:11:32,207 --> 00:11:34,225 You mean there are losers who spend all day 203 00:11:34,292 --> 00:11:36,877 watching TV looking for stuff to complain about? 204 00:11:36,944 --> 00:11:39,012 Who'd be lame enough to do that? 205 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:43,701 Okay, Smallville... super dog licks himself. 206 00:11:43,969 --> 00:11:46,036 That definitely goes in the naughty pile. 207 00:11:46,321 --> 00:11:47,337 Hmph. 208 00:11:50,925 --> 00:11:55,195 60 Minutes... Morley Safer has questionable pants fold. 209 00:11:55,263 --> 00:11:58,432 The L Word... Used the "L" word. 210 00:12:02,688 --> 00:12:04,538 And now to peruse the local news. 211 00:12:06,024 --> 00:12:08,159 The happiness swept me away. 212 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:10,211 Oh, that hurt like a... 213 00:12:13,682 --> 00:12:17,201 God's least favorite word uttered on the public airwaves. 214 00:12:17,269 --> 00:12:20,538 "To: Online Christian Soldiers. 215 00:12:20,606 --> 00:12:24,408 Subject: Televised Super Swear." 216 00:12:24,476 --> 00:12:25,743 Daddy, what are you doing? 217 00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:28,161 Imploring people I never met to pressure a government 218 00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:29,763 with better things to do to punish a man 219 00:12:29,831 --> 00:12:31,865 who meant no harm for something nobody even saw. 220 00:12:31,933 --> 00:12:33,200 That's what I'm doing. 221 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,721 Daddy, we think you need a new mommy. 222 00:12:36,788 --> 00:12:38,322 First things first. 223 00:12:41,893 --> 00:12:44,262 The Federal Communications Commission announced today it will launch 224 00:12:44,329 --> 00:12:48,332 a full inquiry into garbage-tongued anchorman Kent Brockman? 225 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,369 In a related story, Channel Six will demote Brockman 226 00:12:51,436 --> 00:12:52,986 to... weekend weatherman?! 227 00:12:53,054 --> 00:12:55,556 Dear God, this can't be happening. 228 00:13:02,297 --> 00:13:06,733 It's a glorious day here in Springfield. Light winds, low humidity. 229 00:13:06,801 --> 00:13:09,770 Now, let's check the five-day forecast. What the...?! 230 00:13:09,837 --> 00:13:11,923 Even the map thinks you stink, Kent. 231 00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:16,877 In breaking news, the FCC has just handed down 232 00:13:16,945 --> 00:13:19,413 a record ten million dollar fine against Channel 6 233 00:13:19,481 --> 00:13:22,917 for Kent Brockman's shameful swear-nami. 234 00:13:22,984 --> 00:13:24,384 Ten million dollars?! 235 00:13:24,453 --> 00:13:26,520 Looks like Newshound, the Channel Six mascot, 236 00:13:26,588 --> 00:13:29,440 is gonna have to go without his lazy-eye surgery. 237 00:13:30,575 --> 00:13:31,909 Sorry, boy. 238 00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:34,645 No, I'm over here. Over here! 239 00:13:34,713 --> 00:13:36,396 I got a treat for you. 240 00:13:36,464 --> 00:13:39,967 Oh! Now he's gonna starve. Proud of yourself, Kent? 241 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:45,573 Kids, your old pal Krusty has had to make a few cutbacks 242 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:48,726 because of a huge fine levied against the station. 243 00:13:48,794 --> 00:13:49,593 Yay! 244 00:13:50,428 --> 00:13:51,962 That's a bad thing. 245 00:13:52,030 --> 00:13:55,399 Anyway, we can't afford to pay the voice actors on Itchy and Scratchy, 246 00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:58,903 so I'm doing the voices myself. Roll it. 247 00:13:58,971 --> 00:14:02,089 I'm a cat walking down the street, swinging my arms. 248 00:14:02,157 --> 00:14:04,141 Look, a lady made of dynamite! 249 00:14:04,208 --> 00:14:06,310 Wait, I don't know that yet. 250 00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:08,829 How about a smooch? Kablooey! 251 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:13,184 Here comes the mouse, what's-his-name. 252 00:14:13,252 --> 00:14:17,138 That was me that done that. But it ain't enough, so here's this. 253 00:14:17,205 --> 00:14:19,974 That's what you get for, uh, I don't know, messing with my wife. 254 00:14:20,041 --> 00:14:21,676 And it goes on. 255 00:14:25,513 --> 00:14:29,049 Damn that Brockman! There are only two rules in TV: 256 00:14:29,117 --> 00:14:33,137 don't swear, and don't whip it out. It's not rocket science. 257 00:14:35,424 --> 00:14:36,807 Kent, can we talk? 258 00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:38,191 I'm not fired, am I? 259 00:14:38,259 --> 00:14:41,745 No, no, this station stands by its reporters. 260 00:14:41,813 --> 00:14:44,832 Say, what's that powder in your coffee? Is it cocaine? 261 00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:46,266 No, it's Splenda. 262 00:14:46,334 --> 00:14:49,837 Spare me your slang, pusher man. You're fired! 263 00:15:15,463 --> 00:15:16,763 Haw, haw! 264 00:15:16,831 --> 00:15:18,999 Your distinguished career is over! 265 00:15:33,698 --> 00:15:35,916 Marge, the couch is lumpy! 266 00:15:35,984 --> 00:15:38,118 That's because you're sitting on me, you lummox! 267 00:15:38,186 --> 00:15:39,337 Kent Brockman! 268 00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:41,671 I invited him to stay with us for a few days. 269 00:15:41,739 --> 00:15:43,540 His career is ruined. 270 00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:47,261 And I was afraid he might commit you-know-what-icide. 271 00:15:47,328 --> 00:15:49,713 I'm sorry, Marge, but I won't live under the same roof 272 00:15:49,781 --> 00:15:52,683 as a member of the liberal media. 273 00:15:52,751 --> 00:15:54,351 You'll have to excuse him. 274 00:15:54,419 --> 00:15:57,188 He's been watching a lot of Fox News. 275 00:15:57,190 --> 00:16:00,624 Did you know that every day Mexican gays sneak into this country 276 00:16:00,692 --> 00:16:02,976 and unplug our brain-dead ladies? 277 00:16:04,112 --> 00:16:05,746 We have to take in Mr. Brockman. 278 00:16:05,813 --> 00:16:09,250 He wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't dumped coffee on his lap. 279 00:16:09,317 --> 00:16:11,651 Oh, sure, put down a simple guy like me 280 00:16:11,719 --> 00:16:13,987 who works hard and plays by the rules. 281 00:16:14,055 --> 00:16:15,873 Dad, you barely go to work at all. 282 00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:18,142 And you're constantly flouting the law. 283 00:16:18,209 --> 00:16:20,310 I'm willing to change my mind, and that makes me great. 284 00:16:20,378 --> 00:16:21,361 You can stay. 285 00:16:21,379 --> 00:16:22,946 But you have to give us an 8x10 286 00:16:23,014 --> 00:16:26,150 for our Wall of Casual Acquaintances Who Came to Stay For A While. 287 00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:30,871 Apu sang a song. What are you gonna do? 288 00:16:34,359 --> 00:16:37,794 Can 15 stripper run their own airline? 289 00:16:37,862 --> 00:16:42,133 Find out tonight on Fox's newest reality hit, Landing Strip. 290 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:46,437 Ladies, check out what I can do with the oxygen masks. 291 00:16:47,772 --> 00:16:50,908 What a great show. Real people with real problems. 292 00:16:53,211 --> 00:16:56,646 This is Fox News with the latest liberal outrage. 293 00:16:56,714 --> 00:16:59,216 It seems liberals want to give NASA 294 00:16:59,283 --> 00:17:02,753 the right to abort space missions whenever they feel like it. 295 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,956 Liberals... I hate them so much. 296 00:17:06,024 --> 00:17:07,374 One thing I've always wondered, 297 00:17:07,441 --> 00:17:09,409 how can Fox News be so conservative 298 00:17:09,477 --> 00:17:11,878 when the Fox network keeps airing raunchy shows? 299 00:17:11,946 --> 00:17:12,946 They don't fit together. 300 00:17:13,014 --> 00:17:14,147 Whoo-hoo! 301 00:17:14,215 --> 00:17:15,683 Liberals hate families. 302 00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:16,817 Liberals... 303 00:17:16,885 --> 00:17:17,918 Whoo-hoo! 304 00:17:17,986 --> 00:17:19,086 Liberals. Whoo-hoo! 305 00:17:19,153 --> 00:17:20,420 Liberals. Whoo-hoo! 306 00:17:20,489 --> 00:17:21,989 Liberals. Whoo-hoo! 307 00:17:22,056 --> 00:17:23,824 Liberals. Whoo...! 308 00:17:23,892 --> 00:17:26,360 Fox deliberately runs shows that will earn them huge fines, 309 00:17:26,427 --> 00:17:27,862 which are then funneled through the FCC 310 00:17:27,929 --> 00:17:29,463 straight to the Republican Party. 311 00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:30,480 Everybody in the media knows it, 312 00:17:30,548 --> 00:17:31,782 but no one has the guts to say it. 313 00:17:31,849 --> 00:17:34,835 Not true. You've got the guts, and I've got a web cam. 314 00:17:34,903 --> 00:17:36,587 This time you can tell the truth. 315 00:17:36,654 --> 00:17:39,924 And swear like a lumberjack who hacked off a leg. Let's do it. 316 00:17:39,991 --> 00:17:41,841 ...hoo! 317 00:17:42,410 --> 00:17:43,677 Whoo-hoo? 318 00:17:43,744 --> 00:17:45,011 Liberals? 319 00:17:45,079 --> 00:17:46,313 Whoo-hoo? 320 00:17:51,903 --> 00:17:55,939 Here we go. Four, three, two... 321 00:17:56,007 --> 00:17:58,809 Good evening. Thank you for inviting me into your laps. 322 00:17:58,876 --> 00:18:01,212 Friends, the press and the government are in bed together 323 00:18:01,279 --> 00:18:03,697 in an embrace so intimate and wrong, 324 00:18:03,764 --> 00:18:05,382 they could spoon on a twin mattress 325 00:18:05,450 --> 00:18:07,634 and still have room for Ted Koppel. 326 00:18:07,702 --> 00:18:10,136 Journalists used to question the reasons for war 327 00:18:10,205 --> 00:18:12,172 and expose abuse of power. 328 00:18:12,207 --> 00:18:13,591 Now, like toothless babies, 329 00:18:13,658 --> 00:18:16,660 they suckle on the sugary teat of misinformation 330 00:18:16,728 --> 00:18:20,047 and poop it into the diaper we call the 6:00 news. 331 00:18:20,114 --> 00:18:23,000 Demand more of your government. Demand more of your press. 332 00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:26,419 Fellow primate, this is a wake-up call. 333 00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:32,792 Vote out your so-called representatives. 334 00:18:32,794 --> 00:18:34,394 Reject your corporate masters. 335 00:18:34,462 --> 00:18:37,481 Buy nothing. Hug your children. Love the one you're with. 336 00:18:37,548 --> 00:18:39,016 Look at that rabble-rouser. 337 00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:41,936 He's threatening our ill-gotten gains. 338 00:18:41,938 --> 00:18:45,940 Galdarn it! I worked hard to ill-get those gains. 339 00:18:45,974 --> 00:18:47,958 How do we stop him? 340 00:18:47,976 --> 00:18:49,693 I could Dracula bite him. 341 00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:52,595 Actually, Krusty and I've been working 342 00:18:52,663 --> 00:18:54,231 on a plan to take out Brockman. 343 00:18:54,315 --> 00:18:55,382 You want to start? 344 00:18:55,450 --> 00:18:56,483 No, why don't you start? 345 00:18:56,551 --> 00:18:57,917 Oh, but you're so good at starting. 346 00:18:57,985 --> 00:18:59,486 You really think so? 347 00:18:59,554 --> 00:19:01,722 Oh, I know so. Go on. All right. 348 00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:04,658 Do you think there's something going on between those two? 349 00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:08,929 To find out, I could turn myself into a bat and follow them around. 350 00:19:08,997 --> 00:19:11,615 Oh, you couldn't even get our pizza orders right. 351 00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:15,034 Every order is half this, half that, it's confusing! 352 00:19:18,890 --> 00:19:22,643 Kent, your righteous political commentary rocks. 353 00:19:22,710 --> 00:19:24,978 Yeah, you know how many stars out of five 354 00:19:25,045 --> 00:19:27,231 I gave the YouTube of your webcast? 355 00:19:27,298 --> 00:19:29,816 Five! And I never give five. 356 00:19:29,884 --> 00:19:32,019 It's true, he never does. 357 00:19:32,087 --> 00:19:33,870 Mr. Brockman, you're a huge hit. 358 00:19:33,938 --> 00:19:35,805 Really? How wide is the web? 359 00:19:35,873 --> 00:19:37,173 World. Wow. 360 00:19:39,627 --> 00:19:43,580 Kent, we want to offer you your old job back with a 50% pay increase. 361 00:19:43,648 --> 00:19:44,547 Hmph. 362 00:19:47,685 --> 00:19:49,953 Lisa, close your eyes for two seconds. 363 00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:52,973 One, two... 364 00:19:52,975 --> 00:19:54,391 I held out as long as I could! 365 00:19:58,129 --> 00:20:02,766 I guess there's just no place for truth and bravery in today's media. 366 00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:05,285 True, but there's room for the truth in this household. 367 00:20:06,938 --> 00:20:08,872 Do you want to hear something really bad 368 00:20:08,940 --> 00:20:10,991 Kent told me about the Fox network? 369 00:20:11,058 --> 00:20:14,077 Of course. Gosh, Dad, your hands are shaking. 370 00:20:14,145 --> 00:20:17,531 I know. 'Cause this one's really, really bad. 371 00:20:19,033 --> 00:20:22,302 For years now, Fox has been... 372 00:20:22,370 --> 00:20:25,322 ...programming shows that the whole family can enjoy. 373 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:28,725 Oh, my god! You don't suppose they're gonna start... 374 00:20:28,793 --> 00:20:31,378 ...entertaining America with hits like House, 375 00:20:31,446 --> 00:20:35,348 American Idol and American Idol Results Show. 376 00:20:35,350 --> 00:20:38,251 I'm afraid they might. But I will not be silenced. 377 00:20:38,319 --> 00:20:39,552 The truth is... 378 00:20:46,311 --> 00:20:48,845 Okay. What I was going to say was... 379 00:20:48,913 --> 00:20:50,047 Shh! 380 00:21:39,580 --> 00:21:40,380 Shh!