1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,916 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:14,968 (chalk screeches) 3 00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:19,393 (bell rings) 4 00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,526 (work whistle blows) 5 00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,909 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 6 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:43,419 (jazzy solo) 7 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:47,458 (tires screech) 8 00:00:53,678 --> 00:00:55,178 (tires screeching) 9 00:00:58,641 --> 00:00:59,891 (horn honks) 10 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:02,271 (tires screech) 11 00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,482 D'oh! 12 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,775 -Aah! -(tires screech) 13 00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:23,329 {\an8}MARGE: "Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test"? 14 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:26,876 {\an8}Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand? 15 00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:31,131 {\an8}But Marge, this one came with a free corncob pipe. 16 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:33,676 {\an8}Okay, let's see. 17 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,390 {\an8}"Ahoy, mateys. 18 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:38,060 {\an8}"If the water turns blue, a baby for you. 19 00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:41,269 {\an8}"If purple ye see, no baby thar be." 20 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,851 {\an8}Well, what color is it-- blue or purple? 21 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,647 {\an8}-Pink. -D'oh! 22 00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:49,691 {\an8}"If ye test should fail to a doctor set sail." 23 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:51,896 {\an8}Well, I guess I better go see Dr. Hibbert. 24 00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:53,316 {\an8}Oh, honey, 25 00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:55,374 {\an8}do you really think you're pregnant? 26 00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:58,988 {\an8}Well, I have the same nausea and craving for pancake mix 27 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,537 {\an8}I did with the other kids. 28 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,160 {\an8}Yeah, and I have the same tightness in my chest 29 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,788 {\an8}and profuse sweating I always get. 30 00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:07,294 {\an8}Well, I'll let you know. 31 00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:15,795 {\an8}Hey, Homer, how come mom's going to the doctor? 32 00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:18,045 {\an8}-Is anything wrong? -No, everything's fine. 33 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,218 Your mother, uh... just broke her leg. 34 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:22,306 -What? -I smell a bun in the oven. 35 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:25,562 {\an8}Is Mom going to have another baby, Dad? 36 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:26,685 Maybe. 37 00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:28,021 -Whoa! -Hey, all right! 38 00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:29,316 Way to go! 39 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,279 You're a machine, Homer. 40 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:32,859 Did you hear that, Maggie? 41 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:34,204 Another baby in the house. 42 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,239 Oh, cool. We can race 'em. 43 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,832 Sure, for you, a baby's all fun and games. 44 00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:41,448 For me, it's diaper changes and midnight feedings. 45 00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:42,746 Doesn't Mom do that stuff? 46 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,329 Yeah, but I have to hear about it. 47 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,334 Were you like this when Mom was pregnant with me? 48 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,416 Actually Bart, I threw up more than your mother. 49 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:51,551 It all happened at the beginning of that turbulent decade 50 00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:53,419 known as the '80s. 51 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,546 Those were idealistic days-- 52 00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:58,973 the candidacy of John Anderson, the rise of Supertramp. 53 00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:01,723 It was an exciting time to be young. 54 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,426 {\an8}♪ When I was young ♪ 55 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:07,186 {\an8}♪ It seemed that life was so wonderful ♪ 56 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:09,610 {\an8}For several years I'd been dating your mother 57 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,479 {\an8}and working at the local fun center. 58 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:14,186 Homer, you turn the blades too fast. 59 00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,067 The golfers are complaining. Slow down! 60 00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:19,027 That's better. 61 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:21,325 Ah, beautiful. Keep this up, 62 00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:22,739 and someday you'll be the guy 63 00:03:22,827 --> 00:03:23,997 who hands out the putters. 64 00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:25,498 Yes, sir! 65 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,170 I was 24 years old 66 00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:31,668 with a beautiful girlfriend and a job with a future. 67 00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:36,628 Hey! You're supposed to be listening to my story! 68 00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,216 I thought it was over. 69 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:39,471 You had a problem turning blades. 70 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:40,972 You overcame it. 71 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,724 The feel-good story of the year. 72 00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:43,965 It's not our fault our generation 73 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,017 has short attention spans, Dad. 74 00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:47,640 We watch an appalling amount of TV. 75 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:51,397 Don't you ever, ever, talk that way about television. 76 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:53,071 Lousy, ungrateful 77 00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:56,489 can't-keep-their, what-do-you-call-it... 78 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:59,279 minds on any, uh... 79 00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:02,084 Where do you think you're going? 80 00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:03,828 You're going to listen to my story. 81 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,910 Your mother was living with her two wicked sisters. 82 00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,922 MRS. BOUVIER: Okay, girls, you can smoke now. 83 00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:14,669 Mmm. 84 00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:18,165 Oh, yeah. 85 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,178 (horn honks) 86 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,339 It's Homer! 87 00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:21,676 I don't know what you see 88 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,471 in that ugly meatball. 89 00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:27,354 Uh-huh. If you like being pawed by something fat and lazy, 90 00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:28,773 we could get a cat. 91 00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:31,481 It would leave less hair on the couch. 92 00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:33,522 (laughing) 93 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,476 MARGE: You don't know Homer like I do. 94 00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:37,106 He's sensitive and sweet. 95 00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:38,613 (horn honks) 96 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,945 HOMER: Marge, get your butt out here! 97 00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:42,280 -(honking) -(groans) 98 00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:45,615 {\an8}Homer, do you ever think about the future? 99 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,752 You mean like will apes be our masters? 100 00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:50,789 No, I mean how you plan to earn a living. 101 00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:53,293 I can't imagine that your job of yours is very stimulating. 102 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:54,956 But it gives me time to think. 103 00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:56,594 What do you think about? 104 00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,461 Well, girls. 105 00:04:58,548 --> 00:04:59,588 I mean boys! 106 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:00,684 I mean you. 107 00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:02,468 I think about you too. 108 00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:09,177 Wow, what an ending. 109 00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:10,557 Who would have thought 110 00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,943 Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father? 111 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,401 (clamoring) 112 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,400 Well, thank you, Mr. Blow-The-Picture-for-Me. 113 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,282 Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leia 114 00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:20,279 and as smart as Yoda. 115 00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:21,651 Oh, Homer. 116 00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,358 -Mmm. -Mmm. 117 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:28,618 ♪ You light up my days ♪ 118 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:33,293 ♪ And fill my nights ♪ 119 00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:37,424 ♪ With song ♪ 120 00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:41,883 ♪ It can't be wrong ♪ 121 00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:45,426 ♪ When it feels so good ♪ 122 00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:47,891 -♪ Right ♪ -♪ Right ♪ 123 00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:49,022 (giggling) 124 00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:51,598 ♪ 'Cause you... ♪ 125 00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:54,774 -You. -No, you. 126 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,564 (smooching) 127 00:05:56,647 --> 00:06:03,447 ♪ You light up my life ♪ 128 00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:05,029 Our song. 129 00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:07,534 I bet the guy she was singing that about 130 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,617 was real happy. 131 00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:12,122 Actually, she was singing about God. 132 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,365 Oh, well, he's always happy. 133 00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,537 No, wait, he's always mad. 134 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:19,246 Someday I'll buy you a real castle. 135 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:21,297 You don't have to do that. 136 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,801 Whoo, good. 137 00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:26,722 Homer, maybe it's the Champale talking, 138 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,473 but I think you're pretty sexy. 139 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:30,765 Really? 140 00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:33,518 It must be the Champale talking. 141 00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:36,191 MARGE: Oh, Homer, what if we get caught? 142 00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:37,980 HOMER: Don't worry. 143 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,774 This castle is impregnable. 144 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:45,280 (alarms and buzzers sound) 145 00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,243 Pass the cookie dough. 146 00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,123 MAN (on TV): Dust off your hula skirts, Angels. 147 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,620 I'm afraid there's been a murder. In Hawaii. 148 00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:53,623 WOMAN: Hawaii it is, Charlie. 149 00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:57,254 (barking and howling) 150 00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:58,753 (phone rings) 151 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:01,045 Hello? Oh, hi, Marge. 152 00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:03,459 I need you to drive me to the doctor, Homer. 153 00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:04,468 Why, what's wrong? 154 00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:05,679 Well... 155 00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:07,928 that unforgettable night we... 156 00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:09,640 joined The Castle Club. 157 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,390 Oh... 158 00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:15,102 Well, Miss Bouvier. 159 00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:16,774 I think we found the reason 160 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,693 why you've been throwing up in the morning. 161 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,401 Congratulations. 162 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:23,071 (echoing) D'oh! 163 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,531 Poor guy. 164 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,820 Perhaps this pamphlet will prove helpful. 165 00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:29,204 MARGE: "So you've ruined your life." 166 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,452 Mmm. 167 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,493 Son, you've got to marry that girl. 168 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:34,247 Because it's the honorable thing to do? 169 00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:36,578 No! Because you'll never do any better. 170 00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:38,714 (giggling) You lucky bum. 171 00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,921 The fish jumped right in the boat. 172 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:44,382 All you got to do is whack her with the oar. 173 00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:49,264 Marge, there's something I want to ask you 174 00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:51,553 but I'm afraid because if you say "no" 175 00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:53,347 it'll destroy me and make me a criminal. 176 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:56,851 Well, I haven't said "no" to you lately, have I? 177 00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:58,444 Marge, I... 178 00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:00,349 Damn it, where's that card? 179 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:01,768 What card? 180 00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:04,436 I wrote down what I was gonna say on a card. 181 00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:08,815 Stupid thing must have fallen out of my pocket. 182 00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,195 -(grunting) -(horn honks) 183 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,491 -Is this it? -What's it say? 184 00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:15,405 "Marge, from the first moment I saw you 185 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:18,405 "I never wanted to be with anyone else. 186 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:22,958 "I don't have much to offer you except all my love. 187 00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:25,424 Will you marry me?" 188 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:26,415 That's the card. Give it here. 189 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,086 Oh, Homer... 190 00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:31,974 This is the most beautiful moment of my life. 191 00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:34,143 So, will you marry me? 192 00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:36,853 Yes! 193 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,393 Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! 194 00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:40,646 Yeah, she's gonna marry me! 195 00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:42,478 In your face, everybody! 196 00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:43,983 -Whoo-hoo! -(car horn blares) 197 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,494 Dad, if the new baby is a girl, 198 00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:51,740 can we name her Ariel? 199 00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:53,702 I'm sorry, the baby's name will be 200 00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,083 Kool Moe Dee Simpson. 201 00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:56,449 -Ariel. -Kool Moe Dee. 202 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,706 -Ariel. -Kool Moe Dee. 203 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,119 You know, I had this very same discussion 204 00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,538 with your mother ten years ago. 205 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:07,802 MARGE: Homer, I've been thinking. 206 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,130 If the baby's a boy, 207 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,415 what do you think of the name Larry? 208 00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:11,798 Marge! We can't do that. 209 00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:14,264 All the kids will call him Larry Fairy. 210 00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,095 Well, how about Louis? 211 00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:17,430 They'll call him Screwy Louie. 212 00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:18,425 -Bob? -Slob. 213 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:19,426 -Luke? -Puke. 214 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:20,807 -Marcus? -Mucous. 215 00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:21,943 What about Bart? 216 00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:23,099 Let's see... 217 00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:25,517 Bart, cart, dart, eeyart... 218 00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:28,686 Nope. Can't see any problem with that. 219 00:09:28,776 --> 00:09:30,896 Wow. I'll take that ring. 220 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:33,447 Yes, sir. And how will you be paying for it? 221 00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:34,701 I don't know. 222 00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:37,542 HOMER: Finally, the big day came. 223 00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:39,118 We didn't have much money 224 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,663 so we went to a quaint little chapel 225 00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,617 just across the state line. 226 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,552 WOMAN: Basic ceremony is 20 bucks. 227 00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:49,919 Here's your license. 228 00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:51,666 Be sure to get this punched every time. 229 00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:53,797 The tenth wedding is on the house. 230 00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:55,724 Hey, this marriage is gonna last forever. 231 00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:57,893 No matter how many times I hear that 232 00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,642 it always makes me laugh. 233 00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:04,734 Cletus, do you take Aileen to be your lawful wedded wife? 234 00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:06,942 -Yup. -Done. Next. 235 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:12,573 ♪♪ (cheesy keyboard playing "Here Comes the Bride") 236 00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:13,823 There certainly are 237 00:10:13,904 --> 00:10:15,114 a lot of stains on the ceiling. 238 00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:16,317 Marge, I'm sorry. 239 00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:18,867 I wish I could afford a better place. 240 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:20,871 Homer, I'd be lying if I said 241 00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:23,753 that this is how I pictured my wedding day, 242 00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:26,211 but you are how I pictured my husband. 243 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,542 -I am? -Well, you may not look 244 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,668 like Ted Bessell but you're just as nice. 245 00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:33,586 Ohhh. 246 00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:36,554 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God 247 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,216 and this casino to join... 248 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,434 -Homer. -and... 249 00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:40,603 Marge. 250 00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:44,731 In holy matrimony. Beautiful. 251 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:47,560 Do you, Marjorie Bouvier, take Homer J. Simpson 252 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,607 to be your lawful wedded husband? 253 00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:49,979 I do. 254 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,026 Homer, same question, names reversed. 255 00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:52,818 I do. 256 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:55,362 Then, by the power vested in me by the state gaming commission 257 00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:56,906 I pronounce you man and wife. 258 00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:58,909 Here's $10 worth of chips. 259 00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:00,491 You may kiss the bride. 260 00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:01,576 Next! 261 00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:07,119 Mmm. What a perfect day. 262 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:08,708 (sighs) 263 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:12,133 Our first night together as man and wife. 264 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,473 Mmm... 265 00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:18,088 PATTY: Hey, love birds, keep it down. 266 00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:22,930 Look what I got, Marge. A baby monitor. 267 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,595 Baby to Marge. Baby to Marge. 268 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,805 Wah! Wah! Over. 269 00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:30,395 Homer, I don't know how we can afford all these things 270 00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:33,481 on your salary. 271 00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:35,987 Hey, why don't I apply at the nuclear power plant? 272 00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,950 I hear they pay pretty well. 273 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,370 I don't know. 274 00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:41,278 I heard radiation can make you sterile. 275 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:42,737 Now you tell me. 276 00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,788 We only have two openings 277 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:48,963 so I'm afraid one of you 278 00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:50,711 will have to go home empty-handed-- 279 00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,883 (sighs) but it won't be my old frat buddy 280 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,303 Lou Collier. 281 00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,551 How you doing, you old Alpha Tau? 282 00:11:57,633 --> 00:12:00,343 Smithers, you keg-meister, you. 283 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,808 BOTH: Uh-huh-huh, hey. 284 00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:05,888 Well, hey, I'm from the Alabama chapter. 285 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,935 Well, I'll be. 286 00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:09,518 (laughing) 287 00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:11,523 Oh well. Let's get on with the testing. 288 00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:16,485 ♪ Roll on, roll on, Alpha Tau ♪ 289 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,529 ♪ Tau... ♪ 290 00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:19,031 ♪ Bow-wow-wow-wow ♪ 291 00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:20,613 ♪ Bow-wow-wow-wow... ♪ 292 00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:27,414 If I didn't know better, 293 00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:29,666 I'd swear he was trying to moon us. 294 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,039 What would each of you say is your worst quality? 295 00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,666 Well, I am a workaholic. 296 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,213 I push myself too hard. 297 00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:38,046 Well, it takes me a long time to learn anything. 298 00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:40,342 -I'm kind of a goof-off-- -Okay, that will do. 299 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:41,796 Little stuff starts disappearing 300 00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,346 -from the workplace... -That's enough! 301 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:44,969 Next, there's a problem with the reactor. 302 00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:46,515 What do you do? 303 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:47,979 There's a problem with the reactor?! 304 00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:49,518 We're all gonna die! 305 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:52,352 (screaming) 306 00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:55,478 MARGE: Mmm... mmm... 307 00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:56,526 Did you get the job? 308 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,649 Nah, they wanted someone good. 309 00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:00,606 Story of my life. 310 00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:02,446 Oh, Homie. 311 00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:05,661 Hey, come over here and feel our baby kicking. 312 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:07,663 Wow. 313 00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,655 Kid, I won't let you down. 314 00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:12,207 I swear to you. When you come out of there 315 00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:13,711 the first thing you're gonna see 316 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,963 is a man with a good job. 317 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,705 Yeah. The doctor. 318 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,007 (laughing) 319 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:21,800 ♪ Working 9 to 5 ♪ 320 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:25,104 ♪ What a way to make a living ♪ 321 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:28,679 And when ye tallow hardens, we remove it from yon mold. 322 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:31,773 (sobbing) 323 00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:34,062 What a crappy candle. 324 00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:36,016 You've ruined our vacation. 325 00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:39,526 You, gentle sir, are fired. 326 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:41,200 Oh! 327 00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:43,658 ♪ Barely gettin' by ♪ 328 00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:45,739 ♪ It's all taking and no giving ♪ 329 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,735 Oh, hello, young man. 330 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,537 Good evening, Madam. 331 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,540 You have been selected by the good people of Slashco 332 00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:52,922 to reap the benefits 333 00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,208 of their new never-dull knife edge. 334 00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:57,922 Here. Shake hands with the Slashco. 335 00:13:58,003 --> 00:13:59,463 (screaming) 336 00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,007 Handle first, handle first. 337 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,050 ♪ They just use your mind ♪ 338 00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:04,973 ♪ And they never give you credit ♪ 339 00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:07,102 Hmm. 340 00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:08,559 (screaming) 341 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,429 I quit! I quit! 342 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,436 I thought you said you liked dogs. 343 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:18,939 ♪ It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it ♪ 344 00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:22,034 Hey! Who wants to get rich today? 345 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,651 -ALL: Me! Me! -Me! 346 00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:25,867 Me! Me! Me! I said it first. 347 00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:28,698 First, let me assure you that this is not 348 00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:29,914 one of those shady pyramid schemes 349 00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:31,664 you've been hearing about. 350 00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:34,115 No sir. Our model is the trapezoid 351 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,666 that guarantees each investor an 800% return 352 00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:39,590 -within hours of your initial-- -(siren blaring) 353 00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:40,920 Uh-oh! The cops! 354 00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:43,632 "Fourth notice." 355 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,006 "90 days overdue." 356 00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:47,933 "We break thumbs." 357 00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:49,682 Homer, what are we going to do? 358 00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:52,273 -(doorbell rings) -I don't know. I don't know. 359 00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:55,639 Repo man. I'm here for the baby's things. 360 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,228 Crib, mobile, monitor-- 361 00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,773 Oh, and the lady's ring, I'm afraid. 362 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:00,977 (gasps) 363 00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,986 Oh, dear. 364 00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:06,448 Repossessing stuff is the hardest part of my job. 365 00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:16,537 Dear Marge, 366 00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:19,004 By the time you read this, I will be gone. 367 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,464 You deserve all the finest things in the world, 368 00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:23,165 and although I can give them to you, 369 00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:25,005 they will be repossessed 370 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,510 and I will be hunted down like a dog. 371 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,263 Also, it has become clear 372 00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,805 that your family doesn't want me here. 373 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:34,889 MRS. BOUVIER: Shut up with that pen scratching down there. 374 00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:38,725 I will send you every cent I earn for the baby 375 00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:43,152 but you will not see me again until I am a man. 376 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:54,906 (sobbing) 377 00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:57,155 That is so sad. 378 00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:59,117 Oh, come on, honey. 379 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,708 You know how it turns out. 380 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:03,303 After all, you wouldn't be here today 381 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:04,629 if I hadn't become 382 00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:05,923 the responsible head of a household. 383 00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:07,166 Hey Homer, 384 00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:09,717 can we have a can of frosting for lunch? 385 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:10,722 Okay. 386 00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,931 "You will not see me again until I am a man." 387 00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:19,227 (sobbing) 388 00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:20,521 Oh, Homer... 389 00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:22,944 Homer! 390 00:16:23,023 --> 00:16:25,823 There, there, dear. We're all in shock. 391 00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:28,201 I thought he'd two-time you for a while first. 392 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,952 (gagging and choking) 393 00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:37,075 This taco is full of hair. 394 00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:38,162 Uh-huh. 395 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,117 There's your explanation. 396 00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:43,542 (loud slurping) 397 00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:46,047 -Ahhhh! -Shall we tell Marge where he is? 398 00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:48,720 Nah, let her read about it in the society page. 399 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,677 Homer?! Oh... 400 00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:55,932 Marge, listen, we just saw-- 401 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,055 -Don't be stupid. -(grunts) 402 00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:06,067 HOMER: Dear Marge, XXX 403 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,030 Homer. 404 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:13,950 Big shots with their stainless steel lunch boxes. 405 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,237 (honks horn) 406 00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:18,327 (gasps) 407 00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:20,082 They get doughnuts! 408 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,294 That's right. 409 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,213 All the colors of the rainbow. 410 00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:25,424 Wow. 411 00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:29,469 Marge, what are you doing up? 412 00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,008 You need your rest, dear. 413 00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:34,721 I heard a noise outside, and thought it might be Homer. 414 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:37,013 Ay! What the hell. 415 00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:39,677 Marge, I've got 2 1/2 words for you. 416 00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,597 Gulp 'n Blow. 417 00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:45,055 Yeah, what do you want? 418 00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:47,437 My husband by my side. 419 00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:49,194 You want fries with that? 420 00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:50,186 Homer?! 421 00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:51,237 Marge?! 422 00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:54,704 -Homer! -Marge! 423 00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:59,235 Holy cow, you're as big as a house! 424 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:02,288 Homer, come home with me. 425 00:18:02,372 --> 00:18:04,922 No, Marge, I just can't. 426 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,840 I mean, look at me. I'm a trainee. 427 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,760 They won't even tell me what's in the secret sauce. 428 00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:12,419 And I can't buy you a decent wedding ring. 429 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:16,138 Any ring is fine, as long as it's from you. 430 00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:20,807 Marge... 431 00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:22,561 Pour vous. 432 00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,653 Oh! 433 00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:28,654 Would you mind if I took it off now? 434 00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:30,482 The oil is burning my finger. 435 00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:31,487 Oh, sure. 436 00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:36,621 Homer, do you know why I married you? 437 00:18:36,698 --> 00:18:37,828 'Cause I knocked you up? 438 00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:40,948 No, because I love you. 439 00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:43,499 Come home soon. 440 00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:49,382 (growling) 441 00:19:00,055 --> 00:19:01,385 MR. BURNS: That's it... 442 00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,483 That's it... come closer... 443 00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:08,186 (laughing wickedly) 444 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:09,572 Ironic, isn't it? 445 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:11,318 The hunter has become the hunted. 446 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,610 (laughing) 447 00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:16,033 Oh, God, Smithers I feel so alive! 448 00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:17,363 You the boss? 449 00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:19,197 -Yes. -I'll call security, sir. 450 00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:20,583 Well, listen to me, Mr. Big Shot, 451 00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:22,699 if you're looking for the kind of employee 452 00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:25,406 who takes abuse and never sticks up for himself, 453 00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:26,747 I'm your man! 454 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,632 You can treat me like dirt and 455 00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:31,419 I'll still kiss your butt and call it ice cream! 456 00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:34,423 And if you don't like it, I can change! 457 00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,676 Hold the phone, Smithers. 458 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,136 I like your attitude. 459 00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:40,849 Feisty, yet spineless. 460 00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:42,639 Sir, this man not only failed the aptitude test 461 00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:45,273 he got trapped in a closet on his way out. 462 00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:47,850 I don't care. I haven't been this impressed 463 00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:49,976 since I first laid eyes on a young bootlick 464 00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:51,323 named Wayland Smithers. 465 00:19:51,398 --> 00:19:53,858 -You mean...? -Welcome aboard, son. 466 00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:55,902 I got the job. I got the job! 467 00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:57,196 Whoo hoo! 468 00:19:57,279 --> 00:20:00,119 Only in America could I get a job. 469 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,949 Who was that young hellcat, Smithers? 470 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:04,084 -Homer Simpson, sir. -Simpson, eh? 471 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,291 I'll remember that name. 472 00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:07,461 Marge, Marge! 473 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:08,499 You're a little late. 474 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:10,292 She's gone to the hospital. 475 00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:11,585 The hospital?! 476 00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:12,918 I'll drive you. 477 00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:14,213 Thanks, Mom. 478 00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:16,166 Don't ever call me that. 479 00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:18,216 Marge! Marge, where's the baby? 480 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,470 Right where you left it. 481 00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:21,391 -Shut up. -Hey listen, fat boy-- 482 00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:22,720 No, you listen. 483 00:20:22,804 --> 00:20:24,394 This is my wife, and this is my kid, 484 00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,313 and I'm paying for this delivery. 485 00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:27,481 So if you wanna stay 486 00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:28,889 you better give me some respect. 487 00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:30,767 Homer, does this mean...? 488 00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:33,194 Starting tomorrow, I'm a nuclear technician! 489 00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:34,783 Good God! 490 00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:36,858 And tomorrow morning, I'm gonna buy your ring back, 491 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:38,364 then I'm going house hunting. 492 00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:40,235 Doesn't your job start tomorrow? 493 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:42,122 Somebody will cover for me. 494 00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:43,869 Homer, that's-- Oh! 495 00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:44,871 Step aside. 496 00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,502 I'll deliver this baby. 497 00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,658 Why don't you let me handle it, Homer. 498 00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:50,577 Oh, a college boy, eh? 499 00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:53,206 Homer, for God sakes, let him deliver the baby! 500 00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:56,553 Homie, isn't he beautiful? 501 00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:59,010 Hey, as long as he's got eight fingers 502 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,641 and eight toes, he's fine by me. 503 00:21:01,718 --> 00:21:02,638 Oh, Bart! 504 00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:04,009 Daddy's little angel. 505 00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:06,008 Ah! 506 00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:09,807 Why, you little--! 507 00:21:09,893 --> 00:21:11,483 He did that on purpose! 508 00:21:11,561 --> 00:21:14,611 How could he? He's only ten minutes old. 509 00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:19,950 Bart, Lisa, come here for a minute. 510 00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:22,738 You know, son, the day you were born 511 00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:25,743 I received the greatest gift a man could have. 512 00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:27,576 As the years went by, 513 00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:30,001 your mother and I were blessed twice more, 514 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,710 and not a day goes by that 515 00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:34,840 we don't thank God for all three of you. 516 00:21:34,918 --> 00:21:36,748 Homer! I'm not pregnant! 517 00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:40,167 Yeah! Whoa! Excellent, Marge! 518 00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:41,127 Yes! 519 00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:48,811 ♪♪ 520 00:22:50,118 --> 00:22:51,038 Shh! 521 00:22:54,581 --> 00:22:57,461 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.