1
00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:06,548
♪ The Simpsons ♪

2
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,203
D'

3
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,539
Aah!

4
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:01,770
Hey, Homer, it's Barney.
Did I wake you?

5
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,897
I'm up, I'm up. Whadda ya want?

6
00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:06,733
All I wanted to tell you about
was this new barbecue joint.

7
00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:08,193
Ooh, barbecue!

8
00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:11,738
It's called Greasy Joe's
Bottomless Bar-B-Q Pit.

9
00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:15,617
Ooh, I can still taste the sauce
between my fingers.

10
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And are you ready for this?
It's all you can eat!

11
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This is like
some beautiful dream.

12
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And one and two
and three and reach.

13
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- And five and six...
- Marge, honey,

14
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I got five words to say to you.

15
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:34,427
Greasy Joe's
Bottomless Bar-B-Q Pit.

16
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,805
Homer, remember you promised

17
00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:39,140
you'd try to limit pork
to six servings a week.

18
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Marge, I'm only human.

19
00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:43,645
Now look. Here's what
we're gonna do.

20
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We'll unload the kids
on Patty and Selma

21
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Saturday night,
and then we'll eat

22
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until they kick us
out of the place.

23
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Just like old times.

24
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Saturday night?

25
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I'm not even sure my sisters
will be available.

26
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I'll take that bet.

27
00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:04,958
Hello, Marge.
This Saturday?

28
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:07,544
We're going to
Stanley Peterson's wedding.

29
00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,212
The way he's going at her,

30
00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:11,464
you'd think
they were already married.

31
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Hey, alley cats!

32
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Save it for the honeymoon.

33
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Well, if you have other plans...

34
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- D'
-It's no problem.

35
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We'll beat it before
they throw out the bouquet.

36
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"F," "L..."

37
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,522
No, I'm sorry.

38
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That's a "C," isn't it?

39
00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:31,109
If that was an oncoming vehicle

40
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you'd be dead now.

41
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- Next!
- But driving is my livelihood.

42
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Take it like a man.

43
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:41,661
Friends, relatives...

44
00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:43,913
work-related acquaintances...

45
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,958
we are gathered here today

46
00:02:47,041 --> 00:02:50,211
to join Stanley and Martha
in holy matrimony.

47
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,838
Martha, my dear,

48
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:55,175
I remember the first day
that I met you.

49
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:59,012
Hello, Selma.

50
00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:02,432
Hello, Stanley.

51
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:04,142
- Is this seat taken?
- Yes, it is.

52
00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:06,019
Hey, beat it!

53
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:14,652
Had I not chosen the seat that
was next to you, Martha, my love,

54
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,988
who knows what woman
I might have ended up with.

55
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,827
♪ Brandy, you're a fine girl ♪

56
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♪ What a good wife
you would be ♪

57
00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:31,878
♪ But my life, my love
and my lady is the sea ♪

58
00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:33,504
Poor Brandy.

59
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:37,091
Aunt Selma, do you think
you'll ever get married?

60
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,802
I don't know.
Why? You know somebody?

61
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,472
No, and since I'm sure
that you'd only resent

62
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:43,949
the pity of an eight year-old niece,

63
00:03:43,973 --> 00:03:47,101
I'll simply hope that you're one of
the statistically insignificant number

64
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:50,813
of 40-year-old, single women
who ever find their fair prince.

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00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:02,659
Patty, Selma, we're home.

66
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,285
Yeah.

67
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,583
I'll tell you one thing.

68
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,378
Greasy Joe is sorry
he ever saw the likes of me.

69
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:16,381
Marge, I need
to speak with you alone.

70
00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:22,512
And that sauce, Barney...

71
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:25,265
I could have drunk a bowl
of it by itself.

72
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:28,476
Barney,
that's just my sister-in-law.

73
00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:30,270
I'll get right to the point.

74
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,897
I'm getting older,
fatter and uglier.

75
00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:36,067
Please, Marge,
help me find a man

76
00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:38,611
before it's too late.

77
00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,530
Well, I'll try.

78
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:47,287
Homer, do you remember
our last family vacation

79
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,664
when you made us go
to the Bowlers Hall of Fame

80
00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:52,000
in St. Louis, Missouri
so you could see that car

81
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,127
shaped like a giant bowling pin?

82
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,212
Remember?
Who could forget?

83
00:04:56,296 --> 00:05:00,341
Then you'll also remember
that you owe me a favor

84
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,760
to be called up whenever
and for whatever reason

85
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,304
I desire.

86
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,764
But that was just
an idle promise.

87
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:08,808
Not to me.

88
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:12,979
I want you to find a husband
for my sister, Selma.

89
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,731
Find a husband?

90
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,649
Wait. Which one's Selma again?

91
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,319
She's the one who likes
Police Academy movies

92
00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:21,446
and Hummel figurines

93
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,740
and walking through the park
on clear autumn days.

94
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,159
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I thought she was the one

95
00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:28,870
that didn't like to be,
you know, touched.

96
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:31,414
It's Patty who chose
the life of celibacy.

97
00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:33,750
Selma simply had celibacy
thrust upon her.

98
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:38,171
- But, Marge...
- Homer, you will find her a man!

99
00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:40,173
- All right.
- And not just any man.

100
00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:44,052
- Okay.
- He should be honest and caring

101
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:46,471
and well-off and handsome...

102
00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:49,432
Hey, why should she have
a better husband than you do?

103
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:51,893
Sodium tetra sulfate is highly caustic

104
00:05:51,976 --> 00:05:53,311
and can remove your skin.

105
00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:56,606
- Say when.
- That will do.

106
00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:58,608
What's this stuff for?

107
00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:00,544
It's chiefly used in
the manufacture of rayons, film,

108
00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:02,862
and as a preservative
in fast foods.

109
00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:05,948
- It's also quite a potent herbicide.
- What's a herbicide?

110
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:10,370
- It kills grass.
- Excellent.

111
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:12,830
Must find man.

112
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:15,708
Must find man.

113
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,627
Must find man.

114
00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:32,683
Boy, a good man
really is hard to find.

115
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:37,730
Gentlemen, according
to my sources, you are planning

116
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,233
to simultaneously
drop your pencils

117
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:41,692
at 2:15 this afternoon.

118
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Do so,
and you will be suspended.

119
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,697
Hey, who squealed?

120
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:48,425
You can't get anything
past Principal Skinner.

121
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:49,534
He knows everything.

122
00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:51,661
Vandalism fans,
hold onto your hats.

123
00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,353
Who does he think he is, anyway?

124
00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:00,687
He's not going
to get away with that.

125
00:07:00,711 --> 00:07:01,855
Sometimes that kid just
goes too far.

126
00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:05,258
One seafood burrito, Apu.

127
00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:13,349
I am loathe to interrupt
your meditation, sir,

128
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,601
but the time has come
for money to change hands.

129
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:16,727
Sorry.

130
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:35,913
Say what they will
about our cafeteria,

131
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:39,876
I still think they're the best
Tater Tots money can buy.

132
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,548
Wait a minute.

133
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:47,133
It smells like...

134
00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:51,387
sodium tetra sulfate
bonding with chlorophyll.

135
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:06,402
Sweet Lord, it is!

136
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,237
Simpson!

137
00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:12,825
Bart, I'm flabbergasted.

138
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:14,994
Surely, you knew, as you
were writing your own name

139
00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:16,477
in 40-foot high
letters on the field

140
00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:18,039
that you would be caught.

141
00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:19,475
Maybe it was one of
the other Barts, sir.

142
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,459
There are no other Barts!

143
00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:23,794
The sheer contempt
demonstrated by this incident

144
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:26,047
makes me wish I could pull

145
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:28,549
the trusty Board of Education
out of retirement.

146
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:29,967
Call your father immediately.

147
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,639
- Hello, is Homer there?
- Homer, who?

148
00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:36,849
Homer... sexual.

149
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,769
Wait one second.
Let me check.

150
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:42,772
Homer Sexual?

151
00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,315
Come on, come on.

152
00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:46,567
One of you guys has got
to be Homer Sexual.

153
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:49,403
Don't look at me.

154
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:52,281
No!
You rotten little punk.

155
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,408
If I ever get a hold of you,

156
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:57,411
I'll sink my teeth into your cheek
and rip your face off!

157
00:08:57,495 --> 00:09:01,082
- You'll do what, young man?
- What, what, wait. Who is this?

158
00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:03,810
I think the real question is who is this
and where is Homer Simpson?

159
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:06,587
Whoa, whoa, sorry,
Principal Skinner, sorry.

160
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:09,131
It's a bad connection, I think.

161
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,050
It's for you.
I think Bart's in trouble again.

162
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:13,553
D'What's he done now?

163
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:16,806
Well, I'm afraid this time the victims
are the innocent blades of grass

164
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:19,892
on Grounds Keeper Willy's
award-winning play field.

165
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:23,938
If it's alright with you. I'd like to
have Bart repay his debt to society

166
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:26,107
through back-breaking
physical labor...

167
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:28,442
Resodding the field manually,

168
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:30,486
seed by seed.

169
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,711
But enough about Bart.

170
00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:49,046
Tell me, Principal Skinner,
are you married?

171
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,798
Only to my job.

172
00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:52,234
But if you weren't married
to your job,

173
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,718
you tend to go for a girl,
right?

174
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:56,637
Well, of course.

175
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:59,557
These pads come off at night
just like everybody else's.

176
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,726
But tell me,
why all the questions?

177
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:03,811
No reason.

178
00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:06,188
I was just wondering

179
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:11,986
if you'd like to come
over to my house for dinner.

180
00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:14,030
A payback for all
the crummy things

181
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:15,740
Bart has done to your school.

182
00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:20,077
Well, a home-cooked meal
would be a nice change of pace.

183
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:22,747
- I'd be delighted.
- Excellent.

184
00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:32,506
Good evening, Principal Skinner,

185
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:35,217
- and welcome to our home.
- Thank you, Bart.

186
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,553
I only hope that
for the next few hours

187
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,181
you and I can leave our
differences in the school yard.

188
00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:42,266
Fine. Just get inside already.

189
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,268
He's here.

190
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,187
What are you waiting for?

191
00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:48,648
Get out there and shake
your moneymaker.

192
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,108
- I'm too nervous. You do it.
- No, you do it.

193
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:52,461
- No, you do it.
- No, you do it.

194
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,778
No, you do it.

195
00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:55,488
You know, Simpson, I... I had

196
00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:57,615
a discomforting thought
on the way over here.

197
00:10:57,698 --> 00:11:00,660
This dinner wouldn't be
a master plan of yours

198
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:03,621
to set me up with some
unmarried relation, would it?

199
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:05,456
Because I can assure you
that I...

200
00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:08,501
I...

201
00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:11,504
Be still, my foolish heart.

202
00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:13,339
Here we go.

203
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:16,592
Boy meets beast.

204
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,469
Principal Skinner,

205
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:20,304
allow me to introduce you

206
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:22,223
to my wife's lovely

207
00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:23,891
and available sister, Selma.

208
00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:25,059
Hey, tubs, I'm Patty.

209
00:11:25,142 --> 00:11:27,478
- What?
- Patty.

210
00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:29,313
D'Wrong one.

211
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:32,608
So, Patty, tell me...

212
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,944
tell me more
about your trip to Egypt.

213
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:38,489
Nothing more to tell, really.
The Nile smells like cattle rot,

214
00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:40,550
and they've got horseflies over there
the size of your head.

215
00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:41,784
Marvelous.

216
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,160
Just marvelous.

217
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:44,870
Well, Selma hated Egypt too.

218
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:47,081
A camel spit on her.

219
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:48,958
Yes, I've heard they
can be difficult.

220
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:51,293
Patty, the Parents
Advisory Board has asked

221
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,129
that I attend the premiere

222
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,673
of Space Mutants, Part V
tomorrow night.

223
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:59,635
Would you be interested in joining me?

224
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,138
- I don't really...
- She'd be delighted.

225
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:03,973
- I'm going to cancel.
- No, you're not.

226
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:05,808
We already have plans
for tomorrow night.

227
00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:07,643
Patty, your first date
in 25 years

228
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,646
is a little more important
than playing hearts with mother.

229
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,149
I tried to repel him,
I really did.

230
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:16,193
Pack of Lady Laramie 100's,
please.

231
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:19,363
We both know it could have
easily been me. Very easily.

232
00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:21,991
Laramie Hi-Tars hard pack,
and I don't have all day.

233
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:24,660
Here you go.
Smoke them in good health.

234
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,163
And will you be needing
any lottery tickets with that?

235
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:29,498
No. All right, five.

236
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,876
Stupid Principal Skinner.

237
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:34,170
You've got to be kidding me.

238
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:36,213
Save your strength, lad.

239
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:39,008
There's a whole field
for you to resod yet.

240
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:42,219
- D'
-Bart, you wouldn't happen to know

241
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,804
what sort of candy

242
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,098
your Aunt Patty likes,
would you?

243
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:48,851
- Cherry cordials, sir.
- Very good.

244
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:51,812
Now then,
regarding your punishment...

245
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:55,107
Do you feel that you've
learned your lesson?

246
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:58,235
Have I ever. Just the thought
of doing anything bad again

247
00:12:58,319 --> 00:12:59,779
makes my stomach turn.

248
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:02,948
Well, then you're free to go.

249
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,658
Well, Willy, you can take it
from here.

250
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:06,994
- Adios, dude.
- You'll be back!

251
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:09,288
You haven't seen
the last of Willy.

252
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:16,212
I don't see why
all this is necessary.

253
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:19,590
Come on, Patty, you don't want
to show up for your big date

254
00:13:19,673 --> 00:13:21,717
looking like Yosemite Sam.

255
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,928
How do I look?

256
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:28,557
Achingly beautiful.

257
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,227
♪ Two and two are four ♪

258
00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:35,231
♪ Four and four are eight ♪

259
00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:37,983
♪ Eight and eight are 16 ♪

260
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:40,945
- Hello.
- Cherry cordials.

261
00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:42,822
I hope you like them.

262
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,281
Yeah, I like them okay.

263
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,242
So, come on,
let's get this over with.

264
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,452
Excellent suggestion.
I suggest we start

265
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:50,704
with the Springfield
revolving restaurant.

266
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:55,334
You know, food tastes better
when you're revolving.

267
00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:57,461
Yeah, right.

268
00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:59,397
Well, I must say, so far, the evening
is a big disappointment.

269
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:02,383
Indeed. Truly terrible.

270
00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:05,427
Hey, can we get some service
over here?

271
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,763
I've asked for water
three times now.

272
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,765
- Is everything all right?
- Well, well, well.

273
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,559
If it isn't
little Jimmy Pierson.

274
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:13,352
Class of '71, I believe.

275
00:14:13,435 --> 00:14:15,062
Good evening, Principal Skinner.

276
00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:17,523
Pierson, get this woman
a glass of water immediately.

277
00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:19,650
- And tuck in your shirt!
- Yes, sir.

278
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:21,861
Nearly 30

279
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:23,696
and still working as a bus boy.

280
00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:25,489
I'll tell you

281
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:26,973
the standardized testing
never lies.

282
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,452
Doesn't surprise me.

283
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,329
She's always been the lucky one.

284
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:33,789
Two minutes younger.

285
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:37,585
Skin like a china doll
and bosoms till Tuesday.

286
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:39,211
Well, don't worry.

287
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:42,006
There's still plenty
of fish in the sea.

288
00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:45,718
- Right, Homer?
- Yes, plenty of fish.

289
00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:48,262
You just don't have any bait.

290
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:53,934
What a shame.
Out of gas.

291
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:00,774
Don't be stupid.

292
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:02,818
Sorry.

293
00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:07,907
Come on, love.
Loosen up.

294
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,450
I just can't forget
what happened

295
00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:11,118
to that poor dingo back there.

296
00:15:11,201 --> 00:15:13,871
Who or what could have done
such a horrible thing?

297
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:16,290
It was probably just a wallaby.

298
00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:18,292
Now, come on.

299
00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:21,587
Well, okay.

300
00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:30,638
Hello, Dolly.

301
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:34,475
That was the worst movie
I've ever seen.

302
00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:37,186
Not as bad as the service
at the revolving restaurant.

303
00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:42,358
Isn't it nice we hate
the same things?

304
00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:47,571
So, see me again tomorrow?

305
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:50,658
I'm afraid that's
my microwave cookery class.

306
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:52,326
Then the day after that.

307
00:15:52,409 --> 00:15:54,995
Gee, tae kwon do.

308
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,372
The day after that, then.

309
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,207
Seymour, you're touching me.

310
00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,208
Kiss me, Patty.

311
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:00,459
I don't have cooties.

312
00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:01,543
Hi-ya!

313
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:08,550
Thursday I'm going
food shopping.

314
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:11,220
You can come along if you like.

315
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:12,554
Until then.

316
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,266
Tell me every filthy detail,

317
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,143
or is your tongue too tired?

318
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:20,771
Selma, it was a lousy meal,
the movie was awful,

319
00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:23,023
and he didn't get anything.
Now, good night.

320
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,846
Alright. One kiss,
but I don't want you bragging

321
00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:55,556
to your friends
about how you scored.

322
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,322
I wish I could make
a P.A. announcement

323
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,450
to the whole world.

324
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:18,370
Attention everyone,
Seymour Skinner is in love.

325
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,497
Wow, Simpson,
that's pretty cool.

326
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:22,291
Bart, Skinner's
going to kill you.

327
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,001
Skinner? Ha!
He works for me now.

328
00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:25,627
Simpson?

329
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,296
What is that there?

330
00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:35,929
Patty.

331
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,642
Bart, I hate to pull you away
from your daily exercise, but,

332
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:43,812
well, I wanted you to be
the first to know.

333
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:47,733
I'm going to ask for your
Aunt Patty's hand in marriage.

334
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:50,110
Your funeral, Seymour.

335
00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:53,530
Homer, lighten up. You're making
happy hour bitterly ironic.

336
00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:57,868
Aw, Moe. I've got to find a date
for my big, fat, snotty

337
00:17:57,951 --> 00:17:59,745
sister-in-law, Selma.

338
00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:02,706
I'm intrigued.
What does Selma look like?

339
00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,374
Like my wife's ugly sister.

340
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,876
Wheel her in, Homer.

341
00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:07,753
I'm not a picky man.

342
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:13,342
A good rule of thumb
is two years salary, sir. Try this.

343
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,968
I can't afford that,
I'm an educator.

344
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,804
- Seymour.
- I'll take it.

345
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:19,807
Homer, my sister is not going out
with Barney Gumble.

346
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:24,436
Hey, Selma's
no prize pig herself, you know.

347
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:28,524
Bart, come cheer up
your Aunt Selma.

348
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:31,443
- Okay.
- What did you learn in school today?

349
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:33,647
Principal Skinner's gonna
ask Aunt Patty to marry him.

350
00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,991
Thanks, kid.

351
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:40,202
You made my day.

352
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:42,037
But nothing, Marge.

353
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,706
She's a heifer,
plain and simple, and...

354
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:47,918
There's
the little prom queen now.

355
00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:49,753
Can the sweet talk.
You're right.

356
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:52,673
It's time to ash can
my girlish hopes and dreams

357
00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:56,677
and grab hold of
the next train out of the station.

358
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:06,645
Is that Selma?

359
00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:08,605
Ring-a-ding-ding.

360
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:12,067
- Shut up.
- Why are you dolled up like a chorus girl?

361
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:15,529
Well, it takes a ripe piece
of cheese to catch the mouse.

362
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:20,242
It's time to give away my love
like so much cheap wine.

363
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:22,119
Take it to the hoop, Selma.

364
00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:25,247
Hi, look what I brought.

365
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:27,457
Schnapps?

366
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:30,919
I'll take that.

367
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:34,673
You seem preoccupied tonight,
my little... pudding cup.

368
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:37,968
My sister's on a date
with a big, fat rummy.

369
00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:42,848
Well, there's something up here
that will pick up your spirits.

370
00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:48,937
"Marry me, Patty"?

371
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,689
Jeezum crow!

372
00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:52,608
Look at the size of that rock!

373
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:55,861
It's the second most precious
jewel in this bell tower.

374
00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:58,989
Patty, the question before
you is, will you marry me?

375
00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:01,992
Seymour, I don't know.
I mean, this is so...

376
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:04,077
Just say whatever's
in your heart.

377
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:07,581
Okay. You see, it's not that
I don't love you.

378
00:20:07,664 --> 00:20:10,751
You love me!
Kalloo kallay!

379
00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:12,836
Yes, yes, but...

380
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,297
- But? But?
- But I'm a twin.

381
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:17,132
And as such, I have a special...

382
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,259
Special tie to your sister. Yes.

383
00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:22,012
And the only man I could marry
would have to understand...

384
00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:24,681
That you couldn't leave
your sister for any man.

385
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:27,559
Yes, so I know you appreciate

386
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:29,519
why you can never...

387
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:32,189
- See you again?
- Exactly.

388
00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:35,108
It's a kind of a catch-22.

389
00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:41,114
Farewell, my Patty-cake.

390
00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:44,201
Good night, sweet Principal.

391
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:02,803
Bart Simp...

392
00:21:06,139 --> 00:21:12,354
Springfield Elementary,
I will have you back again.

393
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:17,734
After all, tomorrow
is another school day!

394
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:22,698
And then when I got out
of the service, they...

395
00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:26,034
Well, the next few years
are a blur.

396
00:21:27,577 --> 00:21:28,954
Patty, where's Skinner?

397
00:21:29,037 --> 00:21:31,623
We decided we loved
each other enough

398
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,709
never to see each other again.

399
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:36,378
I hope I can find
a man like that.

400
00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:39,423
Patty, are you throwing away
your last chance at happiness

401
00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:41,341
- just for me?
- Yes.

402
00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:43,385
Thanks.

403
00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:45,304
Now let's go get some pancakes.

404
00:21:45,387 --> 00:21:48,265
Listen, Barney...

405
00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:49,850
Nah.

406
00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:52,311
She broke my heart, Moe.

407
00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:54,313
Don't worry, Barney.

408
00:21:54,396 --> 00:21:56,231
Time heals all wounds.

409
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:59,234
Well, what do you know?
You're right!

410
00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:02,988
And look! A whole pitcher
to myself!

411
00:22:05,198 --> 00:22:06,950
Skinner.

412
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:14,041
I told you you'd be back.

413
00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:20,005
♪♪

414
00:23:03,673 --> 00:23:04,883
Shh!

415
00:23:07,844 --> 00:23:11,098
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.