1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:05,922 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,776 Aah! 3 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,502 A dash of rosemary, 4 00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:28,963 a smidgen of thyme, a pinch of marjoram... 5 00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:32,884 You know, Marge, you make the best pork chops in the whole world. 6 00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:35,261 Now Homer, they're nothing special. 7 00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:37,514 The extra ingredient is care. 8 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,516 A sprinkle of chervil 9 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:41,184 half a teaspoon of turmeric 10 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:43,978 and a whisper of M.S.G. 11 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,397 Marge, I'm gonna build you a spice rack. 12 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:49,109 You don't have to go to all that trouble just for me. 13 00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:52,987 It's no trouble... I got a whole garage full of tools I never use. 14 00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:57,200 Hey, kids! I spy Itchy and Scratchy off the port bow. 15 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,662 - Hey, down in front. - Shut up, boy. 16 00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:03,164 ♪ They fight and fight ♪ 17 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,707 ♪ They fight and fight and fight ♪ 18 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,310 ♪ Fight-fight-fight, fight-fight-fight ♪ 19 00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:09,295 ♪ The Itchy and Scratchy Show! ♪ 20 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:25,186 I knew all this stuff would come in handy someday. 21 00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:26,938 Lets see now. 22 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:28,481 Here it is... 23 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:31,151 The Complete Handyman's Bookshelf, 24 00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,903 Volume One: Spice Racks. 25 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:42,203 "Pick up a hammer." 26 00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:49,002 It's not as easy as I thought it was. 27 00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:55,466 Ooh! 28 00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:57,844 Wow! 29 00:02:57,927 --> 00:02:58,927 ♪♪ 30 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:26,122 Hey, Dad, can you move your head? 31 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,875 No, I can't. It's broken. 32 00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:32,045 Where would an innocent child get the idea 33 00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:34,380 to attack her father with a mallet? 34 00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,148 ♪♪ 35 00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:55,568 No, Maggie! Bad baby! 36 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,237 Keep her away from me, Marge! 37 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,113 She's got that crazy look in her eyes again! 38 00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:04,827 So, television's responsible. 39 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,121 Hey, we were watching that! 40 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:08,206 Mom, what are you doing? 41 00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:09,350 Well, you won't be watching 42 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,000 these cartoons anymore. Ever. 43 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,044 But, Mom if you take our cartoons away, 44 00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:16,089 we'll grow up without a sense of humor and be robots. 45 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:18,925 Really? What kind of robots? 46 00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:21,344 I heard about the cartoons. 47 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:23,972 - Tough break, man. - Thanks, Nelson. 48 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:27,725 Hey, what if you watch "Itchy and Scratchy" over at my house? 49 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:31,980 Hey, that's just crazy enough to work. 50 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:33,690 You heard me. 51 00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:36,234 I won't be in for the rest of the week. 52 00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:40,697 I told you. My baby beat me up. 53 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:45,285 It is not the worst excuse I ever thought up. Wise guy. 54 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,120 I wonder why Bart and Lisa 55 00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:49,372 are so late getting home from school? 56 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,433 Hey, how come you can watch cartoons 57 00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:09,559 but the kids can't? 58 00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:11,185 - Because. - Because why? 59 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:13,313 - Because I said so. - Because you said so why? 60 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:16,607 - Homer, I'm trying to work. . What are you doing? 61 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:19,569 I'm cataloguing the violence in these cartoons. 62 00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:23,531 I don't think adults have ever actually sat down and watched them before. 63 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:38,254 What kind of warped human being would find that funny? 64 00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,427 This is the kind of entertainment 65 00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:45,887 they think is suitable for younger 66 00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:47,889 and more impressionable viewers? 67 00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:50,183 Yeah, but what are you going to do? 68 00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:52,018 I'll tell you what I'm going to do. 69 00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,936 I'm going to write a letter! 70 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:56,814 "Dear purveyors 71 00:05:56,898 --> 00:06:00,526 "of senseless violence: 72 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:03,488 "I know this may sound silly at first, 73 00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:05,698 "but I believe that the cartoons 74 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,909 "you show to our children 75 00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:12,080 "are influencing their behavior in a negative way. 76 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:16,542 "Please try to tone down the psychotic violence 77 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:19,295 "in your otherwise fine programming. 78 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,714 Yours truly, Marge Simpson." 79 00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,758 Take a letter, Miss White. 80 00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:26,344 "Dear valued viewer, thank you for taking an interest 81 00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:28,137 "in the 'Itchy and Scratchy' program. 82 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,431 "Enclosed is a personally autographed photo 83 00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,951 "of America's favorite cat-and-mouse team to add to your collection. 84 00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:35,770 "In regards to your specific comments about the show, 85 00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:37,313 "our research indicates 86 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,191 "that one person cannot make a difference, 87 00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:41,901 "no matter how big a screwball she is. 88 00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:43,945 So let me close by saying..." 89 00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:46,030 "And the horse I rode in on"? 90 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:49,867 I'll show them what one screwball can do! 91 00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:16,727 Everybody's looking at us, Marge. 92 00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:19,605 That's what we want them to do, Homer. 93 00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:24,694 Well, how long are we going to have to be doing this? 94 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:26,446 Well, I've never changed the world before 95 00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:29,073 so I don't know how long it takes, exactly. 96 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,592 But if enough people take an interest... 97 00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:34,537 Hello, Marge. What is S.N.U.H.? 98 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,706 Snuh. 99 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:39,750 It stands for "Springfieldians for Non-Violence 100 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:42,503 Understanding and Helping." 101 00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:45,339 I've started a crusade against cartoon violence. 102 00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:47,467 I can protect my own children, 103 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,677 but there are many others whose minds are being warped 104 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:53,097 every afternoon at 4. 105 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,724 That reminds me. 106 00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:58,019 I got to get over to Milhouse's and... play sports. 107 00:07:58,102 --> 00:08:00,605 - All right. - And I'm going to Janie's again. 108 00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:02,356 We're going to be, um, 109 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,275 making the most of our childhood years. 110 00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:06,736 - Have fun. - We will. 111 00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:14,076 And what happens when a child grows up 112 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,371 with insanely violent role models like these? 113 00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:21,209 The answer is all around you. 114 00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:24,545 How many of you were hit on the head with mallets last week? 115 00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:27,757 Yeah! 116 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,050 Yeah! 117 00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:35,515 I didn't know they still made TV dinners this bad. 118 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,808 - After dinner, can I watch cartoons? - No! 119 00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:41,521 - There's peas in my fruit cobbler! - There's peas everywhere. 120 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:45,149 Well, I guess I'll just go and watch some cartoons. 121 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:48,110 No! I'm sorry about the dinners. 122 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,820 I'll make up for it tomorrow night. 123 00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:51,697 Hey, who's up for some cartoons? 124 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,449 - No one! - All right. 125 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,701 Hey, tomorrow night, how about baking 126 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:58,120 some of your patented pork chops? 127 00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,330 Sure. 128 00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:01,499 Dear, I can't. 129 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:04,001 I've got three protest rallies tomorrow. 130 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:06,504 D'20 million women in the world 131 00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:08,798 and I had to marry Jane Fonda. 132 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:12,552 Hi, kids! Guess what, Sideshow Mel? 133 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:16,847 It's time for "Itchy and Scratchy." 134 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:22,228 Hey, settle down, boys and girls 135 00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:24,522 or Krusty will have to bring out his old friend 136 00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:26,857 Corporal Punishment again. 137 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,360 Please, stop it! 138 00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:31,237 What's going... Who are you people? 139 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,697 What do we want? 140 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:35,533 Substantially less violence in children's programming! 141 00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:37,326 - When do we want it? - Now! 142 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,537 No! You're ruining the show! 143 00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:43,207 Stop! 144 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,625 Please, stop. 145 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:48,212 Please, please, be quiet. 146 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:51,382 I'm trying to earn a living here, alright? Please, stop! 147 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,218 That woman, 148 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:57,221 That screwball Marge Simpson, 149 00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,723 we've got to stop her. 150 00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:00,516 - But how? - Drop an anvil on her? 151 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,976 Hit her on the head with a piano. 152 00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:03,477 Stuff her full of T.N.T. 153 00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,438 Then throw a match down her throat and run? 154 00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:08,482 All your fancy degrees, and that's the best you can do? 155 00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:11,277 You make me sick. 156 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,571 Substantially less violence in children's programming! 157 00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:15,948 - When do we want it? - Now! 158 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,409 Substantially less violence in children's programming! 159 00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:23,873 Heh, I'm so funny. 160 00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:28,502 ♪ Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight ♪ 161 00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:29,962 You know, 162 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,881 some of these stories are pretty good. 163 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,216 I never knew mice lived such interesting lives. 164 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,427 So much needless brutality. 165 00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,804 I don't know if I'm having any impact at all. 166 00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:41,557 ♪♪ 167 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,851 Don't do that! Don't do that! 168 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:46,103 Hey! Don't do that! 169 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,654 Take that, you dumb squirrel! 170 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,033 Where do they get their ideas? 171 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,451 What is it? 172 00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:02,995 What? "Smartline"? 173 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,373 Yes, I've heard of your late-night panel discussion show. 174 00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:06,832 Well, I'd love to! 175 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,710 "Smartline"... 176 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,379 with our local Emmy Award-winning host 177 00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:12,963 Kent Brockman. 178 00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:14,465 Hello, I'm Kent Brockman 179 00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:17,051 and welcome to another edition of "Smartline." 180 00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:19,553 Are cartoons too violent for children? 181 00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,430 Most people would say "No, of course not. 182 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,224 What kind of stupid question is that?" 183 00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:25,101 But one woman says yes. 184 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:26,870 And she's here with us tonight. Mrs. Marge Simpson. 185 00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:28,229 There she is! 186 00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:29,772 Also with us for this 187 00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:33,359 "animated" discussion, heh heh, are Roger Myers, 188 00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,212 chairman of the Board of Itchy & Scratchy International. 189 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,112 Thank you. 190 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:37,589 Krusty the Klown, whose delightful program 191 00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:39,740 brings us the antics of Itchy and Scratchy 192 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,242 every afternoon at 4. 193 00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:43,536 Hi, Kent! 194 00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:46,163 And joining us live via satellite from Vienna, 195 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,916 the home of Sigmund Freud, the world's most famous psychiatrist, 196 00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:51,335 to give us an insight into the human mind, 197 00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:53,921 - Dr. Marvin Monroe. - Hiya. 198 00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:56,340 Now, first, let's see what all the excitement is about. 199 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,634 Here's an example of the work currently being turned out 200 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,845 at I & S Studios. 201 00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:04,974 ♪♪ 202 00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:13,496 Hilarious. Now what in the world is wrong with that, Mrs. Simpson? 203 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,526 - There's nothing wrong with it. - Excuse me. 204 00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:16,944 Excuse me, he was addressing me. 205 00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:18,171 I know. There's nothing wrong with it. 206 00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:19,905 Excuse me, there is! 207 00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,907 I think that it's a bad influence on children. 208 00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,409 Give me a break! 209 00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:26,662 I think that is a bunch of baloney, and here's why. 210 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,866 In preparing for this debate, I did a little research, 211 00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:31,375 and I discovered a startling thing. 212 00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:33,002 There was violence in the past 213 00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:35,296 long before cartoons were invented. 214 00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:36,630 I see. Fascinating. 215 00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:37,816 Yeah, and there was something called 216 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,383 the Crusades, for instance. 217 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,510 Tremendous violence, many people killed! 218 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,988 The darned thing went on for 30 years. 219 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:45,264 And this was before cartoons were invented? 220 00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:47,099 That's right, Kent. 221 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,018 So much for your viewpoint. 222 00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:50,269 Dr. Marvin Monroe in Vienna, 223 00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:52,354 would you care to comment on all this? 224 00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:56,066 Well Kent, to me, the hijinks of a few comic characters 225 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:57,985 absolutely pale in comparison 226 00:12:58,068 --> 00:12:59,379 with the crippling emotional problems 227 00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:01,280 a psychiatrist runs into every day. 228 00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:04,158 I'm referring here to women who love too much, 229 00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:07,286 fear of winning, sex-aholism, stuff like that. 230 00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:09,330 So you have no professional objection 231 00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:11,123 to "Itchy and Scratchy?" 232 00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:14,919 No, not at all. In fact, one of my guilty little pleasures 233 00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:18,088 is to snuggle up with a big bucket of buttered popcorn, 234 00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:21,550 dim the lights, turn on "Itchy and Scratchy," and laugh myself silly. 235 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,469 And what the hell is wrong with that? 236 00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:25,930 Not a thing. Now, for another opinion... 237 00:13:26,013 --> 00:13:28,641 Hi, kids! 238 00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:31,352 Krusty, please. We're giving you an opportunity 239 00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:33,479 to participate in a serious discussion here. 240 00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:35,231 I'm sorry, Kent. 241 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:37,733 It's just when the camera gets on me, I get... 242 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,902 Hey! Hey! 243 00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:41,821 Krusty! 244 00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:44,049 Well, it looks like we're not going to settle this tonight. 245 00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:47,368 Mrs. Simpson, in the nine seconds we have left, 246 00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:48,994 can you summarize your position for us? 247 00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:52,164 Yes. I'd like to ask all the parents in Springfield 248 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,291 who are concerned about this to write in 249 00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:57,837 and let the cartoon makers know how you feel. Thank you. 250 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,713 I don't believe this. 251 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:03,259 "I will never watch your show, buy any of your products, 252 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:06,262 or brake if I see you crossing the street." 253 00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:08,514 Wow! That's cold. 254 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:13,143 "Dear sleaze merchant..." 255 00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:15,771 Come on, that hurts. 256 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:19,817 Gentlemen, the screwballs have spoken. 257 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:33,205 Hello? 258 00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,416 - Is this Marge Simpson? - Yes. 259 00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:38,961 The Marge Simpson who fixed it so cartoons can't be violent anymore? 260 00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:40,212 Yes. 261 00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,923 This is Myers. I'm here with the writers. 262 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,175 Listen, you're so smart, how do we end this picture? 263 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,595 Well, what's the problem you're having? 264 00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:50,973 Okay, here it is. Itchy just stole Scratchy's ice cream cone, and... 265 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,766 Make it a pie. Pies are easier to draw. 266 00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:54,268 Okay, a pie! 267 00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:57,771 Anyway, Scratchy is understandably upset, 268 00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:59,648 so we figured he could, you know, 269 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,459 just grab Itchy and toss him in a bucket of acid. 270 00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:02,483 Dear! 271 00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,528 But then we remembered 272 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,572 that this might be interpreted as violence, 273 00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:09,408 which is morally wrong now, thanks to you. 274 00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:10,659 So what's your big idea? 275 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,578 How do we end this? 276 00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:14,997 Let's see, um... 277 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:19,793 Couldn't Itchy share his pie with Scratchy? 278 00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:21,670 Then they would both have pie. 279 00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:27,176 It's different, I'll give you that. 280 00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:29,845 It's a tool that every home handyman needs. 281 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:33,223 It's a jigsaw. It's a power drill. It's a wood-turning lathe. 282 00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:36,477 It's an asphalt spreader. It's 67 tools in one. 283 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,772 How much would you pay for a machine that could do all this? 284 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,565 - $1,000. - Don't answer yet. 285 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,525 - Sorry. - Because you also get... 286 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,444 Hey, I was watching that. 287 00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:46,654 It's time for Krusty. 288 00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:48,530 You mean we can watch cartoons again, Mom? 289 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,032 Yes, dear, all you want. 290 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:52,034 - All right! - All right! 291 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:53,869 Turn it up. 292 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:57,414 Hey kids. It's time for "Itchy and Scratchy." 293 00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:00,960 ♪ They love, they share ♪ 294 00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,670 ♪ They share and love and share ♪ 295 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:05,506 ♪ Love, love, love, share, share, share ♪ 296 00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:08,550 ♪ The Itchy & Scratchy Show! ♪ 297 00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:16,976 Lemonade? 298 00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,063 Please. 299 00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:23,273 I made it just for you. 300 00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:25,818 You are my best friend. 301 00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:30,322 Itchy and Scratchy seem to have lost their edge. 302 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:33,117 Well, I think it conveys a very nice message of sharing. 303 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,743 I think it sucks. 304 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,079 ♪♪ 305 00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:38,747 Hey, thank you, Maggie. 306 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,165 This really hits the spot. 307 00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,917 Doesn't it, though? 308 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,086 You make really good lemonade, Scratchy. 309 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:46,213 Thank you, Itchy. 310 00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:50,759 Wasn't that funny, boys and girls? 311 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,679 Well? Wasn't it? 312 00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:56,682 Aren't you going to watch the rest of your cute cartoons? 313 00:16:56,765 --> 00:16:58,350 Nah, come on, Lise. 314 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,728 Maybe there's something else to do on this planet. 315 00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,646 ♪♪ 316 00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:12,406 But the third bowl of porridge was just right. 317 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,766 Hi, kids! 318 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:26,146 Is this Saturday? 319 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,690 So, what did you kids do today? 320 00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,317 Me and the guys went fishing. 321 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,611 I almost caught a catfish this big! 322 00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:35,114 And Janey and I went bird-watching. 323 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:38,075 - We saw a grackle. - That's nice, dear. 324 00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:40,410 C'mon, Lise. Let's go finish our soap box racers. 325 00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:42,955 Okay. May we please be excused? 326 00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:45,457 - Sure. - Wow! 327 00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,543 What great kids. 328 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,503 This is a golden age, Marge. 329 00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:52,548 And the parents of Springfield owe it all to you. 330 00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:56,885 I didn't really expect things to change this much. 331 00:18:56,969 --> 00:19:00,305 Well, I always knew you'd change the world for the better. 332 00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:03,851 This will be the art event of the century. 333 00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:06,520 The greatest masterpiece of Italian renaissance. 334 00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:08,313 Michelangelo's "David" 335 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,691 on a coast-to-coast tour of the United States. 336 00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:13,360 Sir, which cities will be included in your itinerary? 337 00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:14,987 New York. 338 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,196 - Springfield. - Yes. 339 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,739 And if we have time, 340 00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,074 Chicago, Boston, Los Angeles. 341 00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:26,498 Marge, get the door. 342 00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:28,167 What in the world? 343 00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:33,005 Get dressed, Marge. 344 00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:34,756 You've got to lead our protest 345 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,717 against this abomination. 346 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,261 But that's Michelangelo's "David." 347 00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:41,513 - It's a masterpiece. - It's filth. 348 00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:43,515 It graphically portrays parts of the human body 349 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:46,268 which, practical as they may be, are evil. 350 00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:47,769 But I like that statue. 351 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,731 I told you she was soft on full frontal nudity. 352 00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:52,399 Come on, girls. 353 00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:59,242 What is this all about? What do you people want? 354 00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:02,951 We want you to get your big Italian butt out of here. 355 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,746 "Smartline," with our local Emmy award-winning host 356 00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:07,331 Kent Brockman. 357 00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:08,999 Is it a masterpiece 358 00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:11,293 or just some guy with his pants down? 359 00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:12,936 That's our topic tonight on "Smartline." 360 00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:15,714 Now, Mrs. Simpson, why are you against this statue? 361 00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:19,092 I'm not. I think everyone in Springfield should see it. 362 00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:22,095 Wait a minute. Aren't you Marge Simpson, the wacko? 363 00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:25,140 - Yes and no. - Hold it! 364 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:27,851 How can you be for one form of freedom of expression, 365 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:31,063 like our big naked friend over there, and be against 366 00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:33,565 another form like "Itchy and Scratchy?" 367 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,651 Good question. 368 00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:38,987 Well, I guess I can't, which is a shame, 369 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,822 because I really hate those cartoons. 370 00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,407 Yeah? Well, what do you have to say 371 00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:44,260 to all those Marge Simpson wannabees out there 372 00:20:44,284 --> 00:20:47,412 who wish to suppress David's doodle? 373 00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:48,956 I don't know. 374 00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:51,667 I guess one person can make a difference, 375 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:54,086 but most of the time, they probably shouldn't. 376 00:20:54,169 --> 00:20:56,755 Well, I guess that settles that. 377 00:20:56,838 --> 00:20:58,173 I'd like to alert our affiliates 378 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,092 that we will be ending our show early tonight. 379 00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:01,735 Join us tomorrow, when our topic will be 380 00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:04,388 "Religion: which is the one true faith?" 381 00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:10,102 ♪♪ 382 00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:40,382 Well, there he is. 383 00:21:40,465 --> 00:21:44,094 - Michelangelo's "Dave." - "David." 384 00:21:44,177 --> 00:21:46,638 What's wrong, Marge? 385 00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:50,934 Homie. Here the kids have a chance to see a great work of art, 386 00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:54,813 and instead, they're home watching a cat and mouse disembowel each other. 387 00:21:54,896 --> 00:21:56,732 Hey, don't worry, Marge. 388 00:21:56,815 --> 00:22:00,569 Pretty soon, every boy and girl in Springfield Elementary School 389 00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:02,487 is gonna come and see this thing. 390 00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:03,822 Really? Why? 391 00:22:03,905 --> 00:22:05,490 They're forcing them! 392 00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:10,162 Well, isn't that nice. 393 00:22:15,125 --> 00:22:16,752 ♪♪ 394 00:23:00,754 --> 00:23:02,297 Shh! 395 00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:08,011 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.