1 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:05,083 The Simpsons 2 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:05,401 D'oh! 3 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:26,011 You're listening to Nationwide Public Radio. 4 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:27,366 It's now 2:00. 5 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,723 Time for Verbal Tea, with Amy Levine-Gonzalez. 6 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:36,203 Oh, boy! This is what sunny Sunday afternoons are for. 7 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:42,207 Today, we'll discuss a dying form of Peruvian banjo music, 8 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:45,363 with Dartmouth banjologist, Stefan Whitmore. 9 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,967 It's just... It's not that good. 10 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:52,280 In our second hour, 11 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:55,125 humorist David Sedaris takes a wry look 12 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,931 at overcrowding in America's prisons. 13 00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,126 Prison overcrowding? 14 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,725 I've got a solution for that. 15 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:03,681 Oh, my God! 16 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:06,969 U-S-A! U-S-A! 17 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:11,009 But, first, we're giving away tickets to the latest film 18 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:14,402 by acclaimed director Mladzieul Klernt. 19 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,847 Her films are so lyrical. 20 00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:18,649 The phone lines are gonna be jammed. 21 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:24,244 Winner of the Romanian Film Festival's prestigious Golden Bucket... 22 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,243 Holy crap! Someone's actually calling! 23 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,007 Hmm. 24 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,846 Hey! I won four free movie tickets and it starts in half an hour! 25 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,365 Free movie tickets? 26 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:41,489 I feel like Roger Ebert or his kiss-ass new partner. 27 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,642 But we don't have a sitter for Maggie. 28 00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:48,645 She'll be fine here under the watchful eye of Grandma Shark Week. 29 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,730 A TV shark is not a babysitter. 30 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:55,886 How about this guy? Ha! 31 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,007 Homer! 32 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:03,530 Howdy, Homer. You here for a viewing of my shampooing? 33 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,648 Shut up, Flanders. I need a favor. 34 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:08,405 Would you mind watching Maggie for a while? It would only be until later. 35 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,529 Sorry, but I promised to rewind videotapes for the poor. 36 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,967 Come on, Flanders. Doesn't that Bible of yours 37 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:15,530 say to love thy neighbor? 38 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:17,682 Why won't you love me? 39 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:19,882 All right, neighbor. I'll babysit. 40 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,121 Thanks, Ned. 41 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,049 You wear a bathing suit in the bathtub? 42 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,361 Yeah, so I can't see my own shrinky-dink. 43 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,371 Makes sense. 44 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:45,007 Instead of video games, they have weird, free newspapers. 45 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:47,566 Hmm. 46 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:49,642 Mom, am I "butch" or a "fem"? 47 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,326 Honey, you can be anything you wanna be. 48 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:53,761 Ha! 49 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,884 This theater sucks. My seat's uncomfortable. 50 00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,769 The screen's only half a screen, 51 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,365 And that guy's eating an apple. 52 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,408 Would you care for a segment? 53 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:04,481 Yes. 54 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:28,763 What language is this? Gibby-Gabby? 55 00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:30,444 It's Albanian, 56 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,524 but the producers added subtitles to make it commercial. 57 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:37,650 Mom, I don't wanna read. It's the weekend. 58 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,200 I've had enough. I'm leaving. 59 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,720 Oh, I'm stuck! Why did I eat that apple segment? 60 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,161 Oh, oh, oh. 61 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:56,244 Sorry, Maggie. That's something to collect, not enjoy. 62 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,084 It's one of my Humble Figurines. 63 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:01,323 He scampered out of Parade Magazine and into my knickknack nook, 64 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,687 and, well, his little buddies soon followed. 65 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:15,806 You like them, huh? Come on, I'll show you the other 300. 66 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,011 How could this have... 67 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:22,085 Oh. 68 00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:25,965 I feel so much empathy for those villagers. 69 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,481 They had to drink their own tears. 70 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,130 I was so bored, I cut the ponytail 71 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,611 Off the guy sitting in front of us. 72 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,524 "Look at me. I'm a grad student. I'm 30 years old, 73 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,682 "and I made $600 last year." 74 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,001 Bart, don't make fun of grad students. 75 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,560 They just made a terrible life choice. 76 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:45,406 Judas-bear, you're not touching your Last Supper. 77 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,529 I can't eat because my conscience is heavy. 78 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:51,444 Boys, enough of your shenanigans. It's bedtime. 79 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,610 Mmm! Ned, let me give you 80 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:55,125 a little something for babysitting. 81 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,045 I can't take money from a neighbor. 82 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:59,726 Although business at the Leftorium's been pretty slow 83 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,882 since that big chain store came to town. 84 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,050 You've got a big house, Ned. 85 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:08,360 If you need extra money, 86 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,010 why don't you rent out a room? 87 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:13,129 Well, it might be fun to be a landlord... Land fella. 88 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,929 There's only one Lord. 89 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,121 I need a place to crash 90 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:20,201 while my mom's drying out. 91 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,725 Well, I'd love to help you out, 92 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,928 but you do have to be over 18. 93 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,968 I am. Check out my ID. 94 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,563 Wait, this is my license. 95 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:29,971 No, it's not, you hump. 96 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,325 Well, I do appreciate 97 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:36,640 that you've got a cashier's check. 98 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,131 Now, do you have any pets? 99 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,086 I am Katja and this is Vicki. 100 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,050 We make much study at community college. 101 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:50,770 We're, like, here about the room. 102 00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:51,841 We moved out of our dorm 103 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:53,684 Because it was, like, co-ed. 104 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:57,881 Sometimes we saw the boys in their robes. 105 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:01,851 You poor thing. Now, I've heard about those robes. 106 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,251 Flapping everywhere. 107 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:06,045 Girls, welcome to your very own Ned and Breakfast. 108 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,122 Silly talk means "yes"? 109 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:16,566 Here's your room, ladies. 110 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:19,689 You can catch some z's while you earn those degrees. 111 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,560 You rhyme like Snoopy-Dogg. 112 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:25,483 Well, thank you. 113 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:40,247 I know what we can ask Jeeves. Why does he suck? 114 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,163 Hey! A banner ad! 115 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,049 Sexyslumberparty.com? 116 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,720 It's flashing. We better click it. 117 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,523 Katja, do you think anyone's watching? 118 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:57,761 If they are, 119 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:01,367 they will see us explore our sexhood without restraint. 120 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,125 Hey, this is one of those dirty websites. 121 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,885 Two girls? Who would want that? 122 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,209 You may inside come. 123 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:18,489 I got phi beta cappuccinos for Ned's pre-meds. 124 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,204 Flanders? 125 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:21,441 That's odd. 126 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,331 I could've sworn I just heard someone shriek my name. 127 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:25,441 You heard nothing! 128 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:26,681 That's better. 129 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:36,004 Spank me again with little boy's picture. 130 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:41,650 What are you kids laughing at? 131 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,563 And if you say Jimmy Fallon, 132 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,165 I'll know you're lying. 133 00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:47,642 Scantily clad co-eds? 134 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,521 Why, you little... 135 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:52,171 To have a libido... 136 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,129 Dad, look who's in there. 137 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,486 Flanders? 138 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,447 He doesn't even know what's going on! 139 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,562 Wait'll I tell everyone about this. 140 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:06,041 I'll feel important without drinking. 141 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,724 That'll be weird. 142 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:09,770 What a combination. 143 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,366 Hot chicks and stupid Flanders. 144 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:17,245 And you say Mr. Flanders remains completely ignorant 145 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:19,402 of their dot-Kama-sutra? 146 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,083 Yup, and nobody's telling him. 147 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:24,288 Not even his good buddy, God! 148 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:28,490 Boy, nothing is sexier than still photos in a girlie magazine. 149 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:29,801 Whoa! 150 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,251 Sensual, isn't it? 151 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:33,401 And the best part is, 152 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,244 Stupid Flanders doesn't even know 153 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,448 it's happening in his stupid house. 154 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,490 Hence my nickname, Stupid Flanders. 155 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:44,765 Hey, Moses. Are you a loser? 156 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,126 "Yes, I am, Homer." 157 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:54,281 How are those two comely boarders of yours, Ned? 158 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,089 Well, Mel, they're swell. 159 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,766 Oh, yeah. They're just what my laptop needed. 160 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:07,606 Son, I need to pee, 161 00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:09,011 but I can't stop watching. 162 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:10,570 Fetch me a bottle. Come on, Dad. 163 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:12,324 I've seen you hit the toilet from here. 164 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,562 What are you two doing? Uh... 165 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,047 We're watching the latest photos from Mars. 166 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,043 Ho-ho! Great stuff. Worth every billion. 167 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,249 Bart, turn away from that screen and look out the window! 168 00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:27,085 No problemo. 169 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:32,091 It's happening in Ned's house! 170 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:33,321 Why would he allow that? 171 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,724 Well, that's obvious. He doesn't even know. 172 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:45,920 Come on. You tell him right now. 173 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,611 Ned, Homer has something to tell you. 174 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,450 Uh... 175 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:53,171 I'm thinking about getting a yogurt franchise. 176 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,481 It's called Plops. It's... 177 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:58,403 You know what I mean. 178 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:04,208 Okay. Flanders, you see... 179 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:07,763 You soft-core sophomores took advantage of my trustful nature 180 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:11,162 and sullied the Internet by putting pornography on it! 181 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,605 Get out! 182 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:23,443 The whole town is laughing at me behind my back. 183 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,842 I guess you're the only real friend I have. 184 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:26,921 Are you kidding? 185 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:30,169 Homer's the one what wised us up to the sexy goings-on. 186 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,529 Homer, is this true? 187 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:36,446 Ned, I had no choice. It was just so funny. 188 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,681 The Bible says, "Cast your bread upon the waters." 189 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,087 But all I got was a bunch of soggy bread. 190 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,641 Mmm. Soggy... 191 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,927 Don't say it, Homer! This is not the time! 192 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,001 ...bread. 193 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:54,721 Mmm. 194 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,723 What's wrong, Daddy? 195 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,040 Well, Toddy, you know how I said 196 00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,009 our friends are like the Canaanites? 197 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,526 Today I realized they're more like the Midianites. 198 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:07,129 I wish we lived in a place more like the America of yesteryear 199 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,726 that only exists in the brains of us Republicans. 200 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:18,924 "Made in Humbleton, PA." 201 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,564 I don't usually make big life decisions 202 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:22,846 based on things stamped on things 203 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:24,126 that I bought at a garage sale, 204 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:27,170 But corn dog it, boys, it's time for a change! 205 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,600 Dad, I don't think you realize what you've done. 206 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:35,480 You've totally humiliated the best friend the Simpsons ever had. 207 00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:39,929 You're right. But you know who the real victim is here? Ned. 208 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,287 That's what we've been trying to tell you! 209 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:43,441 Oh, yeah. 210 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,525 What's this? 211 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,563 "Goodbye, Springfield"? 212 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:54,086 "The Flanders family has pulled up stakes. 213 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:57,164 "You have laughed at us for the last-diddly-ast time." 214 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,447 "Last-diddly-ast"? 215 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:05,924 He's gone! And it's all someone's fault! 216 00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:18,648 Well, Homer, you've driven away 217 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,564 the best neighbor a family could ever want. 218 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:24,360 But at least we have a chance to start fresh. 219 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:27,250 So let's be on our best behavior, okay? 220 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:30,324 Don't worry, Marge. I've taken every precaution. 221 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,409 This is so humiliating. 222 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:37,169 Well, at least your name's on the bowl. 223 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,526 Hmm. 224 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:45,365 I submit! I submit! 225 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:46,441 Hmm. 226 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,529 Hi, I'm Homer Simpson. I live next door. 227 00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,001 So, is that your whistle? 228 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:01,764 Damn straight. Clay Roberts. 229 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,002 I coach wrestling, so everybody calls me Coach. 230 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,731 Listen, neighboreeno, 231 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,326 I want to start our relationship off on the right foot, 232 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,324 so if you need anything, anything at all... 233 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,210 What jag-off left this here? 234 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,644 Boys, we're home. 235 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:53,361 Kick it 236 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:58,651 That's coming from next door! 237 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,963 Don't worry, I'll straighten things out with Coach Clay. 238 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:03,246 We're good buddies. 239 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,926 We play this game called "Who can punch the softest?" 240 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,367 And he always lets me win. 241 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,530 Hey, Coach, do you mind turning down the music? 242 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:14,971 My baby's trying to take a nap. 243 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:18,010 That's too bad because my twins are just waking up, dude. 244 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,526 Encourage me. 245 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,045 Looking good. Feel the burn. 246 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,088 Louder! You're a god! 247 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:26,400 I can't think of anymore. 248 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:27,811 Just say, "Go, 90, 90!" 249 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,041 Go, go, go! 250 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,327 Say it like you mean it, you wuss! 251 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,444 Howdy, Humbletonian. 252 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,284 Picnics and Pixy Stix! 253 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:45,331 I'll see your smile and raise you a wink and a giggle. 254 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:50,004 This town is sweeter than a cake made of pie. 255 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,162 Even the dogs curb themselves. 256 00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,802 Everyone new begins here, in the dimple department. 257 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,523 Can I start yesterday? 258 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:06,562 There is one personal matter. 259 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:10,008 I'm afraid you'll have to lose the hippie lip. 260 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,647 Get rid of Dr. Fuzzenstein? 261 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:16,884 Why, I couldn't dream of thinking about considering. 262 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,001 I'll see what I can do. 263 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:22,241 Very good. 264 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,561 Until then, you can wear this. 265 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:34,527 Daddy, why do you have to shave your nose-neighbor? 266 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,489 You know what? I'm not gonna. 267 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:40,326 My moustache has the right to life. It's my body and my choice! 268 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:44,766 Bad Company 269 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:46,641 I can't deny 270 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,810 Bad, bad company 271 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:56,369 Until the day I die 272 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,761 Oh, yeah Until the day I die 273 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:03,807 Ooh 274 00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:10,441 This is for you. 275 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,042 Tonight on "Celebrity Chop Shop," 276 00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:23,920 we sell the parts off Jason Bateman's Bentley. 277 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,843 What did you do to my car? 278 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,843 Dude, you've been chop shopped! 279 00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:30,446 Why would you do that? How am I gonna get home? 280 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,649 Chop shop! Chop shop! 281 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:36,641 Huh? 282 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,844 Hey! You knocked out my power. 283 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:46,082 How am I supposed to eat without watching TV? 284 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,527 Yeah. Something tells me you won't starve, huh? 285 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,931 Huh, chief? 286 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,606 When are you gonna stop poking me? Will it be soon? 287 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,250 Relax, dumbass. 288 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:58,245 By the way. I borrowed some gas from your car, you dumb-ass! 289 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,085 But I siphoned that gas from Flanders. 290 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:02,605 Flanders. 291 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:05,763 What are you doing, reminiscing? Like a woman? 292 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:09,401 Like a woman who's made the biggest mistake of her life! 293 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,765 Homer? What are you doing here? 294 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,242 I was just driving around the Mid-Atlantic states, 295 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,369 ringing doorbells at random. And I just... 296 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,167 Who am I fooling with my awesome lies? 297 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:36,050 I want you to come back to Springfield! 298 00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:38,930 Why? So you can make me a laughingstock again? 299 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,890 No. I want to make you a respecting-stock. 300 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,570 I don't know if you've noticed. 301 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,291 But I borrowed a lot of your stuff over the years. 302 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,169 Well, that is true. In fact... 303 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:50,526 Shut up, Flanders. 304 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:53,570 But some things I could never take from you. 305 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:56,564 Your kindness, your gentle spirit, 306 00:18:56,640 --> 00:19:00,645 and your infinite patience with a big, dumb jerk like me. 307 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,200 Ned, I don't deserve you as a neighbor, 308 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,887 but will you forgive a young, handsome fool and come home? 309 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,485 Homer, that's really touching. 310 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:10,847 But my boys and I are trying to make a new start, 311 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,406 and people here are a little bit more my cup of... 312 00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:18,600 Are there letters to pick up or no letters to pick up? 313 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,842 I can't tell and I'm looking right at it. 314 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,403 Ooh, that tears it! 315 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:25,403 Boys, put on your goody two-shoes. 316 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,926 We're moving back to Springfield! 317 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,525 But I have a girlfriend. 318 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,011 Now you've got a pen-pal. 319 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:32,081 Yay! 320 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:33,521 So you see, Mr. Roberts, 321 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,523 I really would like my house back. 322 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,729 Really? Well, that's too bad because I'm not leaving. 323 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,404 See, I like this place, 324 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,642 and I've already got fatso, here, broken in. 325 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:44,808 Ain't that right, fatso? Huh? 326 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,602 Yeah. I am a little pudgy. 327 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:49,921 You got me. Yeah. 328 00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:52,726 Now, Coach, I've tried to be Christian and respectful. 329 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,007 But I guess I'm just gonna have to point out 330 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,162 your $200,000 check bounced. 331 00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,402 Legally, I still own this house. 332 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,403 Yeah? Tell it to the Marines! 333 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,282 Okay! Okay, I give. Ow! 334 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:07,761 Ow! 335 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:11,242 Why did you do that? I was begging for mercy! 336 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:13,209 I saw my advantage and I took it. 337 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,169 That's what heroes do. 338 00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:20,681 Okay, Ned. Get ready for your welcome home surprise! 339 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:25,523 Homer, did you steal the organ from the church? 340 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,409 Maybe. We don't know that for sure. 341 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:28,845 Well, you gotta take it back. 342 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,126 After the party. 343 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,690 It sure is great to look down my nose at everybody again. 344 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,250 Mind if I waggle my finger a little bit? 345 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:39,890 Go nuts. 346 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,803 Flanders? Okay, that's it. 347 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:43,484 It's really irritating!