1 00:00:03,280 --> 00:00:05,203 The Simpsons 2 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:10,561 D'oh! 3 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,928 Call the police. 4 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:58,291 I need change for a dollar. 5 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,562 No change without purchase. 6 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,724 What's the cheapest thing you've got? 7 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,408 A 2-ounce bag of chips, $5.99. 8 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:12,681 $5.99? What a rip-off! Someone should shoot you. 9 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:15,724 Aw! I was hoping we'd miss the 3:00 holdup. 10 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,928 I don't know what to do for dinner now. 11 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,604 Maybe we could shop somewhere else. 12 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,649 There's a farm stand next door. 13 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:25,841 Interesting. 14 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:28,691 It's like a corndog without the dog. 15 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:32,208 Put whatever you want in this burlap sack. 16 00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:35,164 You may not. That's my baby carrier! 17 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:41,248 They so traumatized, I'm taking 'em for a walk in they's stroller. 18 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:50,204 Well, I think this family should try more vegetarian meals. 19 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,203 We'd feel better and live longer. 20 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:56,485 Vegetables, you've been promoted from side dish to entree. 21 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:03,485 I don't miss meat at all! 22 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,568 This Portobello mushroom eats like a steak. 23 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,320 A rubbery, fungus-like steak. 24 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,205 Oh, Marge, I'm giving birth to a food baby! 25 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:17,844 Oh! 26 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,685 I feel like something crawled inside me and took a crap. 27 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,247 Bart, don't use that word... 28 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:24,481 Crap! 29 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,527 I brought you some weak tea and dry toast. 30 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,807 No fair. Lisa didn't get sick. 31 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,326 It's 'cause your bodies are so used to processed food, 32 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:46,324 it's a shock when you eat vegetables full of vitamins, minerals, 33 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,971 and trace amounts of bug feces. 34 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:50,606 Uh... 35 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:53,007 Hmm. 36 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:56,641 I think it's staying down. 37 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,370 It's staying down! 38 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:03,370 It's not staying down! Wait, yeah. It's staying down! 39 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:06,284 Oh, no! It's not! Yes, it is. 40 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:07,885 No, it's not! Yeah. 41 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,810 No! Yep! No! Yep! No! 42 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,041 Yep, no, yep, no, yep, no. 43 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:13,167 Stop it! 44 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:17,371 You'll all feel better if you get a little sleep. Now, close your eyes. 45 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,687 Where's my bucket? Oh. 46 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:29,323 Hush, little baby don't say a word 47 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:32,690 Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird 48 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:36,488 And if that mockingbird don't sing 49 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:43,883 And if that diamond ring turns brass 50 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:47,521 Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass 51 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:51,605 Lisa sings so sweetly. And Bart is my pillow. 52 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,808 Everyone's good for something. 53 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,924 Looks like you guys are on the mend. 54 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:03,963 Yeah, 'cause we're through with vegetables. 55 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,289 From now on, I'm only eating food that I know had a soul. 56 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,280 Hey, hey, kids! 57 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:13,125 Do you have what it takes to be a singing sensation? 58 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:16,244 A dynamite voice? Ruthless, pushy parents? 59 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:20,764 A void in your self-esteem that can only be filled by applause? 60 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:22,604 Oh, God. I know that void. 61 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,330 Then you were born to enter 62 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,370 Krusty's Li'I Starmaker Singing Competition! 63 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,291 Not affiliated with American Idol. 64 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:30,646 We've never even heard of "American Idol." 65 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:35,045 The winner will be animated into an "Itchy & Scratchy" cartoon. 66 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,768 So, enter today, especially if you're a funny-looking kid 67 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:40,530 who doesn't know he sucks! 68 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,087 I'm a comin', Krusty! 69 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,564 Lisa, you should enter that contest. You've got a great voice! 70 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:47,727 It made us all feel better. 71 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,122 Thanks, Bart. That's really sweet. 72 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:53,802 I think I puked up all of my meanness. 73 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:55,721 Ow! 74 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,201 Praise the Lord! I'm on the road to recovery! 75 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,563 I hope we didn't camp out here for nothing. 76 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,081 It's like every kid in Springfield showed up. 77 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:14,569 Don't worry about the competition, sweetie. 78 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:19,646 Whenever I enter a contest, I tell myself I'm going to win. 79 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,845 Because sometimes, if you believe hard enough, 80 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:26,048 God cuts you a break. 81 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:30,091 After all, he works for us. Our prayers pay his salary. 82 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,323 And if I win, I'll be on Itchy & Scratchy. 83 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,000 Ha ha! En garde! Parry! Thrust! 84 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,121 Nicely done, Wind Dancer. 85 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:47,201 But seriously, cruelty to animals is no laughing matter. 86 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:48,884 You can make a difference. 87 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,883 Spay and neuter your pets! 88 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:54,607 And remember! Save the violence for cartoons! 89 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,523 For details, log onto peta.org. 90 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:12,121 All right, kids. Let's do this quick. 91 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:16,570 After this, I gotta record 27 seasons of DVD commentaries. 92 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:17,971 And I remember nothing! 93 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,685 Today, we'll pick the lucky children 94 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,450 who will get to compete on the air. 95 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:23,887 I was going to be your celebrity judge. 96 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,770 But then I realized, I'd have to pay attention. 97 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:30,003 So, instead, we'll use the Applause-O-Meter. Huh? Huh? 98 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,011 Now, let's get this over with! 99 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:41,169 A, B, C, D, E, F, G 100 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:45,489 How I wonder what you are 101 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:46,800 Thank you. 102 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:52,245 I can't believe I used to date him. 103 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:53,685 Lise, you're a shoo-in. 104 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:59,688 Hush little baby don't say a word 105 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,930 Mama's gonna buy you a mocking bird 106 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:06,403 That's gonna sing 107 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:08,926 Yes it is, y'all 108 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:16,967 And if that mocking bird don't sing 109 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,363 Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring 110 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:24,001 That's gonna shine, shine 111 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:27,124 Oh, it shines so bright I 112 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,244 Lisa, that sounds like a fancier version 113 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:39,448 of the song you're going to sing. 114 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:44,248 And she's giving us the emotional experience of a lifetime. 115 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,882 Thank you for this angel, Lord. 116 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:55,286 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, no 117 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,882 This contest is moot! 118 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:11,487 A li'I star has been made! 119 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,850 When she sings a C, it's a C! 120 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,651 Unlike a certain glee club I've wasted my life on! 121 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:18,846 Well, I may not know much, 122 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:22,647 but I do know talent when my producers point it out to me. 123 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:26,611 We have our first contestant! Clarissa Wellington! 124 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,365 Oh, there's no way I'm gonna beat her. 125 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:31,601 Why? Just because she sings 126 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:33,091 like Whitney Houston brought to life? 127 00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:35,608 Don't lose hope, sweetie. 128 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:38,161 I'm gonna write you a song so great, you can't lose. 129 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:41,608 And that's not just the beer talking. Your father's in here, too. 130 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:52,131 When a man loves a woman 131 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,924 Which one are you? The man or the woman? 132 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,288 Questioning the kid's sexuality? Well done. Ha! Ha! 133 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,124 Here you go, honey! Sing this. 134 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:05,884 How did you write a song so quickly? 135 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,008 Much of the tune is plagiarized. Now, go, go, go! 136 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:17,369 I've been to Paris and London And Tokyo town 137 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:23,800 But one crazy burg Has 'em all beat hands down 138 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,087 Jacksonville? 139 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:28,767 I'm talkin' Springfield You can buy chimichangas 140 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,487 Talkin' Springfield The chicks have big gazongas 141 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:36,361 There's tires on fire A guy named Apu 142 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:40,801 And Skinner, and Grampa and old Disco Stu 143 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:43,202 Did I forget to mention you? 144 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:44,645 You? That's me! 145 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,445 I'm talkin' Springfield 146 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:52,367 Where nobody sucks 147 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,003 Except for Flanders 148 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:04,086 I get it! I get it! She's good! 149 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:05,566 Looks like they love ya, kid. 150 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,200 And the audience is always right. 151 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:10,647 I wish I could say the same about my stockbroker. 152 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:19,205 Ah, what do you jerks know? That's a quality joke. 153 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:22,046 You did it, sweetie! 154 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,963 No! We did it, Dad! 155 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,008 She's right. It was all me. 156 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:30,121 I really do like working with you, Dad. Will you keep helping me? 157 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:31,690 Of course, sweetie. 158 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,968 You and I are gonna write and sing our way 159 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:37,044 out of this godforsaken hellhole. 160 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,846 But your song said you liked Springfield. 161 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,685 I wrote it about Shelbyville, then changed the names. 162 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:48,601 La, la, la la, la, la, la, la 163 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,320 Good job, sweetie! 164 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,722 Every time you hit that note, I'll shoot a glass with my BB gun. 165 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,810 I really appreciate you taking such an interest in me, Dad. 166 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,844 Honey, our time together is precious to me. 167 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,445 I didn't want to say anything 168 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:06,126 but I don't think I'm gonna be around much longer. 169 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:07,805 Really? What's wrong? 170 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:11,806 Well, Moe's getting a big screen TV in February. 171 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,769 Just in time for the Pro Bowl. 172 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,923 Maybe this time my beloved blue shirts will win. 173 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,562 Is it possible to get a green spotlight? 174 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,404 Sorry, sweetie. We don't have green. 175 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,403 Let Daddy go talk to the man. 176 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,404 May I have a word with you? 177 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,010 Is that green enough for you, sweetie? 178 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,687 Because I can make it greener. 179 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,250 No, it's fine. 180 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:52,685 Alas, my love you do me wrong 181 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:57,961 To cast me off discourteously 182 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,369 That's Cameron. Girls go crazy over him. 183 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:04,930 He's cute, unthreatening, 184 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,082 And his smile brought a puppy back to life. 185 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:15,002 Don't worry, honey. The song I wrote you is so schmaltzy, 186 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,289 it'll make Moon River sound like a farting orangutan! 187 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:24,769 My kitty died on Christmas Eve 188 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:30,322 Daddy told me to be brave 189 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:35,048 But instead of singing carols 190 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:40,047 I was digging Snowball's grave 191 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:41,846 Oh! 192 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:47,011 Oh, God. I miss Lisa's cat so much. 193 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,884 All right, you know how it works. 194 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,928 Every week we eliminate one contestant 195 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:54,850 based on the votes cast by you, the audience. 196 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,201 ANNOUNCER'. Disclaimer. All ballots were lost and vote totals made up. 197 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,601 The first contestant eliminated is 198 00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:01,284 Katie Anderson! 199 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,641 Katie, you were the first victim of the Buzz Cola trap door. 200 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,167 Fall into the flavor hole! 201 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:27,521 And the next contestant to be eliminated 202 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:28,681 is Clarissa! 203 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:33,524 Yeah, it's you, honey. Please don't cry. 204 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:36,126 Keep crying. It's dynamite. 205 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:41,322 Sweetie, tonight you were perfect! 206 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:43,888 Marge, Lisa and I were just discussing 207 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:45,485 how to improve tonight's performance. 208 00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:48,291 Now, you're confusing her by telling her she was perfect. 209 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:52,684 Mr. Simpson, I brought those Twizzlers you asked for. 210 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:55,724 My little girl likes Red Vines! You little... 211 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,568 Mr. Simpson, please stop! 212 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:02,569 You think I can't kill you? 213 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:05,803 There's a hundred little punks graduating from Syracuse this year 214 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:08,770 that would beg to kiss my ass! Get outta here! 215 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,002 He's crazy! 216 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:13,084 Hey, these are Red Vines! 217 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:17,087 There you go, sweetie. Daddy got you your candy. 218 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,361 Homie, I'm worried you're turning into 219 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,410 some kind of super cuckoo stage mother. 220 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:26,450 Yeah. For once, couldn't you just turn into a good father? 221 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:28,249 Would that be so hard? 222 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:29,526 Hey, give me a break. 223 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:31,410 Living through Lisa is the healthiest thing 224 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:32,811 that ever happened to me. 225 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:36,407 But, Dad, you don't need to help me by humiliating people! 226 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,804 You love sausage, but you hate to see it getting made. 227 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,485 I don't love sausage! 228 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:44,130 Then would you like to see it getting made? 229 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:48,451 Dad, you're fired! 230 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:50,809 Fired? Me? 231 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:57,847 Everything I did, I did for you! 232 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:11,881 Dad, I'm sorry you're hurt, but you left me no choice. 233 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,525 You were obnoxious at a level 234 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:15,927 not even permitted in show business! 235 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,923 Do you know the hours I worked? 236 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,411 The people I had to yell at? 237 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,648 The tires I had to slash? 238 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,485 No one asked you to yell and slash! 239 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,204 It's called "schmoozing!" 240 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,402 Bart, you want to go to the video arcade? 241 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,323 Hell, I'll even go shoe shopping. 242 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:32,760 Hey! Come back! 243 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,882 I'm calming down! 244 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:38,887 We'll have family fun! Family fun! 245 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,961 Hey, everybody, I brought a guest. 246 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:54,728 Someone who appreciates my in-your-face management style. 247 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,965 Ha! Smart move! 248 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,249 Soon the whole world will be lining up to suck my nose 249 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:04,529 after I make my new client a star. 250 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:09,049 Hey, Simpson family 251 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,129 How can I touch your hearts tonight? 252 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:13,851 You're working with Cameron now? 253 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:17,965 His name isn't Cameron anymore. He's now Johnny Rainbow. 254 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:19,491 Mr. Simpson, about that... 255 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:22,609 I'm not Mr. Simpson! That ship has sailed. 256 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,444 I'm Colonel Cool! 257 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:27,763 And I'm the captain on this rocket to the stars! 258 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,485 So, are you a colonel or a captain? 259 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:30,561 Neither, I'm both. 260 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,251 All right, I'm gonna teach you a little something 261 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,402 about jazz hands. 262 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,880 Now, don't stop until it's as natural as breathing. 263 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:44,844 Dad looks so happy. 264 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,764 Actually, I think your father's still upset 265 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,241 about the way things went down. 266 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:55,006 Marge, Bart, Maggie, Santa's Little Helper... 267 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,247 Lisa. 268 00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:00,961 Dad, I don't want things to be awful between us. 269 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,923 I made you some cookies. 270 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:06,006 I don't think cookies are gonna make me feel better. 271 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,004 Oh! Oh, God! Oh! Mmm. 272 00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:12,361 They're delicious! Mmm. Oh. 273 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:16,610 So happy! Oh, God, they're... 274 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:18,165 They're gone. 275 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:24,121 Hi. This lighting's a little bright. 276 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:27,568 And could I get a red wash in the background? 277 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:29,847 Sorry, hon. This is all we got. Who's next? 278 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:30,887 We are. 279 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:34,681 Okay, Morty, give me a rose-colored spot, tight to the mid-chest, 280 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,242 And an aqua background with an astronaut on a surfboard. 281 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:39,606 Sure. Sure thing, Mr. S. 282 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,290 Lisa. Um... 283 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:51,290 At the end of your song, remember to look into the spotlight. 284 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:52,725 It makes your eyes twinkle. 285 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,166 Aw. 286 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,646 Thanks, Dad. 287 00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:57,684 You're welcome. 288 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,001 This is our final night. 289 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,084 Thirty contestants have already fallen 290 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,322 Through our Buzz Cola trap door. 291 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,444 Let us out! 292 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:16,763 Hey, you're supposed to clean this out every night! 293 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:20,365 What do you mean, "Talk to your shop steward"? Bah! 294 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:24,682 Now, let's welcome the first of our two finalists, 295 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:26,046 Lisa Simpson. 296 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,250 Ladies and gentlemen, I have a confession to make. 297 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:33,966 I didn't have my usual songwriter tonight. 298 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,005 So, I took a stab at writing my own song. 299 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,641 Something that expresses what's really in my heart. 300 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,722 Bernie, if you please? 301 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,047 I'm in the final two 302 00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:47,600 I should be happy 303 00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:50,966 But all I want to do 304 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,168 Is spend more time 305 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:55,925 With my pappy 306 00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:59,640 Now that you're gone, Dad 307 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,041 I miss you so much 308 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:07,884 And your threats against teamsters and techies, and such 309 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:13,081 Your management style is like Attila the Hun 310 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:19,249 You were vicious, malicious but you got the job done 311 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,685 I'm sorry I hurt you 312 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,611 But please don't be sad 313 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,731 You're no longer my coach 314 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:34,404 But you're always my dad 315 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,764 Even the Applause-O-Meter is crying. 316 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:49,531 Oh, God! That's battery acid! 317 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,689 Dad, you know, the best part about this whole thing 318 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,649 has been the time we've spent together. 319 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:59,601 I don't care if I win just as long as you're in my corner again. 320 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,484 I always was, honey. 321 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,803 Look! Cameron's about to sing the song I wrote for him! 322 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:09,965 He's about to learn the most important lesson in the music business. 323 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,850 Don't trust people in the music business. 324 00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:17,124 I'm a privileged boy It's great, I gotta tell ya 325 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,051 Privileged boy My dad can buy and sell ya 326 00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,851 It really doesn't matter that you're on the list in front of me 327 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,685 I'm gonna get your table 'cause I always tip the maitre d' 328 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,844 And then I'll go to Yale because I am a legacy 329 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:31,328 I'm better than you 330 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,163 You suck, Johnny Rainbow! 331 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,288 I believed in you! 332 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,244 No! 333 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,641 You sabotaged Cameron for me. 334 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:46,721 Sure did. 335 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:51,090 I'd do anything for you, honey. Especially if it's easy. 336 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,807 Well, I think you're the sweetest dad in the whole world. 337 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,442 I'll always be there. 338 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,887 Not even death will stop me. 339 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,450 Now, you're getting creepy. 340 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:05,443 How about, I love you, honey? 341 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:06,521 Good.