1 00:00:25,877 --> 00:00:27,906 Checking out a cave is gonna be awesome! 2 00:00:28,004 --> 00:00:30,992 It'll be dark with rocks and mineral formations and 3 00:00:31,075 --> 00:00:34,152 plants that have adapted to harsh... wait a minute! 4 00:00:34,288 --> 00:00:35,156 This is a scam. 5 00:00:35,466 --> 00:00:36,936 We're on a nature walk! 6 00:00:37,937 --> 00:00:38,877 Don't worry, Bart. 7 00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:39,791 I brought something 8 00:00:39,803 --> 00:00:41,032 that'll keep you interested-- 9 00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:42,863 a nickel in a water bottle! 10 00:00:48,610 --> 00:00:50,021 He'll sleep tonight. 11 00:00:51,140 --> 00:00:51,562 Where'd it go?! 12 00:00:51,630 --> 00:00:52,273 where'd it go?! 13 00:00:53,383 --> 00:00:54,287 It's in the cap. 14 00:00:56,816 --> 00:01:00,811 Local Anahoopi indians believed this stalactite 15 00:01:00,873 --> 00:01:05,706 was the finger of Tsisnajini, their god of pointing down. 16 00:01:06,564 --> 00:01:07,446 Silly indians. 17 00:01:07,766 --> 00:01:09,286 Our god made their god. 18 00:01:09,573 --> 00:01:11,302 It's so impressive. 19 00:01:11,317 --> 00:01:15,465 I'm just gonna get a tiny chip to put on my desk at work. 20 00:01:23,925 --> 00:01:26,334 Save me, Tsisnajini! 21 00:01:34,336 --> 00:01:35,194 I'm stuck! 22 00:01:35,369 --> 00:01:36,832 And I have to pee. 23 00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:39,154 Now I'm just stuck. 24 00:01:43,580 --> 00:01:44,822 Don't worry, Homer. 25 00:01:44,977 --> 00:01:48,431 We'll get that fireman who cut you out of that teacup ride. 26 00:01:48,849 --> 00:01:51,283 That was two firemen, a crane and snow white. 27 00:01:51,430 --> 00:01:52,732 Why you little...! 28 00:01:57,808 --> 00:01:59,913 This chamber's not on the map! 29 00:02:00,015 --> 00:02:03,311 We could be stuck in here forever if we don't find a way out! 30 00:02:03,361 --> 00:02:05,268 Well, we better start looking. 31 00:02:05,808 --> 00:02:06,597 Don't leave me! 32 00:02:06,805 --> 00:02:07,899 I hate to be alone! 33 00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:10,029 Except when I'm watching TV, then leave me alone. 34 00:02:10,132 --> 00:02:11,595 But right now, don't leave! 35 00:02:11,607 --> 00:02:12,968 I'll stay with you, dad. 36 00:02:13,016 --> 00:02:14,331 Will you tell me a story? 37 00:02:14,454 --> 00:02:15,048 Sure. 38 00:02:15,306 --> 00:02:17,298 Once upon a time, in a far-off kingdom... 39 00:02:17,322 --> 00:02:18,312 No unicorns. 40 00:02:19,368 --> 00:02:20,098 All right... 41 00:02:20,317 --> 00:02:22,979 I'll tell you something that happened to me last week. 42 00:02:22,979 --> 00:02:24,862 I was walking home from school... 43 00:02:24,997 --> 00:02:26,681 when suddenly I heard... 44 00:02:29,412 --> 00:02:31,112 Hello, Mr. Bighorn sheep! 45 00:02:33,918 --> 00:02:34,933 I've read about you. 46 00:02:35,119 --> 00:02:37,700 You're shy, and you rarely approach humans. 47 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:44,202 And of course you'd never attack a fellow herbivore! 48 00:02:51,263 --> 00:02:52,849 Mad beast! 49 00:02:52,992 --> 00:02:54,221 Liberal midget! 50 00:02:58,655 --> 00:02:59,595 Good lord! 51 00:02:59,611 --> 00:03:00,815 A wooly bully! 52 00:03:03,798 --> 00:03:04,893 Run! Run! 53 00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:06,932 Come on. 54 00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:13,558 Enter password. 55 00:03:13,751 --> 00:03:14,917 Damn it! I forget! 56 00:03:14,978 --> 00:03:16,149 Forgot password? 57 00:03:16,336 --> 00:03:17,631 Enter place of birth. 58 00:03:17,651 --> 00:03:19,793 Pangaea. 59 00:03:19,974 --> 00:03:23,106 Correct. Your password has been e-mailed to you. 60 00:03:31,673 --> 00:03:33,508 So long, sucker! 61 00:03:34,093 --> 00:03:37,231 I mean, don't leave an old man to die. 62 00:03:38,157 --> 00:03:39,558 So long, sucker! 63 00:03:54,533 --> 00:03:55,726 Maybe Mr. Smithers 64 00:03:55,763 --> 00:03:56,550 will help us. 65 00:03:56,636 --> 00:03:58,848 No, he's out getting a spray-on tan. 66 00:03:59,112 --> 00:04:01,392 He comes back orange and stains the furniture. 67 00:04:01,436 --> 00:04:03,114 The man's a walking creamsicle! 68 00:04:05,725 --> 00:04:07,680 You worked at Moe's? 69 00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:11,713 Yes... and therein lies a tale of woe and heartbreak. 70 00:04:11,823 --> 00:04:14,134 One I couldn't possibly recount. 71 00:04:14,220 --> 00:04:15,189 I understand. 72 00:04:15,250 --> 00:04:16,704 I'll just read a magazine. 73 00:04:17,010 --> 00:04:18,316 Okay, here's the story: 74 00:04:18,335 --> 00:04:20,607 I belong to a very exclusive club, 75 00:04:20,975 --> 00:04:22,894 the excluders' club. 76 00:04:23,525 --> 00:04:26,965 One day, while I was savoring the exclusivity... 77 00:04:27,047 --> 00:04:28,309 Wait, wait, wait, wait... 78 00:04:28,342 --> 00:04:31,337 Now you're telling me Burns's story? 79 00:04:31,515 --> 00:04:33,905 Yeah it's like the play within a play in Hamlet. 80 00:04:34,519 --> 00:04:35,244 Let's see... 81 00:04:35,258 --> 00:04:38,602 it's like when you watch old home movies of you watching TV. 82 00:04:38,664 --> 00:04:39,746 Gotcha. 83 00:04:41,536 --> 00:04:43,712 One day a new member arrived at the club... 84 00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:48,259 Who's this dried-up ol' apricot? 85 00:04:50,632 --> 00:04:51,579 I'm in oil. 86 00:04:51,628 --> 00:04:52,931 What's your racket, slim? 87 00:04:53,090 --> 00:04:54,436 Nuclear power. 88 00:04:54,738 --> 00:04:57,492 I make money using my brain, not sticking a 89 00:04:57,553 --> 00:05:00,147 pole in the ground and praying for goo. 90 00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:04,675 You need to get your hands dirty, poindexter! 91 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:07,281 Dip 'em in a little Texas crude! 92 00:05:08,302 --> 00:05:12,486 Down in Houston, we call that a fort worth shampoo! 93 00:05:13,549 --> 00:05:16,423 Sir, I challenge you to a duel! 94 00:05:16,799 --> 00:05:17,717 You got it! 95 00:05:17,937 --> 00:05:20,420 A bullet in the brain at high noon! 96 00:05:22,938 --> 00:05:24,739 At my age, that could kill me! 97 00:05:25,089 --> 00:05:27,302 How about we settle things with a scavenger hunt? 98 00:05:27,413 --> 00:05:29,122 You're on, twiggy! 99 00:05:29,417 --> 00:05:30,769 Sorry 'bout that. 100 00:05:31,369 --> 00:05:33,520 Gentlemen, you will each be given 101 00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,780 an identical list of ten items. 102 00:05:36,032 --> 00:05:39,684 The first person to collect all items on said list 103 00:05:39,721 --> 00:05:44,646 is the winner, and shall receive all of his opponent's worldly possessions. 104 00:05:46,228 --> 00:05:48,726 I'm gonna win me a nucular plant! 105 00:05:48,984 --> 00:05:50,703 Dream on, bitch. 106 00:05:55,153 --> 00:05:56,039 Scavengers... 107 00:05:56,425 --> 00:05:57,388 scavenge! 108 00:06:12,858 --> 00:06:14,259 I'm bald! 109 00:06:19,205 --> 00:06:22,221 I had but one item left on the list... 110 00:06:22,435 --> 00:06:24,892 a picture of myself with a smiling child. 111 00:06:26,193 --> 00:06:27,547 what could be easier? 112 00:06:29,758 --> 00:06:31,834 It's the boogeyman's grandfather! 113 00:06:32,731 --> 00:06:34,111 He's gonna drink our bones! 114 00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:36,174 Smile! Like this! 115 00:06:45,570 --> 00:06:46,357 I won! 116 00:06:46,529 --> 00:06:48,646 Everything yours is mine! 117 00:06:50,889 --> 00:06:53,500 Hiyo, Smithers! Away! 118 00:06:56,412 --> 00:06:57,949 With nowhere else to turn, 119 00:06:57,961 --> 00:07:00,409 I spent the first three days with relatives. 120 00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,371 I had to get a job. 121 00:07:03,735 --> 00:07:05,543 And I had to start at the bottom. 122 00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:09,535 But to get to the bottom, I had to work my way up from Moe. 123 00:07:11,886 --> 00:07:14,193 Hey, bar-boy, this table's wobbly. 124 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,918 Come jam your foot under it. 125 00:07:17,379 --> 00:07:19,161 sHey, bar-boy, write a play where I meet 126 00:07:19,210 --> 00:07:21,000 Henry Ford and captain Kirk. 127 00:07:21,538 --> 00:07:23,917 Hey, bar-boy, dance around like an idiot. 128 00:07:23,948 --> 00:07:24,918 Like this! 129 00:07:25,042 --> 00:07:26,592 I'm so stupid! 130 00:07:26,715 --> 00:07:28,178 I'm so stupid! 131 00:07:28,293 --> 00:07:29,608 I'm a little busy. 132 00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:30,633 Can I do it later? 133 00:07:30,727 --> 00:07:31,330 Sure! 134 00:07:32,381 --> 00:07:34,563 You're gonna be all I'm so stupid! 135 00:07:34,612 --> 00:07:36,117 I'm so stupid! 136 00:07:36,201 --> 00:07:37,747 I'm so stupid!" 137 00:07:39,902 --> 00:07:42,312 Burns sure will look like a jerk later! 138 00:07:42,736 --> 00:07:45,404 At $5.15 an hour, it would take an eternity 139 00:07:45,404 --> 00:07:46,592 to make my fortune back... 140 00:07:46,645 --> 00:07:48,274 and fica wasn't helping. 141 00:07:49,865 --> 00:07:54,235 But then, for once in my life, things went my way. 142 00:07:58,881 --> 00:08:01,655 I steamed the letter open with Moe's cappuccino machine. 143 00:08:02,314 --> 00:08:04,279 If you're reading this, I am dead, 144 00:08:04,470 --> 00:08:08,442 and you are about to learn the story of my treasure. 145 00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:09,093 Treasure?! 146 00:08:09,453 --> 00:08:10,327 Treasure?! 147 00:08:10,675 --> 00:08:12,871 Moe has a cappuccino machine?! 148 00:08:17,140 --> 00:08:19,081 we couldn't find a way out. 149 00:08:19,409 --> 00:08:23,040 But on the up side, I found some cave paintings and made them awesome. 150 00:08:25,534 --> 00:08:27,600 Boy, come here and listen to Lisa's story. 151 00:08:27,806 --> 00:08:29,913 It's about Moe's treasure. 152 00:08:31,580 --> 00:08:32,937 So to contin... 153 00:08:33,062 --> 00:08:33,448 ...ue with 154 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:34,564 the sad sto... 155 00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:36,235 ...Ry of Moe's treasure. 156 00:08:36,448 --> 00:08:38,097 It was the first day of summer. 157 00:08:39,812 --> 00:08:41,815 I was heading to the restaurant supply store 158 00:08:41,903 --> 00:08:45,064 to buy some urinal cake mix when I was suddenly sideswiped... 159 00:08:45,565 --> 00:08:46,369 by love. 160 00:08:49,621 --> 00:08:53,034 There she was, the gorgeous new girl in town, Edna Krabappel. 161 00:08:56,022 --> 00:08:57,399 You poor man. 162 00:08:57,500 --> 00:09:00,034 She had gossamer hair, limpid eyes 163 00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,442 and the rack of an angel. 164 00:09:03,184 --> 00:09:04,353 I see you're new to town. 165 00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:05,933 Maybe I could show you around. 166 00:09:05,975 --> 00:09:07,425 I know a terrific tavern. 167 00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,957 My ex-husband was a drunk. 168 00:09:10,073 --> 00:09:15,113 I hate bars, saloons, nightclubs, and most of all, taverns. 169 00:09:15,164 --> 00:09:16,291 Yeah, me, too. 170 00:09:16,316 --> 00:09:18,298 That's why I'm not a tavern keeper. 171 00:09:18,528 --> 00:09:19,853 What do you do for a living? 172 00:09:19,988 --> 00:09:20,958 Me? Well... 173 00:09:21,020 --> 00:09:21,980 I, for a living? 174 00:09:22,038 --> 00:09:25,221 Well, there's, all kinds of things a fella can do, 175 00:09:25,252 --> 00:09:28,038 such as hemming and hawing and, but me, 176 00:09:28,099 --> 00:09:29,769 I'm a highly respected... 177 00:09:29,925 --> 00:09:31,251 therapist for alcoholics. 178 00:09:31,594 --> 00:09:32,804 Wow. 179 00:09:36,015 --> 00:09:37,789 I knew that in order to win her love 180 00:09:37,867 --> 00:09:40,017 I needed to get rid of the human garbage 181 00:09:40,030 --> 00:09:42,106 otherwise known as my best friends. 182 00:09:44,380 --> 00:09:45,038 Get out of my... 183 00:09:45,211 --> 00:09:45,816 come on! 184 00:09:48,406 --> 00:09:50,211 Barney, how do you keep getting back in? 185 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,049 I'm a drunk. 186 00:09:51,081 --> 00:09:54,075 I don't know nothing about how I do anything. 187 00:09:57,943 --> 00:10:04,569 Fly me to the moon let me play among the stars 188 00:10:05,099 --> 00:10:07,645 for one sweet summer, I was a true gentleman. 189 00:10:07,804 --> 00:10:10,830 As a result of which, Krabappel was letting me do her. 190 00:10:11,335 --> 00:10:14,382 So, Mrs. Krabappel, you got any plans? 191 00:10:14,445 --> 00:10:18,556 In the fall, I'll be teaching fourth grade at Springfield elementary. 192 00:10:18,623 --> 00:10:19,270 That's great. 193 00:10:19,437 --> 00:10:20,635 Wonderful bunch of kids. 194 00:10:21,823 --> 00:10:25,016 Lab partners don't treat lab partners like this! 195 00:10:25,036 --> 00:10:26,966 Shut up and attract lightning. 196 00:10:30,989 --> 00:10:33,191 Edna, you've made me feel love 197 00:10:33,219 --> 00:10:35,055 where before there was only pain. 198 00:10:35,151 --> 00:10:36,361 Come here, you. 199 00:10:39,443 --> 00:10:40,507 Oh, geez. 200 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:43,601 Hey, Moe. Thanks to you, I've been sober a week. 201 00:10:43,628 --> 00:10:44,473 Yeah, me, too! 202 00:10:44,492 --> 00:10:45,420 We're all sober. 203 00:10:45,839 --> 00:10:48,375 These are some of the local alcoholics I told you about. 204 00:10:48,484 --> 00:10:49,664 Don't pigeonhole us. 205 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,109 We have other vices. 206 00:10:51,212 --> 00:10:52,637 I dress up like a baby. 207 00:10:54,255 --> 00:10:56,801 Come on, guys, let me give you some counseling over here. 208 00:10:57,682 --> 00:11:00,187 Listen, boozebags, I got a good thing going here. 209 00:11:00,425 --> 00:11:02,835 If you mess it up, I will out the one of you that is gay. 210 00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:07,519 So, where were we? 211 00:11:11,656 --> 00:11:13,493 I had to get Edna out of Springfield, 212 00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:15,881 make a fresh start in a new town far away, 213 00:11:16,188 --> 00:11:18,619 a place where we can play bridge with our neighbors. 214 00:11:18,734 --> 00:11:21,583 And if they're interested in wife-swapping, who am I to say no? 215 00:11:21,660 --> 00:11:22,808 Hey, I'm just the new guy. 216 00:11:23,326 --> 00:11:25,601 But where would I get the money to start a new life? 217 00:11:25,828 --> 00:11:28,791 And then opportunity strolled right in the door. 218 00:11:32,182 --> 00:11:36,325 Yes, well, I need directions to the Springfield natural history museum. 219 00:11:37,032 --> 00:11:39,087 I totally have a donation for them. 220 00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:42,453 Coins money gold! 221 00:11:42,716 --> 00:11:46,013 See, this was back before snake became a notorious jailbird, 222 00:11:46,149 --> 00:11:49,592 when he was an idealisc, law-abiding young archaeologist. 223 00:11:49,795 --> 00:11:52,164 I was, like, excavating this mayan pyramid, 224 00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:55,111 and I totally unearth these gold coins, and I'm all like, 225 00:11:55,424 --> 00:11:57,709 could you be any more pre-columbian? 226 00:11:58,133 --> 00:12:00,105 You can't donate that gold to the museum today, 227 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:02,713 because, it's closed, so they can clean 228 00:12:02,714 --> 00:12:04,736 under the wangs on the statues. 229 00:12:05,729 --> 00:12:07,534 Well, no problem. I'll just spend the night 230 00:12:07,559 --> 00:12:09,411 in that motel across the street there. 231 00:12:10,389 --> 00:12:12,259 Love had handed me an awful dilemma. 232 00:12:12,366 --> 00:12:15,129 Should I rob this guy or rob him and kill him? 233 00:12:15,731 --> 00:12:17,359 I decided to do the right thing. 234 00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:29,422 I've been robbed! 235 00:12:29,605 --> 00:12:31,995 I'll take my revenge on society... 236 00:12:32,057 --> 00:12:34,081 by which, I mean convenience stores. 237 00:12:34,192 --> 00:12:37,656 And who would suspect me, professor Jailbird?! 238 00:12:41,784 --> 00:12:44,632 Before we left town for good, we had to make one stop, 239 00:12:44,819 --> 00:12:47,386 so she could tell the school she wouldn't be teaching there. 240 00:12:47,647 --> 00:12:50,715 Back in a flash, my sweet little gargoyle! 241 00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:57,761 I was the happiest guy in the world. 242 00:12:58,056 --> 00:13:01,990 But fate likes to play a little game called up yours, Moe. 243 00:13:02,965 --> 00:13:04,624 Moe, we need to talk. 244 00:13:04,851 --> 00:13:07,465 About what? How nothing changed when you were in there? 245 00:13:07,541 --> 00:13:08,585 Not exactly. 246 00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:10,993 You see, when I went inside... 247 00:13:13,717 --> 00:13:15,230 Young man, it's summertime. 248 00:13:15,335 --> 00:13:16,567 What are you doing here? 249 00:13:16,628 --> 00:13:18,225 I've got detention all summer. 250 00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:19,299 Why? 251 00:13:19,653 --> 00:13:21,062 Because I'm a screwup. 252 00:13:21,318 --> 00:13:22,873 My sister's the smart one. 253 00:13:23,021 --> 00:13:24,502 All I do is get in trouble. 254 00:13:25,340 --> 00:13:27,426 Sweetheart, do you want to do better? 255 00:13:27,644 --> 00:13:29,199 It doesn't matter. 256 00:13:29,378 --> 00:13:31,246 Everyone's pretty much given up on me. 257 00:13:31,612 --> 00:13:34,158 I bet I won't even make it through fourth grade. 258 00:13:37,325 --> 00:13:39,485 You'lle it through fourth grade, 259 00:13:39,592 --> 00:13:41,995 because I'm going to stay here and be your teacher. 260 00:13:42,203 --> 00:13:43,539 Wait, wait, wait. 261 00:13:43,667 --> 00:13:46,296 There's one thing I don't understand here. 262 00:13:46,403 --> 00:13:48,771 You never had detention all summer. 263 00:13:49,190 --> 00:13:50,484 That load of crap? 264 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:54,690 No, I was just keeping her busy while Nelson stole microscopes. 265 00:13:54,770 --> 00:13:55,630 Make with the story. 266 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,810 Well, my best recollection of Burns' paraphrasing 267 00:13:57,810 --> 00:14:01,800 of what he read in moe's letter is that Krabappel told Moe... 268 00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:04,130 I have to stay here in Springfield, because boys 269 00:14:04,130 --> 00:14:06,060 like Bart Simpson need me... 270 00:14:06,450 --> 00:14:09,700 sweet, misunderstood boys, who just need someone to recognize 271 00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:12,560 the basic goodness that's trapped inside them 272 00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:14,680 and is desperately trying to get out. 273 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:18,730 There was nothing I could do. 274 00:14:19,430 --> 00:14:20,860 Well, except go nuts. 275 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:22,370 You crazy skirt! 276 00:14:22,490 --> 00:14:24,560 Nobody backs out on fake good Moe! 277 00:14:24,650 --> 00:14:26,550 I ought to...! 278 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,390 why do you all...! 279 00:14:34,110 --> 00:14:41,690 in other words I love... 280 00:14:42,710 --> 00:14:44,690 If I couldn't spend the treasure on Edna, 281 00:14:44,690 --> 00:14:45,870 I didn't want to spend it. 282 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:49,070 I just sat there playing our song on the jukebox, 283 00:14:49,380 --> 00:14:52,150 one gold... coin at a time." 284 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:55,480 Oh, you poor man. 285 00:14:55,990 --> 00:14:58,700 You're about to get a lot poorer. 286 00:15:05,390 --> 00:15:08,430 okay, I'll take your gold and give you back all 287 00:15:08,430 --> 00:15:10,010 your worldly possessions, 288 00:15:10,270 --> 00:15:12,280 'ceptin' your nucular plant. 289 00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:15,150 You don't get that back till you bring me 290 00:15:15,150 --> 00:15:17,990 a photo of yourself with a smiling child. 291 00:15:19,410 --> 00:15:21,360 what the hell could that mean to you? 292 00:15:21,430 --> 00:15:22,960 I'm obsessive-compulsive! 293 00:15:24,470 --> 00:15:25,320 One, two, three, four. 294 00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:27,210 One, two, three, four. 295 00:15:28,330 --> 00:15:29,210 One, two, three, four. 296 00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:33,800 No nucular plant without a photo. 297 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:34,700 One, two, three, four. 298 00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:35,960 That's where we left off. 299 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:36,780 One, two, three, four. 300 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,930 So, without my beloved nuclear plant, 301 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,460 I have nothing to live for. 302 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:53,570 Take me, a barren old thistle, and spare this sweet young flower. 303 00:16:04,980 --> 00:16:06,210 My pearl necklace. 304 00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:09,120 I must have lost it, and you were just bringing it back to me? 305 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:13,910 How did you find this? 306 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:26,770 The sheep was no danger at all. 307 00:16:27,030 --> 00:16:29,660 I sacrificed my gorgeous body for nothing. 308 00:16:29,850 --> 00:16:31,690 This must be what it's like to have a baby. 309 00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:35,700 I want a photo of the hero who risked his life to save me. 310 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,370 A picture of me with a smiling child. 311 00:16:46,430 --> 00:16:48,410 I can get my plant back! 312 00:16:51,370 --> 00:16:53,180 100 industrial way! 313 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,360 Mr. Burns got his plant back, and I like to think 314 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,330 I found a shred of humanity in his withered soul. 315 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:04,050 Dad, did my story make you cry? 316 00:17:06,220 --> 00:17:08,920 Well, it was very moving, but the thing is, 317 00:17:09,230 --> 00:17:11,680 bats are chewing my legs! 318 00:17:17,950 --> 00:17:21,230 Why did I lead you down here to find those stupid coins? 319 00:17:25,530 --> 00:17:28,520 Homer, you brought us to this horrible place on purpose? 320 00:17:29,110 --> 00:17:30,650 You didn't think it was so horrible 321 00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,480 when you were falling down the hole. 322 00:17:32,570 --> 00:17:34,820 That was the most horrible part of all! 323 00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:36,640 Well, I guess I should explain. 324 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,650 Not long ago, it was my day to take care of the baby, 325 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:41,920 so I was out in the forest, hiding. 326 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:48,310 The yellow gold of texas is what I want to save 327 00:17:48,580 --> 00:17:52,300 I will not pay no taxes if I hide it in a cave. 328 00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:58,220 I deduced from his parody lyrics that he was hiding gold in the cave. 329 00:18:00,750 --> 00:18:03,090 I figured he'd never miss two or three pieces... 330 00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:06,190 money which we could use to pay for Bart's operation. 331 00:18:07,010 --> 00:18:08,080 I need an operation? 332 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,400 That's a story for another day. 333 00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:13,990 I realized I could never find the gold without your help, 334 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,820 so I made it this week's family outing. 335 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:20,250 I'll take that gold, if'n you please. 336 00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:21,480 How can you take it? 337 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:22,770 We haven't found it. 338 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,000 It's right there behind that rock. 339 00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:26,620 No, to your left. 340 00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:30,880 Texas left, which is your "down." 341 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,920 I'll take that gold, if'n you please. 342 00:18:37,470 --> 00:18:39,870 Not so fast, shady Bird Johnson! 343 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:42,200 I'll take that gold. 344 00:18:42,370 --> 00:18:43,210 Yeah, you'll take it. 345 00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:45,910 And then you'll give it to me, if you know what's good for ya. 346 00:18:47,030 --> 00:18:48,230 you guys have guns? 347 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:49,660 Well, so do I. 348 00:18:54,820 --> 00:18:56,990 Coolest entrance gets the gold. 349 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,870 Is it okay that I brought my son? 350 00:19:01,870 --> 00:19:03,080 This is my day with him. 351 00:19:03,270 --> 00:19:05,330 Jeremy, there's a boy over there you can play with. 352 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:07,690 Do you like XBox? 353 00:19:08,740 --> 00:19:11,790 Looks like we got us a mexican standoff. 354 00:19:30,950 --> 00:19:34,650 If you all don't drop your guns and behave, no one gets the gold. 355 00:19:36,090 --> 00:19:38,480 And why do you really want it anyway? 356 00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:41,720 Moe, will the gold bring back Edna's love? 357 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:43,220 It could. Definitely. 358 00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:48,470 Mr. Burns, isn't it more important that you got a child to smile at you? 359 00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:51,070 Honestly, no, I'd rather have the gold. 360 00:19:51,220 --> 00:19:51,950 Absolutely. 361 00:19:51,950 --> 00:19:53,340 I couldn't agree more. 362 00:19:53,450 --> 00:19:55,900 I can see there's only one way to 363 00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:58,240 turn you into human beings again. 364 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:06,780 Lady, I oughta fill you full of... gratitude! 365 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:10,540 That gold was turning us into monsters. 366 00:20:10,790 --> 00:20:13,720 Well, I know a place where we can atone for our misdeeds. 367 00:20:14,010 --> 00:20:16,200 They're building a youth center in Shelbyville 368 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,050 and totally need volunteers. 369 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:19,860 Let's go there now! 370 00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:21,330 Yes, let's. 371 00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:24,040 I'll...I'll catch up with you. 372 00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:31,660 And that's why I didn't have time to study for my geography test. 373 00:20:31,850 --> 00:20:33,670 Bart, do you expect me to believe that? 374 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:35,630 That story is the biggest load of... 375 00:20:35,990 --> 00:20:37,050 Krabappel? 376 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,290 Making out with Moe? 377 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,010 But I thought you didn't want to date a tavern owner. 378 00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:46,070 At this point, all I want's a man with a healthy libido. 379 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,240 Well, this is where it gets awkward again. 380 00:20:51,690 --> 00:20:53,180 Moe can't catch a break! 381 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:54,100 One, two, three, four. 382 00:20:54,290 --> 00:20:55,110 Can't catch a break. 383 00:20:55,340 --> 00:20:56,120 One, two, three, four. 384 00:20:56,170 --> 00:20:57,040 Can't catch a break. 385 00:20:57,180 --> 00:20:58,010 One, two, three, four. 386 00:20:58,340 --> 00:20:59,750 And there's some producers. 387 00:21:00,110 --> 00:21:01,890 One, two, three, four. 388 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:03,150 Four producers. 389 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,650 transcript: scarfo synchro: Ale, Marcel & Toki 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net