1 00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:09,717 "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe" 2 00:00:37,937 --> 00:00:39,789 Oh, you hate to see this. 3 00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:41,374 I love to see this! 4 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,474 Now the other players are joining in. 5 00:00:43,599 --> 00:00:45,849 Someone could lose a tooth! 6 00:00:46,839 --> 00:00:49,006 This is no time to pat the bunny, Maggie. 7 00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:51,719 Daddy's watching a very important Mid-Atlantic 8 00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:54,363 Hockey League Conference Semifinal do-over game. 9 00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:57,096 'cause we enter the seventh amazing overtime, 10 00:00:57,221 --> 00:01:00,186 the members of Sesame Street on Ice wait impatiently 11 00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:02,752 to begin their matinee performance. 12 00:01:02,877 --> 00:01:05,512 Hold the Black Label, Mabel! The Utica Mohawks' 13 00:01:05,637 --> 00:01:08,330 Pete Mavroudis has broken through the 'topes' defense! 14 00:01:08,455 --> 00:01:09,669 Stop him, Babando! 15 00:01:09,794 --> 00:01:12,763 He winds up for the shot, and Delacroix slides in front! 16 00:01:12,888 --> 00:01:15,157 You're supposed to be spending time with your daughter. 17 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,336 I will when it's not sports season. 18 00:01:17,461 --> 00:01:19,679 Now I just want to know how the game ends. 19 00:01:19,804 --> 00:01:21,842 And this game is over! 20 00:01:21,967 --> 00:01:23,315 Unbelievable! 21 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,502 You'll never see anything like that again! 22 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,878 So that will do it from Wayne Bockhorn, 23 00:01:28,003 --> 00:01:30,630 Jean-Pierre Pétomane, and me, Doc Jacques Lalonde, 24 00:01:30,755 --> 00:01:33,843 here at Utica's Kill-Kwik Rat Poison Arena. 25 00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:35,384 What-what's the score?! 26 00:01:35,509 --> 00:01:37,769 Now stay tuned for Picking the Perfect Apple, 27 00:01:37,894 --> 00:01:39,306 it's already in progress. 28 00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,353 D'oh! The score, damn you! 29 00:01:41,478 --> 00:01:43,769 - Once again, today's final score... - Yeah? 30 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,004 is already in the books. Good night! 31 00:01:46,378 --> 00:01:50,394 I will never... know... the score! 32 00:01:50,519 --> 00:01:53,446 You want to know the score? I'll tell you the score. 33 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,532 Oh, Marge. This is a definite high point for our marriage. 34 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,617 - Here's the score, mister... - Yes? 35 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,387 Your daughter barely knows who you are! 36 00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:02,837 That's ridiculous. 37 00:02:02,962 --> 00:02:04,560 Who's your daddy, Maggie? 38 00:02:04,685 --> 00:02:06,226 Who's your daddy? 39 00:02:12,564 --> 00:02:14,633 - He is pretty good with her. - Oh! 40 00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:29,794 Look, Marge, it's just what you want me spending the day with Muggsy. 41 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:30,775 Maggie! 42 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:32,880 Marge, you're not Naggy. 43 00:02:33,005 --> 00:02:35,112 You just set the bar impossibly high. 44 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,472 Can you at least bring a sweater for Maggie? 45 00:02:37,597 --> 00:02:38,835 Impossibly high. 46 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:42,453 Now, let's get started on the greatest daddy-daughter day ever! 47 00:02:50,891 --> 00:02:52,265 Not even heated up. 48 00:02:52,390 --> 00:02:53,631 Typical dog. 49 00:03:00,402 --> 00:03:01,806 This is it, Maggie 50 00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:05,032 the place where Daddy goes every morning. 51 00:03:08,041 --> 00:03:10,599 Now, you learn your numbers from these billiard balls 52 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,907 while Daddy gets happier and happier 53 00:03:13,032 --> 00:03:15,287 and then sadder and sadder. 54 00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:20,435 - Moe, what are you doing? - I'm spiffing up the place! 55 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,886 Jeez, can't a guy clean his bar 56 00:03:23,011 --> 00:03:26,175 for the first time ever without people making polite inquiries? 57 00:03:29,264 --> 00:03:31,169 Huh. I got a window here. 58 00:03:32,596 --> 00:03:33,402 Ooh! 59 00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:38,087 Hey, Maggie could play out there, 60 00:03:38,212 --> 00:03:39,869 while I watch her from in here. 61 00:03:39,994 --> 00:03:41,473 What do you say, Maggie? 62 00:03:43,091 --> 00:03:45,516 Aw, her first enabling. 63 00:03:45,951 --> 00:03:48,208 - Hi, Maggie! - Up here, beautiful! 64 00:03:48,333 --> 00:03:50,938 - Yo, Mags! - It's me! Uncle Barney! 65 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,701 Remember I taught you your ABCs. 66 00:03:53,826 --> 00:03:55,223 A-B... 67 00:03:55,411 --> 00:03:56,686 P-K... 68 00:03:57,192 --> 00:03:58,612 R... 69 00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:03,553 So, uh, I suppose you guys are still wondering why I'm cleaning the bar. 70 00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:04,801 Woo! Hey, Maggie! 71 00:04:04,926 --> 00:04:06,466 - Maggie! Maggie! - Hello, Maggie! 72 00:04:06,591 --> 00:04:08,107 - Hello, Maggie! - Hey, Maggie. 73 00:04:08,232 --> 00:04:09,748 Maggie, look-look at my face. 74 00:04:11,913 --> 00:04:13,893 It all began about a month ago... 75 00:04:14,415 --> 00:04:16,024 It was a typical Friday night: 76 00:04:16,149 --> 00:04:18,404 me surfing the Net at the public library, 77 00:04:18,529 --> 00:04:20,913 with occasional drinking fountain breaks. 78 00:04:21,170 --> 00:04:23,916 Ah, just how I like it: warm and rusty. 79 00:04:29,779 --> 00:04:30,968 I couldn't believe it 80 00:04:31,093 --> 00:04:34,163 I finally found an intelligent, sophisticated woman 81 00:04:34,288 --> 00:04:36,802 who hadn't heard any of my knock-knock jokes. 82 00:04:39,132 --> 00:04:40,362 "Orange who?" 83 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,449 All right, Moe, give her the punch line nice and easy. 84 00:04:43,668 --> 00:04:46,827 "Orange you glad I didn't say banana?" 85 00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,346 The gargoyle has landed! 86 00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:53,641 "You're funny." 87 00:04:53,766 --> 00:04:54,897 Ooh, very nice. 88 00:04:55,022 --> 00:04:56,886 Now, how can I put this? Um... 89 00:04:57,011 --> 00:05:01,015 "Are you sure you're not actually some creepy guy 90 00:05:01,140 --> 00:05:02,745 in a public library?" 91 00:05:03,421 --> 00:05:05,409 "No. How about you?" 92 00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:11,343 "Actually, there is a much creepier guy right next to me." 93 00:05:11,468 --> 00:05:13,200 You know I'm a woman. 94 00:05:13,325 --> 00:05:15,133 We used to own a cat together! 95 00:05:15,258 --> 00:05:17,257 She had babies! Here's yours! 96 00:05:18,770 --> 00:05:20,754 I would do anything to chat with Maya, 97 00:05:20,879 --> 00:05:23,030 short of actually purchasing a computer. 98 00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:25,190 We decided to take the next big step 99 00:05:25,315 --> 00:05:27,005 exchanging photos. 100 00:05:27,257 --> 00:05:28,799 Okay, this is it. 101 00:05:28,924 --> 00:05:31,246 I finally get to see what she looks like. 102 00:05:31,487 --> 00:05:33,582 Dast I click on this JPEG? 103 00:05:33,784 --> 00:05:35,152 No. I dasn't. 104 00:05:37,673 --> 00:05:38,712 Yes, I dast! 105 00:05:41,519 --> 00:05:43,641 So, what does she look like? 106 00:05:44,868 --> 00:05:45,680 Whoa! 107 00:05:46,297 --> 00:05:47,826 Yeah, she was a knockout. 108 00:05:47,951 --> 00:05:49,437 Which meant I was screwed, 109 00:05:49,562 --> 00:05:52,322 because now I had to send her a picture of me. 110 00:05:53,736 --> 00:05:55,938 All right, before I send this, I'd better, uh, 111 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:59,696 un-beady the eyes, de-Neanderthal the brow, 112 00:05:59,821 --> 00:06:01,691 smooth out my hate lines, 113 00:06:01,816 --> 00:06:04,565 lighten up the ear hair, switch my lips, 114 00:06:04,690 --> 00:06:06,615 then, black tie the whole deal. 115 00:06:06,907 --> 00:06:09,816 Aw, I can't build a relationship on a lie. 116 00:06:09,941 --> 00:06:11,578 The lies come later. 117 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,820 She thinks I'm cute? 118 00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:20,682 Oh, frabjulous day! 119 00:06:20,807 --> 00:06:22,091 Calloo Callay! 120 00:06:23,534 --> 00:06:26,757 So, that's why I'm cleaning things and flushing things, 121 00:06:26,882 --> 00:06:28,804 and making this place look respectable. 122 00:06:31,331 --> 00:06:33,997 She's coming to meet me, here, tonight. 123 00:06:34,817 --> 00:06:36,729 Moe's rat-free tavern! 124 00:06:36,990 --> 00:06:39,113 Oh, uh, hey, Marge. Yeah, yeah, Homer's here. 125 00:06:39,238 --> 00:06:40,469 Oh, oh, you want Homer? 126 00:06:40,594 --> 00:06:42,956 I'm sorry, I thought you meant Himmler. Heinrich Himmler. 127 00:06:43,081 --> 00:06:45,247 You know, the guy who invented the Heimlich "manure"? 128 00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:46,766 Those are two different people! 129 00:06:46,891 --> 00:06:49,195 Yeah, well they're both here, and neither one is your husband. 130 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:50,953 This press conference is over. 131 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:05,007 Oh, Maggie made some new friends. 132 00:07:05,265 --> 00:07:08,447 Aw, burrowing your head into your daddy. 133 00:07:08,572 --> 00:07:11,802 A sign that my baby is happy and confident. 134 00:07:28,952 --> 00:07:30,633 Ah! Yeah. 135 00:07:30,758 --> 00:07:33,872 Okay, she said she'd be here at exactly 8:00. 136 00:07:34,832 --> 00:07:36,743 You calling my girl a liar?! 137 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:41,836 Okay. 138 00:07:45,993 --> 00:07:47,357 I've been stood up. 139 00:07:48,048 --> 00:07:49,786 Moe, I'm down here. 140 00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,471 Oh, you're a little person? 141 00:07:52,596 --> 00:07:56,204 No, I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Uh, what-what's the correct term? 142 00:07:56,329 --> 00:07:58,177 - Little person. - Whoa! 143 00:07:58,302 --> 00:07:59,987 Look at me being polite! 144 00:08:00,112 --> 00:08:02,601 So, aren't you gonna invite me in? 145 00:08:02,726 --> 00:08:04,945 Of course, um, I-I just have... 146 00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:07,293 I have to tidy up the place. Just one sec. 147 00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:12,241 Ooh! 148 00:08:13,005 --> 00:08:14,576 Eh, yeah that's better. 149 00:08:15,091 --> 00:08:17,904 So, Maya, um, have you always been this size, 150 00:08:18,029 --> 00:08:20,298 or is this like a Benjamin Button deal? 151 00:08:21,671 --> 00:08:26,088 No, I mean, it's just that your picture made you look more, uh, life-sized. 152 00:08:26,305 --> 00:08:27,930 Well, that was taken at Legoland. 153 00:08:28,055 --> 00:08:30,467 I was afraid you'd be disappointed in the real me. 154 00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,640 What, are you kidding me? You're the best thing 155 00:08:32,765 --> 00:08:34,663 to come into this bar since cable TV. 156 00:08:34,788 --> 00:08:36,039 And unlike cable TV, 157 00:08:36,164 --> 00:08:39,268 I ain't stealing you from the Chinese restaurant across the street there. 158 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,810 I see you watch ESPN2! 159 00:08:41,935 --> 00:08:43,021 I know! 160 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,586 Yeah, that's great there, Ling Chow. 161 00:08:45,711 --> 00:08:47,693 So, uh, you still want to go out? 162 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,195 - That's why I'm here. - Great. Let me get a car seat. 163 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,156 Car seat? 164 00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:53,532 Yeah, I took out the passenger seat to save gas, 165 00:08:53,657 --> 00:08:56,425 but I'm gonna use it now 'cause we're gonna do the town! 166 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,372 So instead of getting a new bar sign, 167 00:09:02,497 --> 00:09:05,538 I saved 300 bucks by changing my name to Moe. 168 00:09:05,663 --> 00:09:08,297 Moe! You eat alone again tonight, huh? 169 00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,914 Table for one! Facing the wall! 170 00:09:11,039 --> 00:09:13,557 Whoa, whoa... not so fast, garlic press. 171 00:09:13,682 --> 00:09:15,430 I'm here with my date. 172 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,847 She's beautiful! 173 00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:18,630 But so far away. 174 00:09:22,737 --> 00:09:25,449 Mmm, you're a good kisser. 175 00:09:25,661 --> 00:09:26,548 Yeah. 176 00:09:26,673 --> 00:09:30,068 I practice by siphoning gas out of other people's tanks. 177 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,159 But I never tasted super-premium 178 00:09:32,284 --> 00:09:34,072 that was half as good as you. 179 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,419 Oh, Moe. 180 00:09:36,459 --> 00:09:37,305 Yeah. 181 00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:45,334 How did your date go, Moe? 182 00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:47,830 Incredible. I've never felt like this before. 183 00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:50,148 It's like my heart wants to do her. 184 00:09:51,042 --> 00:09:52,716 So, when are we gonna meet her? 185 00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:55,563 Oh, I can't wait till you guys get to, um.... 186 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,851 Yep, that's what we'd do! 187 00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:05,187 Uh, let me ask you guys something. 188 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,856 How would you treat a person who's generally dynamite 189 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:11,360 but, uh, in some way a little different? 190 00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,156 You mean like how we treat Homer? 191 00:10:13,281 --> 00:10:14,947 'Cause he can't remember limericks? 192 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,188 I can, too! 193 00:10:16,313 --> 00:10:17,689 There once was this guy 194 00:10:17,814 --> 00:10:20,881 from an island off the coast of Massachusetts, uh... 195 00:10:21,006 --> 00:10:23,081 Nantucket, I think it was. 196 00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:26,488 Anyway, he had the most unusual personal characteristic, 197 00:10:26,613 --> 00:10:28,467 which was, uh... 198 00:10:28,668 --> 00:10:29,480 um... 199 00:10:33,797 --> 00:10:36,346 Look at him struggling with the simplest rhyme. 200 00:10:36,471 --> 00:10:38,971 It's A-A-B-B-A, dumb-ass! 201 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,206 There you are! 202 00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:11,441 Aw. Innocent babies whistling nonchalantly. 203 00:11:11,566 --> 00:11:12,504 How sweet. 204 00:11:12,629 --> 00:11:14,956 Maggie will be back to play with you tomorrow. 205 00:11:16,817 --> 00:11:18,070 Come on, Maggie. 206 00:11:18,195 --> 00:11:20,762 - Have some grapefruit. - She seems upset. 207 00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:24,299 Maybe if I lay down a beat on my bongos, that will soothe her. 208 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,941 Dad, do you have any idea what's gotten into Maggie? 209 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:34,095 How would I know? 210 00:11:34,220 --> 00:11:36,262 You've been spending so much time with her. 211 00:11:36,387 --> 00:11:37,529 I have not! 212 00:11:37,777 --> 00:11:39,364 Oh, right. You think I do. 213 00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:40,782 Hmm. 214 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,369 When you leave your children, 215 00:11:44,824 --> 00:11:47,539 do you really know whom you're leaving them with? 216 00:11:47,664 --> 00:11:50,285 Your little angels are safe with me. 217 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,503 Enjoy your second honeymoon! 218 00:11:54,991 --> 00:11:57,957 You, wash me unmentionables! 219 00:11:58,082 --> 00:12:00,185 And, you, preheat the oven 220 00:12:00,310 --> 00:12:02,438 for two children at 450. 221 00:12:04,130 --> 00:12:05,767 When you can't be there, 222 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,538 Prying-Eye Surveillance can. 223 00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:10,854 We take images from your camera, 224 00:12:10,979 --> 00:12:12,997 scramble them, beam them to our orbiting satellite, 225 00:12:13,122 --> 00:12:15,231 unscramble them, then scramble them again, 226 00:12:15,356 --> 00:12:17,825 then unscramble them that all-important final time. 227 00:12:17,950 --> 00:12:19,251 Our competitors claim 228 00:12:19,376 --> 00:12:20,972 we scramble our images too much. 229 00:12:21,097 --> 00:12:24,409 We say, "Can you love your children too much?" 230 00:12:27,734 --> 00:12:30,604 The only thing better than Prying-Eye watching your children 231 00:12:30,729 --> 00:12:32,614 is you watching your children, 232 00:12:32,739 --> 00:12:35,223 and we know that's not gonna happen. 233 00:12:36,206 --> 00:12:37,089 Hmm. 234 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,169 Wait a second, Marge. 235 00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:44,063 Do you really want to use your baby 236 00:12:44,188 --> 00:12:46,328 as a tool to spy on your husband? 237 00:12:46,453 --> 00:12:48,765 - Yes, you do. - I wasn't talking to you. 238 00:12:48,890 --> 00:12:51,053 When you say it, it's not just in your head. 239 00:12:53,653 --> 00:12:55,094 This is where I live. 240 00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,896 Uh, so is there a knob 241 00:12:59,021 --> 00:13:01,118 or an open sesame-type deal, or what? 242 00:13:01,243 --> 00:13:02,912 My house is over there. 243 00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:06,868 You didn't actually think I lived in a tree, did you? 244 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,169 No. Hey, no. Hey, a lot of people live in trees. 245 00:13:10,294 --> 00:13:13,872 Uh, Tarzan, the Berenstain Bears, flood victims. 246 00:13:22,987 --> 00:13:26,221 Umpa-lumpa, we are so small... 247 00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:27,765 Gah! 248 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,385 Why should I be watching anything 249 00:13:29,510 --> 00:13:32,505 when I can look at the most beautiful thing in the world: youse? 250 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:33,885 Mese? 251 00:13:34,010 --> 00:13:35,227 That's right. 252 00:13:35,352 --> 00:13:37,398 Kiss the troll and win a prize. 253 00:13:38,671 --> 00:13:39,489 Yeah. 254 00:13:41,773 --> 00:13:44,489 Listen. There's one thing that keeps bothering me. 255 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:45,748 Is it my religion? 256 00:13:45,873 --> 00:13:48,505 'Cause I am a snake handler, but not an observant one. 257 00:13:48,630 --> 00:13:51,991 If we have kids, they just have to have a ceremony with a cobra 258 00:13:52,116 --> 00:13:54,458 by age three so their grandfather will be happy. 259 00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:55,772 No, that's fine. 260 00:13:55,897 --> 00:13:57,788 It's just that I can't help wondering 261 00:13:57,913 --> 00:14:00,266 why you've never introduced me to anyone you know. 262 00:14:00,391 --> 00:14:03,592 When your mailman waved to us, you made me hide under that traffic cone. 263 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,072 Well, I do know this one couple... 264 00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:08,625 the Simpsons, I believe their name is... 265 00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:10,891 that ain't too judgmental. 266 00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:13,472 She's a stand-up dame, and he's a fall-down drunk. 267 00:14:13,597 --> 00:14:15,357 And, well, we'll make a double date of it. 268 00:14:15,482 --> 00:14:17,242 Now, let's get back to what we were... 269 00:14:17,367 --> 00:14:20,522 Hey, what's going on? Whoa. You turned into a doll! 270 00:14:20,647 --> 00:14:22,670 I just do that to freak people out. 271 00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:24,860 Oh. 272 00:14:30,572 --> 00:14:32,287 Here she is, uh, Homer. 273 00:14:32,412 --> 00:14:34,858 The wonderful girl I been telling you about. 274 00:14:34,983 --> 00:14:36,370 Pleased to meet you. 275 00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:39,160 Uh, perhaps this is inappropriate, 276 00:14:39,285 --> 00:14:41,774 but I have a mechanical question 277 00:14:41,899 --> 00:14:45,467 while the kids are out of the room, that I can't help wondering about. 278 00:14:45,828 --> 00:14:46,635 Ugh! 279 00:14:47,153 --> 00:14:49,187 In a nuclear power plant, 280 00:14:49,312 --> 00:14:53,225 just how is nuclear energy turned into electricity? 281 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,598 Well, if I remember my high school physics, 282 00:14:55,723 --> 00:14:58,109 the controlled nuclear reaction creates steam 283 00:14:58,234 --> 00:14:59,718 which powers a turbine... 284 00:14:59,976 --> 00:15:02,757 Man, oh, man, slap a ring on that! 285 00:15:10,811 --> 00:15:12,053 All right, Homer. 286 00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,385 Let's see what my baby's been up to. 287 00:15:16,142 --> 00:15:18,750 Here we are, Maggie that park you love. 288 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,487 Marge, Moe and Maya are here for our double date. 289 00:15:22,612 --> 00:15:24,252 Oh. Okay, I'm coming. 290 00:15:26,497 --> 00:15:28,646 See you when the moon comes out. 291 00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,329 Man, that made me thirsty. 292 00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,174 For you. 293 00:15:46,936 --> 00:15:49,347 She's beautiful, Moe. 294 00:15:49,472 --> 00:15:51,199 Yeah, she sure is. 295 00:15:58,342 --> 00:15:59,720 Here comes ours, honey. 296 00:16:03,808 --> 00:16:05,068 Would you look at me. 297 00:16:05,193 --> 00:16:07,592 I'm the happiest bartender in the world. 298 00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:10,135 Sorry, fellas. 299 00:16:12,850 --> 00:16:14,677 Maya, there's something I want to ask you. 300 00:16:14,802 --> 00:16:16,010 Um, I... 301 00:16:16,316 --> 00:16:17,987 I don't know why I'm so nervous. 302 00:16:18,112 --> 00:16:20,495 This makes more sense than anything I've ever done. 303 00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:22,549 Well, other than keeping all my Netflix movies 304 00:16:22,674 --> 00:16:24,415 and saying the post office lost 'em. 305 00:16:24,540 --> 00:16:25,892 Anyway, um... 306 00:16:26,260 --> 00:16:27,402 will you marry me? 307 00:16:28,713 --> 00:16:32,157 Are you asking me to be your... little woman? 308 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,660 Well, as long as you don't mind having a small wedding. 309 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,076 And-and we can drink champagne out of an acorn top. 310 00:16:41,351 --> 00:16:44,419 Our first dance will be on the head of a pin! 311 00:16:45,786 --> 00:16:47,519 I've been hogging all the good ones. 312 00:16:47,644 --> 00:16:50,704 All right, now you go, but, uh, hey, keep it short! 313 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,014 Wh-What's the matter, doll? We were just having fun. 314 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,486 I stopped having fun about ten jokes ago, 315 00:16:58,611 --> 00:17:01,106 - and you just kept going. - I'm sorry! I'm sorry! 316 00:17:01,231 --> 00:17:02,544 Oh-Oh, forgive me, kitten. 317 00:17:02,669 --> 00:17:05,003 I mean cat. I mean, tiger. I mean saber-toothed tiger. 318 00:17:05,128 --> 00:17:07,557 - I mean... aah. - I think you should go now. 319 00:17:07,682 --> 00:17:09,579 Okay. I screwed this up pretty bad, 320 00:17:09,704 --> 00:17:11,431 and, uh... and I'm sorry. 321 00:17:12,022 --> 00:17:14,054 How long do you people remember things? 322 00:17:14,179 --> 00:17:15,018 Get out. 323 00:17:20,130 --> 00:17:22,644 Guys, after all the years I've given you advice, 324 00:17:22,769 --> 00:17:24,501 now I need a little advice from you. 325 00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,086 We never follow your advice. 326 00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:28,672 The one time I did, I went to jail for three years. 327 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,503 You made some good friends, didn't you? 328 00:17:30,628 --> 00:17:33,020 Just 'cause you're chained to a guy don't make him your friend. 329 00:17:33,145 --> 00:17:35,518 Tomato, tomahto. Now, how am I gonna win Maya back? 330 00:17:35,643 --> 00:17:37,972 Well, if I've learned anything from romantic comedies, 331 00:17:38,097 --> 00:17:40,890 it's that you got to make a grand, reckless gesture, 332 00:17:41,015 --> 00:17:43,535 the kind that looks like it might blow up in your face. 333 00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:45,480 But what if it blows up in my face? 334 00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:47,503 Uh, with your face, who cares? 335 00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,551 You got to make me shorter, Doc. 336 00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:52,195 Ha, ha. What do you mean? 337 00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:55,397 I mean, take out bones, guts, whatever you got to do 338 00:17:55,522 --> 00:17:57,117 to make me a micro-Moe. 339 00:17:57,285 --> 00:17:59,682 What you're asking is completely unethical. 340 00:17:59,807 --> 00:18:02,872 No licensed physician would perform that operation. 341 00:18:03,558 --> 00:18:05,020 Now close your eyes, 342 00:18:05,145 --> 00:18:08,044 and when you wake up, you will be a woman. 343 00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,223 No, no, no, no. 344 00:18:09,348 --> 00:18:11,488 I-I want to be shorter for a woman. 345 00:18:11,613 --> 00:18:15,025 Uh-oh! I mixed you up with the last guy. 346 00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:18,309 I look nothing like Julie Newmar! 347 00:18:22,194 --> 00:18:24,539 Maya is gonna love the new me! 348 00:18:24,664 --> 00:18:27,147 Moe, why did you do this?! 349 00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:29,980 Well, I ain't done nothing yet, but I'm considering it, 350 00:18:30,105 --> 00:18:32,610 because I want to share your world forever. 351 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:36,044 Moe, if you have to be like me to love me, 352 00:18:36,169 --> 00:18:38,241 then you're not seeing the real me. 353 00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:40,115 Oh, I see you, Maya. 354 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,412 I see you every time I look at the moon. 355 00:18:42,537 --> 00:18:44,893 I see you in puddles after it rains. 356 00:18:45,018 --> 00:18:47,616 I see you in the glazed eye of a barfly 357 00:18:47,741 --> 00:18:49,288 who's had one too many. 358 00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:53,662 So cut me down to size, Doc. 359 00:18:53,787 --> 00:18:56,449 And can you wrap up the bones so my dog can have fun with 'em? 360 00:18:56,574 --> 00:18:59,512 But, Moe, I don't want someone who sees me as short. 361 00:18:59,690 --> 00:19:02,353 I want someone who just sees me as beautiful. 362 00:19:03,429 --> 00:19:04,469 Good-bye. 363 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,154 Okay, no more delays. 364 00:19:09,279 --> 00:19:11,192 I've got to watch this. 365 00:19:22,789 --> 00:19:24,284 I'll save you, Maggie! 366 00:19:28,091 --> 00:19:29,314 I'm telling! 367 00:19:32,498 --> 00:19:33,886 Oh, now what? 368 00:19:39,655 --> 00:19:41,762 Aw, sweetie, you saved me. 369 00:19:41,887 --> 00:19:44,204 Well, I promise that wherever you go in this world, 370 00:19:44,329 --> 00:19:46,090 I will always be there for you. 371 00:19:46,215 --> 00:19:49,003 Oh, Maggie, I love you from the tip of your toes 372 00:19:49,128 --> 00:19:52,233 to the bow on your hair with the red blinking light. 373 00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:55,322 God bless your mother for making you with me. 374 00:19:57,929 --> 00:19:59,511 What you watching, honey? 375 00:19:59,798 --> 00:20:03,117 Homer Simpson, you are a strong finisher. 376 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:05,722 And I'm good at beginnings. 377 00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:16,394 - Uh, what's the matter, Homer? - Not a thing in the world. 378 00:20:16,519 --> 00:20:18,466 Yeah, I wish I could say the same. 379 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,174 Moe, this is a great thing for you. 380 00:20:21,299 --> 00:20:24,262 You went from sitting on the sidelines to getting in the game. 381 00:20:24,387 --> 00:20:26,645 Sometime when you least expect it, 382 00:20:26,770 --> 00:20:29,065 you'll realize that someone loved you. 383 00:20:29,190 --> 00:20:31,533 And that means someone can love you again. 384 00:20:31,658 --> 00:20:33,496 And that'll make you smile. 385 00:20:43,934 --> 00:20:45,764 Hey, Homer was right. 386 00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:50,937 Who'd have thought such a little woman could make me feel so big? 387 00:20:51,062 --> 00:20:53,710 Transcript : Forom.com 388 00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:56,370 Synchro : Job22 389 00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:59,328 For Forom.com & U-Sub.net