1
00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:09,717
"Eeny Teeny Maya Moe"
2
00:00:37,937 --> 00:00:39,789
Oh, you hate to see this.
3
00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:41,374
I love to see this!
4
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,474
Now the other players
are joining in.
5
00:00:43,599 --> 00:00:45,849
Someone could lose a tooth!
6
00:00:46,839 --> 00:00:49,006
This is no time
to pat the bunny, Maggie.
7
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:51,719
Daddy's watching a very
important Mid-Atlantic
8
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:54,363
Hockey League Conference
Semifinal do-over game.
9
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:57,096
'cause we enter the seventh
amazing overtime,
10
00:00:57,221 --> 00:01:00,186
the members of Sesame Street
on Ice wait impatiently
11
00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:02,752
to begin their matinee performance.
12
00:01:02,877 --> 00:01:05,512
Hold the Black Label, Mabel!
The Utica Mohawks'
13
00:01:05,637 --> 00:01:08,330
Pete Mavroudis has broken
through the 'topes' defense!
14
00:01:08,455 --> 00:01:09,669
Stop him, Babando!
15
00:01:09,794 --> 00:01:12,763
He winds up for the shot,
and Delacroix slides in front!
16
00:01:12,888 --> 00:01:15,157
You're supposed to be spending
time with your daughter.
17
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,336
I will when it's not sports season.
18
00:01:17,461 --> 00:01:19,679
Now I just want to know
how the game ends.
19
00:01:19,804 --> 00:01:21,842
And this game is over!
20
00:01:21,967 --> 00:01:23,315
Unbelievable!
21
00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,502
You'll never see anything
like that again!
22
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,878
So that will do it
from Wayne Bockhorn,
23
00:01:28,003 --> 00:01:30,630
Jean-Pierre Pétomane,
and me, Doc Jacques Lalonde,
24
00:01:30,755 --> 00:01:33,843
here at Utica's Kill-Kwik
Rat Poison Arena.
25
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:35,384
What-what's the score?!
26
00:01:35,509 --> 00:01:37,769
Now stay tuned for Picking
the Perfect Apple,
27
00:01:37,894 --> 00:01:39,306
it's already in progress.
28
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,353
D'oh!
The score, damn you!
29
00:01:41,478 --> 00:01:43,769
- Once again, today's final score...
- Yeah?
30
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,004
is already in the books.
Good night!
31
00:01:46,378 --> 00:01:50,394
I will never... know... the score!
32
00:01:50,519 --> 00:01:53,446
You want to know the score?
I'll tell you the score.
33
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,532
Oh, Marge. This is a definite
high point for our marriage.
34
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,617
- Here's the score, mister...
- Yes?
35
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,387
Your daughter barely knows
who you are!
36
00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:02,837
That's ridiculous.
37
00:02:02,962 --> 00:02:04,560
Who's your daddy, Maggie?
38
00:02:04,685 --> 00:02:06,226
Who's your daddy?
39
00:02:12,564 --> 00:02:14,633
- He is pretty good with her.
- Oh!
40
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:29,794
Look, Marge, it's just what you want
me spending the day with Muggsy.
41
00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:30,775
Maggie!
42
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:32,880
Marge, you're not Naggy.
43
00:02:33,005 --> 00:02:35,112
You just set the bar
impossibly high.
44
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,472
Can you at least bring
a sweater for Maggie?
45
00:02:37,597 --> 00:02:38,835
Impossibly high.
46
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:42,453
Now, let's get started on the greatest
daddy-daughter day ever!
47
00:02:50,891 --> 00:02:52,265
Not even heated up.
48
00:02:52,390 --> 00:02:53,631
Typical dog.
49
00:03:00,402 --> 00:03:01,806
This is it, Maggie
50
00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:05,032
the place where Daddy
goes every morning.
51
00:03:08,041 --> 00:03:10,599
Now, you learn your numbers
from these billiard balls
52
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,907
while Daddy gets happier and happier
53
00:03:13,032 --> 00:03:15,287
and then sadder and sadder.
54
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:20,435
- Moe, what are you doing?
- I'm spiffing up the place!
55
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,886
Jeez, can't a guy clean his bar
56
00:03:23,011 --> 00:03:26,175
for the first time ever without people
making polite inquiries?
57
00:03:29,264 --> 00:03:31,169
Huh. I got a window here.
58
00:03:32,596 --> 00:03:33,402
Ooh!
59
00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:38,087
Hey, Maggie could play out there,
60
00:03:38,212 --> 00:03:39,869
while I watch her from in here.
61
00:03:39,994 --> 00:03:41,473
What do you say, Maggie?
62
00:03:43,091 --> 00:03:45,516
Aw, her first enabling.
63
00:03:45,951 --> 00:03:48,208
- Hi, Maggie!
- Up here, beautiful!
64
00:03:48,333 --> 00:03:50,938
- Yo, Mags!
- It's me! Uncle Barney!
65
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,701
Remember I taught you your ABCs.
66
00:03:53,826 --> 00:03:55,223
A-B...
67
00:03:55,411 --> 00:03:56,686
P-K...
68
00:03:57,192 --> 00:03:58,612
R...
69
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:03,553
So, uh, I suppose you guys are still
wondering why I'm cleaning the bar.
70
00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:04,801
Woo!
Hey, Maggie!
71
00:04:04,926 --> 00:04:06,466
- Maggie! Maggie!
- Hello, Maggie!
72
00:04:06,591 --> 00:04:08,107
- Hello, Maggie!
- Hey, Maggie.
73
00:04:08,232 --> 00:04:09,748
Maggie, look-look at my face.
74
00:04:11,913 --> 00:04:13,893
It all began about a month ago...
75
00:04:14,415 --> 00:04:16,024
It was a typical Friday night:
76
00:04:16,149 --> 00:04:18,404
me surfing the Net
at the public library,
77
00:04:18,529 --> 00:04:20,913
with occasional drinking
fountain breaks.
78
00:04:21,170 --> 00:04:23,916
Ah, just how I like it:
warm and rusty.
79
00:04:29,779 --> 00:04:30,968
I couldn't believe it
80
00:04:31,093 --> 00:04:34,163
I finally found an intelligent,
sophisticated woman
81
00:04:34,288 --> 00:04:36,802
who hadn't heard
any of my knock-knock jokes.
82
00:04:39,132 --> 00:04:40,362
"Orange who?"
83
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,449
All right, Moe, give her
the punch line nice and easy.
84
00:04:43,668 --> 00:04:46,827
"Orange you glad
I didn't say banana?"
85
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,346
The gargoyle has landed!
86
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:53,641
"You're funny."
87
00:04:53,766 --> 00:04:54,897
Ooh, very nice.
88
00:04:55,022 --> 00:04:56,886
Now, how can I put this? Um...
89
00:04:57,011 --> 00:05:01,015
"Are you sure you're not
actually some creepy guy
90
00:05:01,140 --> 00:05:02,745
in a public library?"
91
00:05:03,421 --> 00:05:05,409
"No. How about you?"
92
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:11,343
"Actually, there is a much
creepier guy right next to me."
93
00:05:11,468 --> 00:05:13,200
You know I'm a woman.
94
00:05:13,325 --> 00:05:15,133
We used to own a cat together!
95
00:05:15,258 --> 00:05:17,257
She had babies!
Here's yours!
96
00:05:18,770 --> 00:05:20,754
I would do anything
to chat with Maya,
97
00:05:20,879 --> 00:05:23,030
short of actually purchasing
a computer.
98
00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:25,190
We decided to take the next big step
99
00:05:25,315 --> 00:05:27,005
exchanging photos.
100
00:05:27,257 --> 00:05:28,799
Okay, this is it.
101
00:05:28,924 --> 00:05:31,246
I finally get to see
what she looks like.
102
00:05:31,487 --> 00:05:33,582
Dast I click on this JPEG?
103
00:05:33,784 --> 00:05:35,152
No. I dasn't.
104
00:05:37,673 --> 00:05:38,712
Yes, I dast!
105
00:05:41,519 --> 00:05:43,641
So, what does she look like?
106
00:05:44,868 --> 00:05:45,680
Whoa!
107
00:05:46,297 --> 00:05:47,826
Yeah, she was a knockout.
108
00:05:47,951 --> 00:05:49,437
Which meant I was screwed,
109
00:05:49,562 --> 00:05:52,322
because now I had to send her
a picture of me.
110
00:05:53,736 --> 00:05:55,938
All right, before I send this,
I'd better, uh,
111
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:59,696
un-beady the eyes,
de-Neanderthal the brow,
112
00:05:59,821 --> 00:06:01,691
smooth out my hate lines,
113
00:06:01,816 --> 00:06:04,565
lighten up the ear hair,
switch my lips,
114
00:06:04,690 --> 00:06:06,615
then, black tie the whole deal.
115
00:06:06,907 --> 00:06:09,816
Aw, I can't build
a relationship on a lie.
116
00:06:09,941 --> 00:06:11,578
The lies come later.
117
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,820
She thinks I'm cute?
118
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:20,682
Oh, frabjulous day!
119
00:06:20,807 --> 00:06:22,091
Calloo Callay!
120
00:06:23,534 --> 00:06:26,757
So, that's why I'm cleaning things
and flushing things,
121
00:06:26,882 --> 00:06:28,804
and making this place
look respectable.
122
00:06:31,331 --> 00:06:33,997
She's coming to meet me,
here, tonight.
123
00:06:34,817 --> 00:06:36,729
Moe's rat-free tavern!
124
00:06:36,990 --> 00:06:39,113
Oh, uh, hey, Marge.
Yeah, yeah, Homer's here.
125
00:06:39,238 --> 00:06:40,469
Oh, oh, you want Homer?
126
00:06:40,594 --> 00:06:42,956
I'm sorry, I thought you meant Himmler.
Heinrich Himmler.
127
00:06:43,081 --> 00:06:45,247
You know, the guy who invented
the Heimlich "manure"?
128
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:46,766
Those are two different people!
129
00:06:46,891 --> 00:06:49,195
Yeah, well they're both here,
and neither one is your husband.
130
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:50,953
This press conference is over.
131
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:05,007
Oh, Maggie made
some new friends.
132
00:07:05,265 --> 00:07:08,447
Aw, burrowing your head
into your daddy.
133
00:07:08,572 --> 00:07:11,802
A sign that my baby is happy
and confident.
134
00:07:28,952 --> 00:07:30,633
Ah! Yeah.
135
00:07:30,758 --> 00:07:33,872
Okay, she said she'd be here
at exactly 8:00.
136
00:07:34,832 --> 00:07:36,743
You calling my girl a liar?!
137
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:41,836
Okay.
138
00:07:45,993 --> 00:07:47,357
I've been stood up.
139
00:07:48,048 --> 00:07:49,786
Moe, I'm down here.
140
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,471
Oh, you're a little person?
141
00:07:52,596 --> 00:07:56,204
No, I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.
Uh, what-what's the correct term?
142
00:07:56,329 --> 00:07:58,177
- Little person.
- Whoa!
143
00:07:58,302 --> 00:07:59,987
Look at me being polite!
144
00:08:00,112 --> 00:08:02,601
So, aren't you gonna
invite me in?
145
00:08:02,726 --> 00:08:04,945
Of course, um,
I-I just have...
146
00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:07,293
I have to tidy up the place.
Just one sec.
147
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:12,241
Ooh!
148
00:08:13,005 --> 00:08:14,576
Eh, yeah that's better.
149
00:08:15,091 --> 00:08:17,904
So, Maya, um, have you
always been this size,
150
00:08:18,029 --> 00:08:20,298
or is this like
a Benjamin Button deal?
151
00:08:21,671 --> 00:08:26,088
No, I mean, it's just that your picture
made you look more, uh, life-sized.
152
00:08:26,305 --> 00:08:27,930
Well, that was taken
at Legoland.
153
00:08:28,055 --> 00:08:30,467
I was afraid you'd be
disappointed in the real me.
154
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,640
What, are you kidding me?
You're the best thing
155
00:08:32,765 --> 00:08:34,663
to come into this bar
since cable TV.
156
00:08:34,788 --> 00:08:36,039
And unlike cable TV,
157
00:08:36,164 --> 00:08:39,268
I ain't stealing you from the Chinese
restaurant across the street there.
158
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,810
I see you watch ESPN2!
159
00:08:41,935 --> 00:08:43,021
I know!
160
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,586
Yeah, that's great there,
Ling Chow.
161
00:08:45,711 --> 00:08:47,693
So, uh, you still
want to go out?
162
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,195
- That's why I'm here.
- Great. Let me get a car seat.
163
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,156
Car seat?
164
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:53,532
Yeah, I took out the passenger
seat to save gas,
165
00:08:53,657 --> 00:08:56,425
but I'm gonna use it now
'cause we're gonna do the town!
166
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,372
So instead of getting
a new bar sign,
167
00:09:02,497 --> 00:09:05,538
I saved 300 bucks
by changing my name to Moe.
168
00:09:05,663 --> 00:09:08,297
Moe! You eat alone
again tonight, huh?
169
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,914
Table for one!
Facing the wall!
170
00:09:11,039 --> 00:09:13,557
Whoa, whoa...
not so fast, garlic press.
171
00:09:13,682 --> 00:09:15,430
I'm here with my date.
172
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,847
She's beautiful!
173
00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:18,630
But so far away.
174
00:09:22,737 --> 00:09:25,449
Mmm, you're a good kisser.
175
00:09:25,661 --> 00:09:26,548
Yeah.
176
00:09:26,673 --> 00:09:30,068
I practice by siphoning gas
out of other people's tanks.
177
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,159
But I never tasted super-premium
178
00:09:32,284 --> 00:09:34,072
that was half as good as you.
179
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,419
Oh, Moe.
180
00:09:36,459 --> 00:09:37,305
Yeah.
181
00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:45,334
How did your date go, Moe?
182
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:47,830
Incredible.
I've never felt like this before.
183
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:50,148
It's like my heart wants to do her.
184
00:09:51,042 --> 00:09:52,716
So, when are we gonna meet her?
185
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:55,563
Oh, I can't wait till you guys
get to, um....
186
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,851
Yep, that's what we'd do!
187
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:05,187
Uh, let me ask you guys something.
188
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,856
How would you treat a person
who's generally dynamite
189
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:11,360
but, uh, in some way
a little different?
190
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,156
You mean like how we treat Homer?
191
00:10:13,281 --> 00:10:14,947
'Cause he can't remember limericks?
192
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,188
I can, too!
193
00:10:16,313 --> 00:10:17,689
There once was this guy
194
00:10:17,814 --> 00:10:20,881
from an island off the coast
of Massachusetts, uh...
195
00:10:21,006 --> 00:10:23,081
Nantucket, I think it was.
196
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:26,488
Anyway, he had the most unusual
personal characteristic,
197
00:10:26,613 --> 00:10:28,467
which was, uh...
198
00:10:28,668 --> 00:10:29,480
um...
199
00:10:33,797 --> 00:10:36,346
Look at him struggling
with the simplest rhyme.
200
00:10:36,471 --> 00:10:38,971
It's A-A-B-B-A, dumb-ass!
201
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,206
There you are!
202
00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:11,441
Aw. Innocent babies
whistling nonchalantly.
203
00:11:11,566 --> 00:11:12,504
How sweet.
204
00:11:12,629 --> 00:11:14,956
Maggie will be back
to play with you tomorrow.
205
00:11:16,817 --> 00:11:18,070
Come on, Maggie.
206
00:11:18,195 --> 00:11:20,762
- Have some grapefruit.
- She seems upset.
207
00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:24,299
Maybe if I lay down a beat on
my bongos, that will soothe her.
208
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,941
Dad, do you have any idea
what's gotten into Maggie?
209
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:34,095
How would I know?
210
00:11:34,220 --> 00:11:36,262
You've been spending
so much time with her.
211
00:11:36,387 --> 00:11:37,529
I have not!
212
00:11:37,777 --> 00:11:39,364
Oh, right.
You think I do.
213
00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:40,782
Hmm.
214
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,369
When you leave your children,
215
00:11:44,824 --> 00:11:47,539
do you really know
whom you're leaving them with?
216
00:11:47,664 --> 00:11:50,285
Your little angels are safe with me.
217
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,503
Enjoy your second honeymoon!
218
00:11:54,991 --> 00:11:57,957
You, wash me unmentionables!
219
00:11:58,082 --> 00:12:00,185
And, you, preheat the oven
220
00:12:00,310 --> 00:12:02,438
for two children at 450.
221
00:12:04,130 --> 00:12:05,767
When you can't be there,
222
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,538
Prying-Eye Surveillance can.
223
00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:10,854
We take images from your camera,
224
00:12:10,979 --> 00:12:12,997
scramble them, beam them
to our orbiting satellite,
225
00:12:13,122 --> 00:12:15,231
unscramble them,
then scramble them again,
226
00:12:15,356 --> 00:12:17,825
then unscramble them
that all-important final time.
227
00:12:17,950 --> 00:12:19,251
Our competitors claim
228
00:12:19,376 --> 00:12:20,972
we scramble our images too much.
229
00:12:21,097 --> 00:12:24,409
We say, "Can you love
your children too much?"
230
00:12:27,734 --> 00:12:30,604
The only thing better than
Prying-Eye watching your children
231
00:12:30,729 --> 00:12:32,614
is you watching your children,
232
00:12:32,739 --> 00:12:35,223
and we know that's not gonna happen.
233
00:12:36,206 --> 00:12:37,089
Hmm.
234
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,169
Wait a second, Marge.
235
00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:44,063
Do you really want to use your baby
236
00:12:44,188 --> 00:12:46,328
as a tool to spy on your husband?
237
00:12:46,453 --> 00:12:48,765
- Yes, you do.
- I wasn't talking to you.
238
00:12:48,890 --> 00:12:51,053
When you say it,
it's not just in your head.
239
00:12:53,653 --> 00:12:55,094
This is where I live.
240
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,896
Uh, so is there a knob
241
00:12:59,021 --> 00:13:01,118
or an open sesame-type
deal, or what?
242
00:13:01,243 --> 00:13:02,912
My house is over there.
243
00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:06,868
You didn't actually think I
lived in a tree, did you?
244
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,169
No. Hey, no. Hey, a lot
of people live in trees.
245
00:13:10,294 --> 00:13:13,872
Uh, Tarzan, the Berenstain Bears,
flood victims.
246
00:13:22,987 --> 00:13:26,221
Umpa-lumpa, we are so small...
247
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:27,765
Gah!
248
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,385
Why should I be watching anything
249
00:13:29,510 --> 00:13:32,505
when I can look at the most beautiful
thing in the world: youse?
250
00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:33,885
Mese?
251
00:13:34,010 --> 00:13:35,227
That's right.
252
00:13:35,352 --> 00:13:37,398
Kiss the troll and win a prize.
253
00:13:38,671 --> 00:13:39,489
Yeah.
254
00:13:41,773 --> 00:13:44,489
Listen. There's one thing
that keeps bothering me.
255
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:45,748
Is it my religion?
256
00:13:45,873 --> 00:13:48,505
'Cause I am a snake handler,
but not an observant one.
257
00:13:48,630 --> 00:13:51,991
If we have kids, they just have
to have a ceremony with a cobra
258
00:13:52,116 --> 00:13:54,458
by age three so
their grandfather will be happy.
259
00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:55,772
No, that's fine.
260
00:13:55,897 --> 00:13:57,788
It's just that
I can't help wondering
261
00:13:57,913 --> 00:14:00,266
why you've never introduced me
to anyone you know.
262
00:14:00,391 --> 00:14:03,592
When your mailman waved to us, you
made me hide under that traffic cone.
263
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,072
Well, I do know this one couple...
264
00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:08,625
the Simpsons,
I believe their name is...
265
00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:10,891
that ain't too judgmental.
266
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:13,472
She's a stand-up dame,
and he's a fall-down drunk.
267
00:14:13,597 --> 00:14:15,357
And, well, we'll make
a double date of it.
268
00:14:15,482 --> 00:14:17,242
Now, let's get back
to what we were...
269
00:14:17,367 --> 00:14:20,522
Hey, what's going on?
Whoa. You turned into a doll!
270
00:14:20,647 --> 00:14:22,670
I just do that to freak people out.
271
00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:24,860
Oh.
272
00:14:30,572 --> 00:14:32,287
Here she is, uh, Homer.
273
00:14:32,412 --> 00:14:34,858
The wonderful girl
I been telling you about.
274
00:14:34,983 --> 00:14:36,370
Pleased to meet you.
275
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:39,160
Uh, perhaps this is inappropriate,
276
00:14:39,285 --> 00:14:41,774
but I have a mechanical question
277
00:14:41,899 --> 00:14:45,467
while the kids are out of the room,
that I can't help wondering about.
278
00:14:45,828 --> 00:14:46,635
Ugh!
279
00:14:47,153 --> 00:14:49,187
In a nuclear power plant,
280
00:14:49,312 --> 00:14:53,225
just how is nuclear energy
turned into electricity?
281
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,598
Well, if I remember
my high school physics,
282
00:14:55,723 --> 00:14:58,109
the controlled nuclear reaction
creates steam
283
00:14:58,234 --> 00:14:59,718
which powers a turbine...
284
00:14:59,976 --> 00:15:02,757
Man, oh, man, slap a ring on that!
285
00:15:10,811 --> 00:15:12,053
All right, Homer.
286
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,385
Let's see what my baby's been up to.
287
00:15:16,142 --> 00:15:18,750
Here we are,
Maggie that park you love.
288
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,487
Marge, Moe and Maya are here
for our double date.
289
00:15:22,612 --> 00:15:24,252
Oh. Okay, I'm coming.
290
00:15:26,497 --> 00:15:28,646
See you when the moon comes out.
291
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,329
Man, that made me thirsty.
292
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,174
For you.
293
00:15:46,936 --> 00:15:49,347
She's beautiful, Moe.
294
00:15:49,472 --> 00:15:51,199
Yeah, she sure is.
295
00:15:58,342 --> 00:15:59,720
Here comes ours, honey.
296
00:16:03,808 --> 00:16:05,068
Would you look at me.
297
00:16:05,193 --> 00:16:07,592
I'm the happiest bartender
in the world.
298
00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:10,135
Sorry, fellas.
299
00:16:12,850 --> 00:16:14,677
Maya, there's something
I want to ask you.
300
00:16:14,802 --> 00:16:16,010
Um, I...
301
00:16:16,316 --> 00:16:17,987
I don't know why I'm so nervous.
302
00:16:18,112 --> 00:16:20,495
This makes more sense than
anything I've ever done.
303
00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:22,549
Well, other than keeping
all my Netflix movies
304
00:16:22,674 --> 00:16:24,415
and saying the post office lost 'em.
305
00:16:24,540 --> 00:16:25,892
Anyway, um...
306
00:16:26,260 --> 00:16:27,402
will you marry me?
307
00:16:28,713 --> 00:16:32,157
Are you asking me
to be your... little woman?
308
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,660
Well, as long as you don't
mind having a small wedding.
309
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,076
And-and we can drink
champagne out of an acorn top.
310
00:16:41,351 --> 00:16:44,419
Our first dance will be
on the head of a pin!
311
00:16:45,786 --> 00:16:47,519
I've been hogging all the good ones.
312
00:16:47,644 --> 00:16:50,704
All right, now you go, but,
uh, hey, keep it short!
313
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,014
Wh-What's the matter, doll?
We were just having fun.
314
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,486
I stopped having fun
about ten jokes ago,
315
00:16:58,611 --> 00:17:01,106
- and you just kept going.
- I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
316
00:17:01,231 --> 00:17:02,544
Oh-Oh, forgive me, kitten.
317
00:17:02,669 --> 00:17:05,003
I mean cat. I mean, tiger.
I mean saber-toothed tiger.
318
00:17:05,128 --> 00:17:07,557
- I mean... aah.
- I think you should go now.
319
00:17:07,682 --> 00:17:09,579
Okay.
I screwed this up pretty bad,
320
00:17:09,704 --> 00:17:11,431
and, uh... and I'm sorry.
321
00:17:12,022 --> 00:17:14,054
How long do you people
remember things?
322
00:17:14,179 --> 00:17:15,018
Get out.
323
00:17:20,130 --> 00:17:22,644
Guys, after all the years
I've given you advice,
324
00:17:22,769 --> 00:17:24,501
now I need a little advice from you.
325
00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,086
We never follow your advice.
326
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:28,672
The one time I did, I went
to jail for three years.
327
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,503
You made some good friends,
didn't you?
328
00:17:30,628 --> 00:17:33,020
Just 'cause you're chained
to a guy don't make him your friend.
329
00:17:33,145 --> 00:17:35,518
Tomato, tomahto.
Now, how am I gonna win Maya back?
330
00:17:35,643 --> 00:17:37,972
Well, if I've learned anything
from romantic comedies,
331
00:17:38,097 --> 00:17:40,890
it's that you got to make
a grand, reckless gesture,
332
00:17:41,015 --> 00:17:43,535
the kind that looks like
it might blow up in your face.
333
00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:45,480
But what if it blows up in my face?
334
00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:47,503
Uh, with your face, who cares?
335
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,551
You got to make me shorter, Doc.
336
00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:52,195
Ha, ha.
What do you mean?
337
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:55,397
I mean, take out bones,
guts, whatever you got to do
338
00:17:55,522 --> 00:17:57,117
to make me a micro-Moe.
339
00:17:57,285 --> 00:17:59,682
What you're asking
is completely unethical.
340
00:17:59,807 --> 00:18:02,872
No licensed physician
would perform that operation.
341
00:18:03,558 --> 00:18:05,020
Now close your eyes,
342
00:18:05,145 --> 00:18:08,044
and when you wake up,
you will be a woman.
343
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,223
No, no, no, no.
344
00:18:09,348 --> 00:18:11,488
I-I want to be shorter
for a woman.
345
00:18:11,613 --> 00:18:15,025
Uh-oh! I mixed you up
with the last guy.
346
00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:18,309
I look nothing like Julie Newmar!
347
00:18:22,194 --> 00:18:24,539
Maya is gonna love the new me!
348
00:18:24,664 --> 00:18:27,147
Moe, why did you do this?!
349
00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:29,980
Well, I ain't done nothing yet,
but I'm considering it,
350
00:18:30,105 --> 00:18:32,610
because I want
to share your world forever.
351
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:36,044
Moe, if you have to
be like me to love me,
352
00:18:36,169 --> 00:18:38,241
then you're not seeing the real me.
353
00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:40,115
Oh, I see you, Maya.
354
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,412
I see you every time
I look at the moon.
355
00:18:42,537 --> 00:18:44,893
I see you in puddles after it rains.
356
00:18:45,018 --> 00:18:47,616
I see you
in the glazed eye of a barfly
357
00:18:47,741 --> 00:18:49,288
who's had one too many.
358
00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:53,662
So cut me down to size, Doc.
359
00:18:53,787 --> 00:18:56,449
And can you wrap up the bones
so my dog can have fun with 'em?
360
00:18:56,574 --> 00:18:59,512
But, Moe, I don't want someone
who sees me as short.
361
00:18:59,690 --> 00:19:02,353
I want someone
who just sees me as beautiful.
362
00:19:03,429 --> 00:19:04,469
Good-bye.
363
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,154
Okay, no more delays.
364
00:19:09,279 --> 00:19:11,192
I've got to watch this.
365
00:19:22,789 --> 00:19:24,284
I'll save you, Maggie!
366
00:19:28,091 --> 00:19:29,314
I'm telling!
367
00:19:32,498 --> 00:19:33,886
Oh, now what?
368
00:19:39,655 --> 00:19:41,762
Aw, sweetie, you saved me.
369
00:19:41,887 --> 00:19:44,204
Well, I promise that wherever
you go in this world,
370
00:19:44,329 --> 00:19:46,090
I will always be there for you.
371
00:19:46,215 --> 00:19:49,003
Oh, Maggie, I love you
from the tip of your toes
372
00:19:49,128 --> 00:19:52,233
to the bow on your hair
with the red blinking light.
373
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:55,322
God bless your mother
for making you with me.
374
00:19:57,929 --> 00:19:59,511
What you watching, honey?
375
00:19:59,798 --> 00:20:03,117
Homer Simpson, you are
a strong finisher.
376
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:05,722
And I'm good at beginnings.
377
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:16,394
- Uh, what's the matter, Homer?
- Not a thing in the world.
378
00:20:16,519 --> 00:20:18,466
Yeah, I wish I could say the same.
379
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,174
Moe, this is a great thing for you.
380
00:20:21,299 --> 00:20:24,262
You went from sitting on the sidelines
to getting in the game.
381
00:20:24,387 --> 00:20:26,645
Sometime when you least expect it,
382
00:20:26,770 --> 00:20:29,065
you'll realize
that someone loved you.
383
00:20:29,190 --> 00:20:31,533
And that means
someone can love you again.
384
00:20:31,658 --> 00:20:33,496
And that'll make you smile.
385
00:20:43,934 --> 00:20:45,764
Hey, Homer was right.
386
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:50,937
Who'd have thought such a little woman
could make me feel so big?
387
00:20:51,062 --> 00:20:53,710
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388
00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:56,370
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389
00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:59,328
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