1
00:01:44,183 --> 00:01:49,751
And so, in summary, there are
only two real commandments,
2
00:01:49,871 --> 00:01:52,620
and the other eight are just filler.
3
00:01:52,961 --> 00:01:53,760
I knew it.
4
00:01:54,170 --> 00:01:56,773
And now, I have some exciting news.
5
00:01:56,893 --> 00:01:58,772
Tomorrow will be blessed with a visit
6
00:01:58,807 --> 00:02:02,818
from the highest ranking clergyman
of our Presbylutheran faith,
7
00:02:02,938 --> 00:02:05,212
his holiness, the parson.
8
00:02:06,478 --> 00:02:08,239
The parson? He's coming here?
9
00:02:10,142 --> 00:02:13,467
Oh, my God! She fainted!
Let's go get smelling salts!
10
00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:16,929
Suckers!
11
00:02:19,022 --> 00:02:21,127
Springfielders have
camped out all night
12
00:02:21,162 --> 00:02:24,006
to get a glimpse of the most
saintly person to visit our town
13
00:02:24,126 --> 00:02:27,497
since Mother Teresa
stopped here to gas up her Vespa.
14
00:02:27,532 --> 00:02:30,459
And I'm selling all sorts of
faith-based knick-knacks.
15
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:32,324
Let's take a look.
16
00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:34,541
"I'd commit arson for the parson."
17
00:02:34,661 --> 00:02:36,460
"Clergymen can kiss my apse."
18
00:02:36,580 --> 00:02:37,830
All kinds of gems.
19
00:02:38,230 --> 00:02:40,341
Surprisingly, none of them have sold.
20
00:02:40,376 --> 00:02:41,436
Except for this one.
21
00:02:42,477 --> 00:02:45,791
There you have it.
News has never been softer.
22
00:02:45,911 --> 00:02:48,917
What's that? The parson is here!
23
00:02:50,881 --> 00:02:53,312
Oh, my God! It's him!
The earthly embodiment
24
00:02:53,432 --> 00:02:56,226
of the elected chair of
the national congress of deacons.
25
00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:03,706
Hello, everybody. I hope you didn't
go to all this trouble for little old me.
26
00:03:03,826 --> 00:03:06,955
Parson, Parson. Give us a quick
official church position on family?
27
00:03:07,075 --> 00:03:11,445
Well, in these modern times,
family is more important than ever.
28
00:03:12,129 --> 00:03:13,796
You just made my mustache tingle.
29
00:03:14,984 --> 00:03:16,449
Settle. Settle down.
30
00:03:16,731 --> 00:03:22,169
Now, now. I'm just a man like
any other that has been chosen by God.
31
00:03:22,415 --> 00:03:27,094
I have come here from our world spiritual
headquarters in Michigan City, Indiana
32
00:03:27,129 --> 00:03:30,045
to say, "Keep up the good work."
33
00:03:31,531 --> 00:03:35,459
And now, if you'll excuse me,
I'll do a little speaking with your deacon.
34
00:03:37,044 --> 00:03:39,927
I love to go to church
It's where I like to read
35
00:03:40,047 --> 00:03:44,662
I get a day in of praying
And still tee off by three
36
00:03:47,076 --> 00:03:50,883
Oh, calm down, Tim. He's just your
old roommate from Texas Christian.
37
00:03:51,003 --> 00:03:52,586
He's like the pope of this thing!
38
00:03:52,706 --> 00:03:56,316
This would be like Mary Kay visiting you
when you were selling her cosmetics.
39
00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:58,901
That is if you had stuck with it.
40
00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:01,670
You asked me to quit, because
I was making more than you.
41
00:04:01,790 --> 00:04:02,671
Not now. He's here.
42
00:04:03,946 --> 00:04:05,776
Welcome, Your Holiness.
43
00:04:05,896 --> 00:04:07,701
You'll love what
we've done with the church.
44
00:04:07,821 --> 00:04:10,271
There's fresh wax on all the pews.
45
00:04:10,733 --> 00:04:13,955
Sounds to me like somebody
put on more than just one coat.
46
00:04:14,193 --> 00:04:14,960
Maybe.
47
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,215
Tim, is there somewhere
that we can talk?
48
00:04:17,335 --> 00:04:19,127
Of course. My office.
49
00:04:19,247 --> 00:04:19,874
Perfect.
50
00:04:20,109 --> 00:04:23,273
Walking to your office
is what I like to do
51
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:27,186
Maybe while we're at it
We'll peek in at your pews
52
00:04:28,592 --> 00:04:29,524
Nilla wafer?
53
00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,748
I'll take two if you don't mind.
54
00:04:31,868 --> 00:04:35,773
Tim, I'm here because of a problem
with your last recertification.
55
00:04:35,893 --> 00:04:38,802
When we tried to charge
the filing fee to your credit card,
56
00:04:38,922 --> 00:04:39,976
it was declined.
57
00:04:40,096 --> 00:04:43,210
Oh, yeah. The bank put
on a security hold
58
00:04:43,330 --> 00:04:46,400
after they saw charge
from an offshore poker club.
59
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:50,236
Helen had bought a fireplace poker
from Nova Scotia.
60
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:53,047
She says it shifts logs better
than American pokers.
61
00:04:53,082 --> 00:04:56,852
But I disagree. We'll get through it.
We always do.
62
00:04:56,972 --> 00:04:59,032
Well, love conquers all, huh?
63
00:05:00,252 --> 00:05:02,378
I remember when
she was Helen Schwarzbaum.
64
00:05:02,659 --> 00:05:05,790
In fact, I remember when
she was Harold Schwarzbaum.
65
00:05:05,910 --> 00:05:06,478
You what?
66
00:05:06,513 --> 00:05:07,531
I've said too much.
67
00:05:07,566 --> 00:05:10,147
But for the three months
it took your card to go through,
68
00:05:10,267 --> 00:05:11,626
you weren't certified.
69
00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:14,068
Anything you officiated
during that time--
70
00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:16,579
funerals, baptisms, even bingo.
71
00:05:17,060 --> 00:05:18,163
Well it just didn't count.
72
00:05:18,863 --> 00:05:22,510
Well, I'm sure
the Lord is understanding.
73
00:05:22,545 --> 00:05:23,340
No, He's not.
74
00:05:24,206 --> 00:05:26,117
I'll notify those affected right away.
75
00:05:31,371 --> 00:05:32,498
Tea time.
76
00:05:33,626 --> 00:05:34,764
What's going on?
77
00:05:35,011 --> 00:05:38,087
Helen, I was briefly uncertified.
78
00:05:38,357 --> 00:05:40,966
So all those graces
you said were a lie?
79
00:05:41,086 --> 00:05:45,263
That food might as well have been
regurgitated by Satan himself.
80
00:05:45,499 --> 00:05:48,752
Regurgitated by Satan
He couldn't keep it down
81
00:05:48,787 --> 00:05:51,408
Oh, 666
He got sick, sick, sick
82
00:05:51,443 --> 00:05:54,436
And that's how volcanoes were born
83
00:05:57,118 --> 00:06:01,320
Due to a bureaucratic snafu,
I wasn't an official minister
84
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,988
when we laid your dear Estelle to rest.
85
00:06:05,033 --> 00:06:06,228
She still alive?
86
00:06:06,348 --> 00:06:07,863
I'm afraid not.
87
00:06:08,611 --> 00:06:10,596
'Cos I left her ashes on the bus.
88
00:06:14,024 --> 00:06:17,696
So Captain, when I blessed
your vessel, it didn't count.
89
00:06:18,494 --> 00:06:19,610
Maybe the next one!
90
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:29,031
So I'm afraid I wasn't the minister
when I blessed your ten-roof shanty.
91
00:06:29,151 --> 00:06:32,756
So that's why that ghost
keeps coming through the window.
92
00:06:32,791 --> 00:06:33,502
Afternoon.
93
00:06:33,537 --> 00:06:38,053
Fly away ghosty! Go back
to your haunted cornfield!
94
00:06:39,846 --> 00:06:42,298
Reverend Lovejoy, you deliver pizza now?
95
00:06:42,418 --> 00:06:46,034
We didn't order a pizza.
But you forgot the pizza anyway.
96
00:06:46,269 --> 00:06:49,017
Marge, the pizza place screwed up again.
97
00:06:49,288 --> 00:06:53,724
You remember when I remarried
you two after Homer got that divorce?
98
00:06:53,759 --> 00:06:55,648
Like it was yesterday.
99
00:07:00,730 --> 00:07:03,240
Kirk and Luann split up so Homer,
100
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:04,731
fearing we would do the same,
101
00:07:04,851 --> 00:07:06,911
preemptively filed for divorce.
102
00:07:07,031 --> 00:07:11,264
But then you remarried us,
and we were as solid as ever.
103
00:07:11,545 --> 00:07:13,835
And I think Apu
got lucky with my sister.
104
00:07:15,775 --> 00:07:17,931
Well, I'm afraid that joyous occasion
105
00:07:18,148 --> 00:07:21,095
fell during a time when
I wasn't actually a minister.
106
00:07:21,679 --> 00:07:25,515
Since that time,
you two have not been legally wed.
107
00:07:25,918 --> 00:07:30,197
You don't get it, Paudre. My old lady
and I have a thing going on.
108
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:33,016
We don't need
a piece of paper to keep it real.
109
00:07:33,136 --> 00:07:34,681
Who are you calling an old lady?
110
00:07:34,716 --> 00:07:35,861
I need that paper quick!
111
00:07:40,510 --> 00:07:43,221
So you and Mom aren't married?
Does that mean I'm a bastard?
112
00:07:43,341 --> 00:07:46,327
You were born while
they were married so legally, no.
113
00:07:46,447 --> 00:07:49,697
But in the sense someone calls you
one when they're angry, yes.
114
00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:53,853
It's not a big deal. We'll just go
to City Hall, and get married there.
115
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:59,698
I think it's romantic. You can pretend
you're newlyweds starting a life together.
116
00:07:59,818 --> 00:08:02,328
Yeah, instead of exhausted zombies
running down the clock.
117
00:08:02,564 --> 00:08:03,891
Why, you little bastard!
118
00:08:04,897 --> 00:08:06,212
That's the angry one.
119
00:08:16,331 --> 00:08:19,324
This isn't the most
romantic place to get married.
120
00:08:19,359 --> 00:08:23,887
Sweetie, any place I'm marrying you
is the most romantic place in the world.
121
00:08:24,255 --> 00:08:26,345
Watch your back.
Half a corpse coming through.
122
00:08:30,754 --> 00:08:33,082
Marge, this time I'm gonna
give you the wedding deserve.
123
00:08:33,202 --> 00:08:34,100
Let's get out of here.
124
00:08:35,228 --> 00:08:36,638
That's the line to get out.
125
00:08:48,180 --> 00:08:48,799
Hello?
126
00:08:48,919 --> 00:08:52,322
Hello. It's me, Lance Romance.
127
00:08:52,442 --> 00:08:55,894
Your first mission
is to look out the window.
128
00:08:56,879 --> 00:08:59,111
Whatever you say, Lance.
129
00:09:09,796 --> 00:09:13,161
This is Bill and Marty saying,
"Marge, go down to the basement."
130
00:09:19,857 --> 00:09:21,794
Homer, what's going on?
131
00:09:21,914 --> 00:09:25,264
The violin, pants with a crease. Why?
132
00:09:25,981 --> 00:09:30,100
Marge, you deserve a wedding day
that, unlike our children,
133
00:09:30,220 --> 00:09:31,515
was planned in advance.
134
00:09:31,763 --> 00:09:35,781
So, will you marry me in style?
135
00:09:35,901 --> 00:09:38,774
Oh, yes, Homer. Yes.
136
00:09:38,894 --> 00:09:42,242
Did you hear that Santa?
She said, yes! Yes!
137
00:09:43,387 --> 00:09:46,063
Now back to your cold airless tomb.
138
00:09:46,346 --> 00:09:48,342
Ho, ho, ho.
139
00:09:54,478 --> 00:09:57,887
It's beautiful.
But that's an awful lot to pay
140
00:09:58,007 --> 00:09:59,745
for a dress I'll only wear once.
141
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:03,960
Marge, a woman only gets
one chance at a second remarriage.
142
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:06,825
The choice is yours.
You can look like a fairy princess,
143
00:10:06,945 --> 00:10:08,884
or a pig wrapped in rags.
144
00:10:09,896 --> 00:10:10,774
A princess?
145
00:10:10,894 --> 00:10:12,561
Fine. We'll do it your way.
146
00:10:12,914 --> 00:10:14,355
This one's a little gay, isn't it?
147
00:10:14,475 --> 00:10:17,830
Well, the last time I checked,
pirates weren't gay.
148
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,336
Dude, how'd you check?
149
00:10:20,969 --> 00:10:23,655
Check out this
rocket ship cake, Marge.
150
00:10:23,775 --> 00:10:27,022
That's for a child's birthday.
We're going to get this one.
151
00:10:27,142 --> 00:10:29,750
Maybe we can bury
the rocket ship inside the cake.
152
00:10:29,785 --> 00:10:30,975
And that would be a big surprise,
153
00:10:31,095 --> 00:10:32,714
because I'd forget about it
pretty quick.
154
00:10:32,834 --> 00:10:36,318
No rockets!
You can pick the frosting.
155
00:10:36,438 --> 00:10:36,840
Chocolate!
156
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:37,944
We'll take lemon.
157
00:10:39,958 --> 00:10:42,490
Okay, I want white roses at the alter,
158
00:10:42,525 --> 00:10:46,783
red roses along the aisle,
and blue roses in the centerpieces.
159
00:10:46,903 --> 00:10:48,155
There are no blue roses.
160
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:49,851
I want to talk to Howard!
161
00:10:49,971 --> 00:10:51,466
Howard died ten years ago.
162
00:10:51,586 --> 00:10:53,926
Well did he take all
the blue roses with him?
163
00:10:54,046 --> 00:10:55,520
My father was a lovely man.
164
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,370
He took very good care of my mother and me.
165
00:10:59,457 --> 00:11:03,511
All right, people. I want every table
to have two baskets of bread,
166
00:11:03,631 --> 00:11:05,114
but only one plate of butter.
167
00:11:05,234 --> 00:11:06,698
That'll stimulate conversation.
168
00:11:06,818 --> 00:11:07,292
What if we--
169
00:11:07,327 --> 00:11:09,254
There is no "we" in "wedding."
170
00:11:09,289 --> 00:11:11,429
But there is, Marge.
The first two letters.
171
00:11:11,464 --> 00:11:14,657
I can't believe you're ruining
the second Thursday before the wedding!
172
00:11:16,391 --> 00:11:17,682
Oh, Homer.
173
00:11:19,749 --> 00:11:22,909
I can't believe you told Lenny
and Carl they could bring dates!
174
00:11:23,029 --> 00:11:24,870
'Cos they're not even
coming to the wedding.
175
00:11:24,990 --> 00:11:25,451
Why not?
176
00:11:25,571 --> 00:11:30,373
Because they're RSVP cards arrived
one day after the deadline!
177
00:11:30,493 --> 00:11:34,040
Marge, maybe you should
take a break from wedding planning.
178
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,400
I think you're becoming Bridezilla!
179
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:37,868
Bridezilla?
180
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:42,722
A combination of bride and Godzilla?
181
00:11:42,842 --> 00:11:43,943
How could you say that?
182
00:11:44,063 --> 00:11:46,376
More like you're a King Wrong!
183
00:12:12,389 --> 00:12:14,503
No matter what I do, Marge yells at me.
184
00:12:14,623 --> 00:12:18,296
If she's like this now, what will she
be like after we get married?
185
00:12:21,337 --> 00:12:23,596
Okay, okay. Everyone, back off!
186
00:12:23,716 --> 00:12:25,648
I want to see myself.
187
00:12:27,318 --> 00:12:30,817
A pimple? Not on my day, you don't.
188
00:12:33,623 --> 00:12:35,325
Okay, it's go time.
189
00:12:35,809 --> 00:12:36,784
Dim the lights.
190
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:38,909
To the band.
191
00:12:41,686 --> 00:12:44,045
And release the groom.
192
00:12:46,277 --> 00:12:47,682
Homer, that's you.
193
00:12:49,689 --> 00:12:52,449
We are now eleven seconds
behind schedule!
194
00:12:56,164 --> 00:12:57,520
Homie!
195
00:13:17,567 --> 00:13:20,929
I can't believe Homer
left me at the alter.
196
00:13:20,964 --> 00:13:23,341
Oh, Marge. Have a shrimp puff.
197
00:13:23,376 --> 00:13:25,619
Wipe your tears with
the monogram napkins.
198
00:13:27,351 --> 00:13:31,686
I know it is hard, but smile for
the cameraman from Gary's Magic Moments.
199
00:13:31,806 --> 00:13:34,310
You have my deepest sympathy.
200
00:13:37,527 --> 00:13:39,805
What's going on?
What's with all the darkness?
201
00:13:40,345 --> 00:13:43,491
Hello? Marge? Where am I?
202
00:13:47,656 --> 00:13:50,676
What the-- I'm chained up
like a common bicycle!
203
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:58,410
Who would do this to me? It would have
to be someone who could afford a chain.
204
00:13:58,530 --> 00:14:00,738
You're going to be here a while.
205
00:14:01,023 --> 00:14:02,284
But I have to marry Marge!
206
00:14:02,404 --> 00:14:05,507
As of now, your pathetic
little life means nothing!
207
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:09,142
Just so you know, you're making
a pretty bad first impression.
208
00:14:09,553 --> 00:14:11,558
It's all my fault.
209
00:14:11,678 --> 00:14:15,269
Homer wanted to serve
those little cocktail hot dogs,
210
00:14:15,389 --> 00:14:20,031
but, no, I had to have spring rolls!
211
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:21,676
They taste like nothing.
212
00:14:23,743 --> 00:14:28,145
I don't understand. Dad would never miss
an open bar with chicken wings.
213
00:14:28,415 --> 00:14:30,869
Plus, he loves Mom and us,
yadda, yadda, yadda.
214
00:14:30,989 --> 00:14:32,250
Hey, I found something!
215
00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:37,243
Sideshow Bob!
216
00:14:37,363 --> 00:14:38,863
He ruined the wedding.
217
00:14:38,983 --> 00:14:41,642
Getting his revenge on us at last!
218
00:14:41,762 --> 00:14:45,875
Because he knows that if Mom and Dad
don't get married, I'll never be born!
219
00:14:52,084 --> 00:14:54,899
I've got some wedding registry
items for Mrs. Simpson.
220
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:58,603
I'm afraid I'm just Ms. Simpson now.
221
00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:00,293
Interesting nuance.
222
00:15:00,413 --> 00:15:04,430
I'd like to hear more about it,
but company policy forbids chit-chat.
223
00:15:05,978 --> 00:15:07,792
I miss you so much.
224
00:15:07,912 --> 00:15:11,272
To remove that chain,
you need the key to the lock.
225
00:15:11,392 --> 00:15:13,396
You idiot. How am I ever
gonna find the key to the--
226
00:15:14,069 --> 00:15:14,778
Oh, here it is.
227
00:15:17,231 --> 00:15:19,386
To get the key,
I have to lick through a lollipop?
228
00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:21,103
How awful!
229
00:15:22,669 --> 00:15:24,674
Ow! What the--
230
00:15:24,794 --> 00:15:27,455
The lollipop is made of hot sauce.
231
00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:29,909
Whose side are you on?
232
00:15:39,195 --> 00:15:42,388
Sideshow Bob, drop that knife,
and give back our dad!
233
00:15:42,670 --> 00:15:43,257
Oh?
234
00:15:44,056 --> 00:15:48,562
I'm working on a bust of Krusty,
and using this knife to aerate the clay.
235
00:15:50,264 --> 00:15:51,761
Anyone for peppermint tea?
236
00:15:51,881 --> 00:15:54,649
Not for me. But the monkey
needs to keep his strength up.
237
00:15:54,769 --> 00:15:57,762
We're gonna drop him out of
a blimp tomorrow, and see what happens.
238
00:15:58,572 --> 00:16:03,439
Oh, don't worry. Nothing's gonna
happen to you, Mr. Teeny Number 7.
239
00:16:03,559 --> 00:16:06,842
Bob, did you take any breaks
yesterday? To kidnap our dad?
240
00:16:06,962 --> 00:16:09,946
Impossible. I was with Bob the whole day.
241
00:16:10,066 --> 00:16:13,039
Then we watched the deluxe DVD
of the House Of Sand and Fog.
242
00:16:13,159 --> 00:16:15,255
At night, we slept in
the same bed for warmth.
243
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:17,572
Then we woke up, had a little nosh,
244
00:16:17,607 --> 00:16:20,629
watched the House Of Sand
and Fog again, with commentary.
245
00:16:20,749 --> 00:16:21,893
The director was an ass.
246
00:16:21,928 --> 00:16:24,190
Fine, but how do you explain this?
247
00:16:24,485 --> 00:16:25,577
Nice of you to think of me.
248
00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:28,439
However, S.B. could be anyone.
249
00:16:28,665 --> 00:16:30,748
Scott Baio, the Sultan of Brunei,
250
00:16:30,783 --> 00:16:34,004
the former Poland secret police
the Służba Bezpieczeństwa.
251
00:16:34,508 --> 00:16:35,388
Or...
252
00:16:44,978 --> 00:16:47,291
Marge, I miss you!
253
00:16:48,665 --> 00:16:50,619
I miss you so much!
254
00:16:51,852 --> 00:16:53,911
Wait 'til he finds out
the key isn't the key.
255
00:16:54,031 --> 00:16:55,879
But just a hotter sauce.
256
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,827
I'm gonna say this for the last time:
257
00:17:13,947 --> 00:17:17,735
Bart, if this is one of
your pranks, very funny.
258
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:20,038
Maybe we should let him out soon.
259
00:17:20,158 --> 00:17:22,092
Not 'til Marge dumps him for good.
260
00:17:24,029 --> 00:17:26,395
Hey, Lame-o. Ready for some
261
00:17:26,515 --> 00:17:28,273
fun with fire ants?
262
00:17:28,393 --> 00:17:30,178
What's fun about fire ants?
263
00:17:30,213 --> 00:17:33,037
They're-- Oh, you're being sarcastic.
264
00:17:33,157 --> 00:17:35,891
Wow! You're the
smartest guy in that room!
265
00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:38,018
Thank you. That's very nice--
266
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:40,786
More sarcasm.
267
00:17:42,712 --> 00:17:46,845
Just see that my fiancée Marge
gets this: my wedding vows.
268
00:17:47,420 --> 00:17:52,562
Marge, I hope this day is as perfect
for you as the day we met was for me.
269
00:17:52,682 --> 00:17:56,895
You always find the one grain
of sugar in the salt shaker that is I.
270
00:17:57,247 --> 00:17:59,624
With each marriage, I get a little better.
271
00:17:59,744 --> 00:18:02,601
Maybe after a thousand,
I'll be worthy of you.
272
00:18:02,721 --> 00:18:05,571
I miss you. I miss the kids.
273
00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:08,471
God help me, I even miss your sisters.
274
00:18:14,309 --> 00:18:15,301
Poor guy.
275
00:18:15,421 --> 00:18:17,068
He loves her so much.
276
00:18:17,188 --> 00:18:20,328
Excuse me, but I have been
waiting 45 minutes
277
00:18:20,363 --> 00:18:22,411
for you to slide my license over to me.
278
00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:23,552
Closed!
279
00:18:23,672 --> 00:18:25,843
Okay. You're hereby
banned from my store.
280
00:18:25,878 --> 00:18:28,468
You will have to shop at the
Kwik-E-Mart across the street from me.
281
00:18:28,588 --> 00:18:30,572
You know, the much nicer, much newer one.
282
00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:31,605
Good day to you!
283
00:18:33,407 --> 00:18:35,694
Mom, Mom! We know where Dad is!
284
00:18:35,814 --> 00:18:36,919
He's right here.
285
00:18:37,039 --> 00:18:38,624
I'm not sure what happened.
286
00:18:38,744 --> 00:18:44,122
I was kidnapped, then tortured,
then I fell into a surprisingly sound sleep.
287
00:18:44,242 --> 00:18:47,688
When I awoke, I felt refreshed.
And I was blindfolded,
288
00:18:47,808 --> 00:18:52,027
and two sobbing trolls threw me
out of a van onto our lawn.
289
00:18:52,147 --> 00:18:54,069
I'm just happy you're back.
290
00:18:54,189 --> 00:18:56,025
Now let's get that chain off you.
291
00:18:56,145 --> 00:18:58,667
Won't it dry up in a few days,
and fall off in the bath?
292
00:18:59,327 --> 00:19:01,620
I've missed your nonsense.
293
00:19:11,737 --> 00:19:14,747
Now there's no evidence
to tie us to the kidnapping.
294
00:19:14,782 --> 00:19:17,811
And we've got a one year lease
on that torture room.
295
00:19:17,931 --> 00:19:19,984
So maybe we could put
a tanning bed in there.
296
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:29,099
We know it was you, Selma Bouvier.
297
00:19:29,992 --> 00:19:31,868
Would you kids like cookies?
298
00:19:31,988 --> 00:19:34,332
Let your Auntie Patty
make some cookies.
299
00:19:34,452 --> 00:19:36,132
We don't want your cookies.
300
00:19:36,167 --> 00:19:38,510
What she means is,
we'll eat your cookies later.
301
00:19:38,630 --> 00:19:40,270
If you don't want us to
tell our mom what you did,
302
00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:41,448
you're gonna have to pay.
303
00:19:41,568 --> 00:19:43,356
Pay? Pay for what?
304
00:19:43,476 --> 00:19:47,927
Ask her. She's the brains.
I'm the thing that's not the brains.
305
00:19:50,368 --> 00:19:52,997
And with the inking
and application of this stamp,
306
00:19:53,032 --> 00:19:54,449
you are officially married.
307
00:19:54,569 --> 00:19:55,053
Next.
308
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:59,737
I'm sorry, honey. I wanted so badly
to give you a fancy wedding.
309
00:19:59,772 --> 00:20:04,461
Homer, one thing I've learned is
that you don't need a fancy wedding
310
00:20:04,496 --> 00:20:06,902
when you're marrying the man you love.
311
00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:21,766
Just what I always wanted!
312
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:26,323
A rocket ship wedding cake!
Just what I always wanted!
313
00:20:27,556 --> 00:20:30,732
We emptied our 401(k)s for this?
314
00:20:34,017 --> 00:20:36,335
Blue roses!
315
00:20:36,455 --> 00:20:39,683
Yes, it took a lot of frantic
genetic engineering, but...
316
00:20:40,062 --> 00:20:40,828
Enjoy.
317
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,161
No! You're a plant now!