1
00:00:03,903 --> 00:00:07,236
??[Chorus Singing]

2
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,918
[BellRinging]

3
00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:27,783
[Whistle Blowing]

4
00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,230
[ Beeping ]

5
00:00:37,904 --> 00:00:39,872
?? [Jazzy Solo ]

6
00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:01,859
[ Beeping ]

7
00:01:01,961 --> 00:01:03,861
[ Tires Screeching ]

8
00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:07,098
D'oh!
[ Screams ]

9
00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:10,996
- 'Scuse me. Pardon me. 'Scuse me.
- [ Marge Groans ]

10
00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:12,799
- Hmm.
- Hey.

11
00:01:25,718 --> 00:01:30,246
Ah, but Paris wouldmake a très bon site
forthe next Olympic Games.

12
00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:31,789
And why is that?

13
00:01:31,891 --> 00:01:35,759
We don't have to explain ourselves
to the likes ofyou!

14
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:38,296
I await your reply.

15
00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:41,731
I recommend Moscow, where
the American dollar buys seven rubles.

16
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:43,530
- [PagerBeeps ]
- Twelve rubles.

17
00:01:43,636 --> 00:01:47,595
- [ Beeping Continues ]
- Sixty rubles. 1,000 rubles! I must go!

18
00:01:47,707 --> 00:01:50,301
- I suggest Motown.
- Detroit.

19
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:53,902
No, no. Mongolia Town--
home ofthe Motown sound.

20
00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:56,811
?? [ Vocalizing ]

21
00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:59,578
You are all crazy!
The answer is Buenos Aires.

22
00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:01,381
- Hokkaido!
- Budapest!
- Cleveland!

23
00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:03,388
- England!
- Bangkok!
- People! People! Please.

24
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:06,118
You are forgetting what
the Olympics are all about--

25
00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:08,751
giving out medals
ofbeautiful gold...

26
00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:11,592
so-so silver and shameful bronze.

27
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,666
- [ All Murmuring ]
- [ Woman ] It's so true.

28
00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:18,066
I have here a letter
from a little girl named Lisa Simpson.

29
00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:22,870
She says her town might not be important
enough to host the Olympics...

30
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:26,309
but she asks ifthe torch
could just pass by...

31
00:02:26,412 --> 00:02:31,179
so she can experience the glow
that we feel every day.

32
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:34,981
Well, I saywe don't
bring her the torch.

33
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:38,114
I saywe bring her...
the Olympic Games!

34
00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:41,955
- Who is with me?
- [ Cricket Chirps ]

35
00:02:42,061 --> 00:02:44,359
Well, I don't care.
It's my decision.

36
00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:47,922
Springfield was shocked today
to learn it will host the next Olympics.

37
00:02:48,034 --> 00:02:50,502
Economists predict our city
will experience the same boom...

38
00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:53,902
that Sarajevo enjoyed
after the 1 984 Games.

39
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,498
And it's all because
ofyour letter, Lisa.

40
00:02:56,609 --> 00:02:59,578
Well, actually, I just wrote it
for a school assignment.

41
00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:01,909
Everyone else wrote
to the Backstreet Boys.

42
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,711
To honor the arrival
of our foreign friends-- and enemies--

43
00:03:04,817 --> 00:03:09,220
Channel 6 is sponsoring a contest
to find a Springfield Olympic mascot.

44
00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:11,517
The winnerwill join
such other memorable mascots...

45
00:03:11,624 --> 00:03:15,856
as the Atlanta whatsit
and the Montreal vampire.

46
00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:19,398
A mascot contest?
I'm sure to win that--

47
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:21,524
unless one ofyou jinxes me.

48
00:03:21,634 --> 00:03:24,967
No one's gonna jinxyou, Homer.
In fact, we're rooting foryou.

49
00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:28,040
- Yeah. Go for the gold, Dad.
- Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

50
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:33,543
Well, you said I couldn't do it,
but here it is.

51
00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:36,240
Meet Abby, the Olympic Tabby!

52
00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:38,408
[Bart]
How'dyou get the eyes to move?

53
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:41,885
- [ Plaintive Meowing ]
- [ Gasps ] You papier-mâchéd my cat?

54
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:44,752
Just for the prototype, honey.

55
00:03:44,857 --> 00:03:47,018
[ Meows ]

56
00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:48,616
- [ Hisses ]
- [ Yelps ]

57
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:51,925
Knowing you always hate my first idea,
I prepared a backup.

58
00:03:52,031 --> 00:03:55,228
How about a big Olympic hello
for Springy--

59
00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:57,599
the Springfield spring!

60
00:03:57,704 --> 00:04:00,138
[Bart]
Those aren't the dog's eyes, are they?

61
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,936
- Hey, that's cute.
- Good work, Dad.

62
00:04:03,042 --> 00:04:05,010
It's fun for the whole family.

63
00:04:05,111 --> 00:04:07,079
And the ends are razor sharp--

64
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:09,114
to protect our nation
and its interests.

65
00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:11,911
- Ow!
- God bless America.

66
00:04:19,892 --> 00:04:21,587
[ Spray Can Rattles ]

67
00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:30,895
- [ Squeaking ]
- Hit the road, Lefty. You too, Rizzo.

68
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:35,134
- [ Chirps ]
- Oh, Cinnamon, don't make this
harder than it already is.

69
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,248
[ Crowd Cheering ]

70
00:04:45,818 --> 00:04:47,945
Bravo, Springfield.

71
00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:51,319
- I have never seen such a clean sewer.
- [ Chuckles ]

72
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:55,155
And we are positively inspired
byyour solar power plant.

73
00:04:55,261 --> 00:04:57,559
Yes. Love that sun, man.

74
00:04:57,664 --> 00:05:00,861
We will do anything, including
but not limited to anything...

75
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,935
to makeyour stay here tolerable.

76
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:05,004
Yes. You'll be completely
above the law.

77
00:05:05,104 --> 00:05:10,098
Uh, women, guns, cash--
whateveryou need. It's yours.

78
00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:11,938
- [ Man ] Ach du Lieber!
- [ WolfWhistle ]

79
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,741
- [ All Murmuring ]
- And that's not all.

80
00:05:14,847 --> 00:05:17,714
We've just chosen
our official Olympic mascot.

81
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:20,980
- [ Crowd Oohs andAahs ]
- [Applause ]

82
00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:23,715
[ Gasps ]
They picked Springy!

83
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,791
In your face, Patty and Selma!

84
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:28,918
- Well, we still love you, Ciggy.
- Yeah.

85
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:35,061
Mmm! That glue really
gives it a pop.

86
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:39,161
And now, because the children
are our future...

87
00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:42,139
here are the children
ofSpringfield Elementary...

88
00:05:42,241 --> 00:05:46,200
with a song they call
"The Children Are Our Future."

89
00:05:46,312 --> 00:05:48,610
- Children?
- ??[Up Tempo]

90
00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:53,285
?? [ Singing ]

91
00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:12,565
??[Continues]

92
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:16,073
I've neverwanted a beer
worse in my life.

93
00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:19,076
[ Gasp ]
I loveyou, honey.

94
00:06:19,178 --> 00:06:21,203
Areyou talking to me or the beer?

95
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:25,751
Toyou, my bubbly, long-necked,
beechwood-aged lover.

96
00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:28,582
?? [ Continue Singing ]

97
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,753
- ?? [ Ends ]
- Bravo!

98
00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:40,458
Magnifigue!

99
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,466
Muybueno.

100
00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:46,231
It gives me great pride
to officially declare...

101
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:49,570
the next Olympics
will be held right here in--

102
00:06:49,675 --> 00:06:51,438
Wait! Wait!
We have one more act.

103
00:06:51,544 --> 00:06:55,173
The patriotic comedy stylings
of Bart Simpson!

104
00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:58,216
- [Man ] Oh, fine.
- Thankyou, thankyou.

105
00:06:58,317 --> 00:07:00,842
- So, uh, you're from Russia, huh?
- Da.

106
00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:02,853
- You drunkyet?
- Da.

107
00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:05,617
Poland, eh? [ Chuckles ]
Too easy.

108
00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:09,058
Howya doin', Germany? Here's my impression
ofan East German woman.

109
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,961
"Kees" me, or I'll crush you.

110
00:07:12,064 --> 00:07:15,898
[ Laughing Hysterically]

111
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:19,233
- He says what we're all thinking.
- I'm not thinking that.

112
00:07:19,338 --> 00:07:22,239
Hey, Swiss miss.
There's no missin' you, babe.

113
00:07:22,341 --> 00:07:24,332
- Lay offthe cocoa.
- [Laughter]

114
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,139
[ Mutters In German ]

115
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:31,548
Now I'd like to say one last thing
to our Olympic representatives.

116
00:07:31,651 --> 00:07:34,779
Ifthere was a medal for horrible audiences,
you'd get the gold.

117
00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:38,448
- Peace out.
- [ Loud Feedback]

118
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:40,753
[ Gasps, Grunts ]

119
00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:43,021
[ Tires Screeching ]

120
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:47,233
Skinner!

121
00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:48,427
Skinner!

122
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:52,334
How could you put this boy on
with that horrible material?

123
00:07:52,438 --> 00:07:54,906
Well, it really did
seem funny in rehearsal.

124
00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:59,410
- And he didn't even get to his Ubangi routine.
- [ Laughing ]

125
00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:02,106
Ha, ha, ha.
Laugh it up, ya punks.

126
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:06,481
'Causeyou and Jan Murray here
just cost ourtown the Olympics.

127
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:08,577
- Hey, Chalmers. Where areyou from?
- Huh?

128
00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:11,589
Well, I was born in Queens,
went to Ball State...

129
00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:14,182
then made the move
to Intercourse, Pennsylvania.

130
00:08:14,293 --> 00:08:16,420
- Uh, why doyou ask?
- Don't worry, sir.

131
00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:18,793
I'll teach these children
some respect for their town.

132
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:21,765
I'm assigning each ofyou
20 hours of community service.

133
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:24,302
- [ Groaning, Grumbling ]
- Community service?

134
00:08:24,403 --> 00:08:26,394
- No, no!
- Intercourse?

135
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:30,374
- What ifwe refuse?
- You won't pass to the next grade.

136
00:08:30,476 --> 00:08:32,307
I fail to see the threat.

137
00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:34,311
Skinner! Good idea.

138
00:08:34,413 --> 00:08:38,679
Now, ifyou'll excuse me,
I'm offto myvacation at Lake Titicaca.

139
00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:42,447
Let's seeyou make a joke
out ofthat, Mr. Smart Guy.

140
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,215
All right, Martin.
Foryour community service...

141
00:08:46,325 --> 00:08:50,489
you'll be setting up a midnight basketball
program for inner-city street gangs.

142
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,802
All right, gang.
Shirts and skins.

143
00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:58,871
- Let's hustle.
- [Gunshot]

144
00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:01,634
[ Tires Screeching ]

145
00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:04,938
- Milhouse, doyou like the beach?
- Who doesn't?

146
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,239
Good.

147
00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:09,371
I wantyou to pick up
all this medical waste...

148
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:12,042
that's washed up on the shore here.

149
00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:15,848
Ow! I pricked myself.

150
00:09:15,955 --> 00:09:17,923
Well,just keep working.

151
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:20,356
You'll prickyourselfwith the antidote
sooner or later.

152
00:09:20,459 --> 00:09:23,189
[ Sighs ]

153
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:26,231
- What areya gonna do to me?
- Bart, not all community service...

154
00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:28,994
is gang warfare
and dangerous infection.

155
00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:32,502
And to illustrate that point,
here's whereyou'll be working.

156
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:34,971
The fireworks, candy
and puppy dog store?

157
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:38,237
[ Puppies Yipping ]

158
00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:40,938
No, no, no.
Next to it.

159
00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:45,950
Settle a bet.
Boil or mole?

160
00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:47,576
[ Groans ]

161
00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:54,893
Okay.Just breathe
through your mouth...

162
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:57,019
and don't ask how they're feeling.

163
00:09:58,731 --> 00:10:00,255
?? [Muzak]

164
00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:02,891
- [ All Groaning ]
- [ Creaking ]

165
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:04,594
Oh, man.

166
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:07,502
- [ Wheezing Groan ]
- [ Yelps ] Whoa!

167
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,201
- [ Grunts ]
- [ Dentures Chattering ]

168
00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:14,370
- Aren'tyou a beautiful--
- Let's pull his skin.

169
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:15,947
- [ Yelps ]
- Look at that.

170
00:10:16,048 --> 00:10:19,245
Oh, be a dear and snap my support hose
to my girdle.

171
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,252
[ Shuddering ]

172
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,948
2:00. Recreation time.

173
00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:26,183
- Oh, goody!
- Whew! Saved by the bell. Whoa!

174
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:29,523
- Where doyou thinkyou're goin'?
- [ Gulps ]

175
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:34,891
Oh, no.
Lise, they gotyou too?

176
00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:36,229
Got me?
What areyou talking about?

177
00:10:42,942 --> 00:10:44,102
I got a nice diagonal goin' here.

178
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:46,303
B-3.

179
00:10:46,412 --> 00:10:48,812
- You sunk my battleship.
- [ All Laughing ]

180
00:10:48,914 --> 00:10:50,643
G-52.

181
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:54,516
- You sunk my battleship.
- [ All Laughing ]

182
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:56,986
Oh! I got a bingo!
What do I win?

183
00:10:57,089 --> 00:10:59,387
- A banana.
- Awhole one?

184
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,586
- Yep.
- That's the prize? A banana?

185
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:06,062
Their natural mushiness prevents choking
and promotes regularity.

186
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:08,633
They're not babies, Lisa.
Give 'em something fun--

187
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:10,634
Iike cigars or booze.

188
00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:12,636
We tried giving them
eggnog at Christmas...

189
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:14,865
but it led to widespread
"de-shawling."

190
00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:19,001
Well, that's what they get forwearing
such tight little shawls.

191
00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:21,204
- Oh!
- [ Chuckles ]

192
00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:24,646
- Okay. 4:00. Nap time.
- [ All Snoring ]

193
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:28,083
- You tell 'em when to sleep?
- [Whispering ] Shh. Don'twake them.

194
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:31,486
[Vacuums Whirring ]

195
00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:34,787
While they sleep,
we suck up excess dirt and crumbs.

196
00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:38,295
Hereyou go. Make sure
you get into every crevice.

197
00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:41,628
- [ Snoring ]
- Cool.

198
00:11:41,734 --> 00:11:43,895
Grampa. Homer.

199
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:46,028
Grampa. Homer.

200
00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:48,333
Don't play with the faces.

201
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:54,974
So, Bart, how was your first day
of forced volunteerism?

202
00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:58,710
That place sucks. The nurses don't let
Grampa do anything.

203
00:11:58,818 --> 00:12:01,048
They practically
chew his food for him.

204
00:12:01,153 --> 00:12:04,350
Lucky stiff.
I'm workin' my ass offhere.

205
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:06,448
Good steak, honey.

206
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,550
The elderly aren't
likeyou or me, Bart.

207
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,652
They thrive on consistency,
predictability...

208
00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:12,663
and a life with no surprises.

209
00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:14,323
Sounds good to me.

210
00:12:14,433 --> 00:12:16,128
- [Doorbell Rings ]
- I'll get it!

211
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:20,262
- [ Laughing ]
- Delivery for Homer Simpson.

212
00:12:20,372 --> 00:12:22,636
[ Grunting ]

213
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,710
Mmm! Whoo-hoo!

214
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,778
My springs.
They finally came.

215
00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:29,177
But we lost the Olympics
to Shelbyville.

216
00:12:29,281 --> 00:12:32,409
Yeah, but I should have no problem
selling a thousand springs.

217
00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:34,816
- Towho?
- Idiots.

218
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,013
Ooh! These are fun.

219
00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:42,124
Oh, Rhett! Rhett!

220
00:12:42,228 --> 00:12:45,163
Oh, Rhett.
Where will I go?

221
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:48,392
- What'll I do?
- Frankly, my dear--

222
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,867
[ Different Male Voice ]
I loveyou. Let's remarry.

223
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:56,530
- Ahh. That's sweet.
- What a lovely ending.

224
00:12:56,642 --> 00:12:58,371
They cut out the best word.

225
00:12:58,477 --> 00:13:01,503
Didn't that movie
used to have a war in it?

226
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,048
Come on, you. You've been warned.

227
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:07,847
- Pictureyourself on a beautiful sailboat.
- [ Waves Lapping, Gulls Crying ]

228
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:11,548
Ah. Can'tyoujust feel
the sea breeze inyourhair?

229
00:13:11,657 --> 00:13:14,125
- [Man ] Oh, boy.
- Or scalps.

230
00:13:14,226 --> 00:13:16,956
Say, I hear a foghorn.

231
00:13:17,062 --> 00:13:19,257
[ Imitating Foghorn ]
Boring!

232
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:23,358
Come on, Bart. We don't want to overstimulate
these people. Theyjust had pudding.

233
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,369
[ Doorbell Rings ]

234
00:13:26,438 --> 00:13:28,770
Hello, little girl.
Is your mommy home?

235
00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:32,537
You'll need to ask herforfive dollars
to buy Mr. Bouncy Best Friend.

236
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:37,605
I knowyou. Your little smart-mouthed boy
cost this town the Olympics.

237
00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:39,684
- [ Agnes Grunts ]
- [Skinner] Who is it, Mother?

238
00:13:39,785 --> 00:13:42,549
- Bart Simpson's father.
- Oh. I'll be right down.

239
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,555
[Footsteps ]

240
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:48,388
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
[ Grunting ]

241
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,223
Ow! Ow! Ow!
[ Grunting ]

242
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:53,162
Boy, Lenny, you sure look hungry.

243
00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:55,165
- Have some nuts.
- Hey, thanks.

244
00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:59,761
- Ow! My eye! Ow! Ow! Ow!
- [ Chuckling ]

245
00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:03,330
Now, ifyou wanna be the life of the party
like Lenny here...

246
00:14:03,442 --> 00:14:07,276
just place your order
for this hilarious novelty item.

247
00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:09,404
- [LennyScreaming]
- Homer, get outta here.

248
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:11,608
Boy, Moe, you sure look angry.

249
00:14:11,717 --> 00:14:13,947
- Here. Have some nuts.
- Hey, thanks.

250
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:16,544
Ow! God! My eye!

251
00:14:16,655 --> 00:14:20,455
- Ow! Get it out! Geez! Gaagh!
- [ LennyYelping ]

252
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:22,459
Don't pull. Don't pull.

253
00:14:22,561 --> 00:14:26,588
[ Groans ]
I said don't pull! Don't!

254
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,667
Now we're pulling into port.

255
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:31,292
Ah! And who's waiting
for us at the dock?

256
00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:33,997
Why, it's all your childhood dogs!

257
00:14:34,106 --> 00:14:36,836
Isee Peteyand Blackie
andSchnoodle.

258
00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:38,705
- Oh, no! Pirates!
- Pirates!

259
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:41,439
Ahoy, mateys! It's me--
Long Bart Silver.

260
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:44,573
- And I'm gonna rip you a new I.V. hole.
- [ All Gasp, Shudder]

261
00:14:44,683 --> 00:14:48,141
- Bart, what are you doing?
- I'm just trying to liven things up around here.

262
00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:51,189
These people need to ride motorcycles
and play rockin' electric guitars...

263
00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:53,190
Iike the old people on TV.

264
00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:55,283
Excuse me. But when
those pirates boarded...

265
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:58,124
I swallowed mywedding ring
for safekeeping.

266
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:02,189
- Get me some ipecac. I'd like to expunge it.
- [ Sighs ]

267
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:04,735
Okay, she's gone.
Let's break out ofhere and have some fun.

268
00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:08,967
- Shouldn't we ask someone first?
- Ifl get up, somebodywill take my chair.

269
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,133
Got that right.
It's the only one left with padding.

270
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,108
[ All ]
Padding.

271
00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:15,806
[ Sighs ]
What aboutyou, Chief?

272
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,883
Don'tyou wanna be free
like the eagle?

273
00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:21,885
Oh, I don't live here. I'm just
dropping offlndian casino pamphlets.

274
00:15:21,987 --> 00:15:24,615
Vote "yes" on Prop 21 7.

275
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,726
[ Grunts ]

276
00:15:29,895 --> 00:15:33,524
You know, the doorwas open,
Chief Break Everything.

277
00:15:33,632 --> 00:15:38,535
Come on, people. You don't wanna stay in
a place where theyvacuum you whileyou sleep.

278
00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:42,073
- They do what now?
- Now's our chance. Let's go!

279
00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:45,200
- [ All Shouting ]
- [ Woman ] I'm gonna follow him.

280
00:15:47,913 --> 00:15:50,507
Oh, no. Bart has stolen the elderly.

281
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,777
[ Yelps ]

282
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,853
Forgot my hat.

283
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:05,087
- ?? ['60s Pop ]
- [ Cheering, Whooping ]

284
00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:06,596
Oy!

285
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:14,538
[ Laughing ]

286
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,370
[ Shouting ]

287
00:16:19,578 --> 00:16:21,546
[ Both Grunting ]

288
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:29,014
Oy!

289
00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:31,783
[ Murmurs ]

290
00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:36,523
[ Murmurs ]

291
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,900
Uh-oh!

292
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,435
?? [Ends ]

293
00:16:44,536 --> 00:16:48,905
Ow! Today's grass is far sharper
than the grass in my day.

294
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,636
Hey, everybody! How'dyou like
to go on a real boat trip?

295
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,042
- Oh, that would be nice.
- I'm there!

296
00:16:58,984 --> 00:17:01,578
Arr! Not a looker among 'em.

297
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:04,349
Full speed ahead!
Damn the torpedoes!

298
00:17:04,456 --> 00:17:07,186
What'd he say?
Put on our tuxedos?

299
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:09,192
I want some taquitos.

300
00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:13,025
[Homer]
Welcome to the kitchen oftomorrow-- today!

301
00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:17,068
- How much would you pay for
a self-flipping hamburger pan?
- Nothing.

302
00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:20,138
Don't answeryet. Watch how easy it is
to flip hamburgers...

303
00:17:20,239 --> 00:17:23,072
with the help ofGod's
greatest creation-- the spring!

304
00:17:23,175 --> 00:17:25,439
Now watch this.

305
00:17:26,745 --> 00:17:29,714
[ Screaming ]

306
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:35,686
[ Moans ]

307
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:38,188
- Areyou okay?
- Some second-degree burns.

308
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:40,190
But some first-class burgers.

309
00:17:40,292 --> 00:17:43,921
[ Groans ]
I wantyou to get rid ofthese springs.

310
00:17:44,029 --> 00:17:46,463
Butyou haven't seen
the baby oftomorrow.

311
00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:48,192
Ta-da!

312
00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:51,030
- Now ifl drop her, no more tears.
- [ Gasps ]

313
00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:53,969
?? [ Humming Basketball Theme ]

314
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:57,270
- Give me my baby!
- "D" it up, Marge. I'm goin' to the hole.

315
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:03,112
[Marge ]
I want these springs out ofourhouse today!

316
00:18:03,215 --> 00:18:04,705
[Toilet Flushing]

317
00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:07,945
?? [ Singing Drinking Song ]

318
00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:14,618
You're not flushing those springs
down our toilet, are you?

319
00:18:14,726 --> 00:18:16,694
- Ofcourse not.
- [Toilet Flushes ]

320
00:18:16,795 --> 00:18:19,161
?? [Singing]

321
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:21,858
[ Groaning ]
Mm-mm-mm.

322
00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:23,867
?? [Big Band]

323
00:18:23,969 --> 00:18:26,563
?? [ Continues ]

324
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:30,005
Oh, Abe, you dance divinely.

325
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,976
I haven't felt this relaxed
and carefree...

326
00:18:33,078 --> 00:18:36,104
since I was watch commander
at Pearl Harbor.

327
00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:39,309
Aw, geez. This place used to be
crawlin' with Russian subs.

328
00:18:39,418 --> 00:18:41,386
Now there's just four.

329
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:45,623
- [ Gasps ]Sea hag!
- Bart Simpson!

330
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,026
Bart, are you crazy?

331
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:52,723
You've got to get the old folks home
to the old folks' home.

332
00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:55,527
No way. They're finally
having some fun.

333
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:58,728
- ?? [ Calypso ]
- How low can I go?

334
00:18:58,837 --> 00:19:01,101
- [ Bone Snaps ]
- [ Yelps ] That's it.

335
00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:03,572
- Gee, Bart, maybe you're right.
- [ Watch Alarm Beeps ]

336
00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:06,439
They don't even seem to care
that it's medication time.

337
00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:08,103
- Medication time? Hot dog!
- [All Murmuring]

338
00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:11,239
- Gimme, gimme, gimme!
- [ Chattering ]

339
00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:13,648
But I've setyou free.

340
00:19:13,752 --> 00:19:16,983
No more nap time. No more bingo.
You can do whateveryou want.

341
00:19:18,390 --> 00:19:21,120
- Let's play bingo.
- Yeah! Let's play bingo.

342
00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:23,694
- You sunk my battleship.
- [ All Laughing ]

343
00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:26,088
[ Sighs ]

344
00:19:29,968 --> 00:19:34,132
Now, Smithers,yousayyoupainted
allyournavybuddies this way?

345
00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:37,640
Until I was discharged, sir.

346
00:19:41,146 --> 00:19:43,910
I don't get it, Grampa.
Ifyou guys like all that boring stuff...

347
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,984
why did you follow me out here?

348
00:19:46,084 --> 00:19:48,609
Gotta do somethin' till bingo.

349
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,347
[ All Gasp ]

350
00:19:50,455 --> 00:19:52,719
[ All Screaming ]

351
00:19:52,824 --> 00:19:56,123
How could you miss that huge boat
coming right at us?

352
00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:57,217
- Oh. Two glass eyes.
- [ Clink, Clink]

353
00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:06,369
Oh, it's not fair.
I'm not supposed to die now.

354
00:20:06,471 --> 00:20:09,804
I'm supposed to die in a foolish
motorcycle stunt at the age of 1 5.

355
00:20:09,908 --> 00:20:13,309
Ha, ha! You're not dead yet,
you pudgy little pisher.

356
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:15,880
- [ Together] Jack La Lanne!
- Don't worry.

357
00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:18,279
I'll saveyou theJack La Lanne way!

358
00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:22,152
[ Grunts ]

359
00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:28,890
[ All Cheering ]

360
00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:34,892
- [ Yelping ]
- [ All Screaming ]

361
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,968
Uh-oh.

362
00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:40,070
- This is all Bart's fault.
- Let's get him.

363
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:42,072
- I blame him.
- He's killed us all.

364
00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:43,869
I want some taquitos.

365
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:45,671
Leave him alone!

366
00:20:45,777 --> 00:20:48,940
Sure, Bart's responsible
for our deaths.

367
00:20:49,047 --> 00:20:52,210
But he gave us the most fun
we had in 20 years.

368
00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:55,343
So before we go
to ourwatery graves...

369
00:20:55,454 --> 00:20:57,615
I say that we--
[ Gurgling ]

370
00:20:57,723 --> 00:21:00,658
[ All Screaming ]

371
00:21:02,794 --> 00:21:04,318
[ All Sigh ]

372
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:07,125
[ All Screaming ]

373
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,064
[ All Sigh ]

374
00:21:10,168 --> 00:21:12,636
[ All Scream, Sigh ]

375
00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:15,400
What the heck's going on?

376
00:21:15,507 --> 00:21:18,476
??[HomerSinging, Echoing]

377
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:30,751
Ah. What a shame.
Not a looker in the bunch.

378
00:21:33,525 --> 00:21:37,086
So, you workin' tomorrow
at the home, Bart?

379
00:21:37,195 --> 00:21:39,755
Well, I finished
my community service.

380
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:42,561
Oh. Right.

381
00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:45,432
But I could swing by after school.

382
00:21:45,537 --> 00:21:47,835
- I'll bring the limbo stick.
- Hot diggety!

383
00:21:47,939 --> 00:21:50,271
?? [ Humming Calypso]

384
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:52,275
?? [Vocalizing ]

385
00:21:52,377 --> 00:21:54,277
Hey. Stop shakin' the harness.

386
00:21:54,379 --> 00:21:55,814
How low can I go!

387
00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:56,906
How low can I go!

388
00:21:57,015 --> 00:21:58,983
[WaterSplashes ]

389
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:04,020
??['60s Pop ]

390
00:22:18,236 --> 00:22:20,204
[LoudShout]

391
00:22:46,131 --> 00:22:49,328
?? [Ends ]