1
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:07,303
??[Chorus Singing]

2
00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:19,984
[Bell Ringing]

3
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,918
[ Whistle Blowing]

4
00:00:30,397 --> 00:00:32,297
[ Beeping ]

5
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,938
?? [Jazzy Solo ]

6
00:01:00,026 --> 00:01:01,926
[ Beeping ]

7
00:01:02,028 --> 00:01:03,928
[ Tires Screeching ]

8
00:01:05,298 --> 00:01:07,232
D'oh!
[ Screams ]

9
00:01:09,969 --> 00:01:11,937
[ Homer, Bart Scream ]

10
00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:26,912
And as we pass
the collection plate...

11
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:30,456
please give as though the person
next toyou were watching.

12
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:33,492
[ Groans, Sighs ]
Oh, man.

13
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:35,788
This is the hottest Easter ever.

14
00:01:35,895 --> 00:01:37,760
Even that praying mantis
is losing it.

15
00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:39,764
[ Groaning ]

16
00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:43,436
Thankyou, Helen.

17
00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:46,630
And thankyou all foryour kind contrib--
[ Gasps ]

18
00:01:46,739 --> 00:01:48,707
A chocolate bunny?

19
00:01:48,808 --> 00:01:51,538
Who put this wicked idol
in the collection plate?

20
00:01:51,644 --> 00:01:54,943
- [ Congregation Gasps ]
- Relax. I found it in the Dumpster.

21
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:58,381
Perhaps we need a hefty dose
ofthe good book.

22
00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:00,453
[Marge Groans ]

23
00:02:00,553 --> 00:02:02,521
"In the beginning"--

24
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:05,989
Excuse me, Reverend.
It's hard to hearyou with those fans going.

25
00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:08,788
- Well, let's get those offthen.
- [ Homer Groans ]

26
00:02:08,895 --> 00:02:10,954
"In the beginning...

27
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:15,160
Godcreatedthe heavens
and the Earth."

28
00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:18,203
- Which brings us back to our--
- [ Snores ]

29
00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:23,475
Ooh. Ooh!

30
00:02:23,576 --> 00:02:26,044
[ Animals Purring, Calling ]

31
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:34,347
What a beautiful garden.

32
00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:37,150
- It's almost like paradise.
- [Homer] Heads up!

33
00:02:38,791 --> 00:02:41,157
Whee!
[ Grunts ]

34
00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:43,388
[ Gasps ]

35
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:47,159
- Well, hello.
- Aren'tyou hurt?

36
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:49,531
Of course not.
There's no pain in the Garden of Eden.

37
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:52,696
Hey, you must be Eve.

38
00:02:52,805 --> 00:02:54,773
Mmm, I guess.

39
00:02:54,874 --> 00:02:58,571
Looks like God madeyou
out of my sexiest rib. [ Growls ]

40
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:02,239
- Speaking of ribs, is there any grub around here?
- Is there!

41
00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:05,249
Good morning, Adam.
Any bacon foryou then?

42
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,979
Don't mind ifl do.

43
00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:11,382
[ Ned ]
Hi-diddly-ho, paradise dwellers!

44
00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:13,982
- [ Gasps ]
- Good morning, Lord.
I just have to complimentyou...

45
00:03:14,093 --> 00:03:16,755
on this beautifully crafted mate.

46
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:21,061
- Oh, Adam, you're too kind.
- No, you're too kind and wise and righteous.

47
00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:23,158
I can't believe
you don't have a girlfriend.

48
00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:25,863
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, please! You're gonna give me a swelled head.

49
00:03:25,972 --> 00:03:28,236
I just stopped by to see
ifyou needed anything.

50
00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:31,367
Well, some general-interest
magazines would be nice.

51
00:03:31,477 --> 00:03:33,468
You got it, Eve.

52
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,548
- Thereyou go.
- Oh, thanks.

53
00:03:35,648 --> 00:03:39,311
Well, I better skedaddle.
Oh, there's one more weensy little thing.

54
00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:40,653
See that tree over there?
I hate to be a bossy Betty...

55
00:03:40,653 --> 00:03:42,587
See that tree over there?
I hate to be a bossy Betty...

56
00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:44,987
but I have to forbidyou
to eat its fruit.

57
00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:47,252
No problem, Lord.
And it would be even easier...

58
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,954
to avoid that temptation
if I had a few extra wives.

59
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,031
- [ Groans ]
- I'm just sayin'.

60
00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:54,531
- [ Chittering ]
- Oh, how cute.

61
00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:56,898
Let's call this little guy
a groundhog.

62
00:03:57,003 --> 00:04:00,495
- Sorry, I already gave him a name: land monster.
- Really?

63
00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:02,973
Well, what doyou call
that thing on the branch?

64
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,044
- [ Hisses ]
- Branch monster.

65
00:04:05,144 --> 00:04:07,738
[ Snake ]
Please, please, call me Snake.

66
00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:10,145
Yo, haveyou dudes
sampled this fruit?

67
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,582
It's, like, God's private stash.

68
00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:14,653
But he said it was forbidden.

69
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,484
Quite so, mum.
I recall one ofthe dinosaurs had a bite.

70
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:20,923
And, well,
that was the last of-- Egad!

71
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:28,256
Please stop eating that.
God's going to be furious.

72
00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:30,336
You're pretty uptight
for a naked chick.

73
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,927
You know what would loosen you up?
A little fruit.

74
00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:36,873
Mmm, well, it is a sin
to waste food.

75
00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:40,468
And you keep saying
we need to do things together.

76
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,980
Hmm.

77
00:04:43,082 --> 00:04:47,280
- Mmm! This could really spice up
those pies I've been making.
- [Thunderclap ]

78
00:04:47,387 --> 00:04:49,355
- [Ned] What the dickens?
- [ Gasps ]

79
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:52,481
Eve, did you taste
ofthe forbidden fruit?

80
00:04:52,592 --> 00:04:54,583
- Ohh.
- ?? [ Whistling ]

81
00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:56,559
Yes, God.

82
00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:58,631
Doggone it, Eve.

83
00:04:58,731 --> 00:05:01,165
I thinkyou'd better hightail it
out ofthis garden!

84
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:03,235
Adam, say something!

85
00:05:03,336 --> 00:05:07,534
Uh, um-- Uh, I thinkwe
should see other people.

86
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,234
- You heard me. Vamoose!
- [ Gasps ]

87
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,074
[ Groans ]

88
00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:16,914
[Whines ]

89
00:05:17,016 --> 00:05:21,282
Oh! Usually a mink massage
makes me feel better.

90
00:05:21,387 --> 00:05:23,355
But something's missing now.

91
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:25,424
I didn't say stop.

92
00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:27,891
Lovely day in paradise, isn't it?

93
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,121
Yeah.
Just likeyesterday.

94
00:05:30,229 --> 00:05:33,892
Today I'm featuring mouthwatering pork ribs.
Tuck in then.

95
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,264
[ Sloshing, Snapping ]

96
00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:39,805
Oh. I gave a rib to Eve,
and now she's gone forever.

97
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:44,275
One whole rib and still standing.
Well, aren'tyou the plucky one, sir?

98
00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:47,039
- Come on!
- Oh, poor Eve.

99
00:05:47,146 --> 00:05:49,580
What areyou doing out there
in that horrible place?

100
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:52,048
I'm toiling.
What does it look like?

101
00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:56,485
Oh, this is myfault. I should have stood up
foryou during thatwhole "Applegate" thing.

102
00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:58,648
Well, it's a little late
for apologies now.

103
00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:01,318
Don't say that.
Maybe I can sneakyou back in.

104
00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:05,022
I mean, God can't be
everywhere at once, right?

105
00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:08,567
?? [ Whistling, Scatting ]

106
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:10,636
Somebody order a hole?

107
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:13,638
Ooh, that's a tight squeeze.

108
00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:16,641
- [ Gasping ]
- Oh, thankyou.

109
00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:19,075
- Areyou okay?
- I'll be fine.

110
00:06:19,178 --> 00:06:21,646
Just give me a second to--
[ Groans ]

111
00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:23,477
- [ Gasps ]
- [Homer] Come on, Eve! Hurry!

112
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:25,483
[ Grunting ]

113
00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:30,147
Oh, my dear sweet Eve.

114
00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:33,953
I love you even more than
the butterscotch pond or the porno bush.

115
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,994
[Thunderclap ]

116
00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:38,791
- So! This is how you repay me, Adam!
- [ Gasps ]

117
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:43,096
- [ Both Groan ]
- And after I created my fingers
to the bone foryou. I--

118
00:06:43,202 --> 00:06:46,296
[ Gasps, Screams ]
My unicorn!

119
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,533
Oh, what have they
done to you, Gary?

120
00:06:48,641 --> 00:06:53,374
Oh, there, there. I'm sure he's
gone to a better place, Lord.

121
00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:56,573
Oh, shut up!
You are so banished.

122
00:06:56,682 --> 00:07:01,210
Hey, now let's not do anything rash.
God is love, right?

123
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,778
- [ Screams ]
- God, you have every right to flick me out too.

124
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:07,416
But beforeyou--
[ Screams ]

125
00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:09,586
Oh, my back!

126
00:07:09,695 --> 00:07:11,788
So this must be that pain thing.

127
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:13,866
[ Groans ]
Oh, yeah.

128
00:07:13,966 --> 00:07:15,934
Definitely pain.

129
00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:19,104
[Animal Howling
In Distance ]

130
00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:22,039
This sucks.

131
00:07:22,141 --> 00:07:24,575
Things were so much better
back in the garden.

132
00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:27,510
I'm sure God
will let us return soon.

133
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,877
I mean, how long
can he hold a grudge?

134
00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:31,950
- [Reverend Lovejoy] "Forever--
- Hmm?

135
00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:33,985
"and ever...

136
00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:37,546
and ever, a"--

137
00:07:39,225 --> 00:07:42,023
And that concludes Genesis...

138
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:46,360
the first of the 66 books
of the Bible.

139
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,798
[ Clears Throat ]
Moving on to Exodus--

140
00:07:48,901 --> 00:07:50,801
[ Groaning ]

141
00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:54,971
[ Laughing, Chattering ]

142
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:01,246
And Abraham begat Isaac,
and Isaac begatJacob...

143
00:08:01,347 --> 00:08:03,338
and who did he beget?

144
00:08:03,449 --> 00:08:04,882
?? [ Blows Note ]

145
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:08,283
All right. Let's go,
you wee Israelites.

146
00:08:08,387 --> 00:08:10,821
Back to slavin'.

147
00:08:10,923 --> 00:08:12,584
[ All Groan ]

148
00:08:14,293 --> 00:08:16,261
[ Groaning ]

149
00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:20,032
Man, captivity blows.

150
00:08:20,132 --> 00:08:22,498
- Talk to the whip. [ Grunts ]
- [Yelps ]

151
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:25,036
[ Whinnying ]

152
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:28,197
On your knees, ya mugs!
It's the pharaoh!

153
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,977
Ah, excellent progress,
Slave DriverWillie.

154
00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:34,376
- Kudos on yourwhipping.
- Oh, he noticed!

155
00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:38,109
Ay! Suffering sarcophagus!
My tomb!

156
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:42,046
- Who did this?
- [ Chuckles ]

157
00:08:42,154 --> 00:08:45,749
Come on, confess. Don't make me slay
all the firstborn males again.

158
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:50,761
Bart didit.
Isawhim do it.

159
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:53,388
Take him away, boys.

160
00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:55,399
No!
The bush set me up!

161
00:08:55,501 --> 00:08:59,096
As for the rest ofyou,
it's time for a little discipline.

162
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:03,107
Slave Driver, put away the encouragement whip
and break out the cruel whip.

163
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,539
[ All Gasp, Murmur]

164
00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:10,013
- [ Grunts ]
- [ All Yelp]

165
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:12,414
Heh! That's the new omni-lash, boys.

166
00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:16,045
-Just look at that snapback.
-Yeah, it's sweet.

167
00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:20,319
We can't keep living like this.
Moses, ask Pharaoh to letyour people go.

168
00:09:20,426 --> 00:09:23,088
Oh, now they're my people.

169
00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:30,097
Scrub harder, slave!
I want to be able to eat offthat thing!

170
00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:32,033
And make it snappy.
It's almost lunchtime.

171
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:41,272
I think Moses here has
something to askyou. Go!

172
00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:43,575
- Uh, let my people go.
- Letyour people go?

173
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:47,779
I've never heard such insolence!
You call yourselves slaves?

174
00:09:47,887 --> 00:09:50,412
[ Both Groaning ]

175
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:55,183
Well, the ball's in his court now.

176
00:09:55,294 --> 00:09:59,253
Allright, readme back
what I have so far, Mrs. Krabapatra.

177
00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:02,129
"Bird, bird, giant eye,
pyramid, bird."

178
00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:04,361
Mm-hmm. Very good.

179
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:08,600
Uh, giant eye, dead fish,
cat head, cat head, cat head...

180
00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:11,268
guy doing this--

181
00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:13,004
- [ Croaking ]
- What? What the--

182
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:16,548
- Keep that plague coming, Moses.
- Frogs away!

183
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:19,015
[ Laughing ]

184
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:23,179
We spent all our money, but it was worth it.
Now he's gotta let us go!

185
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,757
Mmm. Mmm!

186
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:28,850
These are the juiciest frogs
I've ever eaten.

187
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:32,260
Mmm! Ra has rewarded
my cruelty to the slaves.

188
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:35,334
It's a plague, you moron!
And we got lots more planned.

189
00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:37,402
And there's nothing
you can do about it!

190
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:42,134
- [ Both Scream ]
- So long, kids.

191
00:10:42,241 --> 00:10:44,539
Give my regards
to the British Museum.

192
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,771
[ Chuckles ]

193
00:10:46,879 --> 00:10:48,847
[ Both Screaming ]

194
00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:50,472
[ Both Grunt ]

195
00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:54,246
Doyou thinkwe could ever
be more than just friends?

196
00:10:54,353 --> 00:10:58,722
Not now, Moses!
We gotta find a way outta here.

197
00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:06,858
I know we built a secret passage
in here somewhere.

198
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:10,231
I found it!
We're outta here!

199
00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:14,872
Uh-oh.

200
00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:17,101
[ Gasping ]

201
00:11:17,209 --> 00:11:19,302
[ Together]
Help!

202
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,676
Eh, slave labor.
You get whatyou pay for.

203
00:11:28,888 --> 00:11:30,788
- Whee!
- Whoo!

204
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:32,619
- Whee!
- ?? [ Blows ]

205
00:11:34,326 --> 00:11:36,521
[ All ]
Huh?

206
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:38,995
Our time has come!
Follow me to freedom!

207
00:11:39,098 --> 00:11:40,998
- [ Cheering ]
- ?? [ Blows ]

208
00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:44,702
?? [ Continues ]

209
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:50,497
Hey, Pharaoh, those half-pint slaves
are "exodusing" as we speak.

210
00:11:50,609 --> 00:11:52,907
Well, I say good riddance
to bad rubbish.

211
00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:55,708
Okay. But who's gonna build
your pyramids?

212
00:11:55,815 --> 00:11:57,840
Well, we cou--After them!

213
00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:02,452
[ Sighs ]
We'll never be able to swim that far.

214
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,853
[ Whinnying ]

215
00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:08,018
- Oy, ¡caramba!
- Screw this!

216
00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:11,494
I'm converting!
Save us, O mighty Ra!

217
00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:14,498
Hey, cut that out!
I have an idea.

218
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,569
All right, Moses.
Lead your people!

219
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:20,735
Flush!

220
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,365
[ Toilets Flushing ]

221
00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:33,309
It's a miracle!
I performed a miracle! I'm a genius!

222
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,286
Yeah, yeah. Hurry, everyone!
We don't have much time!

223
00:12:38,824 --> 00:12:41,725
After them, men,
into the temporarily dry sea.

224
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:49,866
- Aw, nuts.
- [ Horses Whinnying ]

225
00:12:53,672 --> 00:12:55,572
[ Gasping ]

226
00:12:56,909 --> 00:13:00,242
- [Skinner] Oh!
- Hey, Chief!. He splashed me!

227
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:04,043
Look, nobody likes a crybaby, okay?
You just splash him back.

228
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:06,050
[ Cheering]

229
00:13:08,387 --> 00:13:11,151
Well, Lisa, we're out of Egypt.

230
00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:14,590
So, what's next for the Israelites?
Land of milk and honey?

231
00:13:14,693 --> 00:13:19,323
Hmm. Well, actually it looks like we're in
for 40 years ofwandering the desert.

232
00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:22,332
Fortyyears?

233
00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:25,870
But after that, it's clear sailing
for theJews, right?

234
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:29,873
Uhh-- [ Quavering ] More or less.
Hey, is that manna?

235
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,943
[ Cheering ]

236
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:43,311
Now we come to King Solomon,
whose wisdom was like a drill...

237
00:13:43,422 --> 00:13:46,118
boring into the rock ofinjustice.

238
00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:48,989
Boring.

239
00:13:49,094 --> 00:13:51,153
Boring.

240
00:13:51,263 --> 00:13:53,231
Boring.

241
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,300
[ Yawns ]

242
00:13:56,802 --> 00:14:00,795
King Solomon, these men need you
to settle a dispute.

243
00:14:00,906 --> 00:14:03,966
They each claim ownership
of this pie.

244
00:14:04,076 --> 00:14:06,271
Hmm.

245
00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:08,505
The pie shall be cut in two.

246
00:14:10,482 --> 00:14:14,441
And each man shall receive... death.

247
00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:17,021
- [ Gasps ]
- I'll eat the pie.

248
00:14:20,092 --> 00:14:22,060
Okay, next up--

249
00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:24,561
"Jesus Christ
versus Checker Chariot."

250
00:14:33,572 --> 00:14:37,440
- Ow. Dad, you're sitting on my arm.
- [ Grunts ]

251
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,875
"And after David smote Goliath...

252
00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:42,209
"the people crowded
into the temple--

253
00:14:42,314 --> 00:14:45,010
- [ Wheezing ]
- "where a cool breeze blew not.

254
00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:47,915
And theirhearts were
filled with crankiness."

255
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:51,217
- [ Groans ]
- And once again--

256
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,983
?? [ Harp ]

257
00:14:55,094 --> 00:14:57,688
I 'm bored.
Send i n my jester.

258
00:14:57,796 --> 00:15:00,959
Hey, hey, King David!
[ Chuckles ] How ya doin'?

259
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:03,728
Now, I'm not saying
Jezebel's easy...

260
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:07,567
but before she moved to Sodom
it was known for its pottery.

261
00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:09,641
- [ Laughs ]
- What else you got?

262
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,768
Well, wait a minute.
I got something on the Canaanites.

263
00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:15,403
Oh. They are so stupid--

264
00:15:15,514 --> 00:15:17,414
[ Groaning ]

265
00:15:18,884 --> 00:15:20,852
[ Crowd Gasps ]

266
00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:25,520
Methuselah, my oldest friend,
who did this toyou?

267
00:15:25,624 --> 00:15:29,617
Oh, it was Goliath.

268
00:15:29,728 --> 00:15:32,629
But Goliath is dead.
I smote him myself.

269
00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:34,699
I "smoted" him good.

270
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,997
No, it was his son, Goliath II.
[ Grunts ]

271
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:41,470
No-o-o!

272
00:15:41,573 --> 00:15:43,871
Goliath II is gonna pay.

273
00:15:43,976 --> 00:15:47,070
And this time it's biblical.

274
00:15:57,723 --> 00:16:00,624
I'll just give Goliath II
the old rock to the head...

275
00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:04,093
applause, applause, you gotta believe in yourself,
stay in school, and we're outta here.

276
00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:07,859
- I don't know, Davey.
- Quiet, you.

277
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,528
- Oh, you've gotten pretty fat, Davey.
- [Thudding]

278
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,935
[ Gasps ]

279
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:16,007
Let's get it on!

280
00:16:16,108 --> 00:16:18,406
See ya later, Davey.

281
00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:20,637
You killed my best friend!

282
00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:22,839
[ All ]
Ooh-hoo!

283
00:16:22,948 --> 00:16:26,247
You killed my father,
who was like a best friend!

284
00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:28,286
[ All ]
Ooh-hoo!

285
00:16:28,387 --> 00:16:33,950
All I need is my trusty sling
and one good, hard, um--

286
00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:37,517
Say, how's tomorrow foryou?
[ Gasps ]

287
00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:39,529
[ Groaning ]

288
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:47,068
- [ Groans ]
- What sayyou now, Goliath?

289
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:51,131
Withoutyour precious hair,
you no longer possess your fantastic strength!

290
00:16:51,243 --> 00:16:54,406
- That's Samson, idiot!
- [ Gulps ]

291
00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:56,481
[ Frightened Yelps ]

292
00:16:57,716 --> 00:17:00,082
[ All Gasp ]

293
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:04,187
Let my proclamation
go out across the land:

294
00:17:04,289 --> 00:17:07,190
- Ha-ha!
- [ All ] Ha-ha!

295
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:09,556
[ Screams ]

296
00:17:09,661 --> 00:17:12,926
Oh. I hope this doesn't
get into the Bible.

297
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:16,866
You're King David.
I loveyou, 'causeyou kill people.

298
00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:21,838
Getyourselfanother hero, kid.
I'm all washed up. [ Grunts ]

299
00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:24,909
Well, I guess it's up to Ralph
to stop Goliath.

300
00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:27,604
[ Sheep Bleating ]

301
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,681
?? [ Humming ]

302
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:36,150
Goliath II is really gonna pay!

303
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:39,554
Get readyto meet
the first action hero.

304
00:17:39,658 --> 00:17:41,353
- [ Bleats ]
- Wow.

305
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:45,362
- ??['80s Rock]
- [ Grunting ]

306
00:17:51,503 --> 00:17:53,596
[ Grunts ]
Ow!

307
00:17:53,705 --> 00:17:56,196
??[Ends ]

308
00:17:56,308 --> 00:18:00,176
Allright.
It's giant-slaying time.

309
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:04,978
- [ Groaning ]
- Oops.

310
00:18:07,886 --> 00:18:10,184
- [Shouts, Grunts ]
- Crap.

311
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:18,052
[ Groans ]
How am I supposed to get up there?

312
00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:23,935
[ Burps ]

313
00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:31,467
Jonah! Oh!

314
00:18:31,577 --> 00:18:34,808
You died the wayyou lived--
inside a whale.

315
00:18:34,913 --> 00:18:36,608
[ Gasps ]

316
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:40,417
Hmm.

317
00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:43,455
[ Grunting ]

318
00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:49,889
I trampled four giant-slayers today.

319
00:18:49,995 --> 00:18:52,463
I think I earned this.

320
00:18:52,564 --> 00:18:55,158
Don'tyou knowsmoking
stuntsyourgrowth?

321
00:18:55,267 --> 00:18:58,464
Well, well, well,
ifit isn't the little prince.

322
00:18:58,570 --> 00:19:01,471
I'm not afraid ofyou, Goliath.
Before, I was arrogant.

323
00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:05,031
But now my heart is humbled.
And my spirit is--

324
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,669
[ Groaning, Whimpering ]

325
00:19:07,779 --> 00:19:10,805
What doyou know?
A king fit for a meal.

326
00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:16,479
Hope I don't giveyou... heartburn!
[ Grunts ]

327
00:19:16,588 --> 00:19:18,180
[ Gulps ]

328
00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:20,315
[ Screams ]

329
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:25,629
[ Groaning ]

330
00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:28,791
Huh?

331
00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:35,501
Great news, everyone.
Goliath is dead!

332
00:19:35,607 --> 00:19:40,135
Although I haven't seen his body, the blast
that failed to kill me surely killed the giant.

333
00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:43,078
Anyhoo, now that
I'm your king again--

334
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,082
[ Shouts ]

335
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,651
[ Screams ]

336
00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:50,483
- [Crunching]
- [ Screams ]

337
00:19:50,589 --> 00:19:53,114
[Thuds ]

338
00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:58,961
- Ralph, I thoughtyou were dead.
- Nope!

339
00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:03,763
Rejoice, goodpeople!
Goliath the Terrible shall rule no more!

340
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:07,066
- But Goliath was the greatest king we ever had.
- Wha--

341
00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:10,198
He built roads,
hospitals, libraries.

342
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:13,506
To us he was
Goliath the Consensus Builder.

343
00:20:13,612 --> 00:20:17,309
- You're under arrest for "megacide."
- [ Whines ]

344
00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:22,643
- [ Grunts ]
- Where's your messiah now?

345
00:20:22,754 --> 00:20:25,018
[ All Laughing ]

346
00:20:37,369 --> 00:20:39,337
- [ Groans, Gasps ]
- [ Snoring ]

347
00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:41,338
- Mmm. Mmm.
- Huh?

348
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,340
[ Clears Throat]

349
00:20:43,442 --> 00:20:45,342
[ Gasps ]
Everyone's gone.

350
00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:49,744
Oh, how embarrassing.
Ooh, we slept right through church.

351
00:20:49,848 --> 00:20:52,442
Eh, it's not the end oftheworld.

352
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,019
[ All Gasping ]

353
00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:01,092
[ All Laughing ]

354
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,859
Oh, no!
It's the apocalypse!

355
00:21:05,964 --> 00:21:09,024
- Bart, areyou wearing clean underwear?
- Not anymore.

356
00:21:09,134 --> 00:21:12,535
It's the rapture!
And I never knew true love.

357
00:21:12,638 --> 00:21:14,765
I never used those pizza coupons!

358
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:19,240
?? [Angelic Vocalizing]

359
00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:25,177
- Why aren't we ascending into heaven?
- [Rumbling]

360
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,275
Oh, right.
The sins.

361
00:21:27,386 --> 00:21:29,820
Wha-- Ohh!

362
00:21:29,921 --> 00:21:32,913
- Where do you thinkyou're going, missy?
- Dad!

363
00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:35,493
[ All Scream ]

364
00:21:36,595 --> 00:21:39,325
[ Sniffing ]
Ooh! I smell barbecue!

365
00:21:39,431 --> 00:21:42,628
[ Giggling ]
Hey, look!

366
00:21:42,734 --> 00:21:47,728
[Screams ]
Oh, they're out ofhot dogs!

367
00:21:47,839 --> 00:21:51,002
And the coleslaw
has pineapple in it!

368
00:21:51,109 --> 00:21:53,669
[Screams ]
German potato salad!

369
00:21:53,779 --> 00:21:55,614
?? [ Hard Rock ]

370
00:21:55,614 --> 00:21:57,104
?? [ Hard Rock ]

371
00:22:38,924 --> 00:22:41,017
?? [ Ends ]

372
00:22:41,126 --> 00:22:43,094
- [ Murm uri ng ]
- Shh!