1
00:00:05,817 --> 00:00:07,136
Bart on the Road

2
00:00:28,297 --> 00:00:32,529
Spring break in Hong Kong.
Custom-made suits at slave-labor prices...

3
00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:35,805
Good Lord, they've got this all wrong.

4
00:00:36,617 --> 00:00:39,734
- This is Principal Seymour Skinner.
- How can I help you, principal?

5
00:00:39,937 --> 00:00:41,768
There's some problems
with my tickets.

6
00:00:41,937 --> 00:00:44,087
I asked for a center seat,
not an aisle seat.

7
00:00:44,257 --> 00:00:46,851
I specifically requested
not to have the kosher meal.

8
00:00:47,017 --> 00:00:49,690
I booked the Saturday morning
flight, not Friday morning!

9
00:00:49,897 --> 00:00:52,092
Okay, I've gone ahead
and made those changes.

10
00:00:52,257 --> 00:00:57,012
And with the one-day advance
purchase price, it's just an extra $ 7830.

11
00:00:57,217 --> 00:00:59,856
GM Chrysler, I can't afford that!

12
00:01:00,697 --> 00:01:04,610
But I can't close the school a day early
just to suit my vacation.

13
00:01:04,777 --> 00:01:06,290
Or can I?

14
00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:08,129
Think, Seymour, think.

15
00:01:08,337 --> 00:01:10,168
"Go to Work with Your Parents Day"?

16
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:12,248
Yes, Go to Work
with Your Parents Day.

17
00:01:12,417 --> 00:01:14,806
You will learn by doing.
And apply your knowledge...

18
00:01:14,977 --> 00:01:17,730
...of fractions and gym
to real-world situations.

19
00:01:19,737 --> 00:01:22,934
I still don't understand why you get
to stay home and watch Mom work.

20
00:01:23,097 --> 00:01:26,328
Because I've always been an advocate
of women in the workplace, Lis.

21
00:01:26,497 --> 00:01:29,216
I can't help it if Mom's workplace
contains our TV.

22
00:01:29,377 --> 00:01:31,288
I'm honored, Bart.

23
00:01:31,457 --> 00:01:33,846
Lisa, you'll have a fine time
at the plant with Dad.

24
00:01:34,057 --> 00:01:36,287
You've been interested
in nuclear power for years.

25
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,852
I've signed petitions
to shut down that plant.

26
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:41,446
- Well, there you go.
- Mom, you're blocking the TV.

27
00:01:41,617 --> 00:01:43,733
If you need something to do,
fill out my form.

28
00:01:44,057 --> 00:01:45,775
"Parent's occupation.

29
00:01:45,937 --> 00:01:49,850
Please note, 'homemaker' is not
allowed, as it is not real work.

30
00:01:50,017 --> 00:01:53,134
That's why you don't get paid for it."

31
00:01:53,337 --> 00:01:54,929
Bart can take my place
at the plant.

32
00:01:55,137 --> 00:01:57,253
But he so wanted to see
women in the workplace.

33
00:01:57,417 --> 00:02:00,887
Well, how about Aunt Patty
and Aunt Selma at the DMV?

34
00:02:01,057 --> 00:02:05,573
Of course! Of course, I would
never, ever have thought of that.

35
00:02:08,377 --> 00:02:11,255
Some days we don't
let the line move at all.

36
00:02:11,417 --> 00:02:14,011
We call those "weekdays."

37
00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,451
Good one.

38
00:02:17,057 --> 00:02:20,094
Well, at least I'm not stuck
at the cracker factory like Milhouse.

39
00:02:25,137 --> 00:02:28,652
- Ever wonder how crackers get salted?
- Have I!

40
00:02:32,817 --> 00:02:34,455
Crackers, ho!

41
00:02:34,657 --> 00:02:37,535
I never knew cracker production
could be so exciting!

42
00:02:37,737 --> 00:02:41,366
But where do they make those crackers
with the peanut butter already inside?

43
00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:44,335
Put this on and come with me, son.

44
00:02:49,577 --> 00:02:52,569
- Doughnut?
- No, thanks. Do you have any fruit?

45
00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:56,047
This has purple stuff inside.
Purple is a fruit.

46
00:02:58,577 --> 00:03:01,137
This is a map of nuclear sites
around the country.

47
00:03:01,297 --> 00:03:04,892
As a safety inspector, I'm responsible
for changing most of these light bulbs.

48
00:03:05,057 --> 00:03:07,013
Why are there
so many burnt-out ones?

49
00:03:07,217 --> 00:03:09,208
Because they won't hire an assistant.

50
00:03:10,497 --> 00:03:13,933
Martin, here's $ 10 to invest
in the futures market.

51
00:03:14,137 --> 00:03:15,695
Soy! Soy! Soy!

52
00:03:15,857 --> 00:03:17,973
Soy! Soy!

53
00:03:19,457 --> 00:03:23,370
- Martin, you're up $ 1 million.
- Yes!

54
00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:27,966
And now you've lost all but $600.
You got greedy, Martin.

55
00:03:31,337 --> 00:03:34,773
I'm sorry. I guess watching me isn't
any more exciting than being me.

56
00:03:34,937 --> 00:03:37,531
Maybe we can make your job
more fun.

57
00:03:37,777 --> 00:03:39,290
- What are those?
- I don't know.

58
00:03:39,457 --> 00:03:41,607
Well, what if we used
our imaginations?

59
00:03:41,817 --> 00:03:47,414
Houston, we have a problem.
Homer 13 is spinning out of control.

60
00:03:47,617 --> 00:03:49,335
I'm going after him.

61
00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:56,097
Boy, this is a lot more fun
with a second person.

62
00:04:01,297 --> 00:04:05,006
Okay. One more step.
I just gotta go laminate your license.

63
00:04:05,177 --> 00:04:07,771
- You'll get it in two to three weeks.
- Hot damn!

64
00:04:07,937 --> 00:04:10,770
No more sitting in the dirt
at the drive-in.

65
00:04:10,977 --> 00:04:15,528
Bart, I left the driver's-license-making
machine on. Turn it off.

66
00:04:23,257 --> 00:04:27,330
Twenty-five years old?
You're not 25 years old.

67
00:04:27,537 --> 00:04:29,255
This ID is completely fake.

68
00:04:29,417 --> 00:04:32,295
Yes. You're right, Milhouse.
It is a fake.

69
00:04:32,457 --> 00:04:34,493
Which makes it a fake ID.

70
00:04:34,697 --> 00:04:37,257
A fake ID? Cool!

71
00:04:37,457 --> 00:04:41,450
And it's our ticket
to the best spring break of our lives!

72
00:04:41,657 --> 00:04:44,012
One adult and two children, please.

73
00:04:48,017 --> 00:04:51,692
I can think of at least two things
wrong with that title.

74
00:04:53,697 --> 00:04:56,734
Twenty five? Whoa!
Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. S.

75
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,649
But, you know,
I gotta check everybody.

76
00:04:58,857 --> 00:05:03,328
What, are you kidding? I take it
as a compliment. Three beers, please.

77
00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:07,205
Hey, join the party.

78
00:05:13,377 --> 00:05:15,493
Spring break!

79
00:05:15,657 --> 00:05:17,056
Yeah!

80
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:20,377
Well, when are we gonna get rowdy?

81
00:05:20,577 --> 00:05:23,137
Maybe when we find something
decent to do with this ID.

82
00:05:23,297 --> 00:05:26,289
We could go rent a carpet shampooer.

83
00:05:28,617 --> 00:05:31,927
Greetings, chums. Were your days
at work as profitable as mine?

84
00:05:32,097 --> 00:05:35,487
I just had a sinful shopping spree
at Wee World.

85
00:05:35,697 --> 00:05:37,767
We're having the spring break
of our lives...

86
00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:41,816
...and we don't need you nerding it up.
- That job is taken.

87
00:05:42,017 --> 00:05:47,216
But surely I and my $600 could play
some small part in your vacation fun.

88
00:05:47,377 --> 00:05:49,607
Yeah, right. Like there's any way
to get kicks...

89
00:05:49,777 --> 00:05:52,610
...with a big wad of cash
and a license to drive...

90
00:06:01,177 --> 00:06:04,567
Oh, boy, Flipsy! You and I are going
on a road trip.

91
00:06:16,057 --> 00:06:18,696
Gentlemen, for our road trip,
I have taken the liberty...

92
00:06:18,857 --> 00:06:24,853
...of preparing an airtight and utterly
plausible alibi for use on our parents.

93
00:06:25,057 --> 00:06:27,093
I've been selected
to represent the school...

94
00:06:27,257 --> 00:06:31,887
...at the National Grammar Rodeo
at the Sheraton Hotel in Canada.

95
00:06:32,097 --> 00:06:35,169
I've been selected to represent
the school at the Grammar Rodeo...

96
00:06:35,337 --> 00:06:37,248
...at the Sheraton Hotel in Canada.

97
00:06:37,457 --> 00:06:40,255
I'm going away for a week. See you.

98
00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:43,928
The National Grammar Rodeo?

99
00:06:44,097 --> 00:06:46,372
I wish I were going.
Oh, wait, wait. I mean...

100
00:06:46,537 --> 00:06:48,653
...I wish I was going.

101
00:06:48,817 --> 00:06:50,614
Is that right, Bart?

102
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:53,252
It's not fair.
I'm the best student in school.

103
00:06:53,417 --> 00:06:55,487
How come I never heard
about this competition?

104
00:06:55,657 --> 00:06:59,935
Maybe because you are, as we say
in Latin, a "dorkus malorkus."

105
00:07:00,097 --> 00:07:03,453
That's not Latin. Mom, Bart's faking it.

106
00:07:03,697 --> 00:07:06,734
Oh, honey, you've had your glory.
Now it's Bart's turn.

107
00:07:27,857 --> 00:07:31,486
Oh, wait! Oh, yeah!
Oh, wait...

108
00:07:33,497 --> 00:07:36,330
Bart, Nelson hit me!

109
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:37,612
He sure did.

110
00:07:39,497 --> 00:07:44,093
A cup holder!
Bart, we gotta stop and get a cup!

111
00:07:44,537 --> 00:07:46,607
- Bart?
- Cruise control, my good man.

112
00:07:46,777 --> 00:07:49,610
Everybody all set back here?
Nelson, good to see you.

113
00:07:49,777 --> 00:07:51,495
Martin, always a pleasure.

114
00:08:01,337 --> 00:08:06,206
Diablo Canyon Two, why can't
you be more like Diablo Canyon One?

115
00:08:12,497 --> 00:08:16,126
Hello? Oh, Homie, hello.

116
00:08:16,297 --> 00:08:19,255
I can't remember the last time
you called me from...

117
00:08:19,817 --> 00:08:21,216
You wanna speak to Lisa.

118
00:08:23,897 --> 00:08:26,206
Hi, Lisa.
How is your spring break going?

119
00:08:26,417 --> 00:08:29,454
- I'm learning about owls.
- Oh, owls, eh?

120
00:08:29,617 --> 00:08:32,814
So you probably wouldn't wanna
spend another day at work with me.

121
00:08:33,017 --> 00:08:36,453
Sure I would. I can always learn
about owls this summer at bird camp.

122
00:08:43,017 --> 00:08:46,089
We've arrived in the vast cornfields
of Canada.

123
00:08:46,257 --> 00:08:48,373
How much farther
to the Grammar Rodeo?

124
00:08:48,577 --> 00:08:52,172
Grammar Rodeo?
We're going to a Grammar Rodeo?

125
00:08:52,337 --> 00:08:54,771
We're not going to a Grammar Rodeo.

126
00:08:54,937 --> 00:08:56,768
- That was just an alibi, Milton.
- Martin.

127
00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:58,450
- Martin.
- Fellows?

128
00:08:58,617 --> 00:09:01,085
- What?
- Where are we going?

129
00:09:03,217 --> 00:09:07,608
Well, I realize it's trite, but we could
tour the bridges of Madison County.

130
00:09:07,817 --> 00:09:10,809
Hey, who has better vacation ideas
than AAA?

131
00:09:10,977 --> 00:09:14,253
According to the publisher
of this AAA guidebook, no one.

132
00:09:14,457 --> 00:09:16,732
I've always wanted to see
Macon, Georgia.

133
00:09:16,937 --> 00:09:18,928
Wait. How about a fair?

134
00:09:19,097 --> 00:09:22,009
Not just a county fair,
not just a Europe fair...

135
00:09:22,177 --> 00:09:26,807
...but a World's Fair! The World's Fair
in Knoxville, Tennessee.

136
00:09:26,977 --> 00:09:29,650
- Keep reading.
- The Hungarians have built a giant...

137
00:09:29,817 --> 00:09:33,526
...motorized Rubik's Cube. And the fair's
symbol is the sun sphere...

138
00:09:33,697 --> 00:09:37,576
...which sits atop
a 266-foot tall steel shaft.

139
00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:40,245
- What's inside?
- An information desk!

140
00:09:40,457 --> 00:09:41,970
Cool.

141
00:09:42,177 --> 00:09:45,249
So it's a choice between
Disney World and Knoxville.

142
00:09:45,457 --> 00:09:48,290
Knoxville! Knoxville! Knoxville!

143
00:09:48,697 --> 00:09:50,449
I concur.

144
00:09:54,617 --> 00:09:58,132
You made it. Did you have any trouble
getting past the security guards?

145
00:09:58,297 --> 00:10:00,413
- Security guards?
- Great! Wanna get some lunch?

146
00:10:00,577 --> 00:10:01,566
Sure.

147
00:10:02,137 --> 00:10:04,526
I figure if the candy
stays in the machine...

148
00:10:04,697 --> 00:10:06,927
...for more than a year,
it's up for grabs.

149
00:10:07,937 --> 00:10:10,451
- Why do you need me?
- Well, it's a two-man operation...

150
00:10:10,617 --> 00:10:12,448
...and you're the only man here
I trust.

151
00:10:12,617 --> 00:10:14,448
- Ready?
- Ready.

152
00:10:17,097 --> 00:10:19,053
Simpson, what in God's name
are you...?

153
00:10:19,257 --> 00:10:22,488
Zagnut bar, Mr. Smithers? Razzles,
Skittles, Whatchamcallit, Twizzlers?

154
00:10:22,657 --> 00:10:25,296
They all have hilarious names
and are delicious.

155
00:10:25,497 --> 00:10:28,489
Well, I am partial to Jolly Ranchers.

156
00:10:29,297 --> 00:10:31,174
Good work, Simpson.

157
00:10:31,337 --> 00:10:32,929
Simpsons.

158
00:10:33,777 --> 00:10:36,814
Boy, Lisa. With you here,
this hardly seems like work at all.

159
00:10:36,977 --> 00:10:39,650
I don't know how I'm gonna make it
through my night shift.

160
00:10:39,857 --> 00:10:42,417
- We could have a slumber party.
- Oh, that'd be great.

161
00:10:42,617 --> 00:10:45,529
Sleeping bags on the floor,
a roaring fire.

162
00:10:45,697 --> 00:10:48,734
Just like the time they kicked me out
of the sporting-goods store.

163
00:10:50,577 --> 00:10:53,933
If you kids can't keep
your hands to yourself...

164
00:10:54,097 --> 00:10:56,053
...I'm gonna turn this car around...

165
00:10:56,257 --> 00:10:58,725
...and there'll be no Cape Canaveral
for anybody!

166
00:10:59,897 --> 00:11:02,855
That's it! Back to Winnipeg!

167
00:11:04,657 --> 00:11:08,570
- Bart, can we stop for ice cream?
- Yes.

168
00:11:08,737 --> 00:11:11,695
Bart, can we weigh the car
at that weigh station?

169
00:11:11,857 --> 00:11:13,415
Yeah.

170
00:11:13,697 --> 00:11:18,054
- Bart, can we pick up that hitchhiker?
- I don't see why not.

171
00:11:18,257 --> 00:11:21,454
- Bart, can we stop for ice cream?
- Yes.

172
00:11:21,777 --> 00:11:26,214
Well, I didn't think I was rehabilitated,
but I guess they needed the extra bed.

173
00:11:29,337 --> 00:11:32,773
With Bart gone, and now you and your
father, I'm not gonna have anyone...

174
00:11:32,937 --> 00:11:34,655
Thanks, Mom. Bye.

175
00:11:34,817 --> 00:11:36,136
- To talk to.

176
00:11:40,737 --> 00:11:42,693
What is this place?

177
00:11:42,857 --> 00:11:45,132
Branson, Missouri.
My dad says it's like Vegas...

178
00:11:45,297 --> 00:11:46,889
...if it were run by Ned Flanders.

179
00:11:49,017 --> 00:11:50,928
Andy Williams?

180
00:11:51,097 --> 00:11:54,373
- Oh, we don't need to stop here.
- Yes, we do.

181
00:12:13,697 --> 00:12:15,927
I didn't think he was
gonna do "Moon River."

182
00:12:16,097 --> 00:12:18,657
But then, bam, second encore!

183
00:12:18,857 --> 00:12:21,610
Okay. Time for Truth or Dare.
You go first.

184
00:12:21,777 --> 00:12:23,768
Truth. Ask me anything.

185
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:28,050
Who do you love most,
me, Bart or Maggie?

186
00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:33,048
- All right, dare.
- Okay. Why don't you...?

187
00:12:33,257 --> 00:12:38,126
Hello. I'd like to speak with
a Mr. Snotball. First name, Youra.

188
00:12:38,337 --> 00:12:40,612
- Youra Snotball?
- What? How dare you?

189
00:12:40,777 --> 00:12:43,814
If I find out who this is,
I'll staple a flag to your butt...

190
00:12:43,977 --> 00:12:46,172
...and mail you to Iran!

191
00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:48,251
Okay, your turn.

192
00:12:48,937 --> 00:12:50,416
Truth.

193
00:12:50,577 --> 00:12:52,886
Do you have a crush on anyone?

194
00:12:53,097 --> 00:12:56,134
- Dad.
- I won't tell anybody.

195
00:12:56,337 --> 00:12:57,929
Dad, you tell everybody everything.

196
00:12:58,097 --> 00:13:00,213
Even Moe knew when I threw up
on the dentist.

197
00:13:00,417 --> 00:13:03,409
Moe thinks he knows a lot more
than Moe knows.

198
00:13:03,577 --> 00:13:06,887
Well, just give me another chance
and I'll prove I can keep your secret.

199
00:13:07,097 --> 00:13:10,248
Okay. I like...

200
00:13:10,417 --> 00:13:12,692
...Langdon Alger.

201
00:13:12,857 --> 00:13:15,007
I have no idea who that is.

202
00:13:15,217 --> 00:13:16,935
Nobody does.

203
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:18,928
He's very quiet and enjoys puzzles.

204
00:13:19,097 --> 00:13:21,167
That still doesn't mean
you can tell anyone.

205
00:13:21,377 --> 00:13:24,096
I've already forgotten his name.

206
00:13:24,457 --> 00:13:26,607
It was Larson something, right?

207
00:13:27,577 --> 00:13:31,809
Thanks, Dad. Oh, this has been
the best spring break ever.

208
00:13:32,017 --> 00:13:35,692
With my patented seminar, you will learn
how to corner the real-estate market...

209
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:38,132
...through hypnosis.
Why waste hypnotic powers...

210
00:13:38,297 --> 00:13:42,575
...on neighbors and coworkers...
- I can't take this anymore.

211
00:14:00,497 --> 00:14:03,489
There, there. Oh, Maggie. There...

212
00:14:09,697 --> 00:14:11,016
We're on the home stretch.

213
00:14:11,177 --> 00:14:16,012
Next stop, the Knoxville World's
Fair and its fabulous sun sphere!

214
00:14:21,617 --> 00:14:24,848
Hurry up! We've only got four days
to spend at the...

215
00:14:25,057 --> 00:14:27,366
..."Wod Fir"?

216
00:14:32,417 --> 00:14:35,534
Excuse me, is this
the World's Fair Visitor's Center?

217
00:14:35,697 --> 00:14:39,292
Used to be, back in 1982.

218
00:14:39,457 --> 00:14:41,687
You're 14 years too late.

219
00:14:41,897 --> 00:14:44,809
But there's another World's Fair
coming soon...

220
00:14:44,977 --> 00:14:46,615
...right?

221
00:14:46,777 --> 00:14:49,735
- Before Friday?
- What about the sun sphere?

222
00:14:49,937 --> 00:14:51,370
You mean the wig sphere.

223
00:14:51,537 --> 00:14:57,134
You're welcome to go up there if you
wanna see 16,000 boxes of unsold wigs.

224
00:14:57,297 --> 00:15:00,528
Now, you gentlemen gonna
buy some wigs, or ain't you?

225
00:15:00,737 --> 00:15:03,205
I guess fate was against us.

226
00:15:03,377 --> 00:15:06,813
It's really nobody's fault, right?

227
00:15:07,497 --> 00:15:09,408
- Right?
- Well, we've still got a car...

228
00:15:09,577 --> 00:15:11,169
...and a wad of cash.

229
00:15:12,057 --> 00:15:17,006
No, we don't. I must've spent
our last $ 10 on this Al Gore doll.

230
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:19,685
You are hearing me talk.

231
00:15:19,897 --> 00:15:22,092
I hate this place.

232
00:15:26,497 --> 00:15:28,886
- We've got no car.
- We've got no money.

233
00:15:29,057 --> 00:15:30,854
And no one knows we're here!

234
00:15:31,057 --> 00:15:33,173
We're stranded!

235
00:15:33,897 --> 00:15:37,094
But on the plus side,
I knocked over the sun sphere.

236
00:15:45,217 --> 00:15:49,005
This never would've happened
if we'd gone to Macon, Georgia.

237
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:51,496
I'm just saying, is all.

238
00:15:51,697 --> 00:15:55,246
Fellows, I think perhaps the time
has come to call our parents.

239
00:15:55,417 --> 00:15:57,806
No. They'd kill us.
Look, we got here on our own...

240
00:15:57,977 --> 00:15:59,535
...so we can survive on our own.

241
00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:02,734
All we need is money, food
and a way to get home. Follow me.

242
00:16:02,937 --> 00:16:05,929
Everybody remember, we're parked
under the sun sphere.

243
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:12,776
Hey, I need those to see.

244
00:16:12,977 --> 00:16:17,289
These lenses are perfect. Now I can
rebottom those antique Coke bottles.

245
00:16:17,457 --> 00:16:20,051
- Three hundred, 400...
- Hey, come back.

246
00:16:20,217 --> 00:16:23,892
...five hundred, 600...

247
00:16:24,737 --> 00:16:27,376
Five hundred, 400, 300,
200, 100, zero.

248
00:16:29,537 --> 00:16:33,325
Come on. This train goes
right through Springfield!

249
00:16:45,417 --> 00:16:47,533
Well, of course I'll accept.

250
00:16:47,697 --> 00:16:50,575
Bart, I've missed you so mu...

251
00:16:50,737 --> 00:16:52,648
You wanna speak to Lisa.

252
00:16:52,817 --> 00:16:55,172
So how's the National
Grammar Rodeo, Bart?

253
00:16:55,377 --> 00:16:57,971
Lisa, I need your help.
I'm gonna let you in on a secret.

254
00:16:58,137 --> 00:16:59,809
- There's no such thing.
- I knew it.

255
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:03,367
I knew it. Why would they have
our National Rodeo in another nation?

256
00:17:03,537 --> 00:17:05,129
You're gonna be in trouble when...

257
00:17:05,337 --> 00:17:08,170
I'm in trouble already.
Here's what happened.

258
00:17:12,897 --> 00:17:15,730
So you've got to think of a way
I can come home for free.

259
00:17:15,897 --> 00:17:18,775
You could travel for free
if you were a stewardess.

260
00:17:19,177 --> 00:17:21,486
Well, how badly
do you wanna get home?

261
00:17:21,657 --> 00:17:25,127
All right. All right, how about
a courier? They travel for free too.

262
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:27,686
No, that's a terrier. They're dogs.

263
00:17:30,537 --> 00:17:32,209
Well, you sure don't look 25...

264
00:17:32,377 --> 00:17:35,653
...but your unlaminated, out-of-state
driver's license is proof enough.

265
00:17:36,217 --> 00:17:38,048
Here's your first assignment.

266
00:17:49,337 --> 00:17:50,372
What the...?

267
00:17:54,177 --> 00:17:56,771
Can we call our parents yet, Bart?

268
00:17:58,257 --> 00:18:01,647
Lisa, this isn't working. I've gotta
courier something to Springfield.

269
00:18:01,817 --> 00:18:04,809
And it's gotta be big enough
to fit Milhouse, Martin and Nelson.

270
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:07,133
But, Bart, that'll cost a fortune.

271
00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:11,615
Simpson, how'd you like to escort
500 Big Macs to Marlon Brando's island?

272
00:18:11,977 --> 00:18:14,935
I can't take much more of this.
I'm counting on you, Lis.

273
00:18:22,537 --> 00:18:25,290
- What's wrong, honey?
- There's something troubling me, Dad.

274
00:18:25,497 --> 00:18:27,408
But I can't tell you.
It's a secret.

275
00:18:27,617 --> 00:18:31,530
You don't have to tell me. But I thought
we trusted each other with secrets.

276
00:18:31,737 --> 00:18:34,490
I mean, I haven't told a soul
about your new boyfriend.

277
00:18:34,657 --> 00:18:37,535
Langdon Alger?
Oh, I don't like him anymore.

278
00:18:37,737 --> 00:18:41,366
Okay, but you gotta promise you won't
get mad or tell anyone, especially Bart.

279
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:42,765
I promise.

280
00:18:42,937 --> 00:18:46,532
Bart rented a car with a phony license
and drove to a wig outlet in Knoxville.

281
00:18:46,697 --> 00:18:48,415
Car got crushed, they can't get home.

282
00:18:48,577 --> 00:18:51,489
Bart's working as a courier
and just came back from Hong Kong.

283
00:18:51,897 --> 00:18:53,171
Yes.

284
00:18:53,337 --> 00:18:55,089
That's a real pickle.

285
00:18:55,457 --> 00:18:58,051
Would you excuse me for a moment?

286
00:19:08,137 --> 00:19:10,367
All right. I have thought this through.

287
00:19:10,537 --> 00:19:13,176
I will send Bart the money
to fly home...

288
00:19:13,337 --> 00:19:14,929
...then I will murder him.

289
00:19:15,137 --> 00:19:19,767
No. No! Then he'll know I told.
Dad, you said I could trust you.

290
00:19:21,417 --> 00:19:23,806
Okay. We'll work this out together.

291
00:19:23,977 --> 00:19:26,127
First things first. Where is Knoxville?

292
00:19:26,337 --> 00:19:29,534
It's in Tennessee, right next
to the Oak Ridge nuclear facility...

293
00:19:29,737 --> 00:19:31,568
...birthplace of the atomic bomb.

294
00:19:31,777 --> 00:19:34,337
Well, maybe we could order
something from Oak Ridge.

295
00:19:34,497 --> 00:19:36,249
And Bart could be the courier.

296
00:19:38,217 --> 00:19:39,491
Hello, Oak Ridge?

297
00:19:39,657 --> 00:19:43,855
This is Springfield Nuclear.
We need to order...

298
00:19:45,777 --> 00:19:48,849
...a T-437 Safety Command Console.

299
00:19:49,337 --> 00:19:53,046
Springfield, my computer shows
your T-437 is fully operational.

300
00:19:54,377 --> 00:19:57,369
I suggest you...
Oh, my God. Oh, God, no!

301
00:19:57,537 --> 00:20:02,167
Oh, this can 't be happening! You're
operating without a T-437, Springfield!

302
00:20:02,337 --> 00:20:05,693
Sweet mother of mercy!
I mean... I mean, my God!

303
00:20:05,897 --> 00:20:10,095
And have it sent to the Springfield
Nuclear Power Plant, care of Homer J...

304
00:20:10,257 --> 00:20:12,771
No! Don't use your real name
or Bart will know.

305
00:20:12,977 --> 00:20:18,335
Forget the name Homer Simpson.
Have it sent care of Langdon Alger.

306
00:20:20,337 --> 00:20:22,373
Bart? Bart?

307
00:20:22,577 --> 00:20:26,365
Hey. We really could use
another air hole.

308
00:20:26,537 --> 00:20:28,448
They'll know you're in there.

309
00:20:31,537 --> 00:20:35,132
But I don't think I'd go back again
next year. It's getting too commercial.

310
00:20:35,297 --> 00:20:38,414
They've forgotten it's supposed
to be about the grammar.

311
00:20:46,097 --> 00:20:49,726
Hello? Oh, hello, Principal Skinner.

312
00:20:49,897 --> 00:20:53,731
No, Bart has never been to Hong Kong.
Good night.

313
00:20:56,177 --> 00:20:59,726
Hello? Tennessee State Police?

314
00:21:00,177 --> 00:21:02,691
No, my son's car
was not crushed in Knoxville.

315
00:21:02,857 --> 00:21:06,213
I don't know where to begin telling you
what's wrong with that.

316
00:21:07,417 --> 00:21:08,850
Hello?

317
00:21:09,017 --> 00:21:14,489
No, Bart is not available tomorrow to
deliver a human kidney to Amsterdam.

318
00:21:15,857 --> 00:21:19,133
Homer, are you laughing at me?

319
00:21:47,817 --> 00:21:49,808
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group

320
00:21:49,977 --> 00:21:51,968
[ENGLISH]