1
00:00:06,827 --> 00:00:08,738
Bart the Fink

2
00:00:27,987 --> 00:00:31,536
My condolences on the untimely passing
of your Great-aunt Hortense.

3
00:00:31,787 --> 00:00:36,178
As her only living heirs,
you stand to inherit her entire estate.

4
00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:40,057
Poor Aunt Hortense.

5
00:00:43,867 --> 00:00:48,861
The only stipulation is that you spend
one night in a haunted house.

6
00:00:49,027 --> 00:00:53,066
- Oh, isn't that somewhat unusual?
- No. It's a standard clause.

7
00:00:53,227 --> 00:00:56,822
Well, luckily there's no such thing
as ghosts.

8
00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:04,538
Yes, there's no such thing as ghosts.

9
00:01:13,667 --> 00:01:17,296
- Best night's sleep I ever had.
- Their tap water tasted better than ours.

10
00:01:17,467 --> 00:01:20,937
Here you go.
One hundred dollars each.

11
00:01:21,107 --> 00:01:25,498
The rest goes to Ann Landers,
as was stipulated in your aunt's will.

12
00:01:26,227 --> 00:01:27,421
Oh, I'm sorry.

13
00:01:27,787 --> 00:01:31,018
I must have continued talking
after you left the office.

14
00:01:31,187 --> 00:01:33,826
I do that sometimes.

15
00:01:38,107 --> 00:01:39,904
Oh, my!

16
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,978
What are you gonna spend
your money on, kids?

17
00:01:42,147 --> 00:01:44,103
There's a special on tacos
at the Taco Mat:

18
00:01:44,267 --> 00:01:46,337
100 tacos for $ 100.
I'm gonna get that.

19
00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:49,943
I'm gonna contribute my money to
the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

20
00:01:50,107 --> 00:01:52,621
Tacos? Public broadcasting?

21
00:01:52,787 --> 00:01:55,176
I won't have you throwing your money
away like that.

22
00:01:55,347 --> 00:01:58,783
You're coming downtown with me and
you're gonna put that money in the bank.

23
00:02:03,507 --> 00:02:06,624
Boy, I sure could go for 100 tacos
right about now.

24
00:02:06,787 --> 00:02:08,140
No!

25
00:02:08,307 --> 00:02:11,982
Yes. This should provide adequate
sustenance for the Doctor Who marathon.

26
00:02:15,587 --> 00:02:18,943
You'll feel better knowing your money
is in the hands of professionals.

27
00:02:19,387 --> 00:02:22,060
- Are you folks ready to go ape?
- Mom?

28
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:25,464
A professional in an ape mask
is still a professional.

29
00:02:25,627 --> 00:02:27,936
And you'll find that
saving for your future...

30
00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:30,826
...is far more thrilling
than any roller coaster.

31
00:02:30,987 --> 00:02:33,865
Really? Wow, I should've started
a long time ago.

32
00:02:34,867 --> 00:02:38,382
Now, fill out these forms. I'm sure
you'll find them more exciting than...

33
00:02:38,547 --> 00:02:40,060
...a weekend with Batman.

34
00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:42,695
I got their new Thrifty Saver
Savings Account.

35
00:02:42,867 --> 00:02:45,904
"2.3 percent annual interest
instead of the normal 2.25."

36
00:02:46,067 --> 00:02:48,183
So a year from now,
I'll have an extra nickel.

37
00:02:48,347 --> 00:02:50,781
I got the one where you get
free customized checks.

38
00:02:50,947 --> 00:02:52,938
I chose the Hindenburg flipbook series.

39
00:02:53,107 --> 00:02:54,620
Cool!

40
00:02:54,787 --> 00:02:57,506
Checking accounts aren't really
for children, Bart.

41
00:02:57,667 --> 00:02:59,976
No, Mom. I can handle it.
Let's see.

42
00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,866
Pay to the order of Lisa...

43
00:03:03,027 --> 00:03:05,257
...1 cent. And no cents.

44
00:03:05,427 --> 00:03:08,624
And now the old John Hancock.
There you go.

45
00:03:09,307 --> 00:03:10,296
Thank you.

46
00:03:11,027 --> 00:03:14,144
A million dollars!
Thanks, Bart! I owe you one.

47
00:03:14,307 --> 00:03:17,265
That's a postdated check, remember.
Don't cash it until year 10,000.

48
00:03:17,427 --> 00:03:18,655
Okay.

49
00:03:25,827 --> 00:03:30,343
Excellent! As soon as the check clears,
I'll let you go.

50
00:03:35,427 --> 00:03:37,736
That's it. No more autographs.
I gotta go.

51
00:03:37,907 --> 00:03:40,546
They're naming a new sandwich
after me at my restaurant.

52
00:03:41,547 --> 00:03:43,617
That's okay, Bart. You can share mine.

53
00:03:44,947 --> 00:03:46,699
Press against me
while the ink's still wet.

54
00:03:46,867 --> 00:03:50,018
No need. I'm going to get Krusty's
autograph the easy way.

55
00:03:50,187 --> 00:03:54,021
If he wants these 25 cents, he'll have to
endorse the check by signing on the back.

56
00:03:54,187 --> 00:03:57,099
When my monthly bank statement
comes, I'll get the check back...

57
00:03:57,267 --> 00:04:00,259
...complete with autograph.
No fuss, no muss.

58
00:04:03,507 --> 00:04:07,341
That's a good plan.
But it won't impress girls like this!

59
00:04:13,227 --> 00:04:16,139
Lisa's autograph, Apu's autograph.

60
00:04:16,427 --> 00:04:19,180
Oh, what do you know.
Jimbo's real name is Corky.

61
00:04:19,507 --> 00:04:21,657
And Krusty!

62
00:04:21,827 --> 00:04:24,785
Hey! "Cayman Islands
Offshore Holding Corporation"?

63
00:04:28,147 --> 00:04:31,184
Krusty was supposed to sign this.
Take it back. Make him sign.

64
00:04:31,347 --> 00:04:34,817
No, no. Stamping the back of a check
is perfectly legal, little boy.

65
00:04:34,987 --> 00:04:37,547
Many people do it to save time.
You see, in this case...

66
00:04:37,707 --> 00:04:40,619
...instead of writing out his name,
Krusty stamped the name...

67
00:04:40,787 --> 00:04:43,301
...of his Cayman Islands Holding
Corporation on the...

68
00:04:44,987 --> 00:04:46,784
Excuse me a minute.

69
00:04:56,147 --> 00:04:57,341
I'm sorry.

70
00:04:57,507 --> 00:05:01,785
I can't divulge information about
that customer's secret, illegal account.

71
00:05:03,027 --> 00:05:05,780
Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said
he was a customer.

72
00:05:05,947 --> 00:05:08,541
Oh, crap! I shouldn't have said
it was a secret.

73
00:05:08,707 --> 00:05:12,302
Oh, crap! I certainly shouldn't have said
it was illegal!

74
00:05:14,227 --> 00:05:15,421
It's too hot today.

75
00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:27,024
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
I bought this popcorn fair and square.

76
00:05:29,227 --> 00:05:32,378
Sorry, the bank is...
Oh, kid. Gosh, I meant to tell you...

77
00:05:32,547 --> 00:05:35,937
...it turns out that Krusty is one
of the biggest tax cheats in history...

78
00:05:36,107 --> 00:05:38,018
...and they nailed him,
all thanks to you.

79
00:05:39,067 --> 00:05:41,456
Some might say you're a hero, kid.

80
00:05:42,227 --> 00:05:44,138
Not me, however. I love Krusty.

81
00:05:50,547 --> 00:05:56,179
Ladies and gentlemen, Krusty the Clown
was arrested today for massive tax fraud.

82
00:05:56,347 --> 00:05:58,702
Krusty's years of tax "avoision"
would never have...

83
00:05:58,867 --> 00:06:01,335
- What is "avoision"?
- Avoision is a crime. Look it up.

84
00:06:01,507 --> 00:06:03,543
- Would never have...
- Use "evasion." Evasion.

85
00:06:03,707 --> 00:06:07,256
I don 't say "evasion," I say "avoision."

86
00:06:07,707 --> 00:06:11,416
Would never have come to light if not for
a crafty little boy named Bart Simpson.

87
00:06:11,587 --> 00:06:14,385
Krusty's my hero.
How could I do this to him?

88
00:06:14,547 --> 00:06:18,017
It is a tragedy for all us kids.
But, Bart, you can't beat yourself up.

89
00:06:18,187 --> 00:06:21,941
Yeah. There'll be enough people to do
that for me at recess tomorrow.

90
00:06:26,507 --> 00:06:30,739
Oh, I can't go to jail.
I got a swanky lifestyle.

91
00:06:30,907 --> 00:06:33,341
- I'm used to the best.
- Krusty, this is America.

92
00:06:33,507 --> 00:06:37,182
We don't send our celebrities to jail.
We're just going to garnish your salary.

93
00:06:37,347 --> 00:06:40,703
- Garnish my celery?
- Please, Krusty, no jokes.

94
00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:42,585
Who's joking?!

95
00:06:42,747 --> 00:06:46,865
Oh, I don't know what you're saying.
It all sounds so crazy to me!

96
00:06:47,027 --> 00:06:50,622
It simply means we'll be taking part
of your salary until your debt is repaid.

97
00:06:50,787 --> 00:06:54,302
- Say, 75 percent for 40 years.
- But I don't plan to live that long!

98
00:06:54,467 --> 00:06:58,142
- Well, better make it 95 percent.
- Oh, boy!

99
00:06:58,307 --> 00:07:02,141
The Internal Revenue Service presents
Herschel Krustofsky's Clown-Related...

100
00:07:02,307 --> 00:07:04,662
...Entertainment Show.

101
00:07:05,627 --> 00:07:08,699
Hey, hey, kids! Now that the feds
are calling the shots...

102
00:07:08,867 --> 00:07:11,427
...this show's gotta be a lot more
cost-effective.

103
00:07:11,587 --> 00:07:16,138
So we had to cut down on the frills like
sets, props, costumes and Sideshow Mel.

104
00:07:16,307 --> 00:07:19,379
But that doesn't mean
we can 't have fun! For example...

105
00:07:19,547 --> 00:07:22,619
...I sure wish somebody would give me
a banana cream pie.

106
00:07:22,907 --> 00:07:24,306
Yeah.

107
00:07:26,787 --> 00:07:30,177
I guess we can't afford pies right now.
Well, throw something!

108
00:07:32,187 --> 00:07:34,178
The corner...!

109
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:48,059
I'll have four Tax Burgers,
one "IRSwich," withhold the lettuce...

110
00:07:48,507 --> 00:07:51,499
...three dependent-size sodas
and a "FICAccino."

111
00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:56,138
Fill out Schedule B. You should receive
your burgers in six to eight weeks.

112
00:07:56,867 --> 00:08:01,657
All right, let's see here,
add Schedule B to line 53, take away...

113
00:08:02,627 --> 00:08:05,824
Hey, Marge! What were your
gambling losses last year?

114
00:08:05,987 --> 00:08:07,898
Seven hundred dollars!

115
00:08:11,187 --> 00:08:13,417
They took my money,
they wrecked my show...

116
00:08:13,587 --> 00:08:16,545
...they buried a bunch
of stinking veterans in my family plot.

117
00:08:16,867 --> 00:08:19,427
But at least I still got my memories.

118
00:08:19,747 --> 00:08:22,784
Those are locked up safe
in my fabulous mansion.

119
00:08:23,907 --> 00:08:27,024
And now, lot number 66:
A handmade leather suitcase...

120
00:08:27,187 --> 00:08:31,226
...carried by the Krustofsky family upon
their arrival at Ellis Island in 1902.

121
00:08:31,387 --> 00:08:34,902
A priceless heirloom and historic piece
of "Krustyana." What am I bid?

122
00:08:35,067 --> 00:08:37,501
- Forty cents.
- I got 40 cents, 40 over there.

123
00:08:37,667 --> 00:08:40,739
Forty cents over here, 40 cents,
do I hear 50?

124
00:08:40,907 --> 00:08:44,536
Fifty over here, sold for 40 cents!

125
00:08:44,707 --> 00:08:46,220
Forty cents?

126
00:08:46,987 --> 00:08:50,616
My Grandpa Zev would turn over in his
grave if it wasn't filled with a veteran.

127
00:08:50,787 --> 00:08:54,143
Lot 67: 32 cartons of pornography.

128
00:08:54,307 --> 00:08:55,626
- Ten cents.
- Twelve.

129
00:08:55,787 --> 00:08:58,301
Twelve cents to our phone bidder
in Japan. Any advance?

130
00:08:59,107 --> 00:09:02,417
All I brought is a dime.
I didn't know there'd be pornography.

131
00:09:02,587 --> 00:09:04,100
Sold for 12 cents.

132
00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:09,421
Oh, my beloved pornography! I can't
watch this anymore. I'm going to bed.

133
00:09:09,587 --> 00:09:11,703
- How much for Krusty's bed?
- Half a buck.

134
00:09:11,867 --> 00:09:13,346
- Sold!
- Goodnight, everybody.

135
00:09:13,507 --> 00:09:15,702
Goodnight, Moe.

136
00:09:16,547 --> 00:09:18,777
And now, lot number 2380:

137
00:09:18,947 --> 00:09:21,507
Krusty's private plane,
the "I'm-on-a-Rolla Gay."

138
00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:25,262
But I love that plane! I used to fly
to Vegas in it with Dean Martin.

139
00:09:25,427 --> 00:09:29,818
One night he looked out the window and
the moon hit his eye like a big pizza pie.

140
00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:31,466
We wrote a song about it...

141
00:09:31,627 --> 00:09:34,505
...but it ended up infringing on one
he recorded years before.

142
00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:37,625
Hey, Selma. That plane would go great
with your new suitcase.

143
00:09:37,787 --> 00:09:40,221
I just bought it to soak my feet in.

144
00:09:49,267 --> 00:09:52,942
Krusty. Hi. Is it okay
if I sit down here?

145
00:09:53,107 --> 00:09:54,779
Go ahead, kid. Knock yourself out.

146
00:09:54,947 --> 00:09:57,666
I'm sorry for all the trouble
I've caused you, Krusty.

147
00:09:57,867 --> 00:10:00,381
But, you know, my mom says,
"God never closes a door...

148
00:10:00,547 --> 00:10:01,900
...without opening a window."

149
00:10:02,067 --> 00:10:04,581
No offense, kid,
but your mom's a dingbat.

150
00:10:04,747 --> 00:10:06,578
There's no silver lining here.

151
00:10:06,747 --> 00:10:11,457
I was a big cheese, a huge cheese!
But now look at me.

152
00:10:11,747 --> 00:10:14,181
I gotta ride the bus like a schnook.

153
00:10:14,467 --> 00:10:16,537
I gotta live in an apartment
like an idiot.

154
00:10:16,707 --> 00:10:21,827
I gotta wait in line with nobodies
to buy groceries from a failure!

155
00:10:21,987 --> 00:10:24,706
Well, it doesn't matter how you live
or what you did wrong.

156
00:10:24,867 --> 00:10:27,142
As long you're on TV,
people will respect you.

157
00:10:27,307 --> 00:10:28,945
Respect?

158
00:10:29,107 --> 00:10:32,065
What good is respect without
the moola to back it up?

159
00:10:32,587 --> 00:10:35,499
Everywhere I go,
I see teachers in Ferraris...

160
00:10:35,667 --> 00:10:38,306
...research scientists
drinking champagne.

161
00:10:38,467 --> 00:10:42,460
I tried to drink a Coke on the bus
and they took away my pass!

162
00:10:42,627 --> 00:10:44,697
That's no life for a famous clown.

163
00:10:44,867 --> 00:10:48,860
Well, if it'll make you feel any better,
Krusty, you can punch me in the face.

164
00:10:50,307 --> 00:10:52,696
No, forget it. Go home, kid.

165
00:10:59,467 --> 00:11:02,823
Shiva H. Vishnu!
Where is that noise coming from?

166
00:11:07,427 --> 00:11:09,941
Well, I must say,
I've had a lovely evening, Agnes.

167
00:11:10,107 --> 00:11:12,416
I don't suppose I could come in
for a cup of...

168
00:11:12,747 --> 00:11:14,499
- Seymour!
- Mother?

169
00:11:14,707 --> 00:11:16,663
- Superintendent Chalmers.
- Skinner!

170
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:20,737
What I wouldn't give for something
to interrupt this awkward moment.

171
00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:24,695
That'll do nicely.

172
00:11:29,827 --> 00:11:31,977
- You gotta hand it to Krusty.
- Yeah.

173
00:11:32,147 --> 00:11:33,660
Even with all his problems...

174
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:36,705
...he's still willing to do something
unbelievably dangerous...

175
00:11:36,867 --> 00:11:38,346
...just to entertain his fans.

176
00:11:40,427 --> 00:11:46,059
Oh, that's my Krusty.
I got a feeling he'll be all right.

177
00:11:54,467 --> 00:11:56,697
Oh, my God! Krusty's shoes!

178
00:11:56,867 --> 00:12:00,018
Okay, folks. Show's over.
Nothing to see here. Show's...

179
00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:03,497
Oh, my God! A horrible plane crash!
Hey, everybody!

180
00:12:03,667 --> 00:12:05,385
Get a load of this flaming wreckage!

181
00:12:05,547 --> 00:12:07,981
Crowd around. Crowd around.
Don't be shy.

182
00:12:11,747 --> 00:12:15,899
Ladies and gentlemen,
Krusty the Clown is dead.

183
00:12:23,947 --> 00:12:27,144
- I can't believe Krusty is really gone.
- Don't worry, son.

184
00:12:27,307 --> 00:12:29,218
I'm sure he's up in heaven right now...

185
00:12:29,387 --> 00:12:31,981
...laughing it up
with all the other celebrities.

186
00:12:32,147 --> 00:12:36,106
John Dillinger, Ty Cobb, Joseph Stalin.

187
00:12:37,267 --> 00:12:38,746
I wish I were dead.

188
00:12:40,507 --> 00:12:44,216
We are gathered to mourn the passing
of Herschel Shmoikel Krustofsky...

189
00:12:44,387 --> 00:12:48,221
...beloved entertainer and dear friend.
Hello, I'm Troy McClure.

190
00:12:48,387 --> 00:12:50,378
You might remember me
from such funerals as:

191
00:12:50,547 --> 00:12:53,015
"Andre the Giant,
We Hardly Knew Ye."

192
00:12:53,187 --> 00:12:56,179
And "Shemp Howard:
Today We Mourn a Stooge."

193
00:12:56,347 --> 00:13:00,545
Now, Krusty's closest friend
and sidekick, Sideshow Mel.

194
00:13:02,147 --> 00:13:03,865
I'll miss you, Krusty.

195
00:13:04,347 --> 00:13:08,306
I and all the other sideshows,
except Sideshow Bob.

196
00:13:08,507 --> 00:13:10,657
But in the midst of our sorrow...

197
00:13:10,827 --> 00:13:13,387
...we can take comfort in the fact
that your elevated...

198
00:13:13,547 --> 00:13:16,345
...blood alcohol level probably helped
you burn up quicker.

199
00:13:16,507 --> 00:13:19,021
Since you left us no earthly remains...

200
00:13:19,187 --> 00:13:22,577
...it is my sad duty
to unveil this simple memorial.

201
00:13:25,947 --> 00:13:29,622
Next in our cavalcade
of celebrity mourners, Bob Newhart!

202
00:13:33,747 --> 00:13:36,978
See, to tell you the truth, I'm...

203
00:13:37,147 --> 00:13:40,935
I'm just killing time here.
I was waiting for a...

204
00:13:41,107 --> 00:13:43,257
Well, a different...
Different funeral to start.

205
00:13:43,427 --> 00:13:44,780
I'll handle it.

206
00:13:44,947 --> 00:13:47,381
Bob Newhart, everybody!

207
00:13:52,467 --> 00:13:55,106
Although, you know,
though I started my career...

208
00:13:55,307 --> 00:13:59,983
...several years before Krusty,
so I could never really have...

209
00:14:00,147 --> 00:14:03,503
...learned anything directly
from him, still...

210
00:14:04,027 --> 00:14:08,339
...I think, in a way,
in a very meaningful way, that I...

211
00:14:09,027 --> 00:14:13,543
...all of us, have...
Have learned from him.

212
00:14:13,707 --> 00:14:17,746
And that is by being a clown
on television for...

213
00:14:17,907 --> 00:14:20,182
For... For so many years.

214
00:14:20,347 --> 00:14:25,944
Even though many of us,
we didn't watch his show.

215
00:14:29,107 --> 00:14:30,745
Thank you.

216
00:14:32,467 --> 00:14:36,460
Well, that's the funeral, folks. We'll be
sitting shiva at the Friars Club at 7 p. M...

217
00:14:36,627 --> 00:14:39,824
...and again at 10.
You must be over 18 for the 10:00.

218
00:14:39,987 --> 00:14:41,340
It gets a little blue.

219
00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:52,741
And so Herschel Krustofsky is gone.
But not forgotten.

220
00:14:52,907 --> 00:14:55,102
Today was the unveiling
of the new Krusty stamp.

221
00:14:55,267 --> 00:14:57,827
Patrons were asked to choose between
two competing designs:

222
00:14:57,987 --> 00:15:02,424
One of Krusty's heartwarming smile
and one of his fiery death.

223
00:15:03,147 --> 00:15:06,139
By a nearly 2-to- 1 vote,
the smiling Krusty was chosen.

224
00:15:14,307 --> 00:15:17,026
Don't let Krusty's death
get you down, boy.

225
00:15:17,187 --> 00:15:20,577
People die all the time just like that:

226
00:15:20,747 --> 00:15:24,023
Why, you could
wake up dead tomorrow.

227
00:15:25,787 --> 00:15:27,698
Well, good night.

228
00:15:34,827 --> 00:15:36,101
Krusty!

229
00:15:37,787 --> 00:15:40,984
- Mom, I just saw Krusty!
- Yes, dear. In your mind.

230
00:15:41,147 --> 00:15:43,615
- No, on the street.
- On the street in your mind.

231
00:15:43,787 --> 00:15:46,096
- Why won't you believe me?
- Sweetheart, you want...

232
00:15:46,267 --> 00:15:49,100
...Krusty to be alive so badly,
you think you see him everywhere.

233
00:15:49,267 --> 00:15:51,701
I went through the same thing
when Lyndon Johnson died.

234
00:15:54,907 --> 00:15:56,977
And these pills will help
with the queasiness.

235
00:16:00,307 --> 00:16:02,582
Krusty?
Dr. Hibbert, who was that man?

236
00:16:02,747 --> 00:16:06,660
Now, Bart, telling you would violate
the patient-doctor privilege...

237
00:16:07,027 --> 00:16:11,464
...just as if I were to tell you that
Jasper here has five seconds to live.

238
00:16:11,787 --> 00:16:13,982
- What did he say?
- He said I'm next!

239
00:16:15,867 --> 00:16:20,224
Am I going crazy?
I'm seeing Krusty everywhere.

240
00:16:28,747 --> 00:16:31,261
You see Krusty everywhere because
you wanna tell him...

241
00:16:31,427 --> 00:16:33,179
...you're sorry for causing his death.

242
00:16:33,347 --> 00:16:36,145
Would it help if I said you're not
responsible for his death?

243
00:16:36,307 --> 00:16:37,979
- Yes! Yes, it would.
- Well, I can't.

244
00:16:38,147 --> 00:16:40,342
You have to learn to live
with your mental problem.

245
00:16:40,507 --> 00:16:43,499
Wait a minute! All those things I saw,
there's a connection.

246
00:16:43,667 --> 00:16:47,376
The truck full of nets and buckets,
the queasy guy, the lobsters...

247
00:16:47,547 --> 00:16:49,981
...they all point to one thing.
Follow me.

248
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:59,579
I've got some customers.
Call me back, Ishmael.

249
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:01,660
Ahoy there, minnows.

250
00:17:03,307 --> 00:17:06,856
- Ahoy! Have you seen this man?
- That's Handsome Pete.

251
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,143
He dances for nickels.

252
00:17:09,307 --> 00:17:12,344
Pete, you got customers.

253
00:17:18,067 --> 00:17:21,264
No. We're looking for this man,
Krusty the Clown.

254
00:17:23,947 --> 00:17:27,462
It's hopeless, Bart. We've searched up
and down these docks, from Pier One...

255
00:17:27,627 --> 00:17:30,095
...to that Pier One by Pier 17.

256
00:17:34,227 --> 00:17:37,299
Lisa, look! A signature with stars
around it, just like Krusty's!

257
00:17:37,467 --> 00:17:40,425
"Rory B. Bellows, Slip 8."
Let's go!

258
00:17:43,747 --> 00:17:47,786
Not a quarter!
He'll be dancing for hours.

259
00:17:52,147 --> 00:17:54,615
- Are you Rory B. Bellows?
- Yes.

260
00:17:54,787 --> 00:17:59,019
- How about Krusty the Clown?
- Sorry, I don't do impressions.

261
00:17:59,187 --> 00:18:02,304
If you're not Krusty, how come you have
the same signature as him?

262
00:18:02,467 --> 00:18:06,506
I'm Rory Bellows, I tell you! And I got
a lot of corroborating evidence...

263
00:18:06,667 --> 00:18:08,498
...over here...

264
00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:11,135
...by the throttle!

265
00:18:16,747 --> 00:18:20,057
You could've said something instead
of letting me make an ass of myself.

266
00:18:20,227 --> 00:18:22,422
Hey, you got a pacemaker scar
just like Krusty!

267
00:18:22,587 --> 00:18:25,181
And Krusty's superfluous third nipple.

268
00:18:27,427 --> 00:18:29,543
Can't you see I don't wanna
be Krusty anymore?

269
00:18:29,827 --> 00:18:33,024
- That's why I faked my death.
- But we saw your plane crash.

270
00:18:33,187 --> 00:18:35,223
Yeah. But I wasn't in it.

271
00:18:35,827 --> 00:18:38,739
Just before I hit the mountain,
I jumped out of the plane...

272
00:18:38,947 --> 00:18:41,825
...into a carefully placed net.

273
00:18:43,347 --> 00:18:46,384
Now that we blew your cover,
you gotta come back and do your show.

274
00:18:46,547 --> 00:18:48,503
Or kill us.

275
00:18:48,667 --> 00:18:51,943
I won't be coming back, kids.
I got a sweet life here.

276
00:18:52,107 --> 00:18:53,699
The sea air is clearing my lungs.

277
00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:56,506
The sun is toasting my pale skin
a healthy brown.

278
00:18:56,667 --> 00:19:00,580
And most important, I learned that
I don't need money to be happy.

279
00:19:00,747 --> 00:19:04,581
All that high living just distracted
me from my true calling in life:

280
00:19:04,947 --> 00:19:09,543
Salvaging sunken barges for scrap iron.
Sorry, kids.

281
00:19:09,707 --> 00:19:11,902
There's nothing left for me
on dry land anymore.

282
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:16,026
Krusty, what about the kids who depend
on you to brighten up their afternoons?

283
00:19:16,187 --> 00:19:19,224
- Are you gonna turn your back on them?
- Yes!

284
00:19:22,867 --> 00:19:25,461
Come on, Lis. Krusty doesn't want
our attention anymore.

285
00:19:25,627 --> 00:19:28,539
Let's go worship somebody
who has the guts to be a celebrity.

286
00:19:28,707 --> 00:19:30,698
Yeah. Krusty doesn't
wanna be a clown.

287
00:19:30,867 --> 00:19:33,665
He's happy just being another
blue-collar bozo.

288
00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:39,264
Krusty's tired of having phonies around,
pretending to be his friends.

289
00:19:39,427 --> 00:19:42,658
I'm sure he'll find plenty of people
who'll like him for who he is.

290
00:19:42,827 --> 00:19:45,102
It could happen.

291
00:19:45,667 --> 00:19:47,100
Who needs friends?

292
00:19:47,267 --> 00:19:49,781
The incessant beep
of the global positioning system...

293
00:19:49,947 --> 00:19:52,142
...is all the companionship I need.

294
00:19:56,587 --> 00:19:58,623
Tell me where you are now,
you bastard!

295
00:19:59,187 --> 00:20:01,018
All right. I admit it.

296
00:20:01,227 --> 00:20:04,185
I miss the phonies. That's all I miss.

297
00:20:04,347 --> 00:20:07,657
That and Shirley Jones and Marty Ingles'
New Year's Eve party.

298
00:20:07,827 --> 00:20:11,422
What about the feeling you get knowing
you're better than regular people?

299
00:20:11,587 --> 00:20:15,705
What about being an illiterate TV clown
who's still more respected...

300
00:20:15,867 --> 00:20:19,621
...than all the scientists, doctors and
educators in the country put together?

301
00:20:22,027 --> 00:20:25,622
Yeah! I'm not gonna let those guys
hog all the respect...

302
00:20:25,787 --> 00:20:28,017
...while I'm out here
in some stinking tub!

303
00:20:29,947 --> 00:20:33,019
That's just what those eggheads want.
Well, forget it, Poindexter...

304
00:20:33,187 --> 00:20:35,257
...because Krusty's back in town.

305
00:20:43,987 --> 00:20:46,581
So, Krusty, what are you gonna
do about your tax problem?

306
00:20:46,747 --> 00:20:48,226
Don't sweat it.

307
00:20:48,387 --> 00:20:54,303
The life of Rory B. Bellows is insured
for a surprisingly large amount.

308
00:21:49,387 --> 00:21:51,378
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group

309
00:21:51,547 --> 00:21:53,538
[ENGLISH]