1 00:00:05,837 --> 00:00:07,111 Radioactive Man 2 00:00:39,077 --> 00:00:41,796 All of these new superheroes suck. 3 00:00:41,957 --> 00:00:44,232 None of them can hold a candle to Radioactive Man. 4 00:00:44,437 --> 00:00:46,632 The only decent new one is Radiation Dude. 5 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:49,106 No, he's just a cheap imitation of Radioactive Man. 6 00:00:49,317 --> 00:00:52,548 - Explain. - The similarities are subtle but many. 7 00:00:52,717 --> 00:00:56,426 For example, Radioactive Man has his famous catch phrase, "Up and atom!"... 8 00:00:56,597 --> 00:00:59,555 ...with atom spelled A-T-O-M in a delicious pun. 9 00:00:59,757 --> 00:01:02,112 - Go on. - While Radiation Dude... 10 00:01:02,277 --> 00:01:06,031 ...has a similar but lamer catch phrase, "Up and let's go." 11 00:01:06,237 --> 00:01:08,228 So you kids fancy yourselves experts, eh? 12 00:01:08,397 --> 00:01:10,115 Well, between us we've read... 13 00:01:10,277 --> 00:01:12,837 ...all 814 issues of Radioactive Man. 14 00:01:13,037 --> 00:01:15,346 We both have the special limited-edition issue... 15 00:01:15,517 --> 00:01:18,111 ...where he and Fallout Boy get killed on every page. 16 00:01:18,317 --> 00:01:20,911 I suppose you know that Hollywood is planning a film... 17 00:01:21,077 --> 00:01:22,192 ...about Radioactive Man? 18 00:01:23,277 --> 00:01:26,110 I have got to do something about that air-conditioner suction. 19 00:01:26,277 --> 00:01:28,108 Who's gonna play Radioactive Man? 20 00:01:28,317 --> 00:01:31,229 I will tell you in exactly seven minutes. 21 00:01:35,437 --> 00:01:39,476 Okay, here we are: "Alt. Nerd. Obsessive." 22 00:01:39,677 --> 00:01:42,908 "Need know star RM pic." 23 00:01:58,397 --> 00:02:01,275 I don't see why Rainier Wolfcastle should be the star. 24 00:02:01,477 --> 00:02:03,786 I think we should bring back Dirk Richter. 25 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:07,029 Kids will want to see the original Radioactive Man. 26 00:02:07,237 --> 00:02:11,025 I keep telling you, he's 73 years old, and he's dead. 27 00:02:11,237 --> 00:02:13,353 - Granted, but... - We want to stay as far away... 28 00:02:13,517 --> 00:02:15,633 ...from the campy '70s version as possible. 29 00:02:17,317 --> 00:02:19,387 Billowing backpacks, Radioactive Man! 30 00:02:19,557 --> 00:02:21,149 It's the worst villain of them all. 31 00:02:21,357 --> 00:02:23,268 The Scoutmaster. 32 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,115 I see him, Fallout Boy. 33 00:02:25,317 --> 00:02:27,592 Go get him, scouts. 34 00:02:34,917 --> 00:02:38,148 Don't be afraid to use your nails, boys. 35 00:03:02,117 --> 00:03:03,789 So where can we shoot this picture? 36 00:03:03,957 --> 00:03:06,790 We need a city that has a nuclear reactor and a gorge... 37 00:03:06,957 --> 00:03:09,949 ...and can guarantee us the full cooperation of city officials. 38 00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:12,193 I'll check Variety. 39 00:03:15,917 --> 00:03:17,635 Look at that ad. 40 00:03:19,077 --> 00:03:22,911 This place must be hot. They don't need a big ad or even correct spelling. 41 00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:24,351 I agree with that logic. 42 00:03:24,517 --> 00:03:26,906 Get me plane tickets to the state Springfield is in. 43 00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:33,232 - We have $30 million to spend. - We'll blow up dams, destroy forests... 44 00:03:33,397 --> 00:03:36,355 ...anything. If there's an animal that's causing you problems... 45 00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:39,031 ...nosing around your camera, we'll have it wiped out. 46 00:03:39,237 --> 00:03:41,990 Look, we just want to make movies, not kill things. 47 00:03:42,157 --> 00:03:44,432 Right. We understand. 48 00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:47,390 Students, I have an announcement. 49 00:03:47,557 --> 00:03:50,469 One of your favorite comic book heroes, Radio Man... 50 00:03:50,637 --> 00:03:52,832 Radioactive Man, stupid! 51 00:03:52,997 --> 00:03:55,306 Strange, I shouldn't have been able to hear that. 52 00:03:55,477 --> 00:03:57,115 A Hollywood studio has decided... 53 00:03:57,277 --> 00:04:00,474 ...to film the Radioactive Man movie here in Springfield. 54 00:04:00,677 --> 00:04:02,269 Yeah! 55 00:04:02,437 --> 00:04:06,510 They will be holding auditions to find a local youngster to play Fallout Boy. 56 00:04:07,557 --> 00:04:10,151 Oh, and the air conditioner will be fixed this afternoon. 57 00:04:15,997 --> 00:04:17,988 Look behind you, Radioactive Man! 58 00:04:18,157 --> 00:04:20,148 The sun is exploding again! 59 00:04:20,957 --> 00:04:22,595 Bart, why are you talking like that? 60 00:04:22,797 --> 00:04:24,708 Yeah, and who the hell are you talking to? 61 00:04:24,877 --> 00:04:28,392 Marge, do you have other men in this house? Radioactive men? 62 00:04:28,597 --> 00:04:30,428 I'm practicing my Fallout Boy dialogue. 63 00:04:30,597 --> 00:04:34,510 If I get this, I can finally come to terms with this funny muddle called Bart. 64 00:04:45,957 --> 00:04:48,391 Everyone is talking... 65 00:04:48,597 --> 00:04:52,272 ...about Radioactive Man, y'all. 66 00:04:54,517 --> 00:04:56,906 You mean you were one of the original Little Rascals? 67 00:04:57,077 --> 00:04:59,227 - Yeah. - Which one were you? The ugly one? 68 00:05:01,357 --> 00:05:05,236 - Were you the ugly one? - No. I was the tough kid, Smelly. 69 00:05:05,397 --> 00:05:08,946 My shtick was looking into an exhaust pipe and getting a face full of soot. 70 00:05:09,117 --> 00:05:12,666 Nobody could do that better than me. It was hard to think of reasons... 71 00:05:12,837 --> 00:05:16,034 ...for me to look in that exhaust pipe, but we had good writers. 72 00:05:16,197 --> 00:05:19,394 William Faulkner can write an exhaust-pipe gag that makes you think. 73 00:05:19,597 --> 00:05:23,795 If you were such a big shot, why aren't you still making movies? 74 00:05:24,477 --> 00:05:26,354 Moe? Moe. 75 00:05:30,837 --> 00:05:33,226 Oh, no, my favorite aggie. 76 00:05:37,397 --> 00:05:39,752 You stole my bit, you! That's my bit! 77 00:05:40,237 --> 00:05:43,912 - You stole my bit! - Cut! Oh, my God! 78 00:05:44,117 --> 00:05:46,233 He's killed the original Alfalfa! 79 00:05:46,437 --> 00:05:49,315 Yeah. Luckily, Alfalfa was an orphan owned by the studio. 80 00:05:49,477 --> 00:05:51,547 - Oh, I see. - That makes sense. 81 00:05:51,757 --> 00:05:53,748 With wealthy Hollywood people on the way... 82 00:05:53,917 --> 00:05:57,273 ...local merchants can be forgiven for raising their prices a little. 83 00:06:10,197 --> 00:06:13,826 Watch out, Radioactive Man! 84 00:06:14,157 --> 00:06:15,670 Totally awesome. 85 00:06:15,877 --> 00:06:18,596 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It's all in the delivery. 86 00:06:18,757 --> 00:06:20,952 Now is the winter of our discontent. 87 00:06:21,157 --> 00:06:22,556 Oh, no! Run! 88 00:06:22,717 --> 00:06:25,185 - Cool! - Yeah! 89 00:06:25,997 --> 00:06:28,875 Mom, don't make me do this. 90 00:06:29,037 --> 00:06:30,629 I don't want to be an actor. 91 00:06:30,837 --> 00:06:33,032 Nonsense. You're going to be great. 92 00:06:33,197 --> 00:06:37,429 Now, take off those glasses, so they can see your beautiful eyes. 93 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:42,747 At last the world is safe, eh, Fallout Boy? 94 00:06:42,957 --> 00:06:44,310 - Watch out...! - Next! 95 00:06:47,877 --> 00:06:50,107 Hey, that hurts. 96 00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:54,111 No wonder no one came to my birthday party. 97 00:06:54,917 --> 00:06:57,989 At last the world is safe, eh, Fallout Boy? 98 00:06:58,157 --> 00:06:59,590 What's for lunch tomorrow? 99 00:06:59,797 --> 00:07:01,913 - Next. - Chicken necks? 100 00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:04,267 We're never going to find... Wait a minute. 101 00:07:04,477 --> 00:07:08,072 That child has qualities we're looking for. He's perfect. What is his name? 102 00:07:08,237 --> 00:07:11,832 I don't know. He just came along with one of the others. He didn't sign up. 103 00:07:11,997 --> 00:07:14,557 Forget him. It wouldn't be fair to the other children... 104 00:07:14,717 --> 00:07:18,426 ...who filled out their application forms in full. Next! 105 00:07:18,597 --> 00:07:22,112 At last the world is safe eh, Fallout Boy? 106 00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:24,947 Watch out, Radioactive Man! 107 00:07:25,157 --> 00:07:26,510 Brilliant reading. Again. 108 00:07:26,997 --> 00:07:29,033 Watch out, Radioactive Man! 109 00:07:29,237 --> 00:07:30,989 Fantastic! One more time. 110 00:07:31,477 --> 00:07:33,388 Watch out, Radioactive Man! 111 00:07:33,597 --> 00:07:35,508 Congratulations, Bart Simpson! 112 00:07:35,717 --> 00:07:37,435 You're our new Fallout Boy! 113 00:07:37,637 --> 00:07:41,027 That's what I'd be saying to you if you weren't an inch too short. Next. 114 00:07:44,837 --> 00:07:48,432 I've got to grow an inch by tomorrow, or I won't get that part. 115 00:07:48,597 --> 00:07:50,394 Pull, you mighty stallions! Pull! 116 00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:52,866 Show me no mercy! 117 00:08:08,037 --> 00:08:10,995 I only grew half an inch. I'm still too short. 118 00:08:11,197 --> 00:08:13,791 Growing half an inch in one day is still pretty good. 119 00:08:13,997 --> 00:08:15,828 Yeah, that's how fast Grampa's shrinking. 120 00:08:15,997 --> 00:08:18,033 I'm as tall as I ever was. 121 00:08:18,237 --> 00:08:22,150 Is there any way I can look taller without actually being taller? 122 00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:29,510 Good news, gentlemen. I grew that extra inch you wanted... 123 00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:32,908 ...plus several feet more. - We've found our new Fallout Boy! 124 00:08:33,477 --> 00:08:34,910 And he's right over there. 125 00:08:35,997 --> 00:08:37,316 Ladies and gentlemen... 126 00:08:37,477 --> 00:08:40,196 ...meet America's new Fallout Boy. 127 00:08:44,037 --> 00:08:47,632 Out of the way. Milhouse, baby. Lionel Hutz, your new agent... 128 00:08:47,797 --> 00:08:50,516 ...bodyguard, unauthorized biographer and drug dealer... 129 00:08:50,677 --> 00:08:52,668 ...keeper-awayer. 130 00:08:55,557 --> 00:08:56,910 Leave me alone! 131 00:08:57,117 --> 00:09:01,030 Mom! Dad, make them stop! 132 00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:06,914 - What is all this stuff? - We've heard you've become a star. 133 00:09:07,077 --> 00:09:09,637 We decided we'd better start living in the fast lane. 134 00:09:09,837 --> 00:09:11,429 What if I'm not a success? 135 00:09:11,597 --> 00:09:13,155 How will you pay for all this? 136 00:09:13,357 --> 00:09:15,473 I'm sorry. I can't hear you, son. 137 00:09:15,637 --> 00:09:17,673 I'm wearing a Jacuzzi suit. 138 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:23,192 I just missed out on the greatest opportunity of my entire life. 139 00:09:23,357 --> 00:09:24,631 George Burns was right. 140 00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:27,265 Show business is a hideous bitch-goddess. 141 00:09:27,437 --> 00:09:30,474 Cheer up, Bart, Milhouse is still gonna need a true friend. 142 00:09:30,677 --> 00:09:33,475 Someone to tell him he's great. Someone to rub lotion on him. 143 00:09:33,637 --> 00:09:36,310 Someone he can hurl whiskey bottles at when he feels low. 144 00:09:36,517 --> 00:09:38,473 You're right, Lis. I can suck up to him... 145 00:09:38,637 --> 00:09:41,549 ...like the religious people suck up to God. 146 00:09:41,997 --> 00:09:43,271 Guess what, kids? 147 00:09:43,477 --> 00:09:46,947 They're gonna pay us $50 a day to film some of the movie here. 148 00:09:47,117 --> 00:09:49,677 We'll run that cable through here. 149 00:09:50,877 --> 00:09:52,469 Careful now. 150 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:56,505 Hey, didn't you direct Unnatural Discretion? 151 00:09:56,717 --> 00:09:58,548 Well, yes, I did. 152 00:10:01,597 --> 00:10:04,430 You know, I never walk out of a movie, but: 153 00:10:04,997 --> 00:10:06,828 I've got an idea, Mr. Simpson. 154 00:10:06,997 --> 00:10:10,467 Why don't you get something to eat from our food truck. 155 00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:13,107 Mr. Simpson? 156 00:10:14,797 --> 00:10:17,709 You've gotta give me the part of Crispy the Clown! 157 00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:22,115 - I'm sorry, you're wrong for the part. - But look at my range! 158 00:10:26,957 --> 00:10:29,152 Well, I'm sorry, Crispy the Clown has been cast. 159 00:10:29,317 --> 00:10:32,627 But I will hire you for Angry the Clown, Silly Sailor... 160 00:10:32,797 --> 00:10:34,708 ...and Dr. Clownius. 161 00:10:34,917 --> 00:10:36,794 I won't let you down. 162 00:10:36,957 --> 00:10:39,027 Well, I might let you down on Silly Sailor. 163 00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:46,230 Up and atom. 164 00:10:46,397 --> 00:10:48,069 Up and at them. 165 00:10:48,237 --> 00:10:49,590 Up and atom! 166 00:10:49,757 --> 00:10:52,396 - Up and at them! - Up and atom! 167 00:10:52,557 --> 00:10:54,991 - Up and at them! - Better. 168 00:10:55,677 --> 00:10:58,749 Hi, Milhouse. Hey, I want you to know that I'm glad... 169 00:10:58,917 --> 00:11:00,509 ...at least one of us got the part. 170 00:11:01,357 --> 00:11:02,836 Milhouse! 171 00:11:02,997 --> 00:11:04,589 I didn't do it. I wished him well. 172 00:11:04,797 --> 00:11:06,310 I wished him well! 173 00:11:08,157 --> 00:11:11,547 Stupid dummy wasn't supposed to explode yet. 174 00:11:11,757 --> 00:11:14,225 There's the real Milhouse. 175 00:11:15,597 --> 00:11:16,996 Milhouse! 176 00:11:17,717 --> 00:11:19,230 Hey, you're not Milhouse. 177 00:11:19,437 --> 00:11:22,634 No. I'm just Milhouse when he gets hurt. 178 00:11:22,837 --> 00:11:27,433 Okay, let's get the real Milhouse over here, under the x-ray truck. 179 00:11:29,997 --> 00:11:32,511 - Hi, Bart. - Hey, cool, Milhouse. 180 00:11:32,677 --> 00:11:34,235 You get to be crushed by a truck. 181 00:11:34,397 --> 00:11:36,706 It sounds like more fun than it really is. 182 00:11:36,877 --> 00:11:41,075 - I think I'm lying on a broken bottle. - Beautiful! Use it. Okay. 183 00:11:41,237 --> 00:11:43,956 Fallout Boy origin scene, take one. 184 00:11:44,357 --> 00:11:45,995 Action! 185 00:11:47,477 --> 00:11:49,035 Up and at them. 186 00:11:49,197 --> 00:11:51,427 Thanks for the help, mysterious stranger. 187 00:11:51,597 --> 00:11:54,873 Say, I think those x-rays gave me superpowers. 188 00:11:55,037 --> 00:11:57,153 And cut! 189 00:11:57,597 --> 00:12:02,193 - That was perfect. Let's do it again. - These aren't real x-rays, are they? 190 00:12:02,397 --> 00:12:04,228 Good question. We'll check into that. 191 00:12:04,397 --> 00:12:07,548 Okay, x-ray machine to full power, and action. 192 00:12:12,157 --> 00:12:14,546 Sir, why don't you just use real cows? 193 00:12:14,717 --> 00:12:17,550 Cows don't look like cows on film. You gotta use horses. 194 00:12:17,717 --> 00:12:20,595 What do you do if you want something that looks like a horse? 195 00:12:20,757 --> 00:12:23,555 Usually we just tape a bunch of cats together. 196 00:12:23,717 --> 00:12:26,277 - You guys work on the movie? - You say we're not working? 197 00:12:26,477 --> 00:12:28,547 I always wanted to be a teamster. 198 00:12:28,717 --> 00:12:30,833 So lazy and surly. 199 00:12:31,037 --> 00:12:33,505 Mind if I relax next to you? 200 00:12:56,197 --> 00:12:58,552 Oh, here he comes. What is it now, Quimby? 201 00:12:58,757 --> 00:13:01,988 Nothing. Nothing. Only the city has just passed... 202 00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:06,514 ...another tax on puffy directing pants. - I don't wear puffy pants. 203 00:13:06,717 --> 00:13:09,629 I meant a tax on not wearing puffy pants. 204 00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:11,746 I'm sorry. 205 00:13:16,117 --> 00:13:19,996 Wow, you really got it made now, Milhouse. This is living. 206 00:13:20,197 --> 00:13:23,348 Is it, Bart? Is it really? 207 00:13:23,557 --> 00:13:25,991 - Yeah. - Ever since I became a movie star... 208 00:13:26,157 --> 00:13:28,717 ...I've been miserable. I had to get up at 5 a. M... 209 00:13:28,877 --> 00:13:32,506 ...just for makeup. I like the way the blush brings out my cheekbones... 210 00:13:32,677 --> 00:13:34,269 ...but it's not worth it. 211 00:13:34,437 --> 00:13:36,871 And making movies is so horribly repetitive. 212 00:13:37,037 --> 00:13:40,586 I've said "Jiminy Jillickers" so many times, the words have lost all meaning. 213 00:13:40,757 --> 00:13:43,351 We've got to do the "Jiminy Jillickers" scene again. 214 00:13:43,517 --> 00:13:45,269 But we already did it. 215 00:13:45,477 --> 00:13:48,514 It took seven hours, but we did it. 216 00:13:48,677 --> 00:13:50,076 It's done. 217 00:13:50,277 --> 00:13:54,828 Yes, but we've got to do it from different angles, again and again. 218 00:13:54,997 --> 00:13:57,033 And again and again and again. 219 00:13:59,717 --> 00:14:00,991 Yeah. 220 00:14:06,597 --> 00:14:09,873 I can’t believe Silly Sailor beat us both up... 221 00:14:10,037 --> 00:14:13,154 ...and imprisoned us in his floating Aquaworld. 222 00:14:13,317 --> 00:14:14,716 Jiminy Jillickers! 223 00:14:14,917 --> 00:14:19,354 There now, there's no need for profanity, Fallout Boy. 224 00:14:19,557 --> 00:14:21,673 Everyone in town has been gouging us silly. 225 00:14:21,837 --> 00:14:24,397 But it's worth it. It's all up there on the screen. 226 00:14:24,557 --> 00:14:27,151 Yes. That Milhouse is going to be big. 227 00:14:27,317 --> 00:14:28,591 Gabby Hayes big. 228 00:14:31,357 --> 00:14:34,793 Okay, listen up, everybody. This is the hardest, most expensive scene... 229 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,915 ...in the movie. We get one shot at it. We have to do it right. 230 00:14:38,117 --> 00:14:42,076 Fallout Boy will untie Radioactive Man and pull him to safety... 231 00:14:42,237 --> 00:14:46,276 ...moments before he's hit with a 40-foot wall of sulfuric acid... 232 00:14:46,477 --> 00:14:48,752 ...that will horribly burn everything in its path. 233 00:14:48,917 --> 00:14:52,432 Now, that's real acid, so I want to see goggles, people. 234 00:14:53,717 --> 00:14:58,188 - Real acid? - Okay, roll film. 235 00:14:58,397 --> 00:14:59,876 Tip the acid vats. 236 00:15:00,077 --> 00:15:02,352 And action. 237 00:15:05,797 --> 00:15:09,506 Only Fallout Boy can save me now. 238 00:15:10,517 --> 00:15:11,836 Where's Fallout Boy? 239 00:15:15,357 --> 00:15:16,756 Fallout Boy? 240 00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:26,912 My eyes! The goggles do nothing. 241 00:15:37,397 --> 00:15:39,467 Where in the hell is Milhouse? 242 00:15:39,637 --> 00:15:42,834 That one shot cost us a million dollars! 243 00:15:42,997 --> 00:15:44,396 Where's the producer? 244 00:15:44,597 --> 00:15:47,111 I want to talk about this coffee. 245 00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:06,271 Milhouse! 246 00:16:11,717 --> 00:16:13,912 Thanks to modern editing techniques... 247 00:16:14,117 --> 00:16:18,030 ...we could use existing footage to complete the film without Milhouse. 248 00:16:18,877 --> 00:16:20,674 Watch. 249 00:16:22,837 --> 00:16:25,510 Looks like we're in trouble, Fallout Boy. 250 00:16:25,717 --> 00:16:28,106 Jiminy Jillickers, Radioactive Man! 251 00:16:28,317 --> 00:16:30,877 We'll have to fight our way out. Are you ready? 252 00:16:31,197 --> 00:16:32,266 Yes. 253 00:16:35,197 --> 00:16:36,550 Seamless, huh? 254 00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:39,713 - You're fired. - And with good cause. 255 00:16:42,477 --> 00:16:43,751 Go. 256 00:16:44,397 --> 00:16:46,228 Okay, we can all stop worrying now. 257 00:16:46,437 --> 00:16:50,066 - These dogs never fail. - But will they just find Milhouse... 258 00:16:50,237 --> 00:16:53,035 ...or will they find him and kill him? - Well, they'll... 259 00:16:53,197 --> 00:16:55,870 When they find him, they'll... 260 00:16:58,797 --> 00:17:00,549 Excuse me. You didn't answer me. 261 00:17:00,717 --> 00:17:03,356 - You just trailed off. - Yeah. 262 00:17:03,517 --> 00:17:05,712 Yeah, I did kind of trail off there, didn't I? 263 00:17:06,877 --> 00:17:09,471 I know Milhouse. I'll just check all his old haunts. 264 00:17:13,637 --> 00:17:15,912 - Have you seen Milhouse? - No. Now go away. 265 00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:18,955 We're racing for the title of the champion of the universe. 266 00:17:21,117 --> 00:17:22,106 All right. 267 00:17:27,877 --> 00:17:30,550 Yo, Dr. S, have you seen Milhouse today? 268 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:31,991 - No. - Okay, thanks. 269 00:17:32,157 --> 00:17:35,513 Wait. You know there's a correlation between the decline of Spirograph... 270 00:17:35,677 --> 00:17:37,952 ...and the rise in gang activity? Think about it. 271 00:17:38,117 --> 00:17:41,314 - I will. - No, you won't. 272 00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:46,227 The only place left is the tree house. 273 00:17:50,997 --> 00:17:54,228 Stay away from me, Bart. I mean it, I'm not going back. 274 00:17:54,397 --> 00:17:56,149 I'm not cut out to be a star. 275 00:17:56,357 --> 00:18:00,191 But, Milhouse, being a star is every patriotic American's dream. 276 00:18:00,357 --> 00:18:02,746 Not mine. It's a sham, Bart. 277 00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:05,517 You get up on that movie screen pretending to be a hero. 278 00:18:05,677 --> 00:18:08,714 But you're not. The real heroes are out there... 279 00:18:08,877 --> 00:18:11,755 ...toiling day and night on more important things. 280 00:18:12,317 --> 00:18:13,875 - Television. - No... 281 00:18:14,037 --> 00:18:16,597 ...curing heart disease and wiping out world hunger. 282 00:18:16,757 --> 00:18:19,191 But, Milhouse, they haven't cured anything. 283 00:18:19,357 --> 00:18:21,587 Heart disease and world hunger are still rampant. 284 00:18:21,757 --> 00:18:26,035 Those do-gooders are all a bunch of pitiful losers, every last one of them. 285 00:18:26,197 --> 00:18:29,394 Want results? You have to go to the Schwarzeneggers, the Stallones... 286 00:18:29,557 --> 00:18:32,390 ...and, to a lesser extent, the Van Dammes. 287 00:18:35,677 --> 00:18:37,235 - Mickey Rooney! - Mickey Rooney! 288 00:18:37,437 --> 00:18:38,711 Hi, Milhouse. 289 00:18:38,877 --> 00:18:42,153 The studio sent me to talk to you, being a former child star myself... 290 00:18:42,317 --> 00:18:44,672 ...and the number one box-office draw... 291 00:18:44,837 --> 00:18:47,397 ...from 1939 through 1940. 292 00:18:47,597 --> 00:18:50,748 - Wow, spanning two decades. - How did you find us? 293 00:18:52,117 --> 00:18:54,028 They tapped your tree house phone. 294 00:18:56,077 --> 00:18:58,750 Milhouse, listen, you can't quit this movie. 295 00:18:58,917 --> 00:19:02,273 I've seen your work. It's good. Very, very good. 296 00:19:02,437 --> 00:19:03,756 Van Johnson good. 297 00:19:03,917 --> 00:19:05,555 I know I'm good. 298 00:19:05,717 --> 00:19:07,833 Movie stardom is just so hollow. 299 00:19:07,997 --> 00:19:10,386 Hollow? The only thing in show business... 300 00:19:10,557 --> 00:19:12,388 ...that's hollow is the music industry. 301 00:19:12,557 --> 00:19:15,594 Come on, Milhouse, you have to do this, if not for yourself... 302 00:19:15,757 --> 00:19:18,908 ...then for the moviegoing public and for the foreign markets... 303 00:19:19,077 --> 00:19:22,513 ...that are more important than ever nowadays... 304 00:19:22,677 --> 00:19:24,952 ...and finally, for me... 305 00:19:25,917 --> 00:19:28,795 ...the Mickster. - No. 306 00:19:28,997 --> 00:19:30,271 All right, I tried. 307 00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:33,873 Fortunately, we have a perfectly good Fallout Boy right here. 308 00:19:35,597 --> 00:19:39,306 Jiminy Jillickers! Jiminy Jillickers! Jiminy Jillickers! 309 00:19:39,477 --> 00:19:40,910 We're shutting down production. 310 00:19:41,077 --> 00:19:43,637 Yeah, well, we only have a thousand dollars left anyway. 311 00:19:43,797 --> 00:19:45,947 There's a thousand dollar leaving-town tax. 312 00:19:49,277 --> 00:19:50,915 Well, I hope you're all satisfied. 313 00:19:51,117 --> 00:19:53,233 You've bankrupted a bunch of naive movie folks. 314 00:19:53,397 --> 00:19:56,514 Folks from Hollywood where values are different. 315 00:19:56,677 --> 00:19:58,429 They weren't thinking about the money. 316 00:19:58,597 --> 00:20:02,351 They just wanted to tell a story, a story about a radioactive man. 317 00:20:02,517 --> 00:20:05,953 And you slick small-towners took them for all they were worth. 318 00:20:09,277 --> 00:20:12,349 Can we give them some of their money back? 319 00:20:12,517 --> 00:20:14,030 No. 320 00:20:15,077 --> 00:20:17,591 Hurry, Mr. Rooney. We've got a disenchanted girl... 321 00:20:17,757 --> 00:20:20,874 ...in a Jell-O pudding commercial. - I can play that. 322 00:20:22,317 --> 00:20:26,549 So it must be tough giving up all that glamour and coming back to school. 323 00:20:26,717 --> 00:20:29,595 Quiet. Maybe I can get my citizenship. 324 00:20:35,517 --> 00:20:37,428 We know you don't have any more money left. 325 00:20:37,597 --> 00:20:39,872 That doesn't matter. Take whatever you need... 326 00:20:40,037 --> 00:20:42,915 ...from our boutiques until you can get back on your feet. 327 00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:46,905 Thank God we're back in Hollywood where people treat each other right. 328 00:21:49,677 --> 00:21:51,668 Subtitles by SDI Media Group 329 00:21:51,877 --> 00:21:53,868 [ENGLISH]