1
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♪ The Simpsons ♪

2
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D'

3
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Did you hear about Miss Hoover?

4
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She drank a bottle
of drain cleaner by mistake.

5
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I heard she fell down a well.

6
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Come on, now.

7
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My God, she's been dumped again.

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Children,
I won't be staying long.

9
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I just came from the doctor,
and I have lyme disease.

10
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Principal Skinner
will run the class

11
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until a substitute arrives.

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- What's lyme disease?
- I'll field that one.

13
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Lyme disease is spread
by small parasites called ticks.

14
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When a diseased tick
attaches itself to you

15
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and begins sucking your blood,

16
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malignant spirochetes
infest your bloodstream,

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eventually spreading to your
spinal fluid and on into the brain.

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The brain.
Dear God.

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Come on, Elizabeth.
Come, come.

20
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Well now, children, here we are.

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Open your primers to page 32.

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Subtraction.

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Bart Simpson!
I know it's you.

24
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And here comes snowball two.
This is the one we kept.

25
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Eww!

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We were gonna keep the gray one,
but the mother ate her.

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Eww!

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Mrs. Krabappel,

29
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he's traumatizing the children.

30
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As usual,
I agree with you, Martin.

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Bart, shut that off
and take your seat immediately.

32
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Look, this is really cool.

33
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When you hit reverse,
I can make 'em go back in.

34
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No, children,
you're not seeing things.

35
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This, my little friends,
is a schwa.

36
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- Are you the substitute?
- Yes, sir.

37
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- Yes, I am.
- Are you insane?

38
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No sir, no I'm not.
It's my way of getting their attention.

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Well, all right.
Play friendly

40
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with your new teacher, children.

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Howdy. I am a Texas cowboy.
The year is 1830.

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You young'uns ask me
any questions you like.

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Can we play kickball instead
of science after lunch?

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Kickball? Son, there ain't
no kickball in 1830.

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Any other questions?

46
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Shoot, it's awfully quiet
on the plains here.

47
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Well, how about this? Everybody?
I want to see two eyes

48
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on every single person
staring right at me right now.

49
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There are three things wrong
with my costume.

50
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Anybody names those three
things will get my hat.

51
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I believe I know the answer.

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- What's your name?
- Lisa Simpson.

53
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- Well, go ahead, Miss Simpson.
- Um, one.

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Your belt buckle says
"State of Texas,"

55
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but Texas wasn't a state
until 1845.

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- Very good.
- Two.

57
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- The revolver wasn't invented until 1835.
- That's excellent.

58
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Three. You seem to be
of the Jewish faith.

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Are you sure I'm Jewish?

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- Or Italian.
- I'm Jewish.

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And there weren't
any Jewish cowboys.

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Very good. That's excellent.

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I'm also wearing a digital watch,
but I'll accept that.

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Here you go, little lady.
And for the record,

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there were a few Jewish cowboys,
ladies and gentlemen.

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Big guys who were great shots
and spent money freely.

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I'm Mr. Bergstrom. Feel free to
make fun of my name if you want.

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Two suggestions
are "Mr. Nerdstrom"

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and "Mr. Booger-strom."

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Boys and girls, today we will begin
selecting a class president.

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I'm not allowed to vote,

72
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but I strongly suggest
you elect Martin. Martin?

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As your president,

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I would demand
a science fiction library

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featuring an A-B-C
of the overlords of the genre:

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Asimov, Bester, Clarke...

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- What about Ray Bradbury?
- I'm aware of his work.

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Thank you,
and keep watching the skies!

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Excellent! Excellent! Martin!

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If you're through
with your pemmican,

81
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why don't we sing a song
about cowboys?

82
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Now, this one's not
very accurate,

83
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but we can fix it up
as we go along. Okay?

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♪ Home,
home on the range ♪

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Actually, the range
was far from home.

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It was a very desolate place

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where danger and disease
rode tall in the saddle.

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♪ Where the deer
and the antelope play ♪

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But unlike
the efficient Indians,

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cowboys used only the tongue
of the antelope,

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and they threw the rest away.

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♪ Where seldom is heard ♪

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♪ A discouraging word ♪

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♪ And the skies are
not cloudy all day. ♪

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Hey, what's this?
Did you do it?

96
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No, it wasn't me. I would never do
anything like that.

97
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It was just one of those immature people
who, instead of building themselves up...

98
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It's neat.
Can I have it?

99
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Yes, but I didn't do it.

100
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Are you sure you didn't?
It's good.

101
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No, but I'm starting
to wish I had.

102
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Ladies and gentlemen:
The Singing Dork.

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Lisa.

104
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Any other nominations?

105
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We nominate Bart Simpson.

106
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Speech! Speech!

107
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I had a speech ready,
but my dog ate it.

108
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Children!

109
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Good. Bart, I need
someone very reliable

110
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to deliver an important message
to the principal's office.

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- Would you do it for me?
- Why Mrs. Krabappel,

112
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how would I know where
the principal's office is?

113
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People, what have I told you
about encouraging him?

114
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When Bart wins approval for making a fool
of himself, it makes him think that...

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Yay, Bart!

116
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Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart!

117
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Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

118
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"Nobody...

119
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"of the hundreds of people
that had visited the fair

120
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"knew that a gray spider

121
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"had played the most
important part of all.

122
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No one was with her
when she died."

123
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Come on, Janey!
Everybody has a talent.

124
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I want to see yours.
That's all.

125
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- I don't have a talent.
- You can not talk like that.

126
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There has to be something that
you can do better than anybody else.

127
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Well, I can do this.

128
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Yes! Great.

129
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Okay. How about you, Ralph?

130
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Wonderful! Chuck.

131
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That's disgusting.
I love it.

132
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Lisa! Come on,
you're holding out on us.

133
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- I see a saxophone over there.
- I can't.

134
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Come on, Lisa.
I bet you're good.

135
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No, really, I can't.

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Sure, you can.
Just try.

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Please don't make me do it.

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All right, you owe me
something special.

139
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So... while I'm technically
still married,

140
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there really hasn't been
any marriage to speak of

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since Mister Krabappel moved
into his little love nest.

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This profession can put
a lot of strain on a marriage.

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Since he's been gone,

144
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I've been looking
for a substitute

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to teach me a lesson
I sorely need.

146
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Mrs. Krabappel,
you're trying to seduce me.

147
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Well?

148
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I'm sorry,
Mrs. Krabappel.

149
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You're very nice,
but it's the children I love.

150
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When I fall asleep,

151
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Mr. Bergstrom is
the last thing I think of.

152
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And he's my first thought
when I wake up.

153
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I feel that way
about your father.

154
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No, no. You don't understand.

155
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When Mr. Bergstrom smiles,
you only see these teeth.

156
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But when you really make him laugh,
you can see these two teeth.

157
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I think they're called
the eye teeth?

158
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I don't know if he had
orthodontic work or what,

159
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but they're absolutely perfect.

160
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I notice little things
about your father too.

161
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No, Mom. This is different.

162
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I mean, this man makes you feel
like there's nobody better.

163
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Your father does that to me.

164
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Mom, are we going to talk,
or are we going to talk?

165
00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:55,933
Lisa, we can talk, but first you have
to accept the fact

166
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- that I feel that way about your father.
- Fine.

167
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Yesterday he read us
"Charlotte's Web"

168
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and cried at the end,
never trying to hide his tears.

169
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A book made him cry?

170
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- Boo-hoo!
- Waaaah!

171
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:17,705
Mr. Bergstrom: Remember,
nobody, and I mean nobody

172
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gets back in after lunch
without one igneous rock...

173
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That's volcanic...

174
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And one sedimentary,
and that is layered.

175
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,171
Lisa, can I see you
for a minute?

176
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Yes! Yes, Mr. Bergstrom?

177
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,218
Lisa, your homework is always so neat.
How can I put this?

178
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Does your father
help you with it?

179
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No. Homework's
not my father's specialty.

180
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Well, there's no shame in it.
I mean, my Dad...

181
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- Not mine.
- You didn't let me finish.

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Unless the next word was "burp,"

183
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you didn't have to.

184
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In a sample taken
in this very classroom,

185
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a state inspector found 1.74 parts
per million of asbestos!

186
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That's not enough.
We demand more asbestos.

187
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More asbestos!
More asbestos!

188
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,452
More asbestos! More asbestos!

189
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:01,582
Wow! You made the front page.

190
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,459
Aw, Dad, it's just
a popularity contest.

191
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,920
Just a popularity contest?

192
00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:08,839
Excuse me, what's more
important than popularity?

193
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,342
Now, Bart, do you really
think you can win?

194
00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:13,386
- Sure. Why not?
- Whoo-whoo!

195
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:15,721
All right. I always knew
you had personality.

196
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:18,391
The doctor said it was hyperactivity
but I knew better.

197
00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:20,351
President Simpson.

198
00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:23,187
Has a nice ring to it,
doesn't it, boy?

199
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:24,522
Yeah.

200
00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:27,733
Now, go get 'em!

201
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,111
He says there aren't
any easy answers.

202
00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:32,947
I say he's not looking
hard enough!

203
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:39,537
Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart!

204
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,967
Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart!

205
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,768
You'll never go broke

206
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,496
appealing to the lowest
common denominator.

207
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,147
You're gonna miss
your brother's antics.

208
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:08,149
- When?
- When? When your life takes you places

209
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:10,401
the rest of us
have only heard about.

210
00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:12,796
Places where my intelligence will be
an asset and not a liability?

211
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:15,615
Yes. There is such a place.
Believe me, it's true.

212
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,366
I believe everything you say

213
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,493
with your words,
your body language,

214
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,412
and your Semitic good looks.

215
00:10:21,495 --> 00:10:24,498
"Dear Miss Hoover,
You have lyme disease.

216
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:25,916
"We miss you.

217
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,126
"Kevin's biting me.

218
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:28,419
"Come back soon.

219
00:10:28,502 --> 00:10:30,504
"Here is a drawing
of a spirochete.

220
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:33,049
- Love, Ralph."
- That's great, Ralph.

221
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,800
Hey, kids!

222
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,260
I've learned that in two weeks,

223
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:37,904
the Springfield
Museum of Natural History

224
00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:41,307
will be closing forever
due to a lack of interest.

225
00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:43,934
I urge you to see it
while you can.

226
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:49,357
Lisa needs to go
to the museum tomorrow,

227
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,233
and I think you should take her.

228
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,319
The museum? Tomorrow?

229
00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:57,448
Marge, I'd love to,
but I was planning on...

230
00:10:57,531 --> 00:10:59,825
Sleeping?
Eating a big sandwich?

231
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:02,328
Watching TV?
Spending time with the boy!

232
00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:04,789
Spending time with the boy.
The boy needs attention, Marge.

233
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,791
Homer, I've been talking
to Lisa,

234
00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:08,268
and I'm concerned about
your relationship with her.

235
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:09,669
Me, too, Mom.

236
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,396
- I think they're drifting apart.
- Shut up, boy.

237
00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:14,298
- Homer, please!
- Marge, you don't understand.

238
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,676
I can't do it because...
You're trapped.

239
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,528
If you were smarter,
you might think of something.

240
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:20,596
But you're not.
So you just might as well...

241
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,723
All right, all right,
I'll take her.

242
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:25,393
Lousy brain.

243
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:29,772
Hey, what do you mean
by "suggested donation"?

244
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:31,565
Pay any amount you wish, sir.

245
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:34,151
And what if I wish to pay zero?

246
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,778
Well, it's up to you.

247
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,947
Ooh, so it's up to me, is it?

248
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,740
- Yes.
- I see.

249
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:43,869
And you think that people
are gonna pay you $4.50

250
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,413
even though they don't have to

251
00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,081
just out of the goodness
of their...

252
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:50,543
Well, anything you say.

253
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:51,961
Good luck, lady.

254
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:53,129
You're going to need it.

255
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,673
- Mr. Bergstrom!
- Hi, Lisa.

256
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:58,050
Hey! you don't have to pay.
Read the sign.

257
00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:00,761
And this must be your father.

258
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:03,514
His teeth had jagged edges
to rip through your body,

259
00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:05,349
but he could've
swallowed you whole.

260
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,727
- Wow!
- Actually, Mr. Simpson,

261
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,730
they do know a great deal about
the process of mummification.

262
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:13,566
First they pulled the brain out
through the nose with an iron hook.

263
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:15,377
Then stuffed the insides
with sawdust and onions.

264
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:18,195
- Eww! Gross!
- Ooh! Pretty creepy.

265
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:20,698
Still, I'd rather have him
chasing me than The Wolfman.

266
00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:22,116
Lord.

267
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:31,959
Mr. Simpson, I am going
to be presumptuous.

268
00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:33,878
I have noticed
that Lisa seems to feel

269
00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:35,796
she has no strong
male role model.

270
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,674
- She said that?
- Well, no, she didn't say it,

271
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,968
- but, you know, she...
- But you can tell, right?

272
00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:43,971
She looks around and sees everybody
else's dad with a good education,

273
00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:46,056
youthful looks,
and a clean credit record

274
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:48,517
and thinks, "Why me?
What did I do to deserve

275
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,269
- this fat, old piece of...
- Mr. Simpson,

276
00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:51,979
you have got to be a bigger man.

277
00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:54,398
There is a wonderful girl's
future at stake.

278
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,442
Well, if she's so wonderful,
give her an "A."

279
00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:57,777
I am giving her an "A."

280
00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,005
Great, but don't tell her it was
a favor to me. Tell her she earned it.

281
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:01,822
Mr. Simpson, she did earn it!

282
00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:04,784
You are smooth.
I'll give you that.

283
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:10,956
He ruined the one chance
I had of getting

284
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,626
to know Mr. Bergstrom
outside of school.

285
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:16,128
Well, I'll tell you what.

286
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,214
Why don't we invite
Mr. Bergstrom to dinner?

287
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:20,674
Mom, that's wonderful!

288
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:21,943
Can I find out his favorite dish

289
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:23,177
- and help you make it?
- Sure!

290
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,488
- Can I wear your jewelry?
- Sure!

291
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:25,572
- Can I get my ears pierced?
- No.

292
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:26,782
- Can I dye my shoes pink?
- Yes.

293
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:27,932
- Can I paint my nails?
- No.

294
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:30,226
- Can we have wine? Can I have wine?
- Yes. No.

295
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:31,453
- Does Bart have to be there?
- Yes.

296
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,020
Can we do it this week?

297
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:35,356
"Mr. Bergstrom,
May we request the pleasure

298
00:13:35,439 --> 00:13:37,733
of your company..."
No.

299
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,461
"Mr. Bergstrom, if you're
not doing anything

300
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,278
this Friday..." No.

301
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,739
"Mr. Bergstrom,
Do you like pork chops?"

302
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,116
No, of course you wouldn't.

303
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:51,163
Good morning, Lisa.
I'm back.

304
00:13:57,127 --> 00:14:00,047
You see, class, my lyme
disease turned out to be...

305
00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:02,758
psy-cho-somatic.

306
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,260
Does that mean you're crazy?

307
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:05,761
No, that means
she was faking it.

308
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,680
No, actually,
it was a little of both.

309
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:10,474
Sometimes, when a disease
is in all the magazines

310
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:12,184
and on all the news shows,

311
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,520
it's only natural
that you think you have it.

312
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,730
- Where's Mr. Bergstrom?
- I don't know.

313
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:19,066
Although I'd sure like
to talk to him.

314
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:22,945
He didn't touch my lesson plan.
What did he teach you?

315
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:25,281
That life is worth living.

316
00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:29,785
The polls will be open from
now until the end of recess.

317
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:33,956
Now, just in case any of you have
decided to put any thought into this,

318
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:36,125
we'll have our final statements.

319
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:37,209
Martin?

320
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:40,337
I don't think there's
anything left to say.

321
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,381
- Bart?
- Victory party under the slide!

322
00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:50,431
Mr. Bergstrom!

323
00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:52,141
Mr. Bergstrom!

324
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:54,476
Hey! Hey!
He moved out this morning.

325
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,313
He must have a new job...
He took his Copernicus costume.

326
00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:59,398
Do you know where
I can find him?

327
00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:01,817
I think he's taking
the next train to Capital City.

328
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,194
The train, how like him.

329
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:06,989
Traditional,
yet environmentally sound.

330
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:09,658
Yes, and it's been
the backbone of our country

331
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:13,954
since Leland Stanford drove that
golden spike at Promontory Point.

332
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:17,291
I see he touched you too.

333
00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:20,628
- Thanks for your vote, man.
- I didn't vote. Voting's for geeks.

334
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:22,588
Well, you got that right.

335
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:24,465
Thanks for your vote, girls.

336
00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:25,841
We forgot.

337
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,051
Well, don't sweat it.

338
00:15:27,134 --> 00:15:28,236
Just so long as a couple
of people did.

339
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,678
Right, Milhouse?

340
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,263
- Lewis?
- No.

341
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,849
- Somebody must have voted.
- What about you, Bart?

342
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,268
Didn't you vote?

343
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,818
I demand a recount.

344
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,695
One for Martin.
Two for Martin.

345
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,822
- Would you like another recount?
- No.

346
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,783
Well, I just wanna make sure.

347
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:54,662
One for Martin. Two for Martin.

348
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:55,745
This way, Mr. President.

349
00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:02,461
Now boarding on track five...

350
00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:04,421
Mr. Bergstrom!

351
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,090
Hey, Mr. Bergstrom!

352
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:08,509
Hey! Lisa!

353
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,344
Hey, Lisa, indeed.

354
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:12,554
What? What is it?

355
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,682
I mean...

356
00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:17,685
Were you just going to
leave, just like that?

357
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:19,520
Aw, I'm sorry, Lisa.

358
00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:22,773
You know, it's the life
of the substitute teacher.

359
00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:24,024
He's a fraud.

360
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,943
Today he might be
wearing gym shorts,

361
00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:29,196
tomorrow he's speaking
French or pretending

362
00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:30,948
to know how to run a band saw,

363
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:33,200
- or God knows what.
- You can't go.

364
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:35,202
You're the best teacher
I'll ever have.

365
00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:37,705
Aw, that's not true.
Other teachers will come along.

366
00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:40,874
- Please!
- No, I can't lie to you, I am the best,

367
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:43,711
but, you know, they need me over
in the projects of Capital City.

368
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:46,171
But I need you too.

369
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:49,133
That's the problem
with being middle class.

370
00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:50,816
Anybody who really cares
will abandon you

371
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:52,052
for those who need it more.

372
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:56,098
I... I understand.

373
00:16:56,181 --> 00:17:00,352
Mr. Bergstrom,
I'm going to miss you.

374
00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:03,439
I'll tell you what.

375
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:06,442
Whenever you feel
like you're alone

376
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:08,652
and there's nobody
you can rely on,

377
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:11,363
this is all you need to know.

378
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:13,574
Thank you, Mr. Bergstrom.

379
00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:14,700
All aboard!

380
00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:17,244
So, I guess this is it.

381
00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:19,121
If you don't mind,

382
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:21,999
I'll just run alongside
the train

383
00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:24,418
as it speeds you from my life.

384
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,140
Good-bye, Lisa honey.

385
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:42,728
It'll be okay.
Just read the note!

386
00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:51,361
Bart didn't get one vote?

387
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:54,823
This is the worst thing
that could ever happen to us.

388
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,325
All right, all right,

389
00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,202
spilt milk, spilt milk,
spilt milk.

390
00:17:58,285 --> 00:18:00,496
- What are you so mopey about?
- Nothing.

391
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,748
Lisa, tell your father.

392
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:04,792
Mr. Bergstrom
left today.

393
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:07,336
He's gone forever.

394
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:10,172
- And?
- I didn't think you'd understand.

395
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:14,968
Hey! Just because I don't
care doesn't mean I don't understand.

396
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:17,763
I'm glad I'm not crying,

397
00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:19,431
because I would hate
for you to think

398
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:23,060
that what I'm about to say
is based on emotion.

399
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:25,437
But you, sir...

400
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:28,190
- are a baboon!
- Me?

401
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,276
Yes, you! Baboon! Baboon!
Baboon! Baboon!

402
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,862
I don't think you realize
what you're saying.

403
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,115
Baboon!

404
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,784
Whoa.

405
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:40,452
Somebody was bound
to say it one day.

406
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:41,411
I just can't believe it was her.

407
00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:43,080
Did you hear that, Marge?

408
00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:45,332
She called me a baboon!

409
00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:48,627
The stupidest, ugliest,
smelliest ape of them all.

410
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:51,588
Homer, you're not allowed to have
hurt feelings right now.

411
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,966
There's a little girl upstairs
who needs you.

412
00:18:54,049 --> 00:18:56,301
Her confidence
in her father is shaken,

413
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:59,805
and no little girl can be happy
unless she has faith in her daddy.

414
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:07,729
"Go away."

415
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:12,109
Lisa, don't hold anything back.

416
00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:14,111
You can tell me.

417
00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:17,573
Are you crying because
you called Daddy a baboon?

418
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:19,324
- No!
- Nuts.

419
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:20,909
D'

420
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:24,246
- This isn't going well at all.
- Look!

421
00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:26,582
- If you just want me to forgive you...
- No, no, no.

422
00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:28,917
I just wish I knew what to say.

423
00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:34,006
Although,
maybe this music will help.

424
00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:37,426
Now, you lost someone
special, and it hurts.

425
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:41,054
I'm lucky, because I never
lost anyone special to me.

426
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:44,099
Everyone special to me
is under this roof.

427
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,018
It's true.

428
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:49,980
Now, you'll have lots of special people
in your life, Lisa.

429
00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:53,150
There's probably someplace
where they all get together,

430
00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:56,695
and the food is real good,
and guys like me are serving drinks.

431
00:19:56,778 --> 00:20:01,158
Well, maybe
I can't explain all this,

432
00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:03,202
but I can fix
your dollhouse for you.

433
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:06,705
At least I'm good
at monkey work.

434
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:08,582
You know? Monkey?

435
00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:10,834
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah.

436
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:13,003
Bet I can hold these nails
in place with my tail.

437
00:20:19,259 --> 00:20:20,677
You're so silly.

438
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:23,722
- Give me a banana.
- I don't have any bananas.

439
00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:25,641
Come on, you're
holding out on me.

440
00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:32,689
I'm sorry I called you
a baboon, Dad.

441
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:34,066
Think nothing of it.

442
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:38,403
President prince,
president princess,

443
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:39,863
president priss...

444
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:44,076
Hey, what's the matter, son?

445
00:20:44,159 --> 00:20:45,744
Aw, Dad...

446
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:48,914
If just me, Milhouse,
and Louis had voted.

447
00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:51,541
Hey, son, would you have gotten

448
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:53,877
any money for being
class president?

449
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:56,046
- No.
- Would you have to do extra work?

450
00:20:56,129 --> 00:20:58,298
- Yeah.
- And, is this Martin guy

451
00:20:58,382 --> 00:21:00,050
going to get to do
anything neat,

452
00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:03,303
Like throw out the first ball
at the World Series?

453
00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:06,890
- Well, no.
- So let the baby have his bottle?

454
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:10,894
That's my motto.

455
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:13,397
Hey, thanks, monkey man.

456
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:18,902
Holy moly, talk about parenting.

457
00:21:24,741 --> 00:21:26,285
Sleep well, Maggie.

458
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:29,037
Three for three.

459
00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:32,308
Homey, did you straighten
everything out?

460
00:21:32,332 --> 00:21:33,750
Bup, bup, bup, bup!

461
00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,961
Don't say anything, Marge.

462
00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:37,170
Let's just go to bed.

463
00:21:37,254 --> 00:21:40,674
I'm on the biggest roll
of my life.

464
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:47,597
♪♪

465
00:22:49,451 --> 00:22:50,451
Shh!

466
00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:56,833
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.