1 00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:06,381 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:07,025 Aah! 3 00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:11,946 Hey, what... What? What the... Who the... 4 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,878 Dad, the next time we see you 5 00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:28,296 we'll do something more fun. 6 00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:30,632 What could be more fun 7 00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:34,094 than today's trip to the liquor store? 8 00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:35,804 Thanks for the beef jerky. 9 00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:37,031 Say good-bye to Grampa, everyone. 10 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,723 - Bye. - Good-b... 11 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,103 You know, Grampa kinda smells like that trunk in the garage 12 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:44,354 where the bottom's all wet. 13 00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,397 Nu-he smells more like a photo lab. 14 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:48,108 Stop it! Both of you. 15 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:50,235 Grampa smells like a regular old man 16 00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:52,570 which is more like a hallway in a hospital. 17 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,280 Homer, that's terrible. 18 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:57,033 We should be teaching the children to treasure the elderly. 19 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,993 You know, we'll be old someday. 20 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:01,162 My God! You're right, Marge! 21 00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:03,265 You kids won't put me in a home like I did to my Dad, would you? 22 00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:05,208 Well... 23 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:07,335 Marge, what do we do? 24 00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:10,088 Well, I think we better set an example. 25 00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:13,007 Absolutely. Our third Sunday of every month 26 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:15,426 should be a pleasure, not a chore. 27 00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,762 Where's someplace fun we can take Grampa next time? 28 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,180 - To the pony ride. - No. 29 00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:20,974 - Yeah! - Boring. 30 00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:23,452 - He can't sit on ponies. - Well, I always enjoy the glass blower 31 00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:26,104 - at old Springfield town. - Aw, he saw that. 32 00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:27,397 Big yawner. 33 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,732 The Museum of Barnyard Oddities. 34 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,401 - No, Bart, no. - Bart, gross. 35 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:33,111 - Gosh. - I got it. 36 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,571 The Springfield Mystery Spot. 37 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,739 Dad, it's just a dumb mud puddle. 38 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:42,120 Discount Lion Safari! 39 00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:56,050 Hey! These aren't my pills. 40 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:59,179 Now, now, Mr. Simmons, don't make me call Nurse Bronski. 41 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,306 That's Simpson, damn it, 42 00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:02,974 and these aren't my pills! 43 00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:05,643 Excuse me, nurse. My name is Simmons, 44 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,437 and I think I have the wrong pills. 45 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,856 I get two red ones for my back spasms, 46 00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:11,774 a yellow one for my arrhythmia, 47 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,152 and two of the bluest eyes 48 00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:17,113 I've ever seen in my life. 49 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,948 Then these must be... 50 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,325 And I have your... 51 00:03:20,408 --> 00:03:21,928 - They must have... - They must have... 52 00:03:34,088 --> 00:03:36,257 Look at us. We're staring at each other 53 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:39,761 like a couple of stupid, punk teenagers. 54 00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:41,054 I wasn't staring. 55 00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:43,389 It's, my lazy eye. 56 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:46,517 I'm Beatrice Simmons, but my friends call me Bea. 57 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:49,395 Well, I'm Abraham J. Simpson. 58 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:52,232 Care to tip the wrist with me? 59 00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:54,275 I would be delighted. 60 00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:56,402 So, um... 61 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:59,572 tell me about yourself. 62 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:03,201 Widower, one son, one working kidney. And you? 63 00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:05,787 Widowed, bad hip, and liver disorder. 64 00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,622 You left something out. 65 00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:08,831 Ravishing. 66 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,259 Num-num-num-num num-num-num-num. 67 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:20,468 Num-num-num-num. 68 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,814 And what are you doing tonight? 69 00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:34,607 Sitting alone in my room. 70 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,985 Well, if you've got plans already... 71 00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:38,653 No. What were you going to say? 72 00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:40,363 - Nothing. - Abe. 73 00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:42,573 You were going to say something. 74 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:45,034 Well, I was wondering if you and I, 75 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:49,080 you know, might go to the same place at the same time, and... 76 00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:51,207 Jeez, you think this would get easier with time! 77 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,418 I'd love to. 78 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:56,421 ♪ Taxi, honey ♪ 79 00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,590 ♪ Half past three ♪ 80 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:00,842 Okay. 81 00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:03,386 Now where's that pomade? 82 00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:06,347 "You'll never fly solo again." Ooh! 83 00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:10,435 Damn, out of pomade. 84 00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:11,936 Well. 85 00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:19,944 Ooh, hello, young lady. 86 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,071 Is your grandmother home? 87 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:26,326 Abe, I can tell I better keep my good eye on you. 88 00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:28,286 Damn straight. 89 00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:31,331 ♪♪ 90 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,999 ♪ Embrace me ♪ 91 00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:37,045 ♪ My sweet embraceable you ♪ 92 00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:41,299 ♪ Embrace me ♪ 93 00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:45,428 ♪ You irreplaceable you ♪ 94 00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:49,640 ♪ Don't be a naughty baby ♪ 95 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,351 ♪ Come to papa ♪ 96 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:55,772 ♪ Come to papa-do ♪ 97 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:58,066 ♪ My sweet ♪ 98 00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:01,402 ♪ Embraceable ♪ 99 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:05,698 ♪ You ♪ 100 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:10,453 Herman, a very special lady is having her birthday tomorrow. 101 00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:12,538 The battleship "New Jersey." 102 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:15,291 No, you idiot! My girlfriend Bea. 103 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,543 And since this is the only store I know... 104 00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:20,129 Grampa, nothing says "I love you" better 105 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,131 than a military antique. 106 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,050 Let's take a look at the bayonet case? 107 00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,302 Hey, what's that? 108 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,638 That, my friend, was Napoleon's hat. 109 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,598 It doesn't look like Napoleon's hat. 110 00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:31,974 Well, it's not the famous hat. 111 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,977 It's the one he wore for a week in April, 1796 112 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,580 just before he defeated the Sardinians. 113 00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:38,398 Ooh, how much? 114 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,608 - $400. - I'll give you five bucks. 115 00:06:40,691 --> 00:06:42,777 That's not the kind of offer you should make to a man 116 00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,862 with a Gatling gun under the counter. 117 00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:46,948 Why don't you try Grandma's World? 118 00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:50,701 Yo, active wear. I need a price check on a wool shawl. 119 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,498 Dad, it's the third Sunday of the month. 120 00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:56,707 You know what that means. 121 00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:59,252 - Go away! - Come on, Dad. 122 00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:02,547 I promise we'll have more fun this time. We're gonna see lions! 123 00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:05,591 I can't go. It's my girlfriend Bea's birthday. 124 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:09,429 You have a girlfriend. 125 00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:14,225 Well, happy birthday, Bea. 126 00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:16,018 She can come with us. 127 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:19,272 Hey, there's room for all your friends in the car. 128 00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:21,441 No! She's not invisible, you idiot! 129 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:22,817 See? It's her birthday tonight. 130 00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,193 Yeah, right. 131 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,154 Hey! You kids, stop kicking the seat. 132 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,530 I'm kicking the seat. 133 00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,699 Dad, don't you want to know where we're going? 134 00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:33,369 - No. - Discount Lion Safari! 135 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,746 Damn these child-proof doors. 136 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:42,879 - Hello. - That will be 18.50, partner. 137 00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:44,130 "Do not feed animals." 138 00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:46,132 "Do not allow animals in the car." 139 00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:48,468 "Do not make eye contact with animals." 140 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,761 Are we in Africa yet? 141 00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:54,474 Did anybody notice this place sucks? 142 00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,160 It seems that most of the animals are sleeping. 143 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:57,704 Well, let them sleep on their own time. 144 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,569 Homer, are you sure this is the right way? 145 00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:08,613 The road seems to have gotten awfully bumpy. 146 00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:15,786 What a wingding. This is much better 147 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,372 than my girlfriend's birthday party. 148 00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:20,208 -Homer -Bart, get out and push. 149 00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:21,310 Yeah, Bart. Get out and push. 150 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,627 No way, Jose. 151 00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:24,462 Okay, we've seen the lions. 152 00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:26,297 Can we go now? 153 00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:44,774 Bea! 154 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,116 Mr. Simpson, I presume. 155 00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:00,706 Out of my way. I got a date with an angel. 156 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,792 You don't know how right you are, Abe. 157 00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:05,294 - What? - I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, 158 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:09,006 but... Bea passed away last night. 159 00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:11,259 No. 160 00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:12,802 It was her ticker. 161 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,512 The doc said her left ventricle burst. 162 00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:17,223 No, Jasper. 163 00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:20,476 They may say she died of a burst ventricle, 164 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:24,981 but I know she died of a broken heart. 165 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:34,782 I can tell she really cared for me. 166 00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:37,118 She didn't make me a pallbearer. 167 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:42,582 I can't tell you how sorry I am, Dad. 168 00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:45,585 Is someone talking to me? I didn't hear anything. 169 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:49,005 No, Dad's lost his hearing! 170 00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:51,966 No, you idiot, I'm ignoring you! 171 00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:54,135 You made me miss the last precious moments 172 00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:55,636 of Bea's life. 173 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,264 I'll never speak to you again! 174 00:09:58,347 --> 00:10:01,809 I have no son! 175 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,649 Bea. 176 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,951 It was a beautiful service, wasn't it, Mr. Simpson? 177 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,536 Who the hell are you? 178 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,580 Lionel Hutts, Attorney at Law. 179 00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:24,832 I'm the executor of Beatrice Simmons' estate. 180 00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:26,876 Mr. Simpson, Bea was a wealthy woman, 181 00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:30,546 and, surprise, surprise, she left everything to you. 182 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,215 - Really? - There is one catch. 183 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:36,886 You must spend one night in a haunted house. 184 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,888 Just kidding, just kidding. 185 00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:42,767 Here's a check for $106,000 186 00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:45,519 "To enjoy as you see fit." 187 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:46,729 I'm touched. 188 00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:48,981 $106,000? 189 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,775 Ta-ta, Mr. Simpson. 190 00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:52,860 By the way, old-timer, I do wills. 191 00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:56,155 Why don't I just give you this pen with my phone number on it. 192 00:10:56,238 --> 00:10:59,075 It looks just like a cigar. Isn't that something? 193 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:00,409 Hello. 194 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,662 - Hello, Homer? - Whoo-hoo! It's Dad! 195 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,497 Dad's on the phone, he's calling me! 196 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:07,792 Dad, I knew you'd forgive me. 197 00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,669 I haven't forgiven you. 198 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:15,966 I just inherited $106,000, and I just had to tell you 199 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,260 that you're not getting one thin dime! 200 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,721 - Ha-ha! - D' 201 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,723 - Mr. Simpson? - What is it? 202 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:26,102 I couldn't help overhearing about your new-found fortune, 203 00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:29,188 and let me assure you that here at the Springfield Retirement Castle, 204 00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:30,981 money does make a difference. 205 00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,567 I mean, there are rubdowns, 206 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,695 and then there are rubdowns. 207 00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:40,116 Listen, you bloodsucker, has it ever occurred to you 208 00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:43,160 that old folks deserve to be treated like human beings 209 00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,287 whether they have money or not? 210 00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:46,956 Yes, but it passes. 211 00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:49,959 You lousy son of a... 212 00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:51,627 I'll take it. 213 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,547 Hey, big spender, why the change of heart? 214 00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:57,133 Bea told me to enjoy my moolah, 215 00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:59,593 and I'm going to, dagnabit! 216 00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:02,680 Yeah. 217 00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:03,763 Yeah. 218 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,893 So, where to, pappy? 219 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,103 Take me someplace fun. 220 00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:10,271 You're the boss. 221 00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:11,647 Next stop... Funsville. 222 00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:16,110 Ayah. 223 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,780 Ayah. 224 00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:24,702 Ayah. 225 00:12:28,664 --> 00:12:30,791 I miss Bea. 226 00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:32,001 I miss you too. 227 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:37,715 Abraham, calm down. I'm not here to scare you. 228 00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:39,633 They've got me haunting a family in Texas. 229 00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:43,387 I'm glad you're keeping busy. 230 00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:48,058 Now listen Abe. I want to know why my money isn't bringing you happiness? 231 00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:51,520 Bea, I'm not cut out for the high life. 232 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,106 Abraham, if you're not happy with the money, 233 00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:56,108 why don't you spread it around? 234 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:59,028 Make other people as happy as you made me. 235 00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:01,947 Thanks, Bea, I will. 236 00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:04,200 And go see your son. He misses you. 237 00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:07,953 I miss him, too, the big, fat Dickens. 238 00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:10,956 Hey, Bea, I've got to ask you. 239 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,751 What was death like? 240 00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:16,086 Not as scary as this! 241 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:21,383 I miss my Daddy. 242 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,636 Homer, this thing with your Dad 243 00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:25,971 has had you moping around the house for days. 244 00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:29,558 I think it's time for you to talk to someone who understands. 245 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:34,021 Hiya. You've reached Doctor Marvin Monroe's anxiety line. 246 00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:35,481 If you have a sullen teenager, 247 00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:36,941 press one now. 248 00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:40,152 If you're estranged from your spouse, press two, now. 249 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,904 If you have trouble maintaining an... 250 00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:43,447 Grampa! 251 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,741 - Dad! - Sonny boy! 252 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,121 Is there room at your table for a foolish old man? 253 00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:53,290 Well, sure. 254 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:56,836 We'll have to move a chair in from the den, but it's no problem. 255 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,004 - Bart! - Choose your corn cob. 256 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,172 En garde. 257 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,632 Challenge accepted. 258 00:14:01,715 --> 00:14:05,469 All my precious stacks of gold... 259 00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,764 couldn't buy me the pleasures of a simple family meal. 260 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,057 Pass the bug juice, Dad. 261 00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:11,725 Wait your turn, you pig. 262 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:14,270 I have an announcement to make. 263 00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:17,314 I've decided to give Bea's money away. 264 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,191 There are people who really need it. 265 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,943 I'm gonna let them come to me 266 00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:23,028 and plead their case, and then I'll decide 267 00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,864 who needs it most. 268 00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:26,424 Grampa, that's the noblest thought that's 269 00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:28,534 ever been expressed at this table. 270 00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:31,871 - Give it to us, Grampa. - Bart! Forgive him, Dad. 271 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,622 He's just a stupid little kid, 272 00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:36,375 who says the first thing that pops into his head, 273 00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:38,711 but you know, there's wisdom in his innocence. 274 00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:40,296 - You don't want it. - Yes, I do. 275 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:41,922 Too bad, you ain't gettin' it. 276 00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:45,926 Not since this reporter's marriage 277 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,137 to Stephanie the Weather lady, 278 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:52,057 has this town been so consumed with rumor and innuendo... 279 00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:53,767 all because of this man. 280 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:56,562 Today, one Abraham "Grampa" Simpson 281 00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:59,273 announced that he will give away over $100,000 282 00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:02,693 to the person or persons he finds most deserving. 283 00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:07,156 Is Grampa Simpson a modern day saint, a rich nut, or both? 284 00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:08,991 Only time will tell. 285 00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,451 This is Kent Brockman, 286 00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:13,162 on line for an old man's money. 287 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:16,457 You see, Gramp, I want to customize the bus. 288 00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:17,958 You know, chop the top 289 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,585 jack it up, put mag wheels on it, 290 00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:22,713 psychedelic paint job from hell, man. 291 00:15:22,796 --> 00:15:26,008 Jam the kids to school at 150 miles an hour. 292 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,426 Here's an artist's rendering. 293 00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:30,638 Note the cobra wrapped around the naked chick. 294 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,556 - Next. - Duh... 295 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:36,018 Grampa... I can call you "Grampa," can't I? 296 00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:37,478 Yeah, yeah, go ahead. 297 00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:40,064 Alright. I need that money. Please. Please! 298 00:15:40,147 --> 00:15:41,857 Wait a minute. Wait. 299 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,652 You're that guy who owns the nuclear power plant. 300 00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:45,962 Well, the ownership is divided. 301 00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:47,738 What the hell do you think you are doing? 302 00:15:47,821 --> 00:15:49,615 Mr. Simpson, I dread the day 303 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:52,326 when $100,000 isn't worth groveling for. 304 00:15:52,409 --> 00:15:54,244 Get out of here! 305 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:58,457 You just made yourself a very powerful enemy, old man. 306 00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:00,501 Here's the deal, Grampa. 307 00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:05,172 A guy I think was an explorer left this in the bar one night. 308 00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:06,757 It may be a map to ancient treasure, 309 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,884 or directions to some guy's house, 310 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,552 but to find out, we'll need money, 311 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:13,847 we'll need provisions, and a two-man diving bell. 312 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:15,766 It's pretty stupid, 313 00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:18,352 but so far, you're the front-runner. 314 00:16:18,435 --> 00:16:20,896 It's a special isolation chamber. 315 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,774 The subject pulls levers to receive food and warmth. 316 00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:25,776 The floor can become electrified, 317 00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:29,113 and showers of icy water randomly fall on the subject. 318 00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:31,115 I call it the "Monroe Box." 319 00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:34,410 Well, it sounds interesting. 320 00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,328 How much will it cost to build? 321 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:38,580 That's the beauty part. It's already built. 322 00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:41,291 I need the money to buy a baby to raise in the box 323 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:43,836 - until the age of 30. - What are you trying to prove? 324 00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:47,047 My theory is that the subject will be socially maladjusted 325 00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:49,800 and will harbor a deep resentment towards me. 326 00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:51,677 Interesting. 327 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,387 Let's see. I want a tear gas pen, 328 00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:56,473 - a blow gun with paralyzer darts... - No. 329 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,017 - Nunchakus. - Nunchakus? 330 00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,601 - Yeah. - What the hell are those? 331 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,770 A copy of "Radioactive Man, #27." 332 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,373 That's the first time he fights Dr. Crab. 333 00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,524 And I wanna buy that baseball card 334 00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:07,067 where the guy's flipping the bird. 335 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,610 Yeah, I've seen that one. 336 00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:09,778 And a monkey. 337 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,364 What the hell is that? 338 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,074 Why, it's a death ray, my good man. 339 00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:15,159 Behold. 340 00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:17,911 Hey, feels warm. 341 00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,329 Kind of nice. 342 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,290 Well, it is just the prototype. 343 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,375 With proper funding, I'm confident this little baby 344 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:26,045 could destroy an area the size of New York City. 345 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,338 But I want to help people, not kill them. 346 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:33,052 Well, to be honest, the ray only has evil applications. 347 00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:34,970 You know, my wife will be happy. 348 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:38,015 She's hated this whole death ray thing from day one. 349 00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:43,395 Lisa, what makes you think you deserve all that money? 350 00:17:43,479 --> 00:17:46,607 I don't deserve it, Grampa. No one here does. 351 00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:48,734 The people who deserve it are on the streets 352 00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,444 and they're in the slums. 353 00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:53,572 They're little children who need more library books 354 00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:56,450 and families who can't make ends meet. 355 00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:58,077 Of course, if you really wanted to, 356 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,287 - you could buy me a pony. - You're right. 357 00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:02,182 I'll name her Princess and I'll ride her every day. 358 00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:04,833 No, you're right about all the poor souls 359 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,710 who need a helping hand. 360 00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:09,213 I need to take a walk to clear my head. 361 00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:14,134 Dear. 362 00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:23,727 I'm exhausted. 363 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:24,937 Poor baby. 364 00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:26,480 Been lifting your wallet? 365 00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:28,315 No! I'll have you know 366 00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:32,319 I've decided to give my money away to truly needy causes. 367 00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:35,614 But $100,000 just isn't enough. 368 00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:37,324 I need more. 369 00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:40,452 Well, why don't you go on the seniors' gambling junket? 370 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:43,080 I bet you could double your money or even triple it. 371 00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:44,498 Well, it's tempting. 372 00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:46,750 Plus, they got a 99¢ shrimp cocktail. 373 00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:47,835 You sold me. 374 00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:51,130 Slow down. 375 00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:52,673 Are you trying to get us killed? 376 00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:55,467 It's too hot, ya' maniac! Turn on the air already! 377 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,469 Hey, mellow out, old dudes, 378 00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:01,723 or I'll jam this baby into a river, all right? 379 00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:06,395 Miss, I'm looking for Abe Simpson. 380 00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:08,397 It's important I get a hold of him. 381 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,482 I have to tell him I don't care about his money 382 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:11,817 and I love him. 383 00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,443 We get that a lot. 384 00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:15,696 He left with the senior casino junket. 385 00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:17,322 Casino? 386 00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:22,161 Come on, everybody! 387 00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:34,339 Hello, I am Plato. 388 00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:38,385 Please partake of keno, craps, and the loosest slots in town. 389 00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:41,680 My philosophy is "enjoy." 390 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,225 Change, please. 391 00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:52,625 A double cheeseburger, onion rings, large strawberry shake, 392 00:19:52,649 --> 00:19:55,152 and, for God sakes, hurry. 393 00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:57,946 $5,000 on... 394 00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,615 - What century is this? - The 20th. 395 00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:00,949 Great! Put it on #20. 396 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,659 Excuse me. 397 00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,095 Excuse me, have you seen an old man with a lot of money? 398 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:05,471 He looks like me, but he's wrinkled. 399 00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:08,040 Hello. Have you seen a... Dad! 400 00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:11,460 No! 401 00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,212 20 black. 402 00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:16,131 - Holy moly. You're winning. - All mine, all mine. 403 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,008 Beat it, boy. You're cramping my style. 404 00:20:18,091 --> 00:20:19,968 Dad, please, you gotta quit while you're ahead. 405 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,803 You got to take your money and leave, now. 406 00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:24,389 Sorry, boy. I have to get enough to help everybody. 407 00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,516 But you could lose everything. Come on! 408 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:30,687 Homer, I think Rudyard Kipling said it best. 409 00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:34,608 "If you can make one heap of all your winnings 410 00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:38,570 "and risk it on one turn of pitch and toss, and lose, 411 00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:41,531 "and start again at your beginnings 412 00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:45,285 "and never breathe a word about your loss, 413 00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:49,998 "yours is the Earth and everything that's in it. 414 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:55,003 And, which is more, you'll be a man, my son." 415 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,172 You'll be a bonehead. Come on. 416 00:20:57,256 --> 00:21:00,300 Put it all on 41. I've got a feeling about that number. 417 00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:01,843 The wheel only goes to 36, sir. 418 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,929 Okay, put it all on 36. 419 00:21:04,012 --> 00:21:05,114 I've got a feeling about that number. 420 00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:08,183 Dad! No! Give me that money. 421 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,227 Come on. Stop it. 422 00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:11,645 You're hurting me! 423 00:21:11,728 --> 00:21:13,146 - Thirty-six! - No more bets. 424 00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:17,818 Son, if this lands on 36, I'll... 425 00:21:17,901 --> 00:21:19,278 Double zero. 426 00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:23,198 Son, you saved me from losing all my money. 427 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:26,576 For the first time in my life, I'm glad I had children. 428 00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:30,706 So, have you figured out who gets the money? 429 00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:41,174 Yes, Homer, I have. 430 00:21:54,187 --> 00:21:55,439 Come on in. 431 00:21:55,522 --> 00:21:58,442 Dignity's on me, friends. 432 00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:05,574 ♪♪ 433 00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:50,744 Shh! 434 00:22:54,164 --> 00:22:57,084 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.