1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:06,298 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:09,967 {\an8}Simpson, you're brand-new here, 3 00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:13,304 {\an8}but I have a nose for men, and you stink of reliability. 4 00:00:13,305 --> 00:00:15,807 {\an8}I'm putting you in charge of the big red button. 5 00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:17,975 {\an8}I won't let you down, sir. 6 00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:22,480 {\an8}I smell you won't. Never touch the button, unless the meltdown alarm sounds. 7 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,608 {\an8}Then, and only then, push the button. 8 00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:26,984 {\an8}[machinery powers down] 9 00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:28,486 {\an8}[workers clamoring] 10 00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:32,865 {\an8}Sorry, you can understand this is very exciting for me. I mean, a button! 11 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,242 {\an8}[chuckling] Of course. 12 00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:38,246 {\an8}While our schools and hospitals go without power during the costly restart process, 13 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:40,081 {\an8}remember: no alarm, no button. 14 00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:41,582 {\an8}[machinery powers down] 15 00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:42,959 {\an8}[all groaning] Aw. 16 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,337 {\an8}I will never get tired of this. 17 00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:49,465 {\an8}[alarm ringing] 18 00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:52,760 {\an8}[groaning] 19 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,846 {\an8}[ringing continues] 20 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,522 {\an8}Lenny, button! 21 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:06,316 {\an8}[Lenny grumbles] 22 00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:12,321 [both] State park, family field trip! 23 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:13,615 [groans] 24 00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,909 [both] State park, state park, state park! 25 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,621 Don't forget sunscreen and bug spray. 26 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:22,790 [coughs] 27 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:26,377 - [straining] State park. State park. - [straining] State park. State park. 28 00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:27,628 [both groan] 29 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:30,923 [groans] I worked all week at the world's most boring job, 30 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:33,175 and now I have to spend time in the natural world 31 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,386 that I devoted my life to destroy. 32 00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:38,139 You're the one who suggested a family outing. 33 00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:40,934 What part of that implied I was coming? 34 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,147 I can hear the waterfall. 35 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:52,236 There it is in all its majestic glory. The stamp station! 36 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,780 Oh, yeah. 37 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:55,281 [Bart chuckles] 38 00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,782 [both sigh] 39 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,576 Nine more stamps to go. 40 00:01:58,577 --> 00:02:00,746 Then we'll have all the stamps. 41 00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,373 [groans] 42 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:08,462 Weekends are for relaxing. How am I supposed to do that here at... 43 00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:10,755 {\an8}Shut up. 44 00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:14,842 In the olden days, a bootlegger was a shady character-- 45 00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:16,428 You're blocking the stamps, lady. 46 00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:22,516 What are you looking at instead of being present with your family? 47 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:26,771 Really? Cross sections of breakfast burritos? 48 00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:30,108 I was ranking those. Now I have to start over. 49 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:34,905 [bell jingles] 50 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,782 Look, we got every stamp. 51 00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:38,908 What's our prize? 52 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:41,911 You get your Wilderness Explorer Completion Trophy. 53 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,163 {\an8}Good job. 54 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:46,208 {\an8}Certified trailblazers. 55 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:52,254 Mom, can we get souvenirs so we have something to remember this trip by? 56 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,465 One souvenir each. 57 00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:58,886 [groans] The gift shop. This is where time goes to die. 58 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:02,556 Can't you fake a little enthusiasm for five minutes? 59 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:04,684 I can't pretend to like things I don't. 60 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,728 You do it all the time. It's called parenting. 61 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,691 Huh? Well, I do like lying to children. 62 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:15,862 [Homer] Activate parent superpower, fake enthusiasm. 63 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:17,822 {\an8}Mmm? 64 00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:23,412 I know which souvenir I'd pick out if I wanted to have fun. Stress balls! 65 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,330 Oh, oh! 66 00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:30,960 I can feel the stress leaving my body. Tell me that's not medically fun. 67 00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:35,756 It does have a therapeutic property we doctors call squishiness. 68 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:39,594 Business lady. Business got you stressed? Have a squeeze of this. 69 00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:42,847 Excuse me, miss. 70 00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:45,850 What happened to the woman who was standing here just a moment ago? 71 00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:47,476 Was that your mother? 72 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:50,229 No, it's me all along. 73 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:53,774 Is there anything these balls can't do? 74 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,484 Dad, can we get stress balls? 75 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,569 Please? 76 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,864 What a great idea. Hurry, do it quick. 77 00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:01,949 [clamoring] 78 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,868 {\an8}- He sold me. - He sold me more. 79 00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:07,413 Arriba! Ándale, stress! Adios! 80 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:10,291 [vocalizing] 81 00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:13,295 Most intriguing. 82 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:16,088 [doorbell rings] 83 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,049 Dad, there's a creepy guy in a raincoat who wants to talk to you. 84 00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:21,594 Well, run him off. What do I pay you for? 85 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:24,388 Wait, please, I have two words to say to you. 86 00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:27,767 {\an8}Oh, yeah! 87 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,518 Duffman! 88 00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:30,936 Not anymore, actually. 89 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:35,107 The Duff Corporation has, uh, retired that character forever. 90 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:39,779 All the old forms of advertising are now passé. 91 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,782 Corporate spokesmen, print ads, TV spots. 92 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,909 Today's kids, they can't even sing the jingles. 93 00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,702 That can't be true. 94 00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,370 Boy, finish this tune. 95 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,456 ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪ 96 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,625 ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow... ♪ 97 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:53,834 Woof? 98 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,711 God help us. 99 00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:58,088 The old ways are dead. 100 00:04:58,089 --> 00:05:01,467 Today, advertising is all about undercover marketing, 101 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:04,178 where the spontaneity of a regular person's excitement 102 00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:07,181 is worth a thousand "Where's the beefs?" 103 00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:09,683 [laughs] Where was that beef? 104 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:15,689 And undercover marketing is exactly what you did yesterday in that gift shop. 105 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:18,776 All I did was pretend to love some stupid, terrible crap. 106 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:23,073 Homer, you have a gift, and corporate America needs you. 107 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,826 {\an8}[Lisa] "Enthusiasm on Demand." 108 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:30,412 You pretend to like things to make other people buy them? 109 00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:34,917 It's the world's newest profession offering love for money. 110 00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:37,962 You could make $500 in just one hour. 111 00:05:37,963 --> 00:05:41,716 As a late great man once said, "Oh, yeah!" 112 00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:44,553 [tires screech] 113 00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:48,390 {\an8}Mmm? 114 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,517 {\an8}"Welcome to your first enthusi-task. 115 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,770 {\an8}Convince people to buy a self-balancing unicycle." 116 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:59,567 {\an8}Hmm... If I can find just the right group of potential customers. 117 00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:04,822 {\an8}Hope dims for the trapped miners as faith leaders conduct a moment of silence. 118 00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:08,409 {\an8}Look at me if you want to see a guy having the time of his life. 119 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:11,120 {\an8}- [giggles] - [crowd cheers] 120 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:14,582 {\an8}We gathered here today in hopes of a miracle, and we got one. 121 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:19,003 {\an8}A self-balancing unicycle sure to be on everyone's Christmas list. 122 00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,963 {\an8}[cheering] 123 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:23,842 {\an8}[♪ eerie jingle plays] 124 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:29,763 Homer S. may be the key to completing Project Dark Contrivance. Praise Enroy. 125 00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:33,976 Praise Enroy! Praise him indeed. 126 00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:37,188 {\an8}You over-praised Enroy. No malted treat for you. 127 00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:40,816 {\an8}[♪ discordant chord plays] 128 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:46,406 {\an8}[♪ eerie jingle plays] 129 00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:56,248 Marge, this veggie omelet is delicious! I don't miss the bacon or sausage at all! 130 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,834 I'm so glad to hear that. 131 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:03,005 Or are you just practicing for your new job of pretending to like things? 132 00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:05,841 Nope. It's that good. 133 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,635 Why, thank you. 134 00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:11,264 [humming] 135 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,099 It's great you're enjoying your side hustle, 136 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,769 but I hope you're not neglecting your front hustle. 137 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,145 Oh, I quit that job. 138 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,438 [laughs] 139 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,524 I should be furious that you're leaving with no notice, 140 00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:27,071 but your sincere enthusiasm for taking this job and shoving it has won me over. 141 00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:28,989 Consider it shoved. 142 00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:30,658 I'm just too good at my new job. 143 00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,744 I've already sold pilgrim hats, creatine snuff, 144 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:35,579 and this great ear de-waxer. 145 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:39,541 [giggling] 146 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:43,921 I bet there's nothing so distasteful this guy can't pretend to like it. 147 00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,339 - [cell phone dings] - Ooh. 148 00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:49,718 Here's my next assignment. I'm promoting... 149 00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:53,181 No, no, anything but that! 150 00:07:56,351 --> 00:08:01,314 Drink up. Quality bowling requires some boozing to beat the heebie-hoohaws. 151 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:06,695 None for me. I've found something... [gags] ...better. 152 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,737 UnDuff Nothin'. 153 00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:11,990 A new non-alcoholic beer that'll make you forget 154 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:14,910 all those times you were blackout drunk. 155 00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:19,248 Non-alcoholic beer? That could lead to non-alcoholism. 156 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:22,419 Don't take my unslurred word for it. Chug it for yourself. 157 00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:25,672 Well, I know you socially, so I'm sold. 158 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,426 {\an8}[♪ tense music plays] 159 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,847 [grunts] No, I can't do it. 160 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:40,102 Too much! You ask too much! 161 00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:44,106 Tell me to sell time-shares to toddlers, but not this! 162 00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:45,607 [phone rings] 163 00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,901 {\an8}Report to corporate at 9:00 tomorrow. 164 00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,361 {\an8}And give yourself time. 165 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,906 {\an8}You'll be parking very far from the building. 166 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:56,494 {\an8}No! 167 00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:03,001 [♪ eerie jingle playing] 168 00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:12,676 Inspiring, aren't they? They promote corporate efflorescence, praise Enroy. 169 00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:15,262 [Homer] Nothing concerning so far. 170 00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:17,014 Salutations, Homer. 171 00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:21,436 {\an8}Your diligence and co-operability has earned you these chocolate-covered bees. 172 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,523 Mmm, "sting-y." 173 00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,984 I'm really sorry I couldn't fake-like fake beer. 174 00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:31,361 {\an8}Homer, sanguinate yourself. 175 00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:36,033 {\an8}Eventually, every enthusiaster is called to love a product they simply cannot. 176 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:40,621 You're the unfortunate victim of your personality's likes and dislikes. 177 00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,539 Stupid personality. 178 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:45,709 But we've developed a simple procedure that separates you 179 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:48,462 from the tastes and desires that make you you. 180 00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,714 We call it "seperance." 181 00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,174 Praise Enroy. 182 00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:56,261 This Enroy dude sure seems praiseworthy. 183 00:09:56,262 --> 00:10:00,599 After seperance, you will never again be disjoyous at work. 184 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:04,978 That's been my dream ever since I grew weary of the big red button. 185 00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:07,064 But what exactly is this procedure? 186 00:10:07,065 --> 00:10:08,149 I can answer that. 187 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:13,112 I have no idea, but I have had the procedure myself, 188 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:16,240 and look at how happy I am. 189 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,158 Happy. 190 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,244 Why don't we get you started? 191 00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,747 [♪ eerie jingle playing] 192 00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:27,168 [whimpering] 193 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:31,381 [Homer] Nothing concerning so far. 194 00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:35,385 [♪ eerie music plays] 195 00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:38,137 - [elevator bell dings] - [elevator announcer] Seperance floor. 196 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:41,765 [♪ "Song 2" plays] 197 00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:45,435 ♪ Whoo-hoo! I am surgically happy ♪ 198 00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:46,896 ♪ Whoo-hoo ♪ 199 00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:49,189 ♪ That is me on my ID ♪ 200 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:50,899 ♪ Whoo-hoo ♪ 201 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,943 ♪ Hey, look, a weird doppelgänger ♪ 202 00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:54,528 ♪ Whoo-hoo ♪ 203 00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:55,779 - [♪ song ends] - Whoo-hoo! 204 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:56,989 Whoo-hoo! 205 00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:00,242 There he is, Homer S., our brilliant team leader. 206 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:03,162 Thanks to him, our department is number A again. 207 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,747 Look, they awarded us a walnut party. 208 00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,124 [Homer exclaims] Walnuts? 209 00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,002 Mmm. Mmm. 210 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:13,338 Careful with your hat of gratitude. It's the gift of Enroy. 211 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,883 This may just be the hat of gratitude talking, 212 00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:18,635 but I love everything about this place. 213 00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:24,433 The endless corridors, the apology stool, the distant eerie screams. 214 00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:28,479 [person screams in distance] I'm so de-sanguinated! 215 00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:34,818 Hot crackers, new assignment! We're selling payday loans today, people. 216 00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:39,782 60% compounding interest per day? [chuckles] They sell themselves. 217 00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:43,786 [♪ eerie jingle playing] 218 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,460 What have you done to my husband? 219 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:52,961 Tranquilate, Marjorie. 220 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:55,715 {\an8}Have a pickled blueberry, and exposify the problem. 221 00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:58,967 Mm, these are well-pickled. 222 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:01,720 Every night when my husband comes home from working here, 223 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:05,015 he's like a different person, a total zombie. 224 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:09,687 [groaning] 225 00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:17,402 Seperance splits the worker's mind into two modes. 226 00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:20,322 Uppie, when all their energy is devoted to work, 227 00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:24,534 and downie, when they recharge at home for the next workday. 228 00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:27,704 I don't wanna spend my life with a downie. 229 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:30,707 I have the perfect solution. Join our company. 230 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,668 Undergo seperance yourself. 231 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:35,170 You have got to be kidding me. 232 00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:39,424 Got I? Working here with your husband, your relationship will be new again. 233 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,009 Like when you first met, 234 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:44,764 when your Homer couldn't stand to be away from you for one moment. 235 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:50,936 Marge, is it true? You're gonna come work here with me? Please say yes. 236 00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,397 Homer, slow down. 237 00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:54,898 [laughs] 238 00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:59,403 The only bad part of working here is missing you every second of every day. 239 00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:02,197 Let's live uppily ever after. 240 00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,491 This is the Homer I missed. 241 00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:08,203 There is no happier couple than two uppies. 242 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:13,250 Let's get separated so we can be together forever. 243 00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,420 [♪ eerie jingle playing] 244 00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:24,845 What have I done? What have I done? 245 00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:26,430 [both] ♪ Whoo-hoo! ♪ 246 00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:27,514 [♪ "Song 2" fades out] 247 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:28,891 [♪ eerie music plays] 248 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,601 [♪ whimsical music plays] 249 00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:33,312 W-T-Fudge? 250 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,897 How are we so light on our feet, you ask? 251 00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:40,485 It's these new pillow-soft shoe inserts from Dr. Insteps. 252 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,654 Oh. Maybe I'll pick up a pair. 253 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,573 [♪ eerie music plays] 254 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,826 [♪ conga music plays] 255 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,413 [♪ eerie music plays] 256 00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:54,332 {\an8}Another grim vigil here in the mining district. 257 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:58,170 {\an8}The only ray of hope, the aroma of St. Louis-style ribs 258 00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:01,924 {\an8}grilled to savory perfection on the amazing Backpack Barbecue. 259 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,345 Another great day of work. 260 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,764 It's so good to be... 261 00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:12,309 - [♪ eerie music plays] - [groaning] ...home. 262 00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,686 What do you want for dinner? 263 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,439 I don't care. 264 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,652 Mom is eating potato chips for dinner. 265 00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:26,698 Dad's eating potato chips slowly. 266 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,869 [♪ eerie jingle plays] 267 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:36,250 [Homer, Marge groaning] 268 00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:40,837 I've never seen Dad miss a flying sausage in his life. 269 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:44,842 Look at this smiley face Mom drew on my pancakes. 270 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:52,767 That weird mysterious company did something mysteriously weird to them. 271 00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:55,478 [♪ eerie jingle plays] 272 00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,395 [person] Psst! 273 00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:59,564 You'll never get in the front door. 274 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:03,110 Enthusiasm on Demand is hiding a deep, dark secret, 275 00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:07,989 but maybe together we can blow it wide open. 276 00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,574 Don't you work for them? 277 00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:13,120 Not anymore. Being a downie destroyed my life. 278 00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:16,915 I had no energy left for my family, or my secret second family, 279 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,876 but there is a way back from seperance. 280 00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:22,671 It's called de-seperance. 281 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:25,466 It was risky, but I'm feeling great. 282 00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:29,094 Um, whose robe am I wearing, and what year is it? 283 00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:32,347 This whole place is like one of those puzzle box TV shows 284 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:36,476 like The Leftbehinds, or Yellowjinks, or Severance, 285 00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:39,521 and there's always a big secret at the end. 286 00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:42,482 Yeah. If we're going to save your parents and learn the truth, 287 00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:45,695 there's only one way inside that building. 288 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:50,991 Every mysterious headquarters has a door that has been propped open 289 00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:53,619 so someone can sneak out for a smoke. 290 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:55,955 Pallies. 291 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,957 [♪ suspenseful music plays] 292 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,127 [typing] 293 00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:11,512 - [alarm blares] - They're onto us. Follow me. 294 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:19,103 Freeze, and put down the candied squid ink. 295 00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:23,481 You've come here for answers, no doubt, but ask yourself this. 296 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:27,235 Will the answer be as satisfactionalizing as the inquirance? 297 00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:31,324 Damn straight it'll satisfactionalize. We want to see our parents. 298 00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:41,541 - Mom! - Dad! 299 00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:44,836 Kids! What a wonderful surprise. 300 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:48,840 No one told me it was Take Your Kid to Work Day. Oh, joy! 301 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,425 [kissing] 302 00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:53,428 Okay, Tiger. Getting a little damp on top there. 303 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:57,682 Ugh! All we get from our parents is not enough or too much. 304 00:16:57,683 --> 00:17:01,102 {\an8}What's the ominous backstory for this place anyway? 305 00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:04,773 And if it doesn't add up, God help you. 306 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:07,025 Why don't we let our founder explain? 307 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,778 {\an8}Greetings, disciples of Enroy. 308 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:14,157 {\an8}We toil together with a mighty purpose, to harvest the time and energy 309 00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:17,452 of human beings in pursuit of the ultimate prize. 310 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:20,163 Here comes the awful truth. 311 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:23,667 To create a service that can be sold for money. 312 00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:24,918 [all gasp] 313 00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:27,671 Money? Isn't that what every business does? 314 00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,673 Very good, sweetie. 315 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:32,676 This can't just be a regular company. 316 00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:35,845 Why the endless hallways and the creepy kangaroos? 317 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:39,015 Because buildings this poorly designed have inexpensive rent, 318 00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,184 and we get a carbon credit for the kangaroos. 319 00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:42,894 Then who is Enroy? 320 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:48,567 Enroy is not a person. It's an acronym. N.R.O.I. Net return on investment. 321 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,527 Praise Enroy! 322 00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:54,573 You really should praise it, Lisa. It's the basis of capitalism. 323 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,825 Shut your ears, child. They've been seperanced. 324 00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,410 You can't trust them. 325 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:02,290 Our only chance is to remove the implants like I did. 326 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:04,624 [Homer whimpers] 327 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,751 Implants? There are no implants. 328 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:09,838 Then what did I drill out of my skull? 329 00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:13,008 The seperance procedure is just some light cosmetic surgery. 330 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:16,971 Teeth whitening, skin tightening. It makes us more attractive salespeople. 331 00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:20,850 The tin hat protects hair plugs. 332 00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:24,477 No, no, something happened to Mom and Dad. 333 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:28,315 Whenever they're at home, it's like the life has been sucked out of them. 334 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:31,443 Because it has. It's called having a job. 335 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:35,488 You'll learn soon enough, and Enroy willing, Bart will too. 336 00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:39,909 So that's it? You guys have a great time at work, and we get the dried-out husks? 337 00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:43,705 We're your kids. We're supposed to be the ones draining your life force, 338 00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:45,874 not some... [scoffs] ...career. 339 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:49,210 - We need our mom and dad. - We need our mom and dad. 340 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:54,049 But we're so fulfilled. We found our passion in faking passion. 341 00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:56,384 Doesn't our happiness count too? 342 00:18:56,385 --> 00:19:00,388 Maybe we could find some sort of work-life balance. 343 00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:03,683 Marge, we both know that's not a real thing. 344 00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:06,311 [♪ melancholy music plays] 345 00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,188 Okay, kids, you win. 346 00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:11,941 We'll leave our rewarding jobs we're great at, and go back to... 347 00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,568 Oh, I can't say it. 348 00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:15,320 Being parents. 349 00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,571 Yeah. 350 00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:18,239 - Yay! - Yay! 351 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,701 Turn in your badges and hats. 352 00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,121 And your hair plugs. 353 00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:28,918 [grunting] Ow. 354 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,964 [Homer grunting in distance continues] 355 00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:45,559 Yoko geri! Ushiro geri! Mawashi geri! 356 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,021 Konnichi- wow! 357 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:54,150 That's awesome, buddy. You really earned that yellow belt. 358 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,820 You guys are coming to my karate demonstration, right? 359 00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:59,197 I wouldn't miss my little champ's moment 360 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:05,036 even if it was on a Sunday during football, which it always is. 361 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,956 And I made popsicle stick puppets. 362 00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:14,629 You made those? A child? And not some elderly master craftsman? 363 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:17,048 That's so creative. 364 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:22,137 I can't wait to see them in a play with a socially-conscious plotline. 365 00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:27,309 Me neither. Mommy and Daddy will sit in the living room until you're ready. 366 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,730 They weren't faking, were they? 367 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,315 Don't know. Don't care. 368 00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:39,655 - [♪ eerie tone plays] - [groaning] 369 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:53,084 {\an8}[executive] Welcome, valued new employee, to Enthusiasm on Demand. 370 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:56,755 {\an8}Whether you're joining our team in Macro-Gerontics, Sonic Massage, 371 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:59,591 {\an8}Intimation and Foreshadowing, or Bricks, 372 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:02,135 {\an8}we know this is the last job you will ever have. 373 00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:04,888 {\an8}By now you've received your Employee Manual, 374 00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:07,515 {\an8}a Welcome Tetrahedron, and galoshes. 375 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:10,351 {\an8}Inside the tetrahedron, you'll find your parking pass, 376 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:13,605 {\an8}the corporate hymnal, and 17 Polish zloty. 377 00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:16,900 {\an8}Please dispose of the galoshes at your earliest convenience. 378 00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:19,319 {\an8}As you embark on your professional journey, 379 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:23,948 {\an8}lift your voice with me, reciting the joyous words of our founder. 380 00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:29,996 {\an8}Zog sinistrum lamentio, Cthulhu eternum! Praise Enroy! 381 00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:31,081 Shh.