1 00:00:01,135 --> 00:00:02,635 _ 2 00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:04,504 ♪ 3 00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:11,411 [BOTH LAUGHING] 4 00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:13,713 Marge, I love when you grab my butt 5 00:00:13,713 --> 00:00:15,682 with your cold, stiff fingers. 6 00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:18,484 Homie, I'm not touching your butt. 7 00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:20,888 - Ew! - Ew! Ew! Ew! 8 00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:23,423 Save me, Baywatch! 9 00:00:23,456 --> 00:00:26,426 ♪ Ah ♪ 10 00:00:26,459 --> 00:00:31,064 ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah ♪ 11 00:00:31,097 --> 00:00:33,666 [VOCALIZING] 12 00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:42,408 ♪ Hot bodies and murder ♪ 13 00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:48,715 ♪ Rich, sexy people behaving badly ♪ 14 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:53,553 ♪ Makes you feel better about being broke and unknown ♪ 15 00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:57,957 ♪ Symbolic statues and endless brunch ♪ 16 00:00:57,991 --> 00:01:03,563 ♪ How do they eat like that and still look great naked? ♪ 17 00:01:03,596 --> 00:01:08,401 ♪ Are they on O-O-O-Ozempic? ♪ 18 00:01:08,434 --> 00:01:12,605 [VOCALIZING] 19 00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:16,977 - [SEABIRDS SQUAWKING] - [HORN BLOWS] - _ 20 00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:20,113 The Yellow Lotus, a luxury, five-star resort, 21 00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:23,950 has opened its teakwood doors to Springfield's neediest minority: 22 00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:25,685 the wealthy elite. 23 00:01:25,718 --> 00:01:27,887 [CHUCKLING] And in breaking news... 24 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,188 This just in... 25 00:01:29,188 --> 00:01:31,625 my mouth. Mmm! 26 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:34,060 - Mmm! - [HORN BLOWS] 27 00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:40,700 Are you sure this is the timeshare we bought? 28 00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:42,669 It's the exact same address. 29 00:01:42,702 --> 00:01:44,338 We've been paying into it for ten years. 30 00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:48,875 It just seems too good a place for us to have a reservation. 31 00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,213 [SLURPING] 32 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:54,548 Read it and weep. 33 00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:57,784 For joy... 'cause it's good. 34 00:02:00,853 --> 00:02:02,589 - _ - Now, I'm legally forbidden to say 35 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,324 that this is a good investment. 36 00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:06,960 But this is a very good investment. 37 00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:08,295 [GROANS] 38 00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:10,997 Homer, I'm uncomfortable. 39 00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:14,100 The baby's using my womb as a trampoline, 40 00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:15,869 and Consumer Repo says 41 00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:19,539 timeshares are the worst investment in real estate. 42 00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:22,075 Hey, I am not selling you real estate. 43 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,543 I'm selling you something 44 00:02:23,576 --> 00:02:26,012 that is much more valuable than property. 45 00:02:26,045 --> 00:02:27,480 Points. 46 00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:29,616 Hmm. Points, eh? 47 00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:34,054 Points that you can trade in for a dream vacation any time, 48 00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:35,555 except on blackout dates. 49 00:02:35,588 --> 00:02:37,890 Your unborn children will inherit your points. 50 00:02:37,924 --> 00:02:39,292 And your fees. 51 00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:40,961 It's a steal. For me. 52 00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:42,695 Woo-hoo! Why, you! 53 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,233 Yeah, quick question. Is he mooning me? 54 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,669 The baby's behind speaks for us all 55 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:52,739 when it says we should leave now! 56 00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:54,942 Well, of course. You're not prisoners. 57 00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:57,144 But if you leave, you are breaking the law, 58 00:02:57,211 --> 00:03:01,547 and you'll end up in prison unless you sign this contract. 59 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,086 [WHEEZING] 60 00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:09,957 Oh, no. My husband is having a severe allergic reaction. 61 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:13,226 He needs to get to the hospital immediately! 62 00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:15,795 [GRUNTING] 63 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,602 Another free breakfast, 64 00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:24,871 and all I had to do was risk death. 65 00:03:24,904 --> 00:03:26,239 [LAUGHS] Ow. 66 00:03:27,203 --> 00:03:30,543 Homer, I see you eyeing this delicious croquembouche. 67 00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:33,313 85 choux puffs. 68 00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:35,582 You think I would sign a lifetime contract 69 00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:37,784 for a stupid dessert? [LAUGHS] 70 00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:39,152 Never again. 71 00:03:39,185 --> 00:03:41,054 Not after Spectrum cable. 72 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,456 [MAJESTIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS] 73 00:03:44,206 --> 00:03:45,592 My friend, this is America. 74 00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:48,227 Just because you can't possibly afford something 75 00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:50,130 doesn't mean that you can't buy it. 76 00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:54,601 Luxury vacations are not just for the rich and the famous. 77 00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:57,304 They're for average schlubs like you. 78 00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:59,672 - Like me? - Of course! 79 00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:03,410 Homer, what is more important: to feel rich or to be rich? 80 00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:05,178 To be rich! 81 00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:06,312 Guess again. 82 00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:08,148 To feel rich! 83 00:04:08,182 --> 00:04:09,950 Exactly. Now sign. 84 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:13,854 Or don't and commit your family to the worst life of all: 85 00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:16,789 one with nothing to look forward to. 86 00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:21,294 ♪ 87 00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:22,896 [MARGE MOUTHING] 88 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,598 Oh. 89 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,065 You get a free boombox. 90 00:04:26,065 --> 00:04:27,900 - Done! - Oh! 91 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,504 Huh? 92 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,274 But when can we use the timeshare? 93 00:04:35,308 --> 00:04:37,811 [CHUCKLES] The answer to that is... 94 00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:41,615 ♪ Waiting is the hardest part ♪ 95 00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:44,618 ♪ Every day, you see one more... ♪ 96 00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:46,586 [GASPS] The croquembouche! 97 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,889 Homer, you were right. 98 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,690 I can't believe it. 99 00:04:50,723 --> 00:04:52,559 The monthly fees, the maintenance fees, 100 00:04:52,592 --> 00:04:54,927 the fee-calculating fees. 101 00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:57,063 All worth it! 102 00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:58,331 [DOGS GROWLING] 103 00:04:58,331 --> 00:05:01,368 Welcome, Mr. Burns. Mr. Smithers. 104 00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:03,136 Who's a good boy? 105 00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:04,671 [GROWLING] 106 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:07,107 Heel, heel! Stop biting my heel! 107 00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:10,276 These dogs have been working hard and need a vacation. 108 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,811 They need to be pampered, pedicured 109 00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:14,081 and anally expressed twice a day. 110 00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:15,549 Relax the hounds! 111 00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:19,052 Yes, sir. Excuse me. 112 00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:24,158 Everything here is for guests only, 113 00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:26,159 including the view. 114 00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:27,660 [GROANS SOFTLY] 115 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,231 Howdy. 116 00:05:31,297 --> 00:05:32,732 You can't do this to us! 117 00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:34,568 We may not have much money, 118 00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:38,304 but we're rich in what counts around here: points! 119 00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:41,407 Ah, yes, right. Well, that timeshare company 120 00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:43,443 no longer owns this property. 121 00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:46,746 But as a courtesy, we do honor those points. 122 00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:48,881 [MARGE AND HOMER GASP LOUDLY] 123 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,918 I'll see you at checkout. 124 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,154 Mm. 125 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:07,467 This is going to be the most wonderful week of our lives. 126 00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:08,935 [LOUD KNOCKING] 127 00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:11,771 Checkout time. Back away from the minibar. 128 00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:19,546 Uh, excuse me. May I remind you 129 00:06:19,579 --> 00:06:23,817 we have accumulated 450 million points. 130 00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:26,619 Which equals 20 minutes. Your stay is over. 131 00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:30,056 This room now belongs to Dr. and Mrs. Hibbert. 132 00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:33,693 [MARGE GROANS SOFTLY] 133 00:06:35,828 --> 00:06:37,830 Oh, you think you've won, eh? 134 00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:41,168 We are taking the free shampoo! 135 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,470 [GRUNTING] 136 00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:45,104 Stupid shampoo! 137 00:06:45,104 --> 00:06:49,742 Why is everything I want to steal bolted down?! 138 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:54,547 Check... mate. [SCOFFS] 139 00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:57,984 We requested a sober room. No minibar. 140 00:06:57,984 --> 00:07:00,487 My wife has gone a whole year without a drink. 141 00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:02,289 Oh, thank you, Julius. 142 00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:03,890 Please tell everybody. 143 00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,959 I won't mention how you have your nurse 144 00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,161 finish your operations so you can go play golf. 145 00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:09,762 Oops. 146 00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:11,031 [LAUGHS] 147 00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:12,632 [GRUMBLES] Woman. 148 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,071 Don't worry about me. 149 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:21,274 I know how to cope perfectly well without drinking. 150 00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:23,910 I'm so glad I married a doctor. 151 00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:25,945 [MARGE GROANS] 152 00:07:27,831 --> 00:07:29,665 Welcome to the Yellow Lotus. 153 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:32,068 I'm Shauna. You're Tasha. 154 00:07:32,102 --> 00:07:35,404 Yes, I know my name. Usually. 155 00:07:35,438 --> 00:07:37,841 I also ordered a welcome massage. 156 00:07:37,841 --> 00:07:39,843 Not Swedish, shiatsu. 157 00:07:39,843 --> 00:07:42,044 Also, it hurts when I smile. 158 00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:43,980 Can you help? 159 00:07:43,980 --> 00:07:46,349 I love the Yellow Lotus resorts. 160 00:07:46,416 --> 00:07:48,251 So many beautiful bodies. 161 00:07:48,284 --> 00:07:49,786 Especially the dead ones. 162 00:07:49,820 --> 00:07:53,056 Whatever... I can do to help, let me know. 163 00:07:53,089 --> 00:07:56,692 I have three connecting diamond lotus suites. 164 00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:59,396 One for me, one for my husband 165 00:07:59,429 --> 00:08:01,398 and one for my luggage. 166 00:08:01,431 --> 00:08:02,932 [BOAT HORN BLOWING] 167 00:08:02,966 --> 00:08:06,102 That woman's luggage gets a room, but we don't?! 168 00:08:06,102 --> 00:08:08,438 Is this why we defeated the Nazi zombies 169 00:08:08,438 --> 00:08:10,340 in Call of Duty: World at War? 170 00:08:10,373 --> 00:08:12,809 We could sneak into the rich lady's luggage room, 171 00:08:12,842 --> 00:08:14,411 and stay there for a week. 172 00:08:14,444 --> 00:08:16,412 But Mom would never... 173 00:08:16,446 --> 00:08:18,214 We are doing that! 174 00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:21,417 Oh, I love it when you break bad. 175 00:08:21,451 --> 00:08:23,219 Hey, how'd you get the key, boy? 176 00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:26,189 The real question is not how did I get a key, 177 00:08:26,222 --> 00:08:30,293 but how did I get a machine that makes keys? 178 00:08:30,326 --> 00:08:31,661 He's got you there, Marge. 179 00:08:31,694 --> 00:08:33,429 I didn't ask anything. 180 00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:36,399 [EXCITED CHATTER, LAUGHTER] 181 00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:37,734 [BART] Higher! Higher! 182 00:08:37,801 --> 00:08:39,001 Ow! Too high! 183 00:08:39,068 --> 00:08:40,604 [QUIETLY] Marge, come here. 184 00:08:40,670 --> 00:08:42,105 I have to show you something 185 00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,741 that I never dreamed was possible. 186 00:08:44,807 --> 00:08:47,344 There's a TV in the mirror. 187 00:08:47,377 --> 00:08:52,949 It's always been my dream to watch me watching TV. 188 00:08:53,016 --> 00:08:54,083 Wow! 189 00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:57,454 She's got to be the happiest woman in the world. 190 00:08:57,521 --> 00:09:00,056 [TASHA] Oh. You're always leaving me! 191 00:09:00,090 --> 00:09:03,952 Where are you going now? Another secret phone call? 192 00:09:03,987 --> 00:09:05,062 [SIDESHOW BOB] She suspects nothing. 193 00:09:05,095 --> 00:09:08,331 She won't know until the minute my hands are around her neck. 194 00:09:08,398 --> 00:09:10,867 [LAUGHING] 195 00:09:15,939 --> 00:09:18,174 ♪ 196 00:09:21,077 --> 00:09:23,947 We have to warn that poor woman she's in danger! 197 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,815 But we're on vacation. 198 00:09:25,849 --> 00:09:28,385 And Bob's only an attempted murderer. 199 00:09:28,418 --> 00:09:29,852 Attempted. 200 00:09:29,919 --> 00:09:32,121 My ears are burning. 201 00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,459 [ALL] Sideshow Bob! 202 00:09:35,525 --> 00:09:38,261 Hello, Simpsons. Bart. 203 00:09:38,294 --> 00:09:40,463 Don't "Bart" me, man. 204 00:09:40,530 --> 00:09:42,398 What's your evil plan this time? 205 00:09:42,431 --> 00:09:44,334 I might ask the same of you. 206 00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:46,335 I believe you and your sticky-fingered family 207 00:09:46,369 --> 00:09:50,807 are squatting in a luxury suite meant for my wife's luggage. 208 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,676 How do we know you're not just after her money? 209 00:09:53,709 --> 00:09:55,678 Now, Marge, that hurts. 210 00:09:55,711 --> 00:09:57,013 I have my own fortune. 211 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,215 I invented a rake with a collapsible handle. 212 00:09:59,282 --> 00:10:01,350 No more head bonks. 213 00:10:01,417 --> 00:10:04,187 [GRUNTS, LAUGHS, GRUMBLES] 214 00:10:04,221 --> 00:10:06,389 Now, let's see what your options are. 215 00:10:06,423 --> 00:10:08,458 A: You expose my past to my wife 216 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,326 while I get you arrested for trespassing. 217 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:14,430 B: Everyone keeps quiet, and we all enjoy... 218 00:10:16,065 --> 00:10:18,335 [BART] Who am I to judge you, Bob? 219 00:10:18,401 --> 00:10:20,536 Okay. Fine. One week. 220 00:10:20,570 --> 00:10:22,706 But if your wife turns up dead, 221 00:10:22,739 --> 00:10:23,940 even once, 222 00:10:23,973 --> 00:10:25,608 we're calling the cops. 223 00:10:25,675 --> 00:10:28,812 [TASHA] Bob, who are you talking to? 224 00:10:28,845 --> 00:10:30,213 Ah, my pet. [CHUCKLES] 225 00:10:30,246 --> 00:10:31,982 I was just doing vocalizations in the other room 226 00:10:32,015 --> 00:10:33,683 so I wouldn't disturb you. 227 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:34,984 Peas and carrots. Peas and carrots. 228 00:10:35,017 --> 00:10:36,519 Oost, ohst, ost, est, east. 229 00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:38,055 Badagaga, badagaga, badagaga, badagaga. 230 00:10:38,088 --> 00:10:40,123 ♪ La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la. ♪ 231 00:10:40,190 --> 00:10:43,361 Well, I guess we're trusting the psychopath. 232 00:10:43,396 --> 00:10:44,527 Sociopath. 233 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,229 Two distinct diagnoses. 234 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,014 With a slight touch of... 235 00:10:49,048 --> 00:10:51,250 the narcissist. 236 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,287 [GROANING] 237 00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:56,889 [LAUGHING] 238 00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:57,923 [TASHA] Hello. 239 00:10:57,923 --> 00:10:59,059 Oh! [CHUCKLES] 240 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,227 [STAMMERING] Hi. 241 00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:03,295 I see you're reading Barbra. 242 00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,764 Yeah. After I put it in my suitcase, 243 00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:08,234 I had no room for anything else. 244 00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:11,137 I've got the audiobook. 245 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,273 I had to delete all the photos on my phone 246 00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:15,008 so I'd have enough memory. 247 00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:17,677 Who needs my memories when I have Barbra's? 248 00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:19,245 Let's listen together. 249 00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:24,683 - [LISA] You're it! [LAUGHING] - [BART LAUGHING] 250 00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:27,419 [GASPS] 251 00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:32,559 Kids! [QUIETLY] We're trying to be inconspicuous. 252 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:33,759 No problem! 253 00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:35,761 - [QUIETLY] Marco. - [WHISPERS] Polo. 254 00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:37,796 - Marc... - Polo! 255 00:11:40,666 --> 00:11:42,235 You don't belong here. 256 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,603 [GASPS] 257 00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,471 This is an adults-only pool. 258 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,907 The hotel will take these kids off your hands 259 00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:49,642 for the rest of your trip, sir. 260 00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,611 Oh! It's about time. 261 00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:53,546 Thank you! 262 00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:55,214 Polo! [WHOOPS] 263 00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:56,682 - Ah! Jerk! - [OTHERS EXCLAIM] 264 00:11:56,749 --> 00:11:58,384 ♪ 265 00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:03,522 [GULPS] 266 00:12:04,923 --> 00:12:07,026 Excuse me. I don't mean to bother, 267 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,696 but can I please get a vegan option? 268 00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:11,297 What the hell are you doing? 269 00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:14,200 I mean saying "excuse me" and "please." 270 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,002 Rich kids talk like that. 271 00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:17,403 Hello? 272 00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:20,039 Do I have to color in this drawing myself? 273 00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:22,875 Inside the lines, dum-dum! 274 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,677 You'll never blend in, Lis. 275 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,145 [EXHALES] 276 00:12:26,178 --> 00:12:28,014 You call these crudités? 277 00:12:28,047 --> 00:12:29,882 I want farm-to-table. 278 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,117 [ATTENDANT GASPS] 279 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:34,152 _ 280 00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:35,821 Isn't it grand? 281 00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:40,893 Our kids are getting spoiled in a way we could never afford. 282 00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:43,029 Have you noticed something, Homer? 283 00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:45,665 We're the only happy people here. 284 00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:49,903 ♪ 285 00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:52,238 [SLURPING] 286 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,309 Wow. Well, these rich jerks 287 00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:58,611 may not appreciate how good they have it, 288 00:12:58,644 --> 00:13:00,013 but we do. 289 00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:02,481 And we're gonna have it all. 290 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,652 Do you have a masseur for the plus-sized man? 291 00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:10,022 Oh, baby. 292 00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:12,759 I'd like a full-body sage scrub, 293 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,494 seaweed foot mask, 294 00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:15,795 pumpkin face mask, 295 00:13:15,828 --> 00:13:18,063 cedar oil hair mask 296 00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:20,399 and toxin release mud bath. 297 00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:21,934 Ditto. 298 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:24,603 [SIGHS, MOANS] 299 00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:30,610 [LINDSEY] We're clear. 300 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:31,811 [SIGHS] 301 00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:34,147 Finally, I can relax. 302 00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:37,484 [FORTUNE TELLER] Somebody here is going to die. 303 00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:40,153 - Gah! - Who will it be? 304 00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:42,021 The Poisoned Queen? 305 00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:45,158 - The Suffering Toady? - Mm. 306 00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:48,795 Or is it the Hanged Bride? 307 00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:49,929 [GASPS] 308 00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:52,298 - Beware. - Beware? 309 00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:54,567 Is it "existential crisis" beware? 310 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,503 Or is it beware like the egg salad's gone bad? 311 00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:58,511 Oh, don't worry. 312 00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:02,308 These hotel fortune tellers are always fakes. 313 00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:04,677 Mama, we need you in the kitchen, eh? 314 00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:07,880 Just as I predicted. 315 00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:08,921 [SIGHS] Oh. 316 00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:11,617 There's something I'm afraid I have to tell you. 317 00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:12,952 Something bad. 318 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,355 Sounds like I'm gonna need a macaron. 319 00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:17,623 Better take the whole plate. 320 00:14:18,590 --> 00:14:22,629 I think you may be married to a murderous psychopath. 321 00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:23,896 Sociopath. 322 00:14:23,929 --> 00:14:25,164 [SPITS] What? 323 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,832 That's crazy. 324 00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:28,901 Bob married my sister for her money, 325 00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:31,404 and she has way less than you. 326 00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:34,206 Well, I've got an ironclad prenup. 327 00:14:34,273 --> 00:14:35,641 If we get divorced, 328 00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,076 Bob gets no money. 329 00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:38,310 Unless I'm murdered. 330 00:14:38,344 --> 00:14:40,746 But he told me that's just boilerplate. 331 00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:41,881 [PLAYING PIANO] 332 00:14:41,914 --> 00:14:43,550 ♪ Killing her softly ♪ 333 00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:46,286 ♪ With my words ♪ 334 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:50,490 ♪ Ending her whole life with my knife ♪ 335 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:55,027 ♪ Choking her softly with rope... ♪ 336 00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,562 And now for my next request, 337 00:14:56,595 --> 00:14:59,232 I'd like to ask security to take out two trespassers 338 00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:03,169 who, not coincidentally, went back on their word to me. 339 00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:05,338 Uh, you're still here?! 340 00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:06,606 Security! 341 00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,041 ♪ 342 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,508 [HOMER AND MARGE GASP] 343 00:15:09,508 --> 00:15:11,110 [GRUNTS] 344 00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:19,652 [EXCLAIMS] Throw spaghetti sauce in my eyes! 345 00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:20,886 [GRUNTS] 346 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,622 That's-a better. 347 00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:25,524 ♪ 348 00:15:31,697 --> 00:15:33,032 Oh, there she is again. 349 00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:35,034 Doesn't a hotel manager have better things to do? 350 00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:36,035 [BOTH GASP] 351 00:15:36,068 --> 00:15:37,904 I have to protect the brand! 352 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,739 The brand! 353 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,374 Marge, do what I do. 354 00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:50,650 Damn it, Bernice. Do you want to leave this resort in a body bag? 355 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,052 The only hard part will be getting her 356 00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:55,221 to the top of the cliff. 357 00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,691 If the hounds don't taste blood soon, 358 00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,159 I fear they'll go mad. 359 00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:01,327 [GROWLING, BARKING] 360 00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:03,362 This resort is filled with psychos, 361 00:16:03,429 --> 00:16:06,066 murderers and mild neurotics! 362 00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:07,333 Oy, my leg hurts... 363 00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:09,001 [GRUNTS] whenever there's fog. 364 00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,936 [GASPS] Oh, my God, Marge. 365 00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:13,139 It's the worst one of all! 366 00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:15,741 Who here has ever wanted to take a vacation 367 00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,876 and earn money at the same time? 368 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,378 [BOTH SCREAM] 369 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,490 [HUMMING] 370 00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:36,462 You sold us a worthless timeshare! 371 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,464 Uh, you're gonna have to narrow that down. 372 00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:40,733 You remember this? Huh? 373 00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:43,702 Lady, do you know how many pregnant women I have defrauded? 374 00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:46,238 That baby is now ten years old. 375 00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:48,774 Oh, yeah. I'll never forget that ass. 376 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,844 You guys must have accumulated a hell of a lot of debt. 377 00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:54,580 Look, I'm not in that business anymore, okay? 378 00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:57,383 Now I get people out of timeshare scams. 379 00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:59,351 Is that also a scam? 380 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,186 Yeah. Much more profitable. 381 00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:04,256 I'm going to do something now I should have done back then. 382 00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:05,458 [GRUNTS] 383 00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:07,493 Hey, I need that for evil! 384 00:17:07,493 --> 00:17:11,096 You have some very bad karma, mister. 385 00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:13,365 Ooh, ooh, I have bad karma. 386 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:16,168 Oh, I'm so scared! [GRUNTING] 387 00:17:16,268 --> 00:17:19,571 Oh, please don't hurt me, Hindu gods! 388 00:17:19,638 --> 00:17:21,040 [LAUGHING] 389 00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:22,708 Don't be a smart aleck. 390 00:17:22,741 --> 00:17:26,112 When you do something bad, it always catches up with you. 391 00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:27,580 Gotcha! Moochers! 392 00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,748 - Moochers? - They're despicable. 393 00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:33,185 I've been watching you all be miserable in paradise 394 00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,187 and take everything for granted. 395 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,055 So you may be wealthier, 396 00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:39,392 but we're rich in what counts. 397 00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:42,595 - Points? - The ability to go on vacation 398 00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:46,198 and have fun without plotting to kill our loved ones! 399 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:47,499 And now, lady, 400 00:17:47,533 --> 00:17:50,503 I'm going to take in the view! 401 00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:52,538 ♪ 402 00:17:56,422 --> 00:17:58,191 _ 403 00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:00,579 You know, Homie, 404 00:18:00,612 --> 00:18:02,648 the ferry doesn't come for a while. 405 00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:05,417 - How 'bout one last swim? - [CHUCKLES] 406 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,418 _ 407 00:18:09,688 --> 00:18:10,790 Mwah. 408 00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:13,559 ♪ 409 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:15,861 [GROANS] 410 00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:19,331 You've played me for a fool, Bernice. 411 00:18:19,364 --> 00:18:20,465 But no more! 412 00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,901 There's only one way to end this. 413 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:23,903 [GRUNTS] 414 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:24,937 Oh, no! 415 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,242 I love you, Bernice. 416 00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:31,577 And we're not coming down until you're clean. 417 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,479 Also, not until I figure out 418 00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:35,915 how to get this balloon back to land. 419 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,650 [CHUCKLING] 420 00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:39,685 ♪ 421 00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:42,321 No! Stop! 422 00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,456 Nice Dobermans! 423 00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:46,625 [SNARLS] 424 00:18:46,658 --> 00:18:49,795 Thank God I brought my spare bone. 425 00:18:50,395 --> 00:18:52,397 [POSHLY] D'oh! 426 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,802 For you, my darling. 427 00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:58,904 [GASPS] 428 00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,340 Oh, wow. 429 00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:04,577 All the secret phone calls were to arrange this? 430 00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:06,712 [CHUCKLES] Like all sociopaths, 431 00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:09,449 all I really needed was the love of a good woman. 432 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,116 And the proper medication. 433 00:19:11,183 --> 00:19:13,319 Now all I want to do is smother you 434 00:19:13,352 --> 00:19:14,787 with kisses 435 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,221 and set you ablaze 436 00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:17,657 with passion. 437 00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:18,725 [MOANING] 438 00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:19,925 Mwah! 439 00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,326 Well, I'll be. 440 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,196 He's as great a husband as I am. 441 00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:26,132 Now, my dear, may I serenade you 442 00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:28,734 with the divine Gilbert and Sullivan? 443 00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:31,437 ♪ A wandering minstrel I ♪ 444 00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:35,307 ♪ A thing of shreds and patches ♪ 445 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:38,043 ♪ Of ballads, songs and snatches ♪ 446 00:19:38,076 --> 00:19:39,044 Wha... 447 00:19:39,077 --> 00:19:40,713 Tasha, why? 448 00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:43,382 - I'm a fast-cycling manic-depressive! - [GROANING] 449 00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:45,984 Oh, no, Bob! What have I done? 450 00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:48,053 [GROANING] 451 00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:53,259 - Bob. - Mel. 452 00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:54,460 My best to Krusty. 453 00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:56,529 The three of us should have lunch. 454 00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:58,730 Yes, but not this week. I'm doing a cleanse. 455 00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:02,135 Ah. Your colon will thank you. 456 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:05,037 So I guess everyone's fine! 457 00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:08,974 - Except for the body. - _ 458 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:11,777 ♪ 459 00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:13,812 [GASPS] A shark. 460 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,951 Oh, it's just an adorable little otter. 461 00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:20,486 [HISSES] 462 00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:23,189 Oh! [YELLING] 463 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,424 ♪ 464 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:30,229 Timeshare salesman turned retired scoundrel 465 00:20:30,262 --> 00:20:31,864 Nick Callahan is dead, 466 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:35,768 leaving behind a fortune valued at 80 billion points. 467 00:20:35,802 --> 00:20:37,303 In "otter" news... 468 00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:38,905 My chai! 469 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,939 ♪ 470 00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:52,684 [WOMAN VOCALIZING] 471 00:20:56,622 --> 00:21:00,993 ♪ Once again, we've seen rich people act despicably ♪ 472 00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:04,597 ♪ And feel better about ourselves ♪ 473 00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:08,634 ♪ Like Fantasy Island and Glass Onion ♪ 474 00:21:08,634 --> 00:21:11,637 ♪ And even Lord of the Flies. ♪ 475 00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:13,438 [VOCALIZING] 476 00:21:29,944 --> 00:21:31,022 Shh! 477 00:21:34,096 --> 00:21:36,973 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com