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《辛普森家庭》
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該死
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{\an8}(感恩節,六十年後)
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{\an8}(每日iPAD)
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{\an8}(iPAD新聞與世界報告)
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(3D列印機)
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{\an8}(感恩節晚餐)
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{\an8}(蔓越莓墨水不足)
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{\an8}這是荷馬過世後的第一個感恩節
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{\an8}麻煩再來點火雞肉
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{\an8}還好我們還有他的全像投影
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{\an8}好,各位,拿出紀念蠟燭吧
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{\an8}花枝祖母
為什麼我們每年感恩節都要點蠟燭?
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{\an8}為了紀念差點毀了我們小鎮的
那次大規模停電
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{\an8}那個年代,我們記錄東西必須親手寫下來
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{\an8}一切都始於十一月某個寒冷的一天
那時還能在博物館外頭看到雪
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(末日)
(珍貴的回憶)
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(暴風雪來襲)
(哈哈,我看了妳的日記,霸子)
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{\an8}(感恩節六天前)
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{\an8}再見,秋天,你好,寒冷的十一月
強勁的冬季暴風雪正直衝而來
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{\an8}(雪十一月)
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{\an8}荷馬
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{\an8}荷馬,快醒醒
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{\an8}這裡不是夏威夷
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{\an8}從來就不是夏威夷
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{\an8}只是愚蠢的美國
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{\an8}冬季暴風雪快來了
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{\an8}冬季暴風雪
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{\an8}除非有更可怕的新名稱
不然我不打算害怕
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{\an8}這是夾帶炸彈氣旋的極地寒流
可能出現火龍捲
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或是新聞界所稱的「極地火龍捲」
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根本沒人這麼說,肯特
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{\an8}閉嘴,艾寧,我要賣連帽上衣
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{\an8}(極地火龍捲)
(七十元)
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{\an8}(訂購十件連帽上衣)
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荷馬,這很重要
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你有信守承諾,裝好防暴風雪的窗戶嗎?
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世上有兩件事毫無意義
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香味捲筒衛生紙,還有荷馬辛普森的承諾
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我下班後馬上裝
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你要穿這樣去上班?
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今天是夏威夷日
大家封我為卡美哈梅哈王
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開始當薪水小偷吧
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培根
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孩子們,雖然氣象預報說
天氣會冷到要戴三層手套
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但好消息是距離火雞日只剩不到一週
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媽,可以不要叫那天火雞日嗎?
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妳在慶祝對某種生物的屠殺
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花枝,妳老是屠殺氣氛
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你們知道嗎?現在也有很美味的素火雞肉
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才怪
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他們現在在改良味道
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但未來素火雞肉會好吃到極點
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才怪,還是很難吃
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但今年我已經把菜單黏在冰箱上了
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{\an8}(花枝的扁豆泥)
(增重必吃的火雞)
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{\an8}今年對我來說意義非凡
這是我們第一次和瑪格慶祝感恩節
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而且我終於沒有懷孕,所以能夠喝酒
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棒棒腿是我的
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想得美,兒子
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{\an8}我們在你出生那天就說好了
每年感恩節兩根棒棒腿都是我的
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不公平,我那麼小怎麼能簽合約
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(合約)
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這應該是你的腳印吧?
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我還請人公證了
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你這大混蛋...
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但最糟的還沒來
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那年感恩節將超越聖誕節和我的生日
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成為我當年最難過的一天
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{\an8}(夏威夷日,禁止在外玩光球)
(核電廠)
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(請勿開啟)
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歡迎,或學夏威夷人的説法,「歡迎」
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你們大概很好奇
我們為什麼挑了這個特別的日子
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來表揚各位、我的員工和我親愛的朋友
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{\an8}史密瑟斯,我需要東西轉移焦點...
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{\an8}(幾天前)
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{\an8}以免那些工會吸血蟲看到我運來
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那些能取代他們的便宜新設備
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不如辦一整天的夏威夷日吧?
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阿囉哈
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請大家盡情享樂放鬆,謝謝
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要知道大家的工作很有保障
我絕對不會替換掉你們
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這段話沒有弦外之音
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我們愛你
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這是我們最後一次見到他們
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(最高機密)
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歡迎,非工會員工
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在以前的年代,大家都罵你們不參加罷工
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現在你們只是沒福利的工友
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{\an8}(核能廢料)
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(效能67%)
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{\an8}(鈾)
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(核能稽查員)
(輻射偵測器)
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(反應爐堆芯)
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(休息結束,回去上班)
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(效能99%)
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史密瑟斯,愛吃酪梨吐司的非工會員工
怎麼唱得這麼好?
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他們都畢業於名門大學的劇場科系
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那一整組人都是茱莉亞學院畢業生
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不來這裡上班就要教書
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該找人來清理乾淨
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我提名卡美哈梅哈王
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我漸漸覺得讓我當國王
只是要騙我為大家做牛做馬
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不是,這是莫大的榮幸,好騙殿下
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(100%安全廢料丟棄)
(反應爐堆芯)
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(反應爐堆芯)
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我不會犯這種錯
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廢料已安全丟棄
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謝謝
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現在要打給傑夫貝佐斯和伊隆馬斯克
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重新奪回世上最自私自利億萬富翁的頭銜
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我的手機能插哪裡?
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老闆,插座恐怕已經承受不住了
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我也會讓你承受不住
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{\an8}(吸油廢布)
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(未固結中子)
(窗簾)
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快滅火,快滅火
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我們不知該怎麼做
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但我們可以圍著火
跳史特拉汶斯基的《火鳥》
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荷馬,你在裡頭做了什麼?
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我做了我該做的事
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注意,核電廠員工
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看吧,她會告訴你
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核電廠即將熔毀
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請把握時間向你信仰的神禱告
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(達夫啤酒)
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現在請將名牌放進嘴巴
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以利辨識你們骨骸的身分
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(工會員工出口)
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(非工會員工出口)
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你要去哪?
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去求救
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別丟下我,蒙提叔叔
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- 史密瑟斯,起落架有上油嗎?
- 有的
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開什麼玩笑?
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00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:28,859
火勢已撲滅,核電廠毀損
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所有人都失業,感恩節快樂
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我們無電可用
恢復供電的日子也遙遙無期
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(猜猜今天的現場人數)
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- 是多少?是哪一個?
- 我們永遠都不會知道
141
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但每當文明受到威脅
142
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:55,261
良善之人都會放下歧見
143
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責怪代罪羔羊
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好,到底是誰搞砸的?
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荷馬?
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00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:04,103
荷馬...荷馬
147
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:08,608
我認同,我們該找個代罪羔羊
但要怪誰?
148
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,610
你...你,就是你
149
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,194
真不敢相信
150
00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:15,531
我愛大家,大家卻想把我丟到公車下
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真是好主意
152
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:19,035
(春田核電廠)
153
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:23,372
拜託,「把誰丟到公車下」只是一種比喻
154
00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:26,917
就像「我明天開始減肥」
或「我沒有偏愛哪個小孩」
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00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,753
好吧,荷馬,有道理
156
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,129
倒數十秒給你逃
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十、九、八、七...
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00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:35,176
{\an8}你應該要說「秒鐘」
159
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是誰?
160
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:44,602
小心點,我有辣椒噴霧
161
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:47,313
辣椒噴霧
162
00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:49,815
荷馬?
163
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,609
我裝好了防暴風雪的窗戶
164
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:54,695
我也買了手電筒要用的新電池
165
00:10:57,031 --> 00:11:01,118
荷馬的積極讓我媽不禁懷疑
166
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,287
荷馬辛普森
167
00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:06,082
該不會是你導致停電的吧?
168
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,209
大家都覺得是我,但不是我
169
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:11,170
但我不在乎,因為妳相信我
美枝,對吧?
170
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:13,089
我在努力
171
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:15,633
這樣還不算糟啦
172
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- 該死
- 小鎮全居民又被老爸惹毛了
173
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:24,016
霸子,你知道一般家庭
平均要對付多少憤怒的暴民嗎?
174
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六個?
175
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,186
零,零個
176
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真的是你幹的
177
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:30,398
美枝,在所有婚姻中
178
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:34,777
伴侶只有一次機會能說
「妳一定要相信我」
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00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:37,238
對,但你說過十八次了
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看著我的雙眼
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00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:40,783
你之前也這麼說
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00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:44,912
握著我的手,看著我的雙眼
183
00:11:44,912 --> 00:11:46,622
你之前也這麼說
184
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:51,127
握著我的手,看著我的雙眼
感受我的真心
185
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,838
另外,如果妳能確認我的前列腺...
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好啦,好啦
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我不知道
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(離開他)
189
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- 媽媽
- 我本來瞄準了他的眼睛
190
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:09,562
媽媽、爸爸,請給我們希望
191
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,689
這是父母該做的事
192
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:14,316
別擔心,孩子們,政府會幫我們
193
00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:16,652
政府都自身難保了,更何況保護你
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(春田市政廳)
195
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,614
{\an8}我剛獲准委外研究
196
00:12:20,614 --> 00:12:23,826
{\an8}究竟研究該不該委外來做
197
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:25,494
終於,謝謝你
198
00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:28,080
為了解除各位的煩惱
199
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:31,834
我建議辦個遊戲,飢餓遊戲或魷魚遊戲
200
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,002
{\an8}為達成目的
201
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:36,422
{\an8}大家明天要試著殺了米爾豪斯
202
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:40,092
我終於是第一個人選了,萬歲
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00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:44,263
看招
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00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:45,681
{\an8}(荷馬爛透了)
(請歸還磚塊)
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00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:46,932
{\an8}(存量極少)
(該重新訂購)
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00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:48,225
(爵士狂潮)
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00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,521
沒有筆電,沒有電子書閱讀器
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00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:53,731
我該做什麼?
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00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:55,357
我要看書
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00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:58,110
(《平原上的小木屋》)
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00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:01,572
我可能學到什麼
這個拓荒時代的女生看起來很開心
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00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:04,992
我才不開心,真是糟透了
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00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:08,788
我爸爸讓我們舉家搬岀威斯康辛
因為他覺得那裡太奢華
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00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:09,955
威斯康辛耶
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00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:13,417
在妳想變成我之前,回答我這個問題
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00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,878
妳有殺過雞嗎?
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00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:18,088
抱歉,我吃素
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00:13:18,088 --> 00:13:19,298
我也是
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00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:23,010
{\an8}我就在那時開始寫下我的回憶之書
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00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:24,970
{\an8}在我的回憶中,我的聲音是像這樣
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00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,055
{\an8}(珍貴的回憶)
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00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:29,266
在拓荒時期,人們的心智更加堅強
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00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:32,311
直到他們在39歲痛苦地死去
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00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:37,066
事已至此,我只能盡力挽救感恩節
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00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:40,361
食物都不見了
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00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:43,489
荷馬,你有什麼解釋?
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00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,074
我能解釋,我...
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00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:49,036
不要再解釋了,我受不了了
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00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:53,582
爸爸,我真的好難過,我該怎麼辦?
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00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:56,126
不知道,去外面,做個雪人
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00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:59,213
我不能再把生命帶到這悲慘的世界
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00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:00,297
滾
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00:14:01,715 --> 00:14:04,510
我還有一點電量,我能聯絡技術支援
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00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,762
(技術支援)
235
00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:08,347
(願你安息,無線網路)
236
00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:11,100
你以為你想念網路嗎?
237
00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:14,353
聽我說,看過來
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00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:17,773
最新的《駭客任務》電影讓人大失所望
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00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:20,276
不要吃紅藥丸,也不要吃藍藥丸
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00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,319
看這部片需要吃咖啡因藥丸
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00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:23,946
我這則「推特」說完了
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00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:28,200
給你按個讚,事實上,我要追隨你
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00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:32,246
- 噤聲吧,噤聲,噤聲
- 我要一直給你比讚,一直跟著你
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00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:34,373
(老莫小酒館)
245
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:38,752
(喝達夫)
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00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:41,589
(荷馬)
247
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,842
你,你竟敢來這裡?
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00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,093
老莫,是我啊
249
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:48,012
雖然我只是來這裡喝酒、和你打屁
250
00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:51,223
但我們的感情很好,是真正的友情
251
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:52,433
你想講什麼?
252
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:56,270
拜託,我們內心深處深愛著彼此
253
00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:00,107
我也愛你
254
00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:06,780
我們毫無希望,鎮上所有人都恨我們
255
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,782
但有些人沒那麼恨你們
256
00:15:08,782 --> 00:15:10,284
我帶了柴火來
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00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:14,455
爺爺,你去哪弄到這些柴火?
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00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:18,250
怕你不知道
我就是在這麼殘酷的世界長大的
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00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:21,629
在1930或1950年代,或任何合理的年代
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00:15:22,796 --> 00:15:24,882
{\an8}讓我幫你們加大火勢
261
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:32,389
爺爺,你救了我們
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00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:36,018
老人家有很多智慧
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00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,353
只要你們肯花時間...
264
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:38,812
她已經道謝了
265
00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:46,403
我們相當開心,家庭感情重新升溫
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00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,116
(《崩潰的婚姻》月刊)
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00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:55,120
那是什麼聲音?
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00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,332
回去睡吧,親愛的,明天是星期日
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00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:01,961
早上四點才要開始做家事
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00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:04,171
謝謝,爺爺
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00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:10,761
我們終於要永遠除掉荷馬辛普森了
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00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:13,263
然後鎮上的白癡就換我做
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00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,312
(為大多人爭取自由和正義)
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00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:30,364
(《春田購物者》)
275
00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:36,787
天啊,「城鎮歡慶炸死了辛普森一家」
276
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:37,955
(「城鎮歡慶驅逐」)
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00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:40,833
是「驅逐了辛普森一家」
278
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:44,336
代表他們放逐我們了
279
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:47,047
該死,為什麼大家不相信我是無辜的?
280
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:48,549
太絕望了
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00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:51,301
真好玩
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00:16:56,598 --> 00:16:58,392
我猜有一個不幸中的大幸
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00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:00,185
至少不會再有愚蠢的...
284
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:03,397
你好,鄰居
我請他們把我們家搬到你們家旁邊
285
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,486
至少你還相信我,弗蘭德
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00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:12,656
對,但我也相信沒人看得到的聖靈
287
00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:15,659
以聖父、聖子和恐怖第三位之名
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00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,704
我已經兩晚沒睡了
289
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:22,666
因為我只能選擇怨懟你說謊
290
00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:25,461
或相信你,然後覺得自己很傻
291
00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:29,757
好,好吧,我要相信你
292
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:34,011
現在我真的很痛苦
293
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:35,262
有痛苦才會進步
294
00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:37,890
我無法繼續仰賴信念
295
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,976
給我一個理由相信你
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00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,896
其實有,天啊
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00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,356
妳還記得
妳以為我吃光了冰箱裡的食物嗎?
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00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:47,608
記得
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00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:48,901
我沒吃掉
300
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:52,488
{\an8}我學花枝那本愚蠢的拓荒書籍
把食物埋在雪裡保鮮
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00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:53,572
{\an8}(火雞)
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00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:56,992
天啊,你說的是實話
303
00:17:56,992 --> 00:17:58,869
如果這件事你沒說謊
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00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:01,580
那你自始至終都沒說謊
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00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,460
荷馬
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00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:11,048
但如果你是無辜的笨蛋
而不是有罪的白痴,我們該怎麼證明?
307
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:13,258
找出罪魁禍首就行了
308
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:17,221
只有一個人有可能,鎮上的惡霸
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00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:18,472
路易吉
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00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:20,224
不,是伯恩斯
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00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:25,979
史密瑟斯,我再度躲過罪責
願我的報應永遠不會來
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00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:28,148
話別說得那麼早
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00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:30,400
我們知道你做了什麼
314
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:34,738
對,但你們也站在陷阱閘門上
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00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:40,077
沒有電就無法運作,老闆
316
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:42,079
好吧,史密瑟斯,你手動操控吧
317
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,089
你們不能移動,這樣是作弊
318
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:53,549
把他帶走
319
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:57,761
拿小孩子的手銬,盧
320
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:00,389
可惡
321
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:05,435
我得為我的行為負責?
322
00:19:06,019 --> 00:19:07,062
真荒謬
323
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:08,355
(我們浪費了磚塊)
(伯恩斯下地獄)
324
00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:09,648
(我們要見蒙提伯恩斯)
(殺了伯恩斯)
325
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:11,191
蒙哥馬利伯恩斯
326
00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:15,154
我們要判處你
對億萬富翁來說最嚴苛的懲罰
327
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,364
{\an8}你可以輕易付清的罰款
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00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:19,032
{\an8}(人小志氣高)
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00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:22,244
{\an8}我講這句話的時候就賺到更多錢了
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00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:23,328
{\an8}(市長)
331
00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:26,540
真開心你們又愛我了
332
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:28,292
我們還是有點生氣
333
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:31,503
這讓我們想起了你確實做過的壞事
334
00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:33,964
別忘了,荷馬
我本來會成為牙齒矯正醫生
335
00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,507
但多虧你,我當不成
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00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:38,844
不如大家和我們一起享用感恩節晚餐吧?
337
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:42,681
你們只需要把我們家移回原位
338
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:45,684
沒有一次是單純吃晚餐,每次都別有用心
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00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,612
接下來數年
340
00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:59,364
還是會停電,還是有暴民
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00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:02,367
但他們再也不怪我爸了
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00:20:03,243 --> 00:20:04,786
- 霸子?
- 妳的故事好冗長
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00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:06,205
我無聊死了
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00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,915
另外,我終於吃到棒棒腿了
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00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:09,666
現在是我的了
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00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:31,146
「爸爸帶著一顆聖誕節的柳橙
走了23英里回家
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00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:33,315
{\an8}可憐的貝嘉沒嘗到
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00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:36,652
{\an8}因為她那天早上因為猩紅熱過世
349
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:40,447
{\an8}他們在她的墳上削了果皮」
350
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:43,242
{\an8}(《平原上的小木屋》系列之
《聖誕節柳橙》)
351
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,954
{\an8}真棒,爸爸,也許我們該停在這裡
352
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:49,873
{\an8}不行,我得看看尤查里亞有沒有在鎮上
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00:20:49,873 --> 00:20:52,042
{\an8}把皮草賣給不可信賴的加拿大人
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00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:53,710
{\an8}他們上次沒付錢
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00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:56,838
{\an8}好,你之後再告訴我劇情吧
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00:20:56,838 --> 00:21:00,968
{\an8}「隔年春天,她的墳上長了一棵柳橙樹」
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00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,536
夠了
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00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,037
好啦
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00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,542
字幕翻譯:劉晏汝