♪ The Simpsons ♪
[banjo music playing]
[gobbles]
[as Homer] D'oh!
Our first Thanksgiving since Homer passed away.
More turkey, please.
Oh. Thank God we still have his hologram.
[clinks]
All right, everyone. Get out your remembrance candles.
Granny Lisa, why do we light a candle every Thanksgiving?
In remembrance of the great blackout that almost destroyed our town,
when we actually had to write things down by hand.
[children scream]
It started on a cold November day
back when you could actually see snow outside of a museum.
[Kent Brockman on TV] Goodbye, autumn. Hello, "Novem-brrr."
A powerful winter storm is headed our way.
Homie.
♪ Aloha oe ♪
Homie, wake up.
♪ Aloha oe A-- ♪
[groans]
This isn't Hawaii.
It's never Hawaii.
It's just stupid America.
There's a winter storm coming in.
[scoffs] Winter storm.
I refuse to be scared unless there's some terrifying new term for it.
It's an arctic blast with a bomb cyclone and a chance of firenado.
Or, as we in the news business call it: an "arcticonado."
None of us call it that, Kent.
Pipe down, Arnie. I'm selling hoodies.
Homer, this is important.
Did you put up the storm windows like you promised?
[adult Lisa] There are two things I've learned are completely worthless,
scented toilet paper and a promise from Homer Simpson.
- [glass smashing] - [wind howling]
I'll put 'em up right after work.
You're going to work in that?
It's Hawaiian Day, and the guys elected me King Kamehameha.
Let the goofing off at work commence!
[conch trumpets]
[wind howls]
Ew, bacon. [spits]
Now, kids, I know the forecast says it's triple-mitten weather,
but the good news is it's less than one week till Turkey Day.
Mom, can we please not call it Turkey Day?
You're celebrating the slaughter of a living thing.
Lisa, you always slaughter the mood.
You know, there are some amazing faux turkeys to eat now.
Said no one ever.
Right now they're perfecting the taste.
But in the future, faux turkeys will taste really good.
Nope, still sucks. [gags]
But for this year, my menu is already up on the fridge.
And it really means a lot to me. It's our first Thanksgiving with Maggie.
And I'm finally not pregnant, so I can drink.
I call a drumstick.
Nice try, boy.
But we agreed I get both drumsticks every Thanksgiving on the day you were born.
Aw, no fair. I was too young to sign that.
I believe this is your foot, is it not?
And I had it notarized.
Why, you giant--
- [grunting] - [choking]
[sighs]
[adult Lisa] But the worst was yet to come.
That Thanksgiving would surpass Christmas and my birthday
as the saddest day of the year.
Welcome. Or as they say in Hawaii, "Welcome."
You're probably wondering why we chose this special day
to have this celebration of you, my workers and dear, dear friends.
[chuckles]
Smithers, I need a distraction
so those unionized money-sucks don't see the new cheaper replacements
I'm bringing in to take their jobs.
Why don't we throw a Hawaiian day?
Aloha-ha-ha-haa.
Now, enjoy, relax, mahalo,
knowing your jobs are secure and I could never replace you.
[workers cheering]
Nothing ulterior about that statement.
We love you.
That's the last we'll see of them.
Welcome, nonunion workers.
In an older era, they'd call you scabs.
Now you're just friends without benefits. [chuckles]
[machine whirs]
["Henry Ford" playing]
♪ See here, Smithers Here's my theory ♪
♪ For how to cut down What people earn ♪
♪ Every worker should be nonunion That's the genius of Monty Burns ♪
♪ They've got no health care They've got no dental ♪
♪ There's just one bathroom So they take turns ♪
♪ And all the money and all the power ♪
[all] ♪ Are in the clutches Of Monty Burns ♪
[workers] ♪ Hallelujah ♪
♪ Make us grovel For your energy ♪
♪ Speed up the core Speed up the core, men ♪
♪ Speed up the, speed up the Speed up the ♪
♪ Speed up the Core ♪
♪ Rig detectors and bribe inspectors Skip the training 'cause no one learns ♪
♪ Even people who ain't too clever Can work for a minimum wage forever ♪
♪ Broken parts can be glued together
[all] ♪ For Monty Burns ♪
♪ Monty Burns ♪
Smithers, how do these nonunion avocado toasts sing so well?
Oh, well, they're all graduates of prestigious college theater programs.
Ah.
That entire section is Juilliard.
♪ It's this or teach ♪
[Hawaiian music playing]
Somebody should clean these up.
I nominate King Kamehameha.
I'm starting to think this king thing is just a trick to get me to do all the work.
No, no, it's a very great honor, Your Gullibility.
[Carl, Lenny laughing]
Whew. Not gonna make that mistake.
[announcer] Waste disposed safely.
Thank you.
Now, to call Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk
and reclaim my title of the world's most self-serving billionaire.
Where can I plug in my phone?
Uh, sir, I'm afraid we're already over-amped on that outlet.
I'll over-amp you.
Put it out! Put it out!
♪ We don't know how ♪
But we can dance Stravinsky's Firebird around it.
["The Firebird" playing]
[alarm blaring]
[squeals]
Homer, what did you do in there?
I did exactly what I was supposed to do.
[announcer] Attention, plant employees.
See, she'll tell you.
[announcer] Plant meltdown imminent.
Please take this time to get right with your God.
Now, please put your name tag inside your mouth
for the easy identification of your skull.
Where are you going?
[stammers] To get help.
Don't leave me, Uncle Monty!
- Smithers, did you grease the struts? - Yes, sir.
[screams]
Arr you kidding me?
[announcer] Fire extinguished. Plant ruined.
And you are all now out of work. Happy Thanksgiving.
[trumpets]
[adult Lisa] We had no power and no prospects of getting any.
- What is it? What is it? - We'll never know!
[adult Lisa] But whenever there's a threat to civilization,
good people always set aside their differences
and blame a scapegoat.
All right. So who screwed up here?
Homer?
Homer! Homer! Homer!
I agree. We should find a scapegoat. But who?
You! You! You!
I can't believe this.
I love you guys. And now you wanna throw me under the bus.
Great idea.
Hey! Throwing someone under the bus is a figure of speech.
Like, "I'll start my diet tomorrow" or "I love my children equally."
Okay, Homer. Fair enough.
Ten-second head start!
Ten, nine, eight, seven...
You could have at least done Mississippi!
[gasps] Who's there?
Watch it! I have pepper spray.
[Homer] Mmm, pepper spray. [gurgles]
Homer?
I put in all the storm windows.
And I bought brand new batteries for all the flashlights.
Huh? Huh?
[gasps]
[adult Lisa] There was nothing that alarmed my mother more
than a helpful Homer.
Homer Simpson.
Did you have anything to do with the blackout?
Everybody thinks I did, but I didn't.
But I don't care because you believe me, Marge, don't you?
I'm trying.
Eh, could have been worse.
- D'oh! - Once again, the whole town is mad at dad.
Bart, do you know how many furious mobs the average family has to contend with?
Mmm, six?
Zero. Zero!
You did do this.
Marge, in every marriage,
a spouse gets to say one time, "You have got to believe me."
Yes. And you've done it 18 times.
Look in my eyes.
You've said that before.
Hold my hand and look in my eyes.
You've said that before.
Hold my hand, look in my eyes, and feel my heart.
Also, if you can examine my prostate--
All right. All right.
I don't know.
Mom!
I was aiming for his eye.
Mom, Dad, please give us hope.
It's what parents do.
Don't worry, kids. The government will help.
The government cannot help itself, let alone you.
I have just been authorized to commission a study
on whether or not a study should be commissioned.
Finally. Thank you.
So, to take your minds off your troubles,
I propose some kind of games, either Hunger or Squid.
With that in mind,
tomorrow we will begin with everyone attempting to kill Milhouse.
I finally got picked first. Booyah!
[glass smashing]
- [workers chattering] - [worker] Homer.
[chattering continues]
No laptop. No Kindle.
What do I do?
[gasps] I'll read a book.
I might learn something. This pioneer girl was happy.
I'm not happy. This is a nightmare.
My pa moved us out of Wisconsin because he thought it was too fancy.
Wisconsin?
And before you wanna be me, answer this:
Did you ever kill a chicken?
Sorry, I'm a vegetarian.
So was I!
[adult Lisa] That was the moment I began my remembrance book.
[in Frontier accent] And in my memory, I sound like this.
People were made of stronger stuff in pioneer days.
Until they died in agony at 39.
Well, if nothing else, I can try to save Thanksgiving.
[gasps] The food is gone!
Homer, is there an explanation?
Yes, there is. I--
No more explanations! [crying] I can't take it.
[sobbing]
Dad, I'm really sad. What do I do?
I don't know. Go outside. Build a snowman.
I can't bring another life into this awful world.
Shoo!
I have a little juice. I can call tech support.
You think you miss the Internet?
[ringing]
Hear ye, hear ye.
The latest Matrix movie was severely disappointing.
Do not take the red pill or the blue pill.
You need no dose for this one.
End of "tweet."
Hey, like! In fact, I'm going to follow you. [scatting]
- Just mute. Mute. Mute. - I'm giving you likes and following you.
[scatting]
[patrons chatting, cheering]
[Ragtime music stops]
You! How dare you show your face in here?
Moe, it's me.
And beneath all the drinking and the jokes,
we have a real relationship and that means something.
What are you getting at?
Come on, man. Deep down, we kinda love each other.
Love you too.
It's hopeless. Everyone in this town hates us.
[Abe] But some not as much.
I brought firewood.
Whoa, Grampa. How did you score that?
For your information, I grew up in a cruel world like this.
Back in the '30s, or '50s, or whatever makes sense now.
[laughs]
Now let me get that fire going for ya.
[all] Whoa!
Grampa, you saved us.
Well... [chuckles] ...old people have a lot of wisdom
if you take the time to--
She said thank you.
[adult Lisa in Frontier accent] We were more than happy.
We were a family again.
[boards creaks]
Uh, what was that?
Go back to sleep, sweetie. Tomorrow is Sunday.
You don't have to start your chores till 4:00 a.m.
[yawns] Thanks, Grampa.
We'll finally be rid of that Homer Simpson once and for all.
And then I'll be the town idiot.
[laughs] Mmm.
[house squeaks]
Oh, my God! "City celebrates explosion of the Simpsons!"
That's "expulsion of the Simpsons."
Oh, phew.
Which means they kicked us out forever!
Damn it! Why won't people believe I'm innocent?
Oh, it's hopeless.
Whoa! Cool!
[groans] I guess there's one good thing.
At least there's no more stupid--
Howdy, neighbor. I asked them to move my house right next to yours.
[Homer shouts]
Well, at least you believe me, Flanders.
Yes, but I also believe in a Holy Ghost no one can see.
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the spooky plus-one.
[groaning] I haven't slept for two nights
because my choice is either to be furious at you for the lie
or to believe you and feel like a fool.
[groans]
Okay. Okay, I'm going to believe it.
[swallows] Ah!
Now I'm actually in pain.
No pain, no gain.
I can't go on faith anymore.
I have to have a reason to believe you.
[groans]
There is. Oh, my God.
Do you remember when you thought I ate the food in the fridge?
Yes.
Well, I didn't.
I put it under the snow to keep it fresh. Like in Lisa's stupid pioneer book.
Oh, my God. [gasps] You're telling the truth.
And if you're telling the truth about that,
then you're telling the truth about everything.
[gasps] Oh!
[crying] Oh, Homie.
But if you're an innocent idiot instead of a guilty nitwit, how do we prove it?
By finding the person who was behind it.
And there's only one man who it could be. The town villain.
Luigi!
No, Burns.
Smithers, I've alluded justice yet again. May my "uppance" never come.
- [Marge] Not so fast. - [gasps]
We know what you did.
Yes, but you're also standing on top of my trap door.
It, uh, doesn't work without power, sir.
Fine. Smithers, do it manually.
[cranking]
[Mr. Burns cackles]
You can't move. That's cheating.
Take him away, boys.
[penny whistle blows]
Get the kiddie cuffs, Lou.
Curses.
I have to take responsibility for something I did?
[chuckles] Ridiculous.
Montgomery Burns,
we will give you the stiffest punishment any billionaire ever gets:
a fine you can easily pay.
I make more than that in the time it took me to say I make more than that. Hah.
I'm so glad you guys love me again.
We're still a little mad.
This brought back a lot of memories of stuff you actually did do.
Remember, Homer, I was gonna be an orthodontist.
But no more, thanks to you.
What if you all have Thanksgiving dinner with us?
All you have to do is put our house back where it was.
It's never just dinner. There's always something.
[piano playing]
[adult Lisa in Frontier accent] And in the years that followed,
there would be other blackouts and other mobs,
but they never blamed my father again.
- Bart? - Your story was so long,
I died of boredom.
Also, I finally got a drumstick.
Mine now.
[piano resumes]
"Pa had walked back after 23 miles with an orange for Christmas.
Poor Becca didn't get to taste it
because she passed that morning from scarlet fever.
[whimpers] So they zested the rind over her grave."
[crying]
[yawns] That's great, Dad. [yawns] Maybe we should stop here.
No, I have to see if Euchariah sold the pelts in town
to those untrustworthy Canadians.
They didn't pay him for last time!
Okay... [yawning] ...you can tell me what happens later.
"And in the spring, an orange tree grew over her grave."
[sobbing]